FIFER'S CORNER
5-18-07
OMG I ACTUALLY UPDATED!
Yep, Akito's story has been updated and put in my blackberry for remembrance. It shall be updated regularly. ... 'cause, you know, blackberries beep and shit if you forget something. ... I think. I don't actually HAVE a blackberry, but if I did it would beep and remind me. Which we'll get me thinking beeping blackberry, AHA I HAVE TO UPDATE AKITO'S STORY! And stuff. Look, I was never okay to begin with!
Featured Thinker
~:$$:~ Carrie Green~:$$:~
Carrie Green is a 17 year old crazy boy who lives with his boyfriend Joey Brown. LZN and I have been thinking on making a random OC story for them, or something. But until that rolls around, enjoy some of Carrie's lines. BTW: Can Tak means Big God.
"Like I'm going to barf in THAT. Do you know what people DO in those!? People BARF in barf bags, Joey! And I'll be damned if I have to barf along with lesser people! ... in bags, by God... BAGS!"
"No, I don't do laundry, remember. When I signed the contract to be your boyfriend, I specifically checked the box of NO LAUNDRY."
"Shut up, I'm playing X-Box!"
"Look me up in the dictionary. It'll say, 'Carrie Green: noun. COWBOY OF SEX.' And if you don't believe me, here. Look it up. SERIOUSLY, LOOK IT UP!"
"Because Can Taks don't make their own sandwhiches, that's why."
"If I wanted to go to your mother's house, I would have dug myself a hole to Hell and bought a condo."
"We're out of Coca Colaaaaaa... Whyyyyyy are we out of Coca Colaaaaaaaa... I waaaaant Coca Colaaaaaaaaaa..."
"A BABY? Where on earth did you get one cheap enough to buy!?"
"I've always wanted a camel... So, I bought one and it's living in the dining room. DON'T YOU BOTHER IT OR SO HELP ME..."
"I see London, I see France, Joey's not wearing underpants... Hahahahhahaaaa! Ha, I'm so funny..."
"If you say you like Green Apple Jolly Ranchers I will punch you in the jaw..."
"I used to be able to juggle with knives. Then, some bad shit happened. ... and I've been banned from the circus ever since. SO I CAN'T REALLY RUN AWAY TO THEM, NOW CAN I!?"
"Everyting with CG on it is MINE. That's right, I see you looking at that pen. But too bad, it says CG on it. Know what CG stands for? CARRIE GREEN. As in ME. Meaning it's MINE."
"This baby makes me feel weird... It's-it's making me feel all warm and fuzzy inside... I HATE IT! TAKE IT AWAY!"
"That's 'cause Can Tak is here."
Carrie Green and Joey Brown: Coming Soon to a fanfiction.net near you!
Featured Story-ette
p I wrote this ditty for school. The assignment was to write about your neighborhood through the eyes of an outsider. Naturally, I went the extra mile and wrote mine like a journal entry from the eyes of some Nature Adventist. Just thought it'd be cool to put up on my favorite story site. /p
p ... oh and for the record, my mom's the naked skinny-dipper... /p
p align="center" strong Outsider's Perspective /strong /p
p align="center" strong Day 1 /strong /p
p If you haven't heard already, I was chosen specifically to observe a town called "SW Coronado St.". As I drive up, I note that it is actually a friendly little place, abundant in cats, dogs, little children, and old ladies skinny-dipping in their hot tubs. As I step out of my vehicle, I am struck by the amount of barking dogs and wandering house cats. One dog was exceedingly friendly toward my being, even managed to give my hand a licking. Then, she proceeded to use the restroom on another neighbor's lawn. Turning from my vantage point of the inconsiderate animal, I spotted a pack of people. Upon taking out my pocket encyclopedia, I identified them as "teenagers" judging by their unruly hair, low-hanging trousers, and frequent inappropriate use of the word "like". I kept my distance, knowing that this species of adolescent human could be dangerous. They passed me by, presumably to go "chill" with their "home dawgs" in the "crib". /p
p Adolescent speech confuses me so /p
p Putting aside my woes and dread for the future, I turned my gaze to a pleasant grey house that seemed to be the basis of my journey. I took comfort in seeing it, so peaceful and quiet. Until, I looked into the backyard. And woe to my poor virgin eyes! An old women skinny-dipping in her hot tub! The agony... /p
p Adjusting my tie, I quickly turned from the sight and looked across the street. No amount of therapy would ever fix that moment... I took heart in noting a lack of naked old women as I looked across the road. Up a ways was a cute little garden with a small fountain and rock set, belonging to an equally cute yellow house. To the left of that was a shabby but cozy looking grey house with a large white van in the front of it. I assumed he was a plumber or some sort of electrician. The grass on this strip of the road was a little overgrown, but the houses didn't look disgusting or mortifying. The main street was on the right of this strip of houses and grass, and continued down and then up a hill equip with speed bumps. As I watched, two rebellious youngsters rode their bikes down the dangerous downhill road. They weren't wearing any protective headgear or knee pads... That's unsafe! I expected to see a mother run out and scold them, but nothing. Everyone seemed so laid back here. /p
p I returned to my car to record the day's findings. /p
p align="center" strong Day 3 /strong /p
p I'm sorry I didn't record Day Two's findings for I was convinced to come to some neighborhood barbecue. It was actually quite fun and allowed me to study the specimens further. It was held up a street from the grey house and then down some near a cozy little yellow house. The neighbors were very friendly. The adults talked and chattered about good times, the teenagers hung out in a corner of the street party looking despondent and bored, and the little kids ran around playing imaginary games. Respectfully, the people moved out of the way of passing cars. All in all I was impressed by the social gathering of the Coronado Crew. /p
p As for Day Three, the only interesting thing thus far was the excitement of the neighborhood children as the ice cream truck rolled around. Apparently, he rarely comes to see this side of the neighborhood (reasons of choice, I'm guessing). But lo and behold, the cheery melody of "Camptown Races" chimed through the air, drawing young children like flies to its musical call. After they got their ice cream, the children retreated back to their parents or sat around on their lawns enjoying the treat. The tranquility was enjoyed by all. /p
p align="center" strong Day 4 /strong /p
p Isn't this strange! While observing the evening routine of the local kids sneaking out to go hang with each other, I encountered a creepy phenomena. The road adjacent to Coronado is very scary to walk on in the dark. Especially with the cars reeling past at unsafe speeds. The lighting was fine, it was just the atmosphere... I quickly returned to my car to see if i could scope out any last minute details before hitting the hay. By now I'd come to realize that the grey house is particularly noisy. They're either yelling about being too loud, yelling about who fed the dogs, yelling about grades, yelling about space, or yelling about being specific. They're like a family of fire trucks... /p
p I wonder how the neighbors feel about them... /p
p align="center" strong Day 5 /strong /p
p Hands down, this city is about as dramatic as a "Little Shop of Horrors" play. Everything seems to click into place. Someone needs sugar? No problem, just run over to the neighbor's who will undoubtedly have some in their cupboard. How about a wrench or a weed-whacker? That's a-okay, /p
p swing on by later and I'll have one for ya! I walk back to my car, content. This little town of SW Coronado is odd, but they work together like a well oiled machine. I am proud to say that I looked puzzled as I saw the women skinny-dipping and thought to myself, 'Isn't it a bit late for her to be taking a hot tub? Must have been a fight with the partner.' I had grown accustomed to this town. /p
p And that filled me with glee. /p
p ... And dread. /p
p I had gotten my taste of Coronado Street, and frankly it was like watching the movie "Eragon". Interesting at first, but after the second time enough was enough. /p
p I would be happy to return, however. Oh, and just a note to you if you do in fact visit SW Coronado St.? /p
p Just watch out for a certain backyard with a hot tub. /p
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