Loke Groundrunner
Poll: IN HAIL TO THE CHUMP, WOULD YOU RATHER SEE WARIO... Vote Now!
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since: 06-10-05, id: 829871, Profile Updated: 05-15-13
country: USA
Author has written 21 stories for Star Wars, Animal Crossing, Super Smash Brothers, Digimon, Teletubbies, Legend of Zelda, Pokémon, Pandora Hearts, Shingeki no Kyojin/進撃の巨人, and Battlestar Galactica: 2003.

Hey everybody, I'm Loke Groundrunner, amateur writer, gamer, violin, harmonica and jaw harp player, Black Keys and Rush fanatic, bored guy, believer in Jesus Christ, and all around nutcase! And if your reading this, you've stumbled onto my profile.

A Bunch of Crap About Myself

Name: Like I'm really that stupid.

Age: 23.

Gender: Male.

Location: Midwestern United States.

Current Avatar: Eren from Shingeki no Kyojin.

Favorite Food: In short, lots of stuff. My favorite kinds of international cuisine are Italian, Greek and Chinese. I also like Mexican and Indian food, but I can't eat it too often for the obvious reasons.

Least Favorite Food: Oscar Meyer hotdogs and shrimp.

Stuff I like: Star Wars, The Simpsons, Digimon, Spider-Man, Battlestar Galactica, Mario, Zelda, Animal Crossing, Kirby, Fullmetal Alchemist, Chocolate Underground, Pandora Hearts, Sword Art Online, Attack on Titan/Shingeki no Kyojin, Hetalia, Pokemon (Just the core games, not the anime or some of the sidegames), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Redwall, Mega Man, Star Fox, Metroid, Castlevania, Real/Extreme Ghostbusters, Metal Gear (I've never played the games, but I've watched some of them on YouTube and read a lot into the franchise), Futurama, Terra Nova, Revolution, Fringe, Grimm, Supernatural, The X-Files, Lie To Me, Knight Rider (The original and the 2008 remake), Legend of the Seeker, The Lord of the Rings, The Chronicles of Narnia, Alex Rider, Animorphs, Arthur, Mr. Bean, Chuck, Pretty much anything made by Steve Oedekirk, Eerie Indiana, Round The Twist and lots of other stuff.

Stuff I Don't Like, Part One: Tom Cruise (He never stops acting), Brian Flemming (Independent filmaker who thinks he's the Antichrist and believes in outdated source material. Most of the stuff he says isn't true or is badly distorted), Bill Maher (Need I say why?), Michael Moore (I disagree with most of his political views, but Canadian Bacon was pretty darn funny), Fred Phelps (This guy makes me sick and gives Christians a bad name), Terry Jones (Same reason. I think we can all agree that burning any religious group's sacred writings doesn't serve any constructive purpose.), Abercrombie and Fitch (Why does that guy's pants have to be so low?), the Kardashians (Please explain to me what they ever did to become celebrities in the first place), most televangelists (I have my reasons) and Kevin Trudeau (The crooked infomercial tycoon who has a persecution complex and claims to have gone to Area 51 and seen alien corpses there, as well as a UFO. And yes, he actually said that).

Stuff I Don't Like, Part Two: The Crystal Star (Possibly the worst Star Wars novel ever written), Teletubbies, Barney the Dinosaur, Miley Cyrus, Rebecca Black, Katy Perry, Hipsters, People who put so much profanity into a work that it almost seems laughable, The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai, The Legend of Bigfoot (Possibly the stupidest movie I've ever had the misfortune of seeing), Victoria's Secret commercials (I think they're annoying and childish), the Pokemon anime (I think it's stupid and a waste of time better spent playing the games), and Prussian Blue (Not only are they Hitler's biggest fangirls since the Third Reich, they also can't sing a lick).

Favorite Writers: Troy Denning, Karen Traviss, James Luceno, Matthew Stover, Timothy Zahn, Kevin J. Anderson, Michael A. Stackpole, Kathy Tyers, Aaron Allston, K.A. Applegate, Anthony Horowitz, Clayton Emery (He wrote a really good book based off of the old Nickelodeon TV series Are You Afraid of the Dark? called The Tale of the Campfire Vampires), Jules Verne, Brian Jacques, Richard Adams, Michael Crichton, Michael Shaara, Jeff Shaara, Samuel Taylor Coleridge, John Bunyan, William Blake, Edgar Allan Poe, Herman Melville, Langston Hughes, J.R.R. Tolkien, C.S. Lewis, Frank Peretti and Ted Dekker.

Least Favorite Writers: Vonda N. McIntyre and Alan Dean Foster.

Favorite Musical Genres: Classic rock, alternative rock, blues, jazz, electronica, 8-bit, contemporary Christian, bluegrass, country (The old and the new), R&B, Latin, various kinds of folk music, J-Pop, Celtic and classical.

Least Favorite Musical Genres: Rap (Mostly for all the profanity and sex stuff, but there are a few rap songs that I do like) and most independent music (Ever notice that a lot of guys who sing independent music sound like girls?).

Some Random Stuff, or More Crap about Myself

I never write or read slash, smut or incest fics.

Traditionally, I was a man of few words when it came to reviews. I sometimes used to say stuff like "Nice", "Nice fic", etc. However, I've turned into quite the windbag lately (All those politically-themed fanfics I've been writing seem to be rubbing off on me) and I've been leaving lengthier reviews. I also provide constructive criticism, but I do so in a friendly and nonconfrontational way.

I really dislike flamers and I don't like flaming. I'm cool with constructive criticism, but telling someone that their story sucks is just cold. Come on, people; even if you hate a particular story, the writer put a lot of work into it. If you have nothing kind to say, say nothing at all.

I rarely write but two or three stories a year. Lately, I've written about one story a year. Sometimes I go years without writing at all. Most of the time I'm too distracted by my personal life to concentrate on writing. I also primarily write one-shots, mostly because of fear of commitment to a long-range plot.

I have a notebook that I write my most of fanfiction/nonfanfiction ideas in. I affectionately call it the Story Graveyard, because what goes in it rarely comes out. I also write my ideas down on loose sheets of paper.

I do not own a cell phone, iPod, iPhone, iPad or iNothing of the sort. iBroke.

I rarely ever eat fast food or anything that contains high amounts of fat. I'm paranoid about my health.

I sometimes wish I lived in Virginia or Montana, the former for the historical sites and the latter for the scenery.

I consider myself to be an armchair theologian/philosopher/historian/biologist/paleontologist/political pundit/entertainment critic and have a tendency to go on rants regarding those subjects quite frequently.

I have this closet obsession with voice acting. I have a knack when reading a book or comic book to give each character a unique voice. One day, I'd like to pursue a career in voice acting, but I've decided that is not what I want to do with my life for the time being.

I have a pet female African clawed frog named Pippin that lives in a small plastic tank on my desk. I've owned her since July of 2004.

I'm not into cosplaying, but if I was, I would cosplay as either Takato Matsuda or Mitsuo Yamaki from Digimon Tamers. I'd also like to cosplay as Rika Nonaka/Ruki Makino, but I'm a guy (But that wouldn't stop me, LOL! Just kidding).

Loke's Family Wall

Some of my peeps here on FF. None of the people here are actually any blood relation to me, but as the Mandalorians say, Aliit ori'shya taldin.

Tune4Toons: My little sister from The True North Strong and Free and one of my best friends in the entire world. She is such an awesome person to hang out with and talk to! She was once an understudy of mine at fanfic writing, but now has become an excellent writer in her own right. Although we may not have the same tastes in music (Even though we do like some of the same artists and songs), she's still cool in my book. Don't get on her bad side; she'll set your hair on fire! Not really. ;P

Archduke Langus: My younger bro and fellow classic rock devotee. He is the king of unusual emoticons and a pro when it comes to Smash Brothers. When he's done with you, you will walk away with the impression that he is a god. He also introduced me to the wonders of Pink Floyd and Rush, taught me the phrase 'butt nuggets' and to throw up after hearing/reading/seeing something gross. BLAAAAAAAAARGH! O_o He also has a very bizarre and random sense of humor that make him totally kewl.

Starship Artisan: My little sister from Canada, the land of awesome musicians, Tim Hortons and... uh... moose. She is a diehard otaku at heart, as well as a sister classic rock fan and a hardcore gamer. She has a thing with laughing, waving frantically in a conversation and hitting people with an imaginary crowbar. She is the living epitome of awesome incarnate. She taught me to type XD as xD, made me into a fan of Fire Emblem and FMA and introduced me to the world of Canadian country music. While I have made her into a fan of Pandora Hearts, she refuses to listen to the Black Keys... ;_;

TheWordMasterofFiction: My little sister and BFF from Virginia and fellow classic rock/Black Keys fan (Brofist). She is a huge fan of Uncharted, Elder Scrolls and Smash Brothers. She pwns at Kid Icarus: Uprising and has handed me my donkey on more than one occasion. She fancies herself as a Swag Master and is just a totally awesome person to talk to. I also am proud to say that I've converted her to FMA, SAO and classic Black Keys. xD

Rebulus Silverspawn: My younger brother from Utah and one of my oldest friends (Along with Langus) here on FF. He can quote Internet memes at the drop of a hat and is big into RPing and Doctor Who. It is through him that I learned of Y U No and Chuck Testa. He's also a diehard Brony and is danged proud of it!

PandorasDarkDreamer: My little sister from The Philippines. She is directly responsible for making me into a fan of Pandora Hearts (which I am very grateful for). She is such a nice person and a really good artist to boot!

i luv niki4444: My little sister from Minnesota who really likes my profile. It's actually how we became friends. xD She's big into Inuyasha, Vampire Knight and SAO (Which she watched at my pleading). She has a very high IQ and is a very good artist. She also accidently bought 50 Shades of Grey, read half of it and set it on fire. True story. ._.

Firestorm Nauralagos: My little sister from the Northeast. She's a big fan of Superchick and loves to play Ultimate, a game which I had never heard of before until I met her (Yes, I have spent most of my life living in a cave). She's also a huge LOTR and POTC fan. I have converted her to The Black Keys and the Classic Rock Side of the Force, much to the chagrin of Tune and Ninja... xD

WalkingShadow39: My sister and fellow Jesus freak from Pennsylvania! She is a fan of Twilight, which many of my friends like to give her grief for, but I personally don't care. One day, I shall convert her to the classic rock and Black Keys sides of the Force!!!!!!

Dont-ask-Its-bad: My little sister from parts unknown. She's a big fan of LOTR and POTC. She has an incredibly peppy personality may have surpassed me and Langus in the random department.

SkullRising: My little bro from Iowa. He is a SSB and Golden Sun fanatic and a huge fan of alternative and punk rock, especially Yellowcard. Also, he's prone to shout Y U NO at the site when it's acting buggy and his cat likes to sit on his keyboard from time to time, which causes a random typage of gibberish. He is addicted to sugary stuff and once related to me a particularly gross story involving a guy at his school that makes me want to BLAAAAAAAARGH every time I think about it.

Sigzix: My younger bro from Maryland. He's a really awesome dude, loves anime and is a hardcore gamer. He's so hardcore that he's even working with these guys in designing some video games.

Keyworks Kid: A younger bro of mine who is also in college. From talking to him, he seems like a pretty cool guy. I've been helping him beta a really sweet original Digimon fic of his that YOU MUST READ.

Lady Paprika: My little sister from Florida, the land of manatees, Miami, and old people. Just like me, she's an old-timer when it comes to fanfic writing. She is a... hipster... but I forgive her for that because she's my friend and FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC. She also is chock-full of wisdom and always has something profound to say.

The Stupendous Jimbo: My metaphorical brother from the Lone Star State. Me and him have a very complicated relationship; a long time ago, we were once mortal enemies, but now we have become friends. He is also a very talented composer and one of the most creative fanfic writers around.

Loke's Recommendations

If you want to laugh yourself stupid with randomness and are a Super Smash Brothers fan, check out joebthegreat. That guy is one of the greatest writers in the Smash Brothers genre on FF.Net! He's my literary hero.

If you want to see game novelizations done right, check out FakeJake93's take on Majora's Mask and zeldamaster8472's adaptation of Ocarina of Time.

If you're looking for a hilarious and friendly place to hang out, Rancho de la Smashis the place to be. Be sure to drop on by and say O hai!

If you're a fan of rock or blues or both, do yourself a favor and buy or download an album by The Black Keys. They all seem pretty awesome to me, but I personally prefer their earlier albums, as well as El Camino.

Listen to anything by Rush. They're rock gods.

Listen to anything by Radio Moscow. They're awesome.

Listen to anything by Bôa. They're the best band you've never heard of.

Don't drink the sweet tea at Arby's. I don't know what it really is and I don't want to know either. It's just bad.

If you ever have insomnia or just want to bore yourself to death, check out The Legend of Bigfoot. It's probably the dumbest movie I've ever seen in my entire life. If you don't believe me, go watch it on YouTube for yourself. The guy doing the documentary ruins any of his credibility in his quest to find the elusive critter when he shows two guys dressed in gorilla costumes dancing around in a clearing. Oy, that's just painful. There is some nice scenery of the Pacific Northwest, though.

If you like history and rap, check out the Alexander Hamilton Rap by Lin-Manuel Miranda. It's rap, but it's educational, so it's good for you.

Read Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. You won't regret it.

If you want to see an animated superhero film done right, either buy or download Batman: Under the Red Hood. The plot might be a bit stupid, but I was riveted to my seat for an hour and fifteen minutes. Batman: Year One is pretty good, too.

Watch Backstroke of the West. It's the most hilarious thing I've ever seen in my life.

If you're a Star Wars fan (like me) and are into the Expanded Universe (like me), do yourself a favor and don't buy The Crystal Star by Vonda N. McIntyre. It is by far one of if not the worst Star Wars novels I've ever read. Within the first three pages, I had a migrane. Bad dialogue, poorly named original characters, Luke and the gang acting way out of character and a really dumb plot abound. If it had not been a library book, I would have totally gone dark side on it. Plus the cover looks looks awful with Leia, Han and Chewie smashed into the lower righthand corner, some guy holding an assault rifle on the left side of the cover and a psychedelic purple swirl in the background. Plus, Luke looks he's either constipated or on drugs.

If you want good Star Wars novels, get The Thrawn Trilogy by Timothy Zahn, The Jedi Academy Trilogy by Kevin J. Anderson, The Truce at Bakura by Kathy Tyers, Dark Lord: The Rise of Darth Vader and Darth Plagueis by James Luceno, The Force Unleashed novelization by Sean Williams, The Republic Commando tetralogy by Karen Traviss and the Revenge of the Sith novelization by Matthew Stover.

Loke's Paste-ables (Courtesy of joebthegreat)

99 percent of people copy and paste stupid statements in their profile talking about how they aren't like 99 percent of people. If you're one of the 1 percent that doesn't copy and paste stupid statements into your profile then copy and paste this statement in your profile.

If you realize that the last statement was hypocritical, you're not like 99 percent of people, and should copy and paste this into your profile (even if it doesn't make any sense).

What's New? I've purposefully put this section down here so you have to read through my whole bio to get here. ;)

I'M BACK, BABEH. AND I'VE GOT AN ATTACK ON TITAN FANFIC, TOO.

Currently, I am in the process of revising and editing Hail to the Chump. I also am working on a prequel to HttC as well as plotting another fic in the HttC series set after the prequel I'm working on.

I really need to someday return to my old stomping grounds in the Star Wars and Digimon fandoms. I've been neglecting them for far too long...


Well, thanks for visiting me and listening to my rambling nonsense. I hope that you'll read and enjoy my works. Some are not very good, I'll freely admit that, but I do try as hard as I can to write a decent story.


1. Love, Interrupted reviews
A tale of love in a world that knows only fear...
Shingeki no Kyojin/進撃の巨人 - Rated: T - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 449 - Reviews: 10 - Published: 5-14-13 - Eren & Sasha - Complete
2. Mr Wario Goes To Washington » reviews
The remarkable and awe-inspiring not-true story of how Wario Jon Bon Jovi Wario, the richest and ugliest man in America, became the President of the United States. Rated K for now.
Super Smash Brothers - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,396 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 12-13-12 - Published: 10-27-12 - Wario & King Dedede
3. PPPPPPPPPPPPHHHHHHHHHHHH » reviews
Oz eventually drinks a bottle of Pepto-Bismol and learns to play the guitar. Formerly known as Pandora Farts.
Pandora Hearts - Rated: T - English - Humor/Spiritual - Chapters: 16 - Words: 13,987 - Reviews: 23 - Updated: 8-24-12 - Published: 3-8-12 - Oz V. & Leo - Complete
4. SUPEREN SMASHA BROTHERREN BRAWLANN » reviews
A tale of political upheaval, conger eels and the strength of the human spirit in spite of overwhelming odds.
Crossover - Super Smash Brothers & Battlestar Galactica: 2003 - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Angst - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,959 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 8-23-12 - Published: 7-21-12
5. The Day The Sun Broke reviews
Link plays the Sun's Song one too many times. If they had Facebook in Shakespeare's day, he would have liked this fic. And so will you.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,273 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 8-14-12 - Link & Kaepora Gaebora - Complete
6. Hail to the Chump » reviews
After getting in trouble for writing violent children's songs, Solid Snake is forced to perform odd jobs for President Wario, who is too lazy to do them himself. Bodily injuries and comic peril ensue.
Super Smash Brothers - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 10 - Words: 29,823 - Reviews: 45 - Updated: 5-30-12 - Published: 1-1-12 - Solid Snake & Wario
7. The Island and The Volcano reviews
While at the ruins of Cinnabar Island, Blue reflects on his defeat by Red.
Pokémon - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,367 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 1-28-12 - Complete
8. Can't Catch a Break reviews
Snake's trying to enjoy a peaceful day-off, but he keeps getting rudely interrupted. A story about a man, his bag of kettle corn and the day from hell.
Super Smash Brothers - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,539 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 4-18-08 - Complete
9. Howling at the Twilight reviews
Link reflects on his journey and how much he misses a certain friend. LinkMidna.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,039 - Reviews: 16 - Published: 1-15-07 - Complete
10. Dog Daze of Summer reviews
Hallucinations! Crazy poems! Romance with a mop! Wendell's gone cannibal! Psychotic Kapp'n! What's gone wrong with the Wild World? Welcome to the Dog Daze of Summer...
Animal Crossing - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,524 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 7-8-06 - Complete
11. Stitches vs PTM reviews
A very bizarre story featuring Stitches and his insane quest to destroy the PTM.
Animal Crossing - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,590 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 3-11-06 - Complete
12. The Dark Load of the Sith reviews
While Palpatine's away at a seminar, Lord Vader has to do his laundry! Disaster is evident.
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,111 - Reviews: 13 - Published: 11-30-05 - Darth Vader & E. Palpatine - Complete
13. Teenage Mutant Teletubbie Ninja Killing Turtles reviews
The Ninja Turtles kill the Teletubbies! A mustread if you hate the Teletubbies with a passion. Turtles kill them off!
Teletubbies - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 664 - Reviews: 30 - Published: 11-13-05 - Complete
14. You and My Ranch Tooth » reviews
Takuya's got issues: he can't get the courage to ask Izumi out and that crazy Ranch Tooth won't leave him alone! What will he do? Warning: insanity abounds.
Digimon - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 7,566 - Reviews: 12 - Updated: 11-1-05 - Published: 9-5-05 - Takuya K. & Izumi O./Zoe - Complete
15. Disrupted Communications reviews
The Smashers do a cell phone commercial and get in a big fight! My first Smash Brothers story, please R&R!
Super Smash Brothers - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,928 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 8-12-05 - Complete
16. Fair Oak Faux Pas reviews
In the town of Fair Oak, a boy named Luigi has a really bad day. Rated T for some gross humor.
Animal Crossing - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,817 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 8-6-05 - Complete
17. Despondency reviews
Pre Dark Nest vignette. Jaina Solo awakens from a nightmare and encounters a ghost from her past.
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 699 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 8-2-05 - Jaina S. - Complete
18. I Find Your Lack of Competence Annoying reviews
Darth Vader finds someone who could help turn Luke to the dark side... or drive the Dark Lord to drink. Please read and review to tell me how it could have been better.
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,294 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 7-25-05 - Darth Vader - Complete
19. Brotherhood and Betrayal reviews
Alternate ending for ROTS: Anakin kills Palpatine and becomes the new emperor with an ending you won't believe! Please R&R!
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,919 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 7-14-05 - Anakin Skywalker & Obi-Wan K. - Complete
20. MonkeyLizards! I Hate MonkeyLizards! reviews
Anakin and Obi-Wan head to a derelict communication center and uncover a horrible evil that wants their pants! Rated T for gross humor, pants jokes and some mild poking of fun at Star Wars.
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,968 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 7-11-05 - Anakin Skywalker & Obi-Wan K. - Complete
21. The Dark Commandment
The tale of the discovery of the Sith temple on the farflung world of Dromund Kaas. Loosely based backstory for the video game Mysteries of the Sith.
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Drama/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,708 - Published: 6-14-05 - Complete
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