name: Melissa
age: 18
live in England (we have crap football team)
born: Year of the Snake
b-day: 22 Oct
Like: most anime, Harry Potter, Dark Angel, watching tv, music(rock/punk/some emo), being lazy, completely random things.
dislike: older bro, all bugs, boring people, sports, the world before 10am.
Favorite saying: Random makes the world go round.
!RANDOM THINGS!
AGuide To Understanding Someone Of The Oppsite Sex:
Girl's
Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
"It's your decision" = The correct decision should be obvious by now!
"Do what you want" = You'll pay for this later!
"We need to talk" = I need to bitch.
"Sure...Go ahead" = I don't want you too.
"I'm not upset" = Of course I'm upset, you stupid moron!
"How much do you love me?" = I did something today your not goin' like me for.
"Is my butt fat?" = Tell me I'm beautiful.
"You have to learn to communicate!" = Just agree with me.
"Are you listening to me?" = Too late, you're dead!
Guy's
"I'm hungry" = I'm hungry
"I'm sleepy" = I'm sleepy
"I'm tired "= I'm tired
"Do you want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventaully like to have sex with you.
"Can I take you to dinner?" = I'd eventaully like to have sex with you.
"Can I call you sometime?" = I'd eventaully like to have sex with you.
"May I have this dance?" = I'd eventaully like to have sex with you.
"Nice dress" = Nice cleavage.
"You look tensed, let me give you a massage" = I want to fondle you.
"What's wrong? " = What meaningless self inflicted pshychological trauma are you going through now?
"What's wrong?" = I guess sex tonight is out of the question.
"I'm bored" = Do you want to have sex?
"I love you" = Let's have sex right now.
"I love you too" = Okay i said it we'd better have sex now!
"Let's talk" = I am tryin' to impress you by shown that I'm a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me!
"Will you marry me?" = On Our Honeymoon...We Can Have Sex!
If you can read this message, you are blessed because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal
pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a
rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't
mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the
olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer
be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl
mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed
ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling
was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!
If you could read that put it in your profile!
You know you live in 2007 when...
1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.
2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years
3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they dont have a screenname or my space
4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV
6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.
7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.
8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.
9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.
10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.
11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.
12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did
These were sent ot me by a dear friend, some parts migth seem a bit on the RUDE SIDE :-)
-If you yelled for 8 yers, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.(hardly seems worth it.)
-If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enought gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (now that's more like it!)
-The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out of the body to squirt blood 30 feet. (O.M.G!)
- A pig's orgasn last 30 minutes. (in my next life, i want to be a pig.)
- A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy (i'm still not over the pig))
-Banging your head against a wall uses 150 caliries a hour (don't try this at home, maybe at work)
-The male praying mantise cannpt copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. (honey, i'm home. What the...?!)
-The flea can jump 350 times its body lenght. it's like a human jumping the lengh of a football field. (30 minutes...Lucky pig! Can you imagine?)
- The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)
-Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity.)
-Butterflies taste with their feet. (Something i always wanted to know.)
-The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmmmmm...)
-Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people. (If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)
-Elephants are only animals that cannot jump. (Okay, so that would be a good thing.)
-A cat's urine glows under a black light. (I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)
- An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that.)
-Starfish have no brains. (I know some people like that too.)
-Poplar bears are left-handed. (If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.)
-Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (what about that pig???)
-Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread these crazy facts and copy this if you want to bring a smile, maybe even a chuckle to someone. (And God love that pig!)
Women as explained by engineers
1) To find a women you need Time and Money therefore: Women = TimeXMoney
2)"Time is money" so: Time=Money
3)Therefore woman =MoneyXMoney =Woman =(money)squared
4)"Money is the root of all problems" = Money= Problems(root)
5)Therefore woman= (problems(root))2
WOMAN = PROBLEMS
There is a dangerous virus being passed aound electronically, orally and by hand.This virus is call Weary-Overload-Recreational-Killer (WORK). If you receive WORK form any of your colleagues, your boss, or anyone else via any means DO NOT TOUCH IT. This virus will wipe out your private life Completely.
If you should come into contact with WORK, put your jacket on and take Two good friends to the nearest grocery store.
Purchase the antidote know as Work-Isolating-Neutralizer-Extract (WINE) or Bothersome-Employer-Elimination-Rebooter (BEER). Take the antidote Repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.
Harry Potter characters I like:
Harry Potter
Draco Malfoy
Lucius Malfoy
(well written) Severus Snape
(male) Blaise Zabini
Seamus Finnigan (he CAN be funny (can being the key word) )
Sirius Black (why was he killed off )
Remus Lupin (you've gota luv 'em; or maybe thats just my luv for wolfs?)
All the Weasleys minus Ron, Ginny, and Molly
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