98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.
Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, The Gypsy-Pirate Queen,xGabriellaxBoltonx, xEarlySunsetsOverMonroevillex, Smartest Girl In The World, GatorPups95, 'rEd RoSe-StArFiRe-RoSeFiRe', ShimmeringJade, Sabaku no Hasame (Gaara's Desert Rose), ObeyTheSnarf, Snowing Petals, He-Didn't-Betray-Us, The Puppet Kuroari, xxxKoishi Mazuhisutoxxx, Phantomhobbitses
.:Honey Bunches of Quotes:.
"What fun is being 'cool' if you can't wear a sombrero" -Hobbes from Calvin and Hobbes
"Optomism may not solve everything, but it annoys enough people to be worth the effort."
"Never explain--your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway. " Elbert Hubbard
"Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious. " Brendan Gill
"Someday we'll look back at all this and plow into a parked car."
"One day we'll look back, laugh awkwardly, and change the subject. But until that day comes, lets never speak of this again."
'i'm the kind of person who lauqhs at a joke 3 times
once when it's said
once when it's explained to me
once five minutes later when i finally get it'
'When I was younger I hated going to weddings... it seemed that all of my aunts and the grandmotherly types used to come up to me, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, 'You're next.' They stopped that crap after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.'
'Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes' - My sister's shirt
"Knowledge is power and all power corrupts. Study hard – be evil."
"We’ve just witnessed a classic case of something called ‘misdirected rage.’ I believe the technical term is ‘being an ass.’"
"Ok this is stupid, childish and dangerous... we start on three"
"Stress: WHEN THE BODY CAN NO LONGER FIGHT THE URGE TO CHOKE THE $H!T OUTTA SOME @$$H0L3 WHO REALLY DESERVES IT"
"I understand that Scissors can beat Paper,
and I get how Rock can beat Scissors,
but there's no way Paper can beat Rock.
Paper is supposed to magically "wrap around" Rock, leaving it immobile?
Why the heck can't paper do this to scissors?
Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people?
Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly
suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class?
I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody.
A rock would tear that up in about 2 seconds.
When I play rock/paper/scissors, I always choose rock.
Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper
I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say,
'Oh crap, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you'"
"It is white."
- George W. Bush, when asked what the White house was like by a student in East London
"Chemistry is a class you take in high school or college, where you figure out two plus two is 10, or something."
- Dennis Rodman, NBA Basketball player, on Chicago Bull's team chemistry being overrated
When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.
'Build a circle make it straight'
'If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done?'
'Insanity is one step closer to genius.' -me
'Do not MEDDLE in the affairs of DRAGONS for you are CRUNCHY and taste good with KETCHUP' - a sticker
'FIGHT BACK! Fill out your tax forms with Roman numerals.'
'If You Drink Don't Park, Accidents Cause People'
'Some say reading is good. I say: Reading is knowledge. Knowledge is power. Power is corrupt. Corruption is a crime. And crime doesn't pay. So if you read you'll go broke.'
'What part of "Thou Shalt Not..." didn't you understand?' --God
'I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.'
'Occifer, I swear to drunk I’m not God!'
I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was going to blame you.
One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said. "Disneyland burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke.
I'm not afraid of death! What's it going to do? Kill me?
I know Kung Fu, Karate, and 47 other dangerous word.
Anyone who is considered funny will tell you, sometimes without even your asking, that deep inside they are very serious, neurotic, introspective people
END HOMELESSNESS AND HUNGER (eat the homeless)
I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper and complain.
Don't move... we're trying to light your head on fire with our minds
I'm not closed minded, you're just wrong.
Remember, pillage then burn
homework. n. (def.) a crude form of mind control still practiced in some primitive societies
A funny thing is if you're out hiking and your friend gets bit by a poisonous snake, tell him you're going for help, then go about ten feet and pretend YOU got bit by a snake. Then start an argument about who's going to get help. A lot of guys will start crying. That's why it makes you feel good when you tell them it was just a joke.
When we were together, you always said you'd die for me. Now that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise.
Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run- he hates that.
"Never Be Normal!"
"Sanity is overrated."
"Who ever said nothing's impossible had never tried slamming a revolving door!"
"As an older more mature young adult your job is to...make fun of the little kids!"
"There are easier things in life than finding a good man. Nailing Jell-O to a tree, for instance."
"Are you REALLY gonna remember to stop, drop and roll when you're on fire?"
"If a safety pin, duct tape, or a bandaid can't fix it, then you have a serious problem."
"A wise man once said, 'I don't know, go ask a woman.'"
"I have opinions of my own -strong opinions- but I don't always agree with them." -George Bush and sometimes it's just better not to ask.
"Everybody is somebody else's weirdo."
"Three can keep a secret if two are dead."
"I'm going to live forever...or die trying!"
"Anybody who believes in telekinesis, please raise my hand."
"A man walked into a bar and said...ouch."
"A Dyslexic man walked into a bra..." (you try to figure it out)
"Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others." -Groucho Marx
NOW FOR A BRILLIANT MATH LESSON...
From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this:
What Makes 100 percent? What does it mean to give MORE than 100 percent? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100 percent? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100 percent. How about achieving 103 percent? What makes up 100 percent in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98 percent
and
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96 percent
but
A-T-T-I -T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100 percent
and,
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103 percent
AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.
A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118 percent
So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that while HARDWORK and KNOWLEDGE will get you close, and ATTITUDE will get you there, its really the BULLSHIT and the ASSKISSING that will put you over the top.
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