Icon: Because nuclear wessels are scary.

This is the part where I say something witty about me, but the truth is that I seriously have no life. My profile is living proof of that. But here are a few things about me that you should know:

-The amazing Wisdom's Pearl made a picture of my character, Sophie, from my The Patriot fic Doing One's Duty. Here is the picture! She also made a totally awesome pic of Brenda from my Gender-Bender fic. Yes, I turned Mel Gibson into a woman. What. Now.

- And Megfly also made a picture for me! SQUEE! This one's of Angie in "Save All Who Dare the Eagle's Flight!"

-I HATE being asked to review, even if it's one of my friends. I'm sorry, but that bugs me. A lot. Unless you want a beta, please don't lower yourself by asking people to contribute to a higher review count. This site is about expressing yourself; it is not a popularity contest.

-Do NOT give me the "I was in a bad mood" excuse. Just DON'T. And to top things off, please do not ask me to beta you if I reviewed and you got upset with me. And yes, surprisingly, this HAS happened a number of times before. Go figure.

-I don't review fics where the author doesn't even have the decency to acknowledge it. I don't believe for one second that you want reviews as much as you claim if you completely disregard reviews. I review three times, and if you still haven't replied, I'll be one of those annoying people that keeps you on alerts but never reviews.

-Yes, I am one of those people who gets really annoyed when people favorite my fics and put them on alert but never review (as I've said before, I only don't review if I am never replied to, and I can promise you I reply to all of my reviewers). I honestly have no idea why people can be so rude. If you favorite/alert my fic (or any other fic, for that matter), at least do the author the common courtesy of telling them what you think. Even a shoddy one-line is better than nothing at all. If you favorite my fic but don't review it, you obviously don't like it as much as the Favorites list would imply. It's gotten to the point where I refuse to read the work of people who have me on favorites/alerts and never review; if you can't be polite to me, why on earth shouldn't I return the "favor," as it were? It's not a matter of politeness; it's a matter of rudeness.

-I change my icon so frequently that it should be illegal. I can't really explain this; I just have an addiction. I go on icon rampages and change them almost daily. So don't try to identify me by my avvie, because it will most definitely not be the same one.

-So, some time ago, I was in this total hoity-toity-I-only-read-dead-boring-classics-because-I-am-superior-to-everyone phase, and if I ever reviewed/PMed you, I really have to apologize for that. Looking back, I'm not proud of the supercilious things I said to people, and I'm certainly not proud of the way I treated some stories, especially when mine were in dire need of a reality check. So, I just wanted to say that I'm really sorry about being such a (for lack of a better word) bitch. Also to assure you that I've gotten off of my high horse and I like to think I'm pretty down-to-earth now.

Some nifty and true little facts

-John Lennon said, "Christianity will end, it will disappear. I do not have to argue about that. I am certain. Jesus was okay, but his subjects were too simple. Today we (the Beatles) are more famous than him." He was shot 6 times.

-Tancredo Neves said that if he got 500,000 votes for the presidential office of Brazil, not even God himself could remove him from office. He died the day before he was inaugurated.

-Billy Graham visited Marilyn Monroe and told her that God had sent him to preach to her. She said, "I don't need your Jesus." She was found dead a week later.

-In Brazil, a group of drunk friends were going out for a drive. One of the girls' mother said to her, "My daughter, go with God and may He protect you." The girl replied, "Only if He rides in the trunk, 'cause inside here, it's already full." A few hours later, the car was in an accident that killed everyone. The car was crushed, save the trunk, which, investigators say, should have been smashed. Inside was a crate of eggs, not one of them hurt.

-Christine Hewitt said that the Bible was the worst book ever written. She was later found burnt in her vehicle beyond recognition.

96 percent of teens in the world today don't stand up for God. If you are one of the 4 percent that does put this in your profile.

Things of Somewhat Importance

You may have noticed that I took down all the quotes; this is because I felt that they were wasting space and no one really cared and apparently that sort of thing is "schmuckish." So, they're gone. Instead, I will be filling up that space with fanfic-related things, just in case you're one of those lovely and amazing people who keeps me on Favorites or Alerts!

Mary-Sues aldn a'ierjg aaah g;ihg'o;oijn jlj /lj/tjiil/k/jll/kijijOjn'i a'ga I beg your pardon; I was wiping the vomit off of my keyboard. Mary-Sues are rampant, and if someone tells you your OC is a Sue, YOU MIGHT WANT TO LISTEN. Heck, we all write Sues once in awhile; the difference between a decent writer and a Suethor is that a decent writer won't get upset when told her character is a Sue. Listen to me, Suethors: Perfect characters are no freaking fun. Putting yourself into a fic is not much better. Putting yourself into a fic and perfecting yourself is the absolute worse thing you could do. There are Mary-Sue litmus tests all over the place; use one. I beg of you. And don't blow up at people who suggest your character is a Sue; they are trying to help you. Why? Because most of us don't like seeing our favorite fandoms littered with these creatures.

Twilight AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Do NOT talk to me about Twilight. Just don't. I will probably end up throttling you. I don't like the books, and yes, I DID try to read them. Just don't talk to me about Edward or Bella or Jacob in a positive light if you value your life.

Beta I am currently betaing two fics: When Irish Eyes Are Crying by Velvet Storm and The Court of Godless Souls by CrimsonRose456. Both of these fics are PHENOMENAL, and I am NOT just saying that because I beta them! I am truly honored that these two ladies asked me to beta. So please read these fics and be amazed. And since summer has started, I can beta more fics now! Just PM me with the general information and I'll get back to you as soon as I can!

Pairings Um, yeah. You know how, erm, certain people claim that they "invented" or "started" a pairing? Yeah...I would just like to say that that is pure BS. You're not the only person in the whole wide freaking world that thought of Dick and Jane getting together, okay? Yes, some people make certain pairings more popular than they would be otherwise, but please don't ever be egotistical enough to claim that you invented a pairing. That's like if I said I invented the idea of dipping Oreos in milk: I'm not the only person who thought of it and I sure as heck don't have the right to claim I started it.

Fanfiction Terminology So, as I'm sure you've noticed, a lot of people have started referring to slash as kawaii. Um...why? Yes, I know, it's Japanese, but WHY does that make it so kewl? It sounds more like a kiwi or Hawaii, not a type of pairing. And frankly, it sounds extremely immature and slightly insulting. If you can't handle typing the word slash, you probably can't handle writing a slash fic. kthanxbye.

Mein Freundin So, I have some really amazing friends here in the fanfiction community. No, seriously! Gaslight helped me make the transition from a completely disgusting Suethor to...whatever I am today. She was the first concritter I ever had and really helped to get me off of my unbelievably high horse. We've had loads of conversations since then, all of which I enjoy thoroughly. She is an AMAZING writer! So go click the freaking link already and be glad you found some real literature. Tadsgirl is like a second mom to me and her girls are SO sweet! I've known her for, like, ever, and she's been such a rock and source of inspiration for me. Seriously, everyone who knows her loves her. And then Opaque Opal is just made of epic win. Like, I love this girl so much it's slightly disturbing. Forestwater is slightly, okay, really scary if you don't know her, mostly because she tells the truth and doesn't stand for being two-faced, but now she's like the snappy friend that only we put up with because we love her. And I mean that with all the love in my heart, my dearest pineapple. Megfly is easily becoming one of my new favorite people. I really love the fact that we're having such awkward conversations and she hasn't told me I'm weird yet. Or that I'm obsessive and I need to get a life. Because if I talked to anyone else about miniature Harold Brides, they would not be as enthusiastic as she is. So basically, this girl is awesome. And finally, the most important person on this site (to me): IT IS A CINNAMON ROLL!! She's my cousin. And I love her. And I love embarrassing her, because she's like the little sister I never had. So mess with her and you die. Love ya, sweetie!

What I'm reading (for leisure): An '80s teen romance Gaslight gave me, and Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Again. And Gone with the Wind.

What I'm reading (for school): Nothing anymore.

6/12/09 Drama Final and LAST DAY OF SCHOOL!

6/15/09 I publish my WSS fic "And the World Went Away."

6/29/09 I publish my first Lion King fic "It Tingles."

7/4/09 Happy Fourth of July!

7/4/09 My HS fic "Baltimore Sound" turns exactly one year old!

My Fandoms

Chronicles of Narnia Love, love, LOVE this series! I've started and deleted I-don't-know-how-many stories, but thankfully, I did manage to publish one that I wasn't ashamed of. My favorite character is Edmund, and no, it's not because he's "hawt." I mean, please, I could possibly get arrested for that. Shudder. I despise slash/incest/Suspian ships, or fics that follow movie-verse (Aslan, yes, Ben Barnes is hot, but SHUT UP already). Yeah, I said it. Those kinds of fics violate C.S. Lewis's writings, if you ask me (although you probably didn't ask me). My favorite pairing is Lucy/Tumnus. Yes, I AM one of those people. I also love the Shasta/Aravis ship (because I don't like the name Cor), Jill/Eustace and the occasional pairings with an OC. Mostly I like the fluffy stuff about the Pevensie children or Jill and Eustace, and that's probably what you'll mostly see me writing.

Greek Mythology I'm incredibly interested in Greek mythology, especially in regards to Cassandra. I most likely won't write much for this section, but if I do, it will probably be about Cassandra. And while we're on the subject of Greek mythology, I would just like to ask the writers over there: What is with the excess of Hades/Persephone? I mean, yes, I think they're an interesting pair and all, but why so many fics about them?

Hairspray Since this was the first thing I ever saw on Broadway, it holds a special place in my heart. I've earned the title of the Queen of Darla, because I am hopelessly obsessed with Becca Sweitzer's portrayal of her in the movie. It's a smaller part, which gives me all the more to play around with! I also ADORE Amber/Corny! I also like Amber/Brad sometimes, and most anything with the Council Members. I won't go into all of the pairings I like/dislike, since there are so many, but I like most Council Member fics. I also have to say that the people there are SO AMAZING! I was taken aback by the sweetness everyone had when I first joined, and although we're a lot quieter now, we still love each other!

Heroes I LOVE this show, but because there are always new twists and such, I probably won't write a lot of fanfiction for it for awhile. I'm a huge fan of the Sylaire ship, and I probably won't read much else. Paire disgusts me, as does Petrellicest. Family sex is NOT hot.

Hunchback of Notre Dame I like the book AND movie, although the movie portrays some characters...a little more to my liking. My absolute favorite fic that I wrote is a parody of the Mary-Sues that seem to be so rampant on that fandom. Opaque Opal, who is amazing beyond words, wrote a hysterical and completely true fic that can be found here.

The Mummy I love the first movie, very much like the second and despise the third (speaking of which: What is with the Alex's-twin-in-the-third-movie plots?). I could read about Jonathan all day, so long as he's well-written, but I'm more than open to Rick/Evy and Alex fluff and stories set in Ancient Egypt. Ardeth is okay, but I couldn't agree more when Rick says, "You: lighten up." I'm not entirely sure about the Imhotep/Nefertiri fics; I think it's possible, but it needs a good story behind it and a reasonable explanation as to why Imhotep turned to Anck-su-namun.

The Patriot A fandom I haven't written for in a long time, but given the fact that I had the most AMAZING APUSH teacher EVER who inspired me so much, I may visit again. That and the fact that Cornwallis's men apparently shot the toe of the ancestor of a citizen in my area. Plus they marched by what is now a redneck beauty salon in my area. In any case, I've made some wonderful friends over there who, thankfully, don't mind that I know the entire movie by heart, including the battle cries.

Titanic I finally posted a chapter-fic here instead of all those oneshots, yay! I often find myself writing somewhat dark oneshots on a whim, which doesn't make much sense, considering I'm always in a happy mood when I write them...hmm. Most of my fics are also posted on Anne Blair's website. I highly suggest you check the site out!

Troy Yet another fandom I haven't written for in a long time. The only fic I've written for over there is Ilium. It is chock-full of things that make me wince today and wonder, "Was I really this bad of a Suethor?" The answer is yes, once upon a time. Oddly enough, however, it still gets favorites every now and then, and I like to keep it around for sentimental value, to see how far I've come. So go on and flame it if you wish; believe me, I know it's bad and a blatant Mary-Sue. I wrote it, after all. I just like to remind myself that no matter how badly I think I write now, it's a heck of a lot better than how I used to write.

West Side Story How do I love this fandom? Let me count the ways. Not really. I do LOVE this movie, though, and I'm going to be helping out with costumes for the summer production, in which my drama teacher is Glad Hand! I love just about any pairing in this fandom, although I don't deny that I would LOVE to see more Anybodys/A-Rab fics out there and some Maria/Baby John. Action/Anita fics would be stupendous too.