...WTF are you all doing reading this crap?! Does anyone actually READ this?!

Well, thanks anyway! You're all awsome!! :D

Copy and Paste Shit Every Man and His Dog Has Put In Their Profile.

If you have an obsession with anime/manga, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you think iPods were gifts from the gods, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you're a Goofy Goober (yeah!), copy and paste this into your profile!

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought the paper would protect you, DUMBASS!!

Updates On the Crap of My Life, Bitches.

Yeah, I haven't been on here for like... 3 months. Bitch, bitch, bitch. However, I had to come on here just to post a little rant/blog/thing.

I. Hate. 13-year-old. FANGIRLS.

I mean, seriously... there I was, minding my own business and reading Dracula by Bram Stoker for about the 3rd time during spare period, when a group of 7th graders came up to me ranting and raving about Twilight and asking if I thought it was the greatest book ever to be written into existance as well. (YEAHNO.) Being the mature person I am, I decided to very calmly explain to them how I "didn't really like it" - that's the exact quote - and I only bought them (which I am very much regretting, by the way - I'm seriously contemplating giving them away to my obsessive fangirl friend) to satisfy my rabid curiosity. And if they could kindly stop squealing in my ear about how Edward is "so hawt, DESU!!11oneleventyroflcoptor", as the earth has shifted several inches by the sheer volume of their combined screeching. (Okay, so that last sentence isn't the EXACT thing I said, but I bloody wanted to.)

Big mistake. SRSLY.

They went ape shit. I didn't think I was gonna get out of there alive. (Fucking 7th graders and their sharp nails...)

Of course, having a bunch of tween "vampire" (and I use that term looselsy) obsessees ranting and crying in your face, you just want to get the hell out of there. AND GET OUT I DID.

Only to bump into MOAR of them.

Happyhappyjoyjoy. D:

Actual Profile Is Underneath These Words... Yes, these ones. Right here.

NAME: Cheesy McPoofle Sticks. Otherwise known as Sarah.

AGE: 17 ((Dude, I'm getting kind of old. ...HOORAY FOR SENILITY!))

GENDER: Male ((I also ride pink-spotted llamas through a carwash while waving my delicates proudly.))

RACE: Smorgisborgin. ((What, you've never heard of it?))

STAR-SIGN: ((The question is, whats YOUR star-sign, baby? :wiggles eyebrows suggestively:))

FAV DRINK: Coffee. ((Oh, sweet liquid of the Heavens, what would I do without you?))

FAV COLOUR: Black, purple, blue, green, red. ((Plural? Le gasp!))

LEAST FAVE COLOURS: Pink ((... :eye twitch:))

FAV FOOD: Chocolate. Marshmallows. Chocolate. Anything with the word 'take out' 'junk' or 'fast' with a 'food' at the end. Chocolate... ((:thinks: Did I mention chocolate? Oh, well, fuck it.)) And chocolate. Yay.

LEAST FAV FOOD: Tomatoes ((:launches TOM missle at generic tomato farm: BAHAHAHAHAHA!!))

FAV ANIME / MANGA / CRAZY CARTOON CRAP WITH NO LAWS OF PHYSICS WHATSOEVER:

Hamtaro ((Not so much watch, but write. (At 17? I don't think so.) It's just so easy to poke fun at.))

Ranma 1/2 ((:throws out hands several times: Damn it, why won't that "chi-bomb" crap work for me?!))

Naruto ((HOORAY FOR NINJAHZ!! :insert random karata chop here:))

Fullmetal Alchemist ((I ish Ed fangirl. Haha. 8D))

Inuyasha ((Even after all these years, (7th grade. Yeesh.) it's still pretty pwnsome.))

Hellsing ((:twitch: Vampires... :twitchtwitch: VAMPIRES...!!))

Katekyo Hitman Reborn!

Death Note ((LULZ, CRAZY EMOS. :D))

Wow. I just realized, I basically only read shounen. O_o

FAV TV SHOWS:

Family Guy ((Who doesn't like this show but PTA moms?))

South Park ((Seriously. South Park. 'Nuff said.))

That 70's Show ((KELSO IS AWESOMEEEEEE!!))

The Simpsons

Friends

Fairly Odd Parents

Danny Phantom

Spongebob Squarepants

FAV MOVIES:

Practically anything. 'Cept that fluffy romance crap like "Shakespeare In Love" or "Ever After". DAMN ENGLISH CLASSES!

LEAST FAV SHOWS:

Too many to list. Seriously, it'd take me all night just to remember them all.

FAV VIDEO GAMES: ((God, here we go. Get comfortable.))

Any Fire Emblem

Kingdom Hearts ((Both playstation ones, anyway.))

Any Final Fantasy ((Fucking confusing plotlines. I've screamed at my TV with this game one too many a time. "I've got to put that chocobo in the WHAT?!"))

Pokemon ((To see how bad I've gotten over the years. :glares at older brother snickering from the sidelines: Shut up.))

The Legend of Zelda ((Dude. Zelda.))

Halo ((LAWL. HEADSHOTS ARE FUNEE. :D))

Anything with Mario in the title. ((Mario Kart, Mario Party... you get the point.))

Smash Bros. (('Specially Brawl. I kick everyone's ass when I play as Link. Hellz yes.))

((And I did try my hand at World Of Warcraft... but I suck balls. Stupid undead pricks.))

FAV BOOKS / NOVELS:

Anything. No, seriously. I'll read anything. Does that really surprise anyone on these kinds of sites anymore? Really?

FAV BANDS / SINGERS:

Anything to do with rock, alternative, and maybe a little bit of metal. You gets the idea. I'm kind of a headbanger.

Green Day

Blink 182

Fall Out Boy

Foo Fighters

Three Days Grace

My Chemical Romance

30 Seconds To Mars

Metallica

Alice Cooper

Black Sabbath

Old school 80's bands like AC/DC, Def Leppard, Guns 'n' Roses, Motorhead... blah, blah, blah.

...And I can't be fucked listing the rest. Too many.

Cookys 'n' Creem's FanShippings: ((Yeah, bring it on fangirls.)) WARNING: IS MAJOR YAOI FAN!!

Hamtaro and Bijou.

Stan and Pashmina.

Stan and Crystal. (CrystalGurl101's character)

Sandy and Maxwell.

Cappy and Penelope.

Sasuke and Sakura. ((...Ahem. Yeah. That's probably my favourite Naruto pair 'cause it was my first, too.))

Naruto and Hinata. ((Blame the fandoms, people.))

Neji and Tenten.

Shikamaru and Ino or Temari. ((Doesn't bother me which one.))

Sasuke and Naruto. ((My first yaoi fav, yo. IT WILL NEVA DIE!! NEVAAAAAA!! D:))

Itachi and Sasuke. ((...Shut up. It's HOT. I blame the fanpics and fanfics, people...))

Sasori and Deidara. ((Read as above, dammit. I ish weak to the almighty pull of two hot guys getting it on... -_-))

Gaara and Lee. ((Ha. Haha. I'm such a perve. XD))

SasuSakuNaru. ((BAHAHAHAHA. BEST. THREESOME. EVAR. >:D))

Luffy and Nami. ((:shrugs: Eh. I like it.))

Cosmo and Wanda. ((They've been married for 10,000 years haven't they! I think 10,000 anyway... :shrugs: Eh.))

Any Yaoi Couple. ((SERIOUSLY, ANY. Except the one's I'm REALLY against like Ranma x Ryouga or sumthin'. Any other, show me a picture and I'm right on the fangirl train. I'll practically running the damn thing.))

LEAST FAV COUPLES: ((:arms self a la Rocky training montage: Okay, I'm ready.))

Bijou and Boss. ((...Whatever floats your boat.))

Stan and Bijou. ((Do these ones even EXIST? Seriously?! I'm gonna go look for one right now.))

Hamtaro and Pashmina.

Wanda and Wandisimo Magnifico (the ex-boyfriend who won't give up). ((Notice the EX-Boyfriend?))

Yuri Couples. ((Not my cup of tea, srsly...))

FAV QUOTES:

Fairly Odd Parents-

"Really? Skunk perfume? Becasue I was thinking more of the bazooka family." "...No, skunk is good."

"No amount of therapy will ever make this moment okay."

"What would Brock Rocket do?" "Be a hero, fight the bugs!" "What're you, NUTS?!" --Later-- "Okay, be a hero, fight the bugs... for the record, I just wet myself!" "Be a hero! Don't wet yourself!"

Naruto: The Abridged Series-

"I am Gaara. Of the funk." "plays disco music and lights flash Gaara of the FUUUNK!"

"I will kill you. ...After I fix my eyeshadow."

"Hehe. Moo." ((Kakashi, you lovable freak. xD))

"I'm not Orochimaru! My name is... Steven! ...Viper!"

"We have computers?" "Yeah, apparently we have headsets and fridges, too." "So, are we in the current time, or...? ...WHEN IN THE HELL ARE WE?!"

"Oh, crappers and milk. ...Hehe. M--" "DON'T SAY IT!" "..." "..." "..." "..." "...oo."

"Come to think of it, if we're ninjas, why do some of us have the most inapropriate clothes?" "I wouldn't talk if I were you, Mr. Bright Orange Jumpsuit." "What?! That's crazy; I'm totally stelthy!" "from a very large distance Hello, Naruto!" "...Point taken."

"Now my dance moves will be twice as poppin' fresh!"

"Your first task is to walk on water." "Like Jesus?" "...Yes, Naruto; like Jesus." "Wait, does that mean Jesus was a ninja?" "...Yes, Naruto; Jesus was a ninja." "REALLY?!" "NO, NOT REALLY!!" "Awww..."

"Remember the deal. Help me take over Konoha and I'll give you... land or... power... or something really cliche like that." "Aaaaaand...?" "Oh, yes. And a pony." "Hehe. I like the pink one."

"Okay, try again, but don't SUCK this time."

"Who the FUCK are you?!" "I'm Naruto! And I summoned you!" "Bull SHIT!" "Wow, that's a nice mouth you have on you." "Shut the FUCK up you FUCKING sack of SHIT!!"

"Where in the hell did you get a program?!"

Yu-Gi-Oh!: The Abridged Series- ((Even though I hate this show with a burning passion, this is FUCKING hilarious. I mean, OMG hilarious.))

"Must... risk... life... for cards!"

"Boooooobieeeeees!"

"My parents got divorced a long time ago. Becuase I tried to teach her how to drive." INSERT CRAPPY FLASHBACK IMAGES HERE. "Joey! Stop this crazy thing!" "Apply the hand break ya dumb broad!"

"Holy beep on a beep sandwhich!"

"Man, I sure am glad I'm a cartoon!"

"Think. What would your brother say if he saw you now?" "Well done, Mokuba! Now steal something from Joey, too!" "Okay, but what would he say if he WASN'T a complete douchebag?"

"I'm too rich to die!"

"There's no way he could have survived that fall." "Actually, I seem to be okay." "Nope. He's definately dead." "You guys are IDIOTS." "At least we're not dead. Like you."

"You better not be stealing my deck up there!" "He won't be needing this. Now that he's deceased."

"Shut up and row, dumbass."

"Actually, I DOsmoke marijuana! It's gooood stuff."

"Attention duelists! My hair has abducted this small child!"

"Okay, timeout. Does anybody here actually believe for even one second that this guy is a ghost?" "I do!" "Anyone besides Tristan?" "...I do!"

"What's your point?" "My point is you're NOT a ghost. No EFFING way." "Then explain how I have THIS! The Hatatsumi Giant!" ":sarcastically: ...Oh. You're right. That DEFINATELY proves it."

"Into the Kaiba cave!"

"Hooray for cyber terrorism!"

"It looks like you're pressing the same keys over and over again." "That's because I learnt how to hack by watching old episodes of Star Trek."

"AHH! The blue screen of death! My mortal enemy!"

"Yu-Gi-Oh!: Where bad puns go to die."

"He stole my grandpa's favourite card, put him in the hospital, and then left YOU at the mercy of his enemies. Face it kid, your brother's a giant prick."

"That ghost didn't scare me, even if I did just shit my pants."

"You have herpes?" "Harpies!" "Stop saying herpes!"

"Uh-oh. Have I been crossdressing in my sleep again?"

"Either that or he's turned you all into cosplayers." "The BASTARD!"

"Bullying is just wrong. Destroying people's brains with magical powers is A-OK!"

"Huh. Well, that was just weird. I should probably cut down on the drugs."

"My voice gives me super strength!" "BANG! record skips" "Holy SHIT it really does!"

"Let's celebrate by watching the Spice Girls movie!" "Oh, not again..."

"I'm here for my ballet lessons. I should warn you. I look damn good in a tu-tu."

"Yugi Moto, having lost a children's card game, has gone all emo."

"Take off your clothes! These are the worst strippers I've ever seen!"

"Holy beep on a beep sandwhich with beep on top!"

"This is the funkiest satanic ritual I've ever seen!"

"Faaaaan serviiiiiice...!"

"Deal insurance! Because nothing heals pain quite like money!"

"Look! I think something exciting is happening!" "Blah blah, card games, blah!" "Blah blah blah, attack mode, blah!" "Blah blah blah?!" "Blah." "...Oops. My mistake." ((That scene pretty much summed up my thought on the series...))

"Bakura, don't be a hero! They have invisible guns!" "And we're not afraid to use them!" "Well, I have something much more powerful than invisible guns." "gasp There's no such thing!"

"But, why?" "Well, I suppose my parents never loved me enough. They were always dressing me like a girl. Do you know they wanted to call me Florence? Who names a boy FLORENCE? Idiots, that's who."

"Yugi, you can't be dead! If you were, 4Kids would have cencored it!"

"I told you we should have used the visible guns! But NOOOO, you had to have the INvisible guns! They're magical, and OOOOH--!" "Yeah, way to kick a guy while he's down, Greg! Maybe if we had an invisble tank..." "Oh, shut up! Just SHUT UP!"

"Then, when we were standing at the alter, something very unexpected happened. You exploded. ...Yeah. That was kind of weird."

"I though my dreams had finally come true! But then, you exploded again. You really need to stop doing that."

"You each have 5 minutes to get off the island before we release the hounds."

"WAHHHH!! Stop smiling, big brother, it's really creepy!" "Kaiba smiling that's the most disturbing thing I've ever seen." "Whenever Kaiba smiles, a puppy dies."

"I just realised. Now that the tournament's over, we have to go back to school!" "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO--!"

"Holy beep on a beep sandwhich with beep on top! ...And a side helping of beep!"

"You just got out of the hospital! You're in no condition to play a harmless children's card game!"

"Isn't that right, Teddy?" "Your mother plays card games in HELL!" "O_O"

"I believe the ancient Eygptians played Yu-Gi-Oh! in their spare time." "Pull the other one!" "No, really, I mean it." "Next you'll be telling me the Romans played Pokemon." ((LOL. I think every gamer appreciated that one.))

"You've been kidnapped, Seto Kaiba!" "That's already been estabilished. Just what the hell is the point of this scene?" "It gives the fangirls a chance to see you in chains." ((Hellz to the yes!! xD))

"Listen pal; you can take over my company, you can kidnap my little brother, you can even try to kill me, but when you FUCK around with video games you've gone too far!" ((RAWR! AMEN, BROTHER!!))

"WARNING: this episode contains copius amounts of Duke Devlin. Women with heart conditions are advised not to look directly at Duke Devlin. This also applys to women without heart conditions. He's very pretty. See? See how pretty he is? He's VERY pretty."

"If I win, you have to be my slave." "...Lucky bastard." ((Yeeeep.))

"continuous playing of "Sexy Back" whenever Duke Devlin talks"

"I haven't seen gay readings this strong since that screening of Showgirls."

"Attention duelists! Tonight you will be visited by three spirits!" "Does that include you?" "Huh?" "Are you one of the three spirits?" "No!" "Then kindly get the FUCK out of my mansion."

"Do you comprehend?" "If I say yes, will you go away?" "I shall." "Then yes. I understand COMPLETELY."

"Let's face it. I'm about as important to the plot as Bakura." "Don't say that! Don't even THINK it!"

"OH MY GOD, A GIANT ROCK!"

"Come over here, Kaiba, and prepare to witness something incredible." "Okay, but it's gonna be tough to beat that giant rock." "Watch your about to see will change your life forever." "OH MY GOD, ANOTHER GIANT ROCK!"

"Are you trying to tell me that Yugi and I are destined to play card games with each other for eternity?" "Yes." "Best. Destiny. EVER."

"Yugi, you look like a bodage slave." "Perfect! Girl's love bodage slaves!"

"Yugi you little C--T! You son of a F--KING :beep beep beep:! I'm going to tear off your :beep: and shove them right up your :beep beep beep beep: and then :beep beep beep beep beep: on your :beep beep beep beep: with :beep beep beep: in the :beep beep: and :beep beep beep beep: your :beep beep beep: so then you'll have to :beep: sideways! ...:BEEP:!"

"Brainwashing people is fun!" "Yes, it is. I guess we have more in common than I thought."

"Silence! I command you all to shut the fuck up! We didn't come here to discuss Pegasus' ambiguous sexual orientation." "I did!" "Shut up!"

"I came for the free tacos." "By the way, there are no free tacos. That was a lie." "Figures."

"Are we going to kill him? Cause I would be TOTALLY on board with that. Especially if it involves knives. I like knives. They make me feel all tingly." "No! We won't kill Yugi Moto, that would be too obvious!" "Too fun more like it..."

"There are no women in Yu-Gi-Oh! There are only extremely girly men! And I'm the most girly of them all!" "Keep telling yourself that."

"You look like a human furby for fuck's sake."

"Marik, have you been using your mellenium item as a bong again?" "No! And it was one time! Let it go already!"

"Pegasus, stop trying to molest children and help me think of a plan to defeat Yugi Moto!"

"A plan so evil that even the cruelest and most ruthless organisation known to man wouldn't be able to concieve of it!" "You mean 4Kids?" "Well, I WAS trying to be subtle, but yes; that is who I meant."

"Ewww! You guys have cooties!" "Your mother has cooties!" "Your mother plays card games in HELL!" "I know, that's because I killed her!"

"Yes, what the fuck is it?" "Hello. Is your fridge running?" "I don't have a fucking fridge! I'm an evil mastermind who lives underground in fucking Egypt for fuck's sake! Why would I need a fridge?!" "Then, you had better go and catch it! dial tone" "What?! What the fuck is that supposed that mean?!"

"I don't know which is bigger, his face on the big screen or my boobs!" "Your boobs."

"Shut up Tristan or I'll rip out your asophagus and feed it to you."

"Surprise butt sex!"

Zelda, Ocarina of Time: The Abridged Series-

"Look kid, they call this place DEATH mountain for a reason! Not 'fluffy pink bunny' mountain!"

"But there's raining lava!" "That's alright, I'm wearing a hat."

"And if you need to get back down again, there's a talking owl at the top of the mountain." "...Wait a minute. Did you just say 'talking owl'?" "Well, yeah." SHORTLY AFTER "Hey, what are you doing back here?!" "I can't climb that mountain knowing there's that freakin' owl up there! It's far too dangerous!"

"What the hell?!" "Get 'im off, get 'im off, get 'im off! He smells like zombie ass! Get 'im off!!"

"I mean, he didn't have a penis, so technically he didn't stick anything anywhere. But it was the fact that he was trying that frightened me."

"Now, you DID remember to feed it the giant cherry, and not the bomb, right?" "C'mon, give me SOME credit." "RAWR! dies" "...Okay. There is a slight chance it was a bomb."

"So, did you manage to feed my dodongo alright?" "...The... paaaain..." "Err... o-oh! Yeah!"

"No, Zelda, I must save the world first. THEN we can do the horizontal happy dance!"

"Wow! A magic door! Just like the one's at the supermarket!"

"Unfortunately, it gave Ganondorf enough time to come in and steal the triforce." "How'd he get in here?!" "...I forgot to lock the gate."

"Bravery... stupidity... there the same thing, really."

"Special item, huh? Is it a coffin?" "...No." "Is it a tombstone?" "...No." "Oh, oh! Is it a magic shovel?" ":sarcastically: Yes, Link, it's a magic shovel." "Really?" "NO, YOU IDIOT!"

"I got a mini rocket launcher!" "I think it's a hookshot." "Oh, c'mon. Let's be realistic." "How's it any less realistic than a rocket launcher?!" "...A MINI rocket launcher." ":sighs in frustration:"

"It's a good thing I play Wii sports all the time!"

"Hey there! I'm the Deku Tree's obese son!"

"Is it possible for us to go anywhere without you acting like an idiot?" "...No, probably not."

"Any plan that involves breaking things is okay by me!"

"Crap! A country singing dragon! My one weakness!"

"You just imagined youself, except with Mr.T's head, didn't you?" "...A little bit, yeah."

"Sheik! Man, you fight like a girl! Let me show you how a REAL man fights!" SHORTLY AFTER "I think he's dead."

"Hey, weren't these houses on fire just a few seconds ago?" "...Shut up! This a time for action, not details!"

"Ok, how the hell am I supposed to play that on an ocarina?" "The same way I learned to play it on a harp... by mastering guitar hero." "What?! But I HAVE mastered guitar hero!" "On medium." "No way! That's like 4 button madness!"

"Hehe. Bongo Bongo. That is SO a pornstar name."

"Oh yeah, I named the horse Zelda." "Why?" "Oh... n-no reason. Now, to mount Zelda and then ride her all through the night!" "You horny idiot!"

"Navi, you so craaaaazy."

"Instead of listening to his warning, you just pictured the village being like that stupid beach volley ball game, didn't you?" "Hey! I only play that game cause I'm a keen follower of the sport of volley boob. I mean booby ball. I mean booby boob. I mean... shut up! We're still going."

"Aw, man! Why did they throw me in jail for?!" "Gee. I wonder." SECONDS BEFORE "Ladies, say hello to Mr. Penis!" BACK WITH LINK AND NAVI "Oh, c'mon. That's just say how guys say hello."

"That's better. After all, there's no other way for me to get back here." "Hoot, hoot! I can give you a lift back here if you want!" "...Like I said. No other way." "Awww... why does no-one like me?"

"If you can't fit an adult, you should send...?" "Err... Navi?"

"Quick, Navi! We must fuse together to combine our strength! "Oh, good god, NO!"

"I regret nothiiiiiing...! ...Apart from dying."

"You're a girl. Sheik's a guy. Girls aren't guys. You so--" "If you dare finish that sentence, I'll rip off one of your legs and then bludgen you to death with it!" "...Stupid Navi. You never let me have any fun."

"It's not like he's going to kidnap one of us right now." "KIDNAPPING TIME!!"

"Hehehe. You got changed in front of me." "What?! but it was off screen!" "Not in my mind it wasn't. Ooooh yeeeah." JUST ENOUGH TIME FOR LINK TO BE BEATEN UP BY GUARDS AND THROWN OUT OF THE CASTLE "...Totally worth it!"

Pirates Of The Carribian (sp?)-

"I've got a jar of diiiirt! I've got a jar of diiiirt!"

"I'm not leaving without Jack! sees Jack being chased by rabid cannibals ...Never mind, let's go!"

"I'm a dishonest man. Honestly. It's the honest ones you have to look out for."

"Did no-one come to save me just because they missed me?"

Danny Phantom- "WAHH! She tastes like geek!" "WAHH! He tastes like failure!"

Family Guy- "It's not that I want to kill Louis, it's just I don't want her ALIVE any more."

"Ooh, Sunny D; alright!"

The Simpsons- "With 10,000 we could be millionares!"

"I can't believe I'm meeting Milhouse! Word."

"BATMAN! I mean... LEADER!"

South Park (The Movie)- "Hey Kyle? You know all those times I called you a dumb jew? I didn't mean it. You're not a jew." "...Yes, I am! I AMa jew Cartman!" "No, no Kyle; don't be so hard on yourself!"

Team America- The drunk guy's lecture on "d--s, p--s and a--holes"

The song 'Pearl Harbour Sucked And I Miss You' ((I LOVE THAT SONG!))

MY FANFICS:

HamHam Take Out:The Ham-hams go to different take out restauarants, but end up with VERY strange results! -Humor- ((Dude. Old school.))

Truth, Dare Or... Lose!: A few of the Ham-hams have been forced onto a new truth or dare show! But it has a few twists everywhere, so watch out! -Humor- ((:sigh: THIS is taking forever... checks when it was published TWO YEARS?! Holy shit! And I'm only up to chapter FOUR?! Ugggghhhh...! :repeatedly bangs head onto keyboard over and over:))

Run For The Hills, You Morons!: OneShot RANDOMNESS ALERT! Hamtaro's screaming about giant, mutant, pink squirells; Pashmina's turned hard core religious; Oxnard's a dare devil; Bijou and Sandy keep singing the 'Banana Boat' song over and over; Stan's hyper on MILK...and more stupid things that will make you laugh! -Humor-

Ranma Saotome's Guide To Women: Now in Braille, large print, and even book cassettes read by ORLANDO BLOOM!! -Humor- ((Okay, so I was really bored and this popped into my head. It was begging to be written. Ever had a random voice scream at you until you write the fucker?! ...Didn't think so.))

Black Coffee; No Sugar, No Cream: AU. It was a normal day: it started with coffee, and it ended with coffee. Except for one small detail--she appeared somewhere in between. OneShot -Romance- ((It was semi-serious... I suppose... :shrugs: Meh. I'll live.))

Sasuke Uchiha: Anti-Social Extraordinaire: Sakura teaches Sasuke how NORMAL people react to simple things. Sasuke shows Sakura how HE reacts to simple things. SasuSaku ((First Naruto story. Woot.))

Naivety: A very short SasuNaru OneShot. "Naruto, did you just say you sucked Neji's lollipop?!" ((First Yaoi (slash) story. Man, I've got a lot of "firsts" in here...))

Your Kisses Burn Like Vodka: At an out-of-control Christmas party, Hinata gets wasted. As in under-the-table, gonna-jump-the-nearest-person-she-sees WASTED. Naruto's the only one sober enough to look after her. Chaos ensues. NaruHina. ((First NaruHina. And they just keep coming...))

UP-COMING STORIES I'M GOING TO WRITE: ((Steal any of my plots and I will be forced hunt you down and RIP OUT YOUR SPINE!! ...As you can see, I'm a bit over-protective of my stories. You have been warned, biitches.))

Of Pants and Dominion: Who wears the pants in Neji and Tenten's relationship? I'll give you a great big hint: their last name is NOT Hyuuga. NejiTen. OneShot. ((Um... inspiration, COME BACK!! D:))

(Not So Lazy) Beach Days: Sasuke. Sakura. The Rookie Nine (and Team Gai). Beach. Swimsuits. Fanboys. In a nutshell... Sasuke's jealous. SasuSaku; with a dashof NaruHina, NejiTen and ShikaIno. ((...Hello! :D))

HamHam T.V: All the Ham-hams have taken over all your favourite telivision shows! -Humor- ((Taking a while to write since my other stories are taking a while to go on the internet. The first chapter's not written, either... I thought of this literally four years ago; give me an effing break.))

Ham SEED 87.5: The Ham-hams make a radio show just for hamsters! Phone calls, competitions, special guests... (I'm thinknig the reviwers) Ham SEED has got the lot! Tune in RIGHT NOW! ((Okay, so when its's typed.))

Pillows and Psychos: AU. Sakura is attacked by a serial rapist one night, and only barely escapes. Fearing for her life, everyone suggests she moves in with an unwilling Sasuke, even if it's only for a little while. ...Joy. SasuSaku. ((Um... more of a spur of the moment kinda thing. It'll get written... :pauses: eventually...))

Cashmere and Bruises: A TwoShot (in a way) featuring the thoughts of Sasuke and Sakura. After years of Sakura taking domestic abuse, Sasuke finally decides to confront her and put his foot down. SasuSaku ((A very different style to my writing. Very dramatic and angtsy and serious. It might get written, if I get the right inspiration...))

HamHam Heartbreak: Re-Told!: Basically a story about the game, but in MY style! So it will be WAY funny, Spat will be more evil in a funny way and Hamtaro will actually TALK! -Humor- ((I don't know if anyone else has done, or is doing this. But if they are, I will stop donig this and respect that they were doing it first. But if not... HA! I DID IT FIRST! BAHAHAHAHA! :cough: Sorry.))

Well, that's my profile folks! Hope you enjoyed it! And I know I can't spell to save my life... so sue me. ...NOT LITERALLY!! But at least there's spell check on my computer, so you can actually READ my stories with out going "Wha? What does that say? 'Bannas?' What the hell are those!" Yep, I'm ain't smart, readers. NOT SMART I TELL YOU! :waves report frantically in readers' faces: SEE!!

Zzzz... :snore:

Zzzz... :drool:

Zzzz... :randomally kicks out legs:

Zzzz... :grope: ((Yep, I grope things in my sleep. Mainly drink bottles, but if I'm sleeping with someone... Heh. :D))

"OI! STOP FALLING ASLEEP AT THE COMPUTER DESK!"

...Huh? Oh yeah. Bye bye! Auf Viedersehn! Au Reviour! Ciao! Peace out! See you on the WEST side, LA-TER! And... I can't think of any other ways to say goodbye right now... Yep, I'm REALLLLY lazy. I'll shut up now!

...HEHE. ; :runs off:

:pokes head back in: ...READ MY STORIES! :runs away: