Ev'rybody seems to think I'm lazy. I don't mind - I think they're crazy Running ev'rywhere at such a speed, 'till they find, there's no need
Keeping an eye on the world going by my window
When my grandmother first came to this country, the only job she could get was strapping toothbrushes on fish. She often wondered about what she was doing, but never dare to ask, as jobs were hard to come by. - B. Kliban
Name: Frizz K. West
Age: 15
Hair: A really short, dark brown mess of curls and frizz.
Rate of Eccentricity: .1764705 (Distence between foci divided by lenght of major axis)
Loves: The Beatles, David Bowie, Star Trek:TNG and DS9, Artemis Fowl, Monty Pythons Flying Circus, reading, writing, weird people, cats, Aida (Broadway version), the Twilight Zone, science fiction in general, potatos, Oscar Wilde, reviews, my old social studies teacher, B. Kliban, one-panel cartoons, pre-movie Spongebob, The Marx Brothers,
Hates: Slow computers, normal people, math, idiots, so called "webspeak" (y r u going there 2moro?), people who hate, two science teachers from my past(One was evil, the other was the personification of boring! Really, if you've seen Ferris Bueler, he's worse then that guy!)
If I Were a Reptile I Would be a: Box Turtle
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Favorites:
Movies: The Hours and Times, Gone With The Wind, Pirates of the Carribien, Buch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, The Village, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, The Man Who Fell to Earth, Psycho, Blade Runner (DC), Breathless, anything by the Marx Brothers.
Books: The Little Prince, The Moorchild, Zink, Green Angel, The HitchHiker's Guide to the Galaxy Seiries, The Man Who Fell to Earth, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, 2001: A Space Odyssey, Middlesex, Gates of Fire, the Pillars of the Earth, Dune.
T.V Shows: Monk (before Sharrona left), Star Trek:TNG, CSI, NUMB3ERS, NCIS, StarTrek: DS9, House M.D., Moonlight, Spongebob Squarepant (pre-movie), Ned's Diclassified School Survival Guide, Dave the Barbarian.
Music: The Beatles, David Bowie, Joe Jackson, Heart, The Velvet Underground, soundtracks to Aida, Velvet Goldmine (bad movie, good music) and RENT, MIKA, The Rolling Stones, The Petshop Boys, Mando Diao, T.Rex, Roxy Music, CCR.
Color: Silver.
Food: CHOCOLATE!
Numer: 27, for reasons unknown.
Rule Six: THERE IS NO RULE SIX!
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Ranting:
My life is a series of obsessions. They are: The Beatles, StarTrek TNG, Monty Python, David Bowie, HitchHiker's Guide to the Galaxy, RENT, Andy Warhol, Whose Line is is Anyway? and Oscar Wilde, The Man Who Fell to Earth (the book), Charlie's hair (NUMB3RS), One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (book), Blade Runner, Velvet Goldmine, The Worf Song, Breathless.
My only goal in life is to have as many reviews as humanly possible. The only thing I dislike more than people who read and don't review are people who read, put it on their fav. list, and don't review. I could not spell to save my life, so please tell me about any errors you may find. Jessica, AKA PEACE IS GOODandsoisrent, is not the idiot I make her out to be. She's just really funny. I have an account on FictionPress.com under the same pen name, where I write weird short stories and bad poems. I have my profile on that as my homepage. I honestly have no idea what I'm doing when I write anything, like right now, I don't know what I'm doing! See?
I think I have the longest fav. quotes list on this whole site. There are 104 last count. And 15 are from Jessica, her holding the title of most quoted, by far. If you find anyone with more quotes than I, tell me so that I can deflate my massive ego. It's getting hard to fit in rooms. The very, very first quote at the top of my page is from John Lennon's "I'm Only Sleeping", which describes my mood every single morning, weekend or not. The second quote is from a cartoon by B. Kliban titled "A Little Family History." The grandmother he refers to is pictured in my icon.
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And now for something completely different...
Don't interrupt me when I'm talking to myself! - somebody else's bio.
I used to think that anybody who did anything weird was weird, but now I know that anybody who calls anybody else weird is weird. - Sir Paul McCartney
Our late editor is dead, he died of death, which killed him. - John Lennon
IT'S ... Monty Pythons Flying Circus! - The opening for MPFC.
Your dead, this is the afterlife ... and I'm God! - Q "Tapestry"
Sarah: ... and with an English accent ...
Me: Sarah, he's English and ENGLISH people do have ENGLISH accents! - a conversation between me and my friend Sarah about when she (supposedly) met Daniel Radcliffe.
WRONG! WRONG! That's completely bloody wrong! You're no bloody use at all! You're an utter bloody washout! YOU MAKE ME SICK YOU WEED! - Flying lessons (MPFC)
Strange women lying in pond distributing swords is no basis for a system of government! -Dennis "Monty Python and the Holy Grail".
I reject your reality and substitute my own! - Adam Savage (Mythbusters).
... And suddenly, he needed air in his lungs, which was damn weird because he didn't have lungs in the standard sense and he didn't need air in ANY sense! - Q-Squared by Peter David
I cook! I clean! And God damn it IT'S MANLY! - My friend Kevin, after I asked him why he knew all the names of kitchen tools in home ecc.
And you missed Alex have a fight with her pancake. - Me. Don't ask.
Never hit a girl... they will come back and kill you! They'll gauge your eyes out and rip your flesh! Never hit a girl! - Long story for this one. I was at the supermarket and I did something to piss my brother off, so he pulled my hair. Then this old guy walks up to him and says this. And he was right!
I see the world as a giant pyramid. Apparently, I'm on the bottom. - My friend Danielle
Raymond Luxury Yatch: No, no, no, it's spelled Raymond Luxury Yacht but it's pronounced Throat Wobbler Mangorve!
Interviewer: You're a very silly man and I'm not going to interview you! - MPFC, An interview with Raymond Luxury Yacht.
I'm the type of person who'd like to sit at home and watch every party that I'm invited to on a monitor in my bedroom. - Andy Warhol
I got a jar of dirt! I got a jar of dirt! And guess what's inside it! - Capt. Jack Sparrow, POTC2. I spent all of camp repeating this until people were ready to kill me.
I am not suggesting that I don't suggest things I am blatantly stating it! - My friend Marie.
It's a chair fee! - My dad.
My Rice Krispies tell me to do bad things. - My friend Or. Yes, his name is Or.
It looks like an ordinary penny because it is an ordinary penny! MWHAHAHA! - Plankton, Spongebob Squarepants
I never think that people die. They just go to department stores. - Andy Warhol
I am a deeply superficial person. - Andy Warhol
Reality leaves a lot to the imagination. - John Lennon
You know, for as long as I can remember, I've had memories - Colin Mochrie
He's an idiot! I love him!- My friend Jessica, talking about her improv. teacher
If I were me, I would so stalk myself. - Again, Jessica. She said this after we made up the theory that Or has split personalities and is stalking himself.
People who count their chickens before they are hatched act very wisely because chickens run about so absurdly that it's impossible to count them accurately. - Oscar Wilde
I simply hate, detest, loathe, despise, and abhor redundancy. - Oscar Wilde
Always forgive your enemies; Nothing annoys them so much. - Oscar Wilde
As I lay in my bed and looked up at the stars I thought... where the hell is my ceiling? - I can't remember where I got this one.
But, it's not body temperature, really. It's more like... potato temperature. - Yet again, Jessica. She said this one in biology after we did an experiment with enzymes (which work best at body temperature) using potatoes.
Whiskers began... WHAT? - Jessica. Again. She cracks me up.
Aw! You look like a lonely little orphan girl. You should star in a movie! - My friend Hanna, to me, after I pressed my hair to my head for one reason or another. Apparently I looked something like little orphan Annie.
I understand. Deep down in my spleen. - Me. Long story for this one. Message me if you want to know it.
Sacrifice! - My brother, while we were talking about Shakespeare, Charles Dickens, and Christmas.
Shocking new development! Virginia is not Kentucky!- My brother's best friend, Matthew.
(In a sing-song voice) House, cut your leg off! - Jessica trying to explain the T.V. show House M.D. to me.
I was attacked by a rabid bingo card! - Or, after somebody threw a bingo card at him in French.
We can't just strap rocket boosters to Earth and say "ANDROMEDA, HO!" - Again, Or, after Jessica suggested that we move the earth when the sun explodes.
Holy cats! - This is something that I say whenever anything at all happens, most just to bug Jessica. I got it from a book by Andy Warhol.
Green, green, green, so I did. - Sgt. Gripweed, How I Won the War. I say this a lot. WEIRD MOVIE! But I liked it.
Imagine if you started an "I Hate Mr. Brown club" and just sat around saying "Yo, I hate Mr. Brown. His head's too shiny. Stupid Mr. Brown. "- My 8th grade social studies teacher, Mr. Brown.
I sort of collect them for you when you're not around. - Sarah, referring to funny things Jessica says.
...No more Ms. Meady saying "Put down that shovel!" - Jessica, talking about Ms. Ready the school drama teacher (for lack of a better term). Not only did she miss-pronounce her name, Ms. Ready has never said anything about a shovel to Jessica. This statement was followed by much laughter
Win or lose, there's always Hupyrian beetle snuff. - Rule of Acquisition # 65
"Honesty" is just another word for "You're mean!" - Hanna after I explained that I wasn't being mean by saying she was a moron, I was just being honest.
Me and Robbie decided to eat Jamal. He called us racist and threatened to eat himself. We told him that was physically impossible.(beat) We were wrong. Jamal ate himself. -smosh short, "Stranded".
MAGIC! - My brother and his best friend's response to any questions about a sandwich they had at a tail gate party. This makes it very hard to find out anything about this sandwich.
Let's go to the Liver Store! -Interesting things happen in bio.
I'm not talking about racism, I'm talking about the color green! - Jessica, in a very serious conversation. Well, she was the only one talking, because the other guy wouldn't say anything, but it was very serious non-the-less
I only remember things after people tell me about them. That's how I lost the court case. - My brother, in a fever induced haze. To this day I still have no idea what he was talking about.
(Singing) I'm sanding away the glue... and that is not a pun! - A song about tech ed (sort of) by Jessica, Hanna and I.
TRANSFORM!- Something my 8th grade social studies teacher said when he wanted us to move our desks from rows to groups.
I'm just calling to annoy you!- My dad.
He wants to breed llamas. - House, from House M.D., which I finally got into.
Normally, when people tell me about conversations they've had with brick walls, I think they've gone off the deep end, but you went off the deep end so long ago that I'm forced to take you seriously. - Matthew, in a conversation my brother and him were having about echoes.
Pearl: People will mistake me for a planetarium!
Mr. Krabs: What do you mean?
Pearl: I...don't...know! - Mr. Krabs and Pearl, Spongebob Squarepants. That show was really funny before they made the movie.
I've got two things to say! The second one will come after. - The head security guard at my middle school. Not the smartest security guard out there, but she's nice. Sometimes.
All you guys who think you aren't affected by P.M.S... You are wrong! - My 8th grade health teacher.
Jessica: I'm Jessica...
Other Jessica: And I'm Jessica...
Both: And we're schizophrenic! - Two of my friends, both named Jessica, but only one is the one I've been talking in all the other quotes.
What's going on? Why does that guy look like a lumberjack? What is happening? - Me. None of my questions were answered.
Something bit me! - My Dad. In an electronics store.
Gosh. You've really got a lot of nice toys here. - Roy Batty, Blade Runner
Aw. Your three took my Jack! - My friend Janine, at camp at 2 AM. It seemed a lot funnier then too.
WE ARE BORG! RESISTANCE IS FUTILE. YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED. But we're not home right now, so leave your name and number and we'll assimilate you later. - From a list of answering machine quotes. I'd love to have this for my answering machine.
I have a NINJA ARMY! - Jessica on the phone with another friend. She's moving. Ack.
Sir, I protest! I am not a merry man! - Worf, ST: TNG, Qpid
Repeat after me; I will NOT join a cult. - My current social studies teacher, who is amazingly awesome.
There can be just about any kind of revolution. There could even be a rodent revolution, where they grew eight feet tall and wore top hats and ate people. That would be a pretty major revolution, because then instead of "Oh, look, a squirrel." It'd be "AAAUGGG!"- My social studies teacher
Me: The secutiry guard called you a girl.
Kevin: I've learned to not question the security guards. - Kevin and I.
Quick Sunu! Grow six feet taller so we can find Therese and Angie! - Hanna, when we were trying to find other people in a crowded store. Sunu acctualy tried to gain six feet in a matter of seconds, but only made it to four.
Progesterin verses Elephants. It will be an epic battle. - Guy on my Acidemic Team. I am the Super-Nerd!
Well, what is Amny?
A train station! GOSH! - Jessica and I wrote this to add humor to an otherwise dull school paper. It turns out Amny is not a train station after all, which makes me so very, very sad.
IT'S CHRISTMAS! - Sunu, after another friend gave her a huge sandwich. In November.
Brother: Well, I like CSI.
Guy: Which one? Miami or New York?
Brother: Vegas.
Guy: AW MAN! They made another one?- My brother and a guy he knows that I don't.
Oren: Time heals all wounds.
Brian: That's not true. If your head geets chopped off, in a hundred years you'll still be dead.
Noah: Decapitation is not a wound!
Brian: It's a way of life! - Conversation during Acidemic team meeting.
He looked at his brother with loathing, then...killed him! I remember that day well. It was a melancholy day, cloudy, with a 40 per cent chance of rain, and a side of meatballs. Those meatballs were good. Kind of like the ones Grandma made. I ate those meatballs. And I fed the leftovers...to my dead brother! - Guy in my English class, randomly talking to himself. And I nearly fell out of my chair.
Cultural diffusion. It is the most important term you will learn in the next two years. If there is a question, and you don't know the answer, it is cultural diffusion. If I come to your house in the middle of the night and pick you up out of bed and shin a flashlight in your eyes and start beating you up, the first thing you should say is "Mom, call the cops!" The second thing you should say is "cultural diffusion." If the question is "What's your Grandmother's middle name?" and a choice is "cultural diffusion", you pick cultural diffusion! - My GH teacher's cultural diffusion lecture.
Hi, I need to schedual an MRI for...(long pause)...oh, my brain, I guess. - My mom, who couldn't remember whether it was her head or her brain. She was put on hold but got cut off. I really wonder what the receptionist thought.
Oh! Cheese! How can I talk about Ireland and not talk about cheese?- Jessica, telling me about her field trip to Ireland.
-cough- Eyebrow! -cough- - Jessica, acctually coughing and saying "Eyebrow" in between.
I'm not eating a lightbulb! - Sarah, eating a suger lightbulb.
Chicken! Chicken! Chicken! -collapses- - Sarah's little brother, getting excited about chickens
Every book I've liked came from that store. That is so not true. - Jessica. I wish everyone would say that when they lie.
TODAY IS WENDSDAY!- Something Jessica and I say every Monday.
Kryptonite can't kill Jesus. - My social studies teacher.
Girl: Josh is, like, my best friend ever!
SST: No, Josh is my best friend ever!
Girl:...You need to get more friends.
SST: I can't. I don't have anymore money. - Conversation between Random Girl and my social studies teacher.
House: What's her name?
Wilson: She doesn't have one. Some sort of birth defect. - House, M.D.
Me: So, how will we remove the giant snowball to install the pop-up tree?
Matt: Simple. We will get a crane, and lift the giant snowball into a giant freezer. Then we will install the tree. Then, we will place the freezer over the tree, while it is underground. When people come to investingate the giant freezer in the middle of the field, we will zap away the freezer, leaving only the giant snowball. Then, we will acitvate the pop-up tree, thus hurtling the snowball into the air, where it will land on the Eight Year Old Moron. - The plot to destroy an obnoxious eight year old, devised by Matthew and I.
Whatever it is...I'm against it! - Groucho Marx. My Dad says this a lot, and I never knew it was a quote 'til I saw "Horse Feathers."
Future events such as these will effect you in the future. - Ed Wood's "Plan 9 From Outer Space". I couldn't even get through the first half-hour, but this line was perfect.
Brother: You try to kill me too often.
Matthew: I don't succed often enough. - My brother and his friend.
I'm pretty glad that all the Jews didn't have time for was letting bread rise. Like, they could've not had time to let their clothes dry, and I'd be wet all week, or not put on their left shoes, and I'd have to limp around all week. See my point?- My GH teacher, about Passover.
What's an organic shape?! Are there Kosher shapes!? Do they have four stomaches?! - Katie, freaking out about organic shapes in art class.
Hodges...I want you to stop stalking me. - Grissom, CSI ep. "The Theory of Everything"
Oh...my..God. Nina, I have the exact same money as you! - Sunu
I intend to live forever, or die trying. - Groucho Marx
She gets her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon. - Groucho Marx
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx
Why is there a dumpster outside of the synagogue labeled "Gentiles?" - My brother. Apparently it's a company, but it's still funny.
Now, I know this seems kind of weird, and kind of crazy and really stupid, but, guess what? So's life. - Mike, my teacher at a summer writing program.
Come on, we all make mistakes. Well, I don't, but I promised the government I wouldn't talk about that. - Seth, another teacher from the program.
Chris: That food looks good.
Molly: Yes, and that music is nice.
Chris: Yes, and it's very dissapointing, becuase I'm allergic to all Mexican food.
Molly: Yes, and so am I.
Chris: Yes, and I think the only reason we're here is because the logo is very well done.
Molly: Yes, and I think you pick really bad date locations.
Chris: Yes, and the other 17 women I've dated told me the same thing.
Molly: You never told me about the 17 other women.
Chris: And they wouldn't tell you about me. - A wonderful moment during Improv at the writing program.
I don't know why they call it butterflys, since it's more like some squirrel digging around in there. - Mike on stage fright.
Ahh vengance thou art my wavering temptation! You feel me? - Lili from the writer's workshop, when we were attempting to write emails in fake Shakespeare.
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