My real name is Ben, but everyone online just knows me as Hylian Lemon. I was born in Columbia, Missouri, and I've lived here all my life. One day in 2003, we were having a garage sale, and two teenage girls came. One of them had just moved in down the street, and her family needed a phone book. Later in the day, we learned she had five brothers. One was around my age, and had the same name as me. Back then, I was one of those retard idiots who hides behind his mom, chases people at church, and laughs at commercials for the Oracle games. But somehow, we started somewhat liking each other and hanging out. They had a Nintendo 64 and a Game Boy Color. Before then, I hadn't thought much of video games, especially Zelda. Anyway, they had Oracle of Ages. I started playing it and got hooked. Feel the irony! Soon afterward, I bought it from them, along with the GBC. After a while, they thought about buying a PS2, but their dad wouldn't let them unless they bought it themselves. I had myself a N64. Although I hated Ocarina of Time at the time, I bought the N64 and all the Mario games they had. After seeing online that many considered OOT the best game ever, I decided to try it out again, and loved it. Ever since then, I've been collecting the Zelda games, and chatting about them online. After a while I got interested in writing fanfics, but I'd best start afresh now...hold on.

My first story was called...wait for it..."The Boy Who Almost got Lost and Almost Died." Yes. If you can control your laughter, please, don't. It could build up inside you until you explode into a thousand thousand pieces. The story was based off Santiago, a character from the "Cluefinders" educational computer games. Sad, yes. I'll pause to wait until your hysterical laughter subsides.

I started the story off by "ploping" (Yes, PLOPING) him in the middle of the desert with no purpose whatsoever. I then explained that he was looking for a huge, shiny ruby. Wow, great story there. I don't know if he even had any parents or not. Anyhow, some guy from one of the games called Limberger (not sure how it's spelled, but it's supposed to be like that stinky cheese) was trying to get it as well. Some odd things happened inside the giant pyramid and eventually I decided to create a whole series! I planned out oodles of stories without actually thinking about the storyline, just wanting to get in as many different locations as I could. The jungle, maybe? Ooh! I know, the arctic! What about the caribbean? And so, in the middle of the jungle story, I stopped abruptly and started writing about something else. What was it? Wait for it..."Indiana Jones and his Son." Remember now, it's unhealthy to hold in laughter. After a couple of stories based on Indy and his 11-year-old son Jesse (based off my best friend at the time), I got interested in Zelda (see first paragraph). So I started writing Zelda fanfics. I've written three not displayed here - so that I might keep my pride - called The Light Rod, The Secret Oracle (the threequel to the Oracle games) and The Rip in Dimensions.

My old writing teacher back in 99 said I was very talented...well, she lied. Of course, she was comparing me to other kids my age. But that was no excuse to give me false hope like that. Anyway, with the help of many people, like in writing classes, Nintendo Writer's Paradise (which is sadly gone now), and Zelda Universe forums, I've become much better at writing. Mostly I like a mix of fantasy, mystery, and action/adventure, but I'm up for some good humor too. Go check out my favorite authors/stories, because they pwn. If you like Navi Gate, check out Forest Lemon; it's a joint account between my best friend and me. If you like more serious original fiction, try my fictionpress account here:

http://www.fictionpress.com/~hylianlemon

Thanks for reading. You've got a lot more ahead of you (see below) if you value your life.