"Honour isn't about doing the 'right thing'... Its about dealing with the consequences."

Decus Permanit - Honour Prevails.

Ba'ad az ar tariki, roshani ast - After every darkness, there is light (Afghan proverb)

Pede poena claudo. Punishment comes limping. Retribution comes slowly, but surely.

Aut viam inveniam aut faciam - I will either find a way, or make one

(If any of these translations are wrong, please tell me and I'll be glad to fix them...)

Figured it was finally time I put something here... So, huh, what do you want to know? Ask, and I'll probably add it... Maybe... If I can be bothered...

Name: Well people here either know me as crazy-lady, or Dreamer. I'll answer to either... -shrug-

Location: New Zealand!! Or as I normally call it - Kiwiland! Although 'Sheepland' would probably be more accurate...

Hair: A light brown that shines golden/bronze in the sun... Seems almost blond. Hangs between my shoulders and mid-back - its different layers/lengths - and annoyingly straight.

Side Note: My friends want to shave me so that they can make my hair into a wig, but as they 'debate' who gets it first, they completely forget that they were planning to make me bald in the first place to get said wig. (Thank. God.) UPDATE: They say they no longer want my hair. I'm sensing a conspiracy - they are only trying to lull me into a sense of security... But I'm on to them.

Eyes: A weird colour that changes on mood, lighting, and day. Seriously. Blue/green/grey/brown all is there... Just... In different quantities :S

Age: Eighteen, Birthday is in October

Sex: If you haven't guessed by now; Female.

Hmmm what else... Likes: Quotes. My hair where it is. Books, Fanfiction, Reading... ;P Music, Friends (despite all evidence to the contrary, I do love them. Maybe. Kinda. A little... To be completely honest they'd kill me if I tried to run), Skiing, Hokey, Beaches, Mountains, the ring Roos gave me -bows and worships the ground she walks on- I am only joking a little about the baby thing. I probably would... hmmmm what else... Reading yaoi on days that end with 'y' ...

Hokey Pokey ice cream, Pineapple Lumps, L&P, the Kea, Pukeko and Mawpawk (?)... Kiwiana Stuff. Oh and a steak and mushroom pie...

Authors:

On fanfiction; Toki Mirage, SarrissaDiablo, phoenix catcher, Abby Ebon, amitai, The Morrigu, Stalker of Stories, Branwen777, Bittersweet Alias...

Published; Anne Bishop she has changed how I view fantasy, Kelly Armstrong, John Marsden, Tamora Pierce, Anthony Horrowitz...

Manga/Anime: Ouran Host Club, Jing; King of Bandits, Love Mode, Tsubasa, Fullmetal Alchemist...

Books: Too many... Seriously, way too many for me to remember half of them at any given moment...

Music: Pretty much everything... Adoring 'Poets Of The Fall' atm... Mal luv, I bow before your greatness! -bows-

Habbits: Chewing my nails, biting my lips, making faces as I think, humming in exams, playing with my hair, fiddling with any of the rings I am wearing at that moment in time - my necklace is also free game, cracking my knuckles, etc etc... I am a major fidget. I really do find it impossible to stay still.

Studying: At the University of Auckland. Yay me. A BA (Bachelor of Arts) and I'm changing my mind on what I want to majour in. Probably Ancient History or Classics now, with English and Psychology thrown in... Oh, and the Astronomy class isn't all that great -sighs-

Huh, should probably mention my stories... Hehehe? -sweatdrop-

In the Arms of an Angel - Wrote it years ago on multiple post-it's... (Oooh it was fun typing it up... Haven't looked at it in ages. Not sure if I want to...) It's a Trory - Gilmore Girls... Good god. About Tristan looking back on his life, and looking at how Rory influenced it. My favorite line, that I have managed to remember all this time (and I think it inspired the entire thing), is "A house is not a home." Wonder how many people fully understand what is meant by it..

How to Kill Orochimaru - I was bored on the bus, I think, and thought of how many people are rather... Opinionated... On the Third's Law, and its effectiveness. Wondered what a good and loyal shinobi would do, if faced with Orochimaru telling someone. Thus, it was born. Complete and utter crack. Take seriously at own risk.

How to Kill Sakura - PhelpstwinsandElftwins, a fellow writer, has written a series of crack! stories of unusual pairings in Naruto my favorite being 'You Should Be Proud' and I offered to off someone for her, and she wanted Sakura killed. Voila! Also crack.

How to Kill Annoying Vamps, Part I - Momo, dearest Momo - more commonly known as SunStar Kitsune - gave me a challenge to kill Aro, and yea, managed it pretty quickly, and then she read it and helped polish it up, so this one is dedicated to you dear Please, no killing of Dreamer, yea?

Speaking of, Give me someone to kill, from anywhere, and I'll see what insanity strikes.

I'm kind, idealistic, mean, sarcastic, dense, observant I am both. Paradox? Yes. But true..., a bit of a prude in certain situations, a hypocrite, and a walking contradiction. I am also unfailingly loyal - to the point where I wonder what the hell I am doing up at four in the morning, with no sleep, and working ten hours in two hours, because a friend was bored, boy/girl-friend/family troubles, and then they thank me, and I know I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat - to those who I call friends.

Just a warning. I do not abide racism, homophobia, or anything that is needlessly insulting. We are all people, we all bleed the same colour, as cliche as it is - it doesn't make it suddenly false - and everyone deserves a basic respect until they have done something to insult you personally.

Another Thing - I saw this in a profile recently - sadly, I can't remember who's - and I fully agree - I will not write a yaoi/slash/shounen ai warning. Not until it is compulsory, and even then, if it isn't compulsory to warn that something has a 'het pairing, do not read if you do not like', etc etc. I am saying this as undoubtedly I will write such a pairing, and I find it incredibly biased and unfair that people get so iffy about something that is clearly stated repeatedly in amazing fics.

Toki Mirage's 'Bloody Skies' comes readily to mind. If you don't like the fact that it has some man-love going on, don't read. If you do read, its your choice to do so, none of this 'Your story would be better if it was het' b.s. ...

Ooh and people. Really, look at who the main characters are!! While not always telling of the pairing, it is a good indicator all the same!! It is not that hard to use what should be between your ears!

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.

Copy this to your profile if you believe in legalizing gay marriage-

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal. And also, point of reference, the Greeks and Romans accepted Homosexuality. Their cultures did not 'die out' due to this. Why is it that the 'modern world' is so far behind those that lived thousands of years ago?

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

Girls Don't realize these things;

I'm sorry
that I bought you roses
to tell you that I like you

I'm sorry
That I was raised with respect
not to sleep with you when you were drunk

I'm sorry
That my body's not ripped enough
to "satisfy" your wants

I'm sorry
that I open your car door,
and pull out your chair like I was raised

I'm sorry
That I'm not cute enough
to be "your guy"

I'm sorry
That I am actually nice;
not a jerk

I'm sorry
I don't have a huge bank account
to buy you expensive things

I'm sorry
I like to spend quality nights at home
cuddling with you, instead of at a club

I'm sorry
I would rather make love to you then just screw you
like some random guy.

I'm sorry
That I am always the one you need to talk to,
but never good enough to date

I'm sorry
That I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car,
but when we went out you went home with another guy

I'm sorry
That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere,
but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend

I'm sorry
If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around

I'm sorry
If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work

I'm sorry
that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.

I'm sorry
If you read this and know somebody like this
but don't care

But most of all

I'm sorry
For not being sorry anymore

I'm sorry
That you can't accept me for who I am

I'm sorry
I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good
enough to make it in your world.

I'm sorry
I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...

I'm sorry
That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.

I'm sorry
That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.

I'm Sorry
That I cared

I'm sorry
that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.

Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"
Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.

If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'

If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things'

Sterotypes are for idiots.

I'M SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz.
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so i MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm a DANCER, So I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a big DICK.
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be gay.
I have BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that's how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so i must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm BI so I MUST think every girl I see is hot.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7.
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be fucked up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA.
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect.
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I Love SHOPPING so I must be rich.
I'm MEXICAN so I MUST belong in a gang.

Just some things you need to know to survive….

(1) La-de-da-de-da

(2) The world is going to end so go bite off your big toe and be done with it….

(3) Black is the purdiest color of the rainbow…

(4) Most of the time the true geniuses are truly insane…

(5) I do not suffer from insanity… I enjoy every waking moment of it!

(6) Santa Claus is just a fat drunk guy in a red suit with fur…. Or possibly Michael Jackson… Or Orochimaru…

(7) MY SPORK CAN SO KICK YOUR SPORKS ASS!!….

(8) No woman does not like gay porn!!…

(9) Snack Packs are the nummiest pudding thingies out there!…

(10) Life’s Rough… Cry me a river and build a bridge over it!…

(11) You should listen to the voices in your head…. THEY HAVE SOME GOOD IDEAS!

(12) And Finally… COME TO THE DARK SIDE… WE HAVE COOKIES, AND MORE IMPORTANTLY YAOI! XD

Put This In Your Profile If You're Still 5 Inside...No Matter How Old You Are Now

REMEMBER WHEN ..
Getting high meant swinging at a playground?
When your worst enemies were your siblings
And race issues were about who ran fastest?
When - WAR- was a card game
And life was simple and care free?
Remember when all you wanted to do
WAS GROW UP?

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level of Insanity

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it “IN”

5. Put Decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to Expresso.

6. Finish all your sentences with “In accordance with the prophecy.”

7 dontuseanypunctuation

8. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

9. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

10. Specify that your drive-through order is “To Go.”

11. Sing along at the Opera.

12. Go to a poetry recital and ask why all the poems don’t rhyme.

13. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.

14. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can’t attend their party because you’re not in the mood.

15. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream “I WON! I WON!”

16. When leaving the Zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling,"Run for your lives, they’re loose!!"

17. Tell your children over dinner, “Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.”

18. Go in front of your classroom and shout "I like pie!"

19. Greet all your friends with a tackle.

And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity...

20. Copy and end this list to someone to make them smile... It's called therapy.

Notes To Self...Of DOOM!

1. Do not introduce yourself as role-playing character in public.

2. Do not talk to fictional characters in public.

3. Do not answer fictional characters in public.

4. Do not talk to inanimate objects in public.

5. Do not go out in public.

6. Disregard last number. Do number 1-4.

7. Note Expressions.

8. Don't die alone. Take many people with you.

9. Floor is slippery when wet.

10. Lake is slippery when dry.

11. Only talk to strangers you know.

12. Strangers you don't know are spies...kill them all.

13. For legal purposes be sure to delete last note.

14. Tell people about the spies that are trying to kill you.

15. Kill them for security purposes.

16. Crying doesn't solve anything. Try violent mood swings.

17. Make a scene whenever humanly (or inhumanly) possible.

18. The men in white coats are not your friends.

19. Ask them for a room full of sharp, pointy objects.

20. When that doesn't work, ask for a designer jacket.

21. Chicken soup, although good for colds, is not the best cure for drowning.

22. Flammable and inflammable mean the same thing.

23. Unlike fine wine, milk does not get better with age.

24. Always remember, uh...uh...damn.

25. Train armies of flying monkeys.

26. Goldfish don't like milk.

27. Do not maim people. If you already have, kill them to avoid lawsuits.

28. Find out who invented the word 'pianist'.

29. People are staring at you.

30. So act insane.

31. People are weird but not as weird as me.

32. Do not taunt animals at the zoo. They have feelings...and teeth.

33. Little people are aggressive. Stay away from little people.

34. Going through other people's stuff is a bonding experience. Do it as much as possible.

35. You'll sometimes notice shadows late at night. Don't worry, it's only me. Bonding.

36. Never pet a burning dog.

37. Never make eye contact with a naked man. Especially if you're wearing a parka.

38. Naked men dig parkas.

39. Beware the naked man who offers you his parka.

40. You know what would look good on you?

41. Immolated cockroaches.

42. Don't worry. It's only a harmless pimento bug.

43. The size of Danny DeVito.

44. Making an amusing facial expression. Like this.

45. Numbers are evil. Count in clovers.

46. Stalking is fun. Do it a lot.

47. Make a large sign saying, "Look at me, I'm a gumnut tree."

48. No matter what people say. There is a way into your fantasy world.

49. The way is rum.

50. Constipated people don't give a shit.

51. The Ten Steps to Dying.

a. Fall down.

b. Be rushed to hospital.

c. Not be saved.

d. Be mourned over.

e. Be buried in dirt.

f. Have your grave looted.

g. Rot.

h. Rot.

i. Rot.

j. Have your bones reanimated and used for pain, destruction and terror.

52. You cannot kill the snow.

53. The snow can kill you.

54. Grass can kill you too.

55. The leprechaun on the cereal box said I couldn't get his lucky charms.

56. Catch and castrate leprechaun.

57. He is real...no matter what the men in white say.

58. Staple paper in the middle of the page.

59. In case of blank looks, laugh maniacally.

60. You are not haxxor l337 or an uberhacker or anything like that.

61. Pretend to be so around the n00bs.

62. Do not go out with voice #7. He is a sadistic, soul-sucking demon.

63. Disregard last note. Go out with demon. Who needs a soul anyway?

64. Go ask Senior Diablo for bigger pitchfork.

65. Remember to kill HIM.

66. Tell the small children in the TOYS 'R' US that the dolls have an insatiable thirst for blood.

67. Note reactions. Avoid parents.

68. The blood of infants gives unholy superpowers according to Jhonen C. Vasquez. Test theory. Repeatedly if need be.

69. Scream. Doctors don't like it; they give you a shot of something nice.

70. Hide the bodies. Otherwise people will ask embarrassing questions.

71. Eat the evidence.

72. But not if it’s broken glass.

73. If in the presence of someone much wiser then you, point in a random direction and shout, "LOOK, a distraction." Then run.

74. Do not tell children that Santa is fat because he eats little children.

75. Disregard last note.

76. Note reactions.

77. On average, 100 people choke to death by ball point pens every year.

78. Stock up on ball point pens.

79. Learn to fly. Tell no one.

80. The secret to flying is throwing yourself at the ground and missing.

81. Do not stick fingers in a blender.

82. Blender...Bad...Ouch.

83. Blood loss is bad.

84. Find way to reattach fingers.

85. Scream as much as humanly possible at 2AM.

86. Answer every question with a question.

87. Ask people what gender they are.

88. Note reactions.

89. Refer to people as mortal.

90. The Seagull From Hell is out to get me.

91. Kill all enemies in most disturbing way possible.

92. Start by drowning them in fire ants.

93. Find the creators of pop-up messages.

94. Kill them.

95. Brutally.

96. Teachers don't like finding notes on world domination.

97. Dunk head in boiling water.

98. Disregard last note. Was written by voice #7.

99. Gullible is written on the ceiling.

100. Investigate this whole 'critical mass' thing when the klaxon dies down.

25 Reasons I Owe My Mother:

1. My mother taught me to Appreciate a Job Well Done:
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me Religion:
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about Time Travel:
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me Logic:
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me More Logic:
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me Foresight:
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me Irony:
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of Osmosis:
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about Contortionism:
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your nec k!"

10. My mother taught me about Stamina:
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about Weather:
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about Hypocrisy:
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the Circle Of Life:
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about Behavior Modification:
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about Envy:
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about Anticipation:
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about Receiving:
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me Medical Science:
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP:
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me Humour:
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don 't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me How To Become An Adult:
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me Genetics:
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my Roots:
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me Wisdom:
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about Justice:

"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Love you too, ma... :D