Author has written 1 story for Final Fantasy VII.

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MS Report

MS Society

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"WUV MEH CUZ I AHM THE COOLIES!1111"

:coughs: Seriously, this is where I shall be archiving all FFVII Mary Sue/Gary Stu/Original Character/Self Insert related ficcage... purely for my own enjoyment. Please, do not feel offended if you find yourself archived here.

Parody fics and MS’s that I got a kick out of can be found under Favorite Authors. All fics, good and bad, are listed under Favorite Stories and my C2. Also note I did, at the very least, skim through each fanfic involved to make sure the Mary Sue/Gary Stu is the genuine article.

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Q: What is a Mary Sue?

A: "She's amazingly intelligent, outrageously beautiful, adored by all around her -- and absolutely detested by most reading her adventures. She's Mary Sue, the most reviled character type in media fan fiction. Basically, she's a character representing the author of the story, an avatar, the writer's projection into an interesting world full of interesting people whom she watches weekly and thinks about daily. Sometimes the projections get processed into interesting characters, themselves. Usually, though, they don't." Mary Sue Explained

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Some great MS reviews:

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Masochistic Tendencies
2005-10-16
ch 92, anon.

You know, I can't really bring myself to draw up the pain and hatred you've inspired in me since your fic Shinra High.

I was innocent and naive to the horrors of fanfiction before I read this fic, and dear gods am I glad to be a slash fangirl (thus my tendencies usually keep me from venturing into this sort of thing) now.

I read your ENTIRE Shinra high fic, found maybe a trace of plot. I read halfway through this fic and just about died at chapter 60. I just couldn't go on. You know, I even found myself creating a mantra. Something along the lines of 'Julia isn't a real preson, nobody real could believe that this was a good idea. Julia is just the side effect of some virused pixels that accumulated into a full-fledged diseased bit of the internet.'

I'm sorry, I really am. The original characters are way off in their characterization. And your angst is as fake and cheap as mine is when I fake-whine about 'how nobody will ship my crack pairings and how it makes me sad.'

It's kind of pathetic in the long run. And I'm pathetic for reviewing like this, I know I am. And I know that your friends will most likely attack me and peel the skin off my arms with grapefruit spoons and pour salt on the bleeding appendages afterwards.

Anyway, if you're as big a Sephiroth fan as you say you are, you'd KNOW that this isn't what he would do. Sephiroth wouldn't LOVE anybody, and if he did, I don't believe it wouldn't have been somebody like Julia. Maybe if she had a personality like Zack, as Zack HAD been his ONLY friend.

Anyway, I'm sorry, I really am. I tried to like your story. I tried to see where you were coming from. But I COULDN'T. I think it's beyond my capability.

Sorry, again -
Masochistic Tendencies

http://www.fanfiction.net/r/1900045/0/1/

Mary Sue's Note: Hn... I'll ship yer crack pairings... if I get to be their SUPAH SP3SHEL WUV CHILD!111one2 And I must have laser beam eyes. I demand some friggin’ laser beams... And chainsaw hands.

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bridgedweller
2005-09-26
ch 90, reply

You know.

I was going to flame your fik, but I honestly don't think you're mentally stable enough to be able to handle it.

..have fun writing.

http://www.fanfiction.net/r/1900045/0/1/

Mary Sue's Note: I love this one, simple & to the point!

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OnionBreath
2005-10-07
ch 7, reply

Yeah, I have a good suggestion for you, since you asked. STOP WRITING. Honestly, I think the world would thank you if you did. I know I would.

Remember me? Because I remember you. It's awfully rude to say you wish someone would die, and that you'd be happy if they did, without even knowing them. It's also awfully stupid to say something like that in a signed reply to a review of a terrible Mary Sue when you have one of your own sitting on your page. Did you think I wouldn't come see what kind of crap you were writing? And before you come back with your typical "Oh yeah, well you don't have any fanfics posted so why are you flaming REAL writers?", let me point out that it is entirely possible to have more than one account. There just happen to be none on this account, mainly because we know you and your little Mary Sue-writing friends would feel it necessary to flame anything posted on here. We don't want that now, do we? It would just be mean...like what we do to you.

Let's take this a chapter at a time, shall we?

Chapter 1: The fun never stops does it?
My god, can you think of nothing more original than " Mary Sue and Friend wake up in strange place (aka other world of insert fandom here"? Either think of a better plot idea, or compensate readers for brain cells they lose when they beat their head on the wall from the complete and total unoriginality. I'm sure you could excercise your feeble brain and think of SOMETHING.

At least one of these Mary Sues is a college student, so I'm assuming you or your friend are one as well. I'm not entirely sure how you managed to pass English class and graduate highschool at all.

Odd, isn't it, that this fic was started before Advent Children even came out? It's painfully obvious, because the characters you're using are horrifically out-of-character compared to their actual personalities. If you really find it necessary to write Mary Sues, at least watch/read/play whatever it is you're using characters from before writing the piece of crap fanfiction.
"Wasn't there two of you?" Read that to yourself, or outloud, and decide if it really makes sense. I can tell you...IT DOESN'T. That would be like someone saying "Wasn't you reading that book before?" It's supposed to be "Weren't..." but that's something learned in those English classes you were skipping out on.

A cattle-prod? Is that what you think it is? I'm sure Reno spends a lot of time in the country electrocuting cows.

Ok, now any mature writer knows that something full of simple sentences is just...bad. There are numerous different types of sentences you can use, but I think it might be a bit much for your brain to handle if you think about it too much. For example, I guess if you really wanted to you could put in a complex sentence. That would make your story a little more bearable to read. Your sentences are full of comma splices (Go back up to your school and pay for a college class on English, and this time actually pay attention rather than skipping out and smoking pot) and run- ons whenever there is a sentence long enough. People all over the world who read your story out loud just died from the lack of oxygen.
Now, a story full of diologue is really annoying too. If you are going to write a story, then fucking write a story, not just a bunch of dialouge. Are they moving? Are they screaming? Are they suffocating from the lack of breathable air? What? Non-stop dialouge makes a story immature and bad.

I really want to go read this Red Dream fic too. If it's as good as yours, we should have a blast.
My main complaint about this fic, other than the horrendus grammar, is the stupid ass plot. Just reading the last couple of lines serously makes me want to projectile vomit 532708 miles to the moon. I mean, my God. How UNORIGINAL can you possibly be? I don't even fucking know, but we shall move on regardless.

Chapter two: I think I slipped in puddles that were known as my eyes.
Before I go on with my main rants against this chapter, I'm going to take some time to rant on another huge pet peeve of mine. Ok, these two chicks just woke up in a strange room, on a strange planet, full of strange men, and they are PERFECTLY ACCEPTING OF THOSE FACTS. Why! If you woke up in a weird room full of strangers, would you say "Hey, cool beans!" or would you say something closer to "Get me out of here!"? So why the hell is it that Mary Sues just seem to think something like this is awesome? There's no more makeup, McDonald's, MTV cable tv, internet, and most likely the new society is entirely different from America. I just don't get it. How about a Mary Sue who suffers enormous culture shock? That would be slightly more realistic.

Now onto the rants for this chapter!

Does Bugenhagen miss having his Planetarium? I'll bet he does, since apparently it was stolen by a certain group of men with silver hair. That makes absolutely no sense, but I really shouldn't be surprised by this anymore.

SEEKED? Do you have any clue that "seek" has a past tense, and that it isn't "seeked"? Look up this word in your dictionary: SOUGHT. And how in the darkest pits of hell could people be looking for something without any clue what it was? "Well I'm looking for this one thing, but I don't know what it looks like or where it is or ANYTHING!"
Here's something else that doesn't make sense at all...If they were going to replace the girls' bodies with clones, A. Where would the clones come from, and B. Why wouldn't they have done that while they were apparently passed out earlier instead of waiting for them to wake up and act like the Mary Sues they are? It just goes to show the total lack of logical thoughts in your brain.

Yuffie is just about the most random character to have in this fanfiction! AGH! She doesn't ever even meet them in the movie!

Ok, now anyone unfortunate enough to have read this festering pus-pile before they saw the movie has had a major spoiler just thrown down their throats. You have no common courtesy, on top of your lack of originality and logical thought, when you don't even bother to put a warning that this piece of crap contains a MAJOR spoiler for the movie. Thanks a lot, assclown.

Our dear Sephy-chan is WAY out of character. I am sure you have played the game at least and KNOW that he would never EVER, EVER act like that. I can give you slight slack for making the three silver haired men out of character seeing is how you obviously didn't see the movie, but Sephiroth? I mean COME ON! He is a bastard. He wouldn't be all kind to two random chicks, he would probably stab them. Kadaju is not nice either. He would never say 'ditz' either. NONE OF THEM WOULD EVER DO ANYTHING YOU SAY THEY ARE DOING!

Chapter 3: Vaporized Brain
A T-rex? A freaking T-rex? WHAT THE HELL? I mean seriously...Have you gotten two things confused? I remember there were dinosaur things in FFVI, but there weren't any in VII. Get it straight, or don't write fanfictions. It's just that simple.

"Though these men were obvious enemies of the rest of the planet, this place was safe for them to stay" This sentence, on its own, would shriek "MARY SUE!" louder than almost anything else in this revolting pile of shit. It makes me feel physically sick to read garbage like this.

This chapter is just plain revolting...why must you make these people happy! They are not! They are evil! They don't act like this! I hate to beat the dead horse, but you have fucking murdered it and burned it and pissed all over its remains!

Chapter 4: Holy crap, I would rather have the Apocylipse happen over reading this fic
What the hell? Has this suddenly turned into a Matrix crossover without any warning? Because those little outhouse-'dream chambers' sure as hell seem like it.

Barf...If you really feel the urge to write "dreamt" instead of "dreamed", at least use that jewel of an invention called "Spell Check". It works wonders, believe me. There is no 'p' in 'dreamt'!

Let me get sometihng straight. Mary Sue 1 & 2, until recently, had no idea they were from this other planet, right? So how the fucking hell does she know Nibleheim is her birth town? Is there a collosal sign in the town square saying "WELCOME HOME MARY SUE! WE MISSED U!"? Or has she suddenly developed psychic abilities, which is much more likely considering that she is in fact a Mary Sue.

When you were writing this chapter, I have to assume that you'd already seen Advent Children. I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt. If that's the case, I'm sure you must have noticed something in regards to fighting with the silver-haired men...it's relatively hard to do. (Unless, of course, you are entirely oblivous to anything other than the "omgzor Hot GuyZ!1!1" on the screen) Why is it that Mary Sues inevitably can beat the crap out of someone who beat the crap out of everybody else who tried to fight him at first? It's much more likely that she would've wound up with that nifty double-bladed sword shoved through her pathetic Mary Sue guts. But hey, that's ok...I'm sure she would've wound up pulling the Holy Materia out of her ass, saving herself AND turning the offending villain from his evil ways. After all, she's Mary Sue. Excuse me while my insides boil out through my nose, ears, and eyes.

I must give Kudos to you for making me laugh though. Your shitty writing style and your horrendus OOC make me laugh because it is so bad. When I read it out loud I realise how bad it truly is, and it makes me laugh.

'"Hey. Don't be scared...wimp. I'm...sigh...here to protect you. That shit's never gonna happen to you if my brothers and I can help it."

He gradually began to feel her calm down, and soon she was asleep on his hardened abs. Smiling once more, he drifted to sleep thinking,' This line was the best. It just screams retardation and stupidity and Mary Sue and crappy writing and ridiculous adjectives. Kadaju would not feel sorry! boihdishgifush fiuasishaiuhsa ARG! I can't even get all my hatred out into words!

Chapter 5-8

Crap, Crap and more Crap! I can't even type this anymore, feel lucky, otherwise this could have been a hell of alot longer. But, who knows, we might come back for round two.

Now for some spontaneous poetry:
Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
Your out-of-character fanfiction violently sucks
And so do you.

P.S. Did you notice that I never once said anything like "What a bitch! I'd be totally happy if they died!" ? That's because I'm not an immature little jackass like yourself.
P.P.S. Remember to actually watch something before writing crappy fanfictions next time. It's obvious when you don't do it.

http://www.fanfiction.net/r/2576770/0/1/

Mary Sue's Note: Beautiful~ Such a wonderful critique!111 :applauds:

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Mellinia
2002-11-02
ch 1, reply

um. . . .SO if raz is Lucrecia's and vincent's son and lucrecia is Sephiroth's mother and Tanli is Sephiroth's daughter so lucrecia is Tanli's grandmother and Raz is Lucrecia's son that makes Raz and Tanli related so therefore they should not get romanticly involeved because they would have a brain dead ugly baby.Besides that. . .this fic is good keep up the good work._~

~Mellinia~

http://www.fanfiction.net/r/1043420/0/1/

Mary Sue's Note: Dood... I think my brain went splody trying to decipher that... need... to...flowchart! oO;;;;;;;

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irenadel
2004-08-08
ch 1, reply

Excuse me people... I think... NO! I know that you are losing the point of Irene's review!
Julia dear, first of all, there's something called...CANON and you, person of high moral standards, have just RAPED it. And indeed it was sad. Cause first of all... I doubt Sephi will date anyone... EVER. And much less your angst drama queen dull character.
And for god's sake woman he is a fictional character! You can't whine about how he is paired with other characters! P-A-T-H-E-T-I-C.
Your pathetic and out of reality adoration for Sephiroth is no reason to insult homosexuality.
Your story is a badly written version of dawsons creek, saved by the bell, even sabrina!
All you are doing is stereotyping and killing the poor, poor canon. ( please let's all cry for it SOB)
And you almost doing a joke of domestic violence! it is just unreal the picture you give of it. You dont scream to peaple you dont know that you daddy beats you ,you are rediculizing the hole thing! And...Zack wouldnt do that! We all know your Julia is stronger why would he suddenly be able to beat her up? please explain me...i need logic! no wait.. your "story" needs logic and realism.
And i have to repeat OOC! OOC! Hello he was sephiroths only friend!
Ok i think im done...please think a little people.

http://www.fanfiction.net/r/1052718/0/2/

Mary Sue's Note: Erm... Reality isn't in question here... Considering she can talk with Sephiroth on THE ASTRAL PLANE. Yes, you read that right. Now move along folks, nothing to see here... Wow, my mind just broke!

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