I'm your average 16-year-old girl who is a major read-a-holic. I can't help it, it's an addiction! My name's Kaelyn and I have brown hair and green eyes. I have a lot of favorite books, but some of my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE are Artemis Fowl, Maximum Ride, the Pendragon series, Fablehaven, Chronicles of Narnia, the Lord of the Rings, books by Jane Austen, the Love Inspired series and the Hardy Boys.

I've been writing since I was about ten. When I have a writer's block for one of my books, I turn over to a fanfic. Mostly Artemis Fowl, but there's a major possibility that I could be writing a Maximum Ride fic sometime very soon. I love (obviously) writing books and reading-oil painting, and playing the piano.

My favorite characters are: Artemis Fowl, Holly Short (AH all the way!), Foaly (does he even have a last name?), Mulch, Max Ride, Fang (MF), Bobby Pendragon, Loor (BL), Mark and Courtney (MC) Bella and Edward Cullen (BE).

My favorite TV series: Hmm...let me get back to you on that one. I'll tell you what they NEED to put on TV, Maximum Ride and Pendragon!!

My favorite reviewers: welovechocolate and hollybridgetpeppermint! I don't know what'd I do without my extremely loyal fans!!

My favorite fanfic: The Fowl Deception. These stories are truly creative, and something Eoin Colfer might write himself. I really recommend it as a great read.

(Thanks Broken-Quill24!)

To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Marijuana

7. Finish All Your sentences with'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.

9. Skipdown the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'

18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner,'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity:

Copy and Paste this To Make People who read bios Smile.

(I found the quiz on Holly Marie Fowl profile)

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...

You talk to yourself a lot. (e.g. Hmm, what would happen if it was sunny the day Bella got hit by the van? Oh, story idea!! Must get computer!)

You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?')

When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someone's liver?')

After uttering a profound peice of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow,this stuff is great for sugar highs...'

You live off of sugar and caffine (the two greatest things ever discovered!)

You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then dissappear off the face of the earth.

You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.

When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.

You tend to collect Bic Stics off the ground like picking pennies off the ground.

No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.

The letters on your keyboard are wearing off. (once a key actually fell off!)

Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.

People think you have A.D.D.

You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.

You zone out even with other people.

You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.

You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason

Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.

You're profile is REALLY long.

Your computer runs out of memory.

You can't stop writing!

Your parents take away your computer, and you almost die. Literally.

And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.

Put this on your profile if you're an author! :D

Thanks Hollybridgetpeppermint!

Stay back, human. You don't know what you're dealing with."
--Captain Holly Short (Artemis Fowl, page 74)

"Spit out the prisoner."
--LEP (Lower Elements Police) Officer (Artemis Fowl, page 167)

"That's right, Mud Boy. Playtime's over. Time for the professionals to take over. If you're a good boy I'll buy you a lollipop when I come back."
--Captain Holly Short (Artemis Fowl, pages 215 and 216

“I don’t like lollipops.” --Artemis Fowl (Artemis Fowl, page 216) (Obviously, the last two quotes go together)

"Let us proceed under the assumption that the fairy folk do exist and that I am not a gibbering moron." --Artemis Fowl, pae 64

“I don’t want anyone else getting hurt today, not even Artemis Fowl.”
“Understood.”
“Well,” added the commander. “Not unless it’s absolutely necessary.”
--Artemis Fowl: The Arctic Incident, page 39

“So, all this time, you knew Mulch Diggums was alive?”
Holly nudged the starboard thruster to avoid a missile of half-melted rock.
“Not for sure. Foaly just had this theory.”
The commander wrung an imaginary neck. “Foaly! Why am I not surprised?”
Artemis smirked from his seat in the passenger area. “Now, you two, we need to work together as a team.”
--Artemis Fowl: The Arctic Incident, page 181

“Butler,” rasped Artemis, with the absolute last ounce of his strength. “Could someone spray me down? And then could we please go to Murmansk?”
Butler was mystified. “Spray? What spray?”
Holly unhooked the antirad foam canister, flipping the safety catch.
“Allow me,” she grinned. “It would be my pleasure.”
She directed a jet of foul-smelling foam at Artemis. In seconds he resembled a half-melted snowman. Holly laughed. Who said there were no perks in law enforcement?
--Artemis Fowl: The Arctic Incident, page 255

Artemis sat up. “Alchemy? You have alchemy vats?”
“Stop drooling, Mud Boy. They’re experimental. The ancient warlocks used to be able to turn lead into gold, according to the Book, but the secret was lost. Even Opal Koboi hasn’t managed it yet.”
“Oh,” said Artemis, disappointed.
--Artemis Fowl: The Arctic Incident, pages 176 and 177

Artemis peered at the shape in the hole.
“I think she’s awake…”
He was cut short by Captain Short’s sudden return to consciousness. She bolted upright, icicles coating her eyelashes and auburn hair. Her chest ballooned as she swallowed huge gulps of air.
Artemis grabbed her shoulders, for once abandoning his shell of icy composure. “Holly. Holly, speak to me. Your finger. Is it okay?”
Holly wiggled her fingers, then curled them into a fist.
“I think so,” she said, and whacked Artemis right between the eyes. The surprised boy landed in a snowdrift for the third time that day.
Holly winked at an amazed Butler.
“Now we’re even,” she said.
Commander Root didn’t have many treasured memories. But in future days, when things were at their grimmest, he would conjure up this moment and have a quiet chuckle.
--Artemis Fowl: The Arctic Incident, pages 154 and 155

He glanced up sharply when Holly entered through the pneumatic double doors.
“Anybody see you come in here?”
Holly thought about it.
“The FBI, CIA, NSA, DEA, MI6. Oh, and the EIB.”
Foaly frowned. “The EIB?”
“Everyone in the building.” Holly smirked.
--Artemis Fowl, page 42

“Well, I suppose we’ll have to take our chances on foot. Butler, you’re the expert here, you take point. Captain Short, bring up the rear. Feel free to boot any human backside if it lags behind.”
Holly winked at Artemis. “No need to tell me twice, sir.”
“I’ll bet there isn’t,” grunted Root, with only the barest hint of a smile playing about his lips.
--Artemis Fowl: The Arctic Incident, page 119

“Clear,” she said into her microphone. “I’m going in. Foaly, have you got your ears on?”
“I’m right there with you, darlin’,” replied the centaur. “Unless you step on a land mine, in which case I’m way back in the Operations Room.”
--Artemis Fowl, page 265

Foaly was waiting at the pod. Serious though the situation was, he couldn’t resist an amused whinny at the sight of Root’s belly wobbling ever so slightly in his clinging jumpsuit.
“Are you sure about this, commander? Generally we allow only one passenger per pod.”
“What do you mean?” snarled Root. “There is only one…”
Then he caught Foaly’s meaningful glance at his stomach.
“Oh. Ha ha. Very amusing. Keep it up, Foaly. I have my limit, you know.”
--Artemis Fowl, page 87

"Shall I walk, or will you beam me up?"
--Artemis Fowl (Artemis Fowl: The Eternity Code)

"Nobody calls me an overdeveloped, signal-bell crow magnet!"
--Pex (Artemis Fowl: The Eternity Code)

"Seven and a half hours to save the world. Isn't there some law that says we get at least twenty-four?"
--Captain Holly Short (Artemis Fowl: The Opal Deception)

'"It's Maria," said Artemis, then caught himself. "I mean, let us go. Maybe we'll have better luck at the next site."' --Artemis Fowl: The Lost Colony

"I am either going to barf, or fall asleep, or both." --Mulch Diggums (Artemis Fowl: The Lost Colony)

'Artemis must have had a secondary plan, that boy always did. Artemis wouldn't go to the bathroom without a backup.' --Artemis Fowl: The Lost Colony

'"I am older and have more control over my empathy," said Qwan. "That's why I didn't throw up." And having said that, he threw up.' --Artemis Fowl: The Lost Colony

'Who would want to rescue a golf bag? wondered No. 1' --Artemis Fowl: The Lost Colony

'"He's crazy!" he gibbered, tumbling from the hatch of a titanium pod, which had been landed expertly on a flat patch not much bigger than a postage stamp. "The pixie is crazy! Give me your gun, Holly. I'm going to shoot him." --Artemis Fowl: The Lost Colony

'"What's that even supposed to mean?" muttered No. 1 as he passed the sign. "A wolf's head on a stick. Big wolf barbecue tonight. Bring your own wolf." --Artemis Fowl: The Lost Colony

'Butler glanced across at him from his perch on the knoll.
"How did that go?" he asked. "Your first lengthy conversation with a girl your own age?"
"Fabulous," said Artemis, voice dripping with sarcasm. "We're planning a June wedding."' --Artemis Fowl: The Lost Colony

'Holly lowered her gun, resting a hand on her thigh.
"That must be it. Surely our troubles are over?"
Artemis felt the earth tilt a fraction below them. He dropped to one knee, laying the flat of his hands on the ground.
"I hate to say this, Holly, but I think we're sinking."' --Artemis Fowl: The Lost Colony

'Foaly rolled his eyes. "Excuse me while I get a tissue. Honestly, I thought you demons were warlike and stoic. This little guy sounds like one of those cheap romance novels."
"The little guy who could fry your brain," Qwan reminded him.
"One of those cheap romance novels that I happen to adore," said Foaly, backing away slowly.' --Artemis Fowl: The Lost Colony

Maximum Ride: School's Out-Forever

“So, Fnick, can I change the channel?” Iggy asked. “There’s a game on.”

“Make yourself at home, Figgy.” Fang said.

“I bet no people have ever been in here,” said Gazzy, sitting cross-legged in the entrance. “they’d have to rock climb just to get up here.”

“I wish we could see what’s farther back,” said Nudge.

“Yeah, me too,” said Iggy brightly.

Maximum Ride: The Final Warning

"Max," Jeb said more softly, and I automatically went on guard. "Don't you trust me?"

I mentally reviewed possible responses:

1) Sardonic laughter (always good)

2) Rolled eyes and snort of disbelief

3) Sarcastic "You have got to be kidding me."

A Poem, by Max:

White is the color of little bunnies with pink noses.

White is the color of fluffy clouds fluffing their way across the sky.

White is the color of soft-serve ice cream in a cone.

White is the color of angels' wings and Angel's wings.

White is the color of crisp sheets in schmancy hotels.

White is the color of every last freaking, gol-danged thing you see for

endless miles and miles if you happen to be in Antarctica trying to save

the world, which now you aren't so sure you can do because you feel

like if you see anymore whitness-Wonder Bread, someone's underwear,

teeth-you will completely and totally lose your ever-lovin' mind and

wind up pushing a grocery cart full of empty cans around New York City,

muttering to yourself.

If you haven't read the Maximum Ride series, what are you waiting for?? They're awesome!!

Thanks to all my reviewers!