FanFiction.Net - unleash your imagination| Anonymous Authoress |
Hey readers, Well... I have NO stories... Yay? No not really. I hate to say I will not be posting anything for a while. Until I have a story completely done then I will post it little by little like maybe a chapter a day or something. Just to warn you... the reason I will finish it before posting is because you would hate me for not updating, it takes me months on end to write something. It's not that I'm too busy because I'm not its that I stress over school extreamly easily and I have A LOT of ideas... So I'm always thinking of new things instead of going back and trying to work out the old stuff. It annoys me to no end but I can't really stop it. Psssstttt, Shikamaru is my favorite Naruto Character. Favorite Quotes: “Well you have my complete support and I am behind you fully in your opinions,” said Galahad, “I intend to wallow in my bitterness and enjoy every second of it. There will be no more of this thankless custom of courtship and ardor for me. From now on, I am immune to all temptations of affection and infatuation.” “Bravo!” exclaimed Tarra in approval, “We should form a community of likewise apathetic persons. Say Gawain, would you like to join our Society of Bitterness and Indifference?” “Thank you, but no,” Gawain declined, “I still have my heart set on finding a beautiful, amiable woman to wed.” “We’ll see what good those traits will do you when she’s making amiable in another man’s bed while he deflowers her in all her beauty,” replied Galahad, still absorbed in his melancholy. “Well, if Gawain doesn’t join,” continued Tarra, “that just leaves us with Tristan, but somehow I think he’s too enamored with a certain Briton to make a good candidate for Bitterness and Indifference.” At the mention of his name, Tristan looked over at them and spoke for the first time since their departure from Hadrian’s Wall. “Or I’m just already too occupied with being indifferent to your bitterness,” he suggested. “It seems to me that your plan has one fatal flaw,” commented Gawain. “My plans? Flaws? Never!” Tarra protested. “And what flaw might that be?” asked Galahad. “Well,” Gawain stated reasonably, “It seems to me that in your endeavor not to waste anymore time on amorous affairs, you will instead be wasting your time in a static state of that same bitterness and disappointment that you were trying to escape from in the first place.” “Hmmm…” said Galahad, thoughtfully, taking in what Gawain had said. “Oh, don’t listen to him, Galahad,” Tarra retorted, “He’s misinterpreted the entire thing completely! The Society of Bitterness and Indifference is only bitter and indifferent to romantic relationships, not to the essence of life itself. We simply refuse to let our state of happiness be defined by another. Honestly, if you can’t be happy without a lover, you’ll never find happiness with one.” “Hmmm…” repeated Galahad, again thoughtfully, “Sorry, Gawain, I think I’m with Tarra on this one.” “Of course you are because together we’re---” “---bitter and indifferent!” “And delighting in every minute of it!” (Story by Psych17) ----------- “Okay, okay! I take it back! Unfuck you!” (Read it in some Fred & George story) ---------- “Macho law prevents me from admitting I’m wrong.” He spurted out, twirling around with a horrified look on his face. “That’s a detention for you Fred.” “Professor,” George tried, “Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.” “Not in school, however. George, you can join him.” She started to walk away when she changed her mind. “You know, I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you two.” “Much appreciated ma’am.” George said politely “I suppose if you two can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.” “A value we take to heart.” Fred said, covering his heart with his hand and dipping into a bow. Woman’s instinct told me McGonagall wanted to break out into a smile. She kept her face locked into a disapproving glare though as she moved along. Who could resist the Weasley charm? Even I had a small crush on Charlie in my early days at school. “Is she gone?” Fred asked. I nodded. “Thank Merlin. I was sweating like a pregnant nun.” “Why did she give me a detention?” George asked. “I didn’t do anything.” He flipped the bird at the hallway that McGonagall had disappeared behind. As Murphy’s law would have it, McGonagall came back around the corner holding an envelope. “That is why you got a detention Mr. Weasley.” She said with what I swear was a smirk on her face. George stood there speechless. As did Fred. And me. McGonagall was my new hero. (Again Fred & George story somewhere) ----------- "Life’s funny alright. And just when you realize it’s a bitch, it goes and has puppies.” (Completely forgot where this one came from) ----------- "Take a box of crackers to school and hand them out with random phrases on them such as delicious puke and hurt brick." (ASK A NINJA) ----------- He pulled back, fishing in his pocket for something. He pulled out a ten dollar bill, in which I instantly knew that it was mine. snorts i You only knew because it has 'It's raining toilet paper, hallujuah!' all over it! /i ----------- If you kidnap a hobo is it still kidnapping? (Heh heh heh that was me) ------------ Sophie: They have pizza! With fairy cheese! C’mon, Andrea, you’ve got to understand the importance of this! Andrea: (holding her arms) NO! RESIST TEMPTATION! I COMMAND YOU! Peter: I dunno, the sausages with fairy sauce look pretty good. Andrea: Not you, too! Sophie: Peter, that sounded like an obligatory gay comment! Peter: What? AHHH! Author: Tee hee. It’ll never end (WRITER'S QUEST, the funniest stor know to man) ------------- Queen: Sweep the floor! There will be no more berry remains! Queen: This room must be spotless! I can see stains everywhere! It’s appalling! King: I swear, I will strangle each and every one of them. Queen: (rising in volume) And my tiara’s not very pretty! I want it replaced immediately! King: (screaming) I WILL KILL THEM AND THEN THEY WILL DIE! Fairy #1: (meekly) Your majesties? King and Queen: WHAT?! Silence. Andrea: Wow. You guys need anger management. Every fairy in the room: TRUST ME, THEY KNOW. King: I didn’t like my therapist. Every fairy in the room: You SHOT your therapist!!! (Writer's quest... again... I LOVE this story) -------------- “Would you like to hold him?” Tristan offered. “Hell no!” was Tarra’s immediate reply. “And don’t expect me to clean up after the mess he’s going to make either,” she added, “It’s a boy?” “Yes,” he replied. “Well good,” she said, “Girls are insufferably annoying. Just watch his aim or he'll end up peeing all over the middle of your face.” (Again the story by Psych17) ----------- "I thought you were a child molesting perv that wanted to take me to his underground cave!" (Writer's Quest... THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT DERANGED WIZARD!) ---------------- “Did you want something?” I asked, trying to be polite. “Uh…” “What kind of dentist are you anyway?” Liver? Dentist? Yeah… He's definitely crazy… Why do I always meet the psychopaths? No nice normal folks want to meet me. Oh no! That’d be too nice of the ‘powers that be’. “Answer me before I poke you with my fork!” He said while brandishing a spoon. I heard a honk behind me and I turned to see my so-called friends pulling up. “I GOTTA GO! BYE!” I shouted behind me as I frantically started running to the car. I quickly hopped in the back and yelled, “MOVE! There’s a crazy guy back there trying to stab me with a spoon!!” But contrary to my demands, nothing moved. Well, except for Sarah and Kent who doubled over with laughter. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw crazy guy coming towards us. “Guys, stop laughing! He's coming!” I said with a slightly raised voice as I slipped onto the floor to hide. I peeked out from my hiding place; he was still waving his spoon around ... and maybe it was just me, but it was starting to look sharper than before. “Kat, he’s my cousin.” Sarah said through her laughter. “He just moved here. His name is Marty and he’s an actor. Kent and I thought it’d be a good idea to use you to test his acting skills.” “Turns out Marty is pretty good.” Kent managed to get out while he tried to stop his loud guffawing. (Welcome to My Life... On Quizilla) --------------- "What the hell? Guy in drag?! How the hell do you look like a guy in drag when you have..." he glanced down quickly and then avoided my gaze. "...you know." "You know? No I don't know. A dick? Geez thanks Heath." Baylyn tried to cover up her laughter by coughing. "Oh my cough gawd Kae. He means your cough...you know." I stared at both of them frustrated. Heath with his flaming red face - did his doughnut contain chili's or something - and Baylyn with her trying to laugh slash cough like a monkey on drugs. "Guys...so not in the mood. Just tell me and get it over with." I rolled my eyes for emphasis. By this time, Baylyn was bent over from trying to keep herself breathing, and Heath had turned as red as the nail polish on my nails, which was applied yesterday by Michael Jacobs. And let me tell you, they are red. Like...blood red. A bit scarlet-y. But that was the colour of Heath's face right now. "You really don't get it Kae?" Baylyn finally asked, while she gasped for breath. I stared from her, to Heath, and back. "Uh...no. Care to clue me in?" "Well...let's put it this way. He was talking about...your coconuts." My eyes widened to its max, and if anyone took the time to stare, and then point and laugh at me, they would realise that I wasn't blinking. I was that shocked. "Uh..." (Crap I forgot what site this came from... I think Fiction Press...) ---------- “What’s his name?” Markus raised an eyebrow, “You went out with a guy named after kids that write shitty poetry and wear too much eyeliner?” (It Can Always Get Worse, Fiction Press) ------------- He let out a dramatic sigh, fell to the pavement, and started faking his own death. “Oh, it’s gotten so dark. But hark! Is that a light I see at the end of that long, treacherous tunnel?” I snorted with laughter. “Go towards it! I bet you’ll get a cookie.” He sat upright. “How would I get a cookie out of dying?” “Well, first, you’d go to heaven and - of course - they’d reject you-” “HEY! I happen to be a very lovable person!” He interrupted indignantly. I ignored him and continued, “So, then, you’d go on to hell, where there would be a multitude of cookies.” I smiled proudly at my conclusion. (Same author who Wrote Welcome to My Life... who is... I forget these things.) ------------ Sophie: Ogres and trolls? Oh, man, that’s awesome! Andrea: They won’t be like Shrek, you know. Sophie: What? No donkeys? No Scottish accents? Andrea: I’m afraid not, Sophie. Peter: I’m not even going to ask what they’re talking about. Deranged Wizard: Me neither, but donkeys taste pretty good! At this, Peter raised his hand to swat the wizard, but at that moment, he felt a tingling sensation. Andrea and Sophie seemed to feel this too. Sophie: This isn’t arousing! Andrea: AHHHHH! (starts clobbering her) Sophie: Hey! That’s not fair! I didn’t call you Andy! The tingling was getting stronger and actually painful. Andrea tried to move forward, but something held her back. The wizard also seemed to be affected; his spiral beard was straightening, and his eyes seemed to be growing larger. Deranged Wizard: I know this feeling. The other three stared at him. Sophie was shaking uncontrollably as the wizard spoke, his face contorted, more than before, of course. Deranged Wizard: Ethnicity. Andrea: . . .What? Deranged Wizard: (in a high-piercing shriek) ETHNICITY! (Writer's Quest) Andrea: Yes, Peter, you’re still hot, okay? Snap out of it. Peter: My hands. . .they’re big. . . Sophie, on the other hand, was feeling her chest. Sophie: What are these squishy things? Tumors? Do I have tumors? At that moment, the wizard walked over, sniffing the air. It seemed that he, too, noticed the weirdness of the situation. Andrea, more perplexed than Sophie at average, went up to Peter, who was staring down at his crotch. At that moment, whatever metaphor we may use for an explosion or a realization occurred. Peter: OH MY GOD! I HAVE A (CENSORED)! He screamed girlishly and stared at Sophie. Sophie had just laid eyes on Peter and was moving slowly towards him. Sophie: You. . .are you. . .are you my clone? Peter: Oh, shit. . .oh, shit. . . And then it hit Andrea. Andrea: MOTHERFER, THE ELECTRICITY! Deranged Wizard: BODIES! FLESH! BODIES! Sophie and Peter: Wait, what?! Then they screamed. Sophie, Peter, Andrea, and Deranged Wizard: YOU SWITCHED BODIES! DUN DUN DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUN! (Writer's Quest) ------ WOAH... his hair's all like... VOOSH. I ran over to him and reached up to touch his hair. "Uhhh..." he said,"What're you doing?" "Trying to touch your hair!! It's all like voosh!!!" If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into yo--ur profile If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile. If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile. If you think those kids should just give the Rabbit his cereal put this in your profile! If you think those kids should just give the Rabbit his cereal put this in your profile! If you think those kids should just give the Rabbit his cereal put this in your profile! If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile. If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile. If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile. If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile. If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile. If you have ever pushed a door that said PULL or vice versa put this on your profile. If you know a video game/book/movie/anime/manga character or weapon that need(s) to exist, copy and paste this into your profile. Even when you can't see him GOD is there! If you believe in GOD put this in your profile. If you have ever slapped your self on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason put this on your profile. (Various times) 30 of kids go to college. the other 70 either drop out or don't have the proper skills to. If you are on of the 30 that KNOW that your going to college put this on your profile and add your name to the list. EcoliandDahChihuahua, Gaara's-pandachan101, The Quiet Listener, CrazyGirlOfManyNames, Dippy If you are odd and proud of it put this on your profile. | |||||||||||
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