NEWS

Added some funny things to the profile that I am sure will earn a good laugh or two XP

Current Fanfictions Update

August 15, 2009

When Darkness Falls (Fable 2): Chapter 6: Shadows is up. Due to Writer's Block, it may take some time before Chapter 7 will be posted.

Personal Information

Name: My Real Name shall go unknown, however you may call me either Chaos, Nakka, or Takka.

Gender: Female...

Age: 20...

Race: Unfortunately Human...

Hair: Short, light brown...

Eyes: Hazel...

Interests/Hobbies: Dragons, Faeries, Vampires, Demons, Cooking, Drawing, Writing, Fantasy Worlds, Reading, Video Games, Horror Movies, Legends and Folk Tales, Chaos, Insanity, and Collecting Weird and Fascinating Objects from Nature (Skulls, Twisted Vines that look like Canes, and Crystals)

Personality: Crazy and Chaotic, I am wild and will do what I want, when I want! Because of this... I tend not to have to many friends, but the voices in my head keep me company enough.

Bases of Fanfictions: Inuyasha, Labyrinth, Sword of Mana/Legend of Mana, Parasite Eve, Aliens VS Predators, Fable 2, Legend of Zelda, Transformers

Alter Egos

Nakka: A crazy, evil, chaotic woman who will smash any ones head in with her war hammer of doom (which is named Mallet-sama) if they do not obay. Always one to torment, she will kidnap several people and subjugate them to horrid experiments to fuel her scientific experiments. Her motives are unknown, but her methods center around minds that have fallen into Insanity. However, if angered enough, she begins to show signs of a Demonic Bloodline.

She has several Demons residing inside of her...

Takka: A pure hearted woman who like Nakka is chaotic and wild, but in a good sort of way. As Nakka's twin sister, she tries to keep her evil counterpart from tormenting others while at the same time trying to reason with her. However, do not let her good nature fool you as she is too a complete badass. If things are not going right, she will raise her trusted Lance (Silverheart) and charge headfirst into battle. Like Nakka, she sometimes shows signs of a Demonic Bloodline.

She had several Spirits residing inside of her...

Note:

These two characters are also the star characters of a MSTing Series that I am working on called "Chaos Laboratory." If you are interested in this series, send me a PM and I'll send you a copy of the Prologue and Chapter 1. It is rated NC-17 for a reason, so be sure that you are not easily offended or disgusted (it is a parody of many different series).

Special Love Towards

RPGingmaster: As he is one of my closest friends in Real Life and he gives me much inspiration for my work...

Clumsy Peg: Fop creating "Guardians of Life" and a gift-fic for me called "Fangirls of Doom"...

xJustAnotherDreamerx: For creating the awsomness that is "Power"...

ChaoticReverie: For creating the two great stories "Embracing Chaos" and "Secret Embrace", both of which are kickass...

My Reviewers: Though some people take them for granted, I treasure all my reviewers and their wonderful reviews! It is you people that keep me going!

Extra Junk

I accept reviews of all kinds whether it is good, back, full of criticism, or even flat out flames. They all make me happy and they help me work on my weak spots. So please, if you read something and you have something to say or suggest, leave a review in the nice little box (puppy pout)

19 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity

1.) At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2.) Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3.) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4.) Put your garbage can on your desk and label it 'In'.
5.) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6.) In the memo field of all your checks, write 'For Smuggling Diamonds'.
7.) Finish all your sentences with 'In Accordance with the Prophecy'.
8.) Don't use any punctuation.
9.) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10.) Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11.) Specify that your drive-through order is 'To go'.
12.) Sing along at the Opera.
13.) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
14.) Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
15.) Five days In advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
16.) Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom.
17.) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream 'I won! I won!'
18.) When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling ’Run for your lives! They're loose!'
19.) Tell your children over dinner, 'Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.'

Funny Pickup Line Comebacks (What I would say)

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Behind you with a butter knife...

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, I sued your ass a few weeks ago for stalking...

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: No, can't you see my boyfriend is sitting there...

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Mine so that I can show you my pickled head collection...

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I am a Russian Inquisitor...

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Trespassers shall be shot...

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Shoved down your throat...

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: Cool, when you get there be a dear and jump...

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: You would die period if you saw me naked...

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: How interesting, because I would be F and U together...

51 Things to do in an Elevator

1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5. Meow occasionally.
6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.
7. Say "DING!" at each floor.
8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.
9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.
16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
21. Swat at flies that don't exist.
22. Call out "Group hug!" then enforce it.
23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off.
24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.
25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.
28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it.
29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."
30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.
31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.
32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.
33. Ask, "Did you feel that?"
34. Tell people that you can see their aura.
35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time..."
38. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
39. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, motion sickness!"
40. Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"
41. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
42. Without letting anyone see, press the emergency stop button. Act surprised and start talking to yourself "its ok, it wasnt your fault you killed your family. It was SATAN, damm you SATAN! DAMN YOU!!" Then press the stop button again and act as if nothing has happened.
43. Hand out leaflets - "what to do when the lift cable breaks. The ten tips that will keep your body in one pice (although these tips will not save your life, it will make the rescue a bit cleaner, and we wont have to spend ages cleaning the blood of the walls) Hope you will live to do it again!"
44. Act surprised when it starts to move and say "THE GROUND IS FALLING!"
45. On entering, ask the passengers "Will you be my fwiend?". Burst into tears if they say no.
46. Stop the lift and say "twenty years in prison for murdering the whole family, and I get stuck in a lift after being out for two hours. Just my luck!"
47. Announce in a computer like voice "this lift will self destruct in 5 4 3 2 ...oh heres my floor"
48. Sing "I know a song that will get on your nerves, get on your nerves, get on your nerves, get, get, get on your nerves" Over and over again.
49. Pretend to see a spider, repeatedly and violently stamp on the floor while screaming "Die you bastard, die DIIEEE!"
50. Explain your ideas of world domination to the wall.
51. Point a fire extinguisher at the door as it opens and a passenger tries to enter, ready, aim, and bend the nozzle round and cover yourself with foam.

Things to do at the Movies

1. When you are choosing a seat, point at someone and say loudly in a childish voice, "I don't want to sit to that guy, he smells funny!"
2. Everytime there is a gun shot, scream, "Hit the floooor!", jump to the floor and cover your head.
3. Quote all dialogue five seconds after it's said on screen.
4. Ask the person at the ticket counter "Do you come here often?"
5. Start an standing ovation at the end of the movie.
6. Become a bookie. Take bets on which character (or audience member) will die first.
7. Throw popcorn in the air and yell, "It's snowing"
8. Clap and cheer when the good guys gets killed.
9. During the previews, yell out "Can you fast foward it please?"
10. Try to start a Mexician wave
11. Argue that no-one can sit next to you because the seats alreadly taken by your invisible friend.
12. Stand up during the picture and announce to the others the movies twist.
13. Shout "look behind you!" at the actors.
14. Wear 3D glasses. Complain about how bad the effects are.
15. Everytime someone curses, cover your ears and shout "oh the fucking profanity!"
16. Hum the theme music.
17. Bring a flashlight. During the film, perform a shadow puppet show on the ceiling.
18. Go "Ooooooooooh..." whenever someone kisses.
19. Wear a huge fake afro wig, blocking the person behind you's view.
20. Shout out "Help, I'm a beautiful butterfly"
21. Clap loudly everytime a person walks into the theater late.
22. Enquire what the theater's return policy on popcorn is.
23. Ask a friend to sit four seats beside you and to call you to your mobile phone, answer after a few rings and start to talk loudly about any anoying subjects you can or about the movie.

Best thing to say to an Officer

What's wrong, Ossifer? I swear to drunk I'm not God! And really, there is no blood in my alchohol!

Things you DON'T Want to Hear in Surgery

1)Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.
2)Someone call the janitor - we're going to need a mop.
3)"Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness"
4)Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog!
5)Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?
6)Hand me that...uh...that uh...thingie.
7)Oh no! I just lost my Rolex.
8)Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?
9)Darn, there go the lights again...
10)Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Heck, the guy's got two of 'em.
11)Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!
12)Could you stop that thing from beating? It's throwing my concentration off..
13)What's this doing here?
14)I hate it when they're missing stuff in here..
15)That's cool! Now can you make his leg twitch?!
16)I wish I hadn't forgotten my glasses.
17)Well folks, this will be an experiment for us all.
18)Sterile, shcmerile. The floor's clean, right?
19)Anyone see where I left that scalpel?
20)And now we remove the subject's brain and place it in the body of the ape. OK, now take a picture from this angle.
21)This is truly a freak of nature.
22)This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?
23)Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?
24)Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough.
25)What do you mean "You want a divorce"!
26)She's gonna blow! Everybody take cover!!
27)FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out now!!
28)Darn! Page 47 of the manual is missing!
29)Anything! Period.

Fun things to do during an Exam

1. Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say "oh geez, better get cracking" and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes early.
2. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"
3. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.
4. Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the teacher's left nostril.
5. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.
6. Bring cheerleaders.
7. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About five minutes into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the hell are you? Where's the regular guy?"
8. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.
9. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.
10. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.
11. Fifteen minutes into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every fifteen minutes.
12. Do the exam with crayons, paint, or fluorescent markers.
13. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.
14. Come down with a BAD case of Turet's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.
15. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up! For math/science exams, try using Roman numerals.
16. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.
17. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it!
18. Walk into the exam with an entourage. Claim you are going to be taping your next video during the exam. Try to get the instructor to let them stay, be persuasive. Tell the instructor to expect a percentage of the profits if they are allowed to stay.
19. Every five minutes, stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.

Funny things to do while taking your Driving Test

1. Rev the engine very high, turn to the examiner and say with an evil stare, "Buckle up"
2. Turn the radio on. When the examiner goes to turn it down or off, slap their hand
3. After the instructor gets in the car, pop the hood, get out and check the oil
4. Fill your car with beer
5. In the middle of driving, hug the examiner
6. Swear and yell at everybody on the road (include parked cars)
7. When you stop at a light, start revving the engine while looking back and fourth between the person next to you at the lights, lean forward, grind your teeth and make animal noises
8. When parking, stop a few feet from distance and get out and push, saying frantically to the instructor "grab the wheel, the cars out of control!"
9. Keep doing the same thing over and over again, like yelling at the person in the rear view mirror to get out of the way, and then say "oh, it's me." Keep doing it