Hey.

SPECIAL NOTE: I know that I promised my readers a series of one-shots about Harry's life, but it doesn't look like that is going to happen. I am really damn lazy. And it is due to that laziness that I am probably done writing. It's hard, and I don't like it. However, I welcome anyone else to help themselves to an omake, or two. PM me if you do, though. I'd like to read it.

While I'm reading fics, I like to put myself into Harry's position. So, I really don't care about any story that the main character isn't Harry. Also, for that reason, I don't like slash fics. I neither know nor care if this makes me homophobic.

My favorite pairings are Harry/Luna, Harry/Tonks, Harry/Hermione, and Harry/Slytherin!chick.

Nonjon is funny.

I'm told that I am hard to get along with (I even got fired from What-a-Burger because my co-workers didn't like me), so if you got a problem, I'm not interested (constuctive critism is fine, but no flamers). To reiterate: I am an ass. If my story offends you, I don't care. It's comedy. It's supposed to be offensive.

THE INTERNET IS FOR LULZ. It is not, in fact, serious business. I do not appreciate drama in the fanfiction that I read, and I don't appreciate it on the forums that I visit. If you know that you are the cause of some internets drama, then know that I hate you.

I like Dark!Harry. I don't care if he is for the light side, joins Voldemort, or just kills everyone. Dark fics are fun to read.

Notice to all "Draco is a Veela/Vampire/CouchPotato and Harry is his mate writers. You are not original. There are already thousands of fics like this. We don't need anymore. Thank you."

Take the test at: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/dante-inferno-test.mv

Interesting observation: I am writing my story. Not you. My story is my story. You may think that I am not writing it correctly, but since it is my story, you are wrong. I don't take requests. Things will happen the way that I want them to, and they will happen that way because I think that your way is stupid and mine is good. Thank you.