061608: I'm no longer accepting any more beta requests. I'm currently juggling three people, plus one on hiatus. If a spot opens up, I'll start accepting requests again.

Relationship between number of fanfictions per obsession and length/severity of corresponding obsession is not linear.

Besides writing, in my spare time I like to sculpt like an amateur, rack up cell phone bills with PixFlix, and thump volleyballs up and down the stairs to annoy neighbors. I play violin (current piece: La Folia!) and used to play piano (last piece: Fugue I by Bach, from The Well-Tempered Clavier.) I also own an acoustic guitar that I've never actually touched.

I adore crack pairings in categories that have a huge number of characters, but also enjoy well-written canon or near-canon pairings.

I shall forever be obsessed with shonen animes with exaggerated, long, drawn-out strategy fights and soppy cliches (cases in point: Yu-Gi-Oh, Pokemon, and Naruto, but only Naruto does the cliches soppily enough for my liking.) The rest of my obsessions are scattered and impossible to predict.

I write extremely slowly, but I'm always writing.

Email: the.slut.with.a.pen@gmail.com

LJ: http://alpha-aquarii.livejournal.com/

Universal disclaimer: All characters belong to their respective owners unless stated otherwise. No profit is made from this fanfiction, and no copyright infringement is intended.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

1. An Impromptu Manicure reviews

While in the middle of important self-grooming, Opal breaks the sad but final news to Scant Brill—although to say it is sad is a lie and to say it is final is immediately contradicted by Opal herself. OpalxDescant. Spoilers for The Time Paradox.

Complete - Artemis fowl - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,434 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 7-17-08 - Published: 7-17-08

2. So Let's Make It Two reviews

Kabuto is surprised to find how much the Uchiha vessel affects things like his perspectives. //Four times he’s changed.//

Complete - Naruto - Fiction Rated: T - English - General/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,114 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 2-29-08 - Published: 2-29-08

3. Folded Flowers reviews

Ino is a stargazer and a whisper/shouter and knows that people alone can give other people wings. Something in her realizes he will come. NejixIno. Oneshot.

Complete - Naruto - Fiction Rated: K - English - Spiritual/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 913 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 1-30-08 - Published: 1-30-08

4. It Buries Us reviews

Candy canes always taste fresher when they are given to you by someone else. Oneshot.

Complete - Grim and Evil - Fiction Rated: K - English - General/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,225 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 12-25-07 - Published: 12-25-07

5. Quirky reviews

Hatake Kakashi has a conversation with Yamanaka Ino. Oneshot.

Complete - Naruto - Fiction Rated: T - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,139 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 12-21-07 - Published: 12-21-07

6. Her Dreams and Fears reviews

It wasn’t the life she had hoped for, but it wasn’t so unbearable. Until Mandy came. MandyxMindy. Oneshot.

Complete - Grim and Evil - Fiction Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,099 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 10-17-07 - Published: 10-17-07

7. what is beautiful reviews

The things that intrigue us can change from peaceful to terrorizing in an instant. NettoxIris, oneshot. [Animeverse]

Complete - Rockman.exe - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,325 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 9-6-07 - Published: 9-6-07

8. With No Egress reviews

Her heart is a maze, with all of the exits twisted at the edges into distortion. SasukexSakura, NarutoxSakura. Oneshot.

Complete - Naruto - Fiction Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 468 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 8-21-07 - Published: 8-21-07

9. Gradient reviews

Grim takes Mandy out to celebrate the Fourth of July the traditional way. They're in for an experience. Oneshot, implied GrimxMandy.

Complete - Grim and Evil - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,237 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 7-4-07 - Published: 7-4-07

10. The Fall reviews

TIME HAS COME. Drabble.

Complete - Grim and Evil - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 142 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 6-28-07 - Published: 6-28-07

11. They Said To Burn reviews

But they were all liars who spewed lies, because Hell was nothing like it seemed. Oneshot.

Complete - Grim and Evil - Fiction Rated: T - English - Angst/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 334 - Reviews: 8 - Updated: 6-24-07 - Published: 6-24-07

12. Valentines Ed Incubi » reviews

A collection of oneshots featuring Death, Evil, Chaos, and a good dose of love and thoughts on Valentine's Day. Be sure to read one on your coffee break. Includes multiple pairings.

Grim and Evil - Fiction Rated: T - English - General/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 7,336 - Reviews: 9 - Updated: 6-2-07 - Published: 4-27-07

13. Clocks reviews

Some things just keep ticking until the end. Oneshot, apocalyptic.

Complete - Grim and Evil - Fiction Rated: T - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,438 - Reviews: 9 - Updated: 3-31-07 - Published: 3-31-07

14. Messages reviews

Have you ever been called by someone you abandoned long ago to be consumed, who now shows you just how much has happened in your absence? It brings tears and wishes, my friend, tears and wishes. Oneshot.

Complete - Grim and Evil - Fiction Rated: T - English - Angst/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 728 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 3-25-07 - Published: 3-25-07

15. Cogito Ergo Sum » reviews

A drabble a day keeps writer's block away. A complete collection of various nonlinked drabbles including: too many pronouns, angst, clichéd and original ideas alike, and slash, het, and femmeslash pairings.

Complete - Grim and Evil - Fiction Rated: T - English - General/Romance - Chapters: 30 - Words: 4,551 - Reviews: 61 - Updated: 3-25-07 - Published: 2-23-07

16. Dearly Departed reviews

From a distance she saw the tall, thin figures clad in black and crowded around a casket crying just for show. Everyone had known her first kiss would be in a graveyard. GrimxMandy. Oneshot.

Complete - Grim and Evil - Fiction Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,579 - Reviews: 12 - Updated: 3-7-07 - Published: 3-7-07

17. 101 Deaths of Minerva Paradizo » reviews

Mary Sues, tell me who hasn't had these very same fantasies? Diverse pairings, diverse settings and diverse obituaries. A collection of oneshots. Everyone has their guilty pleasures...

Artemis fowl - Fiction Rated: T - English - Humor/Tragedy - Chapters: 8 - Words: 13,656 - Reviews: 69 - Updated: 2-18-07 - Published: 9-24-06

18. Monochromatic reviews

It was a game of chess, true, but the stakes were suitably higher. Because, as you see, when you play with Death, you play with Lives... Oneshot. Implied BillyMandy.

Complete - Grim and Evil - Fiction Rated: T - English - Suspense/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,543 - Reviews: 9 - Updated: 2-7-07 - Published: 2-7-07

19. Willow reviews

Another day after school, another meeting with the willow tree. He's really nothing but her pawn, after all. Oneshot JuniorxMandy.

Complete - Grim and Evil - Fiction Rated: T - English - General/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 816 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 2-2-07 - Published: 2-2-07

20. Parallax Lips reviews

Mandy's eleventh birthday and she's in for a surprise from Billy and Grim. She may not approve, but one thing inconspicuously leads to another, and she will be shocked a second time soon enough. Surprise pairing, Mandy x ? Oneshot.

Complete - Grim and Evil - Fiction Rated: T - English - General/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,702 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 1-30-07 - Published: 1-30-07

21. Cloudburst

[The Earthquake Bird by Susanna Jones] Teiji has something he wants to give Lucy. One last memory he doesn't need to keep. Oneshot, vague LucyTeiji.

Complete - Misc. Books - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - General/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,138 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 1-26-07 - Published: 1-26-07

22. Bah Humbug reviews

Ebenezer Scrooge had it right. Oneshot.

Complete - Grim and Evil - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 543 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 12-26-06 - Published: 12-26-06

23. The Reluctant Christmas reviews

Billy decides that this year, he and Grim will make Mandy believe in the Christmas spirit. And if that involves them buying her a huge present from the Underworld Mall and decorating his house all over with tinsel and Christmas lights, so be it. Oneshot.

Complete - Grim and Evil - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - General/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,326 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 12-23-06 - Published: 12-23-06

24. Winter's Allure reviews

Snow, two best friends, and an entire afternoon laid out at their feet. It couldn't have been more perfect, typical, beautiful. Oneshot.

Complete - Darren Shan Saga - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 616 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 12-18-06 - Published: 12-18-06

25. I'd Love To Fly

[Miss Misery by Andy Greenwald] Parties. Vodka. Sexy girls, and ohsosexy drugs. It was all supposed to make you numb and unfeeling, right? Wrong, as David Gould 2.0 finds out. Oneshot.

Complete - Misc. Books - Fiction Rated: T - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,801 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 12-1-06 - Published: 12-1-06

26. Mandy's Revenge reviews

What does Mandy need revenge for? Wait, there doesn't have to be a reason with her. Just another night of torturing innocents into another dimension...Oneshot. Plain and nothing out of the ordinary.

Complete - Grim and Evil - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,265 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 9-25-06 - Published: 9-25-06

27. Armageddon Fireworks reviews

Armegeddon: 1. The scene of a final battle between the forces of good and evil, prophesied to occur at the end of the world. 2. A decisive or catastrophic conflict. Oneshot

Complete - Artemis fowl - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,190 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 7-4-06 - Published: 7-4-06

28. Switched: Part 2 » reviews

The sequel to Switched. Artemis and Holly have gotten their revenge on Foaly, now watch as it's his and Root's turn to suffer! COMPLETED

Complete - Artemis fowl - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 15,811 - Reviews: 31 - Updated: 5-28-06 - Published: 2-3-06

29. The Nameless Story About Pie, Peacocks, and Hermes reviews

My version of how the peacock came to be. Starring Zeus Junior the cow, Argus the many eyed monster, and lots of pie! You know you want to read it.

Complete - Greek Mythology - Fiction Rated: K - English - Humor/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 528 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 5-9-06 - Published: 5-9-06

30. Happy Birthday? reviews

It's Jack's birthday and he finds himself feeling rather lonely. So, naturally, he's shocked when who else but the Dragon of Fire gives him a special gift. Oneshot kinda Jackkim but kinda not. Bad summary.

Complete - Xiaolin Showdown - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,990 - Reviews: 20 - Updated: 1-30-06 - Published: 1-30-06

31. Switched » reviews

Holly and Artemis have switched bodies due to an experiment gone horribly wrong. What could happen? NOT an ArtemisHolly! COMPLETED

Complete - Artemis fowl - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor/General - Chapters: 7 - Words: 13,357 - Reviews: 67 - Updated: 1-20-06 - Published: 10-23-05

32. Prisoner of Your Own Home » reviews

Oh no... Holly's being asked to house Chix Verbil! How will she survive? COMPLETED!

Complete - Artemis fowl - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - General/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,894 - Reviews: 22 - Updated: 12-17-05 - Published: 10-9-05

33. Snowball Fight reviews

On a chilly winter day, it begins to snow and the dragons go out to have a snowball fight. What happens when Jack comes but just wants to play with them? Jackkim oneshot, read if you liked my other ones.

Complete - Xiaolin Showdown - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,703 - Reviews: 17 - Updated: 12-3-05 - Published: 12-3-05

34. What Could Have Been reviews

Jack takes Kimiko out to watch fireworks. Jackkim friendship, slight romance. Oneshot.

Complete - Xiaolin Showdown - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Romance/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,196 - Reviews: 15 - Updated: 11-12-05 - Published: 11-12-05

35. Unexpected reviews

Jack Spicer and Kimiko Tohomiko. Two very different people. So what happens when Jack saves Kimiko's life? Oneshot Jackkim obviously

Complete - Xiaolin Showdown - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Romance/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,070 - Reviews: 33 - Updated: 11-12-05 - Published: 11-12-05

36. I Will Miss You reviews

Four words. But they're all it takes to give Jack second thoughts on killing himself. Oneshot Jackley, rated for attempted suicide

Complete - Xiaolin Showdown - Fiction Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,494 - Reviews: 12 - Updated: 11-6-05 - Published: 11-6-05