Hi! Welcome to CrazyTwin Productions! All my other workers are busy at the moment, so I, the director, will be your tour guide today. Aren't you a lucky duck! If you see a hunk of coal or limestone driving a tour-shuttle around, don't be alarmed: they're just hard working sedimentary rocks, trying to make an honest, descent living. And if the blonde guy at the admissions desk tries to start up a conversation, please don't engage him. A final note before the tour begins, if a big pink salamander or a blue snake threaten you with whiffle bats, explosives or rocks, don't take it personally: they like to lord their security-personnel authority and influence over tourists. I've asked them to stop, but they don't always listen. If this bothers you, I'll have a word with them as fast as I can white them out. ;)

I'm Freida Right. I am an up-and-coming writer and cartoonist. If you will kindly take a look around, you will see that the entire staff is made up of my comic characters. (Amanda, you leave those poor people alone!) Although, my main goal in life is to become one of the best fantasy writers of the era. In order to do that, I suppose I should work on my spelling and grammar... and not repeating phrases I've already written. (Why are you stopping the shuttle, Limey? The spot where Joey attacked you with acid doesn't count as a place of interest on the tour! Get over it and keep the shuttle moving!)

Real Initials: E.M.R

Age: 19. 20, soon!

Eye Color: Blue

Hair Color: Brown (Although someone said that I should dye it purple or green. No way!)

Location: This wondrous land called emily'shead.com. Located somewhere on the east coast.

Special New Extras Bin: It occurs to me that Half of this profile is still exactly the same as it has been since middle school. Maybe I will change it soon...? Nah, I still find it amusing. Well, say for the "up-and-coming writer and cartoonist thing... I am done with chef school in September. And then... Feh, I dunno. Maybe writing/cartooning on the side until I hit the big one...?

I am now registered as a Beta, mostly for 9 and Final Fantasy IV, in case you can't tell from from repertoire. All books and cartoons welcome as well. No hardcore yuri, yaoi, explicit sex or pointless fluff, please. Other than that, welcome aboard! 8D

If you are here for the 9-fics, please be warned: when it comes to the twins, I write 4 as a girl, not a boy. I feel that it adds some dynamic and depth to characters who were left pretty static and flat, and makes it easier and more interesting not only to write about, but to read about, as well. I am also aware that, in reality, both the twins are boys; be aware, yourself, that 9 is not real at all. Also, I am not the only person in the fandom who feels this way about the twins, and I have actually found a little evidence from the movie to back our point up. That in mind, I'm not changing the way I write my fics; and, if you don't like it, you don't have to read it. You have now been warned. From now on, anyone who flames me about 4 will be blocked from my page.

That is all...

I dunno... More random 9-fics about the twins are probably on the way. The Other Eyes Saga will be complete by April, fo sho. AHMAGAHD, 7 is done, and 8 has been started! I may be done before February... but, given the catastrophe that Day's End turned out to be, that's a little too much optimism in one place for me...

I've started a short epic about 3, and it's called Prodigal. It's been reviewing and rating well, and the chapters are of a manageable size, AND I know pretty much exactly where it's going without making random stuff up as I go along. It also features a new baby--0--and another family of Stitchpunks on the other side of town.

When all that is done, I'd like to pick up all my FFIV stories where I left them all off senior year, when 9 wormed his way into my head and started whispering in my eardrum, "Write about me, Freida, WRITE ABOUT MEEEEE!!! 8D" Yeah... Anna Begins and Faraxhae Family Values both kinda fell by the wayside for my three-year-long 9 addiction. I think I can still salvage what became the wreckage of FFV, if I just try to pick up the pieces and make it better. It will probably come down for a while, but will be re-posted as being all bright and shiny and new and all holy-crap-I-know-where-the-hell-I'm-going-with-this-now. Both these epics are much closer to completion than I remembered. I should really get back to those... Soon. 0.o

Feh, I know that no one's reading this profile, or my stories. If someone is, please read and review, and give me SOMETHING to do!!! D:

My Stories--Only the important ones that you need to know.

Final Fantasy Four-and-a-Half: My first epic fic, done WAAAAY back in middle school, so it's kinda terrible but still a fun story. Cecil and Rosa have twin daughters named Angel and Sefi, and they go on adventures with grown-up Palom and Porom, and Edward's daughter Red. Their adventures take them to the top of Mount Ordeals, and deep below the sea; they make friends, achieve life-long goals, and make huge messes. It includes a prologue-fic called "Offbeat", but I don't like it.

Paladin Wars: the sequel to Final Fantasy Four-and-a-Half, also from middle school, and just as embarrassing to read. Features brainwashed, yellow-clad ninjas, evil bahamuts, love and death, and very cute Palom/Sefi. This story is a lot more exciting and original than its prequel; I'd like to turn the whole saga into something original one day.

Someone New to Love: my Edward fic; once again from middle school, but considering that the caliber is better than everything else from this era, I'm very proud of it. Edward's recovery in Troia leads him to a new love interest, who is featured quite often in the above stories. It also introduces Red in the epilogue. As you can see, these three fics go together as a whole saga.

Faraxhae Family Circus: much more recent, much better, very different. This one is all about Palom and Porom and their miniscule role in the game. Faraxhae is their surname. A lot more story than the game had, very endearing--it's a great "Awwww! Cute!" fic, but also very serious and down-to-business.

Faraxhae Family Values: another sequel, back by polled popular demand. 15 years later; Palom's got a girlfriend, Porom is as serious as ever, and now one of them (-cough-Porom-cough-) has to become the elder. This one is a big disappointment to me--it's a major fallback to my sloppy middle school days. I'm planning to take it down and totally revamp it. It's mostly about Porom; Palom has kinda become a secondary character. Now sure how or when that happened... That will be fixed in the revamp.

Anna Begins: I've always been curious about Anna. She was Tellah's kid, after all--surely she was heroically well-adjusted and more than a little rebellious. This one is about her brief but exciting life--her home town of Kaipo, her boarding school days in Baron, deep romance with a certain spoony bard, etc. Will be completed... some day... Overlaps with FFC. These three also form a saga I'm working on about the Faraxhae family as a whole--I'm calling it "The Faraxhae Chronicles". One day it will include a story for Tellah, his sister, Mira (the twin's mom), the Elder, Raidon (their brother), their parents, and their anscestor, Sarid. But that day is waaaaay off. -.-0

A Meeting With the King: another FFIV oneshot, about the king of Baron. It's short and sweet, and fairly nondescript; but it features Cecil, Rosa and Kain in one place, and sheds some light on the king they all thought they were serving. I'm also very proud of this one--I feel that was very well done.

Where The Wild Things Are: for 9. For this one, you have to assume that all nine stitchpunks are alive, and are actually in a universe parallel to the movie: a universe known as my grandmother's house. Here, they ruin my life and the life of my little cousin as we try to spend a month with our cranky old grandparents. Their antics are no different, except you finally get to see all nine of them forced to live together in a dark closet. XD NO yaoi or yuri. Sorry.

7 Song: my only real poem-fic. It's all from 7's POV, and she's yelling at 1. (The jerk...) It's got an actual tune; I wish I could publish a small score or a midi on the site so your could hear it. It's really pretty.

The Other Eyes Saga: a series of oneshots I've been doing for 9. It involves pairing each of the Stitchpunks with a relevant scene from the movie and then re-writing the scene from their POVs. Like all by best fics, they tell a much more interesting story than the movie had time to tell. Will be done soon.

The Unrhyming Alphabet of Obscurities: my three favorite fantasy series--none of which anyone else knows of--in an alphabet. It's actually inspired one or two people. Let's see if I can continue to spread the love and boost the sales of these fabulous books! XD

OMG, this is hilarious... If you've read these books.

List twelve characters, in no particular order. (I shall use characters from books I read in AP English III and IV.)

1. Tess Durberyfeild (Tess of the D’urberviles)
2. Angel Claire (Tess of the D’urberviles)
3. Alex D’uberville (Tess of the D’urberviles)
4. Heathcliff (WutheringHeights)
5. Cathy Earnshaw (WutheringHeights)
6. Isabella Linton (WutheringHeights)
7. Bernard Marx (Brave New World)
8. Lenina Crowne (Brave New World)
9. John Savage (Brave New World)
10. Nick Caraway (The Great Gatsby)
11. Jay Gatsby (The Great Gatsby)
12. Daisy Buchanan (The Great Gatsby)

1. Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fic?

Isabella/Jay? Nope, and I’m willing to bet that it doesn’t exist. But it might work out…

2. Do you think Four is hot? How hot?

Hale yes! No one does brooding angst like Heathcliff! XD

3. What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?

…Girls can’t get girls pregnant... -_-0

4. Can you recall any fics about Nine?

There was this one that I was planning in my head once upon a time; John was my favorite.

5. Would Two and Six make a good couple?

Alex/Isabella. Um… Maybe, actually… o.O

6. Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Why?

I’d have to go with Cathy/Nick. John wouldn’t STAND Cathy; but she’d love New York in the 20’s. She and Nick might get along okay for a while…

7. What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex?

Bernard walks in on Angel and Daisy doing it. He’d either scream, “I’m telling Tess and Tom!!!!” or, “Holy crap! This is SOOO not my book!!!!”

8. Make up a summary for a Three/Ten fic.

“Tess/Great Gatsby xover. Alex is drunk and tries to come onto Nick. Daisy thinks it adorable; Tess is disgusted. However will poor Nick get out of this one??”

9. Is there any such thing as One/Eight fluff?

Tess/Lenina. No, thank God.

10. Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort fic.

For Bernard/Daisy. “We May Be Alone, but We have Each Other”

11. Does anyone on your friends list read Three het?

What’s het? Whatever it is, all my friends hated Tess, so I’m gonna guess no.

12. Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven?

Jay Gatsby? Probably not.

13. Would anyone on your friends list write Two/Four/Five?

Angel/Heathcliff/Cathy? I hope not. Heathcliff would beat the holy living snot out of Angel.

14. If you wrote a Song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose?

For Lenina: “Obsession”, by Abba. (I think it was Abba…)

15. If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?

Tess/Isabella/Daisy. Warning: classical lit. xovers. Girl-on-girl-on-girl, if you can believe I'm writing it. n.n

16. When was the last time you read a fic about Five?

Sort of back in winter, when DragonSaphhira and I had to write something about Heathcliff for a project grade. Cathy was mentioned, but it wasn’t really about her, per se…

17. "(1) and (4) are in a happy relationship until (9) runs off with (4). (1), brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with (11) and a brief unhappy affair with (12), then follows the wise advice of (5) and finds true love with (3). "

Tess and Heathcliff are in a happy relationship until John runs off with Heathcliff. Tess, brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with Jay and a brief unhappy affair with Daisy, then follows the wise advise of Cathy and finds true love with Alex.

THAT needs a commentary…

Tess and Heathcliff are in a happy relationship (that could work…) until John runs off with Heathcliff (WTF?!). Tess, brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with Jay (oh right, like that could ever happen.) and a brief unhappy affair with Daisy (Jay’s gonna kill one or other of them…), then follows the wise advise of Cathy (since when was she wise??) and finds true love with Alex. (AGAIN??! You’d think a girl would learn!! DX)

What title would you give this fic?

“WTF?! This isn’t my book!!”

And now, some of these things, many of them 9-related:

If you think "Y-you dropped this," "Where have you been hiding?" are just another way to say, "I-I love you." "I love you too." copy and paste this to your profile.

If you wish to find a raindrop with tiny little green fragments of soul in it, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you know that it was all an accident, and 9 is a really sweet guy, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you know that 7 was really heartbroken when she thought 9 was crushed to death, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If 6 is one of your favorite stitchpunks from the movie '9', copy and paste this onto your profile.

6 said the pen is mightier than the sword. 7 replied that that isn't true unless you can beat your enemies by drawing mustaches on them. If you know who 6 and 7 are, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think 4 could be a girl, copy and paste this onto your profile, and STOP FLAMING ME!

If your major lies outside of creative writing or classical art, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If these ARE the droids you are looking for, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think the Rowan of Rin fandom was entirely TOO LONG overdue, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you know a guy or a girl who is SO white they should be called "Marshmallow", copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're saved and you know it, clap your hands... Then copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are still wondering where the Flair app on Facebook went, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you're a girl gamer or a Bionicle fangirl, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you get a chain message in your email that says you're going to hell if you don't forward it to at least 50 people in half an hour, and DON'T forward it for being so rude, copy and paste this into your profile.

If Ash and Brock should tell Dawn and May to HIT THE ROAD and ask Misty to come back, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you go crazy whenever you hear "Final Fantasy" or hear Final Fantasy music, copy and paste this to your profile

And thus concludes our tour of my production studio. Thanks for coming and have a nice day! If the red-head at the customer service desk is painting her nails and talking on the phone again, feel free to smack her and order her to get back to work, very much in the fashion of an evil overlord. Throw your trash in a garbage can, please; my only two janitors are a couple of tree-frogs and they work very hard to keep this studio clean. Oh, don't mind those black footprints on the floor: Coal's just been here, that's all. (Unless Benny fell asleep at the admissions desk again; then I'd advise you to watch your backs for a while...) The exit is behind you, and the gift shop is to your immediate left... Nagaina, these are paying customers; don't hurt them, or they'll sue me. And you don't want that...

Do you?!