-- WOOO! It's Shawn Michaels and it looks like he's having some trouble ripping his shirt.

HELLO! And welcome to my profile.

Warning: You are in for a weird treat, seeing as I am... NOT NORMAL... and.. and.. and.. RANDOM AS HELL!

|S|H|A|W|N|M|I|C|H|A|E|L|S| My Anti-Drug. |

In Memory of Shawn Michael's Career

Thanks Shawn for all the wonderful memories. WWE will never be the same without you!

The Name: Amanda is my name and don't wear it out! Actually I prefer being called Spot. Yes that's right... Spot. Apparently, on the bus my name is Lenzez. This kid started making up weird gangster names, and that's what he came up with.

The Story Behind the Name: (dun dun dun) Before I was born my parents bought a female cocker spaniel. The name they chose for this dog was Audrey... a human's name. My grandpa thought this was odd because the dog's name wasn't Spot or Spike. So he made the comment, "So what are you going to name your first born child? Spot?" When I was told this I thought it was funny. SO... now I prefer to be called Spot. Or Aman Lynn... whichever you prefer.

The Gender: I am female, hear me ROAR!

The Age: I am eighteen and I still can't drive...

The Stories: I have several stories on mibba.com and they are all in the early stages of writing and they suck terribly since I wrote most of them around when I was eleven. They most likely have been discontinued since I do not feel the need to update them since they are such poor examples of stories. If I feel like it, I may take them down and completely rewrite them in my writing style now, which I hope is much better than before.

As for my stories on here, I'm going to systematically take them down and rewrite them. I feel the need to make them better, which hopefully I can. Before I did not do much research on my stories and I feel that I should so I can make more sense and hopefully come up with better plots. Blood Lust, which is indeed my own creation, for now will be completely discontinued. I feel that is is horribly cliched and that the whole vampire/human relationship is used in too many stories. Plus, it is utterly close to Twilight (since I was going through a Twilight phase at the time, which is indeed over and will never EVER cloud my mind again.). If I can come up with a better plot and story line, then it will be reposted. But keep in mind, it will be completely different.

Title Status Summary Comments

Love Like Cherry Blossoms - On Hiatus/posted: Assura is an adolescent wolf demon that get's separated from her family when they are ruthlessly slaughtered by Naraku. She is forced to live alone and fend for herself, which is different from her life before. She ends up finding a small group of two; a powerful Dog demon lord and an impish looking toad. Eventually, the Dog demon lord and Assura's friendship begins to blossom. Will this lead to more?Sesshy x OC

I have been working on a rewrite for a while now and I kind of have a basic idea on what I need to do. So this is most likely going to be edited first.

Blood Lust - Discontinued/posted: Sophia Black was a normal girl leading a normal life in London, England. That was until she fell in love with the wrong man, Raphael Moretti, a 189 year-old vampire. Things get rough for the two as Raphael’s clan find out about his forbidden love. Also with a war between the werewolves and vampires thrown into the mix, what will become of the two? Will Raphael be able to protect his beautiful Sophia, or will the lust for her blood become too much?

Love Lost, but Not Forgotten - Complete/ posted: Kakashi Hatake and squad seven have been captured by the Akatsuki. As time goes by he develops a relationship with one of its members, Deidara. The two tend to spend too much time together, often fulfilling eachothers needs. After an ANBU raid on the hide out, Kakashi and his team create a plan to escape. But, this will mean he has to leave his new lover to return home. One Shot Kakashi/Deidara

Risk Everything - Complete/posted: After Kakashi's break out from the Akatsuki lair, Deidara is left alone. He spends most of his time moping around, trying his best to get by. As things begin to get better, orders from Pein stop all hope. They are to travel by night to Konoha and murder those who have escaped. Will Deidara fulfill his orders? Or will he risk getting killed himself to save his only love? Sequel one shot to Love Lost, but Not Forgotten. Deidara/Kakashi

Thrust In The Limelight - On Hiatus/ posted: Bijou Delacroix is new in the WWE business. Right from the start, she was paired up with a young superstar and thrust into the limelight. Will she be able to handle all the pressure of having everyone's eyes on her? Or will she crack under all the pressure? And who knows. Maybe she'll find love in all the chaos of being a WWE superstar. Jeff Hardy/OC

I really had no plot for this story before, but now I am working on one. I will hopefully have a better idea on what to do with this story later. And I will desperately try to work on the HUGE age difference between my character and Jeff.

A Companion- Complete/posted: A young girl loses her mother to cancer, thus losing her innocence as well. A visit from a kind stranger turns her life upside down. (Modern Jesus story)

Deals With The Devil- On hiatus/posted: Elvina Wren Nightroad has lived many years, over 100 years in fact, and has seen many things that will forever haunt her. She has repressed her dreaded nightmares long and well, but what will happen when she runs into the one person who stars in all of her nightmares and is taken back to the place where he is held? AlucardxOC

I will definitely be continuing this story, but at the moment (and for the past year or so) I haven't been in the mood to sit down and write. I want to say that I am proud of this story and that I do have an end for this and somewhat of a plot, which I need to develop more.

The Likes:

Shawn Michaels (Michael Shawn James Hickenbottom... tehe Hickenbottom)- He is currently working for Vince McMahon as a WWE Superstar. In my opinion he is the sweetest and sexiest man (besides Jeff Hardy and John Cena) in the wrestling business. I particularly like him because he never gives up and he always seems to overcome any hardships and triumph. I miss him terribly, though, now that he is gone...

Green Day- The best damn band ever! Their music his highly relaxing to me and I love their sound.

Count Vladislaus Dracula (lol I love saying Vladislaus. Vladislaus Vladislaus Vladislaus... ok I'm done)- He is the evil, yet sexy, vampire from Van Helsing (played by Richard Roxburg). I love his voice, especially when he says Dracula! It sounds so AWESOME! He's personality is like "I won't bite... YET."

Vampires- Vampires would have to be my favorite creature in the world. If they were real I would gladly join the legion of the dead... and marry Count Vladislaus Dracula... AND BECOME THEIR POWER HUNGRY QUEEN! MWAHAHAHAHA! ...okay enough of my rant.

The Vampire Chronicles: So much better than Twilight because the vampires aren't complete faggots. I love the dark and twisted Lestat. He makes everything better.

Hellsing- Best damn anime EVER! It is filled to the brim with all sorts of blood, gore, and darkness. Also it has vampires... and werewolves. And a random cat-boy/girl thing... The main vampire, Alucard, is the best. He is schmexy!

Crispin Freeman- He is the voice of Itachi (Naruto), Alucard (Hellsing), Haji (Blood +), and Seigfried (Soul Calibur III). He is a sexy man as well!

Itachi Uchiha- I have no particular reason why I like him. I just think he's hot. I also love his hidden caring personality. He really sacrificed so much to make a totally undeserving person happy who purposely assisted in Itachi's demise. Damn that duckbutt, damn him!

Rockband- This game is so much fun XD

Zorin Blitz's Death- HE/SHE GOT HER FACE CHEESE GRATED ACROSS THE GROUND!

The Dislikes:

Drugs- I hate drugs. They destroy families and lives.

Randy Orton- His on-screen character in the WWE is three words... an ass hole.

Vicky Guerro and Edge- Worst couple in the world. A thirty something year old (Edge) dating a fifty something year old (Vicky) sucking face is NOT what I want to see.

Sasuke Uchiha- WHY'D HE HAVE TO KILL DIEDARA! WHY! If he hadn't betrayed Naruto and Sakura or caused Deidara's death, I would still love him. Um, I am so not happy with this bastard. Now he gets Itachi's eyes?! It's so unfair!

Kagome Higurashi- Why can't she just die? She annoys the hell out of me.

Zorin Blitz- He/she killed Pip! And he's/she's ugly.

The Extreme Dislikes: Twilight- Its just filled to the brim with Mary Sue-ness and frolicking Faggotish Vampires. I'M SICK OF IT!

The Movies: THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA (2004), Sherlock Holmes, Avatar, Young Guns, Up, Inglorious Basterds, The Dead Poet Society, Pay It Forward, Gran Torino, Nick and Nora's Infinate Playlist, Interview With the Vampire, Both Pink Panthers, Van Helsing, POTC 1 and 2, all the Harry Potters, Talidega Nights, The Good The Bad and The Ugly, Mr. Deeds, Waterboy, Hellboy, Billy Madison, Underworld, Men In Black 1 and 2, Jeff Dunham: Arguing with Myself, Valkerie and Smokey and the Bandit

The TV Shows: BURN NOTICE, Suits, WWE RAW, WWE Smackdown, WWE ECW, In Plain Sight, Royal Pains, The Steve Wilkos Show, Deal or No Deal, Sponge Bob Sqaure Pants (teehee... it brings the kid out in all of us), Law and Order SVU, Psych, Monk, Who Wants To Be A Superhero (this show is funny), InuYasha, Bleach, Naruto, One Peice, Blood , Hellsing, and Trinity Blood.

The Books: THE VAMPIRE CHRONICLES, City of Bones, City of Ash, City of Glass (I think that's the title...), City of Fallen Angels, Clockwork Angels, Wicked Lovely, Ink Exchange, Fragile Eternity, Stranger, Phantom of the Opera, Dead Silent,Thirst No. 1 & 2, Dracula, Speak, The Catcher And The Rye, The Blue Girl, all the Harry Potter books, Carrie, Cujo, and the Haunted Ohio Books.

The Music: GREEN DAY, Guns N' Roses, My Chemical Romance, Kansas, AC/DC, Lynyrd Synyrd, Good Charolette, AFI, P!ATD, Avenged Sevenfold, Three Days Grace, Seether, Evanescence, Alice Cooper, Alice In Chains, Ozzy Osbourne, The Used, Disturbed, Breaking Benjamin, Theory Of A Dead Man, Papa Roach, Staind, Toby Keith, Josh Turner, Josh Nichols, Blake Shelton, Reba McEntire, The Charlie Daniels Band, Led Zepplin, ZZ Top, The Who, Skillet, Brooks & Dunn, Gary Allan and The Lost Prophets.

The Concert List: (This is a list of all the concerts I've been to in order)
1.) ZZ Top
2.) The Charlie Daniels Band
3.) Ted Nugent
4.) Alice Cooper

5.) AC/DC

6.) Lynyrd Skynyrd/ Kid Rock

7.) GREEN DAY

8.) Tatiana (I don't know if I can count this as a concert since it was in my school gymnasium...)

9.) Tyler Dickenson/Gary Allan/Brooks & Dunn

10.) New York Dolls/Poison/Motley Crue

The List: (This is a list of phobias. Each week I will try and post up a new phobia that is both funny and completely unnatural. Lmao. I apparently haven't been updating this XD)

1. Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia- Fear of the number 666.

2. Ithyphallophobia- Fear of seeing, thinking about or having an erect penis.

3. Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia- Fear of long words.

Arachibutyrophobia- Fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth

The Random Facts:

1.) I like cheese.

2.) The smell of ink gets InuYasha high XD.

3.) Tobi is actually Obito. WE ALL KNOW IT!

4.) Yondaime Hokage and Naruto look almost alike... THAT IS BECAUSE THEY ARE FATHER AND SON!

5.) Miroku hops on a bike for the first time and can ride it his first try. What the hell! It took me four weeks to learn how to ride a bike!

6.) All my friends are either psychotic, nut cases, or a mixture of the two. I think I fall into the third group.

7.) I have a birth mark on my arm that looks like a fish. HOLY SHIT! XD

8.) Fuck, shit, and damn are my three favorite words.

9.) Orochimaru is somehow related to Michael Jackson.

10.) My favorite color is blue!

11.) I currently suffer from paranoia. I always feel like someone is watching me...

12.) Degeneration X is the best damn tag team in the WWE.

13.) Sesshoumaru made himself Naraku's bitch in episode 18.

14.) I would chase Sesshoumaru to the ends of the earth just to touch his hair. Then he'd kill me. End of story.

15.) I love Sesshoumaru's hair! It's so long and silky looking!

16.) Jaken is gay. The first time he laid eyes on Sesshoumaru he thought 'He's beautiful'. So he left his post as the imp lord and became Sesshoumaru's servent. My point is proven.

17.) I have always wanted to be a vampire... Yes. I have a corrupted mind. Deal with it.

18.) Another favorite word of mine is igit. Makes me laugh!

19.) Kagome is a whore, Kikyou is a bitch, and InuYasha deserves better. Sorry if there are any Kagome and Kikyou lovers, but I hate them.

20.) I have a really odd fetish with Sesshoumaru's hair.

21.) Tre Cool from Green Day is the One Nut Wonder. I think anyone who is good with their Green Day facts knows why.

22.) Green Day saved my life and Shawn Michaels gives me the fighting spirit to keep living on.

23.) Throughout most of the anime, Naruto is constipated. XD

24.) Sesshoumaru and Rin love stories are so wrong! Sesshoumaru is over 999 years old, appearing 20, and Rin is what? 6? Ew. So wrong.

25.) Jaken is the bitch of a bitch (refers to random fact 13)

26.) MY OPINION! A cute yaoi pairing would be Haji (Blood +), Sesshoumaru (InuYasha), and Byukuya (Bleach) because you have a silent sweet heart and two silent bastards.

27.) Sesshoumaru is now named Fluffy Puppy!

28.) KAGOME NEEDS TO DIE! I'd murder her myself if I ever saw her.

29.) You know what's scary? I can imitate the voices of guys, but not girls. I CAN SOUND LIKE SESSHOUMARU AND SHIKAMARU! And surprisingly I can sound like one girl... Sakura Haruno -_-

30.) Never play Spin-the-Kunai. It may look like a fun game, but you will get sick. Trust me.

31.) Paper towels have a mind of their own.

32.) It is like a war in my house over toilet paper. First, my dad steals the last roll from my bathroom. Then, I steal it back.

33.) Ted Nugent is the best! I just went to his concert and I can't hear at all!

34.) Faen means fuck in Norwegian.

The Quotes:

Normal people scare me- Me

Music is my life. Without it I wouldn't be able to tune out my dad when he's talking to me.- Me

Why don't you just go hump a pole.- Me
No, that's Zack's job.- Tyler (Zack is my ex boyfriend)

Deidara would be sitting there with popcorn watching this fight hoping Akira would leave and be gone forever.- Me (talking about a fight in between Kakashi & Akira in my rp)

Me and Sasuke would be like one of those drunk couples. Always calling the cops on each other.- Nicole

Orochimaru just wants Sasuke for his body.- Nicole

Where the fuck is Deidara when you need him? I want more Yaoi!- Me (I want more boysex between Kakashi and Deidara in my rp bad)

There's just an aura around Randy Orton's dick that just draws you to it.- Carolyn (staring at Orton's dick)

Oh my God! His dick has a shadow!- Morgan (we paused the DX DVD on Randy Orton and she noticed this)

I love Shawn's ass. Especially in those pants. It's nice and round and in those pants its shiny. Shiny butt!- Carolyn (talking about Shawn Michaels)

I guess Randy Orton can't listen the Tourettes Guy. He's already got a big dick.- Carolyn (referring to the "Calm down, calm down. Don't get a big DICK!" quote)

Do you guys watch the idiot tube enough to see that sort of thing?- Mr. Mignery (my history teacher)

He made me go talk to Man McMahon.- Jenna (telling me about her dream when Jeff Hardy was her dad... its Mr. McMahon)

Can't you just bend down and get the remote? Oh wait. No you can't 'cause you're old. I just burned your ass.- Carolyn (when talking to her mom)

Jack is having a crap party behind the curtains.- Eric's phone (lol just imagine that in one of those computerized voices)

You touch this and you die!- Morgan
Then Carolyn would kill you for killing me. Then she'd probably kill herself, for killing you, for killing me...- Me
And then we'll all be happy in hell!- Morgan

It's hard being a teenage boy. Especially when you're horny 110 percent of the time.- Zach S. (NOT MY EX BOYFRIEND!)
Ew! I don't want to hear about someone being horny!- Carolyn
110 percent of the time.- Zach S.
SHUT UP!- Carolyn

I love my friends.- Carolyn
Because of RANDOM FITS OF ANGER!- Me
Yes, that.- Carolyn

Carolyn died. I buried her in my backyard. But she and I are one in the same. That means I'm a zombie. I always wanted to be a zombie!- Joebob (Carolyn's alternate personality)

Carolyn has three different personalities. Psychotic, mad, and psychotically mad.- Zach S.

Stephanie! I just called Cassey Nikki. Am I gonna die!- Me

How about the fort in effort? Not fart, fort.- Mr. Finnigan (my religion teacher)

Let's return to normal because normal around here is still pretty strange.- Mr. Smith (my Spanish teacher)

I WON! For the first time EVER in my life!- Me (after beating my friend Sam in battleship)
Congratulations.- Chase

If you kill me, I'll come back and haunt your ass!- Carolyn

The only people in Moscow were about a couple dozen prostitutes. I mean look, you got a couple thousand men in the army. You're going to make some money, but you'll be really busy.- Mr. Mignery (my history teacher talking about a lesson on Napleon Bonapart)

GOSH DARNIT FREEDERT! (GOD DAMNIT FREEDERT!)- Me and Carolyn

THERE'S A MOSH PIT IN THE HALLWAY!- Me (my friend Morgan was being knocked around in the hallway at school)

Green Day currently owns my pants.- Me

My head is magical!- Tabitha (my friend Carolyn lost her cell phone's signal and after she moved it over Tabitha's head the signal came back XD)

Did you just say frogs?- Miranda
I just said frogs.- Mr. Scherl (my math teacher)

Here, a sexy pencil from a sexy teacher!- Mr. DeAngelo
And why are you sexy?- Mr. Mignerey
Because I'm Italian.- Mr. DeAngelo

Mr. Deangelo was a studmuffin in high school, weren't you?- Mr. Mignery
I was a studmuffin. I AM a studmuffin.- Mr. DeAngelo

You know Mr. Mignery taught me in high school? Does it look like I'm younger than him?- Mr. DeAngelo
Of course!- Andrew
Oh, I like this kid.- Mr. DeAngelo

That video was 13 minutes of dumb.- Katie

For 25 cents, you could buy me a friend.- Ashley

Nicolas sounds sexy.- Nick

Take the boot off!- Morgan
It's about Rudolph!?- Nicole

Your knee is weird.- Nicole
Do you like my knee?- Joel
No.- Nicole

It's just pretend! Pretend is fun!- Mr. Mignery

Remember, I'm the pretty one.- Mr. DeAngelo
And I'm not.- Mr. McCabe

Those guys were bumbling boobs. I mean total idiots!- Mr. Mignery

Starch is a vegetable.- Chris W. (RETARD!)

Quit throwing cows in front of my train!- Mr. Gretz (Tech teacher)

If she won't let me read, I am going to write.- Me

I openly admit I am insane.- Me

JASON! I'm going to stab you with this goddamned fork.- Joe

I love Uncle Frank. But Uncle Frank's a FAG!- Joe
So is Aunt Jack.- Tina

I don't like people with unibrows. I eat people with unibrows.- Marcus (making fun of Santino)

You got no choice. You've got mail!- Toydal/Megan

There'd be a pretty rainbow and then RAWR! Mother Nature would be like "No!"- Mr. Streng (my science teacher)

He said the word blade.- Mr. Wirth (My religion teacher)

By the way, that was the ADD moment of the day. Brought to you by aderol.- Mr. Wirth

If I bring in popcorn, can we watch the movie?- Colton
Don't tempt the fat teacher.- Mr. Wirth

There's a hamburger in my purse!- me (at lunch I knocked my tray off the table and my hamburger fell in my purse XD)

Mom he bit me! No, I didn't! I just pushed him I swear! No mom! Don't use the belt!- Caorlyn (she was talking about what it'd be like if Deidara had kids XD)

I know it's terrible. It's a huge body of gas named Uranus.- Mr. Streng

In the event that you catch on fire... STOP, DROP, AND ROLL!- Mr. Streng

You have babies! What?! No I don't! GET RID OF THEM! Ha ha. Just kidding.- Marcus (when talking to himself XD)

I feel better now. I've been trying to get that hairball out all day.- Marcus
Marcus, you're not a fucking cat.- me
Well, you're not a pony!- Marcus

Great minds think alike, but the things they think about aren't always so great.- Marcus (psst... he stole that quote from his older sister! XD)

Right after he has that emotional breakdown. Fat guys always do.- Denise

I was never a dancer. I dance like a sick bear.- Mr. O'Hara (my English teacher)

Where did this person's arm go?- Ms. Petrick
I don't know.- Sally
Poor person.- Ms. Petrick

Is anyone paying attention?- Chris
I can't pay attention. I have ADD!- Mr. Streng

PP! HA! I said PP!- Mr. Zimmerman

They were probably getting a little chuckle with their pocket protectors bouncing up and down.- Mr. Zimmerman

Here slaves, here's some guns. Here master, you're dead.- Mr. Zimmerman

Should I give them one more chance.- Mr. Zimmerman
Yeah!- Krissy
Okay. We'll give them one more chance. That's what we do with children. We give them last chances before I throw a garbage can at them.- Mr. Zimmerman

This is wonderful class you have here.- Mr. DeAngelo
You don't know them.- Mr. Zimmerman

I do not know the answer to that one, Mr. Z. Please have mercy on me.- Mr. Zimmerman

I sing too. ONLY in the car. I used to sing in the shower but that doesn't work anymore.- Mr. Wirth

And what I do is out run all the other fat guys.- Mr. Wirth

You enter a tree into a fair?- Mr. Wirth

That's back.- Andy (talking about Nick V. when he walked into the class)
Why is that back?!- John

Not that giving up candy doesn't make you a bad person. You're a better person than I am. When I see a Mr. Good bar I'd violently attack even if Jesus was standing next to me.- Mr. Wirth

Only someone on crack could make something like this. But I'm not on crack. So what does that say about my mind? Scary things that's what.- Rachel

I had Gatorade today. No, Powerade. Maybe gator... Well it was some kind of Ade.- Rachel

Today is now Kaswanicamas!- Rachel (tis her new holiday XD)

The 'A' is inside the 'C'. So the 'C' ate the 'A'.- Rachel

Yeah, I worry about myself too. Not really. Just sayin'- Rachel

Koo koo kachoo goes the Choo Choo Train.- Rachel (I don't even know...)

I really wonder what's wrong with you.- Me
Hasn't this already been explained? Actually, no it hasn't.- Rachel

It's the evil Nazi muffin of DOOM!- Rachel

I like Joe.- Me
No you don't.- Rachel (she said it so serious! That's why it's funny.)

I saw a flash of light. Are we dead?- Rachel

This is going to be a documentary of you during eighth period class about how retarded you are!- Me

If I had stick figure I'd name it Rodger.- Audrey

Poke her. She makes funny noises.- Brandon (Tabby's cousin)

Get off the floor.- Joe
I put him there. I apologize.- Brandon

This little piggy went to the market. And this little piggy is dead because he was my bacon!- Carolyn

Ted Nugent Quotes (August 6, 2008 Bogarts, Cincinnati):

This here is a sniper guitar. I hear Obama is trying to ban these. Well, this is what I got for Obama. I got a fuck you! When you try to steal my guns, I say FUCK YOU!- Ted Nugent

One of my huntin' buddies asked, 'Ted, why do you need a machine gun to go duck huntin'?'. I said' I don't need a machine gun to go duck huntin', but I'm goin' to Cincin-fuckin'-nati!- Ted Nugent

Look at that. Even my gun has balls.- Ted Nugent

How about free machine guns for all the children here tonight! How's that sound? Free Machine guns for all the boys and girls. You skinny bitches get two. Oh, and all you fat bitches have to load them.- Ted Nugent

The Naruto Quotes:

You can't demolish the client Naruto. It doesn't work that way.- Kakashi Hatake

Hey you. The freak with no eyebrows.- Naruto Uzumaki

Its okay, its okay. I'm rude to them too!- Tazuna

CHUBBIES RULE!- Choji

If you want to kill me, despise me, hate me, and live in an unsightly way... Run, and cling to life, and then some day, when you have the same eyes as I do, come before me.- Itachi Uchiha

Naruto, it's nice that you removed the poison so spiritedly, but you'll bleed to death if you lose any more... seriously.- Kakashi Hatake

A cute girl stopped me on the way, so I danced.- Kakashi Hatake

Hello students, today I got lost on the road of life.- Kakashi Hatake

A soul needs a purpose to live... and so I concluded that my purpose was to kill everyone besides myself. I felt alive...- Gaara of the Sand (PSYCHO! O_O)

No, you don't get it, thats why I'm telling you. You think you get it, which isn't the same as actually getting it. Get it?- Kakashi Hatake

Art is a BANG!- Deidara

Hmm... Itachi... it would be annoying if he moved around a lot. Perhaps we should cut off a leg or two?- Kisame Hoshigaki

How should I put this? My first impression of you three is...I hate you all.- Kakashi Hatake

Why do you fight against your fate that hard?- Neji Hyuga
Because you called me a loser- Naruto Uzumaki

I forgot. This girl's a spunky one. I hate spunky.- Shikamaru Nara

Hey kid. What do you want? What is it? Well, what ever it is, you better have some treats. Because if you think I'm doing somethin' for nothin' you're WRONG!- Gamakichi

It's not that. I was just wondering, before you left, if you could show me again?- Naruto Uzumaki
Pay me.- Jiraiya
Get out of here you dirty old skirt chaser!- Naruto Uzumaki

Don't worry. We'll see it one way or another.- Naruto Uzumaki
I'm asking you how you dirty little troll!- Sakura Haruno
All right smartie pants, how do you propose we do it?- Naruto Uzumaki
Well, we...- Sakura Haruno
We'll just have to trail him aorund for the rest of the day. He'll have to take off the mask eventually.- Sasuke Uchiha
Oh, Sasuke. I swear, you are so smart!- Sakura Haruno
Oh whatever, good plan captain obvious.- Naruto Uzumaki
I'm sorry, what was that? Sakura Haruno
Uh nevermind.- Naruto Uzumaki

He's on to us.- Sasuke Uchiha
Nice job Naruto. You blew our cover!- Sakura Haruno
Why the heck is it my fault?- Naruto Uzumaki
Wait. My favorite book is going to be a movie?! I better order tickets in advance!- Kakashi Hatake

We should shadow him, it'd be good practice. But we should do it solo this time.- Sasuke Uchiha
Yeah, I think so too. We should totally ditch Naruto.- Sakura Haruno
SAY WHAT!?- Naruto Uzumaki

Behind this mask(dramatic pause)- Kakashi Hatake
Behind that mask.- Sasuke Uchiha, Sakura Haruno, Naruto Uzumaki
Is another mask! Pretty cool huh?- Kakashi Hatake

Hey! Quit hitting on her or I'm gonna start hitting on you!- Naruto Uzumaki

I was given the family name Uzumaki. But I'm known to everyone as...-Naruto Uzumaki
As the knucklehead.- Sasuke Uchiha
The knucklehead. Hey very funny!- Naruto Uzumaki

Look who's talking! Last time I checked you were the reigning king of stupid!- Sakura Haruno

Okay! Everyone get under the cart as fast as you can!- Choji
We're already under here.- little girl
Wow, that was fast.- Choji

The Wrestling Quotes:

I think Degeneration X's moto is do unto other what you think is funny- Jerry "The King" Lawler

There's another old classic saying. Doc, it's better to be pissed off, Than pissed on!- Shawn Michaels (before he threw his own urine in the faces of Vince and Shane McMahon)

Are you ready? Then, for the thousands in attendance and the millions watching at home... Let's get ready to SUCK IT!- Triple H

I think he burned my retnas.- Shawn Michaels
I told you he was an ass.- Triple H

Oh for the love of God! Does anyone have a toothbrush or something!- Triple H (talking about Snitsky who has yellow teeth)

You don't deserve a thing. Actually, what you do deserve is a good dental hygenist. Which I can set you up with.- Shawn Michaels (once again talking about Snitsky)

(Degeneration X talking about Raw in HD)
Everythin would be clearer... crisper... sharper...-Triple H (notices Shawn's bald spot and stares)
What are looking at!- Shawn Michaels
N-nothing.- Triple H
What are you looking at!- Shawn Michaels
Nothing. Its just that everythings going to sharper... clearer- Triple H (stares at Shawn's bald spot again)
What are you looking at? Its just. Everything shows up more, right? Even the imperfections?- Shawn Michaels
Yep. You should put on the hat and see how clear it is.- Triple H (Shawn puts on a hat and leaves)
It's just that now that Raw is in HD, everything is going to be crisper, clearer, sharper images. Everything's going to be balder. Bol-bolder!- Triple H
GOD NOW I REALLY NEED TO FIND A MIRROR!- Shawn Michaels
I meant bolder Shawn!- Triple H

I've wined and dined with kings and queens. And I've slept in alleys and dined on pork and beans.- Dusty Rhodes

Now just wait one second. Just wait one cotton-picking second. Yeah I just went there.- John Cena

I'm a limosene ridin', jet flyin', kiss stealin', wheelin' dealin' sun of a gun.- Ric Flair

I know Horneswaggle is innocent. But I pray on the innocent, it's how I've made my fortune. And quite frankly, it's fun.- John Bradshaw Layfield

And maybe Briteny Spears will finally put on underwear.- Edge

You know the boop boop boop? Has he ever done that for you? I love that.- Tazz
I love when you do it.- Joey Styles

I thought winning the Money and the Bank match was a better way to get to the top than sleeping with the boss, like somebody I know.- C.M. Punk
You don't understand the love I feel for Vicky- Edge
Dude, that's gross! That's not something I want to understand.- C.M. Punk

Well, what stupid is, stupid does.- Tod Grisham
What'd you call me?- Tazz

Woah, don't get offended, Miz. I loved you two in Broke Back Moutain.- Matt Hardy

Well, Vickie. Looking at you, I see that Edge has done a lot of things that I would never do.- Triple H
What are you saying?- Vickie Guerrero
I've seen a lot of Edge's past girlfriends and you're a step up.- Triple H

Clothesline from hell, huh? Well, I've been to hell and I didn't see your clothesline any where.- Kane

John is what we like to use the term freak of nature for. -Shawn Michaels.

Tap out Finaly! Come on, tap out!- The Miz
SHUT YOUR FACE!- Finlay

You're right, Edge. I don't love Vicky. Actually the sight of her makes me sick.- John Cena

Vicky! You've got some 'splainin' to do!- John Cena

The Pirates of the Caribbean Quotes:

I've got a jar of dirt! I've got a jar of dirt! And guess what's inside it!- Jack Sparrow

Put it away, son. It's not worth you getting beat again.- Jack Sparrow
You didn't beat me: you ignored the rules of engagement. In a fair fight, I'd kill you.- Will Turner
That's not much incentive for me to fight fair, then, is it?- Jack Sparrow

And what's your story sailor?- Mr. Gibbs
My story? My story is the same as yours just one chapter behind. I chased a man across the seven seas. The pursuit cost me my crew, my commission, and my life.- James Norrington
Commodore?- Mr. Gibbs
No, not anymore! Weren't you listening!- James Norrington

This... is going to save Elizabeth?- Will Turner
How much do you know about Davy Jones?- Jack Sparrow
Not much.- Will Turner
Yeah, it's gonna save Elizabeth.- Jack Sparrow

You actually were telling the truth.- James Norrington
I do that quite a lot. Yet people are always surprised.- Jack Sparrow
With good reason.- Will Turner

Why not? We are very much alike you and I. I and you. Us.- Jack Sparrow
Except for a sense of honor and decency and a moral center. And personal hygiene.- Elizabeth Swann

The Tourettes Guy Quotes:

Don't talk shit about Total.- Tourettes Guy

BITCH! I love you.- Tourettes Guy

I'm watching the first season of Alf. Alf. Alf! ALF! You're ninety-three years old and you don't know what Alf is?- Tourettes Guy

The garbage disposal sounds like Chewbacca taking a shit.- Tourettes Guy

OH BOB SAGGET!- Tourettes Guy

I'd like to see you walk a mile in my SHIT!- Tourettes Guy

That's not Mickey Mouse, that's tit dirt.- Tourettes Guy

We'll be out of the butt and into the fuck.- Tourettes Guy

Fashion Bug... Fasion Bug... Fashion Bug... I'd like to meet the mother fucker who named it Fashion Bug and shove a broom handle up his ass.- Tourettes Guy

Yes. I bought your Colgate toothpaste. The one with tartar control. And it made me feel like a peice of SHIT!- Tourettes Guy

I'll throw my shoe at your faggot ass!- Tourettes Guy

Calm down, calm down. Don't get a big DICK!- Tourettes Guy

I'd kill myself too if my last name was COMBS!- Tourettes Guy

You mean Colonel Cluster Fucks? FUCK HIM!- Tourettes Guy

Ffffff... I don't even know who the fuck that is, but fuck him too! FUCK HIM HARD!- Tourettes Guy

I don't give a dead moose's last SHIT!- Tourettes Guy

These chicken tenders are as hard as tits!- Tourettes Guy

Your mother is the one who dicks with the egg nog.- Tourettes Guy

I wouldn't tit-fuck her ass.- Tourettes Guy

I called her a bitch right in front of her tits!- Tourettes Guy

Who's the faggot with the tuba?- Tourettes Guy

Let me tell you about a porcupine's balls. They're small and they don't give a SHIT!- Tourettes Guy

You can't do shit without your dick!- Tourettes Guy

We're at the ass-end of the First Baptist Church.- Tourettes Guy

Okay, who wrinkled my Randy Travis poster, pissed in the seat, and stole my keys?- Tourettes Guy

The Invader Zim Quotes:

I'm gonna roll around on the floor a bit, kay?- Gir

Well its been nice working with you Gir. Self destruct.- Invader Zim

Hello floor! Make me a sandwich.- Gir

Must obey the taco man.- Gir

I never want you to mention biscuits again.- Invader Zim

SANDWICH! I had a sandwich in my head.- Gir

Its me! I WAS THE TURKEY ALL ALONG!- Gir

I know all sorts of things about you. Creepy isn't it?- Zim
Yes, that is creepy! You're creepy Zim.- The Tallest

Something is broken in this house and you're not behind it?- Zim
Yeah, I know. I'm scared too.- Gir

The Green Day Quotes:

It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt. Then its hilarious!- Billie Joe Armstrong

I sound like and Englishman impersonating an Amercian impersonating an Englishman.- Billie Joe Armstrong

You just gotta grab life by the balls and squeeze.- Mike Dirnt

I've heard of buzz worthy videos, but buzzard worthy? DAMN!- Mike Dirnt

Popular music seems to be stuck on suck.- Interviewer
Its stuck on suck! Get it off suck! I CAN'T GET IT OFF SUCK!- Mike Dirnt

There's 70,000 fans out there. What are you guys planning?- Interviewer
I'm gonna sleep with each and every one of them.- Mike Dirnt

Why are the no clouds in the sky!- Jason White
'Cause God wants to watch his favorite band again!- Tre Cool

Condoms are for sailors.- Tre Cool

Garden tip number one. Never jack off a cactus. You'll only hurt your hand... and the cactus's feelings.- Tre Cool

Garden tip number five. GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FUCKING GARDEN!- Billie Joe Armstrong

Do you wanna have sex and get married? Oh sorry.- Billie Joe Armstrong

Green Day is like sex. When we're good, we're really good. And when we're bad... we're still pretty damn good!- Mike Dirnt

I can suck my own!- Tre Cool
That's your munchie of choice.- Billie Joe Armstrong

Tre what is the Bullwinkle? No, never mind. I mean we know what it is.- Mike Dirnt
I could demonstrate... but this isn't the right network.- Tre Cool
He would need a volunteer.- Billie Joe Armstrong
JULIA!- Tre Cool

Can I name it!- Joey Armstrong
Sure. What're you gonna name it?- Billie Joe Armstrong
Speedy.- Joey Armstrong
Speedy. That's a good name.- Billie Joe Armstrong
Dad, when it dies, can we bury it in the backyard?- Joey Armstrong
I don't know. Let's not talk about that right now.- Billie Joe Armstrong

I'm not gonna say anything inspirational; I'm just gonna fucking swear a lot.- Billie Joe Armstrong

School is practice for the future, and practice makes perfect, and nobodies perfect, so why practice?- Billie Joe Armstrong

There's nothing wrong with being a loser, it just depends on how good you are at it.- Billie Joe Armstrong

It's my fucking life and you know what nobody invited you...so there's the door...see ya!- Billie Joe Armstong

'Welcome to Montreal-- fuck you', would be a good sign at your highways.- Billie Joe Armstrong

Attack your instruments. Don’t let them attack you.- Billie Joe Armstrong

Dogs are gonna take over the world. It's a known fact for those who believe it, kinda like the Bible.- Mike Dirnt

I have a daughter and she's the greatest thing that ever happened to me. She gives me a good excuse to watch cartoons.- Mike Dirnt

I have a homosexual crush on most adolescents.- Tre Cool

I want to wash your grandmother.- Tre Cool

I don't understand what Billie just said so, I'll talk about chickens...- Tre Cool

The Van Helsing Quotes:

Oh don't be boring. Everyone who says that dies.- Count Vladislaus Dracula

It must be such a burden, such a curse, to be the left hand of God.- Count Vladislaus Dracula

I'd rather kill myself than help in such a task.- Victor
Oh feel free. I actually don't need you anymore Victor.- Count Vladislaus Dracula

I'm a cold hearted bitch.- Frankenstein (in the Van Helsing bloopers)

Well, you must be the great Van Helsing.- Mr. Hyde
And you're a deranged psychopath.- Van Helsing
We all have our little problems.- Mr. Hyde

The hell be damned I'm going with you.- Carl
You cursed. Not very well mind you. But you're a monk. You shouldn't curse at all.- Van Helsing
Actually, I'm just a friar. I can curse all I want. Damn it.- Carl

You shattered the Rose window.- Cardinal Jinette
Well not to split hairs, but it was Mr. Hyde who did the shattering.- Van Helsing

Igor! Do unto others...- Count Vladislaus Dracula
Before they do unto me.- Igor

Why does it smell like wet dog in here?- Carl
Werewolf!- Van Helsing

Did I scare you?- Aleera
No...- Carl
Then maybe I need to try harder.- Aleera

Igor!- Count Vladislaus Dracula
Yes, master?- Igor
Why do you torment that thing so?- Count Vladislaus Dracula
It's what I do.- Igor

Do let's.- Mr. Hyde

The My Chemical Romance Quotes:

This shit is easy peasy pumpkin peasy pumpkin pie mother fucker.- Gerard Way

Has goldfinger ever had a flock of mooses advancing on him? It's a terrifying sight.- Frank Iero
That's not the plural of moose, it's moosi.- Mikey Way
Fuck off, it's meese.- Gerard Way

Craziest thing that ever happened to me was being attacked by a black bird. It pecked the shit out of my head. We were at this hotel called The Phoenix in San Francisco. We were leaving to go to a show the next morning and the bird just fuckin' attacked my head. And the next day Slipknot were there, they were coming in as we were leaving, and they got attacked by birds too.- Gerard Way

I went to school in drag, in art school and my day was completely different because everybody thought I was a chick. You should see me as a chick. So I went as a girl, as like an experiment and it worked really well and everyone was really nice to me but I couldn't talk obviously...you know train conductors were really cool to me on my commute...HA! I looked hot as a chick!- Gerard Way

I can't imagine any other bands having better kids than ours, and if they do at least I know our kids can beat up their kids.- Frank Iero

Did you read the new Elen DeGeneres book?- Camerman
Yes.- Frank Iero
What'd you think of it?- Camerman
It made me a lesbian.- Frank Iero

My biggest addictions have been chocolate cake, mashed potatoes, and butter sandwiches. - Frank Iero

Look at me, with my pretty bracelet and tiara... I'm a fuckin' princess! -Gerard Way

So many people treat you like you're a kid so you might as well act like one and throw your television out of the window. - Gerard Way

The Disney Movie Quotes:

I am not a boy. I MEAN! I am not a squirrel, I'm a boy.- Merlin (The Sword and the Stone)

Sounds like someone's sick. How wonderful.- Mad Madame Mim (The Sword and the Stone)

Oh that horrible little witch! I'll...I'll peck her eyes out- Arthur (The Sword and the Stone)

The sheriff and his whole posse couldn't lift you off the ground.- Robin Hood (Robin Hood)

Snakes don't walk, they slither. So there.- Hiss (Robin Hood)

MOMMY! I got a dirty thumb.- Prince John (Robin Hood)

The Dethklok Quotes:

Mmmmm... tits... a fish... a fish with tits... tittyfish.- Murderface

Dr. Roxo, I hate you. You should die. I think you're an idiot. I hate your voice. There is not enough room on this paper to properly describe how much I hate you. I think you should go die. There is that good?- Nathan

The Funny Comedian Quotes:

Booths in a restaraunt where the table doesn't move. Oh thank you for this nonmoveable table. Why don't you just give me a big knife so I can gut myself open and slide right in here. And then when I'm done, why don't I lay back and you can count all the rings to see how old I am. Whoopty-flippin-do! LET'S GO!- Unknown

Welcome to Walmart. Get your shit and get out.- Walter (Jeff Dunham's puppet)

New from the Colonel. Chicken N' Tits.- Walter (Jeff Dunham's puppet)

Then I started thinking, What the hell... was on Peanut's butt... that labeled me the potential terrorist!- Jeff Dunham

Is your wife having a good time?- Jeff Dunham
Yes, she always has a good time. Pisses me off.- Walter (Jeff Dunham's puppet)

She said I don't make the right noises during sex. Wanna hear what I do?- Walter (Jeff Dunham's puppet)
No.- Jeff Dunham
Okay, you talked me into it. Be careful, this is kinda pornographic. Get off. I can't see the weather channel. Get the hell off.- Walter

I don't know. My wife and I couldn't find a place to park. Then this jerk in a brand new Mercedes drove up and parked in the handicap space. Then he got out and there was nothing wrong with him. Don't you hate that? So I ran his ass over. I made an honest man out of him. Then his mother got out from the other side and started swinging her crutches at me. I took her out with the door.- Walter (Jeff Dunham's puppet)

Why'd you choose me as a client?- Jeff Dunham
Because you're safe.- Sweet Daddy Dee (Jeff Dunham's puppet)
I'm what?- Jeff Dunham
Safe. I have a lot of other clients getting in trouble and their asses thrown in jail. I don't see you getting your ass thrown in jail any time soon. Unless they make lotion illegal.- Sweet Daddy Dee
Would you drop the lotion?- Jeff Dunham
Sure, but I'm not picking it up anywhere near your ass.- Sweet Daddy Dee

The drive from the valley...- Jeff Dunham
Was bad as hell- Peanut
Traffic?- Jeff Dunham
Sucked like hell.- Peanut
And the drivers?- Jeff Dunham
Were angry as hell.- Peanut
And you?- Jeff Dunham
Was scared as hell.- Peanut
Parking here...- Jeff Dunham
Sucked more like hell.- Peanut
So...-Jeff Dunham
We're in hell! And these are our hellmates. Think about it. The next time someone tells us to go to hell, we have to come right here!- Peanut

Oh yes. I love coming to Sa nata a na... What the hell is that? Sa nata a na. What is it, a fricken Indian reservation? What the hell? Sa nata a na... how.- Peanut
It's Santa Ana. Santa Ana.- Jeff Dunham
Look I know I never finished school, but that fricken says Sa nata a na. Dumbass.- Peanut

There's a lot of history in this city.- Jeff Dunham
Translated. Old as shit.- Peanut
They've been reguvinating, refurbrishing...-Jeff Dunham
Polish a turd, it's still a turd.-Peanut

I'm just kidding buddy, what's your name? I'm fucking looking right at ya... Am I?- Peanut
I think so.- Jeff Dunham
Fix my eyes you asshole. It's really hard to talk to someone you're not looking at. That's like trying to talk to someone who has a lazy eye. You don't know which one to focus on. You're just sitting there talking to them and thinking 'Oh crap, should I be looking at that eye or that eye?'. Focus you moron!- Peanut

A business analist... Fascinating. How the hell does that work? You go to business and go Hm mm hm... You are a business!- Peanut

Think about this. They brought a bunch of deaf people to see a ventrilaquist! What! What are they going to do next? Take a bunch of blind people to David Cockerfield? The elephant disappeared. It just fucking disappeared. Oh my God he's juggaling! You should really see... Oh sorry!- Peanut

You were supposed to take him to the spa.- Jeff Dunham
I took him to the spa.- Peanut
He put me in the vegetable steamer.- Jose Jalepeno
It's the same thing!- Peanut
It's not the same thing.- Jeff Dunham
Yeah it is. It gets hot, then it gets steamy, then it goes DING!-Peanut
Purple bastard.- Jose Jalepeno
Mexican condament.- Peanut
A condament?- Jeff Dunham
I do not use them.- Jose Jalepeno
You don't?- Peanut
And neither did your mother.- Jose Jalepeno
That was funny shit, funny shit right there. Whoa that was really good. You have to work on it a little though. Because from here it sound like it was coming from my ass.- Peanut
That just gives me somewhere to put my stick.- Jose Jalepeno

Did anything else happen today?- Jeff Dunham
No.- Peanut
Yes.- Jose Jalepeno
Damn.- Peanut
What?- Jeff Dunham
We were getting out of the car today.- Peanut
He slammed my stick in the door. And now I have a sore stick- Jose Jalepeno
Peanut did you apologize?- Jeff Dunham
No.- Peanut
Why not?- Jeff Dunham
Because I couldn't. I couldn't breathe!- Peanut
Why couldn't you breathe?- Jeff Dunham
Because he was laughing too hard.- Jose Jalepeno
Man it was funny. He looked like a hood ornament from Taco Bell!- Peanut
You're just going to have to apologize.- Jeff Dunham
Okay. I'm sorry Jose.- Peanut
It's okay. I hope you die.- Jose Jalepeno

Whoa! I thought you were going to drop him. That would've been funnier than hell!- Peanut
Don't drop me Senor. Or I'd be Jose Jalepeno on the floor.- Jose Jalepeno
Everybody do a little tapdance, we have salsa!- Peanut
That's terrible!- Jeff Dunham
Not with the right kind of chips its not.- Peanut
Stop it! I'm sorry Jose- Jeff Dunham
It's okay. I kick his ass later.- Jose Jalepeno
I'll turn your ass into guacamole! I'll stir you with your own stick! This is the way we stir the guac, stir the guac, stir the guac... OLAY!- Peanut

I want to see the girls.- Jose Jalepeno
What girls?- Peanut
Any girls.- Jose Jalepeno
What makes you think a girl would want to see you?- Jeff Dunham
Jose has the stick.- Jose Jalepeno

What's wrong with you?- Jeff Dunham
Too much Starbucks. Coffee, coffee, coffee.- Peanut
You didn't have any coffee.- Jeff Dunham
Fine. I admit, it was crack.- Peanut
You didn't have any crack.- Jeff Dunham
Well then you did.- Peanut
No.- Jeff Dunham
Are you sure? It feels like one of us did. Did you do crack before the show?- Peanut
No.- Jeff Dunham
During the show?- Peanut
No.- Jeff Dunham
After the show?- Peanut
No!- Jeff Dunham
When?- Peanut
Never! I have never done crack!- Jeff Dunham
Are you sure?- Peanut
Yes.- Jeff Dunham
Are you lying?- Peanut
No.- Jeff Dunham
You see how angry you are?- Peanut
Yes.- Jeff Dunham
It's the crack!- Peanut
There is no crack!- Jeff Dunham
Oh my God, he sold it all!- Peanut

You should get drunk and go to a strip club.- Peanut
Why?- Jeff Dunham
You'd be throwing your voice out of places it should never come from. Some girl would come dancing up to the table and then all of a sudden you hear 'Let me out! It's dark in here! No coins please!'.- Peanut

Look it's Gay Man! Don't turn your back on him. Unless you have the lotion.- Peanut

He was sucking my cock! And I will never forget what I said to him. 'You finish up and get the fuck out!'. I can't believe you S's!- Dane Cook

The InuYasha Quotes:

Yeah, yeah. Roar roar to you too buddy.- InuYasha

Bite his little head off, Lord Sesshoumaru. Nibble on his little toes!- Jaken

I'm going to slit your stomach, take out your guts, and put 'em in a bowl!- InuYasha

Hey Shippou, your village called. They're missing their idiot.- InuYasha

What are you gawking at? Yeah, it's pretty bad when you can give a half demon the creeps.- InuYasha

Hang on tight, ladies. This swinging bridge is about to live up to it's name.- InuYasha

Bad move. What'd you do that for shrimp?- InuYasha
To knock some sense into you. We're supposed to be looking for the jewel shards.- Shippou
Get off my back. Even a guy like me needs some time to think every once in a while.- InuYasha
Yeah, that's what I'm worried about.- Shippou
Worry about this! Hey come back here you little pipsqueek!- InuYasha
Can't catch me can you, you big oaf!- Shippou
Now you've done it!- InuYasha

She wears a shard of the shikon jewel. And they're... uh... it's huge!- Miroku (he thinks this after he saw Kagome in the hot springs before they met. We all know what he was looking at... and it's not the shards. Naughty naughty Miroku.)

Wait, come to think of it. You and Kagome have been together for a long time and yet you still don't bathe together. Think of all the fun things you could do when there's two of you.- Shippou
Listen kid.- InuYasha
Mom, dad, and I always took baths together and we had a really great time.- Shippou
Remind me to explain it to you when you're a bit older.- InuYasha
I guess that means you haven't gotten very far with Kagome yet, right? I don't know what that means, but no one seems to be willing to answer.- Shippou

C'mon. Can't you try and see the humor in it? So I bonked you on the head and you saw me naked. Can't we call it even?- Kagome
I saw nothing!- InuYasha
He did. Right?- Kagome
I don't know. I was looking somewhere else.- Shippou (WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU LOOKING?)

I thought you were just her companion, but it seems that you are in love with Kagome. My, this is awkward.- Miroku
You got it all wrong. I'm not in love with her. She's just a jewel collector.- InuYasha
A jewel collector? Is that all I am to you? Oh wait, how could I forget. You've got a thing for dead girls! Who would I help out? Miroku is a lot nicer than InuYasha.- Kagome
You wouldn't dare betray me!- InuYasha
You couldn't really blame her. You could treat her more kindly.- Miroku
Ha! What do you know!- InuYasha
Not only that, but you could learn another thing or two!- Kagome
Like being more gentle.- Miroku
Yes, like being more gentle.- Kagome
Like this.- Miroku
AH! Get your hands off me!- Kagome
I told you not to touch her!- InuYasha

Are you actually telling me you like that lecher?- InuYasha
Yeah, I do. As if. It was obviously a joke.- Kagome
She likes him? What can she possibly see in that guy?- InuYasha
Can't you pay attention for more than three seconds?- Kagome
He's such an idiot.- Shippou

Help! Someone rescue the Princess!- Random lady
Coming!- Miroku (Pervert -_-)

You need not thank me, and I do not hold a grudge against your men. But I fear the danger has yet to pass. The demons will surely attack again. Come to think of it, the princess will undoubtedly be safer if she were to stay here with me, here in the same room, sharing the same bedding.- Miroku
He's at it again! And I suppose you need to search her robes while you're at it you pervert!- InuYasha

Sit!- Kagome
Would you stop with that?- InuYasha
I collected these shards on my own. So in taking them that would make you a thief.- Miroku
Thanks for spelling it out!- InuYasha

You just can't eat and run!- InuYasha
If the demon is truly big, then we are no match for it. It's irrational. It's impossible. It's against my religion.- Miroku
You outta be arrested.- InuYasha

Such poor swordsmanship. The little man is having trouble holding his sword.- Sesshoumaru

I'm afraid I can listen to this no longer. I must put an end to this foolish sibling rivalry.- Miroku
Hey! Butt out! I can handle this.- InuYasha
Not on your own you can't.- Miroku.
Back off creep. I wanna stand in the front!- InuYasha
Don't be such a stubborn mule.- Miroku
Very funny coming from you!- InuYasha

Miroku you're the best! Oh and you were good too.- Kagome
Gee thanks. I can tell it was from the heart.- InuYasha

Blah, blah, blah. The guy starts swinging a big new sword around and suddenly he's looking for a soap box to stand on and preach to the world. Heh heh heh. Let me give you a piece of advice now that I have your attention. If you're going to kill someone, make sure you do it right the first time. Because if you only mame then with the first attack, they have a nasty way of coming back to make you regret it.- InuYasha

Me thinks your last expression was more pleasing to the eye and less menacing to the head.- Jaken
Where do you think you're going you little imp?- Miroku
Going to a funeral?- Jaken

Okay, okay. Quit blubbering.- InuYasha
I'm not blubbering!- Kagome
Fine then. Crying.- InuYasha
I am not!- Kagome
Are.- InuYasha
Not!-Kagome
Yes you are!- InuYasha
Why don't you just shut up and sit!- Kagome

The Happy Gilmore Quotes:

I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast.- "Shooter" McGavin
You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?- Happy Gilmore
No!- "Shooter" McGavin

The price is wrong... BITCH!- Happy Gilmore

The Burn Notice Quotes:

You know spies, a bunch of bitchy little girls.- Sam Axe

Now, we have a long way back to Miami. If you be good, you can ride up in the front.- Michael Westen

Know what it's like being a spy? Like sitting in your dentist's reception area twenty-four hours a day. Read magazines, have coffee, and every so often, someone tries to kill you.- Michael Weseten

A job? Does it pay?- Sam Axe
More of a If-you-don't-do-it-we'll-kill-you kinda job.- Michael Westen
Ah. I hate those.- Sam Axe

I'll take a hardware store over a gun any day. Guns make you stupid. Better to fight your wars with duct tape. Duct tape makes you smart.- Michael Westen

Thirty years of karate, combat experience on five continents, a rating with every weapon that shoots a bullet or holds an edge... Still haven't found any defense against Mom crying into my shirt.- Michael Westen

You say tomato, I say pimp.- Michael Westen

Thing is, blackmail is a little like owning a pit bull: it might protect you, or it might bite your hand off.- Michael Westen

This is Miami. Get yourself a twenty-four-year-old with huge fake tits.- Fiona Glennane
They Bore Me.- Michael Westen

Someplace where everyone is one Jello shot away from alcohol poisoning.- Michael Westen

Figuring out if a car is tailing you is mostly about driving like you're an idiot. You speed up, slow down, signal one way and turn the other... Actually, losing a tail isn't about driving fast. A high-speed pursuit is just gonna land you on the six o'clock news. So you just keep driving like an idiot until the other guy makes a mistake.- Michael Westen

I'm you girl consultant now? When did I sign up for that job?- Fiona Glennane

Sometimes the truth hurts. In these situations, I recommend lying.- Michael Westen

In a fight, you have to be careful not to break the little bones in your hand on someone's face. That's why I like bathrooms... lots of hard surfaces.- Michael Westen

Southern Nigeria isn't my favorite place in the world. It's unstable, it's corrupt, and the people there eat a lot of terrible-smelling preserved fish. I will say this for Nigeria, though: it's the gun-running capital of Africa. And that makes it a bad place to drive a passenger sedan into a crowded market.- Michael Westen

Just for the boat, Fi. Try not to break all the windows in South Beach.- Michael Westen

If you're gonna collapse on a plane, I recommend business class. The seats are bigger if you start convulsing. Although once you pass out, it really doesn't matter. - Michael Westen

Yeah, it's just better if my mother and I aren't in the same hemisphere.- Michael Westen

Spend a few years as a covert operative and a sunny beach just looks like a vulnerable tactical position with no decent cover... I've never found a good way to hide a gun in a bathing suit.- Michael Westen

I don't like stealing cars, but sometimes it's necessary. I have rules, though: I'll keep it clean, and if I take your car on a workday, I'll have it back by five.- Michael Westen

You know, you missed your father's funeral. By eight years.- Madeline Westen
The last time I talked to him, he said, "I'll see you in Hell, boy," so I figured we had something on the books.- Michael Westen

I never run around in the bushes in a ski mask when I'm breaking in someplace. Somebody catches you, what are you gonna say? You want to look like a legitimate visitor until the very last minute. If you can't look legit, confused works almost as well. Maybe you get a soda from the fridge, or a yogurt. If you get caught, you just look confused and apologize like crazy for taking the yogurt - nothing could be more innocent... Cracking an old-school safe is pretty tough, but modern hi-tech security makes it much easier. Thing is, nobody wipes off a fingerprint scanner after they use it. So what's left on the scanner nine times out of ten is the fingerprint.- Michael Westen

Don't worry about him. I told him I'd give him fifty bucks to punch me in the face - that's all he had to hear.- Sam Axe
Yeah - I'd do it for twenty. - Michael Westen

As a spy, it doesn't matter if you're helping rebel forces fight off a dictator, or giving combat tips to a third-grader. There's nothing like helping the little guy kick some bully's ass. - Michael Westen

I take 20 percent of my price, I'll give you 20 percent of the girl. -Reyes
Hostage negotiators hear that one a lot. It's funny the first few times.- Michael Westen

Jesus! Aw, I'm so sorry!- Nick Lam
Okay, stop saying that.- Michael Westen
Oh, God! I screwed everything up, bro!- Nick Lam
Seriously, stop talking. (Nick starts moaning and rocking back and forth) Stop... moaning. It's the moaning - STOP MOANING!- Michael Westen

New car.- Michael Westen
Yeah. It's a gift from the ladyfriend. I got it yesterday. It's like driving on a cloud.- Sam Axe
What exactly do you do for these women, Sam?- Michael Westen
Well...- Sam Axe
Nevermind.- Michael Axe

If you can't get through a door without attracting attention, the next best thing is to attract a lot of attention. Once everyone is looking at the door wondering what's going on, you can pop in a flash grenade and they won't see anything for a while.- Michael Westen

So you understand? You pick up the package and walk away. Got it?- Michael Westen
Yeah.- Nick Lam
You don't look at us you don't talk to us you just walk out with the video. Fiona and I will be watching to see if the kidnappers have someone there and Sam will follow in the car if he sees anyone leave.- Michael Westen
Ok. So I walk to the car.- Nick Lam
No. Nick, focus. You just walk away.- Michael Westen
You pick up the package and you leave like we're not even there.- Fiona Glennane
But you will be there, right?- Nick Lam
Yes we will be there. Ok go ahead. (Nick tries to get out of the car, but can't.) Unlock it first.- Michael Westen

When you can't win in a fight, sometimes you have to settle for making sure that if you lose, everyone loses. It works for nuclear weapons; it works for me.- Michael Westen

A good trap doesn't scare people, it makes them curious. A speeding truck makes people scatter. A slow moving truck on the other hand, makes people want to take a closer look.- Michael Westen

For any operative, stashing weapons is second nature after a while. Spies hide guns like squirrels hide acorns. You never know when you'll need some firepower, or where you'll be when you need it.- Michael Westen

Where's that box that you kept all my stuff in?- Michael Westen
The memory box?- Madeline Westen
Sounds about right.- Michael Westen
I don't remember.- Madeline Westen

How's my mom?- Michael Westen
Locked up cozy and tight with a cigarette and a shotgun. Ready to kill anything that walks through the door.- Sam Axe

I can't talk about this now.- Michael Westen
Why not?- Fiona Glennane
Because I have a hard time focusing when I'm in hand cuffs!- Michael Westen

When you're communicating in code, sometimes you just have to hope that whoever you're talking to is smart enough to figure out what you're saying. Use a code that's too simple and it will get broken. Use a code that's too complex, and you're just talking to yourself.- Michael Westen

Hey, bro, you look tired.- Nate Westen
Hey, Nate, you look clean. You shaved the ferret off your face.- Michael Westen

That'll kill you, you know.- Michael Westen
Yeah, no kiddin'.- Sam Axe
No, I mean that bucket of transfat you got there.- Michael Westen

Fiona, you were supposed to stop the car not blow it into the Everglades! What happened to shorting the ignition?- Michael Westen
You said disable, it's not going anywhere.- Fiona Glenanne

Not bad for a man in his underwear. -Michael Westen
Hey, you think that's good, you should see me without 'em!- Sam Axe

My mother's understanding of my career changes with what she wants from me. One day, she can name everyone on the National Security Council, the next day, she thinks I work for the post office.- Michael Westen

What're you doin', Mom?- Michael Westen
Makin' a salad. I'm gettin' healthy.- Madeline Westen
Does the recipe call for cigarette ash?- Michael Westen
One mountain a day, Michael. That's what my yoga instructor says.- Madeline Westen
You never leave the house. Where are you meeting yogis?- Michael Westen

Sam, I need you to come to the safe house.- Michael Westen
Yeah, let me just put on some pants.- Sam Axe
Come naked, just come now!- Michael Westen

Hey, can I borrow your car?- Michael Westen
Where are you going?- Sam Axe
Uh, just to the store to get some yogurt.- Michael Westen
C'mon, Mike. Fiona calls, whisper whisper. All of a sudden, you got to have yogurt? What's the big secret?- Sam Axe
No big secret. Just love yogurt.- Michael Westen

Doug is sleeping peacefully.- Fiona Glenanne
You gave him something?- Michael Westen
Maybe, well half of something.- Fione Glenanne

Here ya go, Doug, my lucky vest.- Sam Axe
It'll look great over my shirt.- Michael Westen
Thanks.- Doug Baker
It's a little worn, but it'll do the trick.- Sam Axe
Are those bullet holes?- Doug Baker
Yeah, I broke it in for you. Just think of it as a good luck charm.- Sam Axe
Yeah, a good luck charm that smells like Old Spice and bourbon.- Fiona Glenanne

Ah, the mating dance of the spy. It's a wonder spies ever get close enough to kill each other, isn't it?- Fiona Glenanne

Housesitter? That's a job?- Sam Axe
Yeah. These people are only here a few weeks out of the year.- Nick Lam
Okay, so do you need an application for that?- Sam Axe

Well give me a name. Mike'll see to it that the guy loses a few clients of his own.- Sam Axe
The name's Cristo. Like Madonna? The whole one name thing?- Barry
Like Charo.- Sam Axe
Sting.- Barry
Fergie.- Sam Axe
Pele.- Barry
Spider-Man.- Sam Axe
Liberace.- Barry
Crap, I can't think of anymore.- Sam Axe

I need a hospital.- Vincent
Yeah, in a second. We're talking. You shot your buddy here, Mr. Pyne. And this. (holds up gun in a plastic bag) This is a crime lab's wet dream. Mmmm.- Michael Westen
What do you want?- Mr. Pyne
In a second. I'm not done with my show and tell.- Michael Westen

Sam, don't sprinkle sugar on this bull and call it candy.- Michael Westen

Are you crying? (David shakes his head 'no'.) You're not crying? (David sniffles) Looks like you're crying. Don't, okay?- Michael Westen

So, you're helping old ladies now? Good for you, Mike. Hey, I saw a kitten up a tree on my way over here.- Sam Axe
They beat her up. Took her life savings.- Michael Westen
Well, if you put it that way, what can I say? What's the plan?- Sam Axe.

Fi, you're here.- Michael Westen
I came by for a little visit. The door was locked, so I broke in.- Fiona Glenanne
New accent? New style?- Michael Westen
Well, I'm in Miami now. I can't very well go around talking like a fricken' leprechaun, now can I?- Fiona Glennane

There's a reason why spies don't have a lot of parties. Everybody's got a history with everyone else.- Michael Westen

I have a cover I.D. for ya, Mikey. How do you like the name Peter Jordan?- Sam Axe
Would you put some pants on?- Michael Westen

In a second. It's an art.- Fiona Glenanne
No. Wiring crap into a car is not an art. It's about as subtle as hitting someone with a brick.- Sam Axe
Hitting someone with a brick takes a lot of skill. You should try it sometime. It's all in the wrist.- Fiona Glenanne
Sorry, not my style.- Sam Axe
That's right. I forgot. You only do what the suits tell you.- Fiona Glenanne
Now that's a cheap shot!- Sam Axe

Now are you seriously taking Fiona to your mom's?- Sam Axe
Not like I have a choice.- Michael Westen
Good luck with that, brother.- Sam Axe

You've been in the business for too long when you recognize the sound of a .45 calibur over the phone.- Michael Westen

I don't need a gun for that.- Michael Westen
You're no fun, Michael!- Fiona Glenanne

Asking my mom for a favor is a lot like asking a Russian mob boss. He'll give you anything you want with a smile, but believe me, you'll pay for it.- Michael Westen

Hey, I'll tell you what. If there's a situation that requires showing off your upper body and boozey flirting, you're my guy.- Michael Westen
Aw, that's low.- Sam Axe

Woah! It's been a while. He's lost a little- a lot of hair.- Michael Westen

Yeah, well next time you go Chuck Norris on some guy, don't do it in one of my favorite bars.- Sam Axe

What are you doing?- Zamar Brother
What does it look like I'm doing? I'm throwing crap at a warehouse!- Sam Axe

Mike, I saved your ass at the warehouse. The least you could do is have some decent beer in the fridge.- Sam Axe
Next time you plan on saving my ass, tell me before I go to the store.- Michael Westen

We have to be home before 2:00 because you're a thrirty-year-old guy with a curfew!- Debbie

Hey, Mikey! When you read this guy's profile, you're going to kiss me.- Sam Axe
I am not gonna kiss you, Sam- Michael Westen
Look, I'm not going to say I'll like, but you're still gonna kiss me. It's that good.- Sam Axe

Hey, are you done making the fake plastic explosive? Can I lick that?- Sam Axe
Knock yourself out.- Michael Westen

If you need a moldable explosive that makes a bang, someone with Fiona's skills can make homemade C-4 with some spackle, petroleum jelly, and a bunch of other stuff I don't even wanna know about.- Michael Westen

Nate, did you find dad's will yet?- Michael Westen
No, not yet. I didn't know you were arrested so many times. Y'know dad kept notes?- Nate Westen
Not surprised.- Michael Westen
On paper, you're a bigger screw-up than me. You stole more cars by the time you were 12 then I did in my entire life.- Nate Westen

These intelligent officers, springing up faster than Star Bucks these days.- Sam Axe

That's a fast boat. Smuggling?- Michael Westen
That's a high-performance speed boat in a crappy little hell hole of a marina. What the hell else is it gonna be?- Virgil

Yeah, Sam.- Michael Westen
Hey, uh, Mike, we got a situation here. Looks like your buddy Bly talked to my girlfriend and she's pissed. Yeah, she hit me with one of those, what do you call it? Meat tendorizers.- Sam Axe

I'm not sure if it was a good idea to give Sam the cafe. Three Cuban coffees in, his camera work gets kinda jittery.- Michael Westen
It's not the coffee. He has lady-friend problems. Now, I have to say, Sam's romantic side is surprising.- Fiona Glenanne
Not now, Fi.- Michael Westen
I'm talking about Sam!- Fiona Glenanne
And you're going to use Sam to talk about us. After. Alright?- Michael Westen
Alright. Then I promise you, if I'm not satisfyed, then I am gonna kick your ass.- Fiona Glenanne

I don't need a place to hide! I can protect myself.- Nate Westen
Yeah, blocking punches with your face. Real effective.- Michael Westen

If I lose my pension, you're going to be changing my diapers when I'm 95 and drooling.- Sam Axe
Sam, I'd never let that happen. I'd smother you with a pillow first.- Michael Westen

What are you? Some crusading cop?- Carl
No, just some guy you managed to piss off.- Michael Westen

I need to smash your counter.- Michael Westen
You need to smash my counter?!- Ernie

Call the cops in five minutes.- Michael Westen
So, let me get this straight. I'm supposed to say some psycho robbed my shop? What's your job?- Ernie
Me? I get to be the psycho. Trust me, that's the hard part.- Michael Westen

As cover I.D.s go, I prefer rich business man or international play boy to crazy thief. But if the situation calls for it, you do what you have to do.- Michael Westen

Oh boys, boys, boys. It's nothing personal, but I need you to do me a favor and leave the neighborhood.- Michael Westen
Yeah, well, why's that?- Oscar
Because it's mine!- Michael Westen

Highly flammable. You shoot me, you set yourselves on fire. But that won't kill you! The fire will suck out all the oxygen and you'll suffocate. Then, you'll burn. But first, you'll suffocate to death. Fascinating, isn't it?- Michael Westen

This neighborhood is mine! You hear me? (climbs on car and starts jumping on its roof while the guys inside scream) My neighborhood! My neighborhood! My neighborhood! THIS NEIGHBORHOOD IS MINE!- Michael Westen

I've been accused of being a major security risk. It's time I start acting like one.- Michael Westen
I know of a few Iranians coming in.- Fiona Glenanne
Woah, let's avoid people who use 'Michael Wesen' and 'gihad' in the same sentence.- Michael Westen

He's got a hell of a security set-up. He's a little paranoid.- Sam Axe
Even paranoids have enemies, Sam.- Michael Westen
You're living proof of that.- Sam Axe
What are you sayin'?- Michael Westen
Well... A little.- Sam Axe
We should go.- Michael Westen

Jesus! Oh, Jesus. I thought I was gonna puke, bro.- Nick Lam
You're fine, Nick. You're fine.- Michael Westen

Oh, 0.9 mm... I don't know what to say.- Sam Axe
I'd say nothing. Nothings good. Go with nothing.- Michael Westen

I mean, you insisted on going to aqua yoga with me.- Madeline Westen
Yeah, sorry you had to see that.- Michael Westen

The Family Guy Quotes:

You shot me in both my knees and lit me on fire. Piss off.- Brian Griffin

MOM! MOM! There's somebody in my tree house!- Chris Griffin
Yeah, and there's an annoyin' little homo yelling at me in my kitchen. Which one do you think I'm more pissed about?- Lois Griffin

The Ghost Hunters Quotes:

Yeah, I'm glad you're fucking dead!- Dave Tango (when trying to provoke a spirit XD)