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Author has written 19 stories for Twilight, Star Wars, Harry Potter, and Doctor Who. OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; Why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion, or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing. A moment of silence. journals & ice cream (Harry Potter post-DH series) 1. Draco Malfoy and the Trials of Single Parenthood 2. Draco Malfoy and the Perils of Dating 3. Ronald Weasley and the Midlife Crises 4. Lorcan Scamander and the Year of Raging Hormones 5. The Invention of Hugo Weasley 6. We Need To Talk About Lily 7. The Vanishing Act of Hadrian Malfoy 8. The Time Traveller's Husband | |||||||
1. Ronald Weasley and the Midlife Crises » reviewsThings have been a bit strange for Ron over the last couple of years so he hasn't had much time to dedicate to his midlife crisis, let alone everyone else's. Even less, now that he's stumbled across a major Ministry conspiracy plot.Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Mystery - Chapters: 6 - Words: 11,939 - Reviews: 45 - Updated: 4-28-12 - Published: 2-18-12 - Ron W.2. The Brightest Light » reviewsThe brightest light casts the darkest shadow. A collection of drabbles, each exactly 100 words in length, focusing on Obi-Wan, Anakin, Qui-Gon, and others. Currently accepting commissions: if anyone has an idea, please leave it in a review or PM!Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 17 - Words: 3,276 - Reviews: 65 - Updated: 3-13-12 - Published: 4-23-10 - Obi-Wan K. & Anakin Skywalker3. Chasing Redemption » reviewsAU. When Anakin dies, Obi-Wan is left to pick up the shattered remains of their lives. The Supreme Chancellor seems to offer escape from the grief and guilt – unfortunately, he's also just decided that Obi-Wan will make a perfect replacement apprentice...Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Drama/Suspense - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,442 - Reviews: 209 - Updated: 2-15-12 - Published: 2-28-10 - Obi-Wan K.4. Draco Malfoy and the Perils of Dating » reviewsThere are a lot of things wrong with Draco Malfoy's life right now, the most of which being him forced into speed dating by Ron Weasley. But it's better than sulking around at home, right? Well, maybe. It might help if a serial killer wasn't on the loose.Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Crime - Chapters: 11 - Words: 38,502 - Reviews: 87 - Updated: 1-23-12 - Published: 12-12-11 - Draco M. - Complete5. From The Ashes » reviewsAU. Anakin jumped after Padmé on Geonosis, and in that split second, the entire course of the galaxy's future was changed...One moment. One choice. A lifetime of difference. Initial Anakin/Padmé, extremely slow-building Anakin/Obi-Wan.Star Wars - Rated: M - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 36 - Words: 183,335 - Reviews: 741 - Updated: 1-19-12 - Published: 12-25-09 - Obi-Wan K. & Anakin Skywalker6. Draco Malfoy and the Trials of Single Parenthood » reviewsDraco Malfoy: ex-Death Eater, former bigot, divorcee. Astoria left him for Krum, his children worship the Weasleys who clash with the décor, something's rotten at Hogwarts, and he doesn't really know what he's doing. But maybe he's getting the hang of it.Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 11 - Words: 31,370 - Reviews: 69 - Updated: 12-13-11 - Published: 11-28-11 - Draco M. - Complete7. to be human reviewsHe tries.Doctor Who - Rated: T - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,148 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 11-30-11 - 10th Doctor Duplicate & Rose T. - Complete8. a tale told by an idiot » reviewsSequel to 'going nowhere, going somewhere'. To a vampire, twenty years was like the blink of an eye. Well, rather, a couple of blinks. A couple of really, really slow blinks. But to a human, twenty years was a very long time indeed.Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,388 - Reviews: 32 - Updated: 11-8-11 - Published: 11-5-11 - Edward9. going nowhere, going somewhere » reviewsEdward, and self-discovery. Bella taught him how to love; his new college roommate may just be the one to teach him how to live. The twenty-first century, Edward is beginning to realise, is actually kind of...awesome.Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 3 - Words: 14,211 - Reviews: 73 - Updated: 11-5-11 - Published: 9-24-10 - Edward - Complete10. Salvation Run » reviewsAshes verse. Echo Rescue Unit is the best the Friends of the Republic have to offer, and their final hope to secure the hyperlane which could turn the war in the Republic's favour. The team would go into hell for the Republic. They just did...OC cast.Star Wars - Rated: M - English - Mystery/Horror - Chapters: 5 - Words: 13,367 - Reviews: 10 - Updated: 12-31-10 - Published: 9-4-1011. Chancellorcide » reviewsAU. Anakin killed Palpatine on board the Invisible Hand. Granted, the method was a little unorthodox...Star Wars - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,444 - Reviews: 111 - Updated: 7-19-10 - Published: 4-26-10 - Anakin Skywalker12. The Bane Of His Existence » reviewsA collection of 100-word drabbles about Obi-Wan Kenobi and his permanent headache. Ahem. I mean, his Padawan, Anakin Skywalker.Star Wars - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 20 - Words: 3,751 - Reviews: 154 - Updated: 4-26-10 - Published: 4-21-10 - Obi-Wan K. & Anakin Skywalker - Complete13. Frailty Is Thy Name reviewsAshes verse. Falling in love is a repulsive state of mind and a useless emotion, and is perhaps one of the greatest mistakes to be committed in a man's life. Young Palpatine finds this out the hard way. One-shot.Star Wars - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,262 - Reviews: 9 - Published: 3-20-10 - E. Palpatine - Complete14. Daughter reviewsThe stepfather, the mother, the father. Isabella Swan has been a daughter to three people, and they all see her very differently.Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,109 - Reviews: 30 - Published: 1-5-10 - Bella - Complete15. He Was A Quiet Man reviewsThe one thing Charlie Swan regretted the most was that he never got to see his little girl grow up.Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,591 - Reviews: 92 - Published: 11-25-09 - Charlie S. & Bella - Complete16. Imprisoned reviewsSam and Emily, the perfect, loving, devoted couple. It's like they're in a prison, trapped by devotion...and something else.Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,223 - Reviews: 42 - Published: 5-25-09 - Emily & Sam - Complete17. Eighteen reviewsBreaking Dawn spoilers, dark themes, canon-compliant. Renesemee 'Nessie' Cullen has just turned seven. Or eighteen. Or whatever the hell you want to call it.Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,810 - Reviews: 165 - Published: 3-23-09 - Renesmee C./Nessie & Jacob - Complete
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