"i'll let you be in my dream if i can be in yours."
public service announcement:
on most browsers, the “back” button is green, and is located in the upper left corner. please stop complaining because you were not enjoying a story and did not have the sense to click back. this goes not just for my fics, but the entire internet. no one is interested in your inability to avoid or stop reading stories that you find offensive.
concerning silmarillion fics:
i do not like what has been going on in the fandom recently. certain individuals have been attacking writers, especially new writers and young writers, insulting and picking on them and causing some to delete their fics and/or leave the site. this behavior is thoroughly inappropriate and should not be stood for. if you receive a flame or other unconstructive criticism from such a person, take it as a compliment. keep up the good work. i’m hoping that, given time, these offenders will get bored with us and go find someone else to bother. in the meantime, don’t let any of them intimidate you, or anyone around you; remember that only a loser behaves this way, and tolkien never would have supported such conduct.
"real" publications:
i've had two poems in "amon hen" - the bulletin of the (british) tolkien society. the first was called "the passing of the grey company" and the second was "preparations (or: outside paradise)" ...i am rather proud of this, seeing that they were both written in my preteen to early teen years, and yet were published in the real thing, not the kids section. i believe it was in #194 and #206... that might not be quite right, but they're somewhere around there. it makes me feel like a "real" tolkien geek, which also makes me pretty proud. and i've finally renewed my membership, so i may send more in the future (though recently i have not been writing anything that would qualify).
what i'm working on:
-from now on, all info on where i'm at in my writings (both fanfiction and original), as well as writings that i chose not to post here, will be at my livejournal: http://yourlovingfeta.livejournal.com
-if anyone has any comments, ideas, or whatever, concerning my stories or anything else in life whatsoever, don't hesitate to contact me - pm, email, lj comment, whatever. :)
reviews and favorites:
there are stories on my favorites list that i have not reviewed. if yours is one of them, i can only say that i am sorry that i was not able to provide you any feedback. the only reason i would favorite a story without reviewing was that i was, and remain, speechless. that i didn't review you, or waited years to do so, is just about the highest praise i can give, even though it's most likely not what you want. and that i didn't review you around when i first came to this site is actually probably lucky for you, because i was really awful at reviewing back then, anyway.
if i have you or your story on my alert list but am not reviewing, i have left your fandom. i will catch up on your story if and when i return, or if you ask nicely.
i play around with my favorites list a lot, deleting, and then reinstating, trying to make sure that everything there belongs there and isn't just added on a whim. i understand that it's probably annoying for you if your fic is added to my list, and then taken off - especially if i do this multiple times, and especially now that the site sends out those automated emails when stories are favorited. usually, it is because i have decided that i prefer another of your fics, because i am slightly ocd about the number of stories on the list, because i think i have too much of a given fandom, or for some other reason that is not at all meant to insult you.
my fics are:
(in original published order)
"now i cry" - (homer) not my first posted fic, but the oldest one that i have not deleted. "the illiad" mentions babies being thrown from the city walls during the fall of troy. astyanax was hector's child. you can probably guess what happens. this fic is stream-of-consciousness to the extreme.
"rana" - (silmarillion) a drabble. rana is a noldorin name for the moon, meaning "wanderer". maglor tends to wander. if i said any more, the summary would be longer than the fic.
"listen" - (in the forests of the night) when amelia atwater-rhodes was like thirteen or fourteen, she published her first book. when i reached that age, i wrote my first fic for said book. this fic, therefore, puts my life into perspective. it's made up of half-formed thoughts, some about the ending of the novel, but many involving my life at the time and what was going on around me while i wrote, which is why i like to laugh when i get reviews from people who claim to have understood the whole thing. i almost didn't bother to post it, and it hardly even counts as a poem, let alone a fic, so it came as a surprise when it recieved so many reviews. oh well.
"none of the living" - (silmarillion) what silmfic writer hasn't written an elf-becomes-an-orc fic? everyone has to do one, but no one should post them unless they are unique and original. therefore, this fic is obviously on my to-delete list (the only one on that list that has not been deleted yet... it's a survivor!) i've actually begun rewriting it instead of getting rid of it entirely, but my muses are not complient with this idea at the moment, so i's coming out very forced and it will be a while before i am satisfied.
"precious stars" - (demon in my view) i posted this story under "in the forests of the night" because it is based on the sequel, which does not have its own section that i know of. it's just a cute, canon femslash between two vampires. slightly twisted because of the nature of vampires, but mainly just fluffy romance, with a bit of blood-sucking and slaughter thrown in for good measure. ;) as far as i know, i am the only writer of this pairing, at least on this site. if you know of any others, please tell me, as i am curious as to how others interpret this ship.
"watching, waiting: outside paradise" - (silmarillion) originally chapter three of "sun shines red", but didn't really fit there, so i deleted, edited, and posted as its own story. it was meant to be, well, fluffy angst, if that makes sense. pretty much, it's a short, slashy oneshot, contrasting the relationship of fingon and maedhros when they were younger and the bond that remains between them.
"the dopplebeater defense" - (harry potter) i've always been a sirius/remus fan. and i always wondered about dementors; you know, when they steal your memories, where do they go? and what if you don't get them back? these thoughts, combined with a desire to fit the sirius and remus relationship plausibly into canon, led me to write this fic. depressing first epilogue, unless you're a tonks fan. but by the second epilolgue, we're right back to sirius again, so it's ok. and who knows? there may be a third.
"flawless" - (silmarillion) my first ever au. basically, what if the eagle never came to help fingon save maedhros? the answer is obvious, but it was still interesting to explore the repercussions of what happens. it can be interpreted as implied slash, or not, it's all up to you.
"flawed" - (silmarillion) an au in that it doesn't follow the silmarillion, but rather is based on a few notes in the "history of middle earth" series. we all know that in chapter thirteen of the silmarillion, fingon rescues maedhros by cutting off his right hand. this was not always the case, however. in earlier drafts, it was morgoth who maimed maedhros, before sending him back to his brothers. this just always made me wonder. if morgoth honestly thought he had messed up maedhros to the point that he could be released and not be a significant threat, would the noldor still want him for a king? i think not. and then there is the matter of fingon, who never seemed the type to give up on his friend. this story could be considered slash because i used the word "lover" rather than "friend", but it's very mild.
"one of the few" - (harry potter) a fic portraying the first war based on the lives of much-written characters like lily and remus, and also more unusual ones, such as umbridge. the plot does not move in a straight line; instead, every scene begins using the last words of the previous scene. the idea behind this was that war is confusing, and couldn't just be written linearly. i haven't entirely abandoned this fic, but it is certainly on a very extensive hiatus.
"if this were a riddle" - (harry potter) my first "m" rated fic. i had always wanted to try for something with a higher rating, and the bella/voldemort ship seemed the perfect oppertunity. this was just a quick three-shot, but it now has a companion story, an au with more explanation and background - "brightest in the sky".
"six suns in the sunset" - (across the universe) the scene of this movie where those six asian women dance on top of the water has always fascinated me. it could have a number of interpretations, and i'm not even sure that i agree with the one i wrote (i tried a different one in my fic "when you dance"), but i think the story itself turned out very good - a hefty dose of war angst, but beneath it all, max is still max.
"when you dance" - (across the universe) the fandom has three main characters: max, jude, and lucy. who belongs with who? i just couldn't decide, and therefore did the next best thing by putting them in a three-way relationship. not a love triangle, but a polygamus romance, in which they celebrate their love, do their best to hide it during a family visit, and deal with various forms of drama and angst. i will tell you that the story will end with a wedding, but i'm not giving away any more than that.
"brightest in the sky" - (harry potter) an au. many reviewers of my story "if this were a riddle" asked for more - and while i don't ordinarily write requests, i actually had an idea of what more would entail, and so decided to go for it. this fic is good for anyone who would rather that sirius had not died at the end of book five, or disliked bella's death in book seven, or enjoys bellatrix/voldemort romance. i was forced to label it "bella/sirius" as well, due to a certain event in the first chapter, but while they certainly have something going on, bella's main love is voldie.
"just one victory" - (silmarillion) yet another au. in this one, morgoth does not hang maedhros from the thangorodrim, which means that fingon does not get a chance to rescue him. centuries later, the union of fingolfin results in nirnaeth, which gives maedhros a chance to escape. after a reunion with family that does not go well, he makes a decision that leads him to quite a different fate than in the published silmarillion. i've loaded this story with warnings, but i've done my best to keep it nongraphic.
"the seventh sun" (across the universe) i was thinking about the sixth chapter of "when you dance," and while it's great that i managed to get max talking without getting him drunk, i found myself doubting that one cozy chat with jude would make up for everything that had happened in the chapter's flashbacks. but "when you dance" is meant to be more romance than serious angst, and it just didn't have space for me to explore that particular issue. so this is the story of how things are going badly for max after he comes home from the war, and jojo is there to help him though it.
"blasphemy" - (silmarillion) yes, believe it or not, i actually can still write non-au, and without even a high rating or a bunch of warnings. well, little elfling fingon turned up, and spent some fluffy time in a garden with maedhros. being me, i had to throw in quite a bit of foreshadowing, but i'd say the mood is still relatively happy for most of the piece.
if you read only one of my fics:
"now i cry" most likely the best, although it is amazingly depressing, and meaningless unless you know the actual story of troy ("the iliad", not the movie).
"when you dance" is as of yet my longest story, and seems to have the most people following it.
"six suns in the sunset" has been favorited the most amount of times. more times than it's been reviewed, actually.
("none of the living" is not author-recommended. it's not much more than a poorly-written sketch of a story, i'm ashamed to have ever posted it, and will be rewriting it as soon as soon as possible. so please, keep your distance.)
i have deleted:
more stories than i can possibly remember. they include, in no particular order:
"vision of the sea", "legends of anera", "sun shines red" (although ch. 3 was reposted as its own fic), "better days" (which will be rewritten and reposted if i ever get around to it), "seagull", "comeback of the year", "dragon", "decency", "my lord", "the mountain".
"a very wise man once said: i don't know, go ask a woman."
"never insult anyone unless you have walked a mile in their shoes. that way, when you insult them you are a mile away, and you have their shoes."
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