"Clever writers, like fountains, do not seem so deep as they are."

Ill-used Tumbler: words-without (may occasionally contain fanfic previews, thoughts, etc, but explicit content is a guarantee.)

Original work: is being slowly added to my da account (same name).

On Beta-reading: not right now, sorry.

Basics:

Laziest person in the universe, wannabe-author who will probably end up living under a bridge. A ridiculous soda junky who was born without the ability to stress but with the ability to speedread. That's good because I'm determined to read every book ever written and/or translated into the English language, with some obvious exceptions (I hated poorly-written vampire shlock before it was cool). Was shadowriter55, years and years ago.

I'm 23, a Jew-who-barely-believes-in-God-and-thinks-religion-is-sort-of-silly, and female. They tell me I graduated college, though I refuse to believe it. Now I find myself photocopying things for a major newspaper and occasionally reporting on stuff for them. One day I'll have a dozen Nobel Prizes in literature to my name (though I'd settle for just one. Or maybe a photo of one cut out from a magazine). Now I live in Brooklyn, like a hipster only without the ironic beard.

I'm a Yu Yu Hakusho fan from way back, but my anime addiction is Fullmetal Alchemist. Others would be Wolf's Rain, Trigun, Rurouni Kenshin, Heat Guy J, Teen Titans, Avatar-The Last Airbender, Law and Order, Glee, and House. And BBC's Sherlock. Lately I've gotten into a video game kick that culminated with my becoming utterly obsessed with Assassin's Creed, Altair, Malik, and Altair/Malik, in that order. I'm also having more fun watching skywalker05 play Mass Effect then I think I would have actually playing it.

I'm incapable of writing short things. I'm very capable of writing gloom, bloodshed and torture, angst, sex, cursing, etc. I apologize if my author's notes are as long as the fic itself. Every now and then I try to trim this profile down and when I'm finished it's somehow even longer.

I used to be a canon-whore when it came to parings. I still think people who slash characters together, female love interests be damned, for the sole reason of ohemgeehawt are dumb. Or fifteen. Usually both.

That being said, my favorite parings these days are all slash couples of supposedly straight characters. I think it's just that I'm fascinated by characters who couldn't fully exist without each other, and who on some level can't escape each other no matter how much they might wish otherwise. See Sherlock and John, Roy and Riza, Altair and Malik. It doesn't have to be healthy, or happy, or sexual (though it might as well be sexual). You can call it brotherly or platonic or romantic, you can call it obsessive - whatever you call it, some characters are written to be as much about another person as they are about themselves. I find that so interesting, from a writer's viewpoint. Gender? Gender is the last thing I'm going to worry about. Good writing is good writing, and anyone who thinks there are three neat boxes labeled 'hetero', 'homo', and 'bi' is living a really sheltered life.

(Maria from AC is one of only two canonical love interests I've ever hated, and I'd hate her even if I didn't ship AltMal. I'd rather have a game without females than a game with female characters shoved in solely to make babies with the hero and then die. I know she's also supposed to be a soldier but anachronisms and patriarchal societies and nrrrgghhh.)

I take writing, even writing fanfiction, way too seriously for my own good.

Parings (aka the important part):

--I fangirl Royai like there's no tomorrow. It's a bit frightening. Also: Ed/Winry, Danny/Maria, Al/Marta, Greed/Marta, Scar/Lust, Fuery/Shezca, Havoc/Fuery, and Hughes/Gracia. I love the first anime and the manga, hate the movie, and actually got bored halfway through Brotherhood. One of these days I'm gonna try it again.

--For Yu Yu Hakusho, I support (as usual) most of the canon parings...Kuwabara/Yukina, unhealthy-Shizeru/Sakyo, srsly-unhealthy-Genkai/Toguro, Boton/Koenma. I despise Keiko, so I don't support her x Yusuke, I don't support any Hiei parings because I just can't see him falling in love, and I support Kurama x NON-MARY-SUE-OC.

--For Teen Titans: Beast Boy/Raven, Beast Boy/Terra (but I'm a bigger fan of the first, 'cause post betrayal!Terra just pissed me off), and Robin/Starfire.

--For House: Chase/Cameron. I don't know why. I didn't even like Cameron as a character all that much. Also, their divorce saga made me remember why I disliked her. Season five/six Wilson-in-mourning-over-Amber somehow managed to somewhat push me into Wilson/Amber mode. I like their relationship best when she's dead, though. House/Cuddy is also nice. Ditto for 13/Forman. I will always enjoy this show but I stopped watching about three seasons ago, in case you couldn't tell.

--For Glee: I just want there to be less Rachel/Finn drama and more Kurt/Blaine drama. Please?

--For ATLA: I'm a loyal supporter of Katara/Zuko (Zutara). Canon, not-canon...honestly, at this point I don't care. Aang/Katara bores me to tears. Suki/Sokka and Smellerbee/Longshot are excellent; also Toph/Aang because why not. Occasionally I'll consider Ty Lee/Mai or Ursa/Ozai.

Korra/Mako, even if Mako's a jerk. Also maybe Bolin/Asami? Or Asami/Iroh II. Amon's final scene broke my heart and now I find myself desperate for any kind of interaction between him and Tarrlok. ...The fact that Amon/Lieutenant exists makes my millennium.

Of course, everyone knows that the only important characters in Avatar are Iroh and the Cabbage Man. (Although I have a bit of a Writer's Thing for Koh.)

--For Trigun: Vash/Meryl and Millie/Wolfwood, and perhaps Legato/Midvalley.

--For Code Geass: Suzaku/Euphie, Cornelia/Gilford, Ohgi/Viletta, Tohdoh/Nagisa Chiba, Schneizel/Kanon, Lloyd/Cecile, Rivalz/Milly, Milly/Shirley, and I could get behind a decently-written Gino/Kallan. Oh, and Li Xingke/Tianzi. (And I can't lie, Lelouche/Suzaku would be interesting...but in a dark, angsty, quasi-abusive sort of way.)

--For Sherlock (BBC version): ohgosh Sherlock/John is the most awkward, fumbling, ridiculous thing and I love it so. It was John's about-face at the grave that got me. Also Moriarty/crazy/voice control.

--For Assassin's Creed: See above. I'm not sure if it's true love or true hate but Maltair is fun to say. I try to redeem myself for this Altair/Malik obsession by supporting Ezio/Rosa as well (sorry, Leonardo, he's just not that into you). Ezio/Caterina, Ezio/Christina, Ezio/Sofia, and Ezio/all the prostitutes also work. If it wasn't for Altair/Malik I think Shaun/Rebecca would be my otp. I accept Desmond/Lucy without caring all that much. Yusuf whyyyyyy. The Secret Crusade does not exist in my world, although I do like Altair and Malik's respective offspring. I angryship Haytham/Ziio, and is Conner/Aveline a thing? Can it be a thing? Even if I have no idea when/if I'll have a chance to play Liberation? More AC3 parings to come, I'm sure, and no, none of them will involve George Washington.

I've already started busily paring my Brotherhood apprentices together. This should surprise no one. Annetta/Panfilo, secretly Nino/Saverino, and yes, this is what I do with my spare time. Still trying to figure out how Annetta got to Turkey, because Ezio repeat-rescued her from some Byzantines in Revelations.

--Lastly, even though I'm really not that huge a fan of the books themselves, Tonks/Lupin from Harry Potter always has my interest.

(Some of these fandoms I haven't thought about in years. Right now, fic-wise I'm all about Assassin's Creed and Sherlock, with some FMA still simmering in the background. Glee and Avatar spring up occasionally.)

CURRENTLY WORKING ON (1/03/13):

--The Wanderers: A joint, multi-chapter fic between skywalker05 and I! There will be Royai, some Edwin, lots of violence, Nazis, more violence, drama, angst, even more violence... Takes place after the first anime, but ignores the movie. Unfortunately the nature of the fic seems to require month long pauses between updates. Quality over quantity, and all that. This fic is sorta-kinda-more-or-less on hold for now. But the authors are still talking about it and have plans to continue when life settles down.

--Speak Against the Sun: the promised sequel for And When the Earth Shall Claim Your Limbs is now posted! Will contain rebellions, adorable children, djinn and sex. And other stuff. A brief preview now available on tumblr!

Other Notes:

--Violent Delights, Past the Fall, and Afterthought make up an unofficial little trilogy. You in no way have to read all to understand one, nor are they in any particular order. But I like to think they compliment each other nicely. Water, Water, Everywhere is essentially oc-centric (well, about as oc-centric as As a Tower is oc-centric) LOK torturefic with an emphasis on torture. Fair warning!

-- I've written a lot of Royai in my day, much of it posted within collections. Every Missing Irony and Remember Tomorrow are probably my best efforts, skill-wise. EMI is also finished, despite my dithering on calling it such. One day it might get another chapter as an endpiece. One day. The Colonel and the First Lieutenant contains a lot of older work, some of it still decent. Midnight Insomnia would have been better as a smutfic if I hadn't been 15 when I wrote it. The Beginning's Sacrifice needs a new title.

Perspectives is bad. It just is. It was my first ever fanfiction, written many years ago, and it's just craptastic, with laughable characterization problems and author's notes that look like they were written by a nerdy 14 year old (they were, in fact, written by a nerdy 14 year old). I fixed up--or tried to fix up--the first dozen or so chapters, but there's no salvaging Bad Writing. I keep it up for nostalgia's sake, but it's not a good story and I mean that in all seriousness.

--Battle of Eagles is proof that my 22 year old self is not my 14 year old self: it contains implied slash of the kind I once swore I'd never write, and a dash of AU of the type I used to hate. The Desert Drowning will only make sense if you've seen the DLC for Assassin's Creed 2. As a Tower Firmly Set is original fiction only not at all.

--And When the Earth Shall Claim Your Limbs is finished! A pregame fic from Malik's point of view. Slash, of the Maltair/Altmal variety. Now contains the longest single chapter I've ever written, at over 13,000 words. I'm sorry. Note the M rating, and also note my anti-fluff feelings when it comes to this pairing. Somewhat-graphic gay angst-smut ahoy.

--I will occasionally write for other fandoms (see Proper Protocal for the Destruction of, Eden of Stone, etc.) but only when I feel the urge or am beaten enough by skywalker05. No promises, no expectations, yadda yadda yadda.

--The Wanderers is, as mentioned, a joint-fic. We are going to finish it if it takes us a hundred years. That being said, it updates slow and badgering the authors on the matter will not help.

Fanart:
I can't believe I get to have this section! You guys are the Best People. Also this is the best art, I'm awed by the talent. Grouped by artist...!
Links not working? Credit missing? Please let me know!

1) And When The Earth Shall Claim Your Limbs: this (nsfw) and this by the amazing sannam ;six year olds.. ; chapter 17 (nsfw), miss you like a limb and was it worth it; loss of innocence; untitled by Azure-Crystal; Altair x Malik, AltMal - Not What it Looks Like, AltMal Part 2 - Suck it Yourself

2) As a Tower Firmly Set: this is my new OTP

3) The Wanderers: beastdesigns by skywalker05 (concept art from one of the co-authors counts as fanart, right?)

4) The cover drawings for Battle of Eagles and And When the Earth... are by the ay-may-zing artist sixthdeadlysin.

5) German readers can find Battle of Eagles translated by the wonderful Hlaalu.

Check out: skywalker05, mumblybee. The former writes the best person/person/spaceship you've ever read, and the latter can be counted on for either ridiculous crackfic or heartbreaking Ezio angst. Also, everything I know about Kadar I learned from skywalker's Paths Not on the Map.

I love requests, challenges, constructive critiques, and reviews in general. Tell me what you think about my writing and I'll be happy...leave me one of those super-long, in-depth, really detailed reviews and I'll be really happy.