07Matt - FanFiction.Net

07Matt

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since	: 02-27-07, id: 1229211, Profile Updated: 06-23-09
country	: United States

Author has written 58 stories for SpongeBob SquarePants, Happy Tree Friends, Drake & Josh, Avatar: Last Airbender, Courage: The Cowardly Dog, Land Before Time, and Dexter's Laboratory.

Check out my FictionPress account at: fictionpress.com/07matt

Check out my DeviantArt account at: caveatcartoonist.deviantart.com

I never claimed that I "know how to write". I write for many reasons. Usually because if I don't let my creative juices out somehow, someway I'll just explode. I have a serious urge–no, obesession–to get my ideas out of my freakin' head. And sometimes writing is the only way to do it. Sometimes I write just for fun, or because I really need to let some type of powerful emotion out and sometimes you only have time to write it down. Or it could be as simple as coming up with a funny idea that you can only interpret through writing.

I'm definately not a good writer, and I don't full plan to be. Sure I like to write, but as a career path, I'm more interested in drawing and animation. I may love to write ideas down, but it wouldn't be my favorite choice of a career–as for now.

Writing is serious hard work when you have a straight up passion for it. And I don't. So I'm not too serious about my writing. Sure I'd like to develop a few writing skills, but as for now I'm not interested in getting too serious with writing. I just don't have a passion for it...anymore and as of now, at least.

I did go through a "literary stage" a few months where I was really interested in writing and I even attempted to write a novel and I did a lot of research on how to become a much better writer. It quickly faded away and it just wasn't fun anymore to get totally serious about it. I'm way more interested in being a cartoonist, anyway.

Random blabberings that you probably don't give a rat's ass about aside, here's my literary work. Again, I never claimed I'm a "good writer". I only write because I have to let it all out somehow and most of the time writing is a good starting point...or the only way. I only want your opinion if it's a nice one, or at least constructive critisism. However, I'm fully capable of critiquing my own work. That's the best way to become a good artist after all. You can't improve if you don't point out your own flaws.

Wow, I can't imagine anyone caring enough to actually read all that. If you just read my entire profile, you deserve a god damn medal.

If you actually give a crap, read my stuff. Have fun.

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1. Cold Turkey reviews
It's Thanksgiving night and everyone's eating dinner at Pop's house. Dig in! It's flesh from the oven!
Happy Tree Friends - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,993 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 11-26-08 - Complete

2. The Halloween Hunter reviews
Things go bump in the night at a Happy Tree Party on Halloween when there's a killer on the loose...
Happy Tree Friends - Rated: T - English - Horror/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 973 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 11-21-08 - Complete

3. Tough Love reviews
Flippy and Petunia are married, but something doesn't seem right about this relationship...
Happy Tree Friends - Rated: T - English - Drama/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 603 - Reviews: 11 - Published: 11-12-08 - Complete

4. Is There a Doner in the House? reviews
Lumpy will steal your heart in this Halloween story that I wrote this for my English class LOL!
Happy Tree Friends - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 939 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 10-8-08 - Complete

5. Carrot and Stick reviews
Really short story. Completely random. Not much else to say here. lol
Happy Tree Friends - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 124 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 9-7-08 - Complete

6. Love Is Blind reviews
A Happy Tree Friends Poem
Happy Tree Friends - Rated: K - English - Romance/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 162 - Reviews: 11 - Published: 8-31-08 - Complete

7. Mr Krabs: The Untold Story » reviews
Ever wonder why Mr. Krabs doesn't have a wife or why his daughter is a whale? Well, SpongeBob finds out when he discovers Mr. Krabs crying in his office, leaving Mr. Krabs forced to tell the story of a past he wishes he could forget...
SpongeBob SquarePants - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 8,242 - Reviews: 16 - Updated: 8-27-08 - Published: 2-28-08

8. Giggles 911 reviews
Cub is out of control so Pop calls the Nanny.
Happy Tree Friends - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,085 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 7-25-08 - Complete

9. SpongeBob SexPants 20: Patricia Has a Penis! reviews
Possibly the last SpongeBob SexPants story. Patrick dresses like a girl to avoid being raped, but Mr. Krabs and Squidward find Patrick quite sexy as girl in this parody of "That's No Lady"!
SpongeBob SquarePants - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,915 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 6-25-08 - Complete

10. HTF Fanfics Episode 23: Taken to the Woodshed reviews
Starring Lifty & Shifty and Sniffles. Lifty and Shifty steal Sniffle's rocket while Sniffles is asleep. Final episode of the 2nd season. I'm still not sure if I will make a 3rd season. I might not have enough time to write anymore, but I'll try.
Happy Tree Friends - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,565 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 11-6-07 - Complete

11. HTF Fanfic Series Episode 22: Shot in the Dark reviews
Starring Flaky and Lumpy. Flaky gets trapped in the darkness in this Halloweenthemed episode.
Happy Tree Friends - Rated: T - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,630 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 10-29-07 - Complete

12. HTF Fanfic Series Episode 21: Wrong in the Tooth reviews
Starring Toothy. Toothy has a loose tooth and when Sniffles helps him take it out things get out of control.
Happy Tree Friends - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,570 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 10-22-07

13. HTF Fanfics Episode 20: Stitch in Time Saves Mime reviews
Starring Mime. Mime gets a job at a fast food restaurant. But can he handle the lunch rush?
Happy Tree Friends - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,440 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 10-15-07 - Complete

14. SpongeBob SexPants Episode 19: Sandy's Dildo reviews
Parody of Sandy's Rocket. SpongeBob and Patrick fly off in Sandy's rocket and think that everyone in Bikini Bottom is an alien.
SpongeBob SquarePants - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,200 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 10-15-07 - Complete

15. HTF Fanfic Series Episode 19: Daylight Robbery reviews
Starring: Lifty & Shifty. The two kleptomaniac brothers go on a robbing rampage, but things start getting out of control as usual.
Happy Tree Friends - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,458 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 10-7-07 - Complete

16. SpongeBob SexPants Episode 18: Silent Sex reviews
SpongeBob knocks off Sandy's bra when playing karate and then he tries to rape her. Because of this Sandy refuses to talk to him.
SpongeBob SquarePants - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,326 - Reviews: 13 - Published: 10-7-07 - Complete

17. SpongeBob SexPants 17: To Love a Crappy Patty reviews
Parody of the episode 'To Love a Krabby Patty'. SpongeBob falls in love with a crappy patty and he wants to marry it.
SpongeBob SquarePants - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,678 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 9-30-07 - Complete

18. HTF Fanfics Episode 18: Barking up the Wrong Tree reviews
Starring Lumpy. Lumpy takes the kids on a field trip but he crashes the bus. So they decide to stay at an abandoned summer camp. But they don't know that a wild animal is the reason why it was abandoned...
Happy Tree Friends - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,759 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 9-30-07 - Complete

19. HTF Fanfics Episode 17: Food for Thought reviews
Starring Lumpy, The Mole and Disco Bear. Disco Bear is injured and Lumpy the doctor tries to find packets of blood for him, but he mixes up packets of blood with packets of ketchup!
Happy Tree Friends - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,733 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 9-23-07 - Complete

20. SpongeBob SexPants Episode 16: Hooker Unknown reviews
Squidward tries to teach SpongeBob how to have sex and how to draw sensual pictures, but Squidward is the one who is stinks at art and SpongeBob is the one who's good drawing sensual pictures. Parody of the episode Artist Unknown.
SpongeBob SquarePants - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,964 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 9-16-07 - Complete

21. HTF Fanfic Series Episode 16: Shifting Hands reviews
Starring Handy and Nutty. Handy tries to find a place where he can work at the contruction site without hands. Meanwhile, Nutty tries to get a candy bar at the contruction site.
Happy Tree Friends - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,835 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 9-16-07 - Complete

22. Moonlit Love » reviews
Aang is 18 and Katara is 20. They start having secret relations with each other, but the only time they have together is at night when they are sure that they can have their privacy.
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,669 - Reviews: 21 - Updated: 9-9-07 - Published: 8-10-07 - Aang & Katara - Complete

23. SpongeBob SexPants Episode 15: Fear of Sex reviews
Parody of the episode Fear of a Krabby Patty. SpongeBob is overworked at the Krusty Crap and he becomes afraid of crappy patties and sex.
SpongeBob SquarePants - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,643 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 9-9-07 - Complete

24. HTF Fanfic Series Episode 15: Flesh From the Oven reviews
Starring Splendid. Should Splendid finish baking his cake or should he save the town from an erupting volcano?
Happy Tree Friends - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,685 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 9-9-07 - Complete

25. Zero Hour reviews
Dexter builds a time machine but DeeDee steals it and she completely ruins Dexter's past, present and future.
Dexter's Laboratory - Rated: K - English - Humor/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 1 - Words: 630 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 9-9-07 - Complete

26. Little Foot the Homicidal Maniac » reviews
Little Foot is in love with Cera and tries to seduce her. But Cera doesn't want to date him. Little Foot get so mad that he can't be with her that he becomes a crazy maniac and he plans to kill everyone. LEMON warning, not for little kiddies.
Land Before Time - Rated: M - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 10 - Words: 2,509 - Reviews: 30 - Updated: 9-8-07 - Published: 8-30-07 - Complete

27. Courage the Die Hard Dog: Episode 3 reviews
Courage finds a mummy's tomb buried outside and it brings a curse to the house.
Courage: The Cowardly Dog - Rated: M - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 529 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 9-8-07 - Complete

28. SpongeBob SexPants Episode 14 reviews
Parody of SpongeBob Meets the Strangler. The Tattle Tale F---er wants to rape SpongeBob because he tattled on him, so he goes in disguise and pretends to be a body guard.
SpongeBob SquarePants - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,004 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 9-2-07 - Complete

29. HTF Fanfic Series Episode 14: Socket to Me reviews
Starring Lumpy. Lumpy puts up an electric fence to stop Lifty and Shifty from stealing his stuff. But everyone except Lifty and Shifty are victims of the electric fence.
Happy Tree Friends - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,367 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 9-2-07 - Complete

30. Courage the Die Hard Dog: Episode 2 reviews
This episode is a parody of the movie: The Shining. Muriel, Eustace and Courage are watching over someone's house, and Eustace goes crazy.
Courage: The Cowardly Dog - Rated: T - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 653 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 9-2-07 - Complete

31. HTF Fanfics Episode 13: Water Under the Bridge reviews
Starring Giggles, Russell and Lumpy. Giggles, who is very environmental, gets mad at Russell and Lumpy for fishing.
Happy Tree Friends - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,849 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 8-26-07 - Complete

32. SpongeBob SexPants Episode 13: Scew a my Bivalve reviews
Parody of the episode Rock a by Bilalve. SpongeBob gives birth to a clam and SpongeBob and Patrick get married so they can take care of it.
SpongeBob SquarePants - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,522 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 8-26-07 - Complete

33. Courage the Die Hard Dog: Episode 1 reviews
Courage finds Muriel and Eustace dead in their bedroom. What happens when he tries to find out who killed them?
Courage: The Cowardly Dog - Rated: T - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 291 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 8-25-07 - Complete

34. Closing in Darkness » reviews
What happens when Megan goes too far? What if lives have to be lost just for Megan's own amusement. And what can Josh do to end it all? It's now complete!
Drake & Josh - Rated: M - English - Horror/Tragedy - Chapters: 7 - Words: 9,893 - Reviews: 20 - Updated: 8-24-07 - Published: 6-27-07 - Complete

35. SpongeBob SexPants No 12: Raping of the Retards reviews
This is a parody of the episode Survival of the Idiots. SpongeBob and Patrick are trapped in Sandy's treedome while she is hibernating, and Sandy keeps raping them in her sleep.
SpongeBob SquarePants - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,424 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 8-19-07 - Complete

36. HTF Fanfic Series Episode 12: Hole Mess of Trouble reviews
Starring Handy. Lumpy falls down an abandoned mine shaft and Handy brings a bunch of friends to go down there and get Lumpy out.
Happy Tree Friends - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,375 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 8-19-07 - Complete

37. HTF Fanfic Series Episode 11: Insult to Injury reviews
Starring Sniffles. Sniffles and Flaky's toys get lost on Lumpy's lawn, and old man Lumpy takes any toy that lands on his lawn. Now Sniffles must try to get the toys back. Will his new invention work, or just cause more gory madness?
Happy Tree Friends - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,419 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 8-13-07 - Complete

38. SpongeBob SexPants Episode 11: Something's Gay reviews
Parody of the episode: Something Smells. SpongeBob gets a giant erection and everyone who sees it kills themselves from the embarrassment, but Patrick tells SpongeBob that it's because he's gay. Rated M for sexual content, foul language and adult themes.
SpongeBob SquarePants - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,077 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 8-13-07 - Complete

39. HTF Fanfic Series Episode 10: Tough Love reviews
Starring Disco Bear and Lumpy. Lumpy helps Disco Bear gain Giggles' love.
Happy Tree Friends - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,458 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 6-19-07 - Complete

40. HTF Fanfic Series Episode 9: Dad From the Neck Up reviews
Starring Pop & Cub. Pop just wants to enjoy a nice, relaxing Father's Day with his son, but apparently that can't happen. So why not celebrate Father's Day with Pop & Cub in their newest misadventure?
Happy Tree Friends - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,023 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 6-17-07 - Complete

41. HTF Fanfic Series Episode 8: Diamond in the Ruff reviews
Starring Flaky, Lifty & Shifty and Cuddles. Flaky and Cuddles come across the cursed idol and Lifty and Shifty want to steal it. And the curse just keeps spreading all over town, causing chaos wherever the idol lands.
Happy Tree Friends - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,564 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 6-16-07 - Complete

42. HTF Fanfics Episode 7: Starting With a Clean Slate reviews
Starring Petunia. Petunia the neat freak germaphobe is covered in filth and she can't take a shower because she's locked out of her house. And she just keeps getting dirtier.
Happy Tree Friends - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,462 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 6-14-07 - Complete

43. HTF Fanfics Episode 6: Short End of the Stick reviews
Starring Sniffles and Lumpy. Sniffles creates a shrinking ray and it ends up in the wrong hands. Now everyone has been shrunken to a very small size and life is more dangerous when your tiny, especially when Lumpy's around.
Happy Tree Friends - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,921 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 6-14-07 - Complete

44. HTF Fanfic Series Episode 5: Sea for Yourself reviews
Starring Russell and Lumpy. Russell and Lumpy are in yet another adventure at sea, and this time Russell wants to catch a giant sea monster.
Happy Tree Friends - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,123 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 6-12-07 - Complete

45. HTF Fanfics Episode 4: The Way the Cookie Crumbles reviews
Starring Nutty and Flippy. The kids are having a huge school project, and Nutty finds out that's there's going to be lots of sugary treats, but what happens when innocent Flippy decides to look at the kid's projects?
Happy Tree Friends - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,545 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 5-12-07 - Complete

46. HTF Fanfics Episode 3: Accident Waiting to Happen reviews
Starring Mime and The Mole. Mole gets his driver's license revoked, and he tries to retake his driving test, but Mime is the driving instructor!
Happy Tree Friends - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,650 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 4-29-07 - Complete

47. HTF Fanfics Episode 2: Flame and Fortune reviews
Starring Pop & Cub and Splendid. Pop's house catches on fire and it's up to Splendid to save the day. Disclaimer: I do not own Happy Tree Friends or any Happy Tree Friends characters.
Happy Tree Friends - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,730 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 4-25-07 - Complete

48. HTF Fanfics Episode 1: Another Wet Lie reviews
Episode 1 of the HTF Fanfic series. Starring Lumpy and Lifty & Shifty. Lumpy just opened up his new water park and Lifty & Shifty try to steal the fun away. I do not own HTF.
Happy Tree Friends - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,516 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 4-17-07 - Complete

49. SpongeBob SexPants Episode 10: Once Upon a Sponge » reviews
[LEMON warning]Sandy creates a time machine and everyone keeps dying. Completed! Rated M for foul language, violence blood and gore, sexual content, and very brief drug and alcohol use.
SpongeBob SquarePants - Rated: M - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 7 - Words: 15,320 - Reviews: 12 - Updated: 4-11-07 - Published: 3-16-07 - Complete

50. SpongeBob SexPants Episode 9: Crystal Death reviews
[LEMON warning]Mr. Krabs decides to start a meth lab and sell the crystal meth to customers. Rated M for drug use, sexual content, foul language, and blood and gore.
SpongeBob SquarePants - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,344 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 3-14-07 - Complete

51. SpongeBob SexPants Episode 8: Love Hurts reviews
LEMON warning Mama Krabs falls in love with Mermaid Man, and all they want to do is have fun in the bed, but they keep getting interrupted when Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy have to rescue someone. Rated M for sexual content, violence, and foul language.
SpongeBob SquarePants - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,498 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 3-14-07 - Complete

52. SpongeBob SexPants Episode 7: Life's a Beach reviews
LEMON warning SpongeBob and Patrick challenge Larry to a challenge. Whoever can get laid the most wins. Rated M for language, sexual content, blood and gore and violence.
SpongeBob SquarePants - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,115 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 3-13-07 - Complete

53. SpongeBob SexPants Episode 6: Must Kill Krabs reviews
[LEMON warning]Plankton tries his latest plan, he's going to try to kill Mr. Krabs to get the Krabby Patty formula. Rated M for blood and gore, violence, foul language, some sexual content, and some brief drug use.
SpongeBob SquarePants - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,776 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 3-11-07 - Complete

54. SpongeBob SexPants Episode 5: Sex at the Treedome reviews
[LEMON warning]SpongeBob tells the story of the first time he met Sandy. This is a parody of the episode Tree at the Treedome. Contains sexual content, foul language, blood and gore, and brief drug and alcohol use.
SpongeBob SquarePants - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,753 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 3-7-07 - Complete

55. SpongeBob SexPants Episode 4: The Grim Raper reviews
[LEMON warning]A man threatens to fuck SpongeBob's ass. Parody of SB episode The Bully. Rated M for sexual content, blood and gore, drug and alchohol use, and foul language. Funnier if you actually watched the SB episode.
SpongeBob SquarePants - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,295 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 3-5-07 - Complete

56. SpongeBob SexPants Episode 3: Just One Time reviews
LEMON warning This is a parody of the episode Just One Bite. Squidward becomes obsessed with masturbation.
SpongeBob SquarePants - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,565 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 3-3-07 - Complete

57. SpongeBob SexPants 2: Karate Choppers Parody reviews
LEMON warning This is a parody of the episode Karate Choppers. SpongeBob and Sandy become obsessed with sex. Rated M for foul language, sexual content, and some drugs and alcohol use with a little blood and gore.
SpongeBob SquarePants - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,941 - Reviews: 9 - Published: 3-2-07 - Complete

58. SpongeBob SexPants Episode 1: BlowJob Stand reviews
[LEMON warning]This is a parody of the episode Bubblestand. This story is funnier if you've actually seen the episode. Rated M for foul language, sexual content and some blood and gore.
SpongeBob SquarePants - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 997 - Reviews: 18 - Published: 3-2-07 - Complete