FanFiction.Net - unleash your imagination| Carcaohtar |
Author has written 9 stories for Samurai Champloo, Psychonauts, and Jhonen Vasquez. Hi-diddly-ho, readeroonies! (Ahh... the sound of crickets chirping!) If you've stumbled upon my writing... first and foremost... I pity you greatly. Perhaps you might say, "But Dylan! I love your cynical, stylistic approach, rich with suspense and sprinkled with satire!" To that, I say: "How do you know my real name?" In any case, most of the fics I'll be posting will be random. I post blocks of stories for a single category, before I move on to a new obsession and forget my old one. For example, I've passed my Samurai Champloo stage, passed my Psychonauts stage, and am currently juggling The Goon and Dog the Bounty Hunter, a show I could really get into if I could figure out how to program the VCR. (Yeah, that's right, I still have a VCR. And I can even play movies on it. Which is, for me, pretty impressive, considering I don't even know how to work the toaster and when I want toast I build a fire in the backyard and put bread on a stick.) So now that you know what a pathetically un-technical person I am, I bet you're wondering what kind of person I am. Well, a picture is worth a thousand words and I don't really feel like writing a thousand words, so here's seven thousand words worth of pictures: If you wonder what I look like, click here. (Keep in mind this is my senior yearbook picture, hence the reason why I look stoned and why it's all grainy and blurry.) And yes, I'm really and truly 21 now, although I'm aware I look much younger, and female. (Yeah, that's right! I'm a GUY. Shocking, no?) If you wonder what the Queen of England would look like in 3-D, click here. If you'd prefer a weird little .GIF animation involving Lord of the Rings, click here, here, or here. As for my writing style... let me describe it using a convoluted similie. Have you ever read something that's really deep and a little angsty, and then, suddenly, out of left field, started laughing because the author wrote something crazy? Like, in the middle of Macbeth, you notice that Shakespeare had a serious typo problem and changed Macbeth's name to "Macbath" for six pages? (I wonder how many people will actually go and read Macbeth looking for typos now.) Well, that's like me. I like humor a lot, and even in my "serious" stories there will probably be a lot of sarcastic little bits out of nowhere. I can't guarantee you'll like it, any more than I can guarantee you'll like pudding. But you probably don't like being told what you like anyway, do you? So go read my stuff and leave loads of reviews telling me all about what you think! Try to be kind; this is the first time I've published anything online. (Remember, I'm bread-on-a-stick man. I'm not good with technology.) In conclusion, never start anything you don't intend to fi | |||||||||||
1. Eyes of the Beholder » reviewsSEQUEL TO SHOEMAKER'S SON. Milla has never seen beyond Sasha's glasses. Frustrated with his cold and mysterious demeanor, she embarks on a mission to uncover his past despite warnings that she may not like what she finds.Psychonauts - Rated: T - English - General/Mystery - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,960 - Reviews: 21 - Updated: 3-13-07 - Published: 2-21-072. The Only Relief reviewsWhat was the final straw that made Johnny nail his bunny to the wall? What pushed him to create Nailbunny?Jhonen Vasquez - Rated: M - English - Horror/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,055 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 12-17-06 - Johnny C. & Nail Bunny - Complete3. Situation: Critical » reviewsWhen one of Sasha's experiments goes wrong, Jasper escapes Gloria's head and terrorizes Whispering Rock with his rampant criticism. Will they ever get him under control or be doomed to be insulted forever? ON HIATUSPsychonauts - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,689 - Reviews: 13 - Published: 10-15-064. The Shoemaker's Son » reviewsWhat if Milla decided to go into Sasha's mind to find out why he's so closed up? But what if she didn't like what she found? What if everything she found pointed to... madness?Psychonauts - Rated: K - English - General/Suspense - Chapters: 5 - Words: 8,190 - Reviews: 20 - Published: 8-13-06 - Complete5. Beneath the Water of the River reviewsOne shot, originally part of a sequel to Grains of Sand. Beneath Mugen's cool exterior is a more poetic side that sees the beauty in simple things.Samurai Champloo - Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 476 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 7-12-06 - Complete6. His Mother's Son » reviewsAfter Fuu's quest ends, Mugen decides to go on a quest of his own. But is the woman he finds really his mother? Jin has his suspicions... COMPLETED.Samurai Champloo - Rated: K+ - English - General - Chapters: 11 - Words: 18,956 - Reviews: 21 - Updated: 7-12-06 - Published: 2-12-06 - Complete7. No More Clowning Around » reviewsSequel to Cure for the Hiccups. Before Mugen, Jin, and Fuu can pass the next checkpoint on their way to Nagasaki, Mugen must face some old fears, including clowns and Jin's herbal tea.Samurai Champloo - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/General - Chapters: 7 - Words: 16,549 - Reviews: 39 - Updated: 1-9-06 - Published: 11-24-05 - Complete8. Grains of Sand » reviewsOrphaned, homeless, and starving before the age of 20, Jin is on a quest to find and kill his greatest enemy, a mysterious samurai in glasses, to avenge his honor. But when the dojo gets involved, things take a turn for the worst...Samurai Champloo - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Drama - Chapters: 31 - Words: 92,569 - Reviews: 32 - Updated: 11-7-05 - Published: 10-1-05 - Complete9. Cure for the Hiccups » reviewsOn the quest for the Sunflower Samurai, Mugen must face his worst enemy ever... hiccups. Will he ever be cured, or will Jin's home remedies kill him first? Some minor swearing.Samurai Champloo - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/General - Chapters: 7 - Words: 11,843 - Reviews: 41 - Updated: 10-15-05 - Published: 10-2-05 - Complete
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