WARNING: This author is notoriously bad with updates. You have been warned.

My name's Olivia, and I'm an alcoholic. No. Not really.

You were expecting an introduction, I assume. Well, here. Bored, mediocre female writer with a terribly bad work ethic. Happy? No, I didn't think so.

Stories and Other Information

I am undertaking NaNoWriMo this year, and am planning a really long Kingdom Hearts fanfic. All while studying for/taking exams and being distracted by shiny new video games. Wish me luck!

Drops in the Ocean might never end up being finished. I know I have the prompts lying around somewhere in the hard drive of my computer, but I can't think of anything to write for it. Sorry, loyal reader, but this is why I never write multi-chapter stories.

To all my reviewers, favourite-ers and anonymous readers... THANK YOU. I can't say how happy I am that people like my work.

From here on out, it's irritated ranting. Skip down to the stories if you don't wish to read it.

Tl;dr Overly Pissed Off Rant: "OMG its fanfiction and doesn't have to stick to the story i can write how i like so stop criticising me gtfo kthxbai."

God, I hate this sort of thing... horrible AU settings, overdone cliches, 'hey read this story its not like the rest of them even tho my plot has been done twenty-billion times b4', 'ZOMG high-school AU!', 'I know my story sucks but read and review anyway plz', etcetera etcetera. Also, people who use fanfiction to mutate a character to fit a story instead of moving the plot to fit the characters, because they honestly can't be bothered to make up their own characters. High-school AU bugs me as well. Especially in shows/books/games where the characters are already in high-school. It can be written well, but most of the time it's not. Also... I can't believe I almost forgot the old vampire AU. Honest to (insert deity here), the number of vampire AUs in any one fandom is astounding. I mean... Rawr! Sasuke's a vampire stalking Naruto who loves Sakura but gets feelings for vampy-Sasuke makes me want to stab things. Even more so than random pairings that make sense only to the person writing, who never explains why the two are in love, how it happened, and why we are supposed to care (Okay, yeah, some crack pairings are okay, again, if well written or exceedingly fluffy to the point of giving me diabetes and making me like it). Then they get so confused when they get criticised that it's almost cute. Oh, gender-swapping as well. Unless there is a damned good explanation, I will not read about female-Naruto and normal Sasuke getting together, or, heavens forbid, female-Naruto and female-Sasuke. I know, some people get off on that sort of thing, but... please, spare a thought (if you can) for the rest of us.

It might just be me, but it's much more of a challenge to write a story that is confined by the canon universe of the fandom in question. Sure, it doesn't have to be strictly canon, which would be a rewrite of the script and boring, but it shows that you are dedicated enough to your fandom and characters if you take the time to do research before writing a story. Try an introspective piece on what a character might be thinking at one point in the plot, where you might not get an insight into their mind. Write about what happens when the cameras aren't on that character, before they're introduced into the story, or during the course of the story when they're offstage. Shameless plug for the Kingdom Hearts author Xanrivash, who writes the most beautiful and realistic Demyx I have ever had the luck to read. And WhiteAngelChan, whose story The New Students has set the bar for YGO/HP crossovers 'net-wide (not canon, but good. Pity she stopped writing it).

Slightly off-topic, but please... put a bloody summary into the little summary box. Not 'please read and review' or 'my sasunaru fic, r+r plz'. A summary of your story, or a small excerpt of text that highlights the key point of your text. Your story will not get read if people don't get clues as to what it's about. Please don't use the excuse "I couldn't think of a summary, so just read it,' because that is annoying, indicating you don't actually know what your story is about. Also... no summary as a first chapter. Bad author, no review. Don't introduce your character and setting before actually starting the story, as that takes the fun out of discovering them for yourself by reading. Defeats the purpose of the summary box, too. Go defeat something that needs it. Like cancer. Or stupid people.

Also also... No... Oh, damn it all, I lost the ticket to my train of thought. Next topic: I know 'Mary Sue' is a widely used and ill-understood term, but in most cases, Mary-Sue equals bad. Original Character does not equal Mary-Sue. If well written, Original Character equals gold mine. The chances of finding a good Original Character insert story is like finding a diamond in a cesspit, unfortunately. And as sad as it is, everyone writes a Mary-Sue at some point in their life. Unless you haven't written anything. Or waited until you were old enough to know better before starting to write. What separates the decent writers from the Mary-Sue writers... the decent ones don't post it. The decent ones also accept criticism and try to change their writing for the better based on that criticism. I know I wrote a Mary Sue once (evil, werewolf, hellbent on either dominating the world or causing hell, I didn't get that far into writing... heh, three 128 page exercise books...), but that was on another account, and I never got past posting the first two chapters because I reread it and realised how badly it sucked. Either that or I got lazy. I don't know anymore. That was three years ago. Now I need to go dig out the crap and read it again, see if I can touch it up some. It -was- my longest ever story...

Ahem. Next... Reviewing. Oh, lordy. One of the ways I weed out the good stories is by reading their reviews. It can give a bit of insight into how people react to that particular story, and what to expect in terms of grammar, spelling, content... The works. And 9 and a half out of 10 times, I can pick a cliche or a badly-written story from the reviews. Examples... If a story had reviews that consisted of omg lol that awesome plz update soon! etc. etc., I would flat-out refuse to read it. Even if there were 2585-billion reviews on that story. Especially if that story had 50 chapters, with only a handful of reviews each. Because then you know it's the same people, with the same mindless drivel to say each time. I swear, more than one story has had the same person, fanatically reviewing each chapter with the same thing like it was going out of fashion... Back on track. If it's a one-shot, however, with only a few reviews, both constructive, comprehensible, and un-brain-rotting (hey, depending on the summary, even no reviews!), I would read it. If it appealed to me, anyway. Different tastes and all that. In short, please, if you are going to review... Do not take the English Language out the back and pull an Ole Yeller on it, please. The world will thank you, and so will the author. Because authors get their own little worlds. Really.

Grammar is also important to your stories. Think back to that time in first grade when you learnt i before e except after c (I know there's more, but that's all anyone remembers anyway). It will save you mindless flames, and will stop my brain dribbling out my ears trying to read it. It is not hard to use capitalisation and periods at the beginning and end of your sentence respectively, so please, don't make it seem like it is for you. Think about your audience, and try to think about what they would think. If it is a story not meant to make sense, purely for personal amusement, and you don't think anyone should read it, DO NOT POST IT ONLINE. If you are sincerely trying to write a good story, and are simply too young or too mentally challenged or too... eh... foreign, ask for a beta reader to read over your stuff. I think they offer that service free on this site. If you're too lazy to do that, ask a friend. We're good like that, us friends. If you have no friends, and are still too lazy... er... sorry, man, you're screwed.

Also, please, spell a character's name right. There is an exception for people whose names are romanised in fifty-six different ways (I'm looking at you, Grimmjow. You too, Szayel). Vergil is not spelt Virgil (although that's probably where he got his name), Sparda is not spelt spara (actual complaint I found in a review. Yikes, not reading that...), and Cathy is not an ancient Egyptian name (I highly doubt Cairo is, either). Do your research. Please. And try to keep the characters in-character, I hate looking at self-harming Ryou and abusive Yami no Bakura, just because of a few instances of self-mutilation on Yami no Bakura's part... 'emo' Zexion and hyperactive ADHD-afflicted Demyx? Oh, lordy, not another one. He's a sitar player, that is a very challenging instrument to learn... Highly-strung, emotional Vergil? Calm, cool, collected and careful Dante? Doesn't ring true for me either, unless it has good reason and is well written. And we all know Hiei is a jerk. A short, hug-at-risk-of-being-eviscerated jerk, but a jerk nonetheless. No cutesy flowers and romantic dinners with Kurama, Yusuke, or anyone. Ever. Especially not Yukina. Unless he was lobotomised or something... Maybe I should write that down.

Thank you for reading this inane rambling. I applaud those to managed to get through it without saying 'Oh, shit, that's me!'. Even I had to go through a few (read: many) moments of shame when typing this. If you have any suggestions, please message me. If you have any comments, please message me. If you have flames, please spell check, grammar check, proof-read, have a friend proof-read, think it over, then message me. Kidding.

Ciao.

(P.S.: The omg lol that awesome plz update soon! example used above is an actual review for an actual story. Just to show I'm not pulling all of this out of my arse. If that is your review... Oh dear sweet unholy mother of fuck. You fail at life. Not really, but probably.)

(P.P.S: Er... sorry if I come over a little strong/harsh/bitchy in this, it's just the way I am. I can just express it far better on paper/web-browser than I can in real life. Emotional basket-case with a closed lid, that's me...)

The End. Seriously, people, go home. The profile's over.