Okay, if I'm gonna start posting here again, I guess I need to put something on this page. Firstly, there are a lot of new face here since the last time I posted, but I'm not one of them. I've been writing in this fandom (my first) since early on in Season One. My first fics were Faith inspired. Go figure. I had a decent list of stories on here at one time and yes, I took them all down. I'm constantly working to refine my writing and my style, and quite frankly, I found most of those to be cringe-worthy. I do, however, realize that some people really enjoyed them. I have kept them around on my hard drive. Just drop me a line, and I'll be glad to email them to you. Or, if you choose to support the economy, they're all zined Here, under The Family Business. There are three volumes so far and more in the works.

What you need to know about me? Um, not much. I'm 34, live in College Station, Texas with my hubby, two dogs, a cat, and three horses. I recently attended the Salute to Supernatural Convention in Chicago, met Jared and Jensen. I have recaps along with one bitty picture posted Here and Here. Before Chicago, the fangirliest thing I ever did was this. I know. I'm a total dork. facepalm

So, for those of you who don't know me or my writing, here's what to expect. Experimentation, experimentation, experimentation. I do enjoy a good H/C story, but I don't limit myself to that. I try to write them as in character as possible. I don't believe in trying to one up the show's most awesome creators. I write mostly in present tense now. I don't know why. I like the immediacy of it. I like the scenes to play out like they would if you were watching a film onscreen with just as much relevance given to the crunch of gravel in a speaker in the far back corner of the theater as to the size of the foot on the screen. I write any genre. Any. I'm a firm believer in 'going there' if it tells the story I want to tell. I try to give explicit warnings. Anything you don't like? Feel free to click the back button, but don't let that prejudice you against the next thing I post. You might miss out. If you need an explanation, here it is:

Aside from being pretty open-minded about the incest and gay love scenarios, I have to say, that I just love a good love story, and I love a lot of emotion infused into fic. Even when I was in junior high, people would ask me if I wanted to see a certain movie, and I'd be like, "Is there a love story in it?" Cuz I totally didn't want to watch anything that didn't have that extra layer of emotion. I still don't. While I appreciate SPN for its action and horror elements, I watch it for the love between Sam and Dean. Yes, it's brotherly love and it's sacred, but I get bored without that extra level of emotion. I cannot read het sex. One bad experience... and I totally do NOT read for plot. In fact, you can pretty much bet I skim through everything in a story that isn't just the boys chilling out together. And I don't want them being "un GUY like" either. Some of my earlier stories. Ergh. (shakes head in dismay) what a bunch of sappy crap. Doesn't work for me anymore. I want them emotional but still guys, guys who don't really talk about their feelings, who keep things pent up until they start slamming things into walls and get friggin' hard. That's believable for me. Maybe I'm just sick. I dunno. Again, don't like, don't read. Most of that stuff is posted elsewhere, but I will be the first to admit my best stuff, by far, is the slashy stuff. I refuse to make excuses for writing it, and I refuse to be hypocritical and pretend I don't write it for the sake of my readers who prefer not to know that. We're all adults and can read a warning.

For the record, the best stuff I've ever written? Do NOT click on links if you are offended or do not understand the ratings and pairings listed.

Something Golden R, Sam/Dean, post apocalyptic. (Also in zine from from agentswithstyle)

Go Fish R, J2, Complete Crack, like whoa. (Sold! Soon to be locked in this journal until 2011.)

The Nightblindness 'Verse Jensen/Misha/Jared, very NC-17.(is consuming my soul)

Light PG-13, Sam/Dean

Dean Reads Gen, PG, Dean with Learning Disability

Sole Survivors Gen, PG, Pre and Post Hell Hurt!Dean

Change or How the Guitar Hero Gets His BitchNC-17, J2, cancer fic.

RootsR, J2, first-time fic

DerelictNC-17, J2, Hurt!Jensen(Sold! Unavailable in this format until March 2010.)

White LadderNC-17, J2, Ghost rewrite with Jared(Sam), Jensen(Molly)

I don't believe in or support fanfiction awards. I've won a few and now ask not to be nominated. I find all they do is make me question the perception of quality writing and keep me dwelling on failures rather than working on the next great story. I have penned some meta about it in my LJ. Here's that in a nutshell:

I question whether anything I write is good, and even though I know there is bias in all awards and recs, I still relate to that euphoric feeling it adds to the writing experience when I get recced or win an award. So, how can I separate the two? How can I say on the one hand that it doesn't matter if I get recced or win an award, that it's only one biased person's opinion, and still crave that feeling of awesomer than awesome that comes along with getting recced or winning? I don't know how to do it. I just don't. Hence, my general crankiness. I mean, I do recognize that some people rec the same people over and over again, which makes me think, yeah, they like those people, so they read those first, and once they have enough stuff to make a rec post, they don't read the rest. I mean, I know that I do the same. If five of my favorite writers post fic on the same day, and a hundred other really great authors post, I'm prolly only gonna read my five faves. There are only so many hours in the day. Does that mean the rest don't deserve to be read and recced, though? No. Does it mean the people who wrote the rest of those fics won't be sad if they don't get comments because I ran out of time? No. Which is why I have this issue with recs and awards. I won't ever be able to accept a rec or an award as a true testament to the quality of my writing, and I won't ever be able to see a list I'm not on and question why I wasn't good enough to be on it. It be a double-edged sword. I am sick in the head, yeass? All together now,( nod in agreement). Until I feel like a rec or an award truly reflects the quality of the work posted, I'd just rather not be included. I don't want to be the one who wins at someone else's expense or the one crying in my Cheerios because the best thing I ever wrote was totally misunderstood or underappreciated. I be sensitive like that.

Okay, so now that's way more about me than you ever wanted to know, right? (hears people taking me off their faves list as I type). I just thought you should know that I gave up trying to be everyone's friend a long time ago. I love you all to bitty, bitty bits, but if I have to bite my lip and say things I don't mean to keep you hanging around, I won't do it. I have opinions a lot of people don't agree with, but I come by them through my life experience, the same way you come by your opinions through your life experience. I feel like I'm on Jerry Springer now, shouting, "You don't know me! You don't know!" LOL. We are all screwed. Haha.

Finally, with regard to fandom etiquette, I don't read much fic at all. There just isn't time to live in the real world, write about a whole other world, and then read someone else's version. That doesn't mean I don't support my fellow writers. It just means if you want to know what I think about something, you have to ask me. I tried for years to keep up with tit for tat reviewing, and I spent so much time tatting and titting that I nearly stopped writing altogether. I'm happy to beta. I'm happy to read and leave a comment if there's something in particular you want me to see. I'm happy just to email and chat about an episode, but I won't know you want that kind of a relationship unless you approach me. I'm not a joiner. I'm here for the boys...g So pretty. melts

Always feel free to PM me or drop by my LJ. Call me names, throw rotten tomatoes, whatever.

Wow, I sound like a real bitch, don't I? is sad I probably am, but I'm also fiercely loyal. You do right by me, and I'll do right by you. I want fandom to be my "free to be me" place. And right now, my me is kinda on the backside of clinically depressed, but I don't stay there forever. Don't make yourselves strangers. I haz cookies and stuff. MWAH!