How do, y'all. I'm officially finished posting anything on The Pit. I am here to enjoy fanfiction, give constructive criticism when needed, and instigate flame wars if necessary. I am also going to humiliate anyone that fucks with me. As I have pulled all of my stories, I have absolutely nothing to lose. So! Instead of cutesy copypasta and links to my favorite avatar sites, I will post the very best of those that wish to start shit with me. And these copypastaed PM's aren't coming down, either. Choose your words wisely, tread lightly, and don't do what the following assholes have tried to do. Locking horns with me is a very bad idea, sincerely.

Observe.

LULZ #1: harreputtergrl123 This troglodyte's PM's to me deserve a dramatic reading. For REAL.

ME: A response to your review at http://www.fanfiction.net/r/xxxxxxxxxx

Thanks ever so kindly for proving my point. Do yourself a favor and die in a fire. Later!

harreputtergrl123 : FUC U!!!!!!!!!!11!!1!!1!!!!!1!1!!!1!1

ME: Charming. Please do continue to send me this drivel. Now THIS is amusing. BAI BAI!

harreputtergrl123 : u vil nvr gt mared1

ME: Heaven forbid I get mared. That sounds painful. Are you writing in code, or something?

harreputtergrl123 : im nt riting een a code!!!1!
nd i wuz seyind dat u vill nvr hv a hsband!!111
u relly hv 2 lern hw 2 spek inglish b4 joind fenfeection.

ME: PFFT. I had my suspicions about your troll-ness earlier. Now I KNOW you're a troll. 'Fanfeection', LAWL. I'm not telling you to stop trolling - you brain-dead summertards are, if anything, single-minded. I can dig it, actually. All I'm saying is you're not a particularly good troll. You need to try harder at trolling...so, yeah. Work on that.

Have a blast finding my stories on my sockpuppet account here. It'll be fun, like an Easter-egg hunt! If you find them, you can revenge-flame them to your heart's content!

Bai! XD

harreputtergrl123 : go 2 hel!
yer jst dat ai m a bttr riter dan u!!!!!!!!!!!!! (ME-ASIDE: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA)
nd vat ees a sockpuppet account//////////////spk eengleesh pruperrly111

ME: Boo-hoo. You wound me. I'm gonna go cry to my 'hsband'. XD You're not fooling anyone here. Keep trying...keep trying. You'll learn how to troll eventually. Go write some more superior 'fanfeection'. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Buh-bai, Sweetie-Pie! :D

harreputtergrl123 : ai hv a vry hut boifrend hu hz 8 pac abs nd i vill gt marred 2 heem een a feew yrs!!11!1!nd im vry preety 2 im 1 uf da mst pooolar grls een skool!!1!1111!!!EVRY1 VANTS 2 SAG MI!!!!11!1
U R JST N UGLEE STOOOPID TRULL HOO LEEVES UNDR A BRDGE ND EES A LUZR HOO DUSNT HV ANEE FRENDS UR A BUYFRENNND!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!111U VILL ALWAIS STY SEENGEL!!!1111
u dunt evin no hw 2 speek eengleesh pruperly!!!!!!!!111
eef u r nice 2 mi i mite lt yu be mi maed.

Love,

Rachel XXXXXX (ME-ASIDE: She used her real name, sincerely. I'm not going to be a total dick and leave it up here permanently...her full name, I mean.)
Your future boss

ME: You...do know that every single PM I get from you is going to be posted on my FFN profile page? You are providing me with countless lulz. I want the rest of the site to enjoy your brand of stupid, too.

Love,

Pen-Versus-Sword
The chick smart enough NOT to use her real name on the Internet
AND the chick that loves baiting wannabe trolls

A CHALLENGER APPEARS

SnitchEye24 : Hello!I am Rachel XXXXXX's cousin.
I have to ask you to remove Rachel's name from your profile.I wrote it.I had the sudden urge to.The bitch came to my house and stole my computer!No one touches my computer!
She has been howling for the past ten minutes now.She doesn't want to ruin her 'popular image' by being on fanfiction.She thinks that she soon will be as infamous as Tara Gilesbie and Jo Belle Walker.which she most probably will.
If you don't remove her name from your profile,I will be grounded for a week.(Yes,she complained about me to my mother even though she's a year older than me.)
Thank you

ME: No.

I will not. You and your cousin have inconvenienced me. I am an adult, and I have learned that the adult world is a sorry, shitty place. Time for you and your cousin to learn that lesson yourselves:

You want to dance, you have to pay the piper. Enjoy the adult world, and your punishment.

Later.

And the original:

harreputtergrl123 : You want me type properly?Fine i will.Please don t post my name online.My friends might names on fan fiction and will chuck me out of their group(as i said i am very popular)i don t want 2 be a dork writing fan fiction.and if my name is posted online sum1 might want 2 kill me.i just created this account 2 piss my cousin off.
u see,when i was in the bathroom i left my account open and my cousin wrote something.i ll post at least 10 good guest reviews on your account.i m gonna continue writing my story b cos it is fun
id really appreciate it if you did not post my name.Thank you.

And yup,i m trolling. (ME-ASIDE: You don't say.)

ME: Now you realize it was a mistake tangling with a complete stranger. Now you want me to stop, because it's on your terms and not mine. Absolutely not.

You want me to stop now that you have been inconvenienced by your own foolish, foolish mistake - and let me tell you, little girl, that really WAS a grave mistake, offering me your real name. How fucking stupid are you, little girl? How on this green earth did you know whether I was a crazy fucker willing to find you and slaughter your stupid ass? And you can suck your ten good reviews out of my butt. I had ten times that many, before I moved my stories. I don't need your reviews, as I decided to move my stories off site. Thanks a million, by the way, for posting that permanent revenge review on my newest fic. You twit. Permanent revenge reviews are too difficult to take off stories on FFNet for me to inconvenience myself with trying.

I despise people like you - bored, stupid, and wanting a bit of fun at someone else's expense. News flash - I knew what you were on about the second I read the shit you posted. I AM a troll, and I can smell my kind a hundred miles away. As poor a troll as you were, I knew it immediately. Let this be your lesson not to fuck with your betters. Like I've mentioned, I give less than a shit about you trolling. Have at it. But when you personally fuck with another author or their stories on site, you look the idiot if you don't expect retribution in some way.

If it makes you feel better, your name is pretty common. There must be thousands of people with your name in the United States alone. But, now you have to pay the price. You'd better get used to your lame attempt at trolling headlining my profile page, because that's where it's staying. Permanently. And now the lesson begins.

Oh, and your cousin told me you were bawling because you don't want to look like a tool posting fanfiction because you don't want to lose your 'popularity'.

Cry some more.

And there you have it. I'm done with this one, bring on some fresh meat!