FanFiction.Net - unleash your imagination| KinkyEyepatchShit |
Author has written 30 stories for Final Fantasy VII, Samurai Deeper Kyo, Kingdom Hearts, D.Gray-Man, and Dogs. Name:KinkyEyepatchShit Real name: You may call me Kes. (Kink. Kinky. Eyepatch. or whatever. but NEVER SHIT. I WILL BEAT YOU.) Formerly HotIceRed. Age: wouldn't you like to know? Gender: I am one foxy lady Story Behind The Name:...you'll see. some day. AND I DO ACTUALLY OWN AN EYEPATCH. WHETHER ITS USED FOR KINKY SHIT IS NONE OF YOUR CONCERN. Fave anime: lots of shit. tons, tons, tons. Lately I've been liking Maria Holic and Kuroshitsuji (religiously) Currently SOUTH PARK IS TAKING OVER MY LIFE. Fav manga: Samurai Deeper Kyo, Dogs: Bullets and Carnage, Angel Sanctuary, Ludwig's Revolution, Saiyuki, (insert many other titles here) Projects: The Bang Chronicles: Firecrotch and Zombiefuck, That Genderbender Shite, 100themes, and whatever the fuckelse I feel like! :D A: is for LU LU LU I HAVE SOME APPLES LU LU LU YOU HAVE SOME TOO. God, I love you Butters B: is for Boner. Badou. Bodatious Booty. Mostly booty though. Oh and Blink 182, my alltime favorite band! C: is for CAPS! and for Crossdressing boys. in delicious frilly drag. MMMM. D: is for Devin and the times when you just want to say DAAAAAYYYUUM. THE FUCK WAS THAT. and DOGS. NOT THE PET, THE KICKASS MANGA. CHECK IT OUT. E: is for EROTICA (SINGS) and and and ERNEST. AS IN ERNEST RAMMSTEINER. MY FAVORITE PRIEST LOLICON CREEPER. F: is for oh, this is an easy one. F IS FOR FU-n. no, I lied, its actually for fuck. G: IS FOR GRAMCRACKER. (n) a person of caucasion and puerto rican descent. also, a tasty snack H: is for Hotness, which i encourage and attempt. It is also for Heine, from Dogs, who I am becoming very fond of. I: is for igloo. I don't like the cold, bitch, deal with it. And IRMA my wonderful 'mexican' taco. She's not really mexican. Or a taco. J: is for JACKSHIT. equates to whatIAmDoing and Jasmine, my luv. :D and Jackie my sister :) K: is for KINKS. and KINDERGARDEN. where I was traumatized as a small child. We won't speak of it. L: is for WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I'M TALKING ABOUT!? MOTHER FUCKING L LAWLIET! M: is for Mello and Matt, my favorite psychopath and gamer, who are having hot buttsecks in hell. NOM NOM NOM N: is for Near. Who is, in my opinion, a cockface. He resembles a cupcake, what the fuck is up with that? He's an asshole, but he's adorable. UGH. MY HEART CAN'T TAKE IT. O: is for OHSHIT. This is how i feel most of the time. Happy or Sad. P: is for peni. 8===> Q: is for QUIT TALKING TO ME BITCH. I'M IN MY PRONS MODE, BACK THE FUCK UP. R: is for La Resistance. Also Review Whore, the being which I am. IT MUST FEED. On your NUMMY NUMMY REVIEWS. AND FOR RANDOM I AM. S: is for my last name. It starts with an S, and is very white. Oh, excuse me, caucasion. T: is for tragedy my most dreaded enemy. And Tucker, my adorable vanilla cupcake. consequently, he's not a food item either. Just a caucasion boy. U: is for Uhn Tis Uhn Tis Uhn Tis, that thing you do when you, you kno? Yeah. You know. V: is for Vampires. Lestat de Lioncourt is, and will forever be the brat prince, so FUCK YOU EDWARD CULLEN YOU SHIT. W: is for WHUT? "HELP. I had a dream where jesus was making out with a guy in a wheelchair! Yeah well I dreamed we were playing yugioh cards in ancient egypt, foo!" X: is for XXX!! Oh. Did I mention that already? WELL I'LL DO IT AGAIN. XXX. NUMMERS. Y: is for you!! More than likely, especially if you've given me a review, I am very fond of you. :D You give me the warm fuzzies Z: is for Zebra. because in the animal kingdom, it's okay to be a whore.This letter is also for Zee, who is an amazinghat person! I'm a real comedy buff. (here's a secret, I am also a fan of romantic stuff.) Not like mushy, just cute stuff Like, the most random insane shit. I have trouble being serious, without adding just a pinch of a perv moment. I carry about a bajillion notebooks with me. Birthday presents to my friends have definitely included stories involving grand theft auto, murder, and hitch hiking. Not all in the same story, mind you. I like reactions, whether its whatever I can coax from the characters, or anyone awesome enough to review my stories. Crack!stories, if they've done justice to the fandom, crack me up. One day, i'mma grow up to be a forty year old cougar with a large harem of hot able bodied young men, (there will be redheads) be successful, and NOT get my money taken from them. And 30 years from now, a pervy old lady that frequently pervs on the pool boy. YEAH. WELCOME TO MY FUTURE. | |||||||||
1. The Bang Chronicles: Firecrotch and Zombiefuck » reviewsA compelling tale of one asspirateginger and one sciencefuckcracker in the struggle for acceptance,love,and friendship. JUST KIDDING! Heine and Badou are up to their usual fuckupness in these 'domestic' tales. Enjoy the mayhem, I implore you. R&R loves!Dogs - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 18,010 - Reviews: 29 - Updated: 10-30-09 - Published: 7-4-09 - Badou N. & Haine R.2. The Aneurism Dump reviewsTake a peek again into the daily lives of our ginger asspirate and zombiecracker as they battle the random girl interested in Heine, a singing Bishop, being trapped in the closet, lunchtime confessions, and many, many more! Full sum inside. Rated M. R&R!Dogs - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,628 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 8-2-09 - Badou N. & Haine R. - Complete3. Business Card Blues: White Hair and Eye Patch » reviewsHeine:Uber asshole cracker; Badou: Crackhead emotionaltard Ginger. But the two of them together prove to be one fucked up destructive duo. By all means enjoy the fuckupness of these drabbles. Thar be crude humor ahoy! CompleteDogs - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 8,978 - Reviews: 22 - Updated: 6-25-09 - Published: 5-21-09 - Badou N. & Haine R. - Complete4. Appearances can be Decieving reviewsDeath was always something Badou knew was coming. He just didn't realize it'd all end on top of his partner in mayhem, and with a raging hard on to boot. My Dogs fic debut, woot!Dogs - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,694 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 5-11-09 - Haine R. & Badou N.5. Birthday Snippet reviewsKyo and the gang get together to celebrate the birthday of a very special someone. Chaos and mass confusion ensue. Happy Birthday dahling! Warnings include: Language. R&R hope you enjoy!Samurai Deeper Kyo - Rated: M - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,305 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 4-15-096. A Review for YuyaChan reviewsModern AU. Yuya-chan's attempt at fanfiction results in very few reviews from her peers and gay porn jokes from her boyfriend. But she soon learns that with a little love, anything can happen. HotIceRed: IM BACKS BITCHEZ. Miss me? My attempt at cuteness!Samurai Deeper Kyo - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,116 - Reviews: 13 - Published: 1-31-09 - Yuya & Kyo - Complete7. Summer School equals fates hand giving you the fin reviewsfull title: Summer school equals fates hand giving you the finger. Akira's got a plan, and it's fail proof. or so he thinks. Join him and the other males for a once in a life time opportunity to what they desire: teh boobies,yo!what's under akari's skirtSamurai Deeper Kyo - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,631 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 11-29-08 - Complete8. Killing Demon Eyes Kyo equals a free wallet reviewsTwin boys discover what it means to commit murder. And face some extremely dire consequences. Yet another Kyo-Offspring story. Rated T for language, please R&R it's cute i promise. :Samurai Deeper Kyo - Rated: T - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,286 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 11-4-08 - Complete9. motel 6 » reviewsThe Shiseiten go on a road trip. This is the story of 5 teens finding their way amidst the booze, road rage, and annoying hotel clerks. R&R please, no flames. ON INDEFINITE HIATUSSamurai Deeper Kyo - Rated: M - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 6,788 - Reviews: 17 - Updated: 8-10-08 - Published: 7-24-0810. I'd like a plate of Truth or Dare with a side orde reviewsAll know and fear the Shiseiten, the gods of death. They threw down whole armies without breaking a sweat. But one must wonder what these bloodthirsty creatures do for fun? Well, let's find out. CRACKFIC BABY! Rated M for a reason R&RSamurai Deeper Kyo - Rated: M - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,445 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 6-2-08 - Complete11. Represent the Green, SDK Style reviewsIt's St. Patrick's day. How about we look in on the SDK gang and see how they represent the colors. Rated for language, Yukimura alcohol and such. Better summary inside. Read and Review!Samurai Deeper Kyo - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,172 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 3-17-08 - Complete12. Tales From the School Yard reviewsThe story of five high school students. Their never ending journey through school, less than edible lunch, and the destructive habits of the lesser sane student body. This is their story. R&R no OC's again. GO ME!Samurai Deeper Kyo - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,161 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 2-28-08 - Complete13. Of Pancakes and Real Butter » reviewsJust a crack fic, so be warned. What started out as a remotely calm afternoon with pancakes, soon turns into an amazing journey for our SDK buddies. R&R please, no flames. Better summary inside, i promise. NO OC'S FOR ONCE! GO ME!Samurai Deeper Kyo - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 10,158 - Reviews: 9 - Updated: 2-24-08 - Published: 2-18-0814. A Box of Chocolates reviewsValentine's day, silly fic. Sugar induced drabble. Really short. Hotaru has a little something for Shinrei. R and R please, no flames! Happy bday Shinrei!Samurai Deeper Kyo - Rated: T - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 783 - Reviews: 11 - Published: 2-14-08 - Complete15. Comedy Fight Club Theme » reviewsA set of 'what if' drabbles, containing my four Oc's. Four individuals infiltrate the Mibu compound. On a whim, they struck up a deal, because really, four heads are better than one. Each drabble rated accordingly. R&R flamers can kiss my ass.Samurai Deeper Kyo - Rated: M - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 8,621 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 1-12-0816. School Dayz reviewsAU. Kyo and Yuya knew this day was coming. The day their kids would enter high school. Chaos ensues as the ceremony begins. Twins compete for molesting rights, Akira gets embarrassed, and Bon gets hurt. all in a days work. Better summary inside. R&RSamurai Deeper Kyo - Rated: M - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,122 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 1-1-08 - Complete17. Sex Ed: SDK remix reviewsShin, the son of Hotaru, begins a tale of fear, trauma, and humor. Er humor for Akari. Read as he tells the account of his sex education. Thanks to Akari and his horny parents. rated for language and..you'll find out smirk. R&R give it a shot!Samurai Deeper Kyo - Rated: M - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,641 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 11-30-07 - Complete18. Products of our Future » reviewsRen and her friends get their hands of a sword that's been in her family for generations. What they don't kno is that the sword will start a journey of self discovery into the past in order to save their future. R&R no flames! Rated for languageSamurai Deeper Kyo - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 6 - Words: 19,392 - Reviews: 15 - Updated: 11-20-07 - Published: 9-30-0719. The Idiots Apprentice reviewsWhat's this? After three years, Kyo and the gang reunite for a calm party? Sounds nostalgic, no? No. It's anything but. Join the SDK gang as they babysit their resident drunks and try not to die by consuming Akari's food. R&R. No Flames. OC's present.Samurai Deeper Kyo - Rated: M - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,074 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 10-7-07 - Complete20. A night to remember, though they'll try to forget reviewsSequel to Catastrophe. The madness continues, and a new player enters this game, Hyper Kid! Join us once again as we torture Kyo and the gang, all the while trying not to destroy the house. Rated for language and content. R&R no flames!Samurai Deeper Kyo - Rated: M - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,661 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 9-29-07 - Complete21. Hotaru and the Shinigami » reviewsTakes place during Volumes 22 and 23 of the Manga. Tanaka Renka is a shinigami, and is, for some reason assigned to observe someone in Kyo's group. watch as he attempts to help out without getting in trouble, getting pissed at the supervisors.Sum InsideSamurai Deeper Kyo - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 15,890 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 8-2-07 - Published: 7-14-07 - Complete22. Smooth Criminals reviewsThey were gonna do it! The mission: steal from the panda Bookman. These teens might not make it out alive. But wait, what? a backstabber among them? it's time to take up the chase. Summary SUCKS ASS. so read the real one inside. R&R plz. thanks.D.Gray-Man - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,465 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 7-4-0723. So, this is my life huh? Tales of the Shiseiten of reviewswhat starts out as a normal day at the Freelance office of the Shiseiten, turns into an embarassing, tragic, and sticky, situation. Contains rabid raccoons, a truckload of lube, perverts, etc. Sum. sucks, so read the one inside. R&R too please.Samurai Deeper Kyo - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,111 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 6-5-0724. It's called a little reunion reviewsA hot muggy day in summer. Finding a sleeping old man on the street, Kazu wakes him up, setting off a chain reaction that will ultimately destroy parts of his house, and pit him against his arch enemy:his supposed girlfriend. Plz R&RSamurai Deeper Kyo - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,874 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 6-2-07 - Complete25. The reason not to spend the night at Kyo's place reviewsOn a normal outing, Kazu meets the strangest girl, who claims that her father got lost. It seems that his parents know this strange man, and invite him and his daughter to spend the night. Chaos insues. Plz read and review. No flames please. thnks.Samurai Deeper Kyo - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,049 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 5-28-07 - Complete26. Breaking and Entering: DGrayMan style reviewsWhat started out as a normal visit to their gaurdians work place, turns out to be a wild fast paced roller coaster ride through Komui's lab! Join these five teens as they try not to get killed by the scientists crazy experiments.R&R.D.Gray-Man - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,721 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 5-4-07 - Complete27. It All Started with Porn » reviewsWarning! contains Bishies coming to our world, food fights, boxer thieves, mentions of molestation, fights, emo's, massive glomping, etc. total crack. sorry summaries suck. Rand R plz! demyxzexion, implied rikusora. language, content, the usual.NO FLAMESKingdom Hearts - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,031 - Reviews: 9 - Updated: 1-28-07 - Published: 1-26-07 - Complete28. Why fictional characters are just that reviewsThe reason fictional characters are fictional. that would mean countless men violated by rabid fangirls. This is just a slight taste of that. No hot characters were raped in the making of this fic. Totally crack. Read and review plz. No flamers.Final Fantasy VII - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,251 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 12-26-0629. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree reviewsIt's been seven years since Kyo won. Now, Yuya recalls some of the events that lead to her current situation. Married with a child, the blond bounty huntress is trying to get through each chaotic day, while fending off annoying allies, and pesky neighborsSamurai Deeper Kyo - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,672 - Reviews: 14 - Published: 12-22-06 - Complete30. A Day With The Turks reviewsOneShot!The following takes place between 4:00am and 4:00pm. Another crazy day with the turks. From waking up, to Elena's outbursts, and Reno getting death threats from his coworkers, can this day get any more insane? well...yeah it can. My first oneshot,Final Fantasy VII - Rated: T - English - General/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,608 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 11-28-06 - Complete
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