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Author has written 27 stories for Harry Potter, Stargate: SG-1, Bridge to Terabithia, Stargate: Atlantis, Hannah Montana, Torchwood, Twilight, and Kingdom Hearts. Tragedy never takes a day off. My name's Jess. I love to write, though I frequently get writer's block. I want to be a kindergarten teacher, bring on the little kids! :D I am obsessed with Panic At The Disco and love their songs. "When The Day Met The Night" and "We're So Starving" are both AWESOME! I obsessively ship Rydon, Joncer, Peterick, Gabilliam, Chizden, pretty much anything slashy. Yeah. Brendon Urie must have ADHD, I swear. The only thing more hyper than that guy is that guy on caffeine. William Beckett = the shit. Period. Don't like slash? Then don't bitch at me. Just fuck off. My Aussie friend on LJ got me in the habit of calling some of my friends "King Of Narnia" or "wockets" and "wosets". Damn Dr. Suess. One of my personal quotes is: "Anyone can be on Hannah Montana. Just take a video of you talking to a dog in a blonde wig with bad pop music playing in the background. No one can tell the difference." My Life Soundtrack Opening Credits: Waking Up: First Day At School: Falling In Love: Fight Song: Breaking Up: Prom: Life: wMental Breakdown: Driving: Flashback: Getting back together: Wedding: Birth of Child: Final Battle: Death Scene: Funeral Song: End Credits: 1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning. 2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that 3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy 4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed 5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were 6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay 7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight 8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like 9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model 10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could Copy this to your profile if you believe in legalizing gay marriage! (Gotta love Havah Kinny... Seriously.) BOLD ones are me I'm into THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual I'm a VIRGIN, so I MUST be a prude I'm BI, so I MUST think every girl I see is hot I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly or crazy I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control I'm WICCAN, so I MUST be a devil-worshipping baby killer I SUCK MY OWN BLOOD FROM WOUNDS, so I MUST have a vampire fetish I'm a BLACK BELT, so I MUST always want to kick someone's ass I'm a FEMALE BLACK BELT, so I MUST be a lesbian I LIKE TO BE MYSELF, so I MUST be cocky and arrogant I'm FRENCH, so I MUST be homosexual I'm a BOHEMIAN, so I MUST be a lazy drug addict I LOVE ANIMALS, so I MUST be a vegetarian I'm a TREEHUGGER, so I MUST be a drug addicted hippie I'm INTO JIMI HENDRIX, so I MUST be on drugs I'm a MUSICIAN, so I MUST not be doing anything with my life I have GOOD GRADES, so I MUST be a nerd or suck-up I have GREEN SKIN, so I MUST be a wicked witch I'm DIFFERENT, so I MUST just want attention I'm an ACTOR/ACTRESS, so I MUST be mean I'm THIN, so I MUST have an eating disorder I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a stupid ditz I HAVE A LOT OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be dating them all I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS I'm ASIAN, so I MUST love math I'm BLACK, so I MUST be on welfare I'm PUNK, so I MUST slit my wrists I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist I'm IRISH, so I MUST be an alcoholic I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore with a jock boyfriend I'm a JEW, so I MUST be greedy I LOVE RENT, so I MUST be an emo lesbian with AIDS I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST hear crazy God voices in my head I'm AMERICAN, so I MUST be an overweight pig with no boundaries I'm a GIRL, so I MUST suck at all guy sports I like CATS, so I MUST dance like a cat in my spare time I SPEAK GERMAN, so I MUST be a psycho Nazi I'm IN BAND, so I MUST be a geek I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST be rebellious I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser I DON'T HAVE A RELIGION, so I MUST not have morals I'm a DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay I'm a DANCER, so I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals I'm ALWAYS SMILING AND LAUGHING, so I MUST have a great life I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS, so I MUST be looking for attention I HANG OUT WITH GAYS, so I MUST be gay too I COPIED AND PASTED THIS INTO MY PROFILE, so I MUST be a plagiarist I like to READ, so I MUST be a nerd I FROWN a lot, so I MUST have a bad life I get BAD GRADES, so I MUST be a slacker who doesn't try I READ SLASH/INCEST, so I MUST have sex with my family. I like to be ALONE, so I MUST have no friends. I LOVE THE JONAS BROTHERS, so I MUST love the Disney Channel. I LOVE THE JONAS BROTHERS, so I MUST love Hannah Montana (NEVER HAPPENING! Ew.) I'm a JEW, so I MUST hate all Germans I am POLITE to TEACHERS, so I MUST be a teacher's pet I'm a GOOD LIAR, so I MUST be an actor/actress Stop stereotypes! Copy this list into your profile and add any more that you can think of. If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile. If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile. If you think that life without computers is useless then copy this to your profile. If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile. If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile. If you think Ryan and Brendon from Panic At The Disco just need to admit they're dating already, copy this into your profile. If you have ever cried when your favorite character in a movie, T.V show, or book died, copy and paste this into your profile. No boy is worth crying for, and the one that is won't make you cry. If you agree, copy and paste this into your profile. If you ever wondered who made up all of the 'copy this into your profile' things then copy this into your profile. If you have ever burned any sort of food in the microwave, oven, toaster, or on the stove, copy this into your profile. If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile. If you love the rain, copy and paste this into your profile. You're a 90's kid if: You can finish this 'ice ice _" (I am such a 90s kid... I spent days trying to get my friend Bri to hand over all over her Pokemon cards so I could be the coolest. Also, one more thing: GOLD POKEMON CARDS. 'Nuff said.) | |||||||||
1. Sympathy reviews"I'd ask for sympathy like that, but, as you know… Sympathy makes us sinners." Roxas is a senior who's crazy about his brother's boyfriend. Along comes Axel, another senior who should have graduated two years ago.Kingdom Hearts - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,137 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 5-16-09 - Axel & Roxas - Complete2. Backseat » reviewsLilly's always stuck in the backseat around Miley. What happens when Lilly meets someone who lets her sit up front?Hannah Montana - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 6,166 - Reviews: 20 - Updated: 8-27-08 - Published: 12-31-07 - Lilly T./Lola L.3. Curled Up Alone reviewsA poem to Jake from Bella's POV. Starts in New Moon and ends around the end of Eclipse. Review please!Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 149 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 7-8-08 - Jacob & Bella - Complete4. Tosh's Toaster reviewsSpoilers for Exit Wounds. What exactly did Tosh mean by "an incident with the toaster"?Torchwood - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 574 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 6-1-08 - Complete5. Torchwood High reviewsTorchwood Three gets orders to run a small high school for a semester. What kind of trouble could possibly come out of watching over a bunch of teenagers?Torchwood - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 734 - Reviews: 13 - Published: 5-2-086. The Paintball War » reviewsA paintball War is started on the North Pier, but quickly deteriorates to defending themselves from a surprise Wraith attack. And what's this? Replicators? Eventual Sheyla.Stargate: Atlantis - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,323 - Reviews: 16 - Updated: 4-19-08 - Published: 11-16-07 - John S. & Teyla E. - Complete7. Jealousy and Tears reviewsTeyla tells something to the team that sparks jealousy in John.Stargate: Atlantis - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 301 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 1-5-08 - John S. & Teyla E. - Complete8. Christmas Party reviewsCowritten with my GW friend, TeylaFan. There's a Christmas party on Atlantis, and John asks Teyla to go.Stargate: Atlantis - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,332 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 1-3-08 - John S. & Teyla E.9. Shattered » reviewsSequel to Broken. Teyla's the broken one now.Stargate: Atlantis - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,225 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 12-21-07 - Published: 12-5-07 - Teyla E. & John S.10. Coffee reviewsLilly meets the Jonas brothers at a Hannah party. Someone has coffee.Hannah Montana - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 532 - Reviews: 20 - Published: 12-2-07 - Complete11. The Twelve Days of Christmas reviewsThe full version that Sirius started singing in OOTP.Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 399 - Reviews: 9 - Published: 11-28-07 - Mundungus F. & Sirius B. - Complete12. Broken reviewsJohn's broken. This time, It can't be healed.Stargate: Atlantis - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 205 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 11-26-07 - Teyla E. & John S. - Complete13. Holidays reviewsThis is a series of short oneshots following John and Teyla's first holidays together, starting with Christmas.Stargate: Atlantis - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 126 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 11-23-07 - Teyla E. & John S.14. I Hope You Dance reviewsAnd when you get the choice to sit it out or dance: I hope you dance.Stargate: Atlantis - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 366 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 11-16-07 - Teyla E. & John S. - Complete15. Teyla's Dream reviewsWhat happens after. Tags to Doppelganger.Stargate: Atlantis - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 280 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 11-10-07 - Teyla E. & John S. - Complete16. Love and Tears reviewsBased on the 2007 movie!Bridge to Terabithia - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 282 - Reviews: 9 - Published: 10-12-07 - Complete17. Truth reviewsHermione's opinion of truth. It's kind of short.Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 237 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 9-8-07 - Hermione G. - Complete18. Tears and Shadows reviewsTears and shadows haunt Blaise's love life.Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 354 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 9-8-07 - Blaise Z. & Hermione G. - Complete19. SG1 Takes Over Guild Wars! reviewsSG1 walks through the gate and ends up in a video game!Stargate: SG-1 - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 417 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 7-28-07 - J. O'Neill & D. Jackson - Complete20. McKay's Secret Hobby reviewsSam finds something interesting about McKay...Stargate: SG-1 - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 313 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 6-15-07 - S. Carter - Complete21. What Death Brings, Life Abandons reviewsBIG twist... Character deaths!Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 285 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 4-5-07 - Hermione G. & Harry P. - Complete22. Mistletoe II reviewsThe party.Stargate: SG-1 - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 569 - Reviews: 9 - Published: 1-29-07 - J. O'Neill & S. Carter - Complete23. Photograph reviewsHermione hears Photograph on the radio and remmembers.Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 797 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 1-5-07 - Published: 12-4-06 - Hermione G. - Complete24. Mistletoe reviewsFluffiness galore. 'Nuf said.Stargate: SG-1 - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 557 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 12-17-06 - J. Fraiser & D. Jackson - Complete25. Unlikely Partners » reviewsMalfoy plays a prank on Snape and the trio. They become partners and hilarity ensues.Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 1,620 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 12-15-06 - Published: 7-3-06 - Severus S. & Harry P.26. Truly Gone reviewsA very sad ficlet. Hermione reflects on Ron's death and Ginny's involvement.Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 370 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 11-28-06 - Hermione G. & Ron W. - Complete27. The Phoenix and the Dragon reviewsA cute and fluffy oneshot, but Ron's DEAD! I have thanks to flames for chappie 2, deleted said chapter! But thanks for the flames, I now have delicios chesseburgers to eat!Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 337 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 2-28-06 - Published: 2-27-06 - Ginny W. & Draco M. - Complete