Location: Alberta, Matthew.
Age: Legal, if you're wondering.
Pen-name: Was Kuro Mizu-Kitsune, but I changed it again. P:
Sex: Looking forward to it! Take a guess.
Sexuality: Personally, I lean towards the opposite gender, but that doesn't stop me from flirting with, making out with, or acknowledging an attractive person of my own. I'll read anything, so long as I enjoy the pairing, so it doesn't matter.

CLAMP rules the universe and Hetalia makes everything better. Just so you know.

My ADF profile is here: http://anime2.adultfanfiction.net/authors.php?no=1296800305

The Top Ten Reasons Why Anti-Gay Marriage People Are Stupid:

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America. (Take that Fred Phelps!)

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans... Re-post this if you believe in legalizing gay marriage.

Sad, But True:

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.

Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it.

The story of Jack Schitt:

For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt!' Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced.

Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.

Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.

The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.

Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

Now when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can correct them.

Sincerely, Crock O. Schitt

"Honesty is the best policy but insanity is a better defense!"

"Be sincere even if you have to fake it."

"Blood is thicker than water, and much tastier!"

"Happiness is having a clear conscience... or none at all."

"Back Off! Your'e standing in my Aura."

"I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert."

"I'm not paranoid! Which of my enemies told you this?"

"I did NOT escape - they gave me a day pass!"

"I'm multi-talented: I can talk and piss you off at the same time."

"Do I look like a fucking people person!?"

"You!... Off my planet!"

"Yeah, though I walk through the valley of death, I will fear no evil, for I am the meanest son of bitch in the valley!"

"You're twisted, depraved, and rotten to the core... I like that in a person!"

"A mind is a terrible thing not to mess with."

"I'm cruel, nasty, neurotic, paranoid, antisocial, but basically happy."

"Revenge is a dish best served with a side of obsession and a nice tall glass of spite."

"Of course I'm out of my mind! It's dark and scary there!"

"Heaven doesn't want me and hell's afraid I'll take over."

"Tell your little voices to SHUT UP! I can't hear mine..."

"I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier."

"Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for."

"I do whatever the little voices tell me to do."

"Don't worry about life; you're not going to survive it anyway."

"Don't piss me off! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies."

"I'm extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end."

"I'm one of those bad things that happen to good people."

"I hear voices and they don’t like you."

"Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me the hell alone."

"If at first you don't succeed, redefine success."

"I've gone to look for myself. If I should return before I get back, keep me here."

"I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants."

I've got a lovely bunch of chibi-ukes,
There they are-a standing in a row...
Big ones, small ones, ones as big as your head!
Give 'em a seme (Look! They're a team!)
And off they go to bed!
Written by my good friend, SanzoChic. Thank you SanzoChic!!