Last Updated 4-28-08

Special Notice: Hi, everyone! :) No, I haven't forgotten about all of you, or gotten hit by a bus...it's just that I'm in grad school right now, which makes getting the time to write--or even brainstorm ideas to write--very, very difficult. :( Seriously, if any of you ever go to grad school, warn your friends about the severe lack of social life they're going to be facing in the near future. Anyway, I appreciate those of you who have taken the time to review/fav/alert my stories and me, and I promise I'm going to try to step it up in the next few weeks and update my two current active stories. Thanks! (hugs)

Age: 21. Yes, I know, I'm an old lady. (I'm Tsengie's grandma. =9 Or so says my sister.)

Occupation: Turk-in-training, just as soon as I can get Mordor University to admit that aiming to become a member of the Investigative Division of the General Affairs Department of a huge electric company is, in fact, a suitable college major.

Location: For all essential purposes, in front of some computer somewhere.

Favorite stuff: The color green...Captain Jack Sparrow...Final Fantasies VII, VIII, X, X-2 and XII...chocolate...Vincent Valentine...hiking...Legolas...scented candles...sky pirates in general and Balthier in particular...several movies, animés, and video games I'm too lazy to make a list of at the moment...Sephiroth...bonfires...football games...Abel Nightroad...hmm. Free back scratches, flavored crackers, and reviews by the dozens. I think that's all.

Other details: Well, you already know I'm a student at Mordor U. I have two ears and was not born with a tail, which you can take for what it's worth. ;) I think that covers the basics. I'll add more stuffs as necessary--if there's something you really want to know that's not listed here, message me and ask.

Current Projects: After much thinking, I've made the decision to go ahead with another FFVII multi-chapter humor fic (My Furry Nemesis) while still working on Volte-face. I wanted to write a fic for the other characters, not just the Turks. Chapter 3 of said fic has been posted, and Chapter 4 will be posted in a matter of days, as soon as my dear readers tell me which character they want to see featured in the next chapter.
I'm working on Chapter 11 of Volte-face right now, but it's sort of on unofficial hiatus until I can think up some more funny stuff. If you have any ideas you want to see, please let me know. Also, still kicking around the idea of a FFXII parody--the ideas just seem to keep piling up--but I want to finish Volte-face before I get started on anything for FFXII. I don't think I have the discipline to regularly update 3 fics at once. =D

Latest News: Spending far too much time in both work and school. Luckily, the light at the end of the tunnel is due to show up in August, and I might get some more stuff written in then. Don't let my busy schedule stop you from sending me a PM, though, if there's something you want to talk about (not likely =D). I will make time to answer your pressing questions about my mundane existence and mediocre attempts at humor.

Quotable Quotes: Some of the amazingly dumb things my friends and I say should be shared with the world. Updated pretty much every time I update my profile, because we're stupid pretty often.
3 new quotes as of 7-12-07. I thank my lab partners, my friends, and too many fireworks for these.

"They're not pants. I mean, technically they're pants, but they're not pants like other pants are pants."--me, talking about the 'unusual' trousers of Sha Gojyo from the animé Saiyuki

"Why try the rest when you can have the best?" --some guy hitting on my friend Jennifer. This little gem has officially made it to the semifinals for worst freakin' pickup line ever. Come on, you know it's really lame. ; )

"It's not like I'm asking for a bomb threat or anything. I just want something to happen. The most exciting thing that happened was when we thought the school was on fire. It was dust burning in the heater."--my sister, describing how boring her school is

"Since she's been here, we've done a lot of stuff. We've done stuff with other people, and we've done stuff with ourselves."--my friend Ashley, describing how a teacher got the high school band more involved in activities. (If this doesn't seem funny to you, think about it in a dirty-minded context. See why I posted it now?) Everyone laughed at her and she didn't even realize why, bless her heart. :)

"I was buzzing. I had to do something. You can't just ignore things like that."--me. For the record, I was explaining why I stopped in mid-sentence to pull my mobile (which was on silent) out of my pocket. :P

"I didn't trip over the stool! I..um...I tripped over mySELF and hit the stool on the way down. Yeah, that's it!"--my friend Kelly, who as you see, did not want to be seen as the type of person who stools could trip up.

Erin: "My butt is wet."
Lissa: "My butt is...actually, I don't know if it's cold or wet or both, but there's definitely something wrong with it."
Erin: "Well, my butt is definitely wet. I checked."--myself and my friend Erin, discussing the state of our posteriors. So, yeah. We're both stupid.

"Yes, it's a BARITONE! I'm CARRYING it!"--my friend Ashley, talking about an instrument she was having repaired...she yelled this in the middle of the mall. It was great. xD

"We don't fight, or anything. We just have a mutual understanding that I hate him."--my friend Kelly talking about a professor of hers.

Lissa's Prof: "So that's where babies come from?"
Lissa's Prof's Brother: "Yeah. Hey, are you okay over there? Did I completely gross you out, or something?"
Lissa's Prof: "No, it's just...well, there are six of us kids."
Lissa's Prof's Brother: "Yeah, so?"
Lissa's Prof: "That means Mom and Dad did this 'sex' thing SIX TIMES!"--one of my profs, and her older brother, talking about how she responded when he first gave her 'the talk'. Hilarious.

"You know you feel safe riding with me, because there's a big truck in the church parking lot!"--me again. I'm notorious for changing topics in mid-sentence like this...this one just came out particularly stupid. My sister, who I was talking to at the time, didn't stop laughing for several minutes.

"He's creepy, and he's weird, and he keeps staring at me, and he smells like sweat and grape soda!"--my sister again. More or less self-explanatory...some weird guy kept following her. :D

Erin: "So what, exactly, did you do with the stuffed animals?"
Lissa: "Well, it was nothing sexual, I can tell you that much."--me and Erin again. I swear, this made sense in the context of the conversation...and no, I haven't ever done anything sexual with a stuffed animal. :P

"I just compared Cloud to a bottle of ketchup. I didn't know that was possible."--yes, that was me again...once more, this really did make sense at the time.

"I just got a new Bowflex machine! I had to file bankruptcy to settle the debt I owed after buying it, and I lost my house, but it doesn't matter, because I'm the sexiest hobo on the block!"--my sister making fun of the Bowflex commercial.

"Oh, no wait, he's married! I couldn't do him."--my friend Ashley, talking about which actor she would like to have a makeout scene with in a movie. She meant, of course, that she couldn't hook up with the actor in real life, but it sounded like "I couldn't have sex with him"...we laughed for a good five minues over this.

"So there he was, handing me flowers for the first and only time, hoping to tap into the age-old 'I can bribe you with pretty things because you have ovaries' ruse."--my friend Fuschia, describing a poorly-thought-out apology attempt by an ex of hers. I love this line. xD

Lissa: "Apparently, Jenova wants to destroy cotton along with the rest of the world."
Erin: "Cotton is evil?!"
Lissa: "No, cotton is good and soft and comfy. That's why Jenova hates it!"--once more, me and Erin...somehow, in the midst of a discussion about the SHM's outfits, this brief interlude about cotton showed up. Go figure.

"I thought you were all upset over being stuck in the bathroom for ten minutes, but you're all worked up and happy because you're sitting on the potty!"--me, talking to my cat, who got trapped in the bathroom by accident. He used the opportunity to climb onto the toilet seat and was purring when I found him.

"This isn't bacon! This is like what they scrape off the grill after they get done frying the bacon!"--a friend of my sister's lamenting the puniness of McDonald's bacon. :D

"No, no! Stupid pants! Stay away from my feet!"--my sister trying to protect her toenail polish. Actually, I think this lame threat managed to do the trick... O_o

"He's not eating my foot. Just my pants leg. It's okay."--me talking about my cat, who managed to get high off corn silk. Thankfully, he hasn't figured out how to put a hole in said pants...yet...

"It wasn't us, sir! It was the fireworks! They scream like children!"--either myself or one of my friends, I can't remember who. Those screamy-noises fireworks make can really catch you off guard, ya know?

"Oh, my bad...not a firework, just a bat. Just a bat, people!"--this little gem is all mine. Cut me some slack, it was a big bat:P

"Huh. Looks like we got a little cat hair on the end of this thingie."--lab partner talking about a recent experiment. For the record, he was really talking about some fibers from a filter paper. We do not experiment on cats. ;)

Attention, all FF7 and W.I.T.C.H. fans! I highly recommend you have a look-see at my little sister's fics. She's a pretty good writer. ;) You can check out her stuff at http://www.fanfiction.net/~stargazinggirl .

Last but not least, if you review my stories, I'll love you forever! D