In The Land Of Updates(8/19/08): It's always amazed me somewhat when I get such enthusiastic responses to my fanfiction, but this is the first time I've actually gotten a filk for it. My good (and equally psychotic) friend Nimoru, upon discovering that I'd finally updated Eye Of The Beholder, sent me the following in a review. She thinks it's terrible, I found it flattering and extremely amusing (I'm rather way too much of a Python freak, anyway).
Anyhow. To be sung to the chorus of Spamalot's "He Is Not Dead Yet."
"I am not dead yet, I can make weasels go insane!
I am not dead yet, the badger's strength shall swiftly wane!
I am not dead yet! No need to sigh and yabber
No need to read other fics, 'cos there's another chapter!"
The Bio:
My LiveJournal, "Carrots Of The Pirabbean," open to any and all. No personal pictures, but there are shots of everything from sparrows to the stuff I saw at ShopRite, as well as random babblings about my very weird little life or whatever else happens to enter my mind. I occasionally post updates about new fanfiction, and even put up some of my original work.
http://lycaenion.livejournal.com/
Random Quotes:
"You really need to autograph everything you give me, cos really, someday you'll be in a little white straightjacket with zero mobility and you shan't be able to do so."
~My friend Christie, who is really just as deranged as I am.
About Me:
Sex: Female. Dunno why anyone really needs to know this, except that if you don't know me 'tis a bit odd being addressed as a man. Yep. (Because c'mon, putting the answer down as "Yes" kind of lost its humor value after the first 5,000 people posted it.)
Grade: High school junior in a couple weeks. Glod, I feel old. Where did the time go?
Hobbies: Reading. Writing. Laughing maniacally. Knitting. Anything Monty Python-related.
About Redwall Alter Ego (I don't claim to be the first, but after I put this up it seems like almost every Redwall fan has one. SOMEONE probably had it before me):
Name: Arawolf Beechclaw
Species: Pine marten
Sex: Still female (do you really think I would change it? To quote Elaine from Seinfeld: 'The female body is a work of art. The male body is so...lumpy.')
Traits: Hyper, cunning, ferociously short-tempered, loyal to friends, and perhaps unsettlingly obsessed with guillotines, chocolate, and sharp, pointy objects. A pacifist when it comes to all-out war or fighting over pointless things, but she will take the first possible chance to kill her some Mary Sues.
Is Featured In: My first parody Sue-bashing fic, Arawolf Beechclaw, Sueslayer Extraordinaire, and its counterpart/companion/thingy by my friend Kelaiah, Linwe Seregon Swifteye. Also the Valentine's Day special of storiewriter's Surviving The Sues, and that hilarous little bit by warrior4.
About My Fics: I've decided to use my fanfic account for my Redwall-based works only(as of July 10, 2007), as well as any other series I may decide to write about in the future.
My demented little Harry Potter and the Autobus series was removed, because it was a weird inside joke in the first place and only the friend who inspired it would really get it anyway (although strangely, some other random people found it funny). If you really want to read it, it's on my website.
I do not write or read Pirates of the Caribbean fanfic, despite my obsession with it. I'm sure your stories are good, inventive, etc. I just don't want to read your female self-insert (or even honest OFC) shagging my Captain Jack Sparrow.
I do not read Harry Potter fic, mainly because I avoid the fandom here like the plague. This can be summarized in two simple words: MALE PREGNANCY. No. No. NO. All these authors need to be rounded up, deported... and forced to sit through intensive classes on the anatomy of the human reproductive system. The things I've seen... (quivers) ...are not and will never be biologically possible, magic or no.
Full Summaries Of Fics:
Eye of the Beholder: After a tragic accident, Russano's son flees Salamandastron as his family collapses around him, and is immediately swept up into unimagined trouble. A young weasel, saved from certain death, lives peacefully at the Abbey of Redwall, but he is tormented nightly with strange dreams. When he recieves knowledge of his destiny, things begin to fall into place... and fall apart.
The Shadowtide(COMPLETE!): A young traveling stoat, relatively good-hearted but with a past he'd rather forget, is captured by the hares of Salamandastron after a battle. Then fate decides to step in. Unsure what they want of him, he is frightened until it is decided that he will join the mountain's secret army: The Shadowtide, a group of "vermin" who act as spies and assassins for the hares, blending into attacking hordes. He quickly makes friends and enemies, begins to piece together the army's puzzling history, and is trained to fight, but is still unprepared when he is caught up in one of the most brutal wars Salamandastron has ever known. Along with his companions, one young stoat must fight treachery, the eventual destruction of his army, and a ferocious warlord like no other...
Shadow's Edge: Fail. May someday be redone and a lot better, but I didn't even think out the plot, just relied on a couple new characters and about five chapters with little but badly-written gore. This would be why it's no longer here on the Pit.
Arawolf Beechclaw, Sueslayer Extraordinaire: Companion fic to Linwe Seregon Swifteye, with Sue-bashing galore. When a horde of Sues, led by a pair of reformed vermin-Sues out for revenge on Redwall(there's a paradox for you, eh?), attacks the Abbey, it is in the paws of one PMSing, hyperactive teenage pine marten to save Redwall-and in fact all of the world of Mossflower- from an angsty, sparklypoo, badly-written fate. The Abbess of Redwall, the Abbey Champion, the infamous Marlfoxes, and the alter egos of Kelaiah, Adverk, and, if I can get them to do it, Laburnum Steelfang and SnuffSnuff, must aid our mood-swinging heroine in her mighty quest. If you're a Redwall fic author and would like to appear, please PM me. Ara could use some more backup.
Sue-bashing Oneshots (don't deserve quite as long a summary, but I wrote them so here you are.):
One Night In A Storm: A surprise gift for Kelaiah, where his Sues Linwe Seregon Swifteye (that's the abbreviated version; if you want to know her full name read Arawolf Beechclaw or his Sue-fic Linwe Seregon Swifteye) and Luneaiia Purplegaze, Lantur's illegitimate daughter, have a chance meeting during some nasty weather (you have no idea how limited the list of synonyms for "storm,' "wind," and "rain" is when you really need it) and learn of each other's horrible pasts. Much angsting ensues. EnSUES. Heh. Pun.
The Destiny Of Icecloud Lunareye: Probably not the best thing I've ever done, but people still found it amusing. I was pleased. Written to calm my rabid Harry Potter obsession for the time being and continue working on Arawolf. Basically poking fun at the Sue-cliché of some "Chosen One" reformed vermin.
Really bored? Wolf is here to help.
The "I've Got A Jar Of Dirt" Remix Video
Dying of boredom? Check out Wolf's Photobucket account if you've really got nothing better to do. Contains (not exactly good) fanfic art, and random snapshots of stuff, including my pets, nature, and a caterpillar named Norrington II: http://s205.photobucket.com/albums/bb144/LadyWolftheStrange/
Chapters of your fics that I have proofread/beta read can be found here:
http://www.freewebs.com/ladywolfthestrange/proofreadings.htm
In conclusion:
But why is the rum gone?
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