Hey!

This is GregsMadHatterer coming at you live from the bloody island of Lost : p

If you didn't notice, I changed my Penname from GregsLabrat to GregsMadHatter because of SYFY'S ALICE! Amazing show, go watch it!

I was born on June 12th (Gemini Girl, Baby!)

I just want to thank you all for actually deciding to visit my profile, you're all so very sweet! As you can tell from my many stories, I'm a huge fan of Lost, CSI, Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, Scrubs, The Dark Knight, House M.D, Syfy's Alice Primeval, and Pirates of the Caribbean. And, telling from my penname, my fave CSI is Greg Sanders. My fave Lost character is Charlie Pace. My fave Harry Potter character is Ron Weasley and the twins. My fave Scrubs character is JD. My fave The Dark Knight character is The Joker. My fave Syfy's Alice character is HATTER! My fave Primeval characters are Connor Temple and Nick Cutter. My fave House characters are Dr. Chase and Dr. House. My fave POTC character is Will Turner and my fave LOTR characters are Merry and Pippin! I've fallen in love with the LOTR triliogy and I have read the books twice. I'm re-reading them for the third time now. I have finished the Harry Potter series, fallen in love with it as well, and rereading the series to see if I missed anything that led into the other books. I know, I'm crazy! I am also kingDOM815 over at Lost-Forum.net, so if you happen to know that person...that's me! My fave bands are Cold War Kids, Coldplay, Radiohead, The Beatles, The Kinks, Rage Against The Machine, The Who, Bon Jovi, Simple Plan, Death Cab for Cutie, and The Fray. I enjoy playing video games and my favorites are Kingdom Hearts & Sly Cooper. Right now, I am in college and such a terrible student because I take my laptop to class and write fanfic instead of paying attention, yet I still manage to pass those classes.

I hope all of ya enjoy my fics!

Signed,

Hatter

PS: I am now on a joined account with a co-worker of mine, Celtic-Dragon-89. We're in the process of making a House/Harry Potter crossover entitled The Curious Case of Uncle House. You should check it out at our page, TheSleepingDragons2144. Read and review please!

For anyone who has come to realize they really are in love with the Harry Potter books and are one of those crazy people who went to the bookstore a midnight to pick up a reserved copy.
...but wait, that really isn't all that crazy.

For anyone who sat up late into the night because they had to figure out what happened next.
+For anyone who is pretty sure their lives have just ended a little because there are no more books.
+For anyone who has tried casting a spell at one point in their lives.
+For anyone who was mad when Sirius died, deeply upset at Fred's death, misty-eyed about Hedwig, frightfully saddened when Cedric was killed, shocked to hear of Lupin and Tonk's death and think Dobby was quite a brave and extraordinary house elf.
+For anyone who spent time wondering about Snape, was he on Dumbledore's side, or a Death Eater? And when you read 'The Prince's Tale', you were like, 'after all this time? Always'.
+For anyone who was like FINALLY when Hermione and Ron snogged. In the middle of a war. And you knew Harry felt a little awkward waiting for them.
+For anyone who keeps seeing groups on Facebook relating to the seventh book, and realizing the majority of them mean something to you and that you should join because Mrs. Weasly IS that cool, and Neville IS a BAMF and you might really not have anything to live for now.
+For anyone who really does feel bad for Albus Severus. Seriously Harry, please don't name your children.
+You wanted a letter to arrive at your house in green ink telling you that you had been accepted into Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
+Quidditch sounds like a blast and a half.
+Every now and the you drop a Harry Potter joke.
+You are trying to cope with the fact Harry Potter is over, and realizing it is a might strange to be sad over a book. But you can't help it.
+Dude, Neville is a beast.
+The Weasly Family is just so awesome.
+You can't listen to Warewolves of London without thinking of Remus Lupin.
+You seem like a vaguely average person until someone says something about Harry Potter.
+You hoped to be as funny as Fred and George.
+You've been hopelessly distracted from your summer reading after reading the latest installment and then deciding you have to re-read the others.
+For anyone who thinks Albus Dumbledore was pretty much brilliant.
+If you've been to Kings Cross Station and seen a small piece of cardboard tacked up that says 9 3/4 and smiled because you were imagining it being real.
--Or you've seen the full platform and taken some sort of picture with it.
+You realize you think about some reference to Harry Potter practically once a day.
+Wotcher Harry.
+While you feel your life wither away in study hall, you try to numb the pain of boredom with Harry Potter thoughts.
+For people who find themselves smiling when they realize a real life situation relates so perfectly to a Harry Potter situation.
+For those of us who've been wasting our lives online reading JKR interviews and other various potter fan mania.
+For those of us who think people who intentionally spoil the book should be tarred and feathered.
+For anyone who listens to Wizard Rock and has travelled for hours to go to WRock shows.
+ For the people who sat up all night after reading the epilogue wondering, "Did Harry ever become an aurour?"
+For anyone who isn't sure what they'll do now that they don't have another Harry Potter book to get hyped for.
+For everyone who has already planned or is planning on what to do the day the Half-Blood Prince movie comes out--and it's gonna be great.
+For anyone who is in english class discussing magical realism and someone tries to say Harry Potter isn't real...and basically you can't believe anyone could say anything so heartless and heartbreaking.
+For anyone who knows the characters just as well as you know your friends--because they are. You know their hobbies, their favourite things, their dislikes, their stories, their feelings. You know them. And you mostly love them.

YOU KNOW YOU LIVE IN THE 90s WHEN...

You can finish this 'ice ice _'
You remember watching Doug, Ren & Stimpy, Pinky and the Brain, Bobby's World, Felix the cat, The Tick...AAAAAAAH Real Monsters!
You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!"
You just cant resist finishing this . . . "Iiiiiiin west philidelphia born and raised . . ."
You remember TGIF, Step by Step, Family Matters, Dinosaurs, and Boy Meets World.
You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.
You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.
You remember reading "Goosebumps"
You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.
You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence . . . not
If you remember seeing hot tub bubbles make bubbly sounds before every music video on VH1.
when everything was settled by rock paper scissors..or bubble gum bubble gum in a dish...eeny meeny miney mo...and even better daddy had a donkey inky binky bonky.
You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record your FAVORITE song of ALL time.
"Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?" was both a game and a TV game show.
Captain Planet. He's a Hero.
You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the green ranger, were meant to be together.
You remember when Super Nintendos and Sega Genisis became popular.
You always wanted to send in a tape to America's Funniest Home Videos . . . but never taped anything funny.
You remember watching Home Alone 1, 2 , and 3 . . . and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders"
You remember watching The Magic School Bus, Wishbone, and Reading Rainbow on PBS.
You remember when Yo-Yos were cool.
You remember those Where's Waldo books.
You remember eating Warheads.
You remember watching the 1st Batman, Aladdin, Ninja Turtles, and 3 Ninjas movies.
You remember Ring Pops.
You remember drinking Surge, and Tang.
If you remember when every thing was "da BOMB!"
When they made the new lunchables so that you could make pizza AND tacos.
You remember boom boxes vs. cd players.
Making those little paper cootie-catcher things, and then predicting your life with them.
You played and/or collected "Pogs"
You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet, or Nano and brought it everywhere.
. . . Furbies
Saved By The Bell was the coolest show ever!
You haven't always had a computer, and it was cool to have the internet.
And Windows 95 was the best.
You watched the original cartoons of Rugrats, Power Rangers, and Ninja Turtles.
Michael Jordan was a king.
YIKES pencils and erasers were the stuff!
All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand.
You remember when the new Beanie Babies and Talking Elmo were always sold out.
You collected those Beanie Babies.
Mortal Kombat was awesome--the game and the movie
Carebears
Gak was the coolest stuff invented.
Lambchop's song never ended.
The old dollar bills.
Silver dollars, which were cool to have.
You remember a time before the WB.
You collected all the Troll dolls
You had to read Weekly Reader's in class.
If you even know what an original walkman is.
You remember wanting to sit on the orange Nickelodeon couch.
You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"
You know the Macarena by heart.
"Talk to the hand" . . . enough said
You always said, "Then why don't you marry it!"
You remember trying to collect all 150 original pokemon cards but never could and if you did you thought you were all that!
You remember Highlight's magazine.
You went to McDonald's to play in the playplace.
You remember playing on merry go rounds at the playground.
Before the MySpace frenzy . . .
Before the Internet & text messaging . . .
Before Sidekicks & iPods . . .
Before MIKE JONES . . .
Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX . . .
Before Spongebob . . .
Back when you put off the 5 hours of homework you had every night.
When light up sneakers were cool.
When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.
When gas was 0.95 a gallon & Caller ID was The new thing.
When we recorded stuff on VCRs.
When we called the radio station to request songs to hear off of our walkmans.
When gameboy was a brick.
You did MASH to figure out your future
When you weren't cool unless you had a Starter jacket.
Way back.
Before we realized all this would eventually disappear.
Who would have thought you'd miss the 90's so much!
Post this in your profile if you remember these days . . . .
or if you smiled at one of these things

PS: RIP Heath Ledger 1979 - 2008 You will be missed :(

Movies: The Patriot, Casanova, The Brother's Grimm, Ned Kelly, Brokeback Mountain, Lords of Dogtown, A Knights Tale, 10 Things I Hate About You & His final production: The Dark Knight. If you miss Heath Ledger as much as I do and his death has affected you more than you would think, copy and past this into your profile and add your name to the list. GregsMadHatter

If you squeal like a little fangirl everytime Hatter messes with his hat in some amazing way/shape/form, copy and paste!

If you think Hatter looked most dashing when he was bruised and beaten, and hate how he cleans up at the end, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you’ve sat and wondered why the eff Jack’s hair changes color AND style after he’s back in Wonderland, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you would drop dead in the off chance that Hatter fixed that cocky, smoldering gaze on you and said something (it honestly could be anything, the friggen time of day), copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Alice should have got off her lazy butt and helped Hatter when he tried to save her from Mad March, copy and paste this into your profile!!

If you have looked up Andrew Lee Potts since watching Syfy's Alice, and found out that in his other show 'Primeval', his character wears a hat, and you squealed like a fangirl, copy and paste!!

RIP Charlie Hiernymous Pace. Very glad to see you in the Season 4 Premiere. I'm angry cuz the writers killed him off! If you think that Charlie will be back and that PB&J is here to stay and you're angry at the writers, then copy and paste this in your profile and add you name to the list. GregsMadHatter

If you think Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann--Disney's PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN-- are made for each other and that, no matter how awesomely awesome Jack Sparrow may be, he should never, under any circumstances, be with Elizabeth, COPY AND PASTE THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Tsuyu Mikazuki, WeaselChick, Revenant666, darkflame1516, AirGirl Phantom, Agent of the Divine One, pointless people of Pluto, ZeratheNightDancer, Acegik13, Ryuu-Chiyo, Akemi-Chiyo, Archangel's Requiem, Animegirl92, CSIBeauty, Black Twisted Soul, StoryDreamer, GregsMadHatter

If you think that those stupid kids should just give that annoyingTrix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, so weird is good because unique is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy this into your profile

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, Battleground Heart, Kaity the Chameleon, xX-Arianna-hime-Xx,Seppaku, Amanemanga, Rethira, -Purple Smile-, Atra Luminarium, Reine Sumabat, DragonFriend95, GregsMadHatter

If you are Harry Potter obsessed, copy this into you profile and add your name: Ga Nat Nat, Evil Older Sister, Frozenfan, Emerald Bear, Kyprioths Shadow,Goblin Jordy, GregsMadHatter

92 percent American teens would die if Abecrombie and Fitch told them it uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing their asses off at the others.

If you have ever pushed a door that said PULL or vice versa put this on your profile\

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus put this on your profile.

If you believe that preps travel in packs then place this on your profile.

If you think that being unique is better than being cool then put this on your profile.

If you are against real fur on clothing then put this on your profile.

If you have ever slapped your self on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason put this on your profile

If your friends are WEIRD (But not as weird as you) put this on your profile.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuudge! If you are really random put this on your profile.

If you approve of gay-marrigaes put this on your profile and add your name to the list. Gaara's-pandachan101,678yui-julie-and-kiki-kitten, Flying_Shadow666, GregsLabrat

If you think that i'm making you think too much then copy this onto your profile.

If you have siblings that drive yoy crazy then copy this onto your profile.

If you think that if girls should rule the world and it would be a better place then copy this onto your profile.

If you can read this message, you are blessed because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty

uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal

pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a

rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't

mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the

olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer

be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl

mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed

ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling

was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you could read that put it in your profile!

You Know You Live In 2007 When...

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years.

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screenname or myspace.

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV.

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did Lol. I fell for that bad.

If you know who Panic! At the Disco is and know that they are NOT disco...copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

If you ran up a down escalater copy this into your profile.

Just because we eat animals for food, doesn't mean we can cut them up for clothing! If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, ect, copy this onto your profile.

This is Bunny. I got him from someone else.Copy and paste Bunny into your signature to help him gain world domination.

SUPPORT THE BUNNY!

If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If you think that life without computers is useless then copy this to your profile.

If you hate homework,copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like smiley faces, then copy this into your profile:D

If you hate those irritating mosquitos giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile

If you like chocolate, copy and paste this in your profile.

Copy and Paste this into profile if this touches you as it did me... :

My name is Emma I am but three, My eyes are swollen I cannot see, I must be stupid I must be bad, What else could have made My daddy so mad? I wish I were better I wish I weren't ugly, Then maybe my mommy Would still want to hug me. I can't speak at all I can't do a wrong Or else I'm locked up All the day long When I awake I'm all alone The house is dark My folks aren't home. When my mommy does come I'll try and be nice, So maybe I'll get just One whipping tonight Don't make a sound! I just heard a car My daddy is back From Charlie's Bar. I hear him curse My name he calls I press myself Against the wall. I try and hide From his evil eyes I'm so afraid now I'm sartichokeing to cry. He finds me weeping He shouts ugly words, He says its my fault That he suffers at work. He slaps me and hits me And yells at me more, I finally get free And I run for the door. He's already locked it And I sartichoke to bawl, He takes me and throws me Against the hard wall. I fall to the floor With my bones nearly broken, And my daddy continues With more bad words spoken. "I'm sorry!", I scream But its now much too late His face has been twisted Into unimaginable hate. The hurt and the pain Again and again Oh please God, have mercy! Oh please let it end! And he finally stops And heads for the door, While I lay there motionless Sprawled on the floor. My name is Emma And I am but three, Tonight my daddy murrdered me.

If you cried in many parts of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, copy and paste this into your profile

A large percent of writers don't know the difference between "your" and "you're". If you're one of the ones who does know ands wants to slug them, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile.

If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.

.eliforp ruoy otni siht etsap dna ypoc ,sdrawkcab siht daer ot hguone trams era uoy fI

So, I got this over at Lost-Forum, and it was so fun, so I thought I might share it with you. It's called the My Life is a Musical Game. here's how you play.

1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing. The questions are: Opening Credits, Waking Up, First Day of School, Falling in Love, Fight Song, Breaking Up, Prom, Life is just...OK, Mental Breakdown, Driving, Flashback, Getting Back Together, Birth of Child, Wedding, Final Battle, Death Scene, Funeral Song, End Credits.
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool..
As soon as you're done with the game, post your results in your profile

Opening Credits - Lousy Reputation by We Are Scientists

Waking Up - We're Friends by Michael Giacchino

First Day of School - Too Bad by Nickelback

Falling in Love - First Date by Blink 182 (now how about that!)

Fight Song - Makes Me Wonder by Maroon 5 (okay...)

Breaking Up - F.E.A.R by Ian Brown

Prom - Never Again by Nickelback (okay...)

Life is just...OK - Summer Girls by LFO

Mental Breakdown - Our Lawyer Made Us Change The Name Of The Song So We Wouldn't Get Sued by Fallout Boy (I'm having a mental breakdown just typing that!)

Driving - Get the Message by Electronic

Flashback - This Time Around by Hanson

Getting Back Together - Good Times Gone by Nickelback

Birth of Child - Run Away! Run Away! by Michael Giacchino (can I just start bursting out laughing now?)

Wedding - This Ain't A Scene, It's An Arms Race by Fallout Boy

Final Battle - Charlie Hangs Around by Michael Giacchino

Death Scene - Here It Goes Again by OK Go

Funeral Song - Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah by Allan Sherman (okay...)

End Credits - Money Bought by Nickelback

Thanks to Villa over at Lost-Forum for creating the game. It's hers, not mine! Now that I've finished that, I have to begin to laugh. That was very interesting. After that last song, I would have had: I've Got A Plane to Catch by Michael Giacchino, Wonderwall by Oasis, Heaven by Los Lonely Boys, Hold On by Good Charlotte and many more!

PLEASE READ WHAT'S UNDER THIS!!

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.

Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you sometimes talk to yourself copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you hate stereotypes and think ppl should just shut up and stop POST THIS. Pick the stereotype that fits you.

I'M SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.

I'm Emo, I MUST cut my wrists.

I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.

I'm Blonde, so I MUST be a ditz.

I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed. I'm Blonde, so I MUST be a ditz.

I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be Sexy.

I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm SCOTTISH, so I MUST be a stupid drunk

I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.

I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.

I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.

I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.

I'm ATHEIST so i MUST hate the world.

I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.

I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.

I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.

I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.

I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.

I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.

I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.

I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.

I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.

I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...

I'm a DANCER, So I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.

I wear SKIRTS, so I MUST be a slut.

I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.

I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.

I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.

I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.

I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.

I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.

I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a big DICK.

I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!!

I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.

I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.

I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.

I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be gay.

I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.

I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.

I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that's how Russians roll.

I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.

I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.

I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.

I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.

I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.

I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.

I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.

I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.

I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so i must be violent.

I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.

I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.

I'm BI so I MUST think every girl I see is hot.

I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.

I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly

I'm ASIAN so I MUST be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7.

I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.

I'm MIXED so I must be fucked up.

I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.

I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.

I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA.

I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect.

I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black.

I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.

I Love SHOPPING so I must be rich.

I'm an OG so I must be Mexican.

I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.

I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.

I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.

I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.

I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.

I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob

I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.

I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.

I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon.

I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.

I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.

I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.

I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.

I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.

I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.

I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.

I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.

I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.

I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.

I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.

I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.

I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.

I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.

My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.

I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.

I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.

I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.

I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.

I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse

I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist

I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.

I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.

I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.

I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.

I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.

I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.

I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.

I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep

I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.

I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.

I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.

I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.

I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.

I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.

I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.

I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.

I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!

I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.

I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.

I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE

I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser

I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy

I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.

I CHAT; I MUST be having cyber sex.

I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins

I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan

I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion

I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.

I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.

I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.

I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.

I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.

I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.

I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.

I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.

I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.

I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED

I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast

I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish

I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.

I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.

I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.

I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.

I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s

I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times

I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.

I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.

I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.

I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.

I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.

I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.

I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.

I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist

I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake

I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems

My All Time Favorite Quotes:

Charlie Pace: You don't know me! I'm a Bloody Rock God!

Charlie Pace: Yeah, I know, I'm Bloody Scum.

Greg Sanders:I'm like a sponge, I just absorb information.
Gil Grissom:I thought that was my line...?
Greg Sanders:Yeah, and I absorbed it.

Greg Sanders: I could've been a rock star.

Sara Sidle: I know you didn't beep me for a magic trick.
Greg Sanders: Swami doesn't do magic tricks. Swami's here to reveal all of your DNA secrets.

Greg Sanders: 99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer, you swab one down, run it through CODIS, 98 bottles of beer on the wall.

Greg Sanders: You infected me with mildew!

Greg Sanders: We labrats have to do something to get through the day.

Greg Sanders: I guess I should stop trying to impress you.
Gil Grissom: That would impress me.

Charlie Pace: Hey man. Don't run. Hurley. Just, just, sit down. I wanna talk to you. Come on. Don't do what you did in the store. Ok? There's no need to freak out.

Hurley Reyes: No need to freak out? I'm trying to buy some jerky and a slushy, and suddenly you're standing over there by the ho-ho's. You're dead, what do you expect me to do?

Charlie Pace: I am here, you're being a baby.

Merry Brandybuck: This, my friend, is a pint.

Pippin Took: Anyway, you need people of intelligence on this sort of mission...quest...thing.

Gimli, Son of Gloin: I'm waisted on crosscountry! We dwarves are natural sprinters! Very dangerous over short distances!

Merry Brandybuck: You just said somethin' Treeish.

Pippin Took: The closer we are to danger, the farther we are from harm.

Jim Brass: Look what I found: A knife with blood on it.
Gil Grissom: Look what I found: Dead guy.

Warrick Brown: What are you going to do?
Sara Sidle: We're going to go blow up some bombs.
Warrick Brown: Oh, I definitely got the wrong end of this investigation.
Gil Grissom: Alas, poor Warrick.

Greg Sanders: I am the man!
Warrick Brown: Why, what'd you do? Let me guess--you ran a DNA profile on the blood from the dead guy's knuckles and got a match.
Greg Sanders: No.
Gil Grissom: You ran a DNA profile and something very distinctive popped up.
Greg Sanders: Not quite.
Warrick Brown: You made it out of bed and you dressed yourself.
Greg Sanders: No

GregSanders: I ran a tox screen on your vic. It came up Cannibis Sativa.
Sara Sidle: Grass?
Greg Sanders: Grass? So 70's, man. Sticky green, the dank, the chronic, the cush, the happy stick, wacky-tobaccy..
Sara Sidle: Wait...Granny was high?
Greg Sanders: Yup.
Sara Sidle: Granny was high?
Greg Sanders (pretends to inhale on a joint): As a kite.

Jim Brass: Well, the driver was sober. That's more than I can say for the boatload of high school kids he was driving around. Listen to some of the wonderful statements I got. We go 'errr', Dude goes 'ahhh', we go 'bam', dude goes 'wahhh'.

Gil Grissom: Hey Nick!
Nick Stokes: Yeah?
Gil Grissom: I think I found a toupee. Our vic may be bald.
Nick Stokes: Thanks. That will help me distinguish it from the other severed heads I find out here.

Gil Grissom: A Harvard professor conducted an experiment. Asked a bunch of students to watch a basketball game - count the number of times the ball was passed.
Jim Brass: Yeah? Groundbreaking.
Gil Grissom: During the game a person dressed in a gorilla suit ran across the court. Afterward, the professor asked the students if they noticed the gorilla. Fifty percent responded, 'what gorilla?'
JIm Brass: That's wonderful, Gil. If I see a gorilla, I'll arrest it.

David Phillips: No signs of sexual trauma.
Doctor Al Robbins: Thank god for small favors.

Gil Grissom: Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary,Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore...
Catherine Willows: We're up a tree and your quoting Poe. Give me something.
Gil Grissom: Quote the Raven: "Only this and nothing more."

Greg Sanders: Well, in the interests of posterity, I took it upon myself to establish provenance for the killer gloves... I mean DNA-wise. On my own time of course, of which I have precious little so that should count for something.
Gil Grissom (exasperated): Greg, why are you always doing this?
Greg Sanders: Because you make me nervous.

Gil Grissom: Gene Rayburn.
Greg Sanders: What?
Gil Grissom: Point of reference.
Greg Sanders: Uh. . .Match Game. . .Nipsey Russell, Fannie Flagg, game show network. Look, I don't have time for your humor. Ecklie's got a multiple, Warrick tells me his home invasion is my top priority and I'm still backed up on Catherine's no-suspect rape. One servant, many masters. You know what I'm saying?
Gil Grissom: Greg, this is your DNA lab. You are the master. We serve you.
Greg Sanders: Well your stuff just moved to the top of the pile.

Catherine Willows: Hey, Greggy, any luck on those blood and hair samples?
Greg Sanders: Don't insult me. Luck is for those without skill.
Catherine Willows: Spoken like a man who's never hit the jackpot.
Greg Sanders: Sad, but true.

Greg Sanders: Okay. Well, results from the fight bite boy. I had to get it from an outside lab since we're not equipped to do bacterial DNA testing ourselves. Hint, hint.

Greg Sanders: All work and no play makes Greg a dull boy.
Gil Grissom: All play and no work makes Greg an unemployed boy.

Grissom: I just got a page from James Watson.
Nick: And I got one from Francis Crick. What's going on, Greg?
Greg: Well, as you both know, Watson and Crick are the granddaddies of DNA. Without their discoveries, I'd have nothing to do all day.
Nick: What have you been doing all day?

Greg Sanders: Hey, I hear you're working on Hank's case.
Sara Sidle: I believe it's my case.
Greg Sanders: Territorial. You know, guys don't like that.
Sara Sidle: You're crowding me, Greg.
Greg Sanders: Well, I have some information that'll bring us even closer.

Doctor Al Robbins: Kamikaze Grandma.

Sara Sidle: Oh, butter that toast, Nick.

Catherine Willows: Oh, Dougie Max was poisoned.
Greg Sanders: To the max.

Jim Brass: Did you hear the one about the comedian who died onstage?
Catherine Willows: Ba-dum-bum
Jim Brass: I'll be here all week.

Nick Stokes: Now, if she grabs you, use your free hand to hold her down. Okay?
David Phillips (nervously): Okay…

Doctor Al Robbins: The answer is, the three main ways to take cocaine.
Gil Grissom: Alright, Alex... What is snorting it, smoking it, or injecting it.
Doctor Al Robbins: Very good. The answer is, normal nasal passages, clear lungs, and no track marks on the body.
Gil Grissom: Continuing this childish metaphor... What is how did the drugs get into his system?
Doctor Robbins: We'll have to wait for Final Jeopardy. (Grissom sighs dramatically, and turns to leave the room)

Catherine Willows: What are you looking for?
Gil Grissom: ...A punchline?
Jim Brass: Ba-dum-bum.

Catherine Willows: I don't have to run any tests! You cannot absorb enough cocaine through your penis to OD!
Gil Grissom: Cite your source.
Catherine Willows: I don't have a source!
Gil Grissom: That's why we did the tests.
Catherine Willows: Whatever.

Greg Sanders:...Mrs. Harpo.
Catherine Willows: Harper.
Greg Sanders: Whatevo.

Nick Stokes: Who takes a tape recorder with them on vacation?
Jim Brass: Well, I keep one by the bed just in case I dream anything useful.
Nick Stokes: Hmm?
Jim Brass: What? I can't have deep thoughts? (Nick just looks at him and Brass laughs) Just kidding.

Catherine Willows: Grissom? What do you think?
Gil Grissom (holding a fortune cookie): I think we're giving these guys too much credit. They're experts at robbing banks, not experts at concealing evidence.
Catherine Willows: Well, unless the answer's in that fortune cookie, what's the plan?

Joker: Why so Serious?

Joker: Do I really look like a guy with a plan? You know what I am? I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it. You know, i just do things. The mob has plans, the cops have plans, Gordon's got plans. You know, they're schemers. Schemers trying to control their little worlds. I am not a schemer. I try to show schemers how pathetic their attempts to control things really are. So, when I say, ah come here, so when I say that you are your girlfriend was nothing personal, you know that I'm telling the truth. It's the schemers who put you where you are. You were a schemer, you had plans and uh, look where that got you. I just did what I do best. I took your plan and turned it on itself. Look what I did to this city with a few drums of gas and a copule of bullets. You know what I noticed? Nobody panics when things go according to plan, even if the plan is horifying. If tomorrow, I tell the press, that a gangbanger will get shot or a truckload of soldeirs will get blown up...nodody panics, cause it's all part of the plan. But when I say that one, little old mayor will die,well then everyone loses their minds! Introdcue a little anarchy. You disrupt the established order and everything becomes chaos. I am an agent of chaos. Oh, and you know the thing about chaos, Harvey? It's fair.

Joker: And I thought my jokes were bad...

Joker: I took Gotham's white knight, and lowered him to our level. It wasn't hard. Y'see, madness, as you know, is like gravity. All it takes is a little...push. laughs

Joker: Do I look like a guy with a plan?

Joker: The only sensible way to live in this world is without rules!

Joker: I want...I want my phone call. I want my phone call.

Joker: Harvey, Harvey, Harvey Dent. Ohh, excuse me, I want to drive!

Joker: You look nervous. Is it the scars? You want to know how I got them? Come here. Hey, look at me. So I had a wife, beautiful; like you. Who tells me, I worry too much. Who tells me, I ought to smile more. Who gambles, and gets in deep with sharks. One day they carve her face. We have no money for surgeries. She can't take it! I just want to see her smile again. I just want her to know that I don't care about the scars. So I stick a razor in my mouth and do this... to myself. And you know what? She can't stand the sight of me! She leaves. Now I see the funny side. Now I'm always smiling! Rachel kicks the Joker away A little fight in you. I like that.

Alfred: looks at the large gash on Bruce's arm Were you mauled by a tiger. Yo ko?
Bruce: It was a dog...
Alfred: Huh?
Bruce: It was a big dog!

Harvey Dent: Any psychotic ex-boyfriends I should be aware of?
Alfred: Oh, you have no idea!

Joker: And here...we...go!

Joker: to Batman We really should stop fighting, we'll miss the fireworks!

Joker: If you're good at something, never do it for free.

Alfred: I suppose they'll lock me up as well. As your accomplice...
Bruce: Accomplice? I'm going to tell them the whole thing was your idea.

Bruce: Do you think I should go to the hospital?
Lt. James Gordon: You don't watch the news very much do you?

Joker: This town deserves a better class of criminal... and I'm gonna give it to them. Tell your men they work for me now. This is my city.
The Chechen: They won't work for a freak...
Joker: mocking his accent A freak...mocking his accent A freak...pulls out his switchblade and tosses it to some goons who grabs the Chechen Why don't we cut you up into little pieces and feed you to your pooches? Hmm? Then we'll see, how loyal, a hungry dog really is. It's not about the money... it's about... sending a message. Everything burns.

Batman: Let her go.
Joker: Ooh... Very poor choice of words!

Joker: I like this job - I like it!

Lt. James Gordon: Harvey Dent never made it home.
Joker: Of course not.
Lt. James Gordon: What have you done with him?
Joker: Me? I've been here.holds up his arms in handcuffs Who did you leave him with? You're people? That's assuming they are still you're people, and not Maroni's people. Does it bother you? To know just how alone you really are? Does it make you feel responsible for Dent's current predicament?
Lt. James Gordon: Where is he?
Joker: What's the time?
Lt. James Gordon: What does the time matter?
Joker: Well, because depending on the time, he may in one spot or several.
Lt. James Gordon: If we're gonna play games...takes off Joker's handcuffs I'm gonna need a cup of coffee.
Joker: Ah, the old good cop, bad cop routine, huh?
Lt. James Gordon: Not exactly.

Joker: You just couldn't let me go could you? This is what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object. You truly are incorruptible aren't you? You won't kill me out of some misplaced sense of self-righteousness, and I won't kill you, because you're just too much fun. I think you and I are destined to do this forever.
Batman: You'll be in a padded cell forever.
Joker: Maybe we can share one. Then we'll be doubling up the rate this city's inhabitants are losing their minds.

Joker: to police officer Do you wanna know why I use a knife? Guns are too quick. You can't savor all the...little..emotions. And..you see..in their last moments...people show you who they really are. So, in a way, I know your friends better than you ever did. Would you like to know which one of them were cowards?

Gamble: to The Joker Give me one reason why I shouldn't have my boy here rip your head off.
Joker: How about a magic trick?pulls out a pencil and sticks it upright into the tableI'm gonna make this pencil... disappear.Gamble's thug walks over to kill The Joker, who pushes his face into the pencil and kills him Ta-daa! It's... gone!

Joker: holding a knife inside Gamble's mouth Wanna know how I got these scars? My father was...a drinker. And a fiend. And one night he goes off crazier than usual. Mommy gets the kitchen knife to defend herself. He doesn't like that. Not. One. Bit. So, me watching, he takes the knife to her, laughing while he does it. Turns to me and he says "Why so serious?" Comes at me with the knife,"Why so serious?" He sticks the blade in my mouth. "Lets put a smile on that face!" And... Why so serious?

Batman: Why do you want to kill me?
Joker: laughs Kill you? I don't want to kill you! What would I do without you? Go back to ripping off mob dealers? No, no, you... you complete me.

Joker: Gambol makes a threat; Joker opens his coat to reveal setup of grenades on a string, which he starts to tug. Now, let's not blow things out of proportion here...You know what? You let me know when you start taking things a bit more seriously.takes out Joker card and sets it on the table Here's my card.

Gamble: You think you can just come in here and take our money?
Joker: Yeah.

Lt. James Gordon: That was a very brave thing you did, Wayne.
Bruce: What, trying to catch the light?
Lt. James Gordon: You mean you weren't protecting the van?
Bruce:completely oblivious Why? Who's in it?

Joker: Let's turn the clocks back. A year ago, these cops and lawyers wouldn't dare cross any of you. I mean, what happened? Did your - did your balls drop off? Hmm?

Joker: to Gambol's thugs Now, our operation is small but there is a lot of potential for 'aggressive' expansion. So which one of you fine gentlemen would like to join our team? Oh, there's only one spot open right now so we're gonna have...breaks pool cue over knee tryouts. throws broken pool cue at the thugs Make it fast.

Joker: Batman slams The Joker’s head on a table Never start with the head, the victim gets all fuzzy. They can't feel the next blow. Batman crushes The Joker's hand with his fist. The Joker gives a look You see?

Hatter: He's mad as a box of frogs.

Hatter: Why's a raven like a writing desk? The clockwork's not ticking properly. Probably crumbs in the butter.

Hatter: Did he just call me a vessal?

Hatter: Trust me, I know a thing or two about liking people and after a lot of chocolate and cream cake, like turns into 'What was his name again?'

Hatter: Do you know why they call me Hatter?
Alice: Because you wear a hat?
Hatter: No. Because I'm always there when they pass the hat, so to speak.

White Knight: Down here! Take the second left at the stairs that lead up to the third floor. Then after the double doors take the third walkway on the right over the fitness center to reception B and ask for Shela!

Rat Catcher: She's Alice! Tell him who you are!
Hatter: Wow! Really? woooo! Ratty here thinks you're Alice. Of Legend
Alice: Who?
Hatter: The last uhm, the last time a girl called Alice came here from your world she brought down the whole House of Cards. Oh yeah. Made quite an impression. Although, it was 150 years ago. It can't be the same girl. Oysters don't even live that long.

Hatter: Warning. Don't take it on an empty stomach and only one tiny little drop at a time otherwise the experience might burst your shriveled up little heart. Got it?
Rat Catcher: Got it.
Hatter: Good. Go.

Hatter: Pieces of paper? Pointless.

Hatter: Do I need a reason to help a pretty girl in a very wet dress? Oh, I see. You don't trust me. Fine! I am genuinely hurt!

Alice: No! I have a thing about flying!
Hatter: I've got a thing about bullets!

Hatter: You wouldn't have come!
Alice: You're damn right I wouldn't! He almost killed me!
Hatter: Yeah, well he actually shot me!

Connor: It's not every day you meet a potential girlfriend. (Pauses and thinks) And find a dinosaur.

Nick: This is Claudia Brown from the Home Office. She'll be coming with us.
Connor: I knew it. It's a cover-up.
Claudia: What's he talking about?
Nick: Connor never met a conspiracy theory he didn't like.

Connor: Oh, God! you know what? All my life I've wanted to be in a crime-busting gang! And now I am. So, I don't suppose you'd consider giving me a cool nickname, would you?
Nick: No.
Connor: I thought not.

Connor: If I don't come back, you can have my Star Trek: Next Generation Top Trumps.
Abby: I'll treasure them.
Connor: You know what - on second thoughts, actually, maybe you should bury them with me.

Connor: It looks to me like another anomaly, we, we should check it out.
Abby: What does Cutter say?
Connor: I haven't actually told him yet, you know, I could be wrong and I do not want him to think I'm an idiot.
Abby: He already thinks you're an idiot.
Connor: Thanks very much.

Connor: I swear on my Empire Strikes Back first edition poster, signed by Luke Skywalker and Dave Prowse.
Tom: Ooo, careful, that's invoking a sacred relic.
Duncan: Yeah, like the Bible.
Connor: Yeah, I know what a sacred relic is Duncan, I have seen Raiders of the Lost Ark.

Connor: You know, it wasn't until you got bitten that I felt that one of us could actually die from doing this. It really upsets me.
Stephen: You must have gone through hell.
Connor: Yep, it did make me think about what's important though. You know, sorts out your priorities a bit. If you get killed can I have your iPod?

(Abby shows up at the hospital as Steven is being released wearing a skirt)
Connor: Is that perfume?
Abby: I can do the girl thing, you know!
Connor: Woohoo

Connor: You mean she's been living in the past for eight years? Oh my God. However are we going to explain Celebrity Love Island to her?

Connor: See, how does Steven get all the fun stuff to do, while we get stuck collecting water samples?
Abby: He looks better in a wetsuit.
Connor: Debatable, I can do the action stuff as well, you know. I'm not just a mass of intellect

Connor: I can't do this anymore.
Nick: Come here. We need you.
Connor: If I hadn't have been involved, Tom would still be alive.
Nick: No. There's a handful of people in the whole world that know what's going on here, what we're grappling with, and you're one of them. That would've made his day. He'd have loved it. So you can't bail out now. Okay?
Connor: Okay.
Nick: Now, come here. (Nick pulls Connor into a hug)

Connor: You can fight the Dark Side mate, you really can.

Connor: Abby Maitland's love shack, number one stud speaking.

Connor: Rex! Where are you dude?
Abby: Did you think he was going to send up a distress flare or something?
Connor: He knows the sound of my voice. I'm thinking he might come running.
Abby: He's a lizard, not a golden retriever.

Connor: Rex! I swear, when I catch you, you're gonna be the first animal to become extinct twice!

Nick: Have I ever let you down before? Don't answer that.

Nick: If I don't make it back, push Lester through the worst anomaly you can find.

Abby: Okay, I'm a girl in a bar, tell me I look nice.
Connor: You look nice.
Abby: Make it more personal.
Connor: I personally feel you look nice.
Abby: A compliment, be more specific.
Connor: Well, you've got lovely legs and fantastic... (Pointing towards her chest)
Abby: (Interrupting) Er, not that specific, er, small talk, flirty just not too flirty. Yeah?
Connor: I've seen you here before haven't I?
Abby: Oh, that's good.
Connor: Your glass is empty, let me get you another.
Abby: (Laughing) I'll have a mojito please.
Connor: Two mojito's coming up. (Clicking at Rex) Barman!
(Abby prompts him to continue)
Who do you think would win in a fight between Wolverine and Spiderman?
Abby: I said flirty, not nerdy.

Connor: I thought I was gonna die then.
Nick: Well you didn't.
Connor: No, quite chuffed about that.

Nick: (To Connor) I always saw you more as R2-D2 myself.

Abby: Ow!
Connor: How you feeling?
Abby: Terrible!
Connor: Do you want me to get you something? I could run and get you a glass of water...
Abby: (Interrupting) Stop fussing Connor, I'm fine.
Connor: You know Abby, I want you to know something. If I was gonna shoot anyone, you'd so be like the last person I'd shoot, apart from my mother obviously, but you'd be way down the bottom of the list with her. In fact, I don't think I'd shoot either of you.
Abby: Can you stop this?
Connor: Yeah. (Directing the gun at Abby)
Abby: Can you move the gun out of the Abby area?
Connor: Sure.
Abby: Thanks.
Connor: I've got your back.

(Connor is helping himself to a Slushie)
Abby: Oi! I hope you're gonna pay for that.
Connor: Yeah, If you can lend me a fiver.
(Abby hands Connor some money)
Connor: Thank You, Abby.

Connor: So guys, let me get this straight. All we have to do is drag two of the angriest creatures in the known universe through a hole in time, back into ancient world where we don't know what's waiting on the other side for us?
Stephen: When you put it like that, sounds so easy.

Connor: Oh for crying out loud, how hard can it be to see a raptor in a shopping centre?

Connor: Raptor! Always thought we'd get one, one day.
Cutter: It's beautiful. (Creature destroys camera) I said it was beautiful, I didn't say it was friendly.

Nick: I'm finished with the past its just I don't know if it's finished with me.
Connor: (Whispering to Abby) Don't you hate it when people bring their personal lives to work with them?

Connor: You didn't have a clue who Leek was then did you?
Nick: No.
Connor: Okay! You're officially freaking me out. Let me get this straight you're saying that something's changed because of what happened in the Permian anomaly, like evolution has just what, altered course?
Nick: Glad somebody was listening. Do you believe me?
Connor: Alright I'll buy it.
Nick: I could kiss you Connor.
Connor: That's really sweet but maybe not while there are people watching. One thing though, how do I know I'm different if I don't know what I was like before?
Nick: Apparently some people never change.

Nick: My name is Professor Nick Cutter. Eight years ago my wife Helen disappeared, I discovered she had stepped into the past through ruptures in time called anomalies. Now creatures from the past threaten the future of the human race. There's only a small group of people who know the truth, my research team; Stephen Hart, Connor Temple and Abby Maitland and government officials James Lester and Claudia Brown. I returned from the past to find that something has gone terribly wrong and Claudia Brown has vanished as though she were never even born. I've come back to a different world and Helen and I are the only two people who know it.

Nick: Are you alright?
Connor: Yeah, never been swallowed by a giant worm before, but I suppose it's a learning experience, isn't it?

Nick: It's Claudia Brown.
Connor: I know.
Nick: Why didn't you say anything?
Connor: I know that's what you believe. Me, I've never seen that woman before in my life.
Nick: What's going on?
Connor: C'mon Professor you can't go flaky on us now. I mean it's nearly twelve o'clock and we're probably going to have to save the world again before bed time.

Nick: Connor keep an eye out if you see anything suspicious call me.
Connor: Hang on! What am I supposed to do if I do see something, talk it to death?

Connor: Here's one I made earlier. This is a palm held detector for use in the field, it's a short wave radio receiver it's got an effective range of about a 100 metres or so.
Cutter: I was hoping for something a bit more compact.
Connor: It's just a prototype so we can work on that.
Jenny: Have you tried beaming up with it yet?
Connor: Are your here to help or just be sarcastic? Cause this is a serious bit of kit.

Connor: I'd like you to meet the Anomaly Detection Device or A.D.D. for short. Actually that's probably not the best acronym is it?
Nick: Connor.
Connor: Sorry.
Nick: Breathe!
Connor: Sorry. What you're looking at is a fully integrated, graphic representation of the radio communications matrix, networking the whole of the UK's transmitters.
Jenny: Congratulations you've built your very own Sat Nav.
Leek: I believe you can get them dashboard size these days.

Abby: I'm pulling you over Connor. Just leave me.
Connor: No, I'm not letting you go. I've lost you once Abby, I'm not losing you again, okay. Come on, we can do this.
(Mer roars)
Abby: There's no point in us both dying. Just let me go. (Whispering) Let me go.
Connor: I can't.
Abby: Please.
Connor: I love you. (Pause) I am not, I'm not leaving you here.

Abby: (In the ball pool) Connor? Connor? Connor? (Connor emerges) What are you doing?
Connor: Just having a bit of a play, aren't I? I'm a massive ball pool fan!
Abby: If you wanna have ball pools Connor, now's not the time!

Abby: (With Jake) We have to get the mammoth back through the anomaly somehow, I have an idea. Look after him Connor.
Connor: What about Dumbo?
Abby: Distract it.
Connor: Distract it? Distract it? Any ideas?
Jake: Na-ah.
Connor: Me either.

Stephen: So what's the secret meeting about?
Connor: I dunno, it's a secret.

Abby: We have to tell Cutter.
Connor: But Caroline hated Rex.
Abby: That's why she took him, Connor. And to get back at you for dumping her - by text. Why isn't she giving him back?
Connor: Maybe she's so crazy about me that she's gonna hold him hostage until I get back together with her.
Abby: (Sarcastically) Really?
Connor: Maybe not.

Cutter: Connor Temple, Abby Maitland, this is Captain Becker. He's here to protect us so do what he says. (They look at each other puzzled) Unless I think he's wrong.

Connor: I just phoned Cutter. Told him he was right about his prediction.
Jenny: What did he say?
Connor: Well, his words exactly were something like... (Impersonating Cutter) Of course I was right. (They both laugh)

Connor: (Being released from jail) Oh my God! Oh my God! Thank you so much. Come here. (He hugs Jenny) So nice to see a friendly face, it's been horrible I've been going crazy in there.
Jenny: Connor, you've only been in there a few hours.
Connor: Alright, so I'm not Nelson Mandela. It doesn't mean I haven't suffered, does it?

Jenny: (Observing the Matrix) Call me stupid, but erm, couldn't we have done all this on a computer?
Cutter: This way, it's more tangible.
Connor: Makes him feel more like God, you know, the whole creation thing.

Connor: (Looking at the Matrix) I love this thing. (He begins to fiddle with a wire)
Cutter: Connor, if you touch that you could be changing the entire destiny of the universe.
Connor: I'm not going to touch it, I'm just going to... (He backs away)
Jenny: (Walking in) Woo, please tell me this all means something.

Connor: (Looking at the Artefact) I won't let you down professor.

Cutter: Listen. (Shows Connor the Artefact) This matters, I don't know why, but it does, so you have to find out what it means, okay?
Connor: Okay.
Cutter: It's on you now.
Connor: No, no, we can do this together, we've always done it together.
Cutter: No, not this time. (Cutter starts to slip into unconsciousness) Tell Claudia Brown, never mind, it doesn't matter.

Jenny: How's the head?
Connor: I dunno, might of knocked some sense into me.
Jenny: Well done today, Cutter would have been proud of you.
Connor: Yeah, and you.

Connor: You don't know how hard it is to live with them! It's like Prison Break with...beavers...

Danny: We should split up.
Connor: Split up? I'm not splitting up. Have you not seen horror films?

Knight: I am in hell.
Connor: Technically it's London, but you know, it's an easy mistake to make.

Abby: I just don't want things to be weird between us.
Connor: Absolutely! Me neither, don't want any sort of weirdness with, no weird areas here. (Abby stares at him) I'm being weird aren't I?
Abby: Yeah.

Abby: What hurts?
Connor: Pretty much everything.
Abby: Close your eyes.
Connor: Eh?
Abby: Close your eyes. Imagine a happy place, you're on a beautiful beach, and the sun is shining.
Connor: Are you there too?
Abby: Yeah, if you like.
Connor: Are you wearing a bikini?
Abby: Yes, if you like.
Connor: Water's really warm, it's lovely.
Abby: Yeah.

Fave Pairings:

CSI:

Greg & Sara - Sandle

Grissom & Catherine - Grillows

Catherine & Warrick - YoBling

Nick & Sara - Snickers

GregOC

Lost:

Charlie & Claire - PB&J

Sawyer & Kate - Skate

Charlie & Kate - Karlie

Jin & Sun - Jun

Jack & Juliet - Jacket

CharlieOC

Pirates of the Caribbean:

Will & Elizabeth - Willabeth

WillOC

Harry Potter:

Harry & Ginny

Ron & Hermione

Remus & Tonks

RonOC

FredOC

GeorgeOC

Favorite Characters:

CSI: Greg Sanders

Lost: Charlie Pace (May he rest in peace)

Lord of the Rings: Meriadoc "Merry" Brandybuck

Pirates of the Caribbean: Will Turner

Scrubs: JD

Harry Potter: Ron Weasley

The Dark Knight: The Joker

House MD: Dr. Robert Chase faints and Dr. Gregory House

Syfy's Alice: Hatter

Primeval: Connor Temple and Nick Cutter (May he rest in peace)