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| The Talentless Hack |
Author has written 33 stories for Fullmetal Alchemist, Inuyasha, Rurouni Kenshin, Cowboy Bebop, and Peacemaker Kurogane. Hm...what's there to say? I happen to believe the moniker speaks for itself. ; ). Actually, you may attribute the nom de plume to my friend Christie, who is a righteous bitch and unapologetic ball-buster. She keeps my ego in line, and she badgers me into being less of a lazy ass (so you should totes thank her). She called me a talentless hack as a joke (I hope...)--way back in 2005 or 2006, when I began writing--and because I'm a deeply perverse person, I decided it would be the perfect effeffdotnet pseudonym. And so here we are. Hi there friend. How are you? : ) XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoX Interests: Inuyasha, Full Metal Alchemist, Rurouni Kenshin, for now. I have a Bonanza fetish that no one's supposed to know about, and I may indulge it at a later date (you're probably safe, but never say never right?). Homepage: if you head on over to the ElJay, you can totally find me there (http[backslash]hack001[dot]livejournal[dot]com), and perhaps occasionally be informed of my progress (or lack of the same) on my fanfics. You may, however, have to suffer through a rant...or eight. (This is total bullshit: you will definitely have to suffer through at least eight rants. I apologize in advance.) Personal Info: I'll be 27 next December, and I live in Florida, land of deluges and hurricanes. I'm also finally a college graduate (Class '08, word), and as of April 2011, I am going back for more learnin': that's right, I'm a Grad Student. I reserve the right to blame any inconsistencies in updating on this--you have been warned. As far as updating itself is concerned, that will depend on how quickly I get through editing. As you can tell, I don't know when to shut up; expect this penchant in my writing. One more thing: I don't mind constructive criticism. Anonymous flames will be unceremoniously deleted and promptly forgotten; signed flames will be mocked and generally handled with extreme prejudice--let the records show I gave you fair warning. XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoX An all-purpose disclaimer, should I neglect to place one in my stuff (and I probably will, absentminded as I am): I own nothing, not even my soul--that was signed over to the College Board during my sophomore year of high school. XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoX August 30, 2006: In the mood for a good laugh? I direct you to this blog, by a personal favorite of mine, Dave Barry. And yes, that's exactly what it's like before every single hurricane. Which makes me laugh until I remember that I live here. Then I just cry. XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoX The "saw-in-the-head" shot, as promised in Chapter 38 of Captain Miserable Finds the Greener Grass (just scroll down a tad: it's black and white and basically un-miss-able). XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoX A Long Over-due Note: The response to "Pieces" continues to amaze me. Sure, I hoped people would like it, but I was not prepared for how many of you actually would. As of this writing (03.27.06), it is on FOURTEEN favorites lists (and counting; people add it to their lists pretty often), has garnered eight reviews, and is a resident of three C2 communities. And all I can say is, but damn people, you sure know how to make a gal feel as talented as Shakespeare (I realize there are people who are going to take issue with this, but whatever, I'm feeling under the weather at the moment--just go with it). So this is just a note to say: you guys are awesome, and I appreciate all of you who've taken the time to review "Pieces" (and my other junk too, but "Pieces" is the one that surprised me the most); everyone who put it on their Favorites list/ C2s; and everyone who's read it and/or re-read it. You guys are the reason I keep posting stuff, and it means a lot to me that you like my stuff at least as much as I do, if not more (kinda doubt that though). Thanks again guys, and keep letting me know if I'm on the right track. : ). XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoX "They're More Like Guidelines, Anyways..." So. Some of what I've written are series or trilogies, and rather than be found all together, they're on their lonesomes. A few are neighbors, but others are separated by a different 'verse or two, and it can get hairy for some folks to find them. So in an effort to make them more easy to keep track of, I give you...Guidelines! Yay for Guidelines! :D FMA: "Pieces" "Home" "The Pocketwatch" "Unforgiven" RK: "Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace" Trilogy: "And I Dream About Somewhere" (Part One) "A Smoke Will Fill The Air" (Part Two) "Stranger Things Have Happened" (Part Three) "The Office" Series: "White Day" (Part One) "Secret Santa" (Part Two) "New Year's" (Part Three) "Star Festival" (Part Four) "Misery Loves Company" (Not technically a series, but a kind of helpful guide to the order these particular--and apparently much-beloved--stories might be read in if you want to be all linear and stuff): All The Small Things "Love Is Evol" "Reply Day" Captain Miserable Finds the Greener Grass "Rurouni Kenshin Sketches" Series: "Paradox" (Kenshin & Kaoru) "Gray" (Sano) "Blood" (Saitou, by way of Tokio) "Bushido" (Yahiko) | |||||||
1. For All Seasons » reviewsAU, "Everlong"-verse, Serial. Formerly "The Tradition." UP: "Father Knows Best." "Hello, my love."Rurouni Kenshin - Rated: T - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 22,031 - Reviews: 35 - Updated: 6-17-12 - Published: 11-1-112. Reply Day reviewsCM-verse, sequel to "Love Is Evol." "He figured that Tokio wouldn't mind chocolate, but he refused, on principle, to give her most of what he saw in shop windows. It was all cute to the point of obnoxiousness, and Saitou had standards, dammit."Rurouni Kenshin - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,503 - Reviews: 14 - Published: 4-16-12 - Saitou - Complete3. Everlong » reviewsAU, SaitouTokio. "Hello, I've waited here for you, Everlong…"Rurouni Kenshin - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 24,911 - Reviews: 28 - Updated: 1-14-12 - Published: 11-26-09 - Saitou4. Star Festival reviewsSaitouTokio, AU. Continuation of "New Year's." "I did," she murmured, looking down at the floor. "Not anymore, though." And the dampening of that enthusiasm was entirely unacceptable. Oh my vengeance will be swift, Saitou thought.Rurouni Kenshin - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,775 - Reviews: 19 - Published: 7-27-11 - Saitou - Complete5. New Year's reviewsAU, SaitouTokio. Continuation of "Secret Santa." "My father says lots of things," Tokio said. "Like that Tokio-ba needs to get married so some guy can take care of her," Koji supplied, and Tokio felt her face flame when Saitou raised an eyebrow.Rurouni Kenshin - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,987 - Reviews: 18 - Published: 3-15-11 - Saitou - Complete6. Stupid Cupid » reviewsAU, SaitouTokio. "I don't like you," she said irritably. "I'll grow on you," he assured. Now Complete! No, Really!Rurouni Kenshin - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 19,571 - Reviews: 46 - Updated: 2-13-11 - Published: 2-14-10 - Saitou - Complete7. Ugetsu Monogatari: Tales of Moonlight and Rain » reviewsAU, SaitouTokio. Takagi Tokio hasn't been normal since the day she received a very unique gift from the Wolf god. Tired of being different, she wishes to be normal…Takagi Tokio is about to learn that she ought to be very careful what she wishes for.Rurouni Kenshin - Rated: T - English - Supernatural - Chapters: 5 - Words: 16,500 - Reviews: 28 - Updated: 12-25-10 - Published: 12-3-08 - Saitou8. You Will Meet A Tall Dark Stranger » reviewsSaitouTokio, AU. There's something a little off about Tokio's new neighbor… A Halloween offering in three parts.Rurouni Kenshin - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Horror - Chapters: 4 - Words: 11,402 - Reviews: 23 - Updated: 11-1-10 - Published: 10-31-10 - Saitou - Complete9. Secret Santa reviewsone shot, AU, SaitouTokio. Pseudo-companion piece to "White Day." "You know what would be even better? If we could get Saitou-san to dress up as Santa," Sekihara piped up. "Don't push your luck, Tae-san." Takagi dryly advised.Rurouni Kenshin - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,459 - Reviews: 12 - Published: 12-25-09 - Saitou - Complete10. Fraternizing With the Enemy » reviewsAU, SaitouTokio, WIP. Shakespeare once wrote that the course of true love never did run smooth. The Bard may have been on to something...Rurouni Kenshin - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 6,917 - Reviews: 17 - Published: 6-27-09 - Saitou11. Love Is Evol reviews"Small Things"-verse, pre-CM, oneshot. "Tokio, you have reached new heights of paranoia, she thought with a frown. It's probably that obnoxious man's fault, too. And even if it isn't, I'm totally blaming him anyway, so there."Rurouni Kenshin - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,126 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 2-14-09 - Saitou - Complete12. All The Small Things » reviewsA collection of drabbles set in the "Captain Mis" universe. Up: 32. Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better; 33. Memento; 34. Sexy; 35. Back to the Drawing Board; and 36. Ten More.Rurouni Kenshin - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 36 - Words: 23,729 - Reviews: 69 - Updated: 11-27-08 - Published: 12-11-06 - Saitou13. Stranger Things Have Happened reviewsPart 3 of 3. "This feeling that I get, This one last cigarette, As I lay awake & wait for you to come through that door. Oh maybe, maybe, maybe I can share it with you: I behave, I behave, I behave so I can share it with you."Rurouni Kenshin - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,313 - Reviews: 12 - Published: 11-15-08 - Saitou - Complete14. A Smoke Will Fill the Air reviewsPart 2 of 3. "I can change, I can change, I can change, But who you want me to be? I'm the same, I'm the same, I'm the same, Who do you want me to be?"Rurouni Kenshin - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,511 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 11-15-08 - Saitou - Complete15. And I Dream About Somewhere reviewsPart 1 of 3, AU, SaitouTokio. "Goddamn this dusty room, This hazy afternoon; I'm breathing in this silence like never before…"Rurouni Kenshin - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,020 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 11-15-08 - Saitou - Complete16. Captain Miserable Finds the Greener Grass » reviewsAU, SaitouTokio, WIP. The oddball romance that almost never was. CH. 39: Fish and Visitors. Rated for language and situations.Rurouni Kenshin - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 39 - Words: 345,586 - Reviews: 343 - Updated: 7-31-08 - Published: 7-30-06 - Saitou17. Domesticated » reviewsAU, SaitouTokio. You can take the wolf out of the wild, but you can't take the wild out of the wolf...or can you? A collection of shorts examining that question. No timeline. Rated K through T.Rurouni Kenshin - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,694 - Reviews: 20 - Updated: 6-15-08 - Published: 12-24-07 - Saitou18. Coffee reviewsone shot, AU, SaitouTokio. Place: a diner. Players: a waitress and a police inspector. Plot: what might have been. Go. ..Edited 2.24.2010..Rurouni Kenshin - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,948 - Reviews: 12 - Published: 3-31-08 - Saitou - Complete19. White Day reviewsone shot, AU, SaitouTokio. "He's not scary looking," Tokio said. Upon seeing the looks on her coworkers' faces, she sighed: "Okay, fine, he's a little scary looking."Rurouni Kenshin - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,477 - Reviews: 32 - Published: 3-13-08 - Saitou - Complete20. Happily Ever After reviewsone shot, "Capt Mis" verse, DARK. Real life has a nasty habit of ripping away our most cherished illusions. 2nd person POV, Saitoucentric.Rurouni Kenshin - Rated: M - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 11,310 - Reviews: 12 - Published: 12-24-07 - Saitou - Complete21. Bushido reviews[oneshot] "Because Bushido wasn't a way of life, it was his life."Rurouni Kenshin - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 941 - Reviews: 9 - Published: 9-10-07 - Yahiko - Complete22. Guess Who's Coming to Dinner reviews[one shot] In which Chou finds himself dining in the Wolf's den.Rurouni Kenshin - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,215 - Reviews: 20 - Published: 4-19-07 - Chou - Complete23. The Hijikata Toshizou Facts Game reviews[one shot] There's a new game making the rounds, and it centers on the "Demon Vice Commander," Hijikata Toshizou. Oh this should be good…. As close to crack as I've gotten…SO FAR.Peacemaker Kurogane - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,956 - Reviews: 17 - Published: 10-31-06 - Complete24. The Dead » reviews[WIP] Gone, but never forgotten. 10 years after the recovery of the Shikon no Tama and the defeat of Naraku, Fate has one more task for Kagome to complete. Those of you expecting anything remotely fluffy are in the wrong place.Inuyasha - Rated: M - English - Angst - Chapters: 18 - Words: 126,710 - Reviews: 19 - Updated: 8-21-06 - Published: 8-20-05 - Kagome H. & Sesshomaru25. Angels of Death reviews[drabble] "He's had a premonition of his death. But Vicious doesn't mind."Cowboy Bebop - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 257 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 8-9-06 - Vicious - Complete26. Blood reviews[one shot] "I live with three truths: Aku Soku Zan, Gatotsu, and Blood." Tokio on her husband's job. Set in the beginning of the Kyoto Arc. Rated T just in case.Rurouni Kenshin - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,554 - Reviews: 9 - Published: 7-14-06 - Saitou - Complete27. The Pocketwatch reviews[one shot] Time to put the past away.Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,438 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 6-18-06 - Edward E. - Complete28. Best Night Ever reviews[one shot] [AU] [AM] Being a working girl isn't all it's cracked up to be, but there are a few perks...Rurouni Kenshin - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,108 - Reviews: 17 - Published: 6-13-06 - Aoshi & Misao - Complete29. Gray reviews[one shot] "He knew good was good and bad was bad…black was black and white was white. Except it wasn't."Rurouni Kenshin - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 648 - Reviews: 13 - Published: 4-21-06 - Sanosuke - Complete30. Unforgiven reviews[one shot] How do you explain sin to an innocent?Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,959 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 12-24-05 - Edward E. - Complete31. Home reviews[one shot] Home can be a place to go back to. For the Elric brothers, "home" is people to go back to.Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 717 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 11-13-05 - Edward E. & Alphonse E. - Complete32. Paradox reviews[one shot] "It was simply absurd, really. So of course, in the grand scheme of things, it made perfect sense." A look at opposites and the strange harmony that results when they fit.Rurouni Kenshin - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 662 - Reviews: 11 - Published: 11-9-05 - Kenshin & Kaoru - Complete
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