Updated: 10/25

Okay, I admit it. I've been a bad, bad person. No updates. No status changes. Nothing. It's 4am local crapspace time so I'll keep my excuses simple. World of Warcraft made me do it. With that out of the way, i would like to make amends and advise that I have worked up the gumption to plunk some words into HiaMA, for which you will find a snippet below. I've also been contemplating an Ranma-SG1/Atlantis xover, but that's another story. Hopefully I have not overly disrupted your literary consumption with my absence, and I'll try to update at best possible speed :)

xxxXXXxxx

Floating.

He was floating on the wind and the chi as it swirled around him, buffeted by the eddies and currents of the tornado he himself had initiated. It would have been a thrilling ride , save the fact he was here to do a job. Hild had been right. He had taken Saffron too lightly, but what could he do? The great almighty leader of the Phoenix was little more than a child…

…And now that child was an adult of monstrous power; power enough to where there was no longer any room to entertain the possibility of beating him into submission. Hild had been right. The only thing the brat understood was brute force and now that he was an adult, there was nothing stopping the martial artist from committing to her advice in full. He had given Saffron his out. Instead the bastard had taken his own and used them as pawns… Hostages. He wasn't a child any more and now it was time.

It was time for Saffron to die.

He had wrestled with the decision briefly, debating over the moral dogma of taking another life. But again, Hild-san's words rang true. Leaving Saffron alive, even if there had been a comfortable margin to do so, would do little more than leave another powerful enemy at his back. It wasn't something he would look forward to, but damned if he would leave the bird king alive to take another shot at him and the others some time down the road.

The tornado did its job and surprise had been total, allowing him the cover to ascend to height and take the opportunity he needed. Ranma descended out of the swirling vapor with the Gekkaja already on its down stroke, leaving the king barely enough time to parry the strike meant for his head. The deflecting arm turned to solid ice instantly, along with a good portion of his upper right torso, tearing away along with his right wing. Either way, it merely inconvenienced his opponent, who had caught the Kinjakan in the passing tempest to reengage the martial artist while his limbs regenerated.

Saffron's fire returned and Ranma was all but bathed within, narrowly cheating death time and time again as the bird king's attacks grew hotter and hotter. The king had power to spare. He could regenerate limbs at will. He could fly. And through it all, Ranma knew he was losing; buying time until he could retake the advantage.

"…There may come a day when there are no good choices left. You are buying time in the hope a more opportune position will avail itself to you..."

The words floated through the maelstrom as Ranma used upturned fragment of earth as makeshift bludgeons and shielding until he could maneuver into melee range. A solid blow. Two. The Phoenix King was weak when it came to those, but his innate regeneration more than made up for the disadvantage. Another blow. More fire in return.

Only one thing was going to kill this bastard. A tornado of ice straight through his heart. All he needed was one good shot. One reference point through the firestorm and--

What?! Akane!

She lanced through the fireball, boiling ice away from her body until he could see Saffron's face.

It was all Ranma needed.

Ranma's arm spiraled and he dug hard into the elemental catalyst, winding the modified Hiryu Shoten Ha as tight as physically possible before releasing it deep into the Phoenix King's chest. Ranma would remember the look on the surprised Phoenix Kings face until his dying day as they both fell to Earth. But there was Akane…

Akane!

Ranma.

Akane!

Ranma!

Ak--

RANMA!

The pig tailed boy jerked up suddenly, his head swiveling left and right. He was no longer falling to the earth, nor was Akane a magically dehydrated doll. She was sitting in the desk next to him, in fact, staring at him as was the rest of the class an one perturbed Hinako Ninomiya, tapping her currently preteen foot impatiently.

"Buckets, Saotome!" She pointed, causing Ranma to sigh. The martial artist slid out from the chair, more than happy to take the buckets to the dream. Akane simply rolled her eyes but held the 'baka' that was all but ready to slip off her tongue. Instead she watched as her fiancée exited the class room less the cloak of smugness he usually wore.

The door closed. Akane worried.

oooOOOooo

"I let her in Hild-dono," the pale demon-slash-receptionist motioned to Hild's own office door, which remained cracked open to indicate the entry.

Hild glanced at the ashen door and nodded gravely. "Thank you, Amanda. Short of the sudden outbreak of Ragnarok, we are not to be disturbed."

"Of course, Daimakaichō,"

With her orders given, Hild turned to the door and pushed it open gently to reveal her office in its usual opulence. Nearly everything was the way she had left it save three things. First, the curtain was open, folded aside to reveal the view of the Nifelheim cityscape in all its grandeur. That in and of itself was far from unusual, though she had ensured their closure before leaving earlier this morning. Second was the singular book missing from the second bookshelf left of her desk. As her sometimes second home for the last half of eternity, details like that stuck out like a sore thumb, which in turn led the Grand Demoness' final observation, one petite redhead curled up on the black leather of her office sofa reading said book.

Hild fought the fond smile from her face and instead put a single index finger to her chin, musing aloud. "Jusenkyo type curses are actually in volume six, Ranma-chan dear."

Ranma Saotome blinked. The woman had entered the office so softly that absolutely none of her senses had been triggered. Of course, it had been Hild, and it was her office anyway, but it only confirmed the redhead's estimate of her ability. Ranma looked at her, then the book with a shrug. "Had ta start somewhere and I was bored."

Hild chuckled slightly. "The Curses and Hexes Compendium is hardly light reading."

"Figure I got enough of those hangin' around me somehow," Again the shrug, this time delivered with an uncaring expression. "Might as well get to know a bit about em.'"

Ranma went back to the book and Hild frowned visibly this time. It was obvious. So painfully obvious, and she sat down next to the martial artist, sidling up next to her. Crystal blue eyes held her and a millenia's worth of experience reading emotions told the Daimakaichō everything she needed to know. Hild brushed a red lock from the girl's eyes and shook her head.

"I'm sorry I couldn't be there, Ranma-chan," She sighed. "I'm in a somewhat… difficult position."

"Sure, you got hell to run," Ranma put her best nonchalant front forward. "Not like you can come runnin' everytime a--"

The purple eyed woman put a finger to the redhead's lips, shushing her gently. "If only it were that easy, child, if only. For all the power I wield, Ranma-chan, I am too powerful to descend into the affairs of mortals unless specific circumstances are met. Saffron is little more than dust compared to that power, and yet…"

Ranma tilted her head, forgetting the book for a moment. "Really?"

"Indeed," Hild confirmed. "In fact there are specific prohibitions against my direct interference. To even descend in to the mortal realm, I must have these on me at all times."

"Jewelry," Ranma stated, noting the bangles and earrings the woman was pointing out without understanding the significance.

"Limiters. Power limiters," Hild explained. "My child has a bracelet. Maybe an earring at most. Her sister one or two more as accorded to her stature. My garb is literally cloaked in them as you can see."

Ranma could see. And she could remember her outings with Hild in the past. Necklaces. Ankle bracelets. wrist bangles. Rings. She turned a critical eye toward the white layers of hair. "Even the braid?"

"Even the braid," Hild confirmed solemnly. "If one looked at it from a martial arts stand point, it would be like somebody of your caliber challenging a crippled puppy to a duel."

Ranma winced with the example, though it served to drive the point home with absolute clarity. She continued and the very air around her darkened as she did so. "That said, had he hurt you, I would find some way to ensure that he and his tribe would regret the act for a very, very long time.

The statement itself brought the redhead up short more than the darkening aura around the grand demoness herself, and Ranma was absolutely sure she would carry out that threat to the fullest extent of her formidable abilities. It invoked a feeling she hadn't felt in all the the ten years worth of training with her old man and found it completely lacking in the subsequent year and change with the Tendos. Even having met her own mother, there was still that ill defined void, but with Hild here and now... ...It felt nice.

"Not that I'd bother ya for a wimp like Saffron," Ranma inserted with bravado in lieu of an easily expressed emotion. "Overgrown bird boy had that ass kickin' coming."

"And I watched the entire thing," Hild's mood relented and the black aura evaporated as she patted the pleased girl on the head. "Nor did I doubt the outcome for a moment. Any mortal that could defeat my Urd would require substantially more skill than that hatchling displayed to even begin worrying me."

Ranma positively glowed with the praise now and the demoness lifted herself from the leather sofa, pulling the girl's book away with the movement. "I say we do something to get your mind off the troublesome happenings of late." She reshelved the obvious indicator of Ranma's former depression and turned back to the redhead with an easy grin. "In fact, I have just the thing."

"What's that?" Ranma hopped off the sofa with new found anticipation. Hild's grin widened. "Let's go play with the Norns."

xxxXXXxxx

Standing Author material

Rules of Fanfiction Failure -- Rules 1-10, how not to fail at writing fanfiction. I didn't care enough to edit grammar and spelling, so forgive me :p

Fanfiction Failure Metarule #1-- Readers will absolute love a completed work but will invariably pick apart and inadvertently attempt to destroy it if given a hand in its creation. Be especially wary of open forums in this regard. Either have a healthy self image or screen your pre-readers carefully to avoid this failure.

Fanfiction Failure Metarule #2-- The phrase "...that's just another excuse to (plot device)." indicates you are dealing with a person of below average insight as to how fiction is written. These people should not be allowed to influence your work in any way because everything is a means to an end and is therefore "an excuse" to achieve that end. For example; "...(plot device) is just another excuse to lock Ranma as a girl." This is an empty statement attempting to hide behind factual expertise; a bludgeon used by particular readers that don't get their way or don't approve of your plot. It contains no value beyond personal opinion and should therefor be treated as such.

Fanfiction Failure Metarule #3-- There is no impossible in fanfiction. Every once in a while you'll run into that anal retentive plot nazi that will say it simply can't be done like that. It doesn't matter what 'that' is because 'it' simply can't be done and they are, of course, the foremost authority on such matters. Normally this advisement is made by people that don't know they're closet creativity thieves; people who don't realize that their favorite series usually has either plot holes you can drive a death star through or that same series has Lucky God martial Artists, Flying airships, and springs of drowned Asura-zebra-octopi-phoenix-yeti-bulls. Sadly, their disagreements usual come down to little more than opinion of what is in reality- say it with me -magical bullshit. As such, these people should be given as little creative share in your work as possible. All that said, there is a difference between the broken ideology of "can't be done" and the more realistic "shouldn't be done". Consult the Rules of Fanfiction Failure for a head start on those.

Fanfiction Failure Metarule #4-- "It's been done before!" is never an excuse not to do it again. Some of the best works you will ever read in fanfiction "have been done before" and it's still amazing how these will be the first words out of reader's mouths when running an idea past them- even though they absolutely HAVE to know somewhere in the back of their mind that this is an empty statement, because half the fics they enjoy "have been done before". Don't take this one personally. It's reflex. Smile, nod and continue writing anyway with Rule of Fanfiction Failure #8 somewhere in the back of your mind.

Hey, if you'd been listening you'd know that Nintendos pass through everything."
-Col. Jack O'Neill, SG1