"Look at the stars.
Look how they shine for you,
and all the things that you do . . ."
~ Coldplay, Yellow

Welcome, my dear readers, to my humble abode!

(Does anyone ever actually read this stuff?)

Name: Ember

Nicknames: Deh Cactus, Cactus, Coraline, Ember . . . and a few others I really don’t want people to use against me!

Age: A lady never tells . . .

Loves: Writing, reading, singing, dancing, splurging, traveling, Japan, smiling, laughing, making Mexican food, cooking, watching old movies, boy hunting, people watching, swimming, watching Jacques Pepin and Julia Child cook, public television, speaking Japanese and Spanish . . .

Favorites:

Music

- Green Day (I saw them in concert! It was one of the best nights of my life!)

- Queen (I saw them in concert “+ Paul Rodgers”. That was one of the best nights of my life, too!)

- The Hives

- Owl City

- The Beatles

- Michael Bublé

- Movie soundtracks

- Frank Sinatra

- Anything Motown

- Oldies

- Piano music

- Pretty much everything except for pop-country and rap.

Movies:

- Anything with Paul Newman!

- Ocean’s 11

- Ocean’s 13

- V for Vendetta

- The Covenant (I’m a sucker for that Steven Strait fella . . .)

- Sky High

- My Family And Other Animals

- Red Eye

- Take the Lead

- Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (the original, thank you very much)

- Help!

- A Hard Day’s Night

- Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie

- Star Trek (“I’m kind of a Trekkie now . . .”)

- Several others that would take ages to list . . .

Books:

- The Art Thief by Noah Charney

- Deception Point by Dan Brown

- The Outsiders by SE Hinton

- A Northern Light by Jennifer Donnelly

- To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee

- A Tree Grows In Brooklyn by Betty Smith

- The Bourne series by Robert Ludlum

- The Harry Potter series by JK Rowling

- The Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer

- The Georgia Nicholson series by Louise Rennison (Oh, how I love those books!)

- Most of the classics

- And many others that are too numerous to list . . .

Actors:

- Paul Newman (There are not enough words in the world to describe my love for him. He was a wonderful actor and amazing person . . . Not to mention he made me swoon like a school-girl every time I saw him. Heck, he still does.)

- Robert Redford

- Yuji Oda

- Takizawa Hideaki (Tackey, I love you!)

- Brad Pitt

- Matt Damon

- Mark Harmon

- Steven Strait

- Chace Crawford

- And many other magnificent men . . .

Actresses:

- Alicia Witt

- Olivia Thirlby

- Ellen Page

- Drew Barrymore

- Gwyneth Paltrow

- Zooey Deschanel

- Emily Deschanel

- And more lovable ladies . . .

TV Shows: (I love them so much, I made them all bold!)

- NCIS

- Chuck

- The Mentalist

- The Office

- Mystery Science Theater 3000

- The Late, Late Show With Craig Ferguson (He makes me so very happy!)

Favorite Sayings:

(Note: Some of these have been borrowed off random profiles. If you recognize one of yours in here, give yourself a pat on the back!)

A nuclear war can ruin your whole day.

In theory, everything works.

Do unto others before they do unto to you.

Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

I am not a humanitarian. I am a hell-raiser.

Everyone is entitled to my opinion.

Heck is the place for people who don't believe in Gosh.

Earth is the insane asylum for the Universe.

I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.

Procrastinate NOW!

A newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

If you can keep your head while other people are losing theirs, you probably don't fully understand the situation.

They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?

Sarcasm is one more service we offer.

Insanity is a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.

Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive.

I will temporarily rule the world . . . forever.

Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted.

Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think.

Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

Have you ever noticed that if you rearrange the letters of Mother-in-Law, they come out Woman Hitler?

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. When you argue with yourself and lose, then you have a problem.

If heat rises, then shouldn't hell be cold?

I reject your reality and substitute my own.

I do not suffer from insanity— I enjoy every minute of it!

Whoever said nothing is impossible has obviously never tried slamming a revolving door.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes.

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

When life gives you lemons, throw them back and ask for Edward Cullen.

Keep smiling. It makes people think you're up to something.

There's always a light at the end of the tunnel . . . Just pray it's not a train.

Favorite Quotes:

“I used to be a sheriff until I passed my literacy test.” ~ Harper

Tony: “That is one crazy, dedicated old lady.”

Gibbs: “And one pissed-off poodle.”

Crosetti “Got any toilet paper?”

Meldrick: “Nope.”

Crosetti: “Got five ones for a five?”

“You’re not a Jedi, sweetie.” ~ Erin

“Planet Claire’s air is red; the trees are pink . . . no one has a head.” ~ The B-52’s, Planet Claire

“Harry Potter can kiss my ass!” ~ Reid

"My vessel is magnificent, and fierce, and hugeish, and gone . . . Why is it gone?" ~ Capt. Jack Sparrow

“Honey, don’t go shootin’ all the dogs just ‘cause one of them got fleas.” ~ Hud

“Bugs Bunny, private eyeball.” ~ Bugs Bunny

“The man in the furry sweater forgot to mention something.” ~ Chuck

“ECUADOR!” ~ My Quiz Bowl team ‘08-‘09

“I blew it.” ~ Aoshima

“When your car hits a guy and then he go fly, that’s a dead guy.” ~ Tom Servo

“Some idiot smuggled a koala on a submarine.” ~ Gibbs

“Elmer Fudd would’ve shot it on sight.” ~ Rusty (from—the truly amazing author—otherhawk’s story Reconstruction)

“I need to save a child! I need someone to bring me a child . . . I like children.”~ Billie Joe Armstrong (in Detroit, July 14, 2009)

“Keptin Kourk! Keptin Kourk!” ~ Chekov (Star Trek: 2009)

“I think it needs more junk in its trunk.” ~ John

"Now we're being followed by rocks . . . Never heard that before." ~ Capt. Jack Sparrow

“Why is Heathcliff such a tool?!” ~ Alex

“Nice to meet you, kid. You’re a real horse’s ass.” ~ Henry Gondorff

“Sorry I’m late, I had to find a good place to park my tank.” ~ Me

"Show me a hero and I will write you a tragedy." ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald

"Find a person who loves you for exactly who you are. Good mood. Bad mood. Ugly. Pretty. Handsome. The right person is still going to think the sun shines out of your ass. That's the kind of person worth sticking with." ~ Juno

"Time is a monster that cannot be reasoned with. It responds like a snail to our impatience, then it races like a gazelle when you can't catch a breath." ~ Joe Wenteworth (Simon Birch)

"Well-behaved women rarely make history." ~ Marilyn Monroe

"I love those moments. I like to wave at them as they pass by." ~ Capt. Jack Sparrow

"Ruffle my feathers, why don't you!" ~ Me

" . . . We are God's unwanted children? So be it!" ~ Tyler Durden

C'mon, kid. Just give us a big, hardy Rosdower!" ~ Tom Servo

Lorelai: "I ate the fuzzy Certs."

Rory: "What?"

Lorelai: "They tasted like keys."

"Lo siento para el español horible." ~ Mi madre (en una carta)

"Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard . . . Be evil." ~ Kevin

"Supermodels. Heh! Nothing super about them . . . just a bunch of spoiled, stupid little stick figures with poofy lips who think only about themselves. Feh! I used to design for gods!" ~ Edna

"Oh, for the love of all that is Gucci!" ~ Hetty (NCIS: LA)

"Pizzle-doo!" ~ Kim

Me: "Do you think we should tell Larry he's a drug?"

Kim: "Nah."

"We've decided to call him SOL. Short for 'Sex on Legs'." ~ Me (Thanks to Jojo for that name!)

"I'm not a bitch, I just have a low tolerance for bullshit." ~ Me

A Good Friend Or A Best Friend?

A good friend: Will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

A good friend: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend: Will call him up and whisper ominously, "Seven days . . ."

A good friend: Helps you up when you fall. A best friend: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumbass?"

A good friend: Helps you find your prince. A best friend: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

A good friend: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. A best friend: Will be ready to murder the loser that made you cry.

A good friend: Will offer you a soda. A best friend: Will dump theirs on you.

A good friend: Gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend: Takes yours and says, "Ha, ha! Run, bitch, run!"

A good friend: Will help you move. A best friend: Will help you move the bodies.

A good friend: Will bail you out of jail. A best friend: Will be sitting next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

A good friend: Has never seen you cry. A best friend: Won't tell anyone else that you cried . . . just laugh about it in private with you when you aren't down anymore.

A good friend: Asks for your number and writes it down. A best friend: Has you on speed dial.

A good friend: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. A best friend: Will be ready to kick their asses.

A good friend: Knows a few things about you. A best friend: Could write a very embarrassing biography for you.

A good friend: Tells you she knows how you feel. A best friend: Just sits down and cries.

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree. The
boys dont want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
and easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.