I am Kolyaaa! I enjoy answering challenges, any kind of challenge. In fact, the more impossibly bad the challenge, the more likely I am to respond. I enjoy knives, poking people with them, and making things go boom. I also enjoy cows, insoluble riddles, loooong kayak rides against the current, moonlight strolls, cows, telemarketing and shaving horses – which I do the old fashioned way -- with a disposable Schick. I also lovepuppies – which taste like chicken when deep-fried. I like lizards.

I can whip you up a mean apple pie. Real mean. My apple pies are wanted for questioning by authorities in three states.

I am not dead

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1. Doom! » reviews

A fine story with smashed noses, dangling scientists, drugged colonels, broken bones, plunging jumpers, mashed glasses, bad reception, scary machinery, disappearing floors, SHARKS and an awful lot of water. Everyone gets hurt! You will love it. THE END

Complete - Stargate: Atlantis - Fiction Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 31 - Words: 114,308 - Reviews: 910 - Updated: 2-26-08 - Published: 1-16-08

2. The Next Event » reviews

Long lost sibling story! with naked women, feats of strength, a big fight, McKay punched in the face, cute fluffy creatures, beautiful fantastic beasts, blood! guts! GORE! Quicksand! SINK HOLES! Team fic w Beckett and best OFC ever! THE END!

Complete - Stargate: Atlantis - Fiction Rated: T - English - Adventure/Angst - Chapters: 27 - Words: 69,037 - Reviews: 636 - Updated: 4-30-06 - Published: 3-26-06

3. Stuck! » reviews

A very annoying regular character is turned into a kid. There are cuddly scenes, banter, insults, vomit, pink shoes, Wraith attacks, headaches, cool toys, infirmary scenes, & best darn story ever THE END

Complete - Stargate: Atlantis - Fiction Rated: T - English - Adventure/Angst - Chapters: 20 - Words: 55,689 - Reviews: 545 - Updated: 11-22-05 - Published: 11-9-05