Hi, I'll try to answer some of the points brought up in reviews here.
I set up a forum. It's got the story name in it in the tv/BTVS section of the forums, so it should be easy enough to find.
Updated: 10/12/08
In honor of Halloween in a month, I started another story. Still writing the other one though. I figure I'll try to update at least one chapter of a story a month. Though I'm pretty jazzed about my latest one, so I'm kinda quicker on that for the present moment.
As a note of caution: My comments will include stuff from the Immortal Iron Fist, so spoiler avoiders be forewarned.
Oh yeah, I made a poster for the new story: http://img172.imageshack.us/img172/849/likeathinguntoironpostejq5.jpg
Stats: Chapter 19 - 3,475 words
dogbertcarroll: "Hm. You'd think at least one of the IFs would have made sure to spend his 33rd year inside the city with a lot of witnesses. Good chapter."
If they're not already in the city, they probably can't get there. It's only connected to Earth for so long. That and their deaths aren't exactly known in detail. The other Iron Fists weren't all aware of what would happen when they became thirty-three. Thanks.
leader: "A most excellent ending, though this story is shorter than I expected."
Yeah. The last part of the chapter is a little off because of that. I might fill it in either editing-wise, or flashback.
"I expected Joyce to go all "mother hen" on Jenny and I can sort of see where she stands, and I probably would have been dissapointed if you didn't have her do it, but I still found it annoying. I did snigger at the threat though, she couldn't do anything to Jenny."
Really? I tried to have Joyce be caring; she's a mom, she may not do things the way you want, but she cares.
"I was amazed by how badly Orson and Xander lost their fight, though I know nothing of the Steel Serpent, so I did not know what to expect. It was sad when Orson died, even if he was kind of a dick."
The Steel Serpent is not only a good fighter, but he "cheated." Orson's burnt out and Xander's still green. They've just been lucky up till then.
"I liked the Xander/Lilah scene, it reminded me of the awesome scene where Angel is in her car."
I remember that. I didn't want to just drop characters.
"Jenny being banished from her clan was expected, but also sad. And hey, Xander was actually called her boyfriend there!"
About the first time she actually considered him as such.
"Which of course brings me to my favorite part. I'm glad it did finally happen between them, I also liked how you set it up. I could believe that Xander just needed to feel close to someone at that time. The "morning after" was well done too, painfully beautiful indeed. I really look forward to the sequel!"
Thanks. I'm actually working on a pseudo-epilogue, but I'm still trying to figure out exactly how to weight things in terms of crossover.
deathsheadx: "Okay i've read through the whole story and while it's good i've been feeling a growing irritation. i know exactly what it is and i even realised when i first figured something was wrong your predestined pairing. now i actually mentioned something about this on xanderzone(i said the pairing wasnt for me but to each their own) but sitting back and reading through it all it is in truth a serious problem. it's not so much the pairing, it's how you went about it.
to sum it up it's heavy handed in it's execution and dominates the story drowning everything else out.
out of the blue xander is suddenly crushing on miss calender, no build up no development it's suddenly ms calender and nobody else."
It's a result of mixed personality traits and trauma. That was my line of thinking, even if it wasn't handled as well as you might have needed.
"xander starts to come off as obsessed with her almost stalkerish in his desire for her. almost every chapter xander seems to somehow find time to lament how much he wants miss calender that's not love, that's not even the angsty forbidden love that angel and buffy had that's obsessed stalker behavior."
He's a teenager. He whines about stuff like that. Though I tried to make it not stalker behavior since it isn't unreturned, and he would back off if asked.
"and lets not forget about jenny herself who out of the blue is in love with a kid who has never interested her that way before, has no interest in giles. "
Timeline says they've been out a couple of times. That doesn't necessarily mean that much. Her attraction to Xander grew, even if it was a little fast.
"in this story you are forcing the characters towards what you want. jenny becoming interested in xander because he suddenly is iron fist and has part of his personality overwritten by iron fist rings false."
It's supposed to be a mix of things. It could be a lack of explanation, but it wasn't meant that way.
"in fact my advice is you pushed for the pairing to hard and too fast. and in doing so you overplayed it to the point it started to overwhelm the other aspects of the story.
in my opinion what should of been done is a longer period to build the attraction and desire since you have this set up as books perhaps you should of held off on the relationship aspects till book 2, allowing for a more stable foundation"
I can see your point. However, one thing that I wanted to do was make the situation force the characters to react in ways they might not normally. The relationship would have been slower, if not for certain things external to character, though internal in that its how they react that matters.
For instance, Xander doesn't care because Orson died, and he's probably going to die in a few months and if not then, when he's thirty-three. He's still basically a good guy, but the timeline changed him. He's seeing the end of his life in months and if he's lucky years, instead of decades. How should he react?
Aaron: "3 chapters and things are really heating up. Orson is making headwaves with Lilah. W&H wants Orson to fight in the Tournament for them, that will be interesting. Not to mention Hydra, Xao and Steel Serpent are going to Sunnydale. Things are heating up really fast in that regard. and the information about the monster that attacks and kills Iron Fist will be interesting. and Vi's introduction along with the Thunderer was interesting. I think you have a bit of soft spot for Vi."
Outside of Kennedy, she was the most developed of the potenials for the most part. Maybe Amanda, but she didn't have a Watcher. That and she didn't annoy me or just fade into the background like the majority of the rest do.
"Xander's is having women problems isn't he? Jenny likes him, wants to be with him but the age thing not to mention the teacher/student thing is a problem, Kendra has a crush on him along with Vi. Only Buffy, Willow and Amy don't have crushes on him (obviously because the ship has sailed for Buffy and Willow's getting interested more in Oz)and I like Nancy's introduction as Vi's Watcher. it will be interesting to see what happens with the gang now it has new members."
The group won't stay that big for the whole time. Not to say they'll die, but it's kind of unwieldy right now.
"Speaking of Amy nice new take on the B episode, since Xander's interested in Jenny, no dating Cordy, no break up, and no love spell. Seems like Xander's caught her early, hopefully Xander will help her out by example, since she starting to understand about power and seeing Xander with it and having problems with temptation is starting to convince her. Maybe Jenny could bring Amy under her wing."
Pretty much.
"and of course the final battle with Acatha, Spike and the rest was good too. Love how Xander took charge and got the idea of recruiting Amy and she's part of the group now, not to mention the fight with the statue, great that you showed that Xander's powerful but not super powerful, you showed that when he nearly died from the judge and now here. Of course the final fight between Xander and Spike was great, a great knocked down dragged out fight should be. and of course this was done right in front of Joyce, so they have to explain it to her now. I would love to be a fly on the wall for that."
It's coming.
"Now things are really coming to a head, now that Acatha's gone, now the tournament is on the horizon and with the problems and stuff that go with it. With Steel Serpent, Xao, Hydra and all the rest, things are about to boil. great 3 chapters, love to see what you come up with next."
Thanks.
leader: "As glad as I was to see Amy, I thought Xander came off as a dick in their first scene. Using magic to cheat on homework doesn't mean that you'll go evil."
Amy calls him on it later. Xander doesn't have any real idea how it works, so he isn't always right. He overreacts because of his own issues with his powers, which isn't necessarily equivalent to hers. But, he's not completely without merit, so she can't say that he's completely wrong.
"Besides, Xander did his own "Jedi mind trick", so pot calling kettle black?"
Different situation. He needed to get them away so that they could save the world, she just didn't want to do homework.
"I did really like the way she helped out later, especially with the lock. That made me laugh."
He's not perfect, and certainly does make mistakes.
"So, Xander has Jenny, Kendra, Vi, Amy, and possibly Buffy lusting after him? Why doesn't that ever happen in real life?"
Which causes nothing but problems for him. Buffy's not actually lusting after him at the moment in any real fashion. It's more like she can see that he's shaping up to be a pretty good catch.
"The battle was great, I especially liked how Xander dealt with Acathla. However, I'm worried about Kendra, she was fighting Spike and then says she didn't see him?"
Yeah, that's my mistake. I screwed up on a line. I changed it. Thanks.
"At least Spike is finally dead, but I'm curious what will happen next, in the Buffy verse that is. There is no Faith yet, but could the mayor be next?"
I have to review S3 to see how that will flow. However, the next chapters will deal more with the Iron Fist.
"Hey, have we even seen Cordelia yet? Anyway, good chapter. I look forward to whatever does happen next."
Cordelia is more of a marginal character since she's not seeing Xander. That said, she is there sometimes, even if she rarely helps out that much. She is aware of the supernatural though. She doesn't necessarily get lines though.
Thanks.
Harry2: "Well, Spike has been DUSTED! And the threat of Acthala has been dealt with. And both Kendra and Jenny are alive, which means that Vi is not going to be called. (DARN! I was looking forward to seeing Faith and the Iron Fist get it on!)"
Technically, there's nothing saying that Faith won't appear. She just won't be a Slayer.
"But, with the fact that Spike was dusted in front of Joyce means that sooner or later, the cat is going to come out of the perverbial bag!"
Spike's big mistake was that he had to go and do it himself. Of course, he ran out of minions.
leader: "I really enjoyed the scene between Giles and Xander, I think it clearly showed their alliegances."
Well, up until S3, Giles was always pretty pro-Council.
"On a side note, I love the inclusion of Der Kinderstood, I always that was the scariest episode. The scene between Jenny and Orson was good too, I think it showed Jenny as the caring (sort of) girlfriend, and Orson had a touch of realism, by being a bit of a dick again."
Orson's a dick in this. That's sort of his personality after all this time. He pushes Xander so hard because he thinks he needs to in order for Xander to be prepared. But, he likes him, so he does want Xander to be happy.
"I also really liked the Xander/Jenny scene, though I'm looking forward to the "make-up" between them, or whatever you want call it when she stops fighting her feelings."
Oh something'll be coming along. I don't want to draw out the angst so much.
"I'm also looking forward to what the obelisk is holding, I'm betting Acathala."
Yup.
Richard Caine: "Pop goes the weasel. Oh well, no more Spike.
The unfortunate thing here is that I really don't have a good sense of the story you merged with the Buffy one. Just don't know the series. But again so far I appreciate it."
It's actually probably better. That way its not immediately obvious what's going to happen.
"But watch Xander being kind of the catch-all hero in this one. He's verging a lot in this and some of the last chapter on being like Doc Savage. He's the man with the plan and the powers to back it up. I wouldn't call him Mary Sue by any stretch of the imagination, but be careful of marginalizing the rest of the cast."
Hmm, I wanted to portray him more as a leader here. He is thrust to the forefront, but he didn't do everything himself. He needs something found, he comes up with the right person for the job, he doesn't do it himself because he can't. He's not marginalizing the rest of the cast, but he is distancing himself from them at times due to Orson's instructions and his own personal feelings. For instance, the two Slayers patrol together, Xander tends to go off on his own. Neither are necessarily more effective than the other.
But, and it is a characteristic of crossovers with Marvel comics in general, retaining powers means that the character will more than likely be more powerful than a Slayer. That's the nature of the power level of Marvel comics, even on the relatively low end. The Iron Fist kicked a guy with semi-equal powers in one of the recent comics. The resulting chi explosion blew up a couple of floors of a building. That's the power that he has at the high end. That said more powerful players are going to exist, one of which was already mentioned in passing.
"On the other hand, I like what you did with Amy; except for every female having a crush on Xander except Buffy, I really do like this story a lot. And really, that's a minor quibble. He's definitely become lust-worthy in his physical appearance. It is understandable."
Actually it's Kendra (can be extrapolated from her shyness in canon in regards to him), Vi, and Amy. He's in love with Jenny, but other than that, that's all. Willow and Buffy are over him.
He's a decently good looking and increasingly confident guy that's also nice. The fact that girls find that appealing shouldn't be that surprising. Especially since he goes around almost dying for people. But yes, making him some kind of girl magnet is something I'm aware of and will refrain from.
"I look forward to the next installment.
-Caine"
Thanks.
leader: "I loved this chapter. I'm glad we got to see Xander investigating this potential slayer thing. I was surprised that he was doing it for Jenny though."
It's not that simple, and he has other motivations than that. She was the one that came up with it, and he's helping her with it. But, if she had just dropped it, he still would have tried to do something. Maybe not as well, but he wouldn't have let it go.
"I'm glad Willow is starting to back off. You know when Orson said he'd talk to Lilah in private, I was hoping that meant he'd kill her or something. Still, she is hot enough for it to be understandable. I'm worried about Orson being willing to do this tournament for Wolfram and Hart, they so can't be trusted."
Orson's motivations lie in one direction. There's little he won't do for that. And he has been upfront with Xander about what he's been doing, so make of that what you will.
And while he has no real problem with killing, he's not going to apply that to every situation. He's been around the block and knows how to finesse things.
"I don't trust this Thunderer either. I knew as soon as I read that the potential was a redhead that it'd be Vi. I'm curious to see what,if anything, about her in Spy Game will be the same in this."
Here's the thing, there are character issues that are highlighted in a crossover such as this. In other words, I can present a character, and since it's set before the start of the second story arc in the Immortal Iron Fist, people that have read that story know about the character and if he's a good guy or not. But, it still needs to be presented in such a fashion as to assume that people haven't read it.
By which I mean, the Thunderer is an interesting example of someone that can come off as a bad guy relatively speaking. The truth of that is relative, even looking at his canon Iron Fist actions.
As for Vi, this is set in S2. So Vi's a lot younger and her Watcher is still around. So there are aspects to her as revealed in her canon appearances, but she's starting as a potential as originally seen. Of course, she was in a traumatic situation in S7, so I did take that into account. She has it in her to be strong as she became in her development in S7, but she was relatively shy and nervous in the beginning.
Also, there are a couple of reasons why I decided on her as opposed to any other one. While I like the character, she was also the logical choice. First, I had to set the potential he found in a location that is drivable in a weekend. So it limited it to California and bordering states. I left it in California, meaning I needed someone without an accent that would tie her to a particular place that couldn't be California. By which I mean the English potentials and Eve. I also needed one that had a Watcher, which pretty much left Vi, since I would have assumed that Kennedy would still be in New York. I listed cities to include the English potentials and Faith, for instance, so they do exist. It just wasn't practical for Xander to drive really far, and he wasn't going to be able to fly out with his equipment. So he actually went through the list and picked the most viable location.
"The best part was of course when Jenny and Xander kissed, I've waiting for that for awhile. I'm glad things between them are finally starting to heat up."
Thanks. But, I've been trying to get it somewhat realistic, so there are major issues involved there that have to get resolved before they can officially get together.
Harry2: "Sounds like Lilah is trying to follow up on what Orson knows via the same route. Shame she won't get very far."
Yeah, but Wolfram and Hart is a huge company, with many resources.
"As for the Judge, that weapon had best be easy enough to fire, because there will NOT be a second chance!"
Well, technically they have three. They stole three launchers, but only ended up needing one. It's like what happened in the episode, but they had to pick something they actually knew how to use. Their army/weapons knowledge ends roughly around WWII or so.
TheDon1023: "i think Xander is gonna have to face his problems before he can advance in any noticible way. i mean the chi is supposed to be about harmony with oneself and nature or somethin and right now Xander is trying to block out his problems, not willing to admit that they are there and running away from them instead of confronting them and overcoming them."
Pretty much.
"same thing with orson."
Well, Orson has specific intentions.
"i think that when Xander finally faces up to his issues(probably with help from Jenny) he will truly become great. until next time"
He does have other friends than that, but he will have to confront certain things. Thanks.
leader: "You are really updating fast now."
I had time this weekend to write. It'll get slower, as I have a lot of stuff in the next two weeks or so to do in real life.
"This chapter was really good (only more Jenny/Xander moments would improve it.)"
The whole story isn't about their relationship, so I don't want to overload it with just that.
"I liked the fight against the Judge, especially how Jenny refused to leave Xander (Buffy did leave without him eventually, though I give her props for not just going along with it.)"
Xander was the one that said that they should leave and he'd hold back the Judge. So while they wanted to stay, they only left because Xander was covering their retreat.
"Orson was great in this chapter, I particularly liked how he recognized Lilah for what she was. Orson's response to Willow saying stealing was illegal made me laugh."
He's not an idiot, but he's also kind of a dick.
"I loved the Nick Fury reference. When I first read that, I thought "Orson is a Marvel fan?" then I remembered Iron Fist is from Marvel and I felt stupid."
I'm still wondering exactly how I should weave in more aspects of the Marvel universe. I was thinking about SHIELD though, and realized that a lot of the tech they used has analogues in the Buffy-verse.
Advanced cybernetics and artificial intelligence: Ted, Buffy-bot - LMD's
Power Armor tech or stuff that could lead to it: Moloch, ADAM - Iron Man/War Machine/etc.
Magic: Willow, Amy - Dr. Strange, Brother Voodoo
"The much awaited Xander/Willow confrontation did not disapoint. I particularly liked him asking if this was about Jenny or Willow, and then saying he would not apologize for not being the guy for her."
Xander's much more self-aware, although he still cares deeply for Willow.
"Hope to see more of this, and Mind Game soon."
I'm kinda on a Halloween kick right now, so Mind Game will pick up probably after Halloween. Thanks for the review.
Aaron: "So Orson Randall shows up, and the background of what happened to him and why he's so jaded. I do like the interesting conversations between Jenny and Orson, they don't actually trust each other, but they have a bit of a truce because of the one person they agree on: Xander Not to mention I do like the "training" Orson is teaching Xander, not only his Iron Fist abilities but "survival" training, so of which isn't exactly legal."
Which is one of the reason Jenny doesn't like him. Orson's main training method is kicking Xander's ass.
"Of course when Xander talked to Angel seems like what happen on "innocence/surprise" episodes didn't happen."
Well, Angel is aware of the issues with his curse, so he won't just lose his soul for that reason.
"I like how you merge 2 different Iron Fist Story lines with a couple of Buffy story lines. I love to see how this turn out. The tournament, the creature that's chasing iron fists, the judge (with Drusilla gone, Spike's in a nasty mood, as nutty as she was she was a calming influence on him) "
Thanks. The thing with stuff like the Judge is that there is a lot of stuff that is independent of what the heroes do. If Spike had died, the Judge wouldn't have appeared, but Spike did survive, so that plan didn't change completely. On the other hand, I'm also skipping over the filler episodes like Ted. It still happens, but kind of off-page since it plays out pretty much as it did in the episode and isn't all that important.
"I loved how you did the description of K’un L’un and what's happening, will you put what happefned during the tournament with you own spin on things?"
Yes. All Iron Fist fanfiction is required to have an appearance by Fat Cobra. I think it's a law.
"It will be interesting to see what happens, especially when you introduced Steel Serpent, and he gave Danny Rand a run for his money as I recall. and speaking about Hydra wasn't just used as a throwaway, I have a feeling that HYDRA, Xao, and Heroes for Hire will be involved (I read in a one-shot Daughters of the Dragon issue that one of Misty's friends was turned in to a vampire, so you could used that)"
I'm still wondering exactly which Heroes for Hire to use. Obviously Colleen is real in this universe since I've already namedropped her father. HYDRA will get play as well. I'm thinking Luke Cage, but I'm trying to keep it more with street level guys, so no flashy capes like Spider-man or Iron Man.
"and of course the Xander/Jenny interesting relationship. Considering that Kendra has a bit of a thing for him. I think that that in canon if Kendra hadn't died, she and Xander would be in relationship right now."
Well, even Kendra isn't really sure what she's feeling since she has had no experience with boys.
"The relationship between Jenny and Xander is a bit wrong, especially since they're still teacher/student and the age difference,"
Yeah, and he knows it. He actually mentions that it's wrong and selfish of him to actually pursue it, but he's falling for her. As for age difference, though he's under 18 he's closer in age to her than Giles. And if you average his age with Orson's (who is kind of in his head) then he's okay.
"not to mention Willow getting jealous, and she's starting to have a thing for Oz (which I thought that was one of the few relationships in canon that had staying power shame it ended the way it did)"
She's jealous, but she knows she can't play it both ways. Oz is cool. But, I think that Joss couldn't find a way to convey relationships without creating drama by ending them. It's not impossible and Friday Night Lights shows that a marriage/long term relationship can be shown in episodic television with drama and without ending it.
"of course I think Xander would have a better relation ship with Colleen Wing, but as the old saying goes "the heart does what the heart wants" but I do love to see what happens next."
I'll be honest, I haven't read that much stuff that has Colleen in it. She kind of seemed to take second fiddle to Misty Knight in later stuff. Of course, that's kind of the Iron Fist/Misty Knight influence.
"Things are really heating up and seems the spotlight is on Xander not to mention the stuff that going on in the watcher's council. love to see how you put all these things together. This is great keep it up"
Thanks.
leader: "I really liked the scene between Angel and Buffy, I'm hoping this means no Angelus."
Well, sticking to canon is impossible due to the things that have happened. Things that happened at the start have ongoing consequences to what happens later. Thus, Xander finding out about Angel's curse means he can be proactive about preventing anything from happening. Orson's actions bring Wolfram and Hart into play much earlier than in canon as well. Drusilla is dead. It's the butterfly effect.
"Willow's possessiveness is beginning to really annoy me."
Well, she's actually meant to be less so now. She at least knows that she can't play it both ways and can either pursue a relationship with Xander or Oz. She can't have both.
"The scene between Xander and Giles was great, I think you really stuck to Xander's personality."
Thanks.
"So it was the Judge, time for a rocket launcher."
Well, he doesn't know how to use one. And that isn't necessarily the first thing he'd think of since he's more Iron Fist than Soldier Boy.
"I loved the Xander/Jenny moment. It looks like they are getting closer. I liked that Jenny caught the reference to Xander's family."
They're able to read each other much better now.
"No seriously now, Willow is pissing me off. I think you are being true to her character though. I just hope when she gets in Xander's face he tells her that is none of her business, because it isn't."
Hmm, it's kind of odd since some readers want more Willow, and some are annoyed at her. I was actually trying to be fairly nice to her character in that she isn't totally being possessive. And her concerns are somewhat valid, even if it's kind of hypocritical.
leader: "Finally got the chance to review. I was wondering who's mask Xander had."
I thought I had kind of telegraphed it with the prologue in that he had the mask and the holster, but that's only apparent for those that have read Iron Fist. I kind of have to play it both ways. Some stuff is obvious for people that have read Iron Fist, but I can't necessarily skip it for those that haven't. It still has to play out with a plot that isn't skipped over simply because some people know parts of it.
"I enjoyed the fight between Xander and Orson, it was well done."
Thanks. Basically, Xander is good, but he is hardly the best around. Not even on Earth. Which is one of the problems with comic book crossovers, the power levels tend to be way too different or the crossover is portrayed as being filled with idiots. Most Marvel superpowered individuals would curbstomp all over the people in Buffy.
Iron Fist, though extremely amped up now, is still one of the more street level heroes. Iron Man vs. Buffy would just be a massacre.
"This Davos guy gives me the creeps, is he working with the K'un L'un?"
No. He works for another of the Cities of Heaven. His story will be explained as the Tournament gets closer and unfolds.
"I liked the WWI quote the two of them made, I had never heard it before."
It's kind of pulled from the first story arc of the Immortal Iron Fist. He says it to a biographer that asks him about how veterans are fitting back into society after fighting the first world war. It's also one of the reasons why Xander is changing. He knows his personality has changed because of Halloween, and now he knows a bit more about how.
"I loved Orson's explanantion of how he new about slayers. I mean seriously, if he didn't I'd think he was an idiot."
He's not an idiot. In addition to being an Iron Fist and thus over a hundred years old, he's been doing the adventuring thing for a good while.
"I also liked how Orson warned Xander not to trust the Watcher's Council."
Hehe. Would you trust the Council?
"I'm guessing the box has a piece of the Judge in it. I could never decide what I liked more, the looks on the faces of Drusilla and Angelus when they saw the rocket launcher, or the Judge saying "What's that do?" So, I liked this chapter, and I look forward to the next chapter which is apparently alredy up."
Yup. Thanks for the comments.
Achalon: "Does anyone else just want to stab Willow for being such a little sneaky, undermining, bitch? Or, is that just me?"
As written, she didn't actually do anything yet. And she has a somewhat valid concern in that students shouldn't be involved with teachers. Of course there's obvious hypocrisy in that age being a factor also means that Angel and Buffy are not good together. But, she doesn't seem particularly anti that relationship.
While I think that later seasons really destroyed her character, and not for particularly valid dramatic reasons, she wasn't so bad during the beginning couple.
leader: "Here's hoping my intenet won't crash this time. I really liked this chapter. The Xander/Jenny scenes were my favorite, but the Xander/Angel scene was really good. The way Xander killed Drusilla was really cool, as was the killing of worm guy. I was glad to see the fallout from Xander beating Buffy, but will there be any from him killing two people, especially Ford?"
Buffy didn't see it. Only two people know what happened to Ford, well three if you count Ford, and Buffy was preoccupied with something else at the time.
"That actually never failed to amuse me(even in the show)considering how many people she killed, there was: the zookeeper, the cyclops assassin who might have been human, Gwendolyn Post, she was going to murder Faith and feed her corpse to a vampire (only because Faith tried to kill said vampire), 10 knights of Byzantium, and Caleb."
Well, it's set in S2 and is Xander's impression of the situation. Besides, Xander basically shanked Ford. That's different than killing someone that's about to kill you.
"I know nothing about Iron Fists, so the endig really got me interested and excited for more.""
Thanks.
Kensington: "So far this has been one of the best YAHF fic I've read that is currently being updated. Your hasty update speed is also greatly appreciated."
Thanks, though it'll probably lessen soon. I hope to update it regularly though.
"I definitely like how you're diverging from canon. Far too often events will be played out nearly verbatim."
Yeah, I had to do it that way a little bit at first, simply because he couldn't change that quickly. But, as he starts being more proactive, bigger changes start resulting.
"My only concern right now with the story is potentially the scope of it. I don't know much about Iron Fist, but it looks like you're adding in a Mortal Kombat crossover as well. Hopefully it is integrated as smoothly as Iron Fist has been with BTVS. "
Actually, that's from Iron Fist also. The second arc of the Immortal Iron Fist covers the Tournament between the Seven Capital Cities of Heaven, and some other stuff. It's one of the reasons why Orson chose to reappear here.
"Keep up the great writing!"
Thanks.
leader: "I liked this chapter."
Thanks.
"I was hoping to see a fallout from Xander beating Buffy in a sparring match though."
It'll develop. The whole thing happened over a fairly short amount of time, so she hasn't had time to stew on it much. And then the whole Giles thing happened, so it was put on the backburner. Think of it this way, Xander beats her, and then she finds out that she's not actually the (singular) Slayer anymore.
"I did enjoy that Xander was the one who killed Eyghon instead of Angel. I think it fits with where this story is going."
Yup. That and by that point, the chapter was running long unnecessarily. Rehashing the plot of an episode as seen on tv is pointless. Going through the whole thing would have taken too much time and effort. So I got out a lot of Ethan Rayne and the whole tattoo copy thing. I tried to work in the character stuff, so Willow still comes up with the idea of using Angel as a dead body. It was just unnecessary.
"So was Eyghon telling the truth, does Jenny already have feelings for Xander? If so, sweet."
Well, let's put it this way. Eyghon wants to bring Giles and by extension the people around him pain. What is more painful to those involved? That it's a lie, or that it's true?
"Like you I favor the less popular pairings, namely Xander/Vi, Xander/Amy, Xander/Jenny, Xander/Dawn (when she's 18), and Xander/Darla. Those are hard to find."
Yeah, pretty much. Though, I think that the whole Buffy fanfiction thing has had a pretty big shift in terms of what's being written. It seems like it's not nearly as large as it was a few years ago, in terms of activity. I suppose that the show was still on tv had a lot to do with it.
"On a side note, I was rereading Mind Game earlier and I got to something I missed. When Xander was giving his inner rant about what ethnicity Lando was, I could not stop laughing. I have not read the EU, so I have no idea if was true. I did know he wasn't from Bespin though."
It's on Wookieepedia, which is the Star Wars wiki, so I think it's probably true.
"P.S. Not only was the actress who played Jenny about 27 when the show was filming, but Nicholas Brendon was about 26. So they were much closer in age."
Yeah. It's like 90210 syndrome. The truths of the industry makes the whole thing kind of weird. He was playing someone ten years younger than he actually was. Which isn't that odd. Someone on 90210 was 29 when she was portraying a high school junior.
Thanks.
Jaaku-san: "This is really cool so far. Is this a crossover with an existing series? Or did you make it up? (I could swear I recognise the character, but for the life of me I can't remember from where.)"
It's a crossover with Iron Fist, the Marvel comic.
"By the way, very nice subtle Hackers reference. It made laugh out loud. XD"
Thanks.
leader: "Interesting story, strong beginning. I'm curious where this will lead. I am also curious to see how you portray Buffy, Season 2 was when I lost all respect for her."
As I rewatched the show, I couldn't really get behind her character at all. I'd say it was more a bit later for me, but the seeds of her not being all that great were being laid down as early as S2. Technically S1, but that was more forgivable under the circumstances.
"I like that you are also keeping in character with Willow being jealous and possessive."
Well, I don't want to write her too over the top, but I did want her to demonstrate the traits that she did have. Or at least the ones I perceived that she had. How they develop will, of course, change with the new changes in Xander. For instance, when they were at the Bronze, presumably in the episode Xander and Willow stayed there for a while. Here, once Buffy and Ford did, so did Xander.
"You know it always bothered me that Buffy didn't stake Dru here, but since Spike had a hostage I'll forgive Xander."
Well, it basically makes Spiker smarter. Tit for tat is a bit easier to explain why nobody ended up dead than for Buffy to simply let Drusilla go. I figure it might have been influence from Angel letting Dru go at the beginning of the episode. Of course that was also pretty dumb considering that she was still in her weakened state at that point.
"Will Amy be involved? I always liked her, and hated what was done with her character."
Probably. Or at least, it would stand to reason she should appear to do the magical cheating on test since that was removed from anything any of the characters did.
"That said, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE make the couple in this Xander/Jenny. It's my favorite coupling and there are not enough of them."
I do seem to pick underchosen pairings, based on the other stories I've written; I have one of the filter pairings all to myself after all. So far I have been straddling the line a bit between who I could potentially pair him up with, though as time goes on, it just makes it seem easier to pair them up together. Age really is the only factor, but given that the actor who was playing Giles was 43 and the actress playing Ms. Calendar was 27 at the time of S2, Xander and her ages are actually closer together than Giles and hers. Assuming imdb is correct.
"Anyway I look forward to more of this and more of Mind Game."
Thanks.
Aaron: "Nice variation of the episode "Lie to me" We see how Xander is changing because of his Iron Fist changes, and the changes aren't stopping anytime soon. I like the Jenny/Xander friendship that's going on. Jenny Calendar was a bit of underdeveloped character until Angel lost his soul (rather the events leading to that) I'm beginning to see that Ms Calendar is to Xander what Giles is to Buffy. Xander has a mentor and confidant (especially when he told Jenny that he killed Ford he's growing a bit fast because of his abilites)."
Pretty much. Jenny Calendar was never actually in that many episodes to begin with, so all we really know is the few details that were dropped about her. Technopagan, goes to the football games, monster trucks, etc. Of course, an easy trap is to develop everything else a bit to finely in terms of making her complementary to another character.
"I like to see how Willow who is still a bit of the unsure, shy girl we know, is getting a bit jealous of Xander's new friendship with Jenny. He's not giving up his friendship with Willow or Buffy, but learning about his new strength and of course going to Jenny and Giles for help and training is well getting to Willow."
Which, Xander actually being more observant as a whole has picked up on.
"I love to see what happens next, Orson Randall knows partly what's going on, so does W&H."
Yup. Then again Orson actually has to find Xander.
"Things are really heating up. I wonder what heroes and villains are going to show up in Xander's life. I wonder if Steel Phoenix is going to show up, he did give Danny Rand a run for his money over the years. and i do want to see Heroes for Hire (especially Colleen Wing and Misty Knight) to show up. this is great chapter. keep it up"
The Immortal Weapons will. It's already been set up with Orson's reasoning why he needs to find Xander. As for the Heroes for Hire, I'm still going over who could fit in and why. There is no Danny Rand, so it makes it harder finding a reason to integrate Luke Cage, despite the fact that his powers aren't that difficult to work in. Colleen Wing isn't hard, and Misty Knight I'm reluctant only because I think she may require more changes than any of the other characters, and that kind of defeats the purpose of adding her.
Thanks for the comments.
Richard Caine: "Another enjoyable chapter. YAHF tend to suffer from a Xander who's too different from the original too quickly. You are keeping a pace that is far more believable than most."
Thanks.
"I would also add though that you have to be slightly careful. Also, there is a slight lack of Xander's joking nature; if you wish to make him more in character - however given his changes he may very well not be quite the same joker that he was before.
I leave decisions like that to the author.
He's still coping, so he's not all the way back. Something that other characters have picked up on. He will get some of it back, or I will try to at least, but part of it is a permanent change.
I am the Bane of my Sword: "Ew, less janna more willow. :("
Under the pairing filter there are 13 pages of Xander listed with Willow. There are 6 stories listed under Xander and Jenny. I figure it makes it more unique to pair the latter two up, and as it has evolved, it's somewhat more organic. Besides, it's hardly the biggest thing going on in the story.
You can always just gloss over those parts.
Harry2: "This DEFINETLY sounds like a variation on Marvel's Iron Fist, with what sounds like a little bit of The Shadow thrown in. Either way, very interesting."
Well, Orson Randall is the WWI and post WWI Iron Fist. He basically is the Shadow and other pulp heroes. Thanks.
Harry2: "My hunch: Xander became IRON FIST that night, or something similar. The Dragon tattoo sounds like something Danny would have on his chest to show off his legacy, plus the Yellow Mask. Now, I might be off, but that is what it sounds like to me."
Spot on. Though, the tattoo is more of a brand. Danny pressed his chest against a big dragon's chest in order to cut him off from his heart. It burned him. One of the other Iron Fist's has it on her leg. Though I figure the reasons why they didn't show it on her chest are obvious.
Aaron: "I like this crossover. I've always been a Power Man/Iron Fist fan. I love to see where you take this."
Thanks.
"You're following the comic without Danny Rand. I wonder if you're bringing Heroes for Hire in it as well? Can you imagine Xander reacting to Colleen Wing or Misty Knight?"
Some characters will appear from the comics, but not necessarily all of them. Haven't decided on the Heroes for Hire yet. Probably not Luke Cage though.
"Great couple of chapters and Xander knows about Jenny. this is something i didn't see coming. keep it up"
Well, it's starting in S2. Following canon too closely all the time would just get boring. Thanks for the comments.
Get-Lost: "I bet she didn't see that coming."
Well, if it had been a comic in their reality, she could checked and found out that one of the chi powers includes mind reading. Too bad for her.
"What little I read about Iron fist says that while he will live longer he's not immortal. Are you going to change that?"
Not planning to. The Immortal part of the Immortal Iron Fist refers to the position and how its passed down, not actually the bearers. There's a line about when they die also, though some characters would want to change that.
Thanks for the comments.
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