Don't come here looking for someone with writing skills, because you won't find one in me.
If you want a really good writer, my older sister, Parron, is sure to astound.
As for me?
I am but a worm when it comes to literature.
I am something of a critic, and I aim to eradicate illiteracy in the Sonic section (at least to an extent). Contrary to the claims of a few in recent times, I do not flame unless the author is someone who truly deserves it; this is under extremely rare circumstances.
If you, as an author, obey the site's rules of conduct, (no script format, no lyrics or songfics, etc.) and if you observe proper spelling, grammar, and punctuation, then I won't usually be displeased with your work; I don't know how to write a particularly praiseworthy piece of fiction, so my critique is limited to my ability, of which I am sorrily attempting to improve. You'd actually be surprised how low my expectations are for a satisfactory work of fiction.
If I come across a story that is of quality equal to or below that of my works written back in '06, I will try to help the author improve in as many ways as I can. If your fiction violates any of the script-format, ask-fic, or songfic bans, I will remind you of your wrongs, whether they be innocent mistakes or the result of ignorance.
Half of the reviews I leave are short, often too short, as well as confusing to many of those without open minds; the other half are long, too long, as well as being the result of my bad habit of shooting off my mouth (fingers?).
Every one of us to read, write, and review fiction for Sonic The Hedgehog is living a quixotic fantasy.
"You know, this is just silly. A blue cartoon hedgehog? And a stripper at that? It may be one thing to write about Sonic, but I've seen people who've written three stories for Sonic, four for Macbeth, two for The Catcher In The Rye, one for The Divine Comedy, and another three for The Crucible. Bizarre. I mean, it may not be wrong to write about such a silly thing, and we assure ourselves outwardly that such is so, yet something tells us that it's just plain unfit."
One concept I refuse to believe.
"Well, everything has to end somewhere, and besides, Archie does such a great job telling Sonic's story! We can write stories about Shadow getting drunk and the blue blur experiencing a random and humorous day, and if you don't like it, don't read it! It's all about RPing and living off the good reviews we receive!"
Another indignant approach. I disagree with that as well. Particularly that one.
Archie is ridiculous and stupid. So is the very concept of each canon Sonic The Hedgehog game. And Sonic X, don't forget that.
So why do references to each of the aforementioned sources turn up in my work?
AU.
I write things I refuse to believe in. I look at my own work with disgust scant seconds after I have submitted it.
I will eventually re-write most of what I had posted years ago, but until then, observe how every author starts out putrid and either remains so indefinitely or improves over time.
I now have my own forum, The Fireside. Come on in and share your OCs and opinions. I love to entertain.
Now for some fun. I've finally gotten a little better with links, but hardly.
Link 1: I can't stop laughing at this. I'm such a n00b. Copyright =Hail-NekoYasha. We all need to give proper credit where it's due, you know.
Link 2: Do not click here, PLEASE.
Link 3: I don't even remember how I found this in the first place.
Wasn't that just great? Each of us has now become stupider for having viewed these. For me, that's a good thing; I need to lose more brain cells.
Some extra shit:
"Look, you ass, you can't tell me what to write and what not to write, because this is FICTION. Get it? FanFICTION. It can be absolutely anything. I can't stand people like you, who always try and make others miserable. I can put in lyrics, I can script-format my fics, and, quite frankly, you're the only one who cares. No one ever even obeys the rules. Except you, you dumbass. You probably have no friends, and no life for that matter. I really don't get why flamers such as you exist. I've said this a million times and I'll say it again: if you don't like it, DON'T READ IT!"
To those of you who are reading my profile: do you actually think that's true? Honestly, the quote "if you don't like it, don't read it" is an idiotic scourge. Not to mention an eyespork. Not because it "hurts", but because The Minister cringes at the pompous ignorance and stupidity that many such speakers of that particular phrase hold. If you refuse to take even light criticism, you're as lousy a writer as Corey. If you accept "friendly" criticism, but snap at flat, unbiased criticism, then you need to rub your eyes and look again.
If you are capable of looking at your own work and yourself as an author, and actually realizing that your critics are correct in pointing out your story's flaws, then you have a brain. Congratulations.
Regardless, I have nothing more to say.
Adieu.
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