Well hello there, instead of boring you with my life story,

Which I do have written down somewhere...

I'll just put down a ton of quotes I like from different TV shows!

Enjoy.

Gilmore Girls

Lorelai: What happened? The reception on the phone sucked. All I heard was "Rory" and "Chilton" and "Get down here." Whose butt do I have to kick?
Rory: We didn't go to breakfast.
Lorelai: What are you talking about?
Rory: We came here. They broke into the headmaster's office as the big initiation.
Lorelai: Ugh, those stupid girls.
Rory: Uh huh. Part of the initiation was ringing a bell. So, that's what I was doing when security showed up and they called you.
Lorelai: That's what you got busted for? That's it? Bell-ringing?
Rory: Yes.
Lorelai: Were you at least smoking a Cuban cigar while you were doing it?
Rory: Mom.
Lorelai: No, I mean, "bad girl, how many times have I told you not to ring bells?"
Rory: interrupting Let's go.
Lorelai: continuing "They can dent, or scratch, and they make dogs go crazy. Who do you think you are, the Hunchback of Notre Dame? Are you French? Circular? I don't think so."
Rory: I'm walking to the car now.
Lorelai: later Was it a big bell at least?

Lorelai: Mom, Dad, look. I know we've had our differences over where Rory should go to school, but that's behind us now. She's going to Yale, and, that's good. Really good
Rory: Nothing but smiles.
Lorelai: We're both really happy about it.
Rory: Both.
Lorelai: Her and me.
Rory: She and I.
Lorelai: Everybody in this room named Lorelai is over the moon about the going to Yale.
Rory: Which means that everybody else in this room not named Lorelai can be, equally over the moon about the going to Yale.

Logan: Rory, you're special.
Rory: Like "stop-eating-the-paste" special?

Emily: Isn't she hilarious? I never have any idea what she's talking about but she's so entertaining. Like a chimp.

Taylor: Luke won't give out free coffee at the dance marathon You would knock the crutch out from under Tiny Tim, wouldn't you?
Luke: If he asked for a free cup of coffee, Gimpy's goin' down.

CSI

Warrick Brown: Acting supervisor? What about Nick? He's got seniority. Or Sara? She'd jump at the chance
Gil Grissom: If it was about seniority, I'd ask Nick. If I wanted someone to stay up for three straight days, I'd ask Sara. Instead, I want you.

Sara Sidle: Dead body! Bonus.

Nick Stokes: Hey, Greg
Greg Sanders: looking through the microscope Shh! I might be looking at the mother of my children here.
Nick Stokes: Somebody's been putting in way too much overtime.
Greg Sanders: No, man, this is serious. I had a date last night and this girl has the most impossible green eyes. Just... BAM! Shoulder-length blonde hair, intelligent, and she smells so good.
Nick Stokes: Cute toes?
Greg Sanders: Oh, ideal!
Nick Stokes: Mmm.
Greg Sanders: And none are longer than the big toe.
Nick Stokes: Mmm.
Greg Sanders: Both feet. But, you know, what I need to know is what's on the inside?
Nick Stokes: Oh, what's in her heart?
Greg Sanders: No... her DNA. And let me tell you, this girl has got some fine epithelials.
Nick Stokes: laughing Dude, you're sick. Man, you've officially lost it!
Greg Sanders: No, no. There is this guy in Louisville. He charges 300 clams to test your spouse's underwear for foreign DNA. Now, that guy is sick. I'm just a romantic.
Nick Stokes: But whatever happened to getting to know someone over coffee, letting the relationship evolve? Romantic is sending flowers, not bogarting her skin cells.
Greg Sanders: Ahh, that's boring.

about a decapitation case
Catherine Willows: Definitely a crime of passion.
Gil Grissom: You think a female did this?
Catherine Willows: I could have.
Gil Grissom: Scared of you.

Charmed

Darryl: Okay, where is this baby that everybody keeps talking about? Is it an invisible baby? Am I gonna step on it?

Phoebe: I think I found the demon. Oh my god...
Paige: What? You can't say "demons" followed by "oh my god" - I'm new at this, I'm likely to panic.

Leo: ...plus ours will be doubly magical - half Whitelighter. Half witch.
Paige: Hey, that's like me. Oh. You might have some problems.

Phoebe: Notice anything different about me?
Paige looks at her oddly
Piper: Engagement ring. Notice it or wear coffee.

Piper: So let me get this straight. You summoned me to a cage where our powers don't work so, what, we could all die together?
Paige: I'll admit the plan has a few flaws.

Paige: We are not slobs.
Piper: Oh, really? How come I spent all night cleaning potion stains off of the ceiling?
Paige: That's gazpacho, not potion.
Piper: Well, you know what? Blenders have lids.

NCIS

Tony: It's a bikini. Two piece.
Agent Caitlin Todd: A bottom. And a hat?
Tony: Puerto Rican?
Gibbs: Any chance you're gonna try that on?
Agent Caitlin Todd: You first!
Gibbs: Trust me. Not gonna fit.
Agent Caitlin Todd: Pigs. I work with pigs.

Agent Caitlin Todd: If we screw this up, I have a suggestion.
Tony: What?
Agent Caitlin Todd: We break into Gibbs's basement and we set his boat on fire.
Tony: That's cold, Kate. I knew there was a reason I liked you.

Abby Sciuto: Latex is, um, very popular in, uh, certain... circles.
Gibbs: Yeah? What kind of circles?
Abby Sciuto: Gibbs, I dunno if you're ready for this. It might upset your delicate sensibilities.
Gibbs: Oh, I'll stop you.
Abby Sciuto: Okay... maybe he was wearing a latex hood, like bondage gear, S&M fetish. I dated this guy once who just wanted me to bounce up and down on a balloon -...
Gibbs: Okay, you can stop.
Abby Sciuto: Gibbs, that is no weirder than a three hundred and fifty pound guy with half his body painted yellow and the other painted green, wearing nothing but shorts in ten degree weather and a big plastic piece of cheese on his head saying "Go Packers!"
Gibbs: Abs, it's apples and oranges.
Abby Sciuto: There's a fetish for that, too.

Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: I don't see Chanel No. 5.
Abby Sciuto: Does anyone wear that anymore?
Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: My mother does.
Abby Sciuto: Really.
Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: Ever since Marilyn Monroe confessed that Chanel No. 5 was all she wore to bed.
Abby Sciuto: So... does your mother...
Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: Unfortunately, yes. Makes for terribly awkward slumber parties.