Things I'm not allowed to do at Hogwarts

1) Seamus Finnigan is not after my lucky charms

2) I do not weigh the same as a duck. Nor should I try to act like one.

3) "I've heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge.

4) I will not sing "we're off to see the wizard" when sent to the Headmaster's office.

5) I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class

6) I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss

7) Professor Flitwick's first name is not Yoda

8 ) Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar

9) First years are not allowed to be fed to Fluffy

10) I will not make any jokes about Lupin and his "time of the month"

11) I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals

12) I will not sing the Badger Song during Hufflepuff-Slytherin quidditch matches

13) The Giant Squid is not an approriate date to the Yule Ball

14) When Death-Eaters are attacking Hogsmeade, I shall not point at the Dark Mark and shout "To the Bat Moblie, Robin!"

15) When a class-mate falls asleep, I shall not take advantage of the fact and draw a Dark Mark on his arm.

16) It's not necessary for me to yell "BURN!" every time Snape takes house points from Gryffindor

17) Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazgul is simply coincidental

18 ) I will not call the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny. Even if he is wearing an orange anorak

19) I will not refer to the Weasley Twins as "bookends"

20) I will ont dress up in a Dementor's suit and use a dustbuster on Harry's lips to make him do what I want.

21) I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my Calculus book.

22) I will not hold my wand in the air before I casting spells shouting "I got the power!"

23) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that the Knights who say Ni have challenged him to a duel and then have students yell "Ni!" from various directions.

24) I am not Xena: Warrior Princess and I shall not use war cries to signal my entrance when I enter a classroom

25) Its not necessary for me to yell "Bam!" everytime I apparate.

26) I will not steal Griffyndor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallway.

27) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music when wandering the halls.

28 ) "To conquer the earth with flying monkeys" is not an appropriate career choice.

29) I am not allowed to begin Herbology class by singing the theme song to "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes"

30) I am not allowed to paint the house elves blue and call them smurfs.

31) The Whomping Willow is not an Entwife

32) "Draco Mafly, Take it up the Arse" is not an acceptable quidditch chant.

33) I will not dress up as Voldemort for Halloween.

34) I am not Allowed to lock Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy in a closet to see if hot gay sex will occur.

34) It is a mad idea to tell Proffesor Mcgonagal that she takes herself too seriously

35) "Ya'll check this crap out!" is not an aprropriate way to announce that I am about to conduct an expirimental spell

36) I will not say the phrase "Dude, get a life" to Voldemort.

37) I will not offer to pose nude for Collin Creevy.

38 ) I am no longer allowed to use the words "pimp cane" in front of Draco Malfoy.

39 Should I chance to see a Death Eater wearing a white mask, I should not start singing anything from The Phantom of the Opera.

40) Dumbledore does not have "nakie time".

Bio

Age: As old as time... Or at least a bad 80's watch.

Gender: I think, yep. I'm a girl.

Race: White as a saltine in a bleached out room.

Build: Short, hippish, and surprisingly speedy.

Hair: Brown (Ooh, exotic)

Eyes: Brown (Especially with these puppies. Brown brown brown brown.)

Clothes: Clean, comfy, and pretty clothes with less comfy but just as pretty shoes.