Author has written 32 stories for Teen Titans, RENT, 24, Pendragon, X-Men: The Movie, Avatar: Last Airbender, Chronicles of Narnia, and Star Trek: 2009.

Ultra Geek's Log, Star Date unknown...I have been orbiting this site known as Fanfiction for quite some time now. Obsessions have shifted from fandom to fandom, but I persevere. I have entered the final circle of geekdom, in the fandom of Star Trek:2009. Today, I have found a song called 'Star Trekkin'', and it will not get out of my head. But nevermind that, it is not pertinent! This Fanfiction is an interesting thing...I cannot seem to stay away...

About Me

I'm not going to tell you my actual name, as that would be classified under 'stupid'. You may call me Ultra Geek or Geeky. I am seventeen, going on eighteen, etc. Um. I like to write. That's about it.

OBSESSION UPDATE!!

So. A really long time ago, I went and saw the new Star Trek movie, and H to the O to the L to the Y to the crap. Holy crap. It totally blew me away! This led me to watch some of the original series of Star Trek...you know, with Leonard Nimoy and William Shatner and DeForrest Kelley...and now I'm hooked. I don't know what the correct term is, exactly, whether it's 'Trekkie' or 'Trekker', but I am totally that. However...there was one episode in Star Trek: TOS that just made me laugh outright at the ridiculousness, and that was 'Spock's Brain'. It has Kirk running around and pointing at people going "I KNOW YOU HAVE SPOCK'S BRAIN SO JUST TELL ME WHERE IT IS!!" Hahahaha!

The good Doctor McCoy is my favorite, and TOS just made me love him even more. That part in the movie where he first shows up...perfect. Just perfect! I really need to see the new movie again and see if he says the whole "He's dead, Jim" line anywhere. I can't remember!

"I'm a doctor, not a shuttle conductor!"
"I'm a doctor, not an escalator!"
"I'm a doctor, not an engineer!"
"I'm a doctor, not a salt miner!"
"I'm a doctor, not a physicist!"

Ah, Bones...you and your crankyness make me happy...

Top Ten Favorite Fictional Characters of All Time (Basically the list of awesome)

10.) Reepicheep, Chronicles of Narnia
Face it. Reep is freaking awesome. He's a mouse, for goodness' sake! A mouse with a sword! And a feather! What's not to love?

9.) Mirror Spock, Star Trek
Okay. Normal Spock is pretty cool. Actually, he'd probably be #11 on this list. However, in the original series of Star Trek, Kirk et al get catapulted into a mirror universe. Apparently, in Star Trek logic, Spock + beard = awesome sauce. And mildly evil. You don't mess with mirror!Spock. Or normal Spock, really, but especially not mirror!Spock.

8.)Peregrin Took, Lord of the Rings
The only thing - and I mean the only thing - that I can find wrong with the Lord of the Rings movies was the fact that they sold Pippin so short. I mean, really. In the book (when Frodo et al returns to the Shire) Pippin gets to flaunt his badassery. Not so much in the movies. Ah, well.

7.) Yoda, Star Wars
Its Yoda. 'Nough said.

6.) Edmund Pevensie, Chronicles of Narnia
Where to begin with dear Edmund? Poor dear is so under appreciated. They better give him more screen time in Dawn Treader! Anyway, Edmund is super cool, mostly because of how his character develops. I'll be honest...I really don't like him that much in the beginning of Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. He's such a brat. But by the end, he's developed into a warrior of epic proportions. Touche, Edmund, Touche.

5.) James T. Kirk, Star Trek
Say what you will, but he IS a better captain that Picard ever was. End of story.

4.) Sokka, Avatar: The Last Airbender
Okay, Sokka I just adore. He does get a little annoying sometimes, but I just love how his character develops. In the beginning, he's just sort of the third - then fourth - wheel of the GAang. However, by the end, he's leading the charge against the Fire Nation and taking out Airships and saving girls and sword fighting like a fiend! Honestly, my favorite moment with him is when he decapitates Melon Lord and tells Aang that's how its done. He's such a soldier there, and its a wonderful contrast to his usual role as the comic relief. And he's a womanizer, which I find hilarioius in "children's" shows.

3.) Ianto Jones, Torchwood
Freakin' Torchwood. WHY MUST YOU KILL EVERYONE? Anyway, Mr. Ianto Jones aka Teaboy clocks in at number three. I mean, he had a cyberman - cyberwoman? Whatever - hidden in the basement for Lord only knows how long, and nobody even noticed! I suspect Susie did, but Susie sort of killed herself, so she doesn't count. And, and he looks amazing in a suit. And so sarcastic! And, of course, I must mention the stopwatch, 'cause its all about the button on top! Oh, Ianto. Rest in Peace, you fictional Welshman you.

2.)Leonard H. McCoy "Bones", Star Trek
I don't care if we're talking old school or new school, Kelley or Urban, anyway you spin it, Bones is awesome in his complaining cantankorous self. See the 'Obsession Update' above for further reasoning.

1.) Atticus Finch, To Kill A Mockingbird
C'mon. It's Atticus. You thought mirror!Spock was badass? Check this guy out! I could site for you all the cool things he's done (shot the rabid dog, faced down a mob, etc.) but then I'd just end up writing down the plot of To Kill A Mockingbird. Which, if you've been through 9th grade English, you've probably read. And by probably I mean that you have. But serioiusly. Atticus is the single most amazing person to ever be imagined by another person.

Skander Keynes

I'm going to marry Skander Keynes. He just doesn't know it yet.

Caspian

I'll be honest: the book version of Caspian? The one from the eighties? I hate them. I hate them both. I don't know why. I just can't stand the character of Caspian. I know I'm probably going to get blasted for it, but I don't like him. He's just so...so...ugh. Yes. That's it. That's it exactly. Ugh.

...Ben Barnes helps. A little.

Socks

Socks were knitted by Satan to piss people off. They are useless, hot, retain water like nobody’s business, and get all nasty when your feet sweat. Socks are evil. End of story.

…Except for toe socks. And striped ones. All other socks are devil-socks.

Ol’ Nellie

Ol’ Nellie is my computer. She’s a Windows 95. My Dad was going to sell her, and I offered to just take her off his hands for him. Now she’s in my room, and I type and play solitaire on her. I delight in telling my friends that Nellie lives on my desk and plays cards with me when I’m bored. Ol’ Nellie doesn’t even recognize USB ports. Only floppy disks. That annoying little red line shows up under the words ‘geek’ and ‘Robbie’. Nellie is old, and thus I call her Ol’ Nellie.

Self-Insertion in Fanfiction

Just…no.

Mary-Sues in Fanfiction

See above.

Miley Cyrus

See above above.

Henry Clay

Henry Clay is the single greatest American ever to live. He had something like seven kids. All of ‘em died except for two, and they both went crazy and had to be committed. Mrs. Henry Clay also got a room at the Happy Hotel. He caused the civil war and lost the presidency six times. His famous quote is ‘I’d rather be right than be president’.

Now, I can hear you all thinking: What? This guy doesn’t sound like the greatest American ever! He sounds like a loser.

Well…he is kind of a loser. But you know what Henry Clay teaches us? No matter how badly you screw up, or how many times the American people say that they don’t want you for president, or how many of your kids go bozo…You just buck up and try, try again. That is the lesson of Henry Clay.

Piando

Piando is the Avatar World’s Batman. Seriously, he even has a butler. And a mansion. And, I’m willing to bet that his parents died a tragic death.

Which would make Sokka like Robin.

/Stares blankly into space at image of Sokka in spandex./

/Keels over./

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid

I didn’t put this in my favorite things spot because it’s a category onto its own.

I have a poster from that last scene hanging on my wall. If my house was on fire and I could only take one thing, I’d probably take the poster.

Quotes

“Good. For a moment there I thought we were in trouble.”
- Paul Newman (Last line in Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid)

“For me, it’s all about comfort. I’ll go the whole summer wearing nothing but thongs...I’m talking about SHOES! Get that other image out of your minds!”
“Too late. That disk is burned.”
- Jerry Scott and Jim Borgman (Zits)

“Ah, here comes the stork-man to make sure I’m not corrupting you.”
- Tamora Pierce (The Immortals quartet)

"...My first girlfriend turned into the moon."
"That's rough, buddy."
- Sokka and Zuko (Avatar)

"Go, Aang! Airbending slice!"
-Sokka (Avatar)

"Get out of the bison's mouth, Sokka."
-Zuko (Avatar)

"You, you, you! You were going to let me do that?"
"Well, you made a very compelling argument - "
"You sent me those flowers!"
"You took her to a play! Because deep down, you do want to march down there and kiss her."
"...You're right."
"Seriously?"
"No. You're a jerk."
"G'night, Wilson."
"Night, House."
-Wilson and House (House, MD)

“That's the problem with girls: Can't carry a map in their heads."
"That's because our heads have something in them."
-Peter and Lucy (Narnia: Prince Caspian)

"You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villian."
-Harvey Dent (The Dark Knight)

“’Percy,’ Annabeth said. ‘I said hello to the poodle. You say hello to the poodle.’ The poodle growled. I said hello to the poodle.”
- Rick Riordan (Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightening Thief)

“Do not blame me if I talk to the clouds.”
- Henry David Thoreau

“It was involuntary. They sank my boat.”
- JFK (when asked how he became a war hero)

“Its déjà vu all over again.”
- Yogi Berra

“Tell him I’ve been to fucking busy…or vice versa.”
- Dorothy Parker

The Modern Toilet

Did you know that the modern toilet was invented by a guy named Thomas Crapper?

Unintentionally Funny Newspaper Headlines

ELEVEN REMAIN DEAD AFTER MORGUE SHOOT OUT

LAWYERS GIVE POOR FREE LEAGAL ADVICE

TRAFFIC DEAD RISE SLOWLY

DRUNK GETS NINE MONTHS IN VIOLIN CASE

CITY MAY IMPOSE TIME FOR MANDATORY PROSTITUTION

ENRAGED COW INJURES FARMER WITH AXE

NEW VACCINE MAY CONTAIN RABIES

KICKING BABY CONSIDERED TO BE HEALTHY

FLAMING TOILET SEAT CAUSES EVACUATION AT HIGH SCHOOL

KIDS MAKE NUTRITIOUS SNACKS

PROSTITUTES APPEAL TO POPE

In Closing

I leave you with the farewell that my ninth grade Social Studies teacher gave us on the last day of school:

May you always have clean knickers to wear and warm, dry socks.

…Best advice I’ve ever gotten, right there.

Nothing worse than soggy socks and dirty undies.