Author has written 87 stories for Wallace and Gromit, Corpse Bride, Sailor Moon X-overs, Nightmare Before Christmas, Meet the Robinsons, Movie X-overs, Shakespeare, Cartoon X-overs, SpongeBob SquarePants, Madagascar, Coraline, Hercules, Great Mouse Detective, Little Shop of Horrors, Kung Fu Panda, My Little Pony, and Iron Giant.

Favorite Quotes:

Donkey: Man, you are a cat-tastrophe.
Puss in Boots: And you, are ri-donk-ulous.
[Both laugh]

Shrek: Fiona, I know everything about you, I know you sing so beautifully that birds explode. I know that when you sign your name, you put a heart over the i. I know that when you see a shooting star you cross your fingers on both hands, squinch up your nose, and you make a wish, I know that you don't like the covers wrapped around your feet, and I know that you sleep by candlelight because every time you close your eyes, you're afraid you're going to wake up back in that tower, But most importantly Fiona, I know that the reason that you turn human every day is because you've never been kissed, well, by me.

Butterpants: Do the roar!

Donkey: Why don't you just tell her what you told me? You know, about how you're her true love and you came from an alternate universe.
Shrek: Oh, and while I'm at it, why don't I tell her that you're married to a fire breathing dragon and you have little mutant donkey dragon babies?
Donkey: I do?
Shrek: You saw what happened. She's going to think I'm crazy.
Donkey: I'm a daddy?

Puss in Boots: Feed me, if you dare.

Shrek: Okay, I know you don't remember me but we're married, and at the birthday party with some pigs and a puppet, the villagers and this boy kept saying 'do the roar! do the roar!' Then I punched the cake that the pigs ate, and the next thing I knew, my donkey fell in your waffle hole.

[last lines]
Shrek: You know, I always thought I'd rescued you from the Dragon's Keep.
Princess Fiona: You did.
Shrek: No. It was you who rescued me.

Shrek: There's a stack of freshly made waffles in the middle of the forest! Don't you find that a wee bit suspicious?

Shrek: [upon seeing the obese Puss] Puss, you're fa...
[Puss gives a stinky look]
Shrek: fa... ncy! (-Shrek Forever After)

Hiccup: [to Toothless] Thank you for nothing, you useless reptile.

Hiccup: [about the dragons] Everything we know about you guys is wrong.

Astrid: [punches Hiccup] That's for kidnapping me.
[Kisses Hiccup]
Astrid: That's for everything else.

Astrid: [Referring to Toothless] I bet he's really frightened right now... what are you gonna do about it?
Hiccup: Ehhh... probably something stupid.
Astrid: Good, but you've already done that.
Hiccup: Then something crazy...!
Astrid: That's more like it!

Hiccup: Dat-da-dah! We're dead.

Stoick: [presenting Hiccup with a helmet] Your mother would have wanted you to have it. It's half her breastplate.
[points to his own]
Stoick: Part of a set. Keeps her close.

Hiccup: Thank you for the breast-hat.

Snotlout: Watch out, babe, I'll take care of this one.
[Throws weapon at Deadly Nadder but misses. Astrid looks at him]
Snotlout: The *sun* was in my eyes, Astrid! What do you want me to do, block out the sun? I can do that you know!

[last lines]
Hiccup: This is Berk. It snows nine months out of the year, and hails the other three. What little food grows here is tough and tasteless. The people that grow here, even more so. The only upsides are the pets. While other places have ponies, or parrots... we have dragons.

Snotlout: If that dragon shows either of its faces, I'm gonna... there!
[He and Tuffnut throws their buckets of water]
Ruffnut, Astrid: AH!
[the gas clears]
Ruffnut: Hey! It's us, idiots!
Tuffnut: Your butts are getting bigger! We thought you were a dragon!
[laughs]
Snotlout: Not that there's anything wrong with a dragon-esque fig...
[Astrid punches Snotlout, Ruffnut throws her bucket at Tuffnut's head]

Astrid: Be careful with that dragon!
Hiccup: It's not the dragon I'm worried about.
[Looking at his father]
Astrid: What are you gonna do?
Hiccup: Put an end to this. I have to try! Astrid, if something goes wrong, just make sure they don't find Toothless.
Astrid: I will. Just, promise me it won't go wrong!

Hiccup: I really did hit one!
Gobber: Sure, Hiccup.
Hiccup: He never listens!
Gobber: Well, it runs in the family.
Hiccup: And when he does, its always with this disappointed scowl, like someone skimmed on the meat in his sandwich.
[imitating]
Hiccup: "Excuse me, barmaid! I'm afraid you brought me the wrong offspring! I ordered an extra-large boy with beefy arms, extra guts and glory on the side. This here, this is a talking fish-bone!"
Gobber: Now, you're thinking about this all wrong! It's not so much what you look like, it's what's inside that he can't stand.
Hiccup: Thank you for summing that up!
Gobber: Look the point is, stop trying so hard to be something you're not!
Hiccup: I just wanna be one of you guys!

Gobber: Oh, nice of you to join the party! I thought you'd been carried off!
Hiccup: Who, me? Nah, come on! I'm way too muscular for their taste! They wouldn't know what to do with... all this!
[gesturing to himself and flexing]
Gobber: Well, they need toothpicks, don't they?

Hiccup: Aw, come on! Let me out, please! I need to make my mark!
Gobber: Oh! You've made plenty of marks! All in the wrong places!
Hiccup: Please, just two minutes! I'll kill a dragon, my life will get infinitely better, I might even get a date!
Gobber: You can't lift a hammer, you can't swing an axe, you can't even throw one of these!
[holds up a set of bolas]
Hiccup: Okay, fine! But this...
[gestures to a catapult machine]
Hiccup: Will do it for me!
[He touches the machine and it goes off, firing a set of bolas out the window that hits a man]
Gobber: Okay, see this right here...
[gestures to Hiccups machine]
Gobber: Is what I'm talking about!
Hiccup: Mild calibration issues...
Gobber: Don't you...! Hiccup! If you ever want to get out there to fight dragons, you need to stop all... this.
[gestures to all of Hiccup]
Hiccup: But you just pointed to all of me!
Gobber: Yes! That's it! Stop being all of you!
Hiccup: Ohhh!
[nodding and glaring at Gobber]
Gobber: Oh, yeah!
Hiccup: You, sir, are playing a dangerous game! Keeping this much raw viking-ness contained! There will be consequences!
Gobber: [deadpan] I'll take my chances.

Stoick: When we crack this mountain, all hell is going to break loose.
Gobber: And my undies. Good thing I brought extras.

Hiccup: [trying to distract Astrid] You're right, you're right, you're right, I'm through with the lies. I've been making... outfits! So, you got me, it's time everyone knew. Drag me back, go ahead, here we go...
[she twists his arm and throws him to the ground]
Hiccup: OW! Why would you do that?
Astrid: [kicks him] That's for the lies! And...
[thumps him in the chest with the butt of her axe]
Astrid: That's for everything else.

Hiccup: [to Toothless] You got it, bud.
[He mounts Toothless, preparing to fly after the Mother Dragon]
Stoick: Hiccup...! I'm sorry. For-for everything.
Hiccup: Yeah, me too.
Stoick: You don't have to go up there.
Hiccup: We're Vikings. It's an occupational hazard.
Stoick: [taking his hand] I'm proud to call you my son.
Hiccup: Thanks, Dad.
[takes off]

Hiccup: I knew it... I'm dead.
Stoick: [laughing] No, but you gave it your best shot.

Astrid: [punches Hiccup] That's for scaring me!
Hiccup: Oh wha- wait, what is it always going to be this way? 'Cause...
[Astrid grabs him and kisses him deeply]
Hiccup: ...I could get used to it.

[repeated line when criticized]
Hiccup: You just gestured to all of me.

Stoick: [about Hiccup] You know what he's like. From the time he could crawl, he's been... different. He doesn't listen, he has the attention span of a sparrow! I take him fishing, and he goes hunting for... for trolls!
Gobber: Trolls exist! They steal your socks, but only the left ones. What's with that?

Astrid: Hiccup, get me *down* from here!
Hiccup: You have to give me a chance to explain.
Astrid: I am not listening to ANYTHING you have to say!
Hiccup: Then I won't speak. Just let me show you.
[softer]
Hiccup: Please, Astrid.
Astrid: [reluctantly climbs on Toothless, behind Hiccup] Now get me down.
Hiccup: Toothless, down. *Gently.*
[Toothless spreads his wings, Hiccup looks reassuringly back at Astrid]
Hiccup: See, nothing to be afraid of...
Hiccup: [Toothless launches himself up into the sky at top speed, Astrid starts to scream] Toothless! What is WRONG with you?

Stoick: Lead the men to the far side of the island!
Spitelout: Right!
Stoick: Gobber, go with the men!
Gobber: I think I'll stay, just in case you're thinking about doing something crazy.
Stoick: I can buy the men a few minutes, if I give that thing something to hunt!
Gobber: Then I can double that time.

Gobber: Meet the Terrible Terror!
Tuffnut: Ha! It's like the size of my...
[the Terror leaps onto his face]
Tuffnut: OH, GET IT OFF!

Hiccup: [reading in the Dragon Manual] Eats its victims... burns its victims... buries its victims, chokes its victims, turns its victims inside-out...

[repeated line]
Viking man: *Night fury*

[first lines]
Hiccup: [voice-over] This is Berk. It's twelve days north of Hopeless and a few degrees south of Freezing to Death. It's located solidly on the Meridian of Misery. My village. In a word? Sturdy, and it's been here for seven generations, but every single building is new. We have fishing, hunting, and a charming view of the sunset. The only problems are the pests. You see, most places have mice or mosquitoes. We have...
[aloud]
Hiccup: Dragons!

Fishlegs: What's wrong, buddy? Got somethin' in your eye?

[the Viking teens enter the training grounds]
Tuffnut: I hope I get some serious burns.
Ruffnut: I'm hoping for some mauling, like, on my shoulder or lower back.
Astrid: [sarcastically] Yeah, it's only fun if you get a scar out of it.
Hiccup: [walking up behind them, with dry wit] No kidding, right? Pain. Love it.
Tuffnut: Oh great! Who let him in?

[a Gronkle is let out into the training ring]
Gobber: Today is about survival. If you get blasted, you're dead. Quick! What's the first thing you're going to need?
Hiccup: A doctor?
Fishlegs: Plus five speed?
Astrid: A shield!
Gobber: Shield! Go!
[the teens scramble around to grab shields]
Gobber: The most important piece of equipment is your shield! If you must make a choice between a sword and a shield, take the shield!

Snotlout: [to Astrid, during training] So yeah, I'm moving into my parent's basement. You should come by some time to work out. You look like you work out!
[his shield is knocked out by a Gronkle's fireball]
Gobber: Snotlout, you're done!
Hiccup: [to Astrid] So I guess it's just you and me, huh?
Astrid: Nope! Just you.
[she dodges away and Hiccup's shield is hit by the Gronkle's fire]

Gobber: Remember, a dragon will always, *always*... go for the kill.
Hiccup: [to himself, later in the forest, referring to the Night Fury] So why didn't you?

Tuffnut: [about the Dragon Manual] Wait, you mean, *read*?
Ruffnut: While we're still alive?
Snotlout: Why read words when you can just kill the stuff the words tell you about?
Fishlegs: Oh! I've read it like seven times. There's this water dragon that sprays boiling water at your face. An-and there's this other one that buries itself for like a...
Tuffnut: [interrupting] Yeah that sounds great. Now, there was a chance I was gonna read that...
Ruffnut: But, now?

[repeated line]
Tuffnut: Oh, I'm hurt! I am very much hurt!

Fishlegs: [to Tuffnut] Your mom let you get a tattoo?
Tuffnut: It's not a tattoo, it's a birth mark!
Ruffnut: Okay, I've been stuck with you since birth and that was never there before.
Tuffnut: Yes it was! You've just never seen me from the left side before.

Stoick: Either we finish them, or they'll finish us! It's the only way we'll be rid of them! If we find the nest and destroy it, the dragons will leave! One more search, before the ice sets in.
Viking: Those ships never come back!
Stoick: We're Vikings! It's an occupational hazard. So, who's with me?
[Muttering and mumbling, most of the Vikings decline]
Stoick: All right. Those that stay, will look after Hiccup.
[There is a chorus of shouting and raised hands]
Stoick: Aye, that's more like it.

Stoick: I need you to stay and train some new recruits.
Gobber: Sure! And in the meantime, Hiccup can look after the store. Molten steel, lots of sharp objects, plenty of time to himself. What could possibly go wrong?
Stoick: [sighs] What am I going to do with him?
Gobber: Put him in dragon training with the others.
Stoick: No, I'm serious!
Gobber: So am I!

[during the final rounds of dragon training, Astrid jams her axe handle into Hiccup's throat]
Astrid: [hissing] Stay out of my way! *I'm* winning this thing!
Hiccup: Uh... please, by all means.
[Astrid approaches the Gronkle stealthily]
Astrid: This time! This time, for sure!
[She springs up and charges with a yell... only to see that Hiccup has already "subdued" it. The crowd cheers]
Astrid: NO! YOU SON OF A HALF-TROLL, RAT-EATING, SLUDGE-BUCKET!
[throws her shield and axe down]

Stoick: All we needed was a little more of...
[gestures to Hiccup]
Stoick: This!
Hiccup: But you just gestured to all of me!

Ruffnut: [to Hiccup] You're crazy!
[leans in, flirtatiously]
Ruffnut: I like that.

Hiccup: [Stoick has just thrust a large battle axe into his hands] I... don't wanna fight dragons.
Stoick: [chuckles] Oh, come on, yes, you do.
Hiccup: Rephrase: Dad, I *can't* kill dragons.
Stoick: But you *will* kill dragons!
Hiccup: No... I'm really very extra sure that I won't.
Stoick: It's time, Hiccup...
Hiccup: Can you *not* hear me?
Stoick: - this is *serious, son.
[He takes the axe from Hiccup]
Stoick: When you carry this axe,
[he returns the axe to Hiccup]
Stoick: you carry all of us with you. Which means you *walk* like us, you *talk* like us, you *think* like us. No more of
[gestures to Hiccup]
Stoick: this.
Hiccup: You just gestured to *all* of me.
Stoick: Deal?
Hiccup: This conversation is feeling *very* one-sided...
Stoick: *Deal*?
Hiccup: [sighs, giving in] Deal.

Astrid: [swinging off the top of a huge tree] Hiccup! Get me DOWN from here!
Hiccup: No, just - let me explain...
Astrid: I am not listening to ANYTHING you have to say.
Hiccup: Okay, then I won't talk. Just... let me show you.
Astrid: [Astrid heaves herself up and onto Toothless] Okay. Now get me down!
Hiccup: Toothless, down. GENTLY.
[Toothless spreads his wings out as if to glide down, but he then takes off at high speed straight up]
Hiccup: Toothless, what's the matter with you?
[to Astrid]
Hiccup: Er... he's not usually like this...
[Toothless banks and soars down]
Hiccup: Oh no...
Hiccup: [Toothless flies in and out of the sea] Toothless, what are you doing? We need her to like us!
Hiccup: [Toothless flies up and starts spinning] Aaand... now the spinning. Thank you for nothing, you useless reptile.

Gobber: [to Hiccup during dragon training] Don't worry. You're small and you're weak. That'll make you less of a target! They'll see you as sick or insane and go after the more viking-like teens instead.

[riding on Toothless's back with Hiccup]
Astrid: Okay, I admit it. This is pretty cool. It's... *amazing*.He's amazing
[referring to Toothless]

[seeing Toothless bound on the ground]
Hiccup: I did this.

[seeing Toothless down, with Hiccup nowhere in sight]
Stoick: I did this.

Stoick: [to Toothless] Thank you for saving my son.
Gobber: [grimacing] Well... you know, most of him.

Astrid: It's a mess. You must feel horrible. You've lost everything, your father, your tribe, your best friend...
Hiccup: Thank you for summing that up.
Hiccup: If only I had've killed that dragon when I found him in the woods! It would've been better... for everyone
Astrid: You're right. Everyone else would've done it. So why didn't you?
[pauses]
Astrid: Why *didn't* you?
Hiccup: I don't know... I couldn't. Look why does it matter?
Astrid: Because I want to remember what you say, RIGHT NOW
Hiccup: Oh for the love of - I was a coward. I was weak! I wouldn't kill a dragon
Astrid: You said wouldn't that time
Hiccup: Well whatever! I wouldn't! The first viking in 300 years who wouldn't kill a dragon.
Astrid: [pause] First to ride one though. So...
Hiccup: [sighs] I wouldn't kill him, because he looked as frightened as I was. I looked at him, and I saw myself.

Tuffnut: [after Astrid falls on top of Hiccup during dragon training] Ooooh, love on the battlefield!
Ruffnut: She could do better.

Fishlegs: I'm okay!
[the Gronkle he's riding flips over and lands on top of him]
Fishlegs: Less okay!

Hiccup: [narrating] My name's Hiccup. Great name, I know. But it's not the worst. Parents believe that a hideous name will frighten off gnomes and trolls. Like our charming Viking demeanor wouldn't do that.
Viking: [screams in Hiccup's face] RAAAAHHHR!
[then, casually]
Viking: Morning!

Hiccup: Hm, toothless. I could have sworn you had-
[Toothless bears his teeth]
Hiccup: Teeth...

Gobber: And with one twist, he took my hand and swallowed it whole. And I saw the look on his face... I was delicious! He must have passed the word because it wasn't another month before another one of them took my leg!
[gestures to his fake leg]
Snotlout: I swear, I'm so angry right now! I'll avenge your beautiful hand and your beautiful foot. I'll chop off the hands of every dragon I fight... with my face!

Hiccup: [about Berk's dragon problem] Most people would leave, but not us. We're Vikings. We have stubbornness issues.

Hiccup: [Sarcastically] Well. It's satisfying to know that all our food has been dropped down a hole.

Hiccup: [watching the dragons take off with their livestock] Okay, but I hit a Night Fury.
[Stoick grabs him and begins hauling him up the hill]
Hiccup: Ahh, it's not like the last few times, Dad! I mean, I really actually hit it! You guys were busy and I had a very clear shot! It went down just off Raven Point, let's get a search party out there before it...
Stoick: STOP!
[Hiccup stops, surprised]
Stoick: Just... stop. Everytime you step outside, disaster falls. Can you not see that I have bigger problems. Winter is almost here and I have an entire village to feed.
Hiccup: Well, between you and me, the village could do with a little less feeding, don't you think?
[the Vikings behind him cover their stomachs with surprised expressions]
Stoick: This isn't a joke, Hiccup! Agh, why can't you follow the simplest orders?
Hiccup: I - I can't stop myself! I see a dragon and I have to just... kill it, you know? It's who I am, Dad.
Stoick: Oh, you are... many things Hiccup, but a dragon killer is not one of them.
[Hiccup looks down with a frown]
Stoick: Get back to the house. Make sure he gets there!
[Gobber smacks Hiccup upside the head to get him walking]
Stoick: I have his mess to clean up.
Tuffnut: [to Hiccup] Quite the performance.
Snotlout: I've never seen anyone mess up that badly, that helped!
Hiccup: Thank you, thank you, I was trying, so...

Stoick: Hiccup?
Hiccup: Dad! Uh, I have to talk to you, Dad.
Stoick: I need to speak with you too, son.
[They both take deep breaths, then they both speak at once]
Stoick, Hiccup: I've decided I don't want to fight dragons./I think it's time you learned to fight dragons.
[then]
Stoick, Hiccup: What?
Stoick: Uh, you go first.
Hiccup: Oh no, you go first.
Stoick: All right.
[another deep breath, then]
Stoick: You get your wish: dragon training. You start in the morning.
Hiccup: Oh, man, I should have gone first! Because, I was thinking, you know, we have a surplus of dragon-fighting Vikings, but do we have enough bread-making Vikings, or small home-repair Vikings?

[after his latest "victory," in the final round of dragon training]
Hiccup: So, later!
Gobber: [catches him] Whup, not so fast.
Hiccup: Uh, I'm kind of late for...
Astrid: [angry] What? Late for *what, exactly?

[Repeated line]
Hiccup: Thank you, for summing that up

Hiccup: [Walking through the forest and crossing out his map] Oh, the gods hate me. Some people lose their knife or their mug, no not me! I manage to lose an entire dragon.
[Hits branch and it smacks him in his face]

[during dragon training, the twins grab the same shield]
Tuffnut: Get your hands off my shield!
Ruffnut: There's like a million shields!
Tuffnut: Take that one, it has a flower on it. Girls like flowers.
Ruffnut: [hits Tuffnut with the shield] Oops! Now this one has blood on it.

Gobber: Look for its blind spot! Every dragon has one. Find it, hide in it, and strike!
[Tuffnut and Ruffnut huddle in front of the dragon's face]
Ruffnut: [sniffing] Ugh! Do you ever bathe?
Tuffnut: You don't like it, then just get your own blind spot!
Ruffnut: How about I give you one...!
[the dragon notices them. They scream and run for cover]
Gobber: Blind spot, yes. Deaf spot? Not so much.

Gobber: The recruit who does best will win the honor of killing his first dragon in front of the entire village.
Snotlout: Hiccup already killed a Night Fury, so, does that disqualify him?
[All snicker]
Tuffnut: Can I transfer to the class with the cool Vikings?

Gobber: Behind these doors are just a few of the many species you will learn to fight. The Deadly Nadder...
Fishlegs: [speaking rapidly] Speed Eight, Armor Sixteen...
Gobber: The Hideous Zippleback...
Fishlegs: Plus Eleven Stealth, times Two...
Gobber: The Monstrous Nightmare...
Fishlegs: Body Armor Fifteen...
Gobber: The Terrible Terror...
Fishlegs: Attack Eight, Venom Twelve...
Gobber: [shouts] Can you stop that?
[normal voice]
Gobber: And finally, the Gronckle!
Fishlegs: [whispering to Hiccup] Jaw Strength Eight.

Gobber: Today is all about teamwork! The Hideous Zippleback is extra tricky... one head breathes gas, the other head lights it.
Fishlegs: [whispering] Razor-sharp serrated teeth that inject venom for pre-digestion. Prefers ambush attack, crushing its victims...
Hiccup: Will you please stop that?

Fishlegs: Chances of survival are dwindling into single-digits now...

[Hiccup prepares to open one of the dragon pens]
Fishlegs: If you're planning on getting eaten, I'd definitely go with the Gronckle.
[Hiccup turns in surprise and sees his entire class lined up behind him]
Tuffnut: [approaching] You were wise to seek help from the world's most deadly weapon...
Hiccup: Huh?
Tuffnut: It's me!
Snotlout: [shoves Tuffnut aside] I love this plan!
Hiccup: I didn't...
Ruffnut: [shoves Snotlout aside] You're crazy!
[leans in, romantically]
Ruffnut: I like that...
Astrid: [firmly yanks her away] So... what is the plan?

Hiccup: He never listens, and when he does it's always with this scowl like someone's skimped off the meat in his sandwich.
[Imitates his father]
Hiccup: 'Excuse me, barmaid. I'm afraid you brought me the wrong offspring. I ordered an extra large boy with beefy arms, extra guts and glory on the side. This here? This is a talking fish bone!'
Gobber: Now, you're thinking about this all wrong. It's not so much what you look like, it's what's inside that he can't stand.
Hiccup: Thank you, for summing that up. (-How To Train Your Dragon)

EVE: [EVE repeats "Directive" in multiple languages, ending with... ] Directive?
[WALL-E demonstrates his trash-compacting function]
WALL.E: Ta-dah!
EVE: Ohhh...
WALL.E: Dirrrrr-ect-tivvve?
EVE: Directive?
[WALL-E nods]
EVE: [Eve turns away, sharply] Classified.
WALL.E: Oh.

Ship's Computer: Caution: Rogue robots. Caution...
WALL.E: Oh, EVE.
[points at screen with them on it, EVE fires a laser blast at the screen, destroying it]
WALL.E: Ohh...
[folds up inside himself]

Captain: We'll see who's powerless now!

Ship's Computer: Voice confirmation required.
Captain: Uhhh...
Ship's Computer: [after the "uhh" echoes] Accepted.

Mary: I didn't know we had a pool!

Mary: [a group of youngsters rolls on the floor of the leaning ship toward where there arms stretch out as a barrier beyond the other fallen passengers] John, get ready to have some kids!

Captain: Computer, define 'dancing.'

WALL.E: [M-O has finished cleaning a severely damaged WALL-E, who strains to give a handshake] WALL-E.
MO: [M-O scrubs WALL-E's hand, then shakes it] M-O.
[M-O reverts to his box form]
WALL.E: [pause] M-O?
MO: M-O.
WALL.E: [another pause] M-O.

Ship's Computer: Time for lunch... in a cup!

[repeated line]
EVE: WALL-E!

[last lines]
Captain: This is called farming! You kids are gonna grow all kinds of plants! Vegetable plants, pizza plants.
[laughs]
Captain: Oh, it's good to be home!

Ship's Computer: [advertising bodysuits] Try blue, it's the new red!

[repeated line]
MO: Foreign contaminant!

Mary: [Mary is looking at the stars outside the Axiom while other passengers pass idly by] Oh! So many stars! Ah.
[she sees WALL-E and EVE flying around outside]
Mary: Oh! Hey! That's what's-his-name!
[backs up, bumps into John]
John: Hey! What the-?
Mary: Look! Look, look, look!
[she shuts off his chair and screen, making him aware of his surroundings]
John: Huh? What?
[sees WALL-E and EVE]
John: Hey... I know that guy! It's uh, uh... WALL-E! That's it! Hey - WALL-E! It's your buddy John!
Mary: [simultaneously] Hey! Hi, WALL-E!
[John casually puts his right hand upon Mary's]
John: [looks down, somewhat surprised; looks up at Mary, smiles] Hi.
Mary: [smiles] Hi.

Captain: [Auto has confined him to his quarters] Stupid wheel!

EVE: Name?
WALL.E: WALL-E.
EVE: WALL-E?
[giggles]
EVE: EVE.
WALL.E: [attempting to pronounce it] Eeee...
EVE: EVE.
WALL.E: Eeeee... aah.
EVE: "EVE"! "EVE"!
WALL.E: Eeeee... va?
[EVE giggles]

Captain: 12:30? AUTO, why didn't you wake me for morning announcements? Honestly, it's the one thing I get to do on this ship.
[Resets the ship back to morning]
Captain: Well, good morning, everybody, and welcome to day 255,642 aboard the Axiom. As always, the weather is a balmy 72 degrees and sunny, and, uh... Oh, I see the ship's log is showing that today is the 700th anniversary of our five year cruise. Well, I'm sure our forefathers would be proud to know that 700 years later we'd be... doing the exact same thing they were doing. So, be sure next mealtime to ask for your free sep-tua-centennial cupcake in a cup. Wow, look at that.

Captain: [Standing in front of a hologram of the plant from EVE's camera] Haha! Look what I got, AUTO!
AUTO: Not possible.
Captain: [chuckles] That's right, the plant. Oh, you want it? Come and get it, blinky.

WALL.E: [showing EVE bubble-wrap and popping a bubble] Pop!
[points to EVE]
WALL.E: You pop!

AUTO: [Auto has just shown the Captain directive A-113, which is a message not to return to Earth due to rising toxicity levels making life unsustainable] Now, the plant.
Captain: No wait a minute, Computer when was the message sent out to the Axiom?
Ship's Computer: Message received in the year 2110.
Captain: That's... That's nearly 700 years ago! Auto, things have changed. We've gotta go back.
AUTO: Sir, orders are do not return to Earth.
Captain: But life is sustainable now. Look at this plant. Green and growing. It's living proof he was wrong.
AUTO: Irrelevant, Captain.
Captain: What? It's completely relevant.
[moves toward the window]
Captain: Out there is our home. *HOME, Auto. And it's in trouble. I can't just sit here and-and-do nothing.
[moves back toward Auto]
Captain: That's all I've ever done! That's all anyone on this blasted ship has ever done. Nothing!
AUTO: On the Axiom, you will survive.
Captain: I don't want to survive. I want to live.
AUTO: Must follow my directive.
Captain: [groans in frustration, then turns around and notices that Auto is looming closer in the portraits of his predecessors. AUTO looms close behind him making him tighten his cap] I'm the captain of the Axiom. We are going home *today*.
[Auto advances toward him threateningly, causing the Captain to flinch]

Captain: Define "hoe-down".
Ship's Computer: Hoe-down: A social gathering at which lively dancing would take place.
Captain: [AUTO appears near the captain] AUTO! Earth is amazing! These are called "farms". Humans would put seeds in the ground, pour water on them, and they grow food - like, pizza!
AUTO: [shuts off information display] Good night, Captain.
Captain: Aww!
[starts to move away from workstation, but stops and turns around slightly]
Captain: Psst - Computer, define "dancing".
Ship's Computer: [WALL-E and EVE are seen outside a window in space, flying around] Dancing: A series of movements involving two partners, where speed and rhythm match harmoniously with music.
[camera cuts to outside the Axiom, and WALL-E and EVE continue to "dance"]

MO's computer: [after scanning Wall-E screen says 100%] Foreign contaminant!
MO: Huh? Whoa-whoa-whoa whoa whoa!

Captain: AUTO, you are relieved of duty!
[strains up and switches AUTO to "manual"]
AUTO: Nooooooooo. (-WALL-E)

Oogway: There are no accidents.

Oogway: My friend, the panda will never fulfill his destiny, nor you yours until you let go of the illusion of control.
Shifu: Illusion?
Oogway: Yes.
[points at peach tree]
Oogway: Look at this tree, Shifu: I cannot make it blossom when it suits me nor make it bear fruit before its time.
Shifu: But there are things we *can* control: I can control when the fruit will fall, I can control where to plant the seed: that is no illusion, Master!
Oogway: Ah, yes. But no matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Shifu: But a peach cannot defeat Tai Lung!
Oogway: Maybe it can, if you are willing to guide, to nurture it, to believe in it.
Shifu: But how? How? I need your help, master.
Oogway: No, you just need to believe. Promise me, Shifu, promise me you will believe.

[last lines]
Po: You wanna get something to eat?
Shifu: [sighing] ... Yeah.

Po: [serving a noodle bowl to a customer into which he accidentally pitched a throwing star] Careful, that soup is... sharp!

Po: Skadoosh!

Po: There is no charge for awesomeness... or attractiveness.

Tai Lung: You...cannot defeat me! You... you're just a big... fat... panda!
[He throws a weak punch, Po catches his hand by the finger]
Po: I'm not a big fat panda. I'm THE big fat panda.

Tai Lung: The Wuxi finger hold!
Po: Oh, you know this hold?
Tai Lung: You're bluffing. You're bluffing! Shifu didn't teach you that.
Po: Nope. I figured it out. Skadoosh!

[first lines]
Po: Legend tells of a legendary warrior whose kung fu skills were the stuff of legend.

Po: He was so deadly, in fact, that his enemies would go blind from over-exposure to pure awesomeness!

Mr. Ping: We are noodle folk. Broth runs through our veins.

Tigress: It is said that the Dragon Warrior can go for months without eating, surviving on the dew of a single ginko leaf and the energy of the universe.
Po: Then I guess my body doesn't know I'm the Dragon Warrior yet. It's gonna take a lot more than dew, and, uh, universe juice.

Tigress: [seeing Po bounce down the palace steps] If he's smart, he won't come back up those steps.
Monkey: But he will.
Viper: He's not gonna quit, is he?
Mantis: He's not gonna quit bouncing, I'll tell you that.

Tigress: One would think that Master Oogway would choose someone who actually knew kung fu.
Crane: Yeah, or could at least touch his toes.
Monkey: Or even see his toes.

Po: The Furious Five! You look a lot bigger than your action figures! Except you, Mantis. You're about the same.

Po: The Sword of Heroes! Said to be so sharp you can get cut just by looking at - Ow!

Viper: Are you ready?
Po: I was born read...
[Viper attacks, Po is flung and lands on his head]
Viper: I'm sorry, Brother! I thought you said you were ready.
Po: That was awesome! Let's go again!

Po: Ow! I thought you said acupuncture was going to make me feel better.
Mantis: Trust me, it will. It's just not easy to find the right nerve points under all this...
Po: Fat?
Mantis: Fur. I was gonna say fur.
Po: Sure you were.

Shifu: One must first master the highest level of kung fu, and that is clearly impossible if that one is someone like you.
Po: Someone like me?
Shifu: Yes! Look at you! This fat butt-
[he whacks Po on his butt]
Po: Aah!
Shifu: ...Flabby arms-
[he hits Po on his arm]
Po: Those are sensitive in the flabby parts...
Shifu: And this ridiculous belly!
Po: Hey!
Shifu: And your utter disregard for personal hygiene!
Po: Now wait a minute, that was a little uncalled for...
Shifu: Don't stand that close, I can smell your breath.
Po: Listen, Oogway said that I was-
[Shifu grabs his finger and he gasps]
Po: The Wuxi finger hold? No no, the Wuxi finger hold!
Shifu: Oh-hoho, you know this hold?
Po: Developed by Master Wuxi in the 3rd dynasty, yes!
Shifu: Oh, then you must know what happens when I flex my pinkie?
Po: [gasps] No no no no!
Shifu: You know the hardest part of this? The hardest part is cleaning up afterwards.
[chuckles]
Po: Okay... Okay take it easy...
[Po falls to his knees]
Shifu: Now listen closely, panda. Oogway may have picked you, but when I'm through, I promise you, you're going to wish he hadn't! Are we clear?
Po: Oh, yeah! We're clear, we're clear, we're so clear!
Shifu: Good.
[chuckles]
Shifu: I can't wait to get started.

Oogway: [walking towards Po] Ah! I see that you have found the Sacred Peach Tree of Heavenly Wisdom!
Po: [Po turns around with a lot of peaches stuffed in his mouth] Oh! Is that what this is? I'm so sorry! I just thought it was a regular peach tree!

Zeng: [watching Tai-Lung break out of his prison restraints] We're dead. So very, very dead.

Po: I just ate, so I'm still digesting, so my kung fu may not be as good as later on.

Shifu: Believe me, citizens, you have not seen anything yet!
Po: I know!

Shifu: [intercepting Po, who is fleeing the temple after learning he has to face Tai Lung soon] You cannot leave! A real warrior never quits!
Po: Watch me!
[tries to run around Shifu]
Po: Come on! How am I supposed to beat Tai Lung? I can't even beat you to the stairs!
Shifu: You will beat him because you are the Dragon Warrior!
[pokes Po in his stomach]
Po: You don't believe that!
[Shifu swipes at his hand with Oogway's stick]
Po: You never believed that! From the first moment I got here, you've been trying to get rid of me!
[Shifu knocks him to the ground]
Shifu: Yes! I was! But now I ask you to trust in your master as I have come to trust in mine.
Po: You're not my master. And I'm not the Dragon Warrior.
Shifu: Then why didn't you quit? You knew I was trying to get rid of you, yet you stayed!
Po: Yeah, I stayed. I stayed because everytime you threw a brick at my head or said I smelled; it hurt, but it could never hurt more than everyday of my life just being me. I stayed because I thought if anyone can change me, can make me not me, it was you! The greatest kung fu teacher in all of China!
Shifu: I can change you! I can turn you into the Dragon Warrior! And I will!
Po: Come on! Tai Lung is on his way here right now! And even if it takes him a hundred years to get here, how are *you* gonna change *this* into the Dragon Warrior? Huh? How? How? How!
Shifu: I don't know!
[sighs]
Shifu: I don't know.
Po: [sighs and frowns sadly] That's what I thought.

Shifu: But who? Who is worthy to be trusted with the secret to limitless power? To become the Dragon Warrior?
Oogway: I don't know.

Po: No! The Legendary Urn of Whispering Warriors; said to contain the souls of the entire Tenshu Army!
Po: [whispering to the urn] Hello?
Shifu: [from behind Po] Have you finished sight-seeing?
Po: [stunned, thinking the voice had come from the urn] Sorry, I should've come to see you first.
Shifu: My patience is wearing thin.
Po: Oh, well, I mean it's not like you were going anywhere.

Shifu: Our only hope is the Dragon Warrior.
Tigress: The panda?
Shifu: Yes, the panda!
Tigress: Master, please!
[pushes chair out]
Tigress: Let us stop Tai Lung, this is what you've trained us for!
Shifu: No! It is not your destiny to defeat Tai Lung, it is his!
[points at Po, then realizes he's not there]
Shifu: Where'd he go?

Oogway: One often meets his destiny on the road he takes to avoid it.

Tigress: Shifu loved Tai Lung like he had never loved anyone before... or since. And now, he has a chance to make things right. To train the true Dragon Warrior. And he's stuck with you, a big, fat panda who treats it like a joke.
[Po makes a sudden funny face and Tigress gets angry and attempts to smack him]
Tigress: Oh that is it!
Mantis: Wait, my fault! I accidentally tweaked his facial nerve!
[Po falls to the ground revealing a lot of needles in his back]
Mantis: And may have also stopped his heart.

Po: [looking around at the historical artifacts in the palace] Wow! I've only seen paintings of that painting!

Po: Maybe I should just quit and go back to making noodles.
Oogway: Quit, don't quit? Noodles, don't noodles? You are too concerned about what was and what will be. There is a saying: yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the "present."

Po: [breathing heavily] I know you're trying to be all mystical and Kung Fu-ey, but could you tell me where we're going?

Po: [after being hit in the crotch] Oh! My tenders!

Po: [checking to make sure Shifu is okay after his fight with Tai Lung] Master! Shifu! Shifu, are you okay?
Shifu: [coughs] Po, you're alive. Or we're both dead.
Po: No, Master I didn't die. I defeated Tai Lung.
Shifu: You did?
[Po nods and smiles]
Shifu: Wow. It is as Oogway foretold, you are the Dragon Warrior. You have brought peace to this valley and... and to me. Thank you, thank you Po. Thank you, thank you.
[slowly lays his head back down, assumingly dead]
Po: [Po looks disbelievingly at the red panda] No! No no no, don't die, Shifu please!
Shifu: I'm not dying, you idiot!
[he catches himself]
Shifu: Ah, Dragon Warrior, I am simply at peace.
[lays down and folds his hands together, smiling]
Shifu: Finally.
Po: Ooh, so um, I should... stop talking?
Shifu: If you can.

Shifu: [after having dragged Po up the mountain and said Panda is trying to cool down] Panda, we do not wash our pits in the Pool of Sacred Tears.
Po: [quickly shakes his hand off] The Pool of-?
Shifu: This is where Oogway unraveled the mysteries of harmony and focus. This is the birth place of kung fu.
[Po is shocked, and it shows a glimpse of Oogway before Shifu jumps up to a giant rock]
Shifu: Do you want to learn kung fu?
Po: Yah!
Shifu: Then I *am* your master!
Po: Okay!
[sniffles]
Shifu: Don't cry.
Po: Okay.
[wipes his nose and smiles]

Po: [standing before a training dummy] Hey, what you got? You got nothing because I got it right here. You picking on my friends? Get ready to feel the thunder. Come out with the crazy feet. What you goin' to do about the crazy feet. I'm a blur! I'm a blur! You never seen *Bear* style!

Monkey: [after the Furious Five bowed to Po in his dream] We should hang out.
Po: Agreed.

Mr. Ping: The secret ingredient is... nothing!
Po: Huh?
Mr. Ping: You heard me. Nothing! There is no secret ingredient.
Po: Wait, wait... it's just plain old noodle soup? You don't add some kind of special sauce or something?
Mr. Ping: Don't have to. To make something special you just have to believe it's special.
[Po looks at the scroll again, and sees his reflection in it]
Po: There is no secret ingredient...

Gang Boss: I see you like to chew. Then perhaps you should chew... on my fist!
[smashes fist on table]
Po: [voice-over] The warrior said nothing, for his mouth was full. And then he swallowed...
[swallows]
Po: ...and then he spoke: "Enough talk, let's fight!"

Shifu: Master! I have... it's very bad news!
Oogway: Ah, Shifu. There is just news. There is no good or bad.
Shifu: Master, your vision. Your vision was right! Tai-Lung has broken out of prison! He's on his way!
[pause]
Oogway: That IS bad news.

[Tai Lung, after evading all the prison's deathtraps, leaps to the last one, a cluster of dynamite, and pulls it free]
Zeng: Can we run now?
Commander Vachir: [quavering] Yes.

Shifu: After you, Panda.
Po: What? Just like that? No sit-ups? No ten-mile hike?
Shifu: I vowed to train you, and you have been trained. You are free to eat.
[Po picks up his chopsticks]
Shifu: Enjoy.
[Po lifts a dumpling to his mouth, but it is snatched away]
Po: Hey!
Shifu: I said, you are free to eat. Have a dumpling.
[Po tries another dumpling, it is snatched away again]
Shifu: You-are-free-to-eat.
Po: Am I?
Shifu: Are you?

[Po slurps up noodles, one ends up draped on his nose like Shifu's mustaches. Everyone starts chuckling]
Po: What?
Mantis: Oh, nothing... Master Shifu.
Po: Oh, yeah, yeah.
[imitating Shifu]
Po: You'll never be the Dragon Warrior, unless you lose 500 pounds and brush your teeth!
[everyone except Tigress laughs]
Po: What is that noise you're making? Laughter? I never heard of it! Work hard, panda, and someday, you will have ears like mine.

[after completing his training]
Shifu: You have done well, Panda.
Po: Done well? Done well? Ha, I've done awesome!
[Elbows Shifu]
Shifu: The sign of a true hero is humility. But, yes, you have done...
[elbows Po, causing him to stagger]
Shifu: ... awesome.
[They laugh]

Tai Lung: [growls] I rotted in jail for 20 years because of YOUR weakness!
Shifu: Obeying your master is not weakness!
Tai Lung: You knew I was the Dragon Warrior! You always knew! But when Oogway said otherwise, what did you do? What did you do? NOTHING!
Shifu: You were not meant to be the Dragon Warrior, that was not my fault!
Tai Lung: Not your fault? Who filled my head with dreams? Who drove me to train until my bones cracked? Who denied me my destiny?
Shifu: It was never my decision to make!
[gazes at Oogway's shrine and picks up his staff]
Tai Lung: It is NOW. Give me the Scroll.
Shifu: I would rather die.

Shifu: Let us begin.
Po: What? Uh... I don't think I can do all those moves right away.
Shifu: [chuckles] Well, we'll never know unless we try, will we?
Po: Well, maybe we could start out with something more at, you know, my level.
Shifu: And what level is that?
Po: Uh... level zero? How about that, level zero?
Shifu: [chuckles] There is no such thing as level zero.
Po: Well, what about that?
[He indicates a small dummy]
Shifu: That? We use that for training children, and for propping the door open when it gets hot. But, if you insist...

[watching Po get massacred by the training hall's obstacle course]
Shifu: This'll be easier than I thought.

Tai Lung: Who are you?
Po: Buddy, I... am the Dragon Warrior!
[bows over, panting from the stairs]
Tai Lung: [incredulous] You?
[laughs]
Tai Lung: He's a panda! You're a panda! What are you gonna do, big guy? Sit on me?
Po: Don't tempt me.

Shifu: When you focus on kung fu, when you concentrate... you stink.
[Po frowns]
Shifu: But perhaps that is my fault. I cannot train you the way I have trained the Five. I now see that the way to get through to you is, with this.
[pulls out a bowl of dumplings]
Po: Oh great, 'cause I am hungry!
Shifu: [laughs and pulls the bowl away] Good. When you have been trained, you may eat.
[He eats a dumpling]
Shifu: Let us begin.

[Tai-Lung's nerve strikes are only tickling Po]
Po: [laughing] Stop! I'm gonna pee!

Shifu: [after watching Po getting beat up by the obstacle course] There is now a level zero.

Po: What are you pointing at?
Oogway: The Dragon Warrior.
Tigress: Master, were you pointing at me?
Oogway: Him.
Po: Me?
[Moves around, Oogway's finger follows him]
Oogway: You.
Po: What?
Oogway: [Raising Po's arm with his stick] The universe has brought us the Dragon Warrior!
Po: What?
Tigress, Crane, Monkey, Mantis, Viper: What?
Shifu: What?
Mr. Ping: What?

Commander Vachir: Hey, tough guy! Did you hear? Oogway is about to give someone the Dragon Scroll, and it's not gonna be you.
Zeng: What are you doing? You'll make him mad!
Commander Vachir: What's he gonna do about it? I've got him completely immobilized.
[Stomps on Tai Lung's tail; he doesn't even flinch]
Commander Vachir: Oh, did I step on the widdle kitty's tail? Aw.

Zeng: Tai Lung is free! I must warn Shifu!
Commander Vachir: You're not going anywhere, and neither is he!

Tai Lung: All I ever did, I did to make you proud! Tell me how proud you are Shifu! Tell me! TELL ME!
Shifu: I have always been proud of you. From the first moment I've been proud of you. And it was my pride that blinded me. I loved you too much to see what you were becoming, what I turned you into. I'm... I'm sorry.
Tai Lung: I don't want your apology, I want my SCROLL!

Viper: [as they're fighting Tai Lung on a rope bridge] Monkey!
Mantis: Go!
[Monkey gives the rope to Mantis and charges into battle]
Mantis: What was I thinking?

Oogway: My time has come.
[hands his staff to Shifu]
Shifu: What? What are you...?
Oogway: You must now continue your journey without me.
Shifu: No! WAIT! You cannot leave me, Master!
Oogway: You must beleive...
Shifu: MASTER!
[in a haze of peach blossoms, Oogway ascends to the heavens]

[after his defeat by Tai Lung, Master Monkey hits Po]
Monkey: He's too fast... Sorry, Po!

Po: They're five MASTERS, and I'm just ONE me!
Shifu: But you will have the one thing no one else has!

[Po gazes upon the Dragon Scroll and screams... ]
Po: It's blank!
Shifu: What?
Po: Here, look!
[Po holds out the scroll]
Shifu: No, I am forbidden to look upon...
[Shifu grabs the Scroll and looks for himself]
Shifu: But... I don't understand...

Tai Lung: The Scroll has given him power... NOOO! (-Kung Fu Panda)

Kent Mansley: The biggest thing in this town is probably the homecoming queen.

Dean McCoppin: Get back! I said get back! I mean it!
The Iron Giant: No, stop. Why?
Hogarth Hughes: It was an accident. He's our friend.
Dean McCoppin: He's a piece of hardware, Hogarth. Why do you think the army was here? He's a weapon, a big gun that-that walks.
The Iron Giant: I... I not gun.
Dean McCoppin: Yeah? What's that, huh?
[Points at huge hole the Giant's ray left on a bus]
Dean McCoppin: You almost did that to Hogarth!
The Iron Giant: No!
[Runs away]
Hogarth Hughes: Come back!
[Runs after the Giant]
Dean McCoppin: Hogarth! Hey, stop!
Hogarth Hughes: Giant, come back!
Dean McCoppin: [sees the toy gun Hogarth left on the ground] It was defensive. He reacted to the gun.

Annie Hughes: Would you say grace, please?
[Hogarth sees the Giant's hand in the kitchen]
Hogarth Hughes: Oh my God... Um, uh... oh, my God! We... thank you for the... er, food that mom has put in front of us and *stop!*... uh, the Devil... from doing bad things? And er, get out of here!... Uh, Satan? Go! Go so... that we may live in peace. Amen.
Annie Hughes: Amen. That was... hmm, really unusual, Hogarth.

Hogarth Hughes: [to the Giant, in battle mode] It's bad to kill. Guns kill. And you don't have to be a gun. You are what you choose to be. You choose. Choose.

[as the Giant flies toward the missle]
Hogarth Hughes: [in the Giant's mind] You are who you choose to be.
The Iron Giant: Superman.

Hogarth Hughes: I know you feel bad about the deer, but it's not your fault. Things die. That's part of life. It's bad to kill, but it's not bad to die.
The Iron Giant: You die?
Hogarth Hughes: Well, yes, someday.
The Iron Giant: I die?
Hogarth Hughes: I don't know. You're made of metal, but you have feelings, and you think about things, and that means you have a soul. And souls don't die.
The Iron Giant: Soul?
Hogarth Hughes: Mom says it's something inside of all good things, and that it goes on forever and ever.
[Hogarth leaves. The Iron Giant lays back to look at the stars]
The Iron Giant: Souls don't die.

[a nuclear missile threatens Rockwell]
The Iron Giant: I... fix.
Hogarth Hughes: Giant?
The Iron Giant: Hogarth, you stay. I go. No following.
Hogarth Hughes: I love you.

Hogarth Hughes: [seeing the shot deer] It's dead.
The Iron Giant: Dead?
[the Giant tries to pick up the deer]
Hogarth Hughes: Don't do that!
The Iron Giant: But... why?
Hogarth Hughes: It's dead, understand? They shot it, with that gun.
[the Giant looks at the gun; his eyes narrow and turn red]
Hogarth Hughes: Hey, are you all right?
The Iron Giant: [snaps out of it] Gun.
Hogarth Hughes: Yes. Guns kill.
The Iron Giant: Guns kill.

The Iron Giant: No Atomo... I Superman!

Hogarth Hughes: I thought you might like, you know, a bedtime story. I have some really cool ones. Mad Magazine - very funny. The Spirit - very cool. Boy's Life - eh. Oh, here. This is Superman. He's a lot like you. Crash-landed on Earth, didn't know what he was doing... but he only uses his powers for good, never for evil. Remember that.
[Giant looks at a comic with a robot like himself on the cover]
Hogarth Hughes: Oh, that's Atomo, the metal menace. He's not a hero, he's a villain. But you're not like him. You're a good guy, like Superman.
The Iron Giant: Super... man.

Hogarth Hughes: Can you talk? You know, words? Blah, blah, blah, like that? Can you do that, blah, blah, blah?
The Iron Giant: [very rusty] Blah, blah, blah.
Hogarth Hughes: Well, you get the idea, anyway.

Hogarth Hughes: You can fly? YOU CAN FLY!

General Rogard: That missile is targeted to the giant's current position! WHERE'S THE GIANT, MANSLEY?
Kent Mansley: Oooh... We can duck and cover! There's a fallout shelter not far from...
General Rogard: There's no way to survive this thing, you idiot!
Kent Mansley: You mean we're all going to...
General Rogard: To die, Mansley. For our country.
Kent Mansley: Screw our country! I WANT TO LIVE!

Hogarth Hughes: [picking up a rock] See this? This is called a rock. Rock.
The Iron Giant: [a little rusty] Rock.
Hogarth Hughes: Good.
The Iron Giant: [picks up a boulder] Rock?
Hogarth Hughes: Yes!
The Iron Giant: [picks up a tree] Rock.
Hogarth Hughes: No, no. That is a tree. Rock... tree. Get it?
The Iron Giant: Rock... tree.
Hogarth Hughes: That's right!

Hogarth Hughes: Hey, Dean! Watch this!
Dean McCoppin: All right, we're watching.
Hogarth Hughes: This one's for professionals only! Banzai!
[dives into lake]
Hogarth Hughes: [shivering] Come on in! The water's... great.
Dean McCoppin: No, thanks.
Hogarth Hughes: You... weenie!
[to the Giant]
Hogarth Hughes: Come on in. It's really, really refreshing.
[the Giant walks away]
Hogarth Hughes: What? You too? You... big baby!
[the sound of the Giant running is heard; suddenly he jumps into the water]
The Iron Giant: Banzai!

Hogarth Hughes: Well, goodbye.
[Hogarth starts walking away, the Giant follows him]
Hogarth Hughes: No, no. Me go, you stay. No following. Good.
[Hogarth walks, the Giant still follows him]
Hogarth Hughes: I told you! I'll come back tomorrow! Now, stay!
[Hogarth leaves, the Giant follows him]
Hogarth Hughes: No, no, no! Bad robot!

[a huge wave has pushed Dean into the middle of a nearby road]
Additional Voices: Hey!
Dean McCoppin: Yeah?
Additional Voices: You're right in the middle of the road!
Dean McCoppin: YEAH?
Additional Voices: All right.
[drives off]
Dean McCoppin: I think that's enough fun for one day.

Kent Mansley: [repeatedly] Where you going?
Hogarth Hughes: I'm going OUT!

Kent Mansley: Hey, where you going? Where you going, champ, chief, slugger? Where you going? Where you going?
Hogarth Hughes: I'm going out!
Annie Hughes: Well, why don't you take Mr. Mansley with you? You can show him the sights.
Hogarth Hughes: Awwww, mom, the sights?

Kent Mansley: [after his first meeting with the Hughes family] What kind of sick person would name a kid Hogar -
[stops and looks over to Hogarth's smashed B-B gun. It reads part of Hogarth's name: Hog- Hug-]
Kent Mansley: Hog Hug. HOG HUG? HOGARTH HUGHES!
[stops the car he was driving] (-The Iron Giant)

Seth Brundle: My teeth have begun to fall out. The medicine cabinet is now the Brundle Museum of Natural History. You wanna see what else is in it?

Seth Brundle: What's there to take? The disease has just revealed its purpose. We don't have to worry about contagion anymore... I know what the disease wants.
Ronnie: What does the disease want?
Seth Brundle: It wants to... turn me into something else. That's not too terrible is it? Most people would give anything to be turned into something else.
Ronnie: Turned into what?
Seth Brundle: Whaddaya think? A fly. Am I becoming a hundred-and-eighty-five-pound fly? No, I'm becoming something that never existed before. I'm becoming... Brundlefly. Don't you think that's worth a Nobel Prize or two?

Seth Brundle: You have to leave now, and never come back here. Have you ever heard of insect politics? Neither have I. Insects... don't have politics. They're very... brutal. No compassion, no compromise. We can't trust the insect. I'd like to become the first... insect politician. Y'see, I'd like to, but... I'm afraid, uh...
Ronnie: I don't know what you're trying to say.
Seth Brundle: I'm saying... I'm saying I - I'm an insect who dreamt he was a man and loved it. But now the dream is over... and the insect is awake.
Ronnie: No. no, Seth...
Seth Brundle: I'm saying... I'll hurt you if you stay.

Tawny: [after Seth says it's Tawny's turn to teleport] I'm afraid.
Seth Brundle: Don't be afraid.
Ronnie: No. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Tawny: [after Seth teleports] Wow! Are you some sort of magician?

[about Veronica's request for an abortion]
Dr. Cheevers: Listen, I don't mean to interfere, but I detect a certain uncertainty here. You know, there are tests we can do to determine whether or not...
Veronica Quaife: [interrupting] I don't want tests. Tests can't guarantee anything. The baby could start off normal and then become...
[she pauses]
Veronica Quaife: I want an abortion. I'll do it myself if I have to.

Ronnie: Don't you get it? I am finally onto something that's big. Huge.
Stathis Borans: What? His cock?

Seth Brundle: I was not pure. The teleporter insists on inner pure. I was not pure.
Ronnie: I don't know what you mean.
Seth Brundle: A fly... got into the... transmitter pod with me that first time, when I was alone. The computer... got confused - there weren't supposed to be two separate genetic patterns - and it decided to... uhh... splice us together. It mated us, me and the fly. We hadn't even been properly introduced.

Ronnie: If you *SAW* him, Stathis, if you saw how scared and angry and desperate he is...
Stathis Borans: I'm sure Typhoid Mary was a very nice person too when you saw her socially.

[first lines]
Seth Brundle: What am I working on? Uhh... I'm working on something that will change the world, and human life as we know it.

Ronnie: [after an unsuccessful test of the telepods] We've gotta do this, Seth. Talk to the tape. Get in the habbit. The world will want to know what you're thinking.
Seth Brundle: Fuck! is what I'm thinking.
Ronnie: Good... The world will want to know that... What else? Why didn't it work.
Seth Brundle: [Disappointingly] I think it turned the baboon inside-out.
Ronnie: Why?
Seth Brundle: [sigh] It can't cope with the flesh. It only seems to work on inanimate objects; nothing that's living.
Ronnie: Why?
Seth Brundle: [pause] Computers are dumb. They only know what you tell them... I must not know enough about the flesh myself. I'm gonna have to learn.
[Long pause]
Seth Brundle: I don't wanna talk now.
[Ronnie turns off the camera and watches Seth sympathetically as he walks away with his head held low in disappointment]

Seth Brundle: [to Veronica] You're afraid to dive into the plasma pool, aren't you? You're afraid to be destroyed and recreated, aren't you? I'll bet you think that you woke me up about the flesh, don't you? But you only know society's straight line about the flesh. You can't penetrate beyond society's sick, gray, fear of the flesh. Drink deep, or taste not, the plasma spring! Y'see what I'm saying? And I'm not just talking about sex and penetration. I'm talking about penetration beyond the veil of the flesh! A deep penetrating dive into the plasma pool!

Tawny: There's no elevator, I can't make it.
Seth Brundle: No, there's an elevator.
[picks her up in his arms]
Seth Brundle: There, don't you feel elevated?

[Seth Brundle is about to arm wrestle Marky]
2nd Man In Bar: Better watch out, he eats chocolate bars.
Marky: Yeah, so I noticed.

Veronica Quaife: I'm pregnant.
Stathis Borans: [dismissive] Oh, no.
[reality kicking in]
Stathis Borans: Oh, no.
Veronica Quaife: I'm pregnant with Seth's baby.

Stathis Borans: If you plan to make anything disappear, please let me know - I've got an assistant editor who has outlived his usefulness.

Seth Brundle: It's not ready yet.
Veronica Quaife: It seems to work okay...
Seth Brundle: No, something important's missing.
Veronica Quaife: Yeah?
Seth Brundle: Yeah.
Veronica Quaife: Which is?
Seth Brundle: I can only teleport inanimate objects.
Veronica Quaife: Well, what happens when you try to teleport living things?
Seth Brundle: Not while we're eating.
Veronica Quaife: [pointing on her cheeseburger] It can't be worse than this.

Veronica Quaife: Oh are you serious? A monkey just came apart in there.
Seth Brundle: Baboon. Eat.

[Brundle sits at a table full of junk food, and explains his altered digestive system to Veronica and her videocamera]
Seth Brundle: How does Brundlefly eat? Well, he found out the hard and painful way that he eats very much the way a fly eats. His teeth are now useless, because although he can chew up solid food, he can't digest them. Solid food hurts. So like a fly, Brundlefly breaks down solids with a corrosive enzyme, playfully called "vomit drop". He regurgitates on his food, it liquifies, and then he sucks it back up. Ready for a demonstration, kids? Here goes...
[cut to Stathis, who is watching the videotape]
Stathis Borans: Oh my God. My God!

Seth Brundle: I think you're making a mistake. I think you really want to talk to me.
Ronnie: Sorry, I have three other interviews to do before this party's over.
Seth Brundle: Yeah, but they're not working on something that'll change the world as we know it.
Ronnie: They say they are.
Seth Brundle: Yeah, but they're lying. I'm not.

Seth Brundle: I've come here to say one magic word to you.
Ronnie: Yeah?
Seth Brundle: Cheeseburger.

Tawny: Are you a body builder, or something?
Seth Brundle: Yeah, I build bodies. I take them apart, and put them back together again.

Seth Brundle: Brundle, Seth. Give me a disc. Uh, I need first the teleportation S. Brundle.
Computer: [displays presence of primary and secondary teleportation elements]
Seth Brundle: [typing] If primary element is Brundle, what is secondary element?
Computer: Secondary element is not-Brundle.
Seth Brundle: Run sequence.
Computer: [identifies secondary element as a fly]
Seth Brundle: [typing] If secondary element is fly, what happened to fly?
Computer: Fusion.
Seth Brundle: [typing] Assimilation? Did Brundle absorb fly?
Computer: Negative. Fusion of Brundle and fly at molecular-genetic level.

Veronica Quaife: [to Seth after her stocking disintegrates in the telepod] Great. The world's largest microwave oven. I'm glad I didn't give you my Rolex, if I had a Rolex.

Seth Brundle: I farm bits and pieces out to the guys who are much more brilliant than I am. I say, "build me a laser", this. "Design me a molecular analyzer", that. They do, and I just stick 'em together. But, none of them know what the project really is. So...
Veronica Quaife: Wow! And, uh, the money? Bartok Science Industries Financed this?
Seth Brundle: Hmm-mmm... But they leave me alone, 'cause I'm not expensive. And they know they'll end up owning it, whatever it is.

Veronica Quaife: [to Seth after he fills his coffee with sugar] Do you normally take coffee with your sugar?

Seth Brundle: [to Veronica] I will say now, however objectively, that human teleportation, molecular decimation, breakdown, reformation, is inherently purging.

Veronica Quaife: [to Seth] Something went wrong, Seth. When you went through, something went wrong.

Veronica Quaife: You're changing Seth. Everything about you is changing. You look bad. You smell bad.
Seth Brundle: I've never been much of a bather.
Veronica Quaife: Those... weird hairs that were growing out of your back. I took them to a lab. I had them analyzed.
Seth Brundle: The hairs? The hairs? Oh... Yeah, that's a strange thing to do.
Veronica Quaife: Not as strange as the results. The guy at the lab had trouble identifying them. He finally came to the conclusion, that they were definitely not human.
Seth Brundle: Oh... Very good.
Veronica Quaife: Not human, Seth. In fact... very likely insect-like hairs.

Seth Brundle: [to himself] Oh, no. What's happening to me? Am I dying?

Seth Brundle: [to Veronica] You were right. I am diseased, and uh... it might be contagious somehow. I wouldn't want to infect you.

Seth Brundle: [to Veronica] Help me. Please...please, help me.

Stathis Borans: [to Veronica] It could be contagious. It could turn into an epidemic.

Stathis Borans: [to Veronica] Don't go back to it.

[last lines]
Veronica Quaife: No, I can't. No, I can't.

Seth Brundle: [Seth and Ronnie try an experiment late at night. Seth takes a steak and cuts it in half. He cooks one half, and the other half is teleported then cooked. He hands one plate to Ronnie and cuts her a piece] Okay. Eat this, and I need an objective opinion.
Seth Brundle: [Ronnie chews it and looks at Seth confused as to what he is doing] Yeah?
Ronnie: Well, it could use some finesse, but um... it tastes like a steak.
Seth Brundle: Mmm-hmm.
[Cuts some steak]
Seth Brundle: Now, I want you to try this... teleported half.
Ronnie: Oh, are you serious? A monkey just came apart in there.
Seth Brundle: Baboon... Eat.
Ronnie: [Ronnie eats it] Oh... Oh, oh, tastes funny.
[Spits it in a napkin]
Seth Brundle: Funny? How?
Ronnie: It tastes um... synthetic.
Seth Brundle: [Seth smiles and takes the napkin] Mmm-hmm.
Ronnie: [smiles with intrigue] So, what have we proved?
Seth Brundle: The computer is giving us its interpretation... of a steak. It's, uh translating it for us; it's rethinking it, rather than *reproducing* it, and something is getting lost in the translation.
Ronnie: Me... I'm lost.
Seth Brundle: The flesh. It should make the computer, uh crazy. Like those old ladies pinching babies. But it doesn't; not yet because I haven't taught the computer to be made crazy by the...
[smiles at Ronnie]
Seth Brundle: flesh. The poetry of the steak. So, I'm gonna start teaching it now.

Ronnie: [Ronnie is driving to Seth's lab quickly in her car. Seth is on the passenger side, breathing heavily and appears to be ill] Are you sick?
Seth Brundle: [sighs] Huh? Oh... sure.
Ronnie: You're not a very accomplished drunk.
Seth Brundle: No, no I'm always like this it's um... motion sickness. When I was a kid, I uh... puked on my tricycle.
[Ronnie goes over a speed bump. The car bounces]
Seth Brundle: [smiles weakly] I hate vehicles.

Ronnie: [to Stathis] You're a petty schmuck! (-The Fly)

Scientist: 9, you shall protect the future.

7: We... awakened something.
9: No, I awakened something. Something terrible.

[first lines]
Scientist: We had such potential. Such promise. But we squandered our gifts. And so, 9, I am creating you. Our world is ending. Life must go on.

9: Why do you listen to 1?
5: A group must have a leader.
9: But what if he's wrong?

[last lines]
7: What happens next?
9: I'm not sure. But this world is ours now. It's what we make of it.

1: Sometimes one must be sacrificed.

5: You remind me of him. You forget to remember to be afraid.

1: You owe me a new cape.

9: You're nothing but a coward.
1: How dare you challenge me? I, who kept everyone safe? Ever since you got here, things have been unraveling! You're a curse, a fool! Guided by pointless queries!
9: And you are a blind man, guided by fear.
[something flies by the window, darkening it]
1: Sometimes fear is the appropriate response.

5: 7?
2: I don't believe it!
5: You came back!
7: I never left. You finally decided to join the fight.

1: You're just like 2! He was always probing, always asking questions! Useless!
9: I was right; you DID send 2 out to die!
1: He was old! He was WEAK!

1: When we awoke in this world, it was chaos. Man and machine attacked each other with fire and metal. I lead us here to sanctuary and here we waited out the war. Slowly, the world grew still until all that remained, was The Beast. Now we wait for it too to sleep.
9: But where did it come from? Why is it hunting us?
1: Questions like that are pointless.

6: NO! You mustn't destroy it! They're trapped! Don't you see it? They're trapped inside! They're INSIDE!

6: The source! The source! Go back... to the source.

7: [after her first attempt to destroy the Winged Beast] Let me try that again.

1: [Looking at 9, standing in front of the "Great Machine", and talks to himself about the human race] They've left us nothing. Nothing. Why do we have to right their wrongs? Sometimes one must be sacrificed.
[1 runs and pushes 9 away from the energy beams that consequently suck his soul instead]

7: They're free now.

5: I don't mind having one eye. It just means I can focus on one thing at a time. (-9)

Paul Edgecomb: A big man is ripping your ears off Percy. I'd do as he says.

Paul Edgecomb: Your name is John Coffey?
John Coffey: Yes sir boss. Like the drink, only not spelled the same.
Paul Edgecomb: Oh, you can spell can you?
John Coffey: Just my name boss. J-O...

John Coffey: I couldn't help it, boss. I tried to take it back, but it was too late.

Paul Edgecomb: What did you just do to me?
John Coffey: I helped it. Didn't I help it? I just took it back, is all. Awful tired now, boss. Dog tired.

Dean Stanton: What did you do?
John Coffey: I helped Del's mouse become a circus mouse. Gonna live in a mouse city. Down in...
Brutus "Brutal" Howell: Florida?
John Coffey: [John nods]
John Coffey: Boss Percy bad. He mean. He stepped on Del's mouse. I took it back though.

Paul Edgecomb: What do you want me to do John? You want me to let you run out of here, see how far you can get?
John Coffey: Why would you do such a foolish thing?
Paul Edgecomb: On the day of my judgment, when I stand before God, and He asks me why did I kill one of his true miracles, what am I gonna say? That it was my job? My job?

Old Paul Edgecomb: I guess sometimes the past just catches up with you, whether you want it to or not.

Old Paul Edgecomb: They usually call death row the Last Mile, but we called ours the Green Mile, because the floor was the color of faded limes. We had the electric chair then. Old Sparky, we called it. I've lived a lot of years, Ellie, but 1935 takes the prize. That was the year I had the worst urinary infection of my life. That was also the year of John Coffey and the two dead girls.

John Coffey: Do you leave a light on after bedtime? Because I get a little scared in the dark sometimes. If it's a strange place.

Paul Edgecomb: The man is mean, careless, and stupid. Bad combination in a place like this.

Paul Edgecomb: Men under strain can snap. Hurt themselves. Hurt others. That's why our job is talking, not yelling. You'll do better to think of this place like an intensive care ward in a hospital.
Percy Wetmore: I think of it as a bucket of piss to drown rats in. That's all. Anybody doesn't like it can kiss my ass.

[a rehearsal execution]
Brutus "Brutal" Howell: Arlen Bitterbuck, you have been condemned to die by a jury of your peers, sentence imposed by a judge in good standing in this state. Do you have anything to say before the sentence is carried out?
Toot-Toot: [gleefully] Yeah! I want a fried chicken dinner with gravy on the taters, I want to shit in your hat, and I got to have Mae West sit on my face, because I am one horny motherfucker!

Percy Wetmore: Adios, Chief. Drop us a card from hell, let us know if it's hot enough.
Brutus "Brutal" Howell: He's paid what he's owed. He's square with the house again, so keep your goddamn hands off him.

Paul Edgecomb: What do you want, John Coffey?
John Coffey: Just to help.

Paul Edgecomb: I just can't see God putting a gift like that in the hands of a man who would kill a child.

Paul Edgecomb: John, do you know where we're taking you?
John Coffey: Help a lady?
Brutus "Brutal" Howell: That's right. But how do you know?
John Coffey: Don't know. To tell the truth, Boss, I don't know much'o anything.

Melinda Moores: Why do you have so many scars?
John Coffey: Don't really remember, ma'am.

Melinda Moores: What's your name?
John Coffey: John Coffey, ma'am.
Melinda Moores: Like the drink, only not spelled the same.
John Coffey: No, ma'am. Not spelt the same at all.

Melinda Moores: I dreamed of you. I dreamed you were wandering in the dark, and so was I. We found each other. We found each other in the dark.

Paul Edgecomb: I've done some things in my life I'm not proud of, but this is the first time I've ever felt in real danger of hell.

Old Paul Edgecomb: I think Mr. Jingles happened by accident. I think when we electrocuted Del, and it all went so badly... well, John can feel that you know... and I think a part of... whatever magic was inside of him just lept through my tiny friend here. As for me, John had to give me a part of himself; a gift the way he saw it, so that I could see for myself what Wild Billy had done. When John did that; when he took my hand, a part of the power that worked through him spilled into me.
Elaine Connelly: He... what? He infected you with life?
Old Paul Edgecomb: That's as good a word as any. He infected us both, didn't he, Mr. Jingles? With life. I'm a hundred and eight years old, Elaine. I was forty-four the year that John Coffey walked the Green Mile. You mustn't blame John. He couldn't help what happened to him... he was just a force of nature. Oh I've lived to see some amazing things Elly. Another century come to past, but I've... I've had to see my friends and loved ones die off through the years... Hal and Melinda... Brutus Howell... my wife... my boy. And you Elaine... you'll die too, and my curse is knowing that I'll be there to see it. It's my attonement you see; it's my punishment, for letting John Coffey ride the lightning; for killing a miracle of God. You'll be gone like all the others. I'll have to stay. Oh, I'll die eventually, that I'm sure. I have no illusions of immortality, but I will wished for death... long before death finds me. In truth, I wish for it already.

[last lines]
Old Paul Edgecomb: We each owe a death - there are no exceptions - but, oh God, sometimes the Green Mile seems so long.

Paul Edgecomb: On the day of my judgment, when I stand before God, and He asks me why did I kill one of his true miracles, what am I gonna say? That it was my job? My job?
John Coffey: You tell God the Father it was a kindness you done. I know you hurtin' and worryin', I can feel it on you, but you oughta quit on it now. Because I want it over and done. I do. I'm tired, boss. Tired of bein' on the road, lonely as a sparrow in the rain. Tired of not ever having me a buddy to be with, or tell me where we's coming from or going to, or why. Mostly I'm tired of people being ugly to each other. I'm tired of all the pain I feel and hear in the world everyday. There's too much of it. It's like pieces of glass in my head all the time. Can you understand?
Paul Edgecomb: Yes, John. I think I can.

John Coffey: You know, I fell asleep this afternoon and had me a dream. I dreamed about Del's mouse.
Paul Edgecomb: Did you, John?
John Coffey: I dreamed he got down to that place Boss Howell talked about, that Mouseville place. I dreamed there was kids, and how they laughed at his tricks! My! I dreamed those two little blonde-headed girls were there. They 'us laughing, too. I put my arms around 'em and sat 'em on my knees, and there 'us no blood comin' outta their hair and they 'us fine. We all watch Mr. Jingles roll that spool, and how we did laugh. Fit to bust, we was.

Arlen Bitterbuck: Do you believe that if a man repents enough for what he done wrong, than he'll get to go back to the time that was happiest for him and live there forever? Could that be what heaven's like?
Paul Edgecomb: I just about believe that very thing.
Arlen Bitterbuck: I had a young wife when I was eighteen. We spent the summer in the mountains, made love every night. After we would talk sometimes till the sun came up, and she'd lay there, bare breasted in the fire light... that was my best time.

John Coffey: I'm smellin' me some cornbread.
Paul Edgecomb: It's from my mises. She wanted to thank you.
John Coffey: Thank me for what?
Paul Edgecomb: Well, you know...
Paul Edgecomb: [whispering] For a helping me.
John Coffey: Helping you with what?
Paul Edgecomb: You know.
[Paul points to his groin]
John Coffey: [John smiles] Ohh. Was your misses pleased?
[Paul nods]
Paul Edgecomb: Several times.

John Coffey: People hurt the ones they love. That's how it is all around the world.

John Coffey: There's lotsa people here that hate me, lots. I can feel it. It's like bees stingin' me.
Brutus "Brutal" Howell: Well feel how we feel then. We don't hate you. Can you feel that?

Paul Edgecomb: We'll be doing this for real tomorrow night and I don't want nobody to remember some stupid joke like that and get it going again. You ever try to not to laugh in church when something funny gets stuck in your head? Same goddamn thing.

John Coffey: That's a smart mouse, Del, he's like a circus mouse.
Eduard Delacroix: Correct, that's just what he is too. He's a circus mouse. When I get outta here, he's gonna make me rich.

[about Coffey's upcoming execution]
Paul Edgecomb: Now how about a preacher? Someone to say a little prayer with?
John Coffey: Don't want no preacher. You can say a prayer if you like.
Paul Edgecomb: Me? I suppose I could if it came to that.

Toot-Toot: Gettin' to my knees. Prayin'. Lord in Heaven, sorry for all the bad shit I've done, all the people I've trampled on, I hope they forgive me, I won't do it again, that's for sure.

Brutus "Brutal" Howell: You all right in there?
Paul Edgecomb: Yeah, for a man pissing razor blades.

Paul Edgecomb: John, do you know where we're taking you?
John Coffey: Help a lady?
Brutus "Brutal" Howell: That's right. But how do you know?
John Coffey: Don't know. To tell the truth, Boss, I don't know much o' anything.

Hal: Percy. Something to say?
Percy Wetmore: I didn't know the sponge was supposed to be wet.
Hal: How many years you spend pissing on a toilet seat before someone told you to put it up?
Paul Edgecomb: Percy fucked up, Hal, pure and simple.
Hal: Is that your official position?
Paul Edgecomb: Don't you think it should be?

Paul Edgecomb: Goddamn, the sponge is dry!
Brutus "Brutal" Howell: Well don't you stop it! Don't you do it. It's too late for that.

[about toot-toot]
Paul Edgecomb: Is his head properly shaved?
Dean Stanton: Nope, it's all dandruffy and smells.
Paul Edgecomb: I'll take that as a yes.

Eduard Delacroix: [in the electric chair, about to be executed] Don't forgot about Mouseville.
[Paul nods]
Percy Wetmore: [whispering] Hey.
[Del looks at Percy]
Percy Wetmore: There's no such place. It's just a fairytale these guys told you to keep you quiet. Just thought you should know, faggot.

Harry Terwilliger: Can you believe this? The son of a bitch pissed on me!
William 'Wild Bill' Wharton: Y'all like that? I'm currently cooking up some turds, to go with it. Nice soft 'uns. Uhhh! Have'em out to y'all tomorrow.

Jan Edgecomb: Honey, if you don't tell me what's on your mind, I'm afraid I'll have to smother you with a pillow.

[Brutal gets his first look at John Coffey, before Paul]
Brutus "Brutal" Howell: He's enormous!
Paul Edgecomb: Can't be bigger than you.

Paul Edgecomb: I wanna hear about this new inmate, aside from how big he is!
Brutus "Brutal" Howell: Monstrous big!

[after Coffey shares his cornbread with Del]
Eduard Delacroix: I thank you. Mr. Jingles thank you, my mom would thank you too but she's dead.

Paul Edgecomb: Seeing a man die isn't enough for you, you gotta be close enough to smell his nuts cook?

[after finding Mr. Jingles alive after he steps on him]
Percy Wetmore: You switched 'em. You switched 'em somehow, you bastards.
Brutus "Brutal" Howell: Yeah I always keep a spare mouse in my wallet for occasions such as this.

Paul Edgecomb: We all know who your connections are Percy. You ever threaten a man on this block again we're all gonna have a go. The job be damned.
Percy Wetmore: You done?
Paul Edgecomb: Get all this shit back in the restraining room, you are cluttering up my mile.

Paul Edgecomb: Toot, one more remark like that I'll have Van Hay roll on two for real. And I'll have one less crazy old trustee in the world.

Harry Terwilliger: Paul, we're not gonna have some Cherokee medicine man in here whoopin', hollerin' and shaking his dick are we?
Paul Edgecomb: Well actually...
Toot-Toot: Still prayin'! Still prayin'! Gettin' right with Jesus!
Harry Terwilliger: Do it quietly you old gink!
Paul Edgecomb: As I was saying, I don't think they actually shake their dicks Harry. Be that as it may Mr. Bitterbuck is a Christian, so I have the Reverend Schuster coming out.
Dean Stanton: Oh he's good. He's fast too. Doesn't get 'em all worked up.

John Coffey: [singing as he's being strapped to the electric chair] Heaven, I'm in heaven... heaven... heaven...

William 'Wild Bill' Wharton: [Brutus Howell hands out cold sodas to the other guards] Hey, hey, I'm gonna get some too, ain't I?
Brutus "Brutal" Howell: My ass you get some too.
Paul Edgecomb: What makes you think you deserve any?
William 'Wild Bill' Wharton: [mutters] 'Cause I got a big pecker...

Harry Terwilliger: Piss on ME?
[he sprays Wild Bill with a fire hose]

Paul Edgecomb: [to Dean Stanton who is standing in the doorway with a broom] You let him get past you.
Dean Stanton: No I did not.
Brutus "Brutal" Howell: Three grown men... outsmarted by a mouse.

[Eduard has just been executed, and Paul comes up to the Mile to find Wild Bill sitting on his bed, ripping out chunks of his pillow and throwing the feathers around, singing loudly]
William 'Wild Bill' Wharton: Barbecue, me and you! Stinky pinky, pew, pew! Or dilly, Jilly, Hilly or Bob! It was a french-fried Cajun named Delacroix!
Paul Edgecomb: [Paul roughly hits his baton against Wild Bill's bars] You are about ten seconds away from spending the rest of your life in the padded room!
[Wild Bill, who never takes an order or refuses to give out mayhem, stops immediately]

John Coffey: He kill them wi' their love. Wi' their love fo' each other. That's how it is, every day, all over the world.

[Dean is in tears as he kneels to strap John Coffey to the electric chair]
Paul Edgecomb: Wipe your face before you get up Dean.

John Coffey: Boss? I gots to speak with you now, Boss.
Paul Edgecomb: [prostrate on the floor after being hit in the groin] This is not a good time, John Coffey. Not a good time at all.

Dean Stanton: [after John Coffey helps Mrs. Moores] Well? What about Mrs. Moores? Was it like the mouse?
[no one answers him]
Dean Stanton: Was it a m-m... you know... a miracle?

John Coffey: Take my hand, boss. You see for yourself.

John Coffey: You can't hide what's in your heart

[after Wild Bill causes havoc and nearly kills Dean]
Harry Terwilliger: We thought he was doped. Didn't we all think we was doped?
Paul Edgecomb: You didn't ask?
[Terwilliger shakes his head]
Paul Edgecomb: Well I don't think that's a mistake you'll be needing to make again anytime soon is it?

John Coffey: Please boss, don't put that thing over my face, don't put me in the dark. I's afraid of the dark.

[Just before the guards are attacked by Wild Bill while bringing him in the mile]
John Coffey: Careful, careful...

[during Del's botched execution]
Hal: [to Paul] Why don't you shut it down?
Paul Edgecomb: He's still alive! You wanna shut it down while he's still alive?

Hal: It's a tumor, Paul. A brain tumor. They got x-ray pictures of it. The size of a lemon, they said... way deep down inside where they can't operate. I haven't told her. I can't think of how. For the life of me, Paul, I can't think of how to tell my wife... she's going to die.

Burt Hammersmith: Let me tell you something. And you listen close too, because it might be something you need to know.
Paul Edgecomb: I'm listening.
Burt Hammersmith: We had us a dog. Just a sweet mongrel, You know the kind. Well, in many ways, a good mongrel dog is like a negro. You get to know it. Often, you get to love it. It is of no particular use, but you keep it around because you *think* it loves you. If you're lucky, Mr. Edgecomb, you'll never have to find out any different. My wife and I were not so lucky. Caleb, come here for a second. Come here. Please, son.
[he turns his son's face to Paul to reveal Caleb is missing an eye]
Burt Hammersmith: He still has the one good eye. I suppose he's lucky not to be completely blind. We get down on our knees and thank God for that much at least, right Caleb? Okay, go on in now.
[turns back to Paul]
Burt Hammersmith: That dog attacked my boy for no reason. Just got it in his mind one day. Same with John Coffey. He was sorry afterwards. Of that, I have no doubt. But those little girls stayed raped and murdered. Maybe he'd never done it before. My dog never bit before, but I didn't concern myself with that. I went out there with my rifle, grabbed his collar and blew his brains out. Is Coffey guilty? Yes he is. Don't you doubt it, and don't you turn your back on him. You may get away with it once or even a hundred times. But in the end, you'll get bit. (-The Green Mile)

Rapunzel: Something brought you here, Flynn Rider. Call it what you will... Fate... Destiny...
Flynn Rider: A horse?

Flynn Rider: You smell that? Take a deep breath through the nose.
[Breathes through nose]
Flynn Rider: Really take it in. What do you think it is? Because to me, that's part man-smell, and the other part is really bad man-smell, but overall it just smells like the color brown. Your thoughts?

Flynn Rider: Frankly, I'm too scared to ask about the frog.
Rapunzel: Chameleon.

Flynn Rider: Alright blondie.
Rapunzel: Rapunzel.
Flynn Rider: Gesundheit.

Flynn Rider: [from trailer] I could get used to a view like this. Yep, I'm used to it. Guys I want a castle.

Flynn Rider: I didn't want to have to do this, but you leave me no choice. Here comes the smolder.

[from trailer]
[Flynn Rider has found a wanted poster with a drawing of him]
Flynn Rider: They just can't get my nose right!

Mother Gothel: Great. Now *I'm* the bad guy.

[looking in the mirror with Rapunzel]
Mother Gothel: Look in that mirror. I see a strong, confident, beautiful young lady.
[Rapunzel smiles]
Mother Gothel: Oh look, you're here too.
[laughs]

Mother Gothel: Skip the drama, stay with Mama!

[first lines]
Flynn Rider: This is the story of how I died.

Flynn Rider: Oh... oh no... where is my satchel?
Rapunzel: [proudly] I've hidden it. Somewhere you'll never find it.
Flynn Rider: It's in that pot, isn't it?
[Rapunzel hits him with her frying pan]

[repeated line]
Mother Gothel: I'm just teasing!

[Rapunzel pulls Mother Gothel up the tower]
Rapunzel: Hi. Welcome home, Mother.
Mother Gothel: Oh! Rapunzel, how you manage to do that every single day, it looks absolutely exhausting, darling!
Rapunzel: Oh, it's nothing.
Mother Gothel: Then I don't know why it takes so long.

Rapunzel: Who are you, and how did you find me?
Flynn Rider: [clears throat] I know not who you are, nor how I came to find you, but may I just say... Hi. How you doin'?

Flynn Rider: You were my new dream.
Rapunzel: [crying] And you were mine.

Mother Gothel: [singing] ... The *Plague!*
Rapunzel: [shocked] No!
Mother Gothel: [gleefully] Yes!

Flynn Rider: [sword-fighting with Maximus] You should know that this is the strangest thing I've ever done!
[Max flicks the frying-pan from Flynn's hands]
Flynn Rider: ... How 'bout best two out of three?

Rapunzel: Who's that?
Flynn Rider: They don't like me.
Rapunzel: Who's that?
Flynn Rider: They don't like me either.
Rapunzel: And who's that?
Flynn Rider: Let's just assume for the moment that everyone in here doesn't like me!

Rapunzel: Too weak to handle myself out there, huh, Mother?
[starts twirling frying pan]
Rapunzel: Well...
[laugh]
Rapunzel: ... tell that to my frying pa-
[accidentally hits herself with pan]

Hook Hand Thug: Go, live your dream.
Flynn Rider: I will.
Hook Hand Thug: Your dream stinks. I was talking to her.
[Referring to Rapunzel]

Rapunzel: So mother, earlier I was saying tomorrow is a really big day, and you didn't really respond, so I'm just gonna tell you: IT'S MY BIRTHDAY! Tada!
Mother Gothel: No no no, can't be. I distinctly remember, your birthday was last year.
Rapunzel: That's the funny thing about birthdays, they're kind of an annual thing.

Mother Gothel: Rapunzel, please, stop with the mumbling. You know how I feel about the mumbling. Blah blah blah blah, it's very annoying! I'm just teasing, you're adorable. I love you so much, darling.

Mother Gothel: [singing] Mother knows best./Take it from your mumsy./On your own you won't survive./Sloppy, underdressed,/Immature, clumsy,/Please!/They'll eat you up alive!

[of a Wanted poster of himself]
Flynn Rider: This is bad! This is very very bad, this is really bad...
[holds up the poster]
Flynn Rider: They just can't get my nose right!
Stabbington Brother: Who cares?
Flynn Rider: [acknowledges a poster of the Stabbington Brothers] Well, it's easy for you to say! You guys look amazing!

Flynn Rider: I can't believe that after all we've been through together, you don't trust me? Ouch.

Flynn Rider: You broke my smolder!

Flynn Rider: Let me just get this straight, I take you to see the lanterns, bring you back home, and you'll give me back my satchel?
Rapunzel: I promise.
[Flynn gives Rapunzel an unconvinced look]
Rapunzel: And when I promise something, I never ever break that promise.
[Flynn is still unconvinced]
Rapunzel: . EVER!
Flynn Rider: All right, listen! I didn't want to have to do this, but you leave me no choice. Here comes the smoulder.
[Flynn purses his lips in the hope of charming Rapunzel. She just gives him a stern look]
Flynn Rider: This is kind of an off-day for me, this doesn't normally happen. Fine! I'll take you to see the lanterns.
Rapunzel: Really?
[Rapunzel jumps in excitement, letting go of the chair Flynn is sitting on. Flynn falls on his face]
Rapunzel: Oops.
Flynn Rider: [weakly] You broke my smolder.

Flynn Rider: [Flynn looking at his 'Wanted' poster] No... no,no,no,no,no,no,no,no,no, this is bad, this is very very bad, this is really bad... They just can't get my nose right.
Stabbington Brother: Who cares?
Flynn Rider: Well, it's easy for you to say.
[Looking at the Stabbington Brother's 'Wanted' poster]
Flynn Rider: You guys look amazing

Flynn Rider: The party lasted an entire week, and honestly, I don't remember most of it.

Rapunzel: [to the group of thugs] Have some humanity. Haven't any of you had a dream?
Hook Hand Thug: [approaching her menacingly then knowingly] I had a dream once.

Hook Hand Thug: [During the 'I've Got A Dream' number] What about you?
Flynn Rider: I'm sorry, me?
Big Nose Thug: What's your dream?
Flynn Rider: No, no no. Sorry, boys. I don't sing.
[All swords are pointed at him, Flynn begins to dance and sing]

Flynn Rider: [Awakes to see Maximus staring back at him] Well, I hope you're here to apologize.

Rapunzel: [During the 'I See The Light' number; Rapunzel sees Flynn holding two lanterns for her and approaches him] . I have something for you too.
[Rapunzel hands Flynn his satchel, Flynn looks surprised]
Rapunzel: . I should have given it to you before, but I was scared. And the thing is, I'm not scared anymore. You know what I mean?
Flynn Rider: [Flynn gently pushes the satchel Rapunzel is holding in front of him aside and flashes a sincere smile] I'm starting to.

Rapunzel: I've been looking out of a window for eighteen years, dreaming about what I might feel like when those lights rise in the sky. What if it's not everything I dreamed it would be?
Flynn Rider: It will be.
Rapunzel: And what if it is? What do I do then?
Flynn Rider: Well,that's the good part I guess. You get to go find a new dream.

Flynn Rider: [Referring to Pascal] Why is he smiling at me?

Thug: That's a lot of hair.
Flynn Rider: She's growing it out. Is that blood in your mustache?
[to Rapunzel]
Flynn Rider: Blondie look at this. Good sir that's a lot of blood!

Rapunzel: I can't believe I did this.
[Whispers]
Rapunzel: I can't believe I did this. *I can't believe I did this!* Mother would be so furious. That's OK though, I mean what she doesn't know won't kill her. Oh my gosh. This would kill her. *This is so fun!* I, am a horrible daughter. I'm going back. *I am never going back!* I am a despicable human being. *Woo-hoo! Best. Day. Ever!*
[Sobs]

Flynn Rider: Does your mother deserve it? No. Would this break her heart and crush her soul? Of course, but you just got to do it.
Rapunzel: Break her heart?
Flynn Rider: In half.
Rapunzel: Crush her soul?
Flynn Rider: [squishes a grape in his fingers] Like a grape.

Rapunzel: I have made the decision to trust you.
Flynn Rider: A horrible decision really.

Rapunzel: [circling Flynn tied to a chair with her hair] So, what do you want with my hair? To cut it?
Flynn Rider: What?
Rapunzel: Sell it?
Flynn Rider: No! Listen, the only thing I want to do with your hair is to get out of it... literally!

Mother Gothel: [Rapunzel has just locked Flynn in her closet] Rapunzel! Let down your hair!
Rapunzel: One moment, Mother!
Mother Gothel: I have a big surprise!
Rapunzel: Uh... I do too!
Mother Gothel: Ooh, I'll bet my surprise is bigger!
Rapunzel: [to herself] I seriously doubt it.

Flynn Rider: Rapunzel?
Rapunzel: Eugene!
Flynn Rider: Did I ever tell you I've got a thing for brunettes?

Rapunzel: [there's a rustle in the bushes. Rapunzel jumps on Flynn's back, terrified] Is it ruffians? Thugs? Have they come for me?
Flynn Rider: [a cute little bunny hops out of the bushes] Stay calm. It can probably smell fear.

Flynn Rider: Here's your pan, here's your frog.

Flynn Rider: Ha! You should see your faces because you look -
[crashes into a beam]
Flynn Rider: ... ridiculous.

Rapunzel: We made it.
Flynn Rider: Her hair glows!
Rapunzel: We're alive. We're alive!
Flynn Rider: I didn't see that coming.
Flynn Rider: Eugene.
Flynn Rider: Her hair actually glows
Rapunzel: Eugene.
Flynn Rider: Why does her hair glow!
Rapunzel: Eugene!
Flynn Rider: [almost in hysteria] What!
Rapunzel: It doesn't just glow.
Flynn Rider: [Pascal smiles at him, smugly] Why is he smiling at me?

Flynn Rider: [after enlightening Rapunzel on his past] You can't tell anyone about this, okay? It could ruin my whole reputation.
Rapunzel: Ah, we wouldn't want that.
Flynn Rider: [reassuring her] A fake reputation is all a man has.

[Last Line]
Flynn Rider: But I know what the big question is? Did Rapunzel and I ever get married? Well I am happy to say after years and years of asking, I finally said yes.
Rapunzel: Eugene!
Flynn Rider: Okay, Okay I asked her.
Rapunzel: And we're living happily ever after!
Flynn Rider: Yes we are.

Flynn Rider: So! Hey can I ask you something? Is there any chance that I'm going to get super strength in my hand? Because I'm not going to lie, that would be stupendous... hey, you alright?
Rapunzel: [turns around] Oh. Sorry yes, just... lost in thought I guess.
Flynn Rider: [shrugs] I mean because here's the thing. Superhuman good looks, I've always had them. Born with it. But superhuman strength, can you imagine the possibilities of this? (-Tangled)

Once-ler: So you want to know what happened to the trees? I didn't think anybody still cared!
Ted: Well, that's me! The guy who still cares!

The Lorax: You have been warned!

Ted: The last seed?
Once-ler: It's not about what it is. It's about what it can become.

Once-ler: Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better, it's not.

The Lorax: [first meets Once-ler] Hey!
[Once-ler screams and falls backwards]
The Lorax: Did you chop down this tree?
Once-ler: Uhh... No.
The Lorax: Who did it?
Once-ler: [gasps] What's that?
[the Lorax looks back and Once-ler drops his ax on Pipsqueak the Bar-ba-loot]
Once-ler: I think he did it.
The Lorax: [growls] Leave! Vacate the premises! Take your ax and get out!
Once-ler: And who are you?
The Lorax: Hey, hey! I-I'm the Lorax! Guardian of the forest. I speak for the trees.
[doesn't get a reaction from Once-ler]
The Lorax: So you're telling me, that you didn't see me magically appear out of that stump. With all the thunder and lightning. You didn't see any of that?
Once-ler: No. But, that sounds amazing. Can I see some of that?
The Lorax: Yeah, I could show you. But that's not how it works.

Once-ler: Why are you so interested in trees, anyway? Why aren't you like other kids? Breakdancing and wearing bellbottoms and playing the Donkey Kongs?
Ted: [laughs] Yeah. Right, right. I don't know. Uh, I just thought it might be kinda cool to have one.
Once-ler: [knowingly] Uh-huh. It's a girl, isn't it?
Ted: [scoffs] What? No!
Once-ler: Really? Because when a guy does something stupid once, well that's because he's a guy. But if he does the same stupid thing twice, that's usually to impress some girl.
Ted: Hey, she is not just some girl! She's a woman. In high school. And she loves trees. And I'm gonna get her one.
Once-ler: Awww. How nice to see someone so undeterred by things like reality.
Ted: Thank you. (-The Lorax)

Jareth: I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave.

Sarah: Give me the child. Through dangers untold and hardships unnumbered, I have fought my way here to the castle beyond the Goblin City to take back the child that you have stolen. For my will is as strong as yours, and my kingdom is as great...
[thunder rumbles]
Sarah: For my will is as strong as yours, my kingdom as great... Damn.
[pulls the Labyrinth book out of her pocket]
Sarah: I can never remember that line.
[reads]
Sarah: You have no power over me.

Sarah: Once upon a time, there was a beautiful young girl whose stepmother always made her stay home with the baby. And the baby was a spoiled child, and wanted everything to himself, and the young girl was practically a slave. But what no one knew is that the king of the goblins had fallen in love with the the girl, and he had given her certain powers. So one night, when the baby had be particularly cruel to her, she called on the goblins for help!
Goblin: [inside the closet] Listen!
Sarah: "Say your right words," the goblins said, "and we'll take the baby to the castle, and you will be free!" But the girl knew, that the Goblin King would keep the baby in his castle for ever and ever and ever, and turn it into a goblin! And so the girl suffered in silence. Until one day, when she was tired from a day of housework, and she was hurt by the harsh words of her stepmother, and she could no longer stand it...

Sarah: I can bear it no longer! Goblin King! Goblin King! Wherever you may be take this child of mine far away from me!
Goblin: That's not it! Where did she get that rubbish? It doesn't even start with "I wish!"

Jareth: You have thirteen hours in which to solve the labyrinth, before your baby brother becomes one of us... forever.

Jareth: I've brought you a gift.
Sarah: What is it?
Jareth: It's a crystal. Nothing more. But if you turn it this way and look into it, it will show you your dreams. But this is not a gift for an ordinary girl who takes care of a screaming baby.

Jareth: You remind me of the babe.
Goblin: What babe?
Jareth: The babe with the power.
Goblin: What power?
Jareth: The power of voodoo.
Goblin: Who do?
Jareth: You do.
Goblin: Do what?
Jareth: Remind me of the babe.

Jareth: Everything I've done, I've done for you. I move the stars for no one.

Jareth: Your eyes can be so cruel, just as I can be so cruel.

Sarah: Give me the child.
Jareth: Sarah, beware. I have been generous up 'til now. I can be cruel.
Sarah: Generous? What have you done that's generous?
Jareth: *Everything*! Everything that you wanted I have done. You asked that the child be taken. I took him. You cowered before me, I was frightening. I have reordered time. I have turned the world upside down, and I have done it all for *you*! I am exhausted from living up to your expectations. Isn't that generous?

Sarah: That's not fair!
Jareth: You say that so often, I wonder what your basis for comparison is?

Sarah: You're him, aren't you? You're the Goblin King! I want my brother back, please, if it's all the same.
Jareth: What's said is said.
Sarah: But, I didn't mean it.
Jareth: Oh, you didn't?

Jareth: How you turn my world, you precious thing.

Jareth: It's only forever, not long at all.

Ludo: [in the mirror] Goodbye, Sarah.
Didymus: And remember, fair maiden, should you need us...
Hoggle: Yes, should you need us, for any reason at all...
Sarah: I need you, Hoggle.
Hoggle: You do?
Sarah: [nods] I don't know why, but every now and again in my life - for no reason at all - I need you. All of you.
Hoggle: You do? Well... WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO?
[she spins around and sees them all in her room, including the goblins. She hugs them all, and a huge party begins]

Jareth: [the Owl flies away] You remind me of the babe.
Goblin: What babe?
Jareth: The babe with the power.
Goblin: What power?
Jareth: The power of voodoo.
Goblin: Who do?
Jareth: You do.
Goblin: Do what?
Jareth: Remind me of the babe...
[End titles]
Jareth: Daddy, daddy, get me out of here. Heard about a place to stay. I, I'm underground. Nothing ever hurts again. Heard about a place to stay. Daddy, get me out of here. Where nothing ever hurts again. Daddy, daddy, get me out of here. I, I'm underground. Sister, sister, please take me down. I, I'm underground. Daddy, daddy, get me out of here. No one can blame you for walking away. Too much rejection. No love injection. Life can't be easy. It's not always swell. Don't tell me truth hurts, little girl, 'cause it hurts like hell, but down in the underground you'll find someone true.Down in the underground; a land serene; a crystal moon. Ah... It's only forever. Not long at all. Lost and lonely. That's underground. Underground. Daddy, daddy, get me out of here. Heard about a place to stay. I, I'm underground. Nothing ever hurts again. Heard about a place to stay. Daddy, get me out of here where nothing ever hurts again. Daddy, daddy, get me out of here. I, I'm underground. Sister, sister, please take me down. I, I'm underground. Daddy, daddy, get me out of here. It's only... It's only forever. It's not long at all. Lost and lonely. That's underground. Underground. Daddy, daddy, get me out of here. Heard about a place to stay. Nothing never hurts again. Daddy, daddy, get me out of here. I'm, I'm underground. Sister, sister, please take me down. I'm, I'm underground. Daddy, daddy, get me out. Wanna live underground. Wanna live underground. Wanna live underground. Wanna live underground. Wanna live underground...

Sarah: I wish the goblins would come and take you away! Right now! (-Labyrinth)

Alex the Lion: The wild? Are you nuts? That is the worst idea I have ever heard!
Melman the Giraffe: It's unsanitary!
Marty the Zebra: The penguins are going, so why can't I?
Alex the Lion: Because the penguins are psychotic!

Private the Penguin: [landing in Antarctica] Well. This sucks.

Skipper the Penguin: Africa? That ain't gonna fly!

Alex the Lion: Did he just say "Grand Central Station," or "My aunt's constipation"?

Skipper the Penguin: [Looking at the shipping label on their crate] Kowalski. What does it say?
Kowalski the Penguin: I can't make it out, Skipper - it's an older code.
Skipper the Penguin: Not good enough.
[Looking over at Mason the Chimpanzee]
Skipper the Penguin: You! Higher mammal. Can you read?
Mason the Chimpanzee: No, but Phil can. Phil?
[Phil the Chimpanzee begins motioning with his hands, which Maason interprets]
Mason the Chimpanzee: Ship to... Kenya Wildlife Preserve... Africa.
Skipper the Penguin: Africa! That ain't gonna fly! Rico!
[Rico begins coughing and spits up a paper clip, with which he picks the lock on the crate. The penguins then escape and take over the ship]

[last lines]
Private the Penguin: Skipper. Shouldn't we tell them that the boat is out of gas?
Skipper the Penguin: Nah! Just smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave.
[all four penguins waving]

Skipper the Penguin: Well boys, it's going to be ice-cold sushi for breakfast!

Julian: Come on, time to robot!
[robot voice]
Julian: I am very clever king... tok tok tok tok... I am super genius... I am robot king of the monkey thing... compute... compute.

Gloria the Hippo: Aww, you poor little baby, did that big mean lion scare you?
Mort the Mouse Lemur: Mm-hmm.
Gloria the Hippo: He did? He's a big fat old puddy-tat, isn't he?
Mort the Mouse Lemur: [gurgling and lifting arms up to be picked up]
Gloria the Hippo: Come on, mama hold you. Awww!
Melman the Giraffe: They are so cute from a reasonable distance.
Gloria the Hippo: Look at you! Aren't you the sweetest thing... aww I just wanna dunk him in my coffee!
Mort the Mouse Lemur: [giggling cutely]

Skipper the Penguin: Well, boys, our monochromatic friend's in danger. Looks like we have a job to do.
[directing Private]
Skipper the Penguin: Captain's Log: Embarking into hostile environment. Kowalski! We'll need to win the hearts and the minds of the natives. Rico! We'll need special tactical equipment. We're gonna face extreme peril. Private probably won't survive.
[Private's crayon tip breaks off and he looks up in shock]

Mort the Mouse Lemur: King Julian! What are they?
[shouts]
Mort the Mouse Lemur: What are they?
Julian: They are... aliens! Savage aliens! From the savage future!
Maurice: They've come to kill us! And take our women! And our precious metals!
Mort the Mouse Lemur: [begins weeping]
Julian: Get up Mort! Do not be near the King's feet, okay!

Mort the Mouse Lemur: They are savages! Tonight we die.
Julian: The feet! I told you about - I told you to - I told you - didn't I tell him about the feet?
Maurice: He did tell you about the feet.
Mort the Mouse Lemur: [cutely] E-he.

Julian: After much deep and profound brain things inside my head, I have decided to thank you for bringing peace to our home. And to make you feel good, I'm going to give you this lovely parting gift.
[presents Alex with his crown]
Alex the Lion: No, I couldn't. Really, I can't take your crown.
Julian: Oh, that's OK. I've got a bigger crown. It's got a gecko on it. Look at him shake! Go, Stevie, go!

Random Lemur: I like them!
Mort the Mouse Lemur: I like them, I like them! I liked them first! Before I even met them I liked them! As soon as I met them I liked them right away! You hate them compared to how much I like them!
Julian: Oh shut up, you're so annoying!

Marty the Zebra: Alex, do not interrupt me when I'm daydreaming. If a zebra's in the zone, leave him alone.

[first lines]
Alex the Lion: Surprise!
Marty the Zebra: Aaahhh! Alex! Do not interrupt me when I'm daydreaming. When a zebra's in the zone, leave him alone.

Julian: Bull's eye! Excellent shot, Maurice!

Alex the Lion: Lady! What is wrong with you? Get a grip on yourself!

Marty the Zebra: [whispering] It's the man!

Marty the Zebra: Who is it?
Alex the Lion: It's the pizza man. Who the heck do you think it is?

Marty the Zebra: Come on, Alex. Do you honestly think I intended all of this to happen? You want me to say I'm sorry? Is that what you want? Okay, I'm so...
Alex the Lion: Shush!
Marty the Zebra: He just shushed me.
Gloria the Hippo: Look, Alex, you have to be more understanding...
Alex the Lion: Shush!
Gloria the Hippo: Don't you shush me!
Alex the Lion: Do you hear that? Can't you hear that?

Gloria the Hippo: Okay, let's make a good impression on the people. Smiles, everyone. Let's get it together.
[to Melman]
Gloria the Hippo: Is that the best you can do, Melman?
Melman the Giraffe: Oh, I'm not smiling. It's gas.
Gloria the Hippo: Okay, well, great. Let's make gas look good.

Alex the Lion: They should call it the San Di-lame-o Zoo. First they tell you, "Hey, we got this great open plan, where animals can run wild." Next thing you know, you have flowers in your hair, and everybody's hugging everybody.

Alex the Lion: 27, 28, 29, 30. Hmm, 30 black and only 29 white, looks like you're black with white stripes after all. Dilemma solved. Good night!

Gloria the Hippo: It's okay! Cats always land on their... face.
[to Alex the Lion]
Gloria the Hippo: What kind of cat are you?

Old Lady: [after beating Alex with her purse and spraying him in the eyes with mace] You are a bad kitty!

Julian: How can you have the heebie-jeebies for Mr. Alex? Look at him. He's so cute. And plushy.

Gloria the Hippo: Melman! Are you okay?
Melman the Giraffe: Yeah. I often doze off while I'm getting an MRI.
Alex the Lion: Melman, you're not getting an MRI.
Melman the Giraffe: CAT scan?
Alex the Lion: No! No CAT scan! It's a transfer! It's a zoo transfer!
Melman the Giraffe: Zoo transfer? Oh, no. No, no. I can't be transferred. I have an appointment with Dr. Goldberg at five. There are prescriptions that have to be filled! No other zoo can afford my medical care! And I am not going HMO!
Marty the Zebra: Take it easy, Melman. We are gonna be o-kizzay.
Alex the Lion: No, we're not gonna be o-kizzay! Because of you, we're ruined!

Marty the Zebra: Excuse me, you're biting my butt!

Alex the Lion: Giraffe! Corner pocket!

Alex the Lion: [shouts] You maniac! You burned it up! Darn you! Darn you all to heck!
Melman the Giraffe: Can we go to the fun side now?

Melman the Giraffe: It's getting late. I guess I'm gonna...
[starts snoring]

Julian: Welcome to Madagascar.
Marty the Zebra: Mada-who-ah?
Julian: No. Not who-ah. As-car.

Skipper the Penguin: You didn't see anything!

Melman the Giraffe: [shouts] Ahhhhh! Nature! It's all over me! Get it off!

Mason the Chimpanzee: [Mason and Phil have just escaped] I hear Tom Wolfe's speaking at Lincoln Center.
Mason the Chimpanzee: [Phil signs frantically] Well, of course we're going to throw poo at him!

Mason the Chimpanzee: [Mason and Phil are surrounded by police] If you have any poo, fling it now.

Julian: They're just a bunch of pansies.
Maurice: I don't know. There's still something about that one with the crazy hairdo that I find suspicious.
Julian: Nonsense, Maurice. Come on, everybody! Let's go and meet the pansies!

Private the Penguin: [the penguins are in Antarctica and there is just a lot of wind and a big mound of snow] Well, this sucks!

[holding up book titled, "To Serve Lemurs"]
Random Lemur: It's a cookbook! A cookbook!

Gloria the Hippo: Where are the people?
Skipper the Penguin: We killed them and ate their livers.
[pause]
Skipper the Penguin: Gotcha, didn't I? just kiddin', doll. The people are fine. They're on a slow lifeboat to China.

Julian: [singing] I like to move it, move it / She like to move it, move it / He like to move it, move it / You like to... *move it*!

Julian: Shh! We're hiding. Be quiet everyone. That includes me. Shh! Who's making that noise? Oh, it's me again...

Alex the Lion: Whoa! Hold up there a second, fuzzbucket. You mean like, uh, the "live in a mud hut, wipe yourself with a leaf" type wild?
Julian: Who wipes?
Gloria the Hippo: Oy vey.
Julian: Oy vey!
Maurice: Oy vey, everybody!
[Lemurs Shout "Oy vey"]

Mort the Mouse Lemur: I'm steak! Me me me me me me me me!

Julian: What is a simple bite on the buttocks amongst friends?
[shakes his tail at Maurice]
Julian: Here, give me a nibble.

Skipper the Penguin: Remember, cute and cuddly, boys. Cute and cuddly.

Skipper the Penguin: Just smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave. Kowalski, progress report.
Kowalski the Penguin: [In a hole] We're only 500 feet from the main sewer line.
Skipper the Penguin: And the bad news?
Kowalski the Penguin: [laying a broken plastic spoon at Skipper's feet] We've broken our last shovel.
Skipper the Penguin: Right. Rico, you're on litter patrol. We need shovels, and find more Popsicle sticks. We don't want to risk another cave-in.
Private the Penguin: And me, Skipper?
Skipper the Penguin: I want you to act cute and cuddly, Private. Today we're gonna blow this dump.

Julian: [begins waving to the zoo animals on the boat] Maurice, my arm is tired, wave it for me
[Maurice begins waving Julian's arm]
Julian: Faster, you naughty little monkey!

Marty the Zebra: What are you guys doing?
Private the Penguin: We're digging to Antartica!
Skipper the Penguin: [smacks him]
Marty the Zebra: An-who-tica?
Skipper the Penguin: Can you keep a secret, my monochromatic friend?
[Marty nods]
Skipper the Penguin: Do you ever see any penguins running free around New York City?
[Marty shakes his head]
Skipper the Penguin: Of course you don't. We don't belong here. It's just not natural. This is all some kind of wacked out conspiracy. We're going to the wide open spaces of Antarctica!

Skipper the Penguin: Status.
Private the Penguin: [Walking on computer keyboard] It's no good, Skipper. I don't know the codes.
Skipper the Penguin: [Slapping Private] Don't give me excuses, give me results!

Melman the Giraffe: San Diego.
Gloria the Hippo: San Diego?
Melman the Giraffe: White, sandy beaches; cleverly simulated natural environment; wide-open enclosures. I'm telling you, this could be the San Diego Zoo. Complete with fake rocks.
[Taps on a rock]
Melman the Giraffe: Wow, that looks real.

Gloria the Hippo: It's not people, it's animals.
Melman the Giraffe: California animals. Dude.
Marty the Zebra: This is like a Puffy party.

Marty the Zebra: [about King Julian] He's got style.
Alex the Lion: What is he, like, king of the guinea pigs?
Melman the Giraffe: I think it's a squirrel.
Julian: Welcome, giant pansies. Please feel free to bask in my glow.
Alex the Lion: Definitely a squirrel.
Melman the Giraffe: Yep, a squirrel.

Julian: We thank you with enormous gratitude for chasing away the foosa.
Gloria the Hippo: The who-sa?
Julian: The foosa. They are always annoying us by trespassing, interrupting our parties, and ripping our limbs off.

Gloria the Hippo: What kind of zoo is this?
Melman the Giraffe: I just saw twenty-six blatant health code violations.
Marty the Zebra: I'm loving San Diego. This place is off the chizain.
Melman the Giraffe: Twenty-seven.

Marty the Zebra: This place is crackalacking. Oh, I could hang here. I could hang here.

Maurice: [flatly] Presenting your royal highness, our illustrious King Julian the XIII, self-proclaimed lord of the lemurs, etc, etc, hooray, everybody.

Alex the Lion: [exhausted from running and calling all night] Marty, Melman, Gloria. Gloria, Melman, Marty. Marty, Gelman, Gloria, Marty, Melman, Morty, Morty, Gelman, Regis, Kelly. Matt, Katie, Al.

Gloria the Hippo: Come on, we are New Yorkers, right?
Marty the Zebra: Yeah.
Gloria the Hippo: We're tough! We're gritty!
Marty the Zebra: Yeah!
Gloria the Hippo: We're adaptable!
Melman the Giraffe: Yeah!
Gloria the Hippo: And we are not gonna lay down like a bunch of Melmans!
Melman the Giraffe: No, we're not!

Gloria the Hippo: Don't make me come up there, I'll get the whuppin' on both of y'all.

Skipper the Penguin: Hoover Damn!

Alex the Lion: Shut up Spalding!

Maurice: What if Mr. Alex is even worse then the Foosa? I'm tellin' you, that dude just gives me the heebiedabajeebies!
Julian: Maurice, you did not raise your hand. Therefore, your heinous comment will be stricken from the record. Does anyone else have the heebiedibigibies? No? Good. So shut up.

Julian: [to Mort] Oh, shut up, you're so annoying!

Marty the Zebra: You're biting my butt!
Alex the Lion: [with Marty's butt in his mouth] No, I'm not.

Skipper the Penguin: We've been ratted out, boys.

Julian: Can you not see you have insulted the freak?

Julian: When the New York giants wake up, we must make sure they wake up in paradise.
[laugh]
Julian: Now, who'd like a cookie?

[Marty the Zebra and Alex the Lion running towards each other on the beach in slow motion with arms outstretched and Chariots of Fire music]
Alex the Lion: Marty!
Marty the Zebra: Alex!
Alex the Lion: Marty!
Marty the Zebra: Alex!
Alex the Lion: Marty!
Marty the Zebra: Alex!
Alex the Lion: [angrily] Marty!
Marty the Zebra: [afraid] Alex?
Alex the Lion: [real-time] Marty!
Marty the Zebra: Oh, Sugar Honey Ice Tea!

Alex the Lion: I'm gonna kill you, Marty!
Marty the Zebra: Take it easy! Take it easy!
Alex the Lion: And strangle you!
Marty the Zebra: Calm down!
Alex the Lion: Then I'm gonna bury you, then dig you up and clone you, and kill all your clones!
Marty the Zebra: 20-second time-out!
Alex the Lion: And then I'm never talking to you again!

Julian: [Mort grabs Julian's foot] What did I tell you about the feet! Maurice didn't I tell him about the feet!
Maurice: He did tell you about the feet.
Mort the Mouse Lemur: [cutely] He he!

[Maurice just told Marty that he was steak]
Marty the Zebra: Oh, c'mon! Do I look like a steak to you?
Alex the Lion: Yeah!
Marty the Zebra: See I told you I don't look like no... wait, what'd you say?

Julian: All we have to do is wait until they are in a deep sleep...
[10-second pause]
Julian: [shouts] How long is this going to take?

Melman the Giraffe: Hey, Alex. Psst, Alex. Alex.
Alex the Lion: What is it, Melman?
Melman the Giraffe: OK, you know how I have to get up every two hours because of my bladder infection? Well, I get up to pee, and I was walking past Marty's pen, and usually I dont look in it, but this time I was walkin' past, and I?
Alex the Lion: What, Melman? What is it?
Melman the Giraffe: It's Marty... He's gone!
Alex the Lion: He's what?
Melman the Giraffe: [looks at hole in ground the penguins have dug] How long has he been working on this?
Melman the Giraffe: [shouts gently down hole] Marty. Marty!

Melman the Giraffe: [Melman presents Marty with a gift-wrapped thermometer]
Marty the Zebra: Aw a thermometer!Thanks!I love it Melman, I love it!
[he puts it in his mouth and poses]
Melman the Giraffe: I really wanted to give you a personal present. Do you know that was my first rectal thermometer?
Marty the Zebra: Motherf...
[Marty spits it out and retches]

Alex the Lion: Well, I say we just ask these bozos where the people are.
Julian: [from the ground underneath Alex] Excuse me. We bozos have the people of course!
Melman the Giraffe: Hey, the bozos have the people.
Alex the Lion: Oh, well, great. Good. Phew!
Julian: They're up there.
[points up at skeletons dangling from tree, wearing a parachute harness]
Julian: Don't you love the people? Not a very lively bunch, though.
Alex the Lion: Oh... wow... so, do you have any *live* people?
Julian: Uhh... no, only dead ones.
Maurice: I mean, if we had a bunch of live people running around, it wouldn't be called the wild, would it?

Alex the Lion: How's the liberty fire going, Melman?
Melman the Giraffe: Great.
[in hushed voice]
Melman the Giraffe: Idiot.
Alex the Lion: I heard that.

Marty the Zebra: Okay! You all have your side, and I'll have mine. And, if you need me, I'll be over here! On the FUN side of the island, havin' a good ol' time. A great ol' time! A GREAT ol' time. A yabba-dabba-doo ol' time! WILMA!
Alex the Lion: That's not the fun side. THIS is the fun side! This is the fun side where we're gonna have a great time surviving until we go home! Whoo! I love this side; this side's the best! That side STINKS! You're on the JERSEY side of this cesspool!
Melman the Giraffe: Well, now what do we do?
Alex the Lion: Don't worry Melman, I have a plan to get us rescued.

Julian: If he is a King then where is his crown? I've got a crown, got a very nice one and its here on my head. Look at it. Have I got it on?

Marty the Zebra: Grand Central Station. It's grand, and it's central.

Alex the Lion: Today was a great day. It does not get better than this. Oh, look, it just did. Even the star is out. You won't find a star like that in the wild.
Marty the Zebra: Helicopter.

Foosa: Foosa ooh! Foosa aah!

Julian: Wait! I have a plan.
Maurice: Really?
Julian: I have devised a cunning test to see whether these are savage killers.
[Julian kicks Mort out in the open]
Marty the Zebra: Hi there!
Alex the Lion: No, I will handle this. Alex handles it. Marty says nothing.
[approaches the frightened Mort]
Alex the Lion: Hi there!
[Mort starts to cry]
Alex the Lion: Oh, geez!
Melman the Giraffe: Oh, Alex. What did you do?
Alex the Lion: No, it's okay, it's okay. I'm just a silly, just a silly lion.
[Mort cries louder]
Alex the Lion: Oh, jeez!

Alex the Lion: I'm swimming back to New York! I know my chances are slim, but I have to try!
Gloria the Hippo: Alex, you can't swim!
Alex the Lion: I said my chances are slim!

Maurice: Your friend here is what we call a deluxe model hunting-and-eating machine. And he eats steak... which is you.

Alex the Lion: Don't worry, everything's under control. We just had a little situation here. Just a little internal situation. Our friend just went a little crazy. Happens to everybody. The city gets to us all. Just went a little cuckoo in the head.
Marty the Zebra: Don't you be calling me cuckoo in the head!

Alex the Lion: That is your side of the island, and this is our side of the island. That is the bad side, where you can skip and prance around like a magical pixie horse, and do whatever the heck you wanna do all day long. This is the good side, for those who love New York and care about getting back.

[on the subway, Alex roars at a guy hiding behind a newspaper]
Alex the Lion: Augh! Knicks lost again!
Melman the Giraffe: Eh. Whatcha gonna do?
Train conductor: [over PA] Grand Central Station.
Alex the Lion: Did he just say "Grand Central Station," or "My aunt's constipation"?

Melman the Giraffe: [has dug himself a grave and written his last will and testament on the sand] And so, as I have been left to die on this forsaken island, I, Melman Mankiewicz, being of sound mind and unsound body, have divided my possessions equally among the three of you.
[a wave washes away one third of the will]
Melman the Giraffe: Oh, sorry, Alex. (-Madagascar)

Mike: Roz, my tender, oozing blossom, you're looking fabulous today. Is that a new haircut? Tell me it's a new haircut. It's got to be a new haircut. New makeup? You had a lift? You had a tuck? You had something? Something has been inserted in in you that makes you look... Listen, I need a favor. Randall was working late last night out on the scare floor. I really need the key to the door he was using.
Roz: Well, isn't that nice? But guess what? You didn't turn in your paperwork last night.
Mike: He didn't... I... no paperwork?
Roz: This office is now closed.
[Roz closes the window on Mike's fingers]
Mike: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Henry J. Waternoose: There's nothing more toxic or deadly than a human child. A single touch could kill you. Leave a door open, and one can walk right into this factory; right into the monster world.
Trainee: I won't go into a kid's room. You can't make me.

Randall: Say hello to the Scream Extractor.
Mike: Hello. Hey, where are you going? C'mon, we'll talk! We'll have a latte!

Mike: Psst, Fungus. Fungus, you like cars? Because I got a really nice car. You let me go, I'll give you... a ride... in the car.
Fungus: I'm sorry, Wazowski, but Randall said I'm not allowed to fraternize with victims of his evil plot.

[last lines]
Sulley: Boo?
Boo: Kitty!

Celia: So, uh... are we going anywhere special tonight?
Mike: I-I just got us into a little place called, um... Harryhausen's.
Celia: Harryhausen's? But it's impossible to get a reservation there.
Mike: Not for Googlie Bear. I will see you at quitting time, and not a minute later.
Celia: Okay, sweetheart.
Mike: Think romantical thoughts.
[singing]
Mike: You and me, me and you, both of us together!

Randall: Where is it, you little one-eyed cretin?
Mike: Okay, first of all, it's "creetin". If you're going to threaten me, do it properly. Second of all, you're nuts if you think kidnapping ME is going to help YOU cheat your way to the top.
Randall: [chuckles evilly] You still think this is about that stupid scare record?
Mike: Well... I did. Right up until you... chuckled... like that... And now I'm thinking I should just get out of here.

Sulley: Mike, this isn't Boo's door.
Mike: Boo? What's Boo?
Sulley: That's... what I decided to call her. Is there a problem?
Mike: Sulley, you're not supposed to name it. Once you name it, you start getting attached to it. Now put that thing back where it came from or so help me...
[Mike pauses, realizing that they suddenly have the attention of the entire scare floor]
Mike: Oh, hey. We're rehearsing a - a scene for the upcoming company play called uh, Put That Thing Back Where It Came From Or So Help Me. It's a musical.
[singing]
Mike: Put that thing back where it came from or so help me... so help me, so help me and cut. We're still working on it, it's a work in progress but, hey, we need ushers.

Randall: Okay, I think I know how to make this all go away. What happens when the whistle blows in five minutes?
Mike: I get a time out?
Randall: Everyone goes to lunch! Which means the scare floor will be...
Mike: ...Painted?
Randall: EMPTY! I'll be empty, you idiot! See that clock?When the big hand is pointing up...
[forces Mike's arm up]
Randall: and the little hand is pointing up...
[forces the other arm up]
Randall: the door will be in my station. But when the big hand is pointing down...
[forces Mike's arm down]
Randall: the door will be gone. You have until then to put the kid back. Get the picture?

Randall: If I don't see a door in my station in 5 seconds, I will personally put you through the shredder.

Charlie: Twenty-three nineteen! We have a Twenty-three nineteen!

Mike: I think I have a plan here: using mainly spoons, we dig a tunnel under the city and release it into the wild.
Sulley: Spoons?
Mike: That's it, I'm out of ideas. We're closed. Hot air balloon? Too expensive. Giant slingshot? Too conspicuous. Enormous wooden horse? Too Greek.

[Ward runs out of a door, scared to tears]
Ward's Assistant: What happened?
Ward: The kid almost touched me. She got this close to me.
Ward's Assistant: She wasn't scared of you? She was only six.
Ward: [shakes his assistant] I could have been dead. I could have DIED.
Ward's Assistant: [slaps Ward] Keep it together, man.

Sulley: What was that?
Mike Wazowski: I have no idea. But it would be a really good idea if it didn't do it again.

Sulley: [is fighting the invisible Randall when he is hit with a snowball] Mike?
Mike: Look, it's not that I don't care about the kid.
Sulley: Mike, you don't understand.
Mike: Yes, I do. I was just mad, that's all. I needed some time to think, but you shouldn't have left me out there.
Sulley: I'm being attacked!
Mike: No, I'm not attacking you. I'm trying to be honest, just hear me out. You and I are a team. Nothing is more important than our friendship.
[Boo approaches Mike, frightened]
Mike: I-I know, kid. He's too sensitive.
Mike: [Sulley is being strangled] Come on, pal. If you start crying, I'm gonna cry, and I'll never get through this. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you, but I am now. Hey, Sulley, I am baring my soul here. The least you can do is pay attention!
[Throws snowball; it hits Randall, making him visible enough for Sullivan to knock him out]
Mike: Hey, look at that, it's Randall. It's... Oh.

Sulley: [singing to Boo to get her to stop crying] Oh, he's a happy bear, and he's not crying, and neither should you, or we'll be in trouble, 'cause they're gonna find us...

TV Anchorman: If witnesses are to be believed, there has been a child security breach for the first time in monster history.
CDA Agent: We can neither confirm nor deny the presence of a human child here tonight.
Witness #1: Well the kid flew right over me and blasted a car with its laser vision.
Witness #2: I tried to get away from it, but he picked me up with his mind powers and shook me like a doll.
Witness #3: [has many eyes] It's true! I saw the whole thing!
Professor on TV: It is my professional opinion that now it's the time to *panic*!

[Sully goes looking for Boo; Mike tries to talk him out of it]
Mike: Someone else will find the kid. It'll be their problem, not ours. She's out of our hair!
[they bump into Randall]
Randall: What are you two doing?
Monster: They're rehearsing a play.
Mike: [singing] She's out of our hair...!

[Sully thinks Boo has been crushed into a cube of garbage]
Sulley: [tearfully] I can still hear her little voice.
Boo: [from down the hall] Mike Wazowski!
Mike: Hey, I can hear her too.
Kids: Mike Wazowski!
Mike: How many kids you got in there?

Randall: [Randall materializes in mike's locker] WAZOWSKI!
[Mike falls from the chair]
Randall: Well what do you know? It scares little kids and little monsters.
Mike: I wasn't scared, I have allergies

Randall: [to Sulley, hanging on from a door] Look at everybody's favorite scarer now, you stupid, pathetic waste!
[starts stomping on Sulley's fingers]
Randall: You've been number one for too long, Sullivan. Now your time is up. And don't worry, I'll take good care of the kid.
[Just then Boo jumps on Randall and attacks him; Sulley climbs back on and restrains Randall]
Boo: Roar! Roar!
Sulley: She's not scared of you any more.
Boo: Roar!
Sulley: Looks like you're out of a job.

Needleman: Hey, Mr. Sullivan!
Sulley: Guys, I told you, call me Sulley.
Smitty: [Giggling] I don't think so.
Needleman: We just wanted to wish you good luck today.
Mike: Hey, hey, hey, hey. Come on, get lost, you two. You're making him lose his focus.
Needleman: Oh, sorry.
Sulley: See you later, fellas.
Smitty: Go get 'em, Mr. Sullivan!
Needleman: Quiet! You're making him lose his focus.
Smitty: Oh, no. Sorry!
Needleman: Shut up!

Charlie: [Trying to reassure George, who is in crutches after too many encounters with the CDA] Now, George, I know you can do this. I picked out an easy door for you, in Nepal. Nice, quiet Nepal.
George Sanderson: You know, you're right. Here, Take this.
[Give Charlie his crutches]
Charlie: Go get 'em, Georgie.
[as George walks to the door, Sulley bursts through, knocks George over]
Sulley: Gangway! Look out! Coming through! Sorry, George.
Charlie: Hey, you can't just...
[Sees a sock on George]
Charlie: Twenty-three nine...!
[George grabs Charlie, stuffs the sock in his mouth and tosses him into the door, then walks away humming happily]

Sulley: [Boo is hopping up and down like she has to use a toilet] Say, that's a cute little dance you got there. It almost looks like you have to... Oh!

Trailer Son: [after Sully throws Randall into a door and destroys it] Mama! 'Nother gator got in the house!
Trailer Mom: Another gator? Gimme that shovel!
[she begins to whack Randall with the shovel] (-Monsters Inc)

Rorschach: Never compromise. Not even in the face of Armageddon. That's always been the difference between us, Daniel.

Rorschach: We need to squeeze people.
Dan Dreiberg: [sarcastic] Sure. We'll pick them out of a phone book.
Rorschach: You forgot how we do things, Daniel. You've gotten too soft. Too trusting. Especially with women.
Dan Dreiberg: No, listen, I am through with that! God, who do you think you are, Rorschach? You live off people while insulting them and nobody complains because they think you're a goddamn lunatic!
Dan Dreiberg: [Rorschach approaches Dan, who sighs and turns to him] I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that, man.
Rorschach: Daniel? You are a good friend.
[extends his hand and Dan takes it]

Rorschach: Give me back my face!

Rorschach: None of you seem to understand. I'm not locked in here with you. You're locked in here with *ME*!

[last lines]
Rorschach: Rorschach's Journal: October 12th, 1985. Tonight, a comedian died in New York.

Dan Dreiberg: [referring to the exit tunnel] There's a maintenance hatch that will let you out two blocks north.
Rorschach: I remember. I used to come here often, back when we were partners.
Dan Dreiberg: Those were good times, huh Rorschach? What happened?
Rorschach: [as he walks down the tunnel] You quit.

Jon Osterman: Reassembling myself was the first trick I learned. It didn't kill Osterman... did you really think it would kill me? I have walked across the surface of the Sun. I have witnessed events so tiny and so fast they can hardly be said to have occurred at all. But you, Adrian, you're just a man. The world's smartest man poses no more threat to me than does its smartest termite.

Jon Osterman: In my opinion, the existence of life is a highly overrated phenomenon.

Rorschach: [reading from journal] Rorschach's Journal. October 12th, 1985: Dog carcass in alley this morning, tire tread on burst stomach. This city is afraid of me. I have seen its true face. The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full of blood and when the drains finally scab over, all the vermin will drown. The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout "Save us!"... and I'll whisper "no."

Jon Osterman: I'm disappointed in you, Adrian! Very disappointed! Re-assembling myself was the first trick I learned as Dr Manhattan!Jon Osterman: What is this? Another ultimate weapon?
Adrian Veidt: You could say that.
[Veidt turns on TVs with remote]

Rorschach: Of course. You must protect Veidt's new utopia. What's one more body amongst the foundations? Well, what are you waiting for? Do it.
[Dr. Manhattan hesitates]
Rorschach: DO IT!

Jon Osterman: A live human body and a deceased human body have the same number of particles. Structurally there's no difference.

Jon Osterman: Why would I save a world I no longer have any stake in?
Laurie Juspeczyk: Do it for me.

Rorschach: [voiceover] Rorschach's journal, October 13th, 1985. 8:30 PM. Meeting with Dreiberg left bad taste in mouth. A flabby failure who sits whimpering in his basement. Why are so few of us left active, healthy, and without personality disorders? The first Nite Owl runs an auto repair shop. The first Silk Spectre is a bloated, aging whore, dying in a California rest resort. Dollar Bill got his cape stuck in a revolving door where he got gunned down. Silhouette, murdered: a victim of her own indecent lifestyle. Mothman's in an asylum in Maine. Only two names remain on my list. Both share private quarters at Rockefeller Military Research Center. I shall go to them. I shall go tell the indestructible man that someone plans to murder him.

Jon Osterman: When you left me, I left Earth.

Adrian Veidt: [Nixon finishes his speech on Veidt's TVs] Do you see? It's your super powers retreating from war. I've saved the Earth from hell. We both have. This is as much your victory as it is mine. Now we can return. Do what we were meant to.
Rorschach: We were meant to exact justice! Everyone's gonna know what you've done...
Adrian Veidt: Will they? By exposing me, you would sacrifice the peace so many died for today.
Dan Dreiberg: Peace based on a lie.
Adrian Veidt: But peace! Nonetheless.
Jon Osterman: ...He's right. Exposing Adrian would only doom the world to Nuclear destruction again.
Laurie Juspeczyk: No... we can't do this.
Jon Osterman: On Mars, you taught me the value of life. If we hope to preserve it here, we must remain silent.
Rorschach: Keep your own secrets...
[the others look as Rorscach leaves, then Jon and Adrian make eye contact]
Dan Dreiberg: Don't even think about it.
[Goes after Rorscach]
Dan Dreiberg: Rorscach! Wait.
Rorschach: [Turns] Never compromise. Not even in the face of Armageddon. That's always been the difference between us, Daniel.
[Leaves the building]
Adrian Veidt: I've made myself feel every death... see every innocent face I've murdered to save humanity.
[Turns to Jon]
Adrian Veidt: You understand, don't you?
Jon Osterman: Without condoning... or condemning. I understand.
Rorschach: [Outside, in the snow, Rorscach comes across a copy of Jon standing in the snow] Out of my way. People have to be told.
Jon Osterman: You know I can't let you do that.
Rorschach: Suddenly you discover humanity. Convenient.
[Takes off his mask]
Rorschach: If you'd cared from the start, none of this would've happened.
Jon Osterman: I can change almost anything... but I can't change human nature.
Rorschach: Of course, you must protect Veidt's new Utopia. One more body amongst foundations makes little difference. Well, what are you waiting for? Do it...
[Jon hesitates]
Rorschach: DO IT!
[Jon makes Rorscach explode into a pile of blood]
Dan Dreiberg: NOOOOOOOO!

[after killing a murderer who begged to be arrested]
Rorschach: Men get arrested. Dogs get put down.

Dan Dreiberg: So I've been thinking, I feel we have an obligation to our fraternity... I think we oughta spring Rorshach.
Laurie Juspeczyk: What?
Dan Dreiberg: Someone set him up. This whole cancer thing with Jon, it just doesn't make sense. You didn't get it.
Laurie Juspeczyk: Yeah, but breaking into a maximum security prison is a lot different than putting out a fire.
Dan Dreiberg: Yeah, you're right... it'll be more fun.

Edward Blake: No, spelt Y-E-S...
Sally Jupiter: No, spelt N-O!

Jon Osterman: Will you smile? If I admit I was wrong?
Laurie Juspeczyk: About what?
Jon Osterman: Miracles. Events with astronomical odds of occurring, like oxygen turning into gold. I've longed to witness such an event, and yet I neglect that in human coupling, millions upon millions of cells compete to create life, for generation after generation until, finally, your mother loves a man, Edward Blake, the Comedian, a man she has every reason to hate, and out of that contradiction, against unfathomable odds, it's you - only you - that emerged. To distill so specific a form, from all that chaos. It's like turning air into gold. A miracle. And so... I was wrong. Now dry your eyes, and let's go home.

Laurie Juspeczyk: The most powerful thing in the universe... still just a puppet.
Jon Osterman: We are all puppets, Laurie. I'm just the puppet who can see the strings.

Jon Osterman: Your mind goes to dark places and you wonder why I keep the worst from you.

[as they ascend a flight of glass stairs on Mars]
Jon Osterman: This is where we hold our conversation. In it, you reveal to me that you and Dreiberg have been sleeping together.
[suddenly taken aback]
Laurie Juspeczyk: You know about me and Dan?
Jon Osterman: Not yet. But in a few moments, you're going to tell me.
Laurie Juspeczyk: If you already know the future, then why were you surprised when I left you? Or when that reporter ambushed you? Why even argue about it if you already know how this is going to end?
Jon Osterman: I have no choice. Everything is preordained... even my responses.
Laurie Juspeczyk: And you're just going through the motions? The most powerful thing in the universe is still just a puppet...
Jon Osterman: We are all puppets, Laurie. I'm just the puppet who can see the strings.
Laurie Juspeczyk: And what if you're wrong?
Jon Osterman: Why does my perception of time distress you so?
Laurie Juspeczyk: Because it's inhuman. Because it makes me insane. You always say you wanna comfort me. Well, it isn't working. Look, I don't want to fight. I'm sorry I slept with Dan.
[suddenly upset]
Jon Osterman: You slept with Dan?
Laurie Juspeczyk: You just said that you already knew about that.
Jon Osterman: I said - *often* - that you were my only remaining link to humanity. Why would I save a world I no longer have any stake in?
Laurie Juspeczyk: Then, do it for me... if you really care.
Jon Osterman: When you left me, I left Earth. Does that not show you that I care? My red world here, now, means more to me than your blue one. Let me show you.

Jon Osterman: Miracles by they're definition are meaningless, only what can happen does happen.

Dr. Manhattan: [remembering Janey while on Mars] Janey accuses me of chasing jailbait. She bursts into angry tears, asking if it's because she's getting older. It's true. She's aging more noticeably every day - while I am standing still. I prefer the stillness here. I am tired of Earth. These people. I am tired of being caught in the tangle of their lives.

Laurie Juspeczyk: John! The TV said you were on Mars.
Dr. Manhattan: I am on Mars. You and I are about to have a conversation there.
Laurie Juspeczyk: What are you talking about?
Dr. Manhattan: You're going to try to convince me to save the world.

Rorschach: Once a man has seen society's black underbelly, he can never turn his back on it. Never pretend, like you do, that it doesn't exist.

Laurie Juspeczyk: Everyone will die!
Jon Osterman: And the universe will not even notice.

Rorschach: This city's afraid of me... I've seen its true face...

Laurie Juspeczyk: [about Dr Manhattan] I can't even tell if he really cares about me anymore, or if he's just pretending
Dan Dreiberg: If he's pretending, it's because he cares (-Watchmen)

Alex Forrest: [to Dan] Well, what am I supposed to do? You won't answer my calls, you change your number. I mean, I'm not gonna be ignored, Dan!

Alex Forrest: [to Dan] We were attracted to each other at the party, that was obvious! You're on your own for the night, that's also obvious... we're two adults.

Beth Gallagher: [on the phone to Alex] If you ever come near my family again, I'll kill you. Do you understand?

Dan Gallagher: [to Jimmy] She keeps calling the apartment. Every time Beth answers the phone, she hangs up. I'm scared Jimmy, and I don't want to lose my family.

Dan Gallagher: You're so sad. You know that, Alex? Lonely and very sad.
Alex Forrest: Don't you ever pity me, you smug bastard.
Dan Gallagher: I'll pity you... I'll pity you. I'll pity you because you're sick.
Alex Forrest: Why? Because I won't allow you treat me like some slut you can just bang a couple of times and throw in the garbage?

Alex Forrest: [to Beth] And don't you think I understand what you're doing? You're trying to move him into the country... and you're keeping him away from me. And you're playing happy family. Aren't you?
[begins to slice her own leg with a butcher knife]
Alex Forrest: You wouldn't understand that because you're so... so selfish. He told me about you. He told me about you. He was very honest. If you weren't so stupid, you'd know that. But you're so stupid. You're so stupid... you're a stupid, selfish bitch!

Telephone Operator: Operator. May I help you?
Alex Forrest: Operator, I've been trying to get 555-8129. 212? The recording says its been disconnected.
Telephone Operator: Just a moment please.
[pause]
Telephone Operator: I'm sorry, the number's been changed to an unlisted number.
Alex Forrest: Operator, this is a real emergency please. You need to give me that number.
Telephone Operator: I'm sorry. We're not allowed to give out that information.
Alex Forrest: Well *fuck you*!
Telephone Operator: My place or yours?
[Alex slams phone]

[last lines]
Beth Gallagher: Dan! Dan!

Alex Forrest: You're here with a strange girl being a naughty boy.
Dan Gallagher: I don't think having dinner with anybody's a crime.

Doctor: Whatever resentment she's feeling, she probably got it out of her system.
Dan Gallagher: What if she didn't get it out of her system? What then?

Alex Forrest: [to Dan] I guess you thought you'd get away with it. Well, you can't.

Dan Gallagher: Why are you trying to hurt me?
Alex Forrest: I'm not trying to hurt you Dan, I love you!
Dan Gallagher: You what?
Alex Forrest: I love you!
Dan Gallagher: You don't even know me
Alex Forrest: How can you say that? (-Fatal Attraction)

Rango: Now, remember son: stay in school, eat your veggies, and burn everything but Shakespeare.

Rattlesnake Jake: [after Beans refuses to sign a deed] Sign the damn paper, woman!
Beans: Go to Hell!
Rattlesnake Jake: [wraps Beans in his coils and suspends her upside down] Where do you think I come from?

Rango: [after some kids throw rocks at him] Hey! What was that for?
Priscilla: You're funny-looking.
Rango: Well? You're funny-looking too.
Priscilla: That's a funny-looking shirt.
Rango: That's a funny-looking dress.
Priscilla: You got funny-looking eyes.
Rango: You got a funny-looking face!
Priscilla: [small pause] You're a stranger. Strangers don't last long here.
[walks away]

Rango: Is this Heaven?
Spirit of the West: If it were, we'd be eatin' Pop-Tarts with Kim Novak.

Rango: I think the metaphor broke my spleen.

Spirit of the West: No man can walk out of his own story.

Rango: Now, we ride!

Rattlesnake Jake: [sees bullet] One bullet. You were right. I tip my hat to you... One legend to another.

Rattlesnake Jake: [to Rango] Thirsty... "Brother"?
[fills a glass with his venom]

Rango: [Wounded Bird is scratching his down feathers and scattering them into the wind] I see you're communicating with the great spirits.
Wounded Bird: No. I'm molting. It means I'm ready to mate.

Waffles: [Rango and his posse have found new purpose in their search for the outlaws] What exactly are we gonna do now?
Rango: Now... we ride!
[whip cracks; Rango stops and looks to his right, puzzled]
Rango: [the band of mariachi owls stands a ways away with their instruments, waiting; Rango shouts to them] That means we're riding now! This moment.
[another whip is heard and the owls start playing the background music; everyone is riding roadrunners in the next cut]

Rock-Eye: [the hawk drops a bottle with Rango inside it directly on top of Rock-Eye the Toad, who is hiding from the hawk as a rock, from a great height] Ai! ¡Madre de Dios!
[sees Rango]
Rock-Eye: You! I'll kill you! You stupid lizard! Get out of there! I'm gonna strangle your huevos!
Rango: [points frantically from inside his bottle] The bird! The bird!
[starts running away in his bottle by rolling it]
Rock-Eye: [Rock-Eye looks behind him] No wait, come back!
[starts chasing Rango]
Rock-Eye: Hey, I was just kidding! C'mon, we're friends, right?
Rango: Aaah, I don't know you!
Rock-Eye: Lizards, frogs... we're practically related, right?
Rango: [overlapping] Find your own hiding place! No room at the inn!
Rock-Eye: Come on! Move over! I'll let you kiss my sister!
Rango: [Rango runs the bottle over a small sharp rock and the bottle breaks in half] No no no nonono...!
[slides to a stop]
Rock-Eye: [stops with him; pointing in triumph] HA! Ha ha ha!
[the hawk snatches him up]
Rock-Eye: [shouts out] You son of a!
[hawk screech]

Merrimack: Now, Beans, I've always thought of you as a niece, and I've done my best to look after you ever since your daddy...
[Beans gives him a death glare]
Merrimack: ... did *not* fall drunk down a mine shaft...

Rango: [addressing the townspeople after the bank robbery] We all know exactly what we need to do now!
[aside]
Rango: And that would be?
Mayor: [whispers] Form a posse.
Rango: Form a possum!
[short pause]
Mayor: [still quiet] A *posse*.

Spoons: [after Rango forms a small posse to find the band of robbers] What do we do now?
Rango: Now, we ride!
[cut to them all riding across the desert on roadrunners, excited and energized]
Spoons: [to Rango] Where are we going?
[they have no leads on where the robbers might be]
Rango: What?
Spoons: Where are we going?!
[cut to them all walking back into town, embarrassed]

Wounded Bird: You kill bird?
Rango: Why, yes, I did.
Wounded Bird: Bird gone, snake come.
Rango: What do you mean?
Priscilla: Oh he's talking about Rattlesnake Jake, Mr. Rango. He usually doesn't come to town because of that hawk, but he might come now. Can I have your boots when you're dead?
Rango: I'm not scared. Heck, I think I'd like to meet this Rattlesnake Jake.
Priscilla: That's just what Amos said.
Rango: Who's Amos?
[Priscilla looks at something offscreen, Rango looks and sees a small graveyard with a headstone reading 'Amos, Sheriff Thur-Sat.']
Priscilla: Do you have any gold fillings?

Rattlesnake Jake: [realizing it's a swarm of bats in the form of a hawk] Ain't no hawk, ain't nothin' but bats!
[starts shooting at them]
Maybelle: Stick to the plan boys, bleed the devil dry!
[swarm spreads out, Jake laughs excitedly while trying to shoot every bat down, realizes he used up all his bullets, turns to see Rango pointing a gun at him]
Rango: It only takes one bullet.
Rattlesnake Jake: You ain't got the nerve.
Rango: Try me.

Rattlesnake Jake: [to the Mayor] What was that thing you said, "Pretty soon, no one will believe you even existed."

Beans: [comes out of trance by her wagon] And until the people of Andromeda 5 return him safe and sound, I will not sell my ranch! (-Rango)

Manny: Guys don't talk to guys about guy problems. They just... punch each other on the shoulder.
Ellie: That's stupid!
Manny: To a girl... To a guy that's like six months of therapy!

Crash: Dude, You're awesome! You're like the brother I never had!
Eddie: Me too!

Manny: After we rescue Sid, I'm going to kill him.

Manny: I feel so... puny.

Ellie: Talk to the trunk.

Sid: [running from a musk ox he tried to milk] I thought you were a female!

Buck: Are you ready for adventure?
Crash, Eddie: Yes, sir!
Buck: For danger?
Crash, Eddie: Yes, sir!
Buck: For death?
Eddie: Uhh, can you repeat the question?

Ellie: [a Tyrannosaurus has come forward] I thought those guys were extinct.
Manny: Well then, that is one *angry* fossil

Manny: [Sid guards the three baby Tyrannosaurs from an adult] Sid! Give them to her! She's their mother!
Sid: How do I know she's their mother?
Manny: What do you want, a birth certificate? She's a *dinosaur*!

Sid: [confronting a Tyrannosaurus who has come looking for her babies] Look, these are my kids! And you're gonna have to go through *me* to get them!

Sid: [about the baby mammoth] Oh it's a boy!
Diego: That's its tail
Sid: It's a girl!

Buck: [stopping Manny and the herd from moving on] Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa! Whoa! What, you-you think this is some sort of tropical getaway? You can't protect your mate, mate. What are you gonna do with those-those flimsy tusks when you run into the Beast?
Crash: Wait. You mean there's something *bigger* than Mommy Dinosaur?
Buck: Aye.
Eddie: "Eye"?
Buck: Aye aye. He's the one that gave me *this*
[pointing to his missing eye, which is covered in a patch]
Eddie: Whoa. He gave you that patch?
Crash: For free? That's so cool.
Eddie: Yeah, maybe he'll give *us* one, too!

Crash: Why is it called the "Gorge of Death"?
Buck: We tried calling it "The Big Smelly Crack" but people kept giggling.

Buck: Hello Rudy!

Sid: Well, I see someone else has a bun in the oven!
Pudgy Beaver Mom: I'm not pregnant!
[Hits Sid with stick]
Sid: Too bad. You'd make an excellent mother.

Eddie, Crash: [after inhaling the poison gas] Let's do it!
[singing]
Eddie, Crash: Christmas, Christmas, time is here!

Buck: [Buck sees a large butterfly as it takes off] I knew that guy when he was a caterpillar, you know, before he came out.

Diego: [to Manny, about possibly staying] This is my kind of place.
Buck: [Pick up a rock like it's a cellphone] Hello? No... No I can't really talk right now... Going to retrive a dead sloth. No, I know. They're following ME! Yeah, and they think I'M crazy! O-Okay... We're going into the Chasm of Death, I'm going to loose you. Yeah. O-Okay.
[quietly]
Buck: I... I love you too. Goodbye... Goodbye!
[throws the rock aside]
Buck: Let's get a move on, shall we?
Manny: [to Diego] That'll be YOU in three weeks.

Manny: Just WHEN exactly did you loose your mind?
Buck: About three months ago. I woke up married to a pineapple... An *UGLY* pineapple.
[sighs lovingly]
Buck: But I loved her so...

Buck: What are you guys doing here?
Ellie: Our friend was taken by a dinosaur.
Buck: Well, he's dead. Welcome to my world. Now, go home. Off you pop!

Crash: What's that noise?
Buck: It's the wind. It's speaking to us.
Eddie: What's it saying?
Buck: I don't know. I don't speak wind.

Buck: The name's Buck. Short for Buckminster. Long for Buh.

Manny: Oh, we need a code word. Yeah, something that says, "the baby's coming."
Ellie: Hmm. How about, "Aaah! The baby's coming!" How's that?
Manny: Nah, it's too long. We need something short and punchy, like, uh... "peaches"!
Ellie: Peaches?
Manny: I love peaches. They're sweet and round and fuzzy, just like you.
Ellie: You think I'm round?
Manny: Uh... Round is good. Round is foxy!

Ellie: [Manny and Diego are trapped by a meat-eating plant] That's it, I'm tearing that thing out through the root.
Buck: Do that, and it'll clamp shut forever.
Ellie: What?
Buck: Calm down, preggers. Don't get your trunk in a knot. I'll have them out of there before they're digested.
Manny: Digested?
Buck: They'll be nothing but bones in three minutes. Well, maybe five for the fat one.
Manny: I'm not fat!

Crash: Have you ever flown one of these before?
Buck: No. First time, actually.

Buck: It smells like a buzzard's butt fell off and was sprayed on by skunks.
Diego: That's Sid.

Diego: [to Manny] For the record, I blame you for this!

Manny: Don't move a muscle.
Molehog: [running] AAAAAAAH!

Diego: [trapped in man-eating plant with Manny] I feel... tingly.
Manny: Don't say that when you're next to me!
Diego: Not that kind of tingly!
Manny: I can feel it too!

Sid: Is this how you resolve conflicts? No wonder you're single.
[Mamma Rex roars]
Sid: oh, that's your answer to everything. I don't exactly call that communication. I say they're vegetarian, you say "grrr". I say can we talk about it, you say "grrr". That's not what I call communication.
Mother T-Rex: GRRRRRR!
Sid: See that's your answer to everything!

Buck: Rule no. 1: Always listen to Buck! Rule no. 2: stay in the middle of the trail; and rule no. 3:
[long pause]
Buck: he who has gas travels at the back of the pack

Manny: [Buck looking very spaced out by Crash and Eddie's lack of understanding his eye prospect turns to Manny who said in a slight sarcastic voice] Welcome to my world!

Sid: Fine, I understand. You have your family. I'll just go raise them alone... by myself. In my fortress of solitude. In the ice. A lone, lonely loner.
Manny: That's a lot of aloneness.
Sid: Precisely!

Manny: Don't ever yabba-dabba-do that again!

Crash: This place is totaled.
Eddie: And we didn't wreck it.
Crash: We're losing our touch, bro.

Buck: Mammals, we have ourselves a crime scene. Tuff of fur. Half-eaten carcass. Hunk of... aaugh! No! Broccoli!
[almost throws up]
Buck: Here's what I think happened: dinosaur attacks Sid, Sid fights back with broccoli, leaving dinosaur... a vegetable!
Diego: Are you nuts? Sid's not violent. Or coordinated.
Manny: Yeah, and where's the dinosaur?
Buck: All right, good point. Theory two: Sid is eating broccoli, dinosaur eats Sid, dinosaur steps on broccoli, leaving broccoli... a vegetable!

Buck: Now then, eyes forward, back straight... oh, and breathe in the toxic fumes and you'll probably die.
Ellie: Toxic fumes?
Buck: Just another day in paradise!

Buck: There's only one thing to do. Possums, come with me. Manny, you stay and take care of her.
Manny: You can't leave now! She's off the trail! What about rule number two?
Buck: Rule number 5 says you can ignore rule number 2 if there's a female involved, or possibly a cute dog. You know, I just make up these rules as I go along.

Diego: [laughing under the effects of the toxic fumes in the Chasm of Death] Thanks for getting me into this mess. It's the most fun I've had in years.
Manny: Thank *you* for deserting the herd. That was totally super!
[Both break out laughing]

Buck: [Using dinosaur skulls like they're talking using his own voice]
[skull one]
Buck: They'll never survive. It's dangerous out there by day.
[skull two]
Buck: And it's even worse at night.
[skull one]
Buck: Plus, they're guide is a lunatic.
[skull two]
Buck: You mean Buck? He's wacko.
[Buck]
Buck: I am not!
[brings up another skull on his foot]
Buck: And his feet smell.
[Buck]
Buck: Oh, shut up!
[skull on his foot]
Buck: You shut up.
[Buck grabs his foot with the skull on it]
Manny: He's strangling his own foot.
Ellie: Maybe we should keep going.
Buck: [skull three] What? And give Rudy a midnight snack? Not likely.
[Buck]
Buck: The skull's right. We can camp here for the night. Now, who's hungry?
[skull three]
Buck: I am!
[Buck]
Buck: You don't need the calories.

Eddie: So, Why do they call it the Chasm of Death?
Buck: Well, We tried big smelly crack but uh, that just made everybody giggle!
Manny: Well now what?
Buck: [Buck pulls on a cord and a large ribcage on a vine appears] Madam...?
[gestures for Ellie to get on]
Manny: Whoa! She is not doing that!
Buck: Bup bup bup bup! Rule number 1...?
Eddie: Ooh ooh ooh!
[raises his hand in the air]
Buck: Ah! Come on mammoth! You're supposed to have a good memory!
Ellie: Always listen to Buck!
[walks onto the rib cage]
Buck: Now eyes forward, Back straight and
[quietly]
Buck: breath in the toxic fumes and you'll probably die.
Ellie: TOXIC FUMES?
Buck: Just another day in paradise!
[cuts the vine to release the rib cage]
Manny: Wait!
Buck: GERONIMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Manny: [moment of silence and then sees the empty ribcage move towards them] Ellie? You okay?
Ellie: [calling from the other side] You have to try this!
Buck: Alright! Now Pile on everyone! Couldn't be easier!
Buck: [the cage is stranded in the middle of the fumes] Don't panic! Just some uh technical Difficulties! Keep holding it in boys!
Eddie: [Stops holding his breath] I cant take it anymore!
Crash: He breathed it!
[gasps]
Crash: now I'm breathing it!
[crash & eddie make choking noises]
Eddie: [in a squeaky voice] Hey! We're not dead!
Crash: [in a squeaky voice] You sound ridiculous!
Eddie: [in a squeaky voice] Me? You should hear you!
[Both laugh hard]
Eddie: [in a squeaky voice] Alright Alright. and a one, and a two...
Crash, Eddie: [in a squeaky voice, singing] Christmas, Christmas time is here...

Manny: [looking at Eddie & Crash singing] Are you crazy?
Diego: [lets go of his breath, in a squeaky voice] Its not poison!
[surprised by his voice, he laughs hysterically with Eddie & Crash]
Crash: [in a squeaky voice] That is sooo Disturbing!
Buck: [from the other side] Stop laughing! All of you!
Crash: [in a squeaky voice, mimicking Bucks accent] Stop laughing all of you!
[All laugh hysterically]
Manny: [in a squeaky voice, mimicking Bucks accent] What's rule number 1?
[All laugh hysterically]
Ellie: They are just laughing, what's so bad about that?
Buck: They died laughing!
[points down the chasm at laughing skeletons of dinosaurs]
Ellie: [gasps] Stop laughing!
Manny: [in a squeaky voice] You know whats funny though? We are trying to save Sid, and now we are all gonna die!
[all laugh hysterically]
Eddie: [in a squeaky voice] And i don't even like Sid!
Crash: [in a squeaky voice] Who does? He's an idiot!
[All laugh hysterically]
Diego: [in a squeaky voice] Thanks for getting me into this mess! Its the most fun i've had in years!
Manny: [in a squeaky voice] Thank YOU, for deserting the herd, that was totally SUPER!
[moment of silence and then they all laugh hysterically]
Manny: [All notice Buck above the cage trying to release it free and holding his breath, Manny begins to tickle him with his trunk] Coo chee Coo chee Coo!
Buck: [In a normal voice] Stop that!
[gasps]
Buck: Don't you see?
[in a squeaky voice]
Buck: We are all gonna die!
[All look at him and begin laughing hysterically including Buck]
Ellie: [on the other side] I gotta do everything huh?
[Ellie releases the rope and sets the cage loose]
Eddie: [in a squeaky voice] Sometimes, i wet my bed!
Crash: [in a squeaky voice] Thats alright, sometimes I wet your bed!
[All Laugh hysterically]
Manny: [the cage reaches the other side and everyone apart from Buck tumbles out breathing for air while laughing. In a normal voice] Uhhh, I'm not sure how much of that you could hear...?
Manny: Oh i heard all of it
Eddie: [to crash] You wet my bed?
Crash: That was just gas talk dude.

Manny: Well uh, We better get moving!
Diego: Aren't We forgetting something?
Buck: [Buck is sliding down the vine through the toxic fumes, in a squeaky voice] Here Rudy, Rudy, Rudy! HaHaHaHa! Oh, I'm so lonely! (-Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs)

Julien: [pops out from a cake] Hey, freaks! You will be glad to learn that I am coming with you!
Alex: Oh ho ho, no, thank you.
Julien: Oh, *yes, thank you. It's *my* plane!

Julien: [as the plane dives] Raise your arms, Maurice! It's more fun when you raise your arms up like this, ah ha ha ha!

Alex: Marty, it looks like this is it! I just want you to know, you're a one in a million friend!
Marty: Thanks, Alex! You are a true friend!
Alex: And I'm sure you won't mind when I tell you...
Marty: What? Tell me what?
Alex: I broke your iPod!
Marty: What?
Alex: The buttons were so small! It made me mad!
Marty: The horror!
Alex: It was an accident!
Marty: I'm gonna kill you!

Melman: Listen Mototo. You better treat this lady like a queen because you my friend, you found yourself the perfect women. If I was ever so lucky to find the perfect women I would give her flowers everyday and not just any flowers, okay? Her favorites are orchids, white, and breakfast in bed... six loaves of wheat toast with butter on both sides, no crust. The way she likes it. I'd be her shoulder to cry on and her best friend and I'd spend everyday trying to think of how to make her laugh. She has the most, most amazing laugh. Well that's what I would do if were you.

Alex: I wanna prove to my dad that I'm a *real* lion.
Marty: As opposed, to a *chocolate* lion!

Melman: No, no that's not it. Listen Mototo, you'd better treat this lady like a queen. Because you, you my friend... have found the perfect woman. If I was ever so lucky to find the perfect woman, I would give her flowers every day. And not just any flowers, okay? Her favorites are orchids. White. And I would bring her breakfast every day. Six loaves of wheat bread with butter on both sides. No crusts. Just the way she likes it. I'd be her shoulder to cry on and her best friend. And I'd spend every day thinking of ways to make her laugh. She has the most... amazing laugh. That's what I would do, if I were you. But I'm not. So you do it.
Moto Moto: Uhhh... What? Aaaanyways, where were we?
Gloria: [sigh] I'm huge?

Private: In case of a loss of oxygen, please place your masks over your faces to hide your terrified expressions from the other passengers.

Gloria: [to Moto Moto] Who's your friend? Or is that your butt?

Julien: [after Melman has announced he has only 48 hours to live] If I, King Julien, that's my name, had only two days to live, I would do all the things I always wanted to do.
Melman: Like what?
Julien: I'd become a professional whistler. I'm pretty fantastic right now, but I would do it professionally.
[Tries to whistle, but all that comes out is a long raspberry]
Julien: Another thing I would do is invade a neighboring country, and force my own ideology on them, even if they didn't want it.

Gloria: What is this place?
Melman: San Diego. This time, I'm 40% sure.

Skipper: [Looking at the blueprints for the plane] Very impressive, Kowalski. But will it fly?
Kowalski: Yes, if you fold it here, here, and here.
[Folds plans into paper plane and throws it]
Skipper: Nice.

Gloria: Any water?
Moto Moto: No, just more diamonds and gold.

Julien: Whatever happened to the separation of the classes?
Maurice: I'm sure this whole democracy thing is just a fad.

Julien: [Mort wants to go on the plane] Stop him! He's carrying scissors and hand cream!

Nana: I know you!
Alex: You!
Nana: It's the bad kitty!

Alex: I like to move it, move it!
Gloria: He likes to move it, move it!
Marty: She likes to move it, move it!
Melman: We like to...?
Lemurs: Move it!

Skipper: That has to be the second biggest slingshot I've ever seen, but I guess it'll have to do.

Marty: That is definitely not crackalackin'.
Alex: It is lackin' in the crackin', my friend.

Skipper: Gently now, you just wanna kiss the ground, just a little peck, a smooch like you're kissing your sister.
[Plane violently lands and the tires break off]
Skipper: I said kiss it!

Melman: What, you don't have doctors here?
Stephen: Well not any more.
Melman: What if you catch a cold or something.
Additional Giraffe: We go over to the dying holes, and we die.

Skipper: Pray to your personal god this hunk of junk flies.

Skipper: Operation tourist trap is a go.
Private: Oh, I like that one, that's a good one.
Kowalski: It works on many levels, sir.
Skipper: You guys are a bunch of suck-ups.
Kowalski: That too, sir.
Private: Oh, absolutely, sir.

Nana: I'm not gonna stay out in the open and get attacked by more animals. I'm too old to die.

Kowalski: Only two passengers unaccounted for, Skipper.
Skipper: That's a number I can live with! Good landing, boys! Who says a penguin can't fly?

Skipper: [to Alex] You! Pretty boy! Why don't you and your friends dig a latrine, maybe find water.
Alex: Hold on, hold on a second. Who made you... king of the plane wreck?
Skipper: 'Scuse me?
[Rico pulls out and deploys a switchblade]

Gloria: Julian, stop this! This is crazy!
Julien: Oh, suddenly throwing a giraffe into a volcano to make water, is crazy!

Julien: [the animal herds are running towards the fiery volcano, planning on sacrificing Melman to the gods in hopes of creating water] Hurry up, before we come to our senses!

Mason: The plane will not be finished until the suits meet our demands. Now, about maternity leave.
Skipper: Maternity leave?
[looks under table]
Skipper: You're all male!

Alex: Hey! Happy Slappers! Is there any reason to celebrate? Look at the plane!
Skipper: We'll fix it.
Alex: Fix it? How you gonna fix this?
Skipper: Grit, spit
[Private spits]
Skipper: and a whole lotta duct tape.
[Rico pulls out a roll of duct tape]
Skipper: We should be up and running in say...
[Kowalski shows him an abacus]
Skipper: six to nine months.
Alex: Sixty-nine months?
Skipper: No, six *to* nine months.

Melman: [as the plane is going down] I love you, Gloria! I always have!
[Gloria is fast asleep; Alex and Marty stare at Melman]
Melman: Like you love the beach, or a good book, or the beach...

Julien: This is first class. Nothing personal. It's just that we're better than you.

Alex: She's got a gun! Let's get out while we can! Pass it on!
[monkeys chinese whisper it up the chain]
Mason: He said, 'Let's have some fun and take out the dam. Basset hound'.

Alex: Tell them no! Pull up! They'll kill us! There's gotta be another way! Pass it on!
[monkeys chinese whisper it up the chain]
Mason: They say, 'No pull up. Kill us. There's no other way. Basset hound'.
Marty: Are ya sure?

Moto Moto: Well, I promise the answer will always be 'yes,' unless 'no' is required.

Julien: [referring to the fiery volcano] I'd jump in myself, if I weren't so good at whistling.
[proceeds to whistle terribly]

Makunga: Look at it this way. After I defeat you and take your place as alpha lion, you'll have that much more time to spend with your pathetic excuse of a son.
Zuba: Before I kick your butt again, tell me why you want to be alpha lion?
Makunga: I'm better looking, I have better hair, I'm deceitfully smart, and I want everyone to do what I say.

Julien: I don't know why the sacrifice didn't work. The science was so solid.

Makunga: Who could possibly take Zuba's place? Someone? Anyone? No one?
[a lion stands up]
Makunga: You, sir!
[Swings scepter towards lion, "accidentally" knocking him out]
Makunga: I guess, awkward as it is, I could carry this tremendous burden.

Zuba: Good luck, Alakay.
Alex: Were we come from, we say "break a leg".
Zuba: That's my boy!

Skipper: I'd like to kiss you, monkey man.
Mason: All right, but you're so darn ugly.
[Kisses Skipper]

Julien: New York! It's a bit of a dump. Are you sure we're not in New Jersey?

Alex: [Dancing as he speaks] How! Me and my friends fly... fly, on great metal bird... then we plummet...
[whistles]
Alex: Boom! Crash here. We offer only happiness and good greetings.
Hippo Girlfriend: Is he dancing about a plane crash?
Alex: Yeah, we are. Sorry.

Zuba: Love transcends all boundaries. We are here to celebrate such a love. Do you two take each other for better or worse?
Skipper: For better, please.

[Bulb on the fuel guage is flashing]
Kowalski: Skipper, look.
Skipper: Analysis
Kowalski: It looks like a small incandescent bulb, designed to indicate something out of the ordinary, like a malfunction.
Skipper: I find it pretty and somewhat hypnotic.
Kowalski: That too, sir.
Skipper: Right. Rico, maunal!
[Catches the manual and smashes the bulb with it]
Skipper: Problemo solved.
Kowalski: Sir, we may be out of fuel.
Skipper: What makes you think that?
Kowalski: We've lost engine one, and engine two is no longer on fire.
Skipper: Buckle up, boys. Don't look, doll, this might get hairy.
[on the microphone]
Skipper: This is your captain speaking. I have good news and bad news. The good news is that we will be landing immediately.
[everyone claps]
Skipper: The bad news is, we're crash landing.
[Plane goes on a dive]
Skipper: When it comes to air travel, we know that you have no choice whatsoever, but thanks again for choosing Air Penguin.

Skipper: We'll divide into three groups. Group Alpha, you're in charge of sheet metal fabrication. Group Bronson, you'll handle assembley. Group George Peppard, you'll handle craft services. Any questions?

Skipper: Higher mammal! We shall require use of your opposibles!
[Phil curses in sign language]
Mason: Phil! I ought to wash your hands out with soap.

Kowalski: We've lost engine one... and engine two is no longer on fire

Mason: The plane won't be fixed until the suits meet our demands. Now, about maternity leave.
Skipper: Maternity leave?
[glances under the table]
Skipper: You're all male...
Marty: Look, we need that plane for a rescue mission.
Skipper: Well, there's nothing I can do until we bust up this union.
Gloria: I'm gonna get to bustin' up all you if you don't get this plane going!
Skipper: Can't you see these commies have my hands tied, here? NO maternity leave!
Mason: [nudges Phil, who pulls out incriminating photos of Skipper and "Doll" in compromising positions] Maybe a certain someone wouldn't want *these* blowing around the savanna?
Skipper: [reluctantly] All right, you get your maternity leave.

Private: In case we go down, place the lifejacket over your head, pull the sting, and kiss your kids good-bye.

Kowalski: Skipper, look.
Skipper: Analysis.
Kowalski: It looks like a small, incandescent bulb, designed to indicate something out of the ordinary, like a malfunction.
Skipper: I find it pretty and somewhat hypnotic.
Kowalski: That too, sir.
Skipper: Right, Rico! Manual!
[Rico tosses manual. Skipper looks at it and smashes bulb]
Skipper: Problem-o solved.
Kowalski: Sir, we may be out of fuel.
Skipper: What makes you think that?
Kowalski: We've lost engine one,
[engine sputters out]
Kowalski: and engine two is no longer on fire.
[engine smokes and stalls out]
Skipper: Buckle up, boys. Don't look, doll. This might get hairy.
[Over intercom]
Skipper: Attention, passengers. I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is we'll be landing immediately. The bad news is, we're crash-landing.
[Plane startes on a nose-dive, everyone screams]
Skipper: When it comes to air travel, we know you have no choice whatsoever, but thanks again for choosing Air Penguin.

Julien: Ha,ha,ha! I like laughing! It's such a nice experience!
Melman: [Melman pokes his head in] Whoa.
Julien: Excuse me, this is first class. It's nothing personal, it's just that we're better than you.

Skipper: [to Rico on landing the plane] Gently now. You just wanna kiss the ground. Just a peck, a smooch, like you're kissing your sister! (-Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa)

Gru: [defeated by Vector] Oh, come on!

Dr. Nefario: We have to warn him, and FAST!
[starts driving on his moped very slowly]

Gru: We stole the Statue of Liberty...!
[the minions cheer]
Gru: ...the small one, from Las Vegas!
[the cheers stop]
Gru: I won't even mention the Eiffel Tower... also Vegas.

Gru: Clearly we need to set a few rules. Rule number one: You will not touch anything.
Margo: Aha. What about the floor?
Gru: Yes, you may touch the floor
Margo: What about the air?
Gru: Yes, you may touch the air.
Edith: What about this?
[Holds a ray gun on her hands, the laser sight aimed right at Gru]
Gru: Ah! Where did you get that?
Edith: Found it.
[Gru takes it away from her]
Gru: Rule number two: You will not bother me while I'm working. Rule number three: You will not cry, or whine, or laugh, or giggle, or sneeze or barf or fart! So no, no, no annoying sounds. All right?
Agnes: Does this count as annoying?
[puckles her cheeks]
Gru: [Stops her] Very!

Gru: We have located a shrink ray in a secret facility. And once we procure it, we will have the capability to pull off the TRUE crime of the century! We are going to steal...
[the minions pull out weapons]
Gru: Wait, I haven't told you what it is yet.
[a rocket launcher fires and hits one of the minions]
Gru: Hey, Dave! What have I told you?
[the hit minion walks over to Dave and punches him]
Gru: [Gets on platform as it rises up to the roof] Next, we are going to steal... pause for effect...
[Platform stops so that Gru is silhouetted against the moon]
Gru: ... the MOON!
[Minions cheer]
Gru: And once I have the moon, the world will give me whatever I want to get it back, and I will be the greatest villain in the world! That's what I'm talking about!

[Gru is showing Mr. Perkins his plans, using pictures on an easel]
Gru: I fly to the moon, I shrink the moon, I grab the moon, I sit on the toilet bowl... what?
[sees a child's drawing in his plans, of himself sitting on a toilet bowl]

Gru: [to the girls] Did you brush your teeth?
[Takes a whiff]
Gru: You did *not*!

Edith: It was your cousin's idea!
Dave the Minion: *What*?

Gru: Do you speak Spanish?
Miss Hattie: Do I look like someone who speaks Spanish?
Gru: It's just that your face is so... Como un burro.
Miss Hattie: Oh! Why, thank you!

Gru: Hello, Fred. FYI. Your dog has been leaving little bombs in my yard, and I do not appreciate it.
Fred McDade: Oh you know dogs... they go where they want to go.
Gru: Unless they're dead.
[laughs]
Gru: Just kidding! Oh, though it is true.

Gru: [Explaining why the girls can't find their book "Three Little Kittens"] That book was accidentally destroyed maliciously...

Gru: You got to be pulling on my leg!

Edith: Can I drink this?
Dr. Nefario: Do you want to explode?

[repeated line]
Gru: Light bulb!

Vector: [after shrinking toilet] Look at you, a little tiny toilet, for little tiny people to...
[toilet breaks, spraying water on Vector]
Vector: Ah! Curse you, tiny toilet!

Miss Hattie: I received a call that you want to return the girls. Also, I bought a Spanish dictionary.
[Hits Gru with dictionary]
Miss Hattie: I didn't like what you said.

Edith: Are these beds made from bombs?
Gru: Yes, but they are very old and are not likely to explode. But don't toss and turn.
Edith: Cool!

Gru: This is literature? A two year old could have written this!

Agnes: I like him. He's nice.
Edith: He's scary.
Agnes: Like Santa.

Margo: Hello? Is anyone in?
Gru: Go away, I'm not home!
Margo: Yes you are. I just heard you.
Gru: No, you didn't. This... This is a recording.
Margo: No it isn't.
Gru: Yes it is. Listen. Please leave a message after the tone. Beep!
[Edith kicks door, Gru screams in pain]
Agnes: Goodbye, recorded message.

Gru: I hate that guy.

Edith: When we got adopted by a bald guy, I thought this'd be more like Annie.

Edith: Somebody broke that.

Gru: Uh, question. What are these?
Dr. Nefario: A dozen boogie robots. Boogie! Look at this! Watch me.
Gru: Cookie robots! I said cookie robots! Ah, why... why are you so... old?

Agnes: Pinkie promise?
Gru: Oh yes, my pinkie promises.

Agnes: Just one more! I accidentally closed my eyes.

Agnes: Will you read us a bedtime story?
Gru: No.
Agnes: Pretty please?
Gru: The physical appearance of the please makes no difference.

Edith: Yes! Mine's shaped like a dead guy!

Gru: [reading book] "Three little kittens love to play. They had fun in the sun all day. Then their mother came out and said, 'Time for kittens to go to bed'."
[looks up]
Gru: Wow, this is garbage. You actually like this?

Margo: You gave us back.
Gru: I know, I know, and it is the worst mistake I ever made.

Edith: Hey, that one looks like me.
Gru: What are you talking about? These are kittens! Any relation to persons living or dead is completely coincidental.

Gru: [reading the book he wrote] One big unicorn, strong and free, thought he was happy as he could be. Then three little kittens came around and turned his whole life upside down. They made him laugh, they made him cry. He never should have said goodbye. And now he knows he can never part from those three little kittens that changed his heart.

Gru: Bedtime now.
[girls groan in disappointment, followed by the minions]
Gru: Not you two.
[minions cheer]

Agnes: [re the stuffed unicorn] It's so fluffy, I'm gonna *die*!

Agnes: Cool, lets go destroy some other rides!

Dr. Nefario: [a minion drinks from a bottle, starts floating] We've been working on this for a while now. Anti-gravity serum.
[the minion floats out an open skylight]
Dr. Nefario: I meant to close that.
Gru: Do the effects wear off?
Dr. Nefario: [Looking up at some minions floating on the roof] So far, no, they don't.

Gru: Whoa, whoa, whoa! What was that? She hit that. I saw that with my own eyes.
Carnival Barker: Well, you see that little spaceship there? You see how it's not knocked over? You know what that means, Professor? It means you don't get the unicorn! Aw, somebody's got a frowny face! Better luck next time.
Gru: Okay, my turn.
[Gru takes out a plasma gun and fires it, destroying the stand and disintegrating the spaceship]
Gru: Knocked over!

Agnes: Why are you wearing your pajamas?
Vector: They're not pajamas! It's my warm-up suit.
Agnes: Why do you need warming up for?
Vector: For doing stuff.
Margo: What kind of stuff?
Vector: Super-cool stuff you wouldn't understand.
Agnes: Like sleeping?

Gru: Kyle, these are guests, not snacks! Girls, this is Kyle. He's my... dog.
Agnes: Ooh, fluffy puppy!
[Runs toward Kyle, who whines and runs away]
Margo: What kind of dog is that?
Agnes: He's a... I don't know.

Gru: [Sees Edith near his Iron Maiden] Hey, get away from there! It's a trap!
[the Iron Maiden closes with Edith inside; a red liquid leaks from underneath]
Gru: I guess the plan can work with two.
Edith: [Inside] Hey! Let me out of here!
[Gru opens Iron Maiden; Edith is unharmed, but her juice box is punctured]
Edith: I broke my juice box.

Gru: [after giving Vector the moon] Now the girls.
Vector: Actually, I'm holding on to them a little longer.
Gru: No!
Vector: Oh yeah! Unpredictable!

Vector: He punched my shark!

Vector: [stranded on the moon] Oh, poop!

Gru: Assemble the minions!

Margo: Oh, Can we get stuffed crust?
Edith, Agnes, Jerry the Minion, Stuart the Minion: OOOOHHHH, Stuffed Crust.
Gru: I will stuff you all in the crust!
[Agnes giggles]
Agnes: You're funny!
Gru: Just don't come out of that room again! (-Despicable Me)

Po: My fist hungers for justice!
[his stomach belches]
Po: That was... my fist.

[from trailer]
Po: Kung-fu staring contest! GO!
[stares at the viewer for 16 seconds]
Po: You guys look amazing, by the way...

Shifu: This could be the end of Kung Fu.
Po: But I just got Kung Fu !
Shifu: And now, you must *save* it !

Po: [stares up a long passage] Ah. My old enemy... stairs!

Po: The only thing that matters is what you choose to be now.

Shen: The only reason you are still alive is that I find your stupidity mildly amusing.
Po: Well thank you, but I find your evilness extremely annoying!
Shen: Who do you think you are, Panda?
Po: Who do you think I am, Peacock?
[both laugh for an extended time, each taking turns]
Po: Why are we laughing?

Soothsayer: Your story may not have such a happy beginning, but that doesn't make you who you are. it is the rest of your story, who you choose to be... So, who are you, Panda?

Shen: How did you find peace? I took away your parents, everything, I scarred you for life...
Po: See that's the thing, Shen, scars heal.
Shen: No they don't... *wounds* heal.
Po: Oh, yeah... what do scars do? They fade, I guess...
Shen: I don't care what scars do...!
Po: You should, Shen. You got to let go of the stuff from past - because it just doesn't matter! The only thing that matters is what you choose to be now.

Shen: How many times do I have to kill the same stinking panda?

Tigress: I hope this turns out better than your plan to cook rice in your stomach by eating it raw and then drinking boiling water...
Po: This is nothing like that plan.
Tigress: How so?
Po: Because this one is gonna work.

Po: Shen knows what happened to my parents!
[pause]
Po: Look, I'm going. I've gotta know. The hardcore can't understand.
Tigress: [pauses, then lunges at Po]
Viper: Tigress, no!
Tigress: [instead she hugs Po] The hardcore *do* understand...
[She pulls away]
Tigress: But I can't watch my friend be killed.

Shen: My parents hated me. Do you understand? They wronged me. And... I will make it right!
Soothsayer: They loved you! They loved you so much that having to send you away killed them!
[Shen stands still in silence for some time]
Shen: The dead exist in the past. And I must tend to the future.

Crane: So this is stealth mode?
Po: I mean, let's face it, not one of my stronger modes.

Po: How can kung fu stop something that stops kung fu?

Monkey: [On seeing a poor person being mistreated by a wolf over cooking rice] Po, do something.
Po: How am I suppose to help her cook rice without getting caught?... Wait, I have a better idea!

Po: Shen! A panda stands between you and your-
[cut to Shen, who can barely hear Po say "destiny"]
Shen: WHAT?
[cut back to Po]
Po: Prepare yourself for a hot-
[cut again to Shen, who can still barely hear anything]
Shen: What?

Soothsayer: Stop fighting. Let it flow.

Shen: Call in the wolves. All of them! I want them ready to move. The year of the peacock begins now!
Wolf Boss: Right now? Cause it's the middle of the year... so you'd only get like a half of the year of the peacock.

Shen: Then I will kill him and make you wrong.

Shen: Are you willing to die to find the truth?
Po: You bet I am!... Although, I'd prefer not to.

Po: I threw up on the third flight of stairs, so you might want to clean that up. You guys got an evil janitor around here or something?

Tigress: The hard core do understand, but I can't stand to see my friend be killed. Let's go.
Crane: Does that mean you can't stand to see me killed?
Tigress: Stop being a wimp.

Po: Okay, Step One: Free the Five.
Viper: What's Step Two?
Po: Honestly, I didn't think I was gonna make it this far!

Monkey: At the first sign of trouble, I'll give you a signal. Ka-Ka! Kee-Kee!
Po: You mean like Crane does?
Monkey: Yeah.
Crane: Excuse me? When have I ever make that noise?

Po: [determined] I am Po... and I'm gonna need a hat.

Tigress: [Watches Po beat up the ship's mast] The mast is not a worthy opponent
[flips through the air and lands beside Po with her hand extended toward him]
Tigress: I am ready.

Po: You! You're mine!
Wolf Boss: I'll tell you what's gonna be yours. My fist in your plush cuddly, super soft face!
[suddenly Monkey and Crane jump on the two wolf soldiers]
Wolf Boss: Uh-oh!
[he runs away]
Po: Get him!

Wolf Boss: [as they're fighting] Is that all you got? Cause it feels like I'm fighting a big old floppy cloud!
Po: Well this cloud is about to bring the thunder!

Wolf Boss: [to Po as they are surrounded by wolf soldiers] Guess nobody told you, you mess with the wolf, you get the fangs!
Wolf Boss: [he hits Po in the stomach] I've hit you twice. What are you gonna do now?
Po: [he looks undefeated at Wolf Boss but then suddenly shouts] We surrender! (-Kung Fu Panda 2)

[from trailer]
North: We go by many names, and take many forms. We bring wonder and hope, we bring joy and dreams. We are the Sandman and the Tooth Fairy, we are the Easter Bunny, and Santa. And our powers are greater than you ever imagine...

North: It is our job to protect the children of the world. For as long as they believe in us, we will guard them with our lives...

[from trailer]
Pitch: That dream is over! It is time for fear to rule the world!

[from trailer]
North: We have never faced a greater threat. And so, we will fight.

Bunnymund: You don't want to race a rabbit, mate...

North: Everyone, to the sleigh! Buckle up!
Bunnymund: Where are the bloody seat belts?
North: [laughs] That was just expression!

[from trailer]
Pitch: My army is ready...

North: Everyone loves the sleigh...

[from trailer]
Jack Frost: So, the Big Four all together: Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, the Sandman and the Easter Kangaroo.
Bunnymund: Say WHAT? I'm a bunny!

Jack Frost: Am I on the Naughty List?
North: Naughty List, you hold record.

North: Sandy? Sandy?
[slaps the dozing Sandman awake]

[as he falls down a rabbit hole]
North: Shostakovich! (-Rise of the Guardians