Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain,
Through me the way that runs among the lost.
Justice urged on my high artificer;
My maker was divine authority,
The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
And I endure eternally.
Abandon every hope, ye who enter here. -Dante's Inferno

"Come join the Dark Side. We have cookies." "Nonono, come join the vampires. We have Edward Cullen." -sign I saw on dorm room door

"Heaven make thee free of it. I follow thee...You that look pale and tremble at this chance/That are but mutes or audience to this act...If thou didst ever hold me in thy heart/Absent thee from felicity awhile/And in this harsh world draw thy breath in pain/To tell my story...The rest is silence. -dies-" -Austin Tichenor as Hamlet (Act V, Scene II); The Complete Works of William Shakespeare Abridged as performed by the Reduced Shakespeare Company

"All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand." (unknown)

"Ack! AaaHHhhh! I don't know what the hel—I need my sand!!!" -Liam O'Brain; voice of Gaara from Naruto while playing Guitar Hero III Legends of Rock (Later he says, "I got one...by accident." referring to a note)

"Death is the ultimate negative. It's not being. You can't not be on a boat." "I've frequently not been on boats." "No, what you've been is not on boats." -Guildenstern and Rosencrantz; Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead

"I love animals - they taste great!" -Bumper Sticker

" -laughs- Out of all his opponents, she's the only one who beats him every time." -Botan talking about Keiko; YuuYuu Hakusho, ep. 8

"Had I not known I was already dead, I would have mourned for the loss of my life." (unknown)

"Whoa! Listen to those wicked dueling guitar solos! It's like squeedly vs. meedly over here. Go squeedly! Go squeedly! SQUEEDLY WINS! -Strong Bad; Trogdor, Guitar Hero 2

"Okay look 10:30 is early in the morning to me. I was up late crying." "You were...what?" "I really desperately miss my wife, okay? ...and I got into the liquor cabinet." -Loki and Sheryl; The Modern Edda

"Dwarven vow number seven!" "Justice and love will always win!" "Ughh, I hate that saying." -Collete, Genis and Lloyd; Tales of Symphonia

"The + IRS = Theirs." (unknown)

"E-coli has just been run over by amoaningho...E-coli has just been sniped by amoaningho...E-coli got bashed by amoaningho." "Alright, who the heck is 'amoaningho'?!?!?!?" "Weelllll...on weekends..." -Halo voiceover in multiplayer mode, Me and then about three different guys in the room; at a Halo party

"So is it good or bad whenever you correct Microsoft Word's English?" -Me

"Assume that the universe has been expanding since the planck time. Calculate the necessary value for omega (the destiny of the universe as expressed by a ratio of the gravitational forces and expulsion forces) for all of creation to neither collapse nor expland into formless emptiness eons ago. Calculate omega for a universe that does not expand until after the planck time. Failure to show your work will result in your mysterious and contrived death." -Door from 8-bit Theatre

"If I murder him today I won't have to worry about him assassinating me tomorrow." (unknown)

"Hey Redcloak, I need some of your evil cleric mojo." "Ah of course, Master Lich. What do you require?" "I need to Speak with Dead." "...Um. OK, hello Master, how are you today? This is lovely weather we're-" "Not me you moron!" -The Lich and Redcloak; The Order of Stick

"The only right is what is after my constitution, the only wrong, against it." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

“While I have no clue what you’re saying, I have deduced that your imagination has no coherence whatsoever.” -Ootori Kyouya talking about Suou Tamaki; Ouran High School Host Club

"...But what I'd really like to do is Wayne's World for a living. It might happen. Sheah. And monkey's might come outta my butt." -Wayne; Wayne's World

"Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine." (unknown)

"God is like...like a shamrock!" "Oh great and mightly shamrock-" "No! Nonono, it's a metaphor." "Oh great and mighty metaphor-" "No, I...it...ARGH!" -St. Patrick and the Pagans; Veggie Tales

"Dud3, plan. I set all of this cardboard on fire. You make for the trap door and I'll dive through the window. One of us might survive. Maybe." - Largo; Megatokyo

"I don't know half of you half as well as I should like and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve." -Bilbo Baggins; Lord of the Rings the Fellowship of the Ring

"In the shadows for all of time..." (unknown)

"Rock, Paper, Scissors in the eye!" -Black Mage; 8-bit Theatre

"Wait…you’ve been stalking me?” “Yeah, half the people in this village do." -Mistress Zelda in her Harvest Moon story, Jill and Bob saying the lines.

"When it comes to disappointing...you never disappoint." -Strong Bad; homestarrunner.com

"Well, we only have our lives to loose." (unknown)

-Yuki drops his backpack on Shigure's head- "Ow -rubs forehead- What have you got in that bag? Dictionary?" "No. Two of them." -Yuki and Shigure Sohma; Furuba

"I feel pretty, oh so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and...NOT GAAAAAY!!" -One of my guyfriends

"God and Man love birds. God made trees. Man made cages." -The Fortuna Saga; fortunasaga.com

"Amnesia used to be my favorite word but I kept forgetting it." (unknown)

"Morituri te salutant." "Those who are about to die salute you." -Latin Phrase English Translation, Coliseum combatants would say this to the Emperor before fighting

"I am the Puppet Master and everything is my puppet." -Me

"The world will be in a consitant state of tourmoil as long as there are people in it!" -Foamy the Squirrel

"War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left." (unknown)

"Farwell my shadow, you who stand at the end of the path I chose not to follow." -Mithos; Tales of Symphonia

“This world consists of infinite fables that foolish people would never understand. And humans are only distant travelers who hide their faces underneath their masks. Everything is just like a fantasy...it goes up and disappears, just like a short-lived tune.” -Citizen of Reverence; Baten Katos: Eternal Wings and the Lost Ocean

“So I thought to myself, a little fermented curd will do the trick. So I curtailed my Walpolling activites, sallied forth and infiltrated your place of purveyance to negotiate the vending of some cheesy comestibles.” “Come again?” “I want to buy some cheese.” -The Monty Python Cheese Shop Sketch

"There are two types of pedestrians, the quick and the dead." (unknown)

"Saying 'I apologize' and saying 'I'm sorry' are the same...unless you're at a funeral." -Demetri Martin

"The only times you say what I'm thinking, it's without sarcasm and therefore the exact opposite of what I mean." "Maybe it's because the only times I'm not thinking what it is you aren't saying is when you're thinking but I'm talking." "What does that mean?" ... "I have no idea." -Black Mage and Fighter; 8-bit Theatre

"It just goes to show that no matter how much a monkey evolves, he’s still a monkey." -Baby talking about Goku when Goku transformed into beast form just before becoming a SS4; DBGT

"It is yourself you fight and yourself you hate." (unknown)

"I'm going to bed before either of you come up with another brilliant idea for getting us killed. Or worse, expelled!" "She really needs to straighten out her priorities." -Hermonie to Ron and Harry, Ron to Harry; (movie?)

"You know, the thing about you immortal stone guys is that you're immortal...and...made out of stone... I sound like Mikey." -Raphael; TMNT

"Spiderpig, Spiderpig. Does whatever a spiderpig does. Can he swing, from a web? No he can't, he's a pig. Look out, he is a spider pig." -Homer; The Simpsons Movie

"The darkness falls and will cover and destroy those who resist." (unknown)

"Washing my hair, washing my hair...wait a minute, this isn't a shampoo, this is a dog..." -Billy; Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy

"If I were a betting man, I'd bet that Hiei resorts to desperate measures soon." "If?" "Well I killed all of the betting partners." -Sakyo and Younger Toguro; YuuYuu Hakusho

"Because he is thoroughly aware of his own knowledge and skills, he doesn't panic or become hotheaded in the midst of battle. And that is how, even if he finds himself in the worst fix, he can calmly retreat." -Asuma Saratobi about Shikamaru;Naruto

"There are three types of people in this world: those who can count and those who can’t." (unknown)

"I think batteries are the most dramatic objects of all the objects. Cause other things, they stop working or they break. But batteries...they die..." -Demetri Martin

"If you hate me forever for doing you the injustice of splitting up a comic into these dreaded non-full page installations, drop on by and let me know. But be expected to deal with my man-tears." -Brian; nuklearpower.com

"I sense a disturbance in the force." "You always sense a disturbance in the force." -Luke Skywalker and Kyle Katarn; Jedi Knights: Jedi Academy

"Wind blows, Fire burns, Rain falls, Earth grows. Protect Life until Death." (unknown)

"That is the sound of inevitability...that is the sound of your death." -Agent Smith; Matrix

"How will we get back to from once where we were?" -Ed; Ed, Edd and Eddy

"Sire! I have new from abroad!" "That's no way to speak of my wife." -A Ranger and King Steve; 8-bit Theatre

"When captured birds grow wiser, they try to open the cage with their beaks. They don't give up, because they want to fly again." (unknown)

"Knock knock!" "Um...who's there?" "Interrupting coefficient of friction!" "Interrupting coefficient of friction wh-" "MU!" -Quilt and Mrs. Deegan; Dominic Deegan

"Bingo!" "Scrabble!" -Spike and Whitey; Flushed Away

"It can be a hat...or a brooch...or a pterodactyl!" -Johnny; Airplane

"If you don’t want an excuse, don’t demand an explanation." (unknown)

"Oh sweet zombie Jesus on a pogo-stick! We're screwed!" -Black Mage; 8-bit Theatre

"The secret of happiness is to make others believe they are the cause of it." -Al Batt

"FOLLOW THAT CAR, GODZILLIA -- AND STEP ON IT!!" -Bumper Sticker

"I am something you will never understand." (unknown)

-as Hatori and Ayame are leaving- “So are we walking?” “I brought the car.” “Good! Can I drive?!” “No.” –Ayame and Hatori Sohma; Furuba

"It's always wet during rainy days." -A friend who said this and looked extremely profound...we all just kind of stared.

"A day without sunshine is...night." -Me in response to the person who said above quote. We all just laughed.

"I look handsome, I look smart, I am a walking work of art." (unknown)

"After this, the only games I'm gonna produce are violently depraved kichiku bloodbaths." -Megatokyo

"In legend lies truths too big for facts to hold." Gannish; Darkened Skye

"Fortune's tappin' at my elbow!" "That was me telling you not to be stupid." -Yusuke and Genkai; YuuYuu Hakusho

"There are only two things we can be sure of in this world: change and death." (unknown)

-dressed up as a bush, stealing a bike- "Ow...ow...ow...owww!-is seen- Uh...I mean...bush...bush...leaves...branch...um...berries..." -Strong Bad; homestarrunner.com

"I've got two left feet. Literally." -Quilt; Dominic Deegan

“Has the independent Lotsm found the time to permit a lowly ningen male's existence within her routines?” “The only males in my routines right now happen to be youkai ones and unfortunately they don't exactly exist on the same plane of consciousness as I do.” -A friend of mine and me

"The circle is now complete, when I left you I was but the learner. Now I am the master." (unknown)

"Support Bacteria! It's the only culture some people have." -Bumper sticker

"I don’t want what I don’t have, I want more of what I do have." -Quote from a Magic the Gathering card

"Use your weapons, they are designed to inflict damage!" -Red Mage; 8-bit Theatre

"Where the food is, I is." (unknown)

"Time is but our playmate whose toys are divine." -Thomas Wentworth Higginson

"I think I’m going to have a heart attack and die from not surprised!" -Iago; Aladdin

"No, you don't get it. You just think you get it, which isn't the same as actually getting it. Get it?" -Kakashi; Naruto

"Quick, pick a color from one to ten!" (unknown)

"I like that plan. Needs a sword fight in the middle but we can burn that river when we cross a bridge over a bush with two birds in glass houses...That really got away from me after 'sword fight.'" -Fighter; 8-bit Theatre

"Shave the whales." -Scott Adams; Title of a Dilbert book

"I don’t relate to people I’m related to." -Calvin; Calvin and Hobbes

"Simplicity of character is the natural result of profound thought." (unknown)

"Dreams are merely a shadow of reality. Or is it that reality is merely a shadow of dreams?" -Me

"Ooooo yes! And while your friends are collecting seven magic spheres to wish you back to life, you can train with the secret martial arts master who lives here in the afterlife!" "...Really?" "No, not really, you moron! Does this look like Dragon Ball Z to you?!?" "Could have fooled me, that last battle was long enough..." -Fighter's Dad and Fighter; Order of the Stick

"Everyone is in the rat race but even if you win, you're still a rat." -Random snippet of a political show that I caught while I was flipping through channels on the TV

"The world and me are best friends! ...except for a few jerks here and there." (unknown)

"Follow the butterflies! Follow the butterflies! WHEEE! La la la l-" "Ronicus, explodicus!" "AHH!" BOOM -Ron and Hermione; Potter Puppet Pals

"Ah, the mirthmobile." -Wayne; Wayne's World

“Well they’ve burned their skin, shortened their breath and somehow lost their shirts. All together I’d call it a successful fight!” -Koto; YuuYuu Hakusho

"That's facinating. Shut up." -Sarda; 8-bit Theatre

"Defend me from my friends; I can defend myself from my enemies." (unknown)

"He who fights and runs away, lives to fight another day." -Sheriff of Nottingham; Robin Hood

"Never try to alphabetize your skittles." -Me correcting the quote 'Never try to alphabetize your M&M's' because you can alphabetize them by making M and W

"If you are what you eat, I could be you in the morning." -Mandy; GAoBaM

"I'm going to have to hurt you on principle." (unknown)

"Pyro pixie being difficult again. I'll have to smack him to get him to behave." -Vitanie Tora about Hiei in a review

"How come you got only one eye? Are you sensitive about it? Because if I had only one eye, I would be sensitive about it. You should wear an eye patch like a pirate, then all you need is a puffy shirt. Do you own a puffy shirt? You look like you would." Billy; GAoBaM

"She's strong and scary. I bet she's single." -Kabuto; Naruto

"I'm lost. I've gone to find myself. If I come back before I return, have me wait." (unknown)

"I don't get it. What's that jerk got that I don't got?" "You mean besides a grasp of grammar?" "Me talk good!" -Black Mage and White Mage; 8-bit Theatre

"There will come a moment when you will have a chance to do the right thing." "I love those moments, I like to wave at them as they go by." Elizabeth and Jack; PotC

"What would I wish for now if I saw a falling star across the night sky?
The promise I made with you as you left on your journey is always in my heart
I want to hear you voice on nights I can’t sleep;
We talked all night until dawn
Your face shone brightly as you spoke of your dreams
The light of the stars shines down upon both you and me
You follow your dreams and I watch over you protectively.
I held back my tears as you left, not wanting you to look back." –Colette, Presea, Raine, and Sheena (not necessarily in that order); Tales of Symphonia. They sing this song while in the hot spring.

"If you strike me down I shall become more powerful than you can ever imagine!" (unknown)

-after tripping Kyo, Hatasuharu looks at audience- “By the way, what I just did was very dangerous and if that had been anyone other than Kyo they’d probably have been hurt pretty badly so don’t try this at home.” “Don’t try it here!! Who are you even talking to?!?” –Hatsuharu and Kyo Sohma; Furuba

"I am known as Captain Deadwood The Heartless...but don't let the name fool you...I'm not really a captain." -Captian Deadwood; GAoBaM

"So then I was like 'Avada Kedavra!!' and he was, like, dead." -Voldemort (not really, but it made me laugh a little to picture him saying it. You can insert the sound effects we all know he would totally use)

"Children in backseats cause accidents and accidents in backseats cause children." (unknown)

"Since things can't possibly get any worse, Red Mage, we turn to you." "Prepare to be proven wrong!" -Thief and Red Mage; 8-bit Theatre

"Some days you drink the milk...some days the milk drinks you." -Mandy; GAoBaM

"In the wild, there is no health care. In the wild, health care is, 'Ow, I hurt my leg. I can't run. A lion eats me and I'm dead.'" -Dwight Schrute; The Office

"If I had a heart, this would be where I die laughing." (unknown)

"Oh great! What else could go wrong today?!" "Well you could make me angry, but I wouldn't advise it." -Krillen and Picollo; DBZ

"Wake me for the end of the world. -goes to sleep-" -Hiei; Yu Yu Hakusho

"Save the earth! It's the only planet with chocolate." -Bumper Sticker

"He must fear many, whom many fear." (unknown)

"Vjun? I hear it's a big, dead rock." "It also happens to be the location of one of Darth Vadar's strongholds." "Ooookaaay. So it's a big, dead, important rock." -Kyle Katarn and Luke Skywalker; Jedi Knights: Jedi Academy

"Sometimes, love hurts, Pud'n...and I love you a lot. -proceeds to beat Pud'n up-" -Evil Bunny; GAoBaM

"Dnim rouy tor lliw snootrac." -Mandy; GAoBaM

"We all go a little mad sometimes." (unknown)

-thinking to himself- "The most gorgeous woman in the universe is talking to you! Time to turn on that patented Black Mage charm and make a good first impression." -speaks out loud- "I am the Black Mage! I casts the spells that makes the peoples fall down." "...Of course you are. I'm going in here now. Please don't follow me." -thinks again- "I think she likes me!" -Black Mage and White Mage; 8-bit Theatre

"Weird. My mouth tastes like...backwards." -Strong Bad; homestarrunner.com

-after finding the way back to the front of a cave- "Finally! We've made it back to the entrance!" -Fighter thinking to himself- "Wait a second..." -speaks out loud- "You fools! We're looking for the exit! We can't very well get out this way! It's all wrong! We'll have to turn around and find a proper exit." -White Mage and Fighter; 8-bit Theatre. (You have to understand the fact that Fighter is really stupid)

"When life throws you lemons, make orange juice. Then sit back and laugh while life tries to figure out how you did it." (unknown)

"Dude, next time you have something to say, raise your hand...then put it over your mouth." -The Petulant Purple Princess

"Everyone screams. The only question is what will you say?" -Doctor who puts the Jagan Eye on Hiei; YuuYuu Hakusho

"You have to know your own strength." "You're stronger than me." "No I'm not." "But I'm a girl." "Yes and that's why it hurts physically AND emotionally." -Main male character talking to his girlfriend; Mooseport

"I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person." (unknown)

"Oh I'm sorry, we weren't laughing AT you, we were laughing WITH you." "...I was laughing at him." -Billy's Mom and Dad; GAoBaM

"You're no fun whatsoever." -Draak; Darkened Skye

"Don't let the pretty faces deceive you, we're stronger than we look." -Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

"It's alright letting yourself go, as long as you can get yourself back." (unknown)

"Punishment is its own reward." -Mandy; GAoBaM

"Get it? Got it? Good." -Danny Kaye; The Court Jester

"I only escort you to your death. I hope the fates make it a quick one so that you will not have to scream long." -Guardian Winged One; King's Quest 6

"I wish I lived back in those times; when all a man had to live for was his sword and his honor. And sometimes not even his honor." (unknown)

"Lord Danovich, you've taken more risks in a few years than most take in a lifetime. You have so much to be proud of." "I tried to kill the woman I love in a blind rage. How can I be proud of that?" "You can't. But are you going to whine about it like a puppy? Or are you going to take a risk and do something about it?" "I appreciate the risk you took just saying that to a spellwolf." "Thank you, pleasedon'tkillme." -Nimmel Feenix and Lord Danovich; Dominic Deegan

"You do them one favor and they think you’re their best friend, this is why I could care less if their entire species was swallowed up." -Hiei; YuuYuu Hakusho

"Super saiyen yes, but monkeys all the same: you're still all show and no substance." -Baby talking about Vegeta and Goku; DBGT

"You accept darkness, yet choose to live in the light." (unknown)

“In the passing of tens of thousands of years, only a few decades are given to you...what meaning do these years hold? Among the billions of lives that have become, what is the significance of yours? That is up to you to find out. There is no truth in this world, yet the world is filled with truths. To find meaning in your life, you must first discover the meaninglessness of your life.” -Citizen of Reverence; BK:EWatLO

“Shouldn’t you be at school?” “Yeah...well actually I left on Sunday with the intention of coming here but I was swept away into the heart of a dark urban wilderness and it took me three days to find my way out.” “...Why don’t you just say you got lost?” –Hatsuharu and Yuki Sohma; Furuba

"Live your dreams, take a chance, and never be afraid to dance." -In a greeting card

"Guile and trickery will win the day!" (unknown)

"I seek to be redeemed from sin itself, or rather from the very thought of sin." -Gandhi; Gandhi's Biography

-asking the Grim Reaper- "Why do the good die young?" "Well, it's mostly because I get confused." -Billy and Grim; GAoBaM

"Considering the laughable state of medical science this age is in, the dragon's better off dead. There's no magical solution to to life-threatening injuries." "There's magic!" "Shut up." -Black Mage talking to Fighter, Red Mage, then Black Mage to Red Mage; 8-bit Theatre

"A positive attitude may not solve the world's problems but it will annoy people enough to make it worth the effort." (unknown)

"When it doubt, blow up a mountain." -Yusuke; YuuYuu Hakusho

"Yeah, that was pretty special. Wanna see my emotional scars?" -Billy; GAoBaM

"Whenever someone asks me to define love, I usually think for a minute then I spin around and pin the guy’s arm behind his back. NOW who’s asking the questions?" -My Anime Motivation Is...; youtube

"So you think you're all that and a bag of chips? Well I'm all that and a bag of skittles, so taste my rainbow." (unknown)

"Desire spawns madness...madness collapses into disaster." -(character); Star Trek: (book)

"This is my friend Garth Algar -cheesy smile-" "-shy/scared expression- Hi." -Wayne and Garth; Wayne's World

"This statement is false." Mandy; GAoBaM

"Rock-a-bye baby in the treetop
Don’t you know a treetop is no safe place to rock?
and who put you up there, and you cradle too?
Baby, I think someone down here’s got it in for you." -Shel Silverstein

"I walk into the unknown, sword drawn, eyes closed...wanting a sandwich." (unknown)

"You see, to one such as he, who is I..." -Ranger; 8-bit Theatre

"I think it's about time for a little man-snack -smacks lips-" -My english teacher four years ago, she really did/said this. This happened while she was talking about The Odyssey, in particular the monster Scylla.

"I love the living room...very encouraging. 'I feel so alive when I'm in here.' 'What are you doing in there man?' 'I'm living dude! Why don't you try it some time and stop dining?'" -Demetri Martin

"A woman who desires to be equal to a man lacks ambition." (unknown)

"There are two things wrong with that sentence and both of them are all of it." -Black Mage; 8-bit Theatre

"I think I loved her, but it wasn't that kind of love. It was the kind of love where you're willing to give up everything for someone you don't even know...and at the end, I killed her because I loved her." -Atton; KOTOR 2

"Souls are the only thing you can't make stronger by training; you can only make them darker." -Kiato; YuuYuu Hakusho

"I am something you will never understand." (unknown)

"Squeeze me and I cry tears as red as I am, but my heart is made of stone." -riddle

"I know as much of games as I do of hugs and puppies and care for them even less." -Hiei; YuuYuu Hakusho

-said sadly- "Ooooh...I should eat a pony..." -Crank Stunt Bubs; homestarrunner.com

"The Prince is never going to come, everybody knows that; and maybe Sleeping Beauty's dead." (unknown)

"Sirius Black: Escaped Azkaban. Evaded Dementors. Outwitted Ministry. ... Killed by drapery." -avatar I saw

"I lie inside myself for hours, watching the purple skies fly over me." -Imaginary; Evanescence

"Mind control doesn't work on people who think." Mandy; GAoBaM

"According to my best recollection, I don't remember." (unknown)

"It’s a beautiful view, isn’t it? I tell you, you can keep your sun sets and crystal blue oceans and snow capped mountains. Just give me a view to the dusk of human civilization and I’m the happiest man alive." -Shinobu Sensui; YuuYuu Hakusho

"Real eyes, realize, real lies." -Friend of mine

"She who has betrayal in her heart and will betray in return." -(character); KOTOR 2

"Have you ever had deja vu? Have you ever had deja vu??" (unknown)

"Money is the root of all evil. I think I need more money." Mandy; GAoBaM

"We're all beasts without the redeeming humanity of love." -Beast from Beauty and the Beast; King's Quest 6

"So tell me, what's it like living in a constant haze of stupidity?" -Hiei; YuuYuu Hakusho

"He’s not dead, he’s electroencephalographically-challenged." (unknown)

"Do you understand men?" "Sure, they're easy. That's why I dress like this. When they're looking down to check you out, you can usually smash them on the base of the skull or deliver an uppercut that knocks them flat." "That's one way to do it. I guess." "It's simple - when you want a man, you jab him with a Bothan stunner, then while he's screaming in pain, slap some stun cuffs on him. Then starve him for two or three days until he's open to suggestion, then double-check his bounty and see if he's worth anything." "That sounds more like hunting." "Call it what you want. Me, I love my targets." -Female Main Character and (character); KOTOR 2

"Uh, mom? The bathroom is talking to me again. Should I get my vitamins?" -Billy; GAoBaM

"Where monsters rampage, I'm there to take them down. Where treasure glitters, I'm there to claim it. When an enemy rises to face me, victory will be mine!" -Lina Inverse; The Slayers

"I wish I were a glow worm
a glow worm is never glum
because how could you be unhappy
when the sun shines out your bum?" (unknown)

"An exit is merely an entrance to somewhere else." "Optimist." "Shut up!" -Me quoting the movie 'Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead', my friend's response, then me again

"Better not take a dog on the space shuttle because if he sticks his head out when you’re coming home, his face might burn up." -My Anime Motivation Is...; youtube

"The problems of the future...today!" -Title on Ebaumsworld.com

"For those of you who live by the knife..." (unknown)

"And from such children come other children." -Said after watching someone do/say something really stupid

"I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they’d never expect it." -My Anime Motivation Is...; youtube

“Alright! You’ve done it now girly-boy! We’re takin’ this outside!!” “We’re already outside you stupid cat.” –Kyo and Yuki Sohma; Furuba

"I represent the dark lord...because I AM the dark lord!" (unknown)

"Are you saying I'm a liars with the falseness of the fictions of the statements untrue?" -Pillsey; Foamy the Squirrel

"That's no wild animal! That's my dog!...He just isn't himself..." -Main character; Secret of Evermore

"You're a team player. A save-the-day superhero. I hate people like you." -Hiei; YuuYuu Hakusho

"A gun rack...Sheah, great. I don't even own ah gun, let alone many guns necessitating an entire rack. What am I gonna do with a gun rack?" -Wayne; Wayne's World

A college professor placed a chair on his desk and as his final exam asked his students to, "Prove to me that this chair does not exist." Every student began writing madly about theories and -for most of them- things they didn't quite understand. Within ten seconds, one student got up and turned in their paper, leaving the classroom. Everyone else took the full time limit to finish but only the student who turned the exam in first recieved an A. There were only two words on the paper: "What chair?" (unknown)

"I before E except after C. I think that's how it goes." "You forgot the last part of it though: 'except in all of those crazy situations they never tell you about in school when all of those stupid rules just go out the window.'" -A friend and me

"When a car drives by and splashes a puddle of water all over you it’s hard to decide if you should go to school like that or try to go home and change and probably be late. So while he was trying to decide I drove by and splashed him again." -My Anime Motivation Is...; youtube

"We closed the case and saved the world, can't we at least take a nap?!" -Kuwabara; YuuYuu Hakusho

"Whoever said that nothing is impossible has never tried slamming a revolving door." (unknown)

“It’s mine. I did write it all by meself I say. All by me onesies. Savvy?” -Me

“Great, she brings home a sword. If you ask me she should of brought home a man!” “Excuse me, does Fah Mulan live here?...Thank you” “Wow, sign me up for the next war!” -Grandmother and General Chang; Mulan

“Would you like to stay for dinner?” “Would you like to stay forever?” -Mulan and Grandmother, speaking to General Chang; Mulan

"I would give my right arm to be ambidextrous." (unknown)

"I will treat you like my dog and my horse. Only love you more...and trust you less." Pharoah; The Ten Commandments

"You can do anything you set your mind to when you have vision, determination, and a set of sexy rock hard abs." -My Anime Motivation Is...; youtube

"If any man says he hates war more than me, he’d better have a knife, that’s all I have to say!" -My Anime Motivation Is...; youtube

"The usual reason for Hiei’s moodiness can be simply explained: he can’t wear a hat. That is the true reason for our friend's little temper. He’s tried many different hats, but none of them would ever simply stay on his head. Personally, I’m glad he stayed with the hairstyle. That’s our Hiei, he won’t change for nobody…including himself…" (unknown)

"I would ask if you're okay...but I don't care." Mandy; GAoBaM

“…beauty is such an ephemeral entity. It will always look different each moment of the day.” Ootori Kyuoya; Ouran High School Host Club

"Wait, how do you know what these controls do?" "Why shouldn't I? I could be a flying ace. You don't know!" "That's like an argument." -Thief and Red Mage; 8-bit Theatre

"A good friend will help you up when you trip. A best friend will laugh and trip you again." (unknown)

"I think it's weird that when you give someone flowers, you're really saying, 'Here you go. Now watch these die...cause I like you.' I feel like you should give someone flowers when you want to threaten them. 'Here. You're next. ...Better put your feet in water! Cause I'm comin for yah!'" -Demetri Martin

"Hey look! A mummy, a chainsaw and a balloon animal!" -Main character; Secret of Evermore

"Hey which shampoo do I use? Blue or the white?" "Well do you have dry hair?" "No it's wet now." "No...I mean what kind of hair do you have?" "Red!" "...No I mean is your hair dry or fine or thick or what?" "...Long?" "Now you're just doing it on purpose aren't you?" "Completely...I'm going to use the white one." -Loki and Sheryl; The Modern Edda

"The enemy will be born into the network." (unknown)

"If you surrender, your death will be quick and painless. If you refuse, you will live in torture for eternity. What is your answer?" -ballista is fired, strikes an enemy infantry through the heart, killing him- "We surrender. Move a little closer." -Skult and Ajax; Age of Mythology

"Light Blue-Green Ranger, flying monkey position!!" "Pink with Sparkles Ranger, fist of defiance position!!" "Mauve Ranger, fetal position!!" -Megatokyo

"Constantly hang around Yukina. Killing one of Yukina’s friends will make her sad, which makes Hiei feel inadequate and insecure. Plus Yukina would be mad at him." -How To Escape Hiei's Wrath, Ch. 2 of How To Get Hiei To Kill You; The Petulant Purple Princess

"If you cannot convince them, confuse them." (unknown)

"It ain’t over till the fat lady sings." "I think she just hummed a few bars." -Krillen and Vegeta; DBZ

"All of us are either users or tools...or both." -Atton; Knights of the Old Republic 2

"Stupid shiny volvo owner." -Bella; Twilight

"I'm a member of the Redundancy Department of Redundancy." (unknown)

"So I said to myself. 'Alcapone,' that's what I call myself, 'Mafia.'" -a friend of mine

"Lloyd you looked so cool!" "I'm starting to wonder about your taste Collete." "What's that supposed to mean??" -Collete, Genis and Lloyd; Tales of Symphonia

"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "You know." "You know who?" "Yes! AVADA KEDAVRA!" -random avatar thingy I saw

"Life is a terminal disease." (unknown)

"To see the soul is the truest of all desires." -Me

"By my head! Here come the Capulets!" "By my heels, I care not." "You don't have any heels." "And I care not." Otto the Specter and Lit Match; No 4th Wall to Break

"I could try being in the same place at two different times." -Fighter; 8-bit Theatre

"Plagiarism is copying from one source; research is copying from two or more sources." (unknown)

"Apparently 'Revenant' is a word. We had to break out the dictionary for Final Fantasy XII: Revenant Wings. According to the American Heritage Dictionary 'revenant' means 'One who returns after a lengthy absence,' or 'One who returns after death.' So from what we can gather, some wings have returned from the dead to feast on the brains of the living. We could be wrong." -Gamestop weekly newsletter, Tue 12/04/07

"I have an idea. It starts with 's' and ends with 'litting their throats.'" -Ranger; The Order of Stick

"See you in your dreams...I’ll be the insane clown hovering over your bed with a knife." -Stephen Colbert; The Colbert Report

"It doesn't matter what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature." (unknown)

"I personally find myself more than amusing." -Draak; Darkened Skye

“And so I was lonely. But, I want to have fun with everyone! … I have no clue how to interact with others now though. Morinozuka-senpai, please teach me. Why can you be like that? You have such a scary face, are emotionless, uncommunicative and unsociable. Your face is pretty much akin to that of the guard dogs from hell, yet how are you able to have so many people around you admire you? Please teach me your secrets!” -Ritsu Kasanoda to Takashi Morinozuka; Ouran High School Host Club

"I got the thiiiing." -Sung to the 'Link opening a chest' theme; nuklearpower.com

"In theory, everything works." (unknown)

“Have you no shame?!?!?” “No, not really.” –Kyo/Yuki (at the same time) and Hatori Sohma; Furuba

“You cannot stop what I become as you did not stop what I became.” KowaretaTsubasa; fanfiction.net

“Ed Wong and his wife Jun tried to pass themselves off as Rights today at the Annual Right Reunion. However, upon close inspection of their drivers licenses, John the lawyer who attended the gathering proved that two Wongs don’t make a Right." -Me

"Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of. " (unknown)

"Never call me by my name again!! You will address me as 'Mistress' or 'Goddess' and nothing else, got it??!!" -Hazuki; Moon Phase

"I kept wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger. Then it hit me." -A sticker I saw in one of those restaurant sticker machines

"Pardon me. Do you have any Grey Puopon?" -Wayne; Wayne's World

"A ninja waits until the time is right. When the enemy sleeps and drops his guard. When his weapons lie forgotten in the stillness of the night. That is the moment for a ninja to strike." -Sasuke; Naruto

"Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you." (unknown)

"I’m not afraid of insects taking over the world and you know why? It would take about a billions ants just to aim a gun at me, let alone fire it. And you know what I’m doing while they’re aiming it at me? I just sort of slip off to the side and then suddenly run up and kick the gun out of their hands!" -My Anime Motivation Is...; youtube

"The only difference between smaller and larger fighters is that the latter are louder when they whine." -Genkai; YuuYuu Hakusho

"The Amityville toaster, make breakfast spooky. Spooky talk from toaster, spooky eat me toast!! yum yum yum...human hand..." -Foamy the Squirrel

"No matter where you go, there you are." (unknown)

-after someone spilt some gatorade onto the ground- "If you had a straw I'd drink it through my nose." "If you had a nose I'd drink it through a straw." -Two friends of mine

"Where do angels get lost?" -a game I can't remember, Chrono Trigger/Cross maybe?

"Despite their penchant for chewing on brains, Grunnies make wonderful pets. They'll perch on your shoulders, sit loyally at your feet, and even launch themselves at your head with adorable bloodlust." -gaiaonline.com

"Energizer Bunny Arrested; Charged With Battery." (unknown)

-An example of the world's worst neighbor- "I saw you working out. Let's see how athletic you really are. There's a kitten! -throws kitten- There's a kitten! -throws- There'sakittenthere'sakitten! -throws, throws-" Ryan Stiles; Whose Line is it Anyway?

"Hey guys, what's up?" "Nnnnuthin'." "Cool, because it sounded like you were planning to kill Black Mage." "Nnnno?" "Cool, because friends look out for one another and we're friends but Black Mage is my best friend...Also I can block any attack and kill anything that bleeds. Hint." "Okay, let's everyone just relax. We're all friends here." "Big time." -Fighter, Thief, then Fighter, Thief, Fighter again, then Red Mage, Thief; 8-bit Theatre

"Then there was this P.S.I agent with nice legs who fought and got kidnapped...by ninjas!" "Well somebody needs to get something done around here." "Next time, on Naruto!" "You're not funny, Bill." -Captain Oni P. Nami, Agent Chan, Ninja 1 (Bill) then Ninja 2; Paradox Lost

"The number of people staring at you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your actions." (unknown)

"Release zee dogs of war!" "...the sheperds?" "Yesh!" "I'll get the leashes." "Gleeee!" -Chuck, his assistant; Vg Cats

"I'm the Head Vampyre-guy, m'kay?" "...You're the head vampire guy?" "We spell Vampyre with a 'y', m'kay?" -Head Vampyre-guy and Skye; Darkened Skye

"Did you see that? Lord Zelos' super attack is invinsible!" "So, who should we fight next?" "How about that red-haired Chosen guy?" "Whoa, whoa, whoa, you're just kidding, right?" -Zelos, Lloyd, Genis, then Zelos again; Tales of Symphonia

"Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change." (unknown)

"...without his utility belt, Batman would just be some rich weirdo running around in tights." -Gamestop Newsletter, 12-25

"Allow me to show you the door. Look -points- the door. It's the bit wooden thing with a knob in it." -Mr. Lunt; Asparagus of LaMancha

"Do not trust what I do, only what I say." -Me

"Radioactive cats have 18 half-lives." (unknown)

"My name is Guildenstern and this is Rosencrantz...I'm sorry. His name is Guildenstern and I'm Rosencrantz." "We deg to biffer but quality counts for something." -Rosencrantz, The Player; Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead

"Sometimes I wonder if there's any point to my existence." ... "Sometimes I think about gravy." -Circle and Square; Neko the Kitty

"Look around
I think you'll find
That these buttons
Are the scrolling kind." -Strong Bad; homestarrunner.com

"Where in the nursery rhyme does say that Humpty Dumpty is an egg?" (unknown)

“That’s absolutely amazing!” “Well of course, I’m an amazing person!” -Tohru Honda and Ayame Sohma; Furuba

"I never make the mistake of arguing with people whose opinions I don't respect." –Edward Gibbon

“Why does everyone get all weird and nervous when I bring up Yukina’s brother?” -Kuwabara; YuuYuu Hakusho

"Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet." (unknown)

"Gaara, remember what I told you." "Don't go to sleep." "No, the other one." "Bathe at least every two days." "No, the other one." "Five second rule is good for everything but ice cream." "No, the other one." "Don't kill anyone." "Right." -Gaara and his father; Yukono by Iamjusthappytobealive

"Aw, come on! Why won't anyone touch my cute little dog ears? Pleeeeease?" -Things Inuyasha would never say

"When this girl at the art museum asked me who I liked better, Monev or Manet, I said, 'I like mayonnaise.' She just stared at me so I said it again, louder. Then she left. I guess she went to try to find some mayonnaise for me." -My Anime Motivation Is...; youtube.com

"Time is the best teacher. Unfortunately it kills all of its students." (unknown)

"Yes because everybody knows that ninjas wear bright orange jumpsuits!!" -Me being upset about Naruto. I mean seriously...a ninja in a neon jumpsuit?? Come on!!...sidenote: I actually really love that manga...

"Live your dreams, take a chance and never be afraid to dance." -Inside a greeting card

“You don’t meet a girl like that every dynasty.” -Emperor, Mulan

"We have enough youth. How about a 'fountain of smart?'" (unknown)

"See Hiei?! That's what I'm talking about! Yapyapyap like you're some crappy pro-wrestler!" -Yusuke; YuuYuu Hakusho, ep. 8

"Farewell." "Where are you faring?" "The Fair." "Is there a ferry?" "There's a fairy. A fairly fair fairy." "Is the fare fair?" "Fairly fare for fair fare." "What?" -Otto and Match; No 4th Wall to Break

"I think the worse time to have a heart attack is during charades. Especially if your teammates are bad guessers. The only time worse would be during a game of fake heart attack. Followed by 'Naps'." -Demetri Martin

"If you can see them, they aren't real ninjas." (unknown)

“You mother is so dumb that she designed experiments exploding quantum entanglement in an effort to demonstrate the nonlocality inherent in the microcosmos and undermine the true nature of the uncertainty principle.” –Jokes with Einstein 5

"Heheheh. All the while we've been thinking you were a brilliant strategist. Really you're just a lucky fool." "Hey watch it fox-boy! Erh! What's that word mean anyway?!" "A strategist is someone who uses his brain." "Hey!" -Kurama and Yusuke; YuuYuu Hakusho, ep. 8

"Okay, what's the matter?" "Huh? Nothing, why?" "Because it's been over two minutes since you've bragged, complained, or struck a pose. Either you're upset or unconsious." "Shut up!" -Lui Eric and Remmie, Seraphic

"If my daughter said she hated me and never wanted to see me again, I'd DISOWN her!" "-gets a hopeful expression- Tamaki, I hate you." "I take it back Haruhi! Come back to daddy!" -Tamaki and Haruhi; Ask the Hosts, Shasuko the Paisley Maiden

"I told everyone you'd come back to rescue us when we needed you the most you big softie! -giggles- Or should I say little softe?! -busts out laughing-" -Hiei thinking to himself- "I should have slit your throat when I had the chance." -Yusuke and Hiei; YuuYuu Hakusho

"Are you on any medication?" "Just my anti-psychotics!" -A friend of mine

-thinking, after shoving Hiei into a pond- "Note to self: try to control your impulses. This will probably prevent certain death by red-eyed demon." -OC Jaiden Sterling in Something Wicked by Unolai; fanfiction.net

"I don't mourn for those who are dead. They are dead and have no use for it. I mourn for the ones who have been left behind." -Me in response to the deaths of three of my family members in a car accident Sunday night, Feb. 17, 2008

"Yesterday was 'Talk like a Pirate Day.' A holiday we do not celebrate of course. A lot of people ask us why there isn't any 'Talk like a Ninja Day' and the answer is easy: true ninja do not talk so there can't be a day to talk like one... We are silent and deadly." "..." "But you spoke!!!" -kills purple ninja- "You did too!! -kills orange ninja- Gasp!" -kills self- -Purple Ninja, Orange Ninja, Blue Ninja; Commissioned Comic

"I've had plenty of joe jobs. Nothing I'd call a career. Let me put it this way...I have an extensive collection of name tags and hair nets. -cheesy smile-" -Wayne; Wayne's World

I just though I'd better put a disclaimer somewhere on here: I don't claim to own any of the quotes that are used on this page...except for a couple of them that I made up or actually said and those are cited appropriately so there shouldn't be a problem there.

-lotsm