In English:

Ok, the name's Victoria. I’m 19 and currently in first year of University. As you can probably infer from my name, I’m female. I live in Argentina and ‘live la vida loca’, as some would say. Trust me on this one, life in this country is ‘loca’ whether you want it or not!

I despise all kinds of drugs since I believe the human body must be kept pure, but still drink coffee because it keeps me awake. At the same time, I love exercise because it perfects the body, but rarely do it because I get tired and sweaty really soon. All in all, a body freak in theory, but a hypocrite in practise.

On the other hand, I love literature because I believe it is the way of becoming immortal, and I do indeed practise my immortality. I also worship maths and history because maths lay out the world’s perfection and sharpen your mind and history helps you understand the world’s imperfections and sharpen your perceptions.

I generally like anime and manga, so listing my favourites would be a waste of pixels. Anyway, I can tell you my current obsessions are Naruto, Full Metal Alchemist, Avatar: the Last Airbender (even though it’s not technically anime as it is Yankee, but oh, the plot...! Oh, the animation...!) and Great Teacher Onizuka.

So, you may wonder, what the heck am I doing watching cartoons at my age? Well, I’ll be glad to discuss with anyone the virtues of anime and manga, and cartoons in general in comparison to sitcoms and those never-ending Yankee series or Latin-American soap operas people seem to love. Just e-mail me!

I'm also a fan of talking to people from all over the world and trading culture. That’s one of the reasons I learnt English and French. Since I’m studying the Short Century, I deeply appreciate input on the Cold War and general history, specially the Second World War, which is one of my obsessions.

What do I dislike? Whiners, quitters and cowards. I myself take my problems in stride and enjoy them as I would enjoy a good novel. I like perfect things, and work towards perfection, be it making or fixing things, and my problems must always end perfectly, so I strive to make them as good as possible.

My fics must also be perfect, so I'll most likely get tired of revising one and forget about it than post it, so bear with me, ok? I'm currently on several projects:

1) My pet, "The Lima Syndrome".

2) Translating stuff. You'll love me after this, believe it!

3) A parody of Mary-Sues. Summary so far goes: And of course she was Voldemort's half-squib daughter. The plan: seduce Harry Potter and kill him in his sleep to gain Daddy's approval. The flaw in the plan:... well. She'd been sitting under the Sorting hat for hours. "But I don't know where to put her!" said the Hat. "She's not Brave, she's not Loyal, she's not Clever and she's certainly not Cunning!" "Yeah," said Harry, practically shouting it, "AND she's butt ugly".

4) Harry Potter/Naruto crossover where, for once, ninjas are sent to kill Voldemort's obstacle instead of protecting him.

En castellano:

Hello!

Soy argentina, paqui (creo, porque no hice NADA todavía...), tengo 19 años, me gusta el manga y el animé, y me desvivo por el yaoi.

Me hubiera gustado ser varón para poder ser gay... o sea que ¡¿soy gay pero me gustan los hombres?! No sé si quiero saber cómo pasó eso...

Estoy estudiando para ser ingeniera química. Ah, en la facu tengo un amigo gay (si, el tipo también está estudiando para ser ingeniero... no pregunten) que me aclara todas las dudas sobre sexo gay que tengo sin siquiera pestañear (aunque a veces me mira medio raro) y me cuenta de sus aventuras, así que yaoi no me falta.

Me contó un montón de cosas. ¿Sabían que en castellano "seme" y "uke" se dicen "activo" y "pasivo" respectivamente? Y al que le gustan las dos posiciones se le dice "versátil". Tuve la desfachatez de preguntarle a mi amigo qué sabor de gay es: mixto (léase: versátil).

Creo en el NaruSasu. Porque Naruto es más entero emocionalmente que Sasuke. Porque Sasuke huye de lo que siente, y luchará hasta el final de los tiempos para que nadie más se de cuenta. Y porque OliviousSeme!Naru y PushyUke!Sasuke son una combinación explosiva.

Creo también en la literatura, y en que la literatura es tanto prosa como diálogo. Ergo, odio con el fuego de mil infiernos a los fics que son puro diálogo inutil. Vamos chicas, esta escribiendo un cuento ¿¿o una conversación de MSN Messenger??

Creo en los personajes bien caracterizados y consistentes. Naruto puede ser todo lo OOC del mundo mientras el personaje que resulte siga pareciendo una persona real que bien podrías cruzarte en la calle.

Creo en el inglés. Y por eso la mayoría de mis fics están en ese idioma primero y luego son traducidos al Castellano. Pero también creo en el castellano, así que si leen fics en este idioma pásense por mi cuenta de Amor-Yaoi: Amor Yaoi : Calamus

Creo en la perversión. Y sí, seré virgen de cuerpo (muy a mi pesar) pero ciertamente mi mente es muuuuuy 'ligera'. Le encuentro doble sentido a todo lo que me rodea. ¿Y sabían que acá en Argentina los chicos se saludan con un beso en el cachete? Uh, eso es muy malo para mi salud mental... Pero igual me encanta.

Y eso. Nada, lean mis fics y dejen una crítica, please.

Chau!

Translation Guide /Guía a mis traducciones:

Justify / Justificar by Serria

After all, only the righteous have what it takes to take justice... and justify it. The ballad of Light and L from start to finish.

Solo los justos tienen lo que se necesita para tomar justicia... y justificarla. El tango de L y Light, bailado de principio a fin.

Juvenile Calamity / Calamidad Juvenil by Serria

When Watari sends 14 year old L to Japan to practice his Japanese language comprehension, L never anticipated that he would somehow be stuck babysitting two devil children: Light and Sayu Yagami.

Cuando Watari manda a un L de 14 años a Japón para que pracique el idioma, L nunca anticipó que, de alguna manera, terminaría haciendoles de babysitter a dos demonios: Light and Sayu Yagami.

Itachi's Teddy Bear / El osito de Itachi por RukiaU

Itachi has a teddy bear. It used to belong to Sasuke, but Itachi slaughtered his clan in order to steal it. Sometimes, in the intimacy of their bedroom, Itachi and the teddy bear do things. Things that aren't related to sleep at all.

Itachi tiene un osito. Antes era de Sasuke, pero Itachi mató a todo su clan para conseguirlo. Lo que Itachi y el osito hagan en la intimidad de su cuarto es algo que sólo concierne a Itachi. Y al osito.

Deidara's Teddy Bear / El osito de Deidara por RukiaU

Deidara knew he was playing with fire when he entered Itachi's bedroom behind his back and liberated his teddy bear.

Deidara sabía que estaba jugando con fuego cuando entró a hurtadillas en la habitación de Itachi y se apoderó de su osito.

Quotes / Citas:

"Yes, destruction had to happen to be able to construct. A passion for destruction is also a creative passion"

--The Hidden Target, by Hellen MacInnes.

"Humanity, in its desire for comfort, had over-reached itself. It had exploited the riches of nature too far. Quietly and complacently, it was sinking into decadence, and progress had come to mean the progress of the Machine"

--The Machine Stops, by E. M. Forster.

"Is a reason necessary? I wouldn't know the motive you have for killing a person, but as far as helping a person goes, why should there be any logic about it?"
-- Shinichi Kudo from the manga "Detective Conan", after a serial killer asks why he saved his life.

"We used to keep our wishes in glass jars to save them for later. We stored them on the shelf in your office. Your cat knocked mine over and it splintered into eleven shards. I cleaned it up and replaced it with an empty identical one and I never told you."

--Glass Jars, by Miss-Deathwish

"Y ahí se había quedado Sasuke durante la última hora: encerrado en el baño interior del dormitorio que compartían. La primera media hora gritando toda clase de improperios y la siguiente toda clase de amenazas."

-- Del fic "Naruto Neko", por Oo-Naruko-oO

"Ser conocido como 'El osito de Itachi' es suficiente. Es un nombre que infunde respeto entre los otros peluches."

-- Del fic "El Osito de Itachi", por RukiaU

"Los smarties se parecen a los humanos porque pese a que son todos de distintos colores y tonalidades, al final todos terminan siendo iguales: blancos y rellenos de chocolate."
-- Del fic "La Teoría de los Smarties", por Kumori-sama

A peek into my Favourite Websites list / Un vistazo a mis sitios favoritos:

realityLAPSE -- All kinds of manga and anime, subbed and scantlated (respectively) into English, ready for direct download.

Minotaur's Sex Tips for Slash Writers -- Slasher's Guide to Gay Sex. Awesome site with info and tips on gay sex by an actual gay guy. It even has pictures!

Urban Dictionary -- Slang dictionary for everyday words. If it has ever been said, then it's defined here.

My OTP is canon! -- Yeah, apparently, SasuNaru is canon. Kishimoto-sama said so, so nya~! This made my year!

NarutoYaoi -- Awesome collection of Naruto (and others!) yaoi doujinshi ready for direct download. / Sitio con doujinshi de Naruto (¡y otros!) en descarga directa. Idiomas incluyen: inglés, español, japonés, etc.

y!Gallery : Yaoi Gallery -- Yaoi in any way, shape or form. Has one of the best search engines and one of the best collection, and what's more: no NC-17 ban! / Yaoi puro y duro. En todos los idiomas, con todos los fetiches.

Amor Yaoi -- Sitio de fanfics Yaoi en español.

Contact / Contacto:

So yeah, enough about me, what about you? Write me! As I said before, I like getting to know people, who they are, how they live, what their problems are and how they solve them. I have no social life to speak of, so if you have time, would you be my pen-pal? I will answer every e-mail, it's a policy of mine. And if you prefer chatting, then add me to MSN (warn me first to my email, though).

Bueno, basta de mí. ¿Qué hay sobre vos? En serio, ¡escribime! Me gusta conocer gente, quienes son, como viven, cuales son sus problemas y como los solucionan. No tengo vida social, así que ¡escribime o chateá conmigo, por favor! Contestaré todos los mails que reciba. Y lo tuyo es chatear, agregame al MSN (previo avisoa mi mail, claro está).

E-mail: nocena.calamus@gmail.com

MSN: calamus@live.com.ar