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Author has written 34 stories for Bartimaeus Trilogy, Shakespeare, Inkheart, Naruto, Death Note, and Hetalia - Axis Powers. There comes a time in life when you find someone your heart dissolves for. You can't control this, either, no matter how hard you try to rationalize what you're crazy heart is screaming at you. No matter how many times you've been hurt in the past, you feel completely devoted to this person and you want to spend every waking minute with them. All the painful things you've gone through just melt away, and you begin to forget what pain feels like at all. You spend so much time laughing, blushing, thinking about this person, that you forget what you suffered before. You forget that relationships were the whole reason you were suffering in the first place. You forget that pain, the one that drives all the light out of your heart and mind and swamps your soul in blackness. That is, of course, until that light-bearing person does something to hurt you - even if it is not intentionally - and you're back to square one, all over again. How can you continue trusting this other person after they've hurt you? They should've known that you were already broken, that they were your glue and key to real happiness. What is there left to feel when your happiness steals your heart away? How can one expect to go on living? Life is painful, my dear friends. All relationships will eventually wither and decay away into nothing. This is fact. But for every relationship that withers, another, newborn, relationship begins to grow out of the fertile soil. Yes, Jordan Sparks, love is a battlefield. It leaves your heart and mind scarred and wounded, and you feel like you'll never heal and move on. But, no matter how hard you try to stay solitary, seedlings begin to grow from the ashes left behind from that last relationship. Thing is, humans are pack creatures. No matter how hard we try to fight it, we end up trusting, idolizing, desiring, loving at least one other person. Nine out of ten times that person does something to punch you in the face or gut and you feel like you never want to trust anyone ever again. But, because we are so adaptive, we do. Every time. Perhaps that makes us fools. Perhaps we should just scorn those who hurt us for the rest of our lives and seek nothing but revenge on these people. Maybe that's why humanity is where it is right now. People will hurt you, my dearest friend, whether you're ready for it or not. Really, the only thing we can do about this is dissect what happened, what we should learn from it, and move on. Forgive them, even if they hurt you intentionally. It may take a year or more to get over the rage this person caused you, but do your best to overcome it. You will be so much happier if you just let them go. Because, really, who's loosing when you continue the hating and spite? You are. You get so wrapped up in the hate that you lose track of who you really are, of who you used to be, of who those people made you be. Because, admit it, even those that hurt you made you a different person. Let's hope it's for the better. Always, always find something positive to take from the ruins. Let those seedlings grow in that fertile soil. You deserve that much. Relationships are not my forte, unfortunately. For some reason I have no luck with them. But, from experience, this is what I'm learning: to take the positive seedlings and let them grow. Don't hold on to hatred and spite, because you're hurting no one but yourself. And why would you ever want to hurt yourself? Just recently, I've received some news that makes me feel like someone punched me in the stomach. I feel betrayed, lied to, used, abused, disgusted. There are probably more good adjectives, but I'll move on. What I'm trying to say with this whole thing is that no matter what someone does to you, you can't shut the rest of humanity out. There are good people out there - somewhere - and they're waiting for you. Even if they don't know it yet. They already love you. They've loved you all their lives and just haven't known. Remember that there is always, always, hope. Don't let yourself drown in that suffocating blackness when there's someone waiting for you, a beacon in hand. Just follow the light, and you'll be okay. Other Websites I'm On: I am known as the following: 'Anuksut' on DeviantArt (http://anuksut.deviantart.com/) ...Enjoy my pages. ;) | |||||||||
1. Riscatto » reviewsRomano has looked up to his younger brother for many reasons. Right now, it's for his skill in the love field. SpainxRomano, Spamano Rating increase for later chapters :Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 17 - Words: 41,738 - Reviews: 76 - Updated: 4-16-11 - Published: 11-13-10 - S. Italy/Romano & Spain2. Amore Del Gioco reviewsIt's Spain's birthday, but Romano doesn't have anything to give to him. Spain thinks of something. OneShot, Rated M for good reason. Spamano SpainxRomano yaoi!Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,273 - Reviews: 9 - Published: 4-11-11 - S. Italy/Romano & Spain - Complete3. Testament reviews"Eagerly, Britain looked through the spyglass and to the considerably large chunk of land that just continued to get larger as they approached. It was no small island, that was for sure." The story of how England discovered America and their relationship.Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,644 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 11-25-10 - England/Britain & America4. настоящая любовь reviewsBelarus loves her big brother, very much. Title means 'True Love.' RussiaxBelarus Rated M for good reason.Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,178 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 11-18-10 - Russia & Belarus - Complete5. Happy Birthday, England reviewsIt's England's birthday, but America didn't get anything for him. How will he repay his debt? USxUK Yaoi OneshotHetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,267 - Reviews: 10 - Published: 11-12-10 - England/Britain & America - Complete6. Appreciation reviewsEngland and America get together for a meeting, but America refuses to continue when it starts to rain. Then he shows England how grateful he is for everything he's done. USxUK OneshotHetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,998 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 11-9-10 - America & England/Britain - Complete7. Cat and Mouse reviewsAfter a long day, Light retires to his hideout and goes to bed. But then someone a little unwelcome appears. LxLight LightxL yaoi. Rated M for obvious reasons ;D OneshotDeath Note - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,432 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 6-5-10 - Light Y. & L - Complete8. Ptolemy's Return » reviewsKitty tries to find a way to reunite Bartimaeus and Ptolemy. But what happens when she gets caught up in murder, theft, and a plot of power? Rated T to be safeBartimaeus Trilogy - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Adventure - Chapters: 54 - Words: 50,891 - Reviews: 132 - Updated: 11-2-09 - Published: 5-19-069. A Flower's Last Petal » reviewsSeven-year-old Yamanaka Ino can't understnand why the villagers of Konoha shun little Uzumaki Naruto. She decides to become his friends. What happens then? Read to find out. Eventual NaruIno, some SasuSaku NaruSaku and InoSasuNaruto - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 4 - Words: 9,561 - Reviews: 27 - Updated: 7-5-09 - Published: 2-4-09 - Ino Y. & Naruto U.10. Eternal » reviewsBack when Deidara first joins the Akatsuki, our little blonde is having trouble adjusting to his new life and his new partner. With an apathetic Sasori leaving him in tears, will Deidara ever be able to adjust? SasoDei, DeiSaso yaoiNaruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 14,704 - Reviews: 23 - Updated: 5-15-09 - Published: 9-29-08 - Deidara & Sasori11. Fox Sculptures » reviewsA year after Sasori's death, and Deidara still can't get over the loss of his lover. Tobi, being the good boy that he is, gives Deidara some money and orders him to have fun and move on. Who does Deidara meet? None other than Naruto! DeiNaru, NaruDei yaoiNaruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 14,645 - Reviews: 39 - Updated: 5-7-09 - Published: 7-16-08 - Deidara & Naruto U.12. In My Final Moments reviewsA tribute to all shinobi who died, going in chronological order. Rated T for depressing stuff, and obviously death.Naruto - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,597 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 4-8-0913. Whispers in the Dark » reviewsA year before Itachi leaves with the Akatsuki, he meets Ino and falls in love with her. But obviously, at age eight, she isn't ready to love him. A story of how far a man is willing to go for the one he loves. ItaInoNaruto - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,874 - Reviews: 24 - Updated: 3-2-09 - Published: 9-30-08 - Itachi U. & Ino Y.14. A Demon's Temptation reviewsGaaSasu. On the one the year anniversary of Sasuke's abandonment of Konoha, Sasuke decides to visit Suna. Who does he encounter there, and what happens? GaaSasu SasuGaa yaoi.Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,876 - Reviews: 10 - Published: 2-14-09 - Sasuke U. & Gaara - Complete15. A Masochist's Pleasure reviewsDeidara is fed up with Sasori's painfully slow sex. Hidan is nearby. What does Deidara do? And how will Sasori react when he finds out? Read to find out! M Rated. HidaDei HidanDei DeiHidan DeiHida yaoi oneshotNaruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,509 - Reviews: 17 - Published: 2-10-09 - Deidara & Hidan - Complete16. Serrated Needles » reviewsTemari has always been an explorer. What happens one night when she visits her favorite building, the abandoned Akasuna household? Read to find out! SasoTemaNaruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 9 - Words: 20,306 - Reviews: 35 - Updated: 2-4-09 - Published: 7-30-08 - Temari & Sasori17. A Deer's Lament reviewsTwo days after Asuma's death, a hurt and depressed Shikamaru decides to leave Konoha in order to sort through the chaos of his mind. He takes a walk in the woods, but who meets him there? Read to find out! ShikaSasu SasuShika yaoi, rated T for nowNaruto - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,880 - Reviews: 13 - Published: 1-22-09 - Shikamaru N. & Sasuke U.18. Vermilion reviewsDeiIno Just Like You sequel. Deidara, Sasori, and Ino work together on their Akatsuki missions. On one of these missions, Ino discovers a way to save Naruto - one that would kill her. Tensions rise as she races to save Naruto's tainted soul. DeiIno, InoDeNaruto - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,339 - Reviews: 18 - Published: 10-30-08 - Ino Y. & Deidara19. Just Like You » reviewsInoDei fic. Ino, a severly depressed ANBU member, finds her life completely uphauled when she meets Deidara and Sasori of the Akatsuki, who take her with them. DeiIno, InoDei. Complete 10/8/08Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 14 - Words: 79,686 - Reviews: 78 - Updated: 10-8-08 - Published: 1-20-08 - Ino Y. & Deidara - Complete20. I'm a Demon reviewsUpon being stood up by Sakura, a hurt and broken Naruto goes with Temari back to Suna to see his good friend Gaara. What does he learn in Suna? That love is not only one form. NaruGaa GaaNaru yaoi.Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,689 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 10-1-08 - Naruto U. & Gaara21. Satisfaction » reviewsItaKisa and NaruSasu teaser. Slight yaoi, lemon, shounenai, whatever you wanna call it. Oneshot. Updated 7/19/08 for NaruSasu completion, requested.Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,022 - Reviews: 9 - Updated: 7-19-08 - Published: 11-1-07 - Complete22. Anata Bokki Suru reviewsSequel to Itadakimasu - another Sasodei smut! What happens now? Who knows? Read and find out. Oneshot. Sasodei, Deisaso.Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,427 - Reviews: 9 - Published: 7-11-08 - Deidara & Sasori - Complete23. Itadakimasu reviewsSasoDei yaoi. Rated M for a reason. Oneshot. shonenai, shonen ai blah blah blah.Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,172 - Reviews: 13 - Published: 3-20-08 - Deidara & Sasori - Complete24. Blind Eyes Don't Cry » reviewsSequel to 'Ascending to Darkness'. The story of Uchiha Ita and the debt she has to pay because of Sasuke and Sakura's mistake. AUNaruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 8 - Words: 55,745 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 1-19-08 - Published: 10-16-0725. Ascending Into Darkness » reviewsAU What did Konoha have left for them, anyway? Nothing but ill memories of blood and pain. The best thing for them would be to go and join the Akatsuki, where they could exact their revenge. DeiSaku, SasuSaku, NaruSaku, ItaSaku, GaaSaku, Rated M!Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 15 - Words: 51,180 - Reviews: 9 - Updated: 10-14-07 - Published: 9-7-07 - Complete26. Questions and Posibilities reviewschallengefic AscobolNathaniel OneShot I know the pairing's weird, but I was challenged to do it, and here it is. SEVERE AU!Bartimaeus Trilogy - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,415 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 5-17-07 - Complete27. InkLove » reviewsSet after InkHeart and InkSpell, so obvious spoilers. My version of the next book. Rated T to be safe, but rating might go up.Inkheart - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,900 - Reviews: 11 - Published: 1-30-0728. Behind Your Eyes reviewsWritten for Sanishal. OneShot Poem I wrote for either BartimaeusPtolemy slash or NatKitty.Bartimaeus Trilogy - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 141 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 11-28-06 - Complete29. What Happened? » reviewsMore then one Oneshot. As usual for me, dark. Rated T because of the second one. Completebut I may add more oneshots now and again. The people of the trilogy write 'letters' to Bartimaeus.Bartimaeus Trilogy - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 4 - Words: 1,522 - Reviews: 12 - Updated: 11-24-06 - Published: 7-27-06 - Complete30. Resilent reviewsOneShot Poem Kitty writes to Nathaniel after he died.Bartimaeus Trilogy - Rated: K - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 98 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 11-24-06 - Complete31. Good Enough reviewsOneShot KittyNathaniel. Inspired by Evanescence's Good Enough. Short, sweet, and to the point.Bartimaeus Trilogy - Rated: K - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 305 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 10-27-06 - Complete32. Who Shall Be Hanged? reviewsMacbeth. Title says it all. OneShot on who should be hanged for the things that happened.Shakespeare - Rated: K - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,048 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 10-11-06 - Complete33. I'm Still Not Over You reviewsWritten for fans of the NatKitty combo, since people are telling me I should do something to that affect. OneShot.Bartimaeus Trilogy - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 876 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 9-24-06 - Complete34. I Never Understood Why reviewsOneshot: Bartimaeus reflects on Ptolemy. Hmm, that's about it. I had to use Notepad, so italics and such are not present. There is also no boundry between the Author's Note and the story.Bartimaeus Trilogy - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 415 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 7-17-06 - Complete
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