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mobile edition| Megan Sleevewillow |
Author has written 14 stories for Animorphs, Moulin Rouge, Misc. Books, Pirates of the Caribbean, Harry Potter, Lost, Star Wars, and Mummy. Hi. I'm Megan Sleevewillow. I am a twenty-one year old theatre and history major. This is my profile page. It's cobbled together with stuff I've collected over the years. Enjoy! Hobbies: Making it to the bathroom in time and generally being a lethally concentrated dose of awesomeness. I know that's not much, but hey, I'm double majoring. Favorite Books: Favorite Movies: Favorite TV shows: Favorite Bands/Singers: Favorite Male Celebrities: Favorite Female Celebrities: Miscelaneous Objects of My Affection: A little shout out to people that put me on their faves and author alerts list: THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! YOU ARE ALL SO AWESOME! YOU NEED ANYTHING, i.e. a fic to cheer you up or something, E-MAIL ME!! And for the peeps on my Fave Authors' List: Current Projects Future Projects Favorite quotes from Pirates of the Caribbean, the Curse of the Black Pearl: Jack: Who made all these? (Will points a pistol at Barbossa) Jack: When you marooned me on that godforsaken Island, you forgot one thing mate: I'm Captain Jack Sparrow. Favorite Eddie Izzard Quotes (Courtesy of Melanie): 'If you're choking in a restaurant you can just say the magic words, "Heimlich maneuver," and all will be well. Trouble is, it's difficult to say "Heimlich maneuver" when you're choking to death. ' "Pol Pot killed one point seven million Cambodians, died under house arrest, well done there. Stalin killed many millions, died in his bed, aged seventy-two, well done indeed. And the reason we let them get away with it is they killed their own people. And we're sort of fine with that. Hitler killed people next door. Oh, stupid man. After a couple of years we won't stand for that, will we?" 'Cause, "Cake or death?" That's a pretty easy question. Anyone could answer that. "Cake or death?" "Eh, cake please." "Very well! Give him cake!" "Oh, thanks very much. It's very nice." "You! Cake or death?" "Uh, cake for me, too, please." "Very well! Give him cake, too! We're gonna run out of cake at this rate. You! Cake or death?" "Uh, death, please. No, cake! Cake! Cake, sorry. Sorry..." "You said death first, uh-uh, death first!" "Well, I meant cake!" "Oh, all right. You're lucky I'm Church of England! Cake or death?"' 'But with dogs, we do have “bad dog.” Bad dog exists. “Bad dog! Bad dog! Stole a biscuit, bad dog!” The dog is saying, “Who are you to judge me? You human beings who’ve had genocide, war against people of different creeds, colors, religions, and I stole a biscuit! Is that a crime? People of the world!” “Well, if you put it that way, I think you’ve got a point. Have another biscuit, sorry.”' "I wanna live 'til I die, no more, no less." 'And the National Rifle Association says that, "Guns don't kill people, people do," but I think the gun helps, you know? I think it helps. I just think just standing there going, "Bang!" That's not going to kill too many people, is it? You'd have to be really dodgy on the heart to have that. Guns don't kill people, people kill people, and monkeys do too (if they have a gun).' "My sexuality is straight transvestite or male lesbian. It seems we are beyond the idea that I am gay and hiding it. If I had to describe how I feel in my head, I'd say I'm a complete boy plus half a girl. I don't seem to have the sixth sense that women have or their stronger senses of taste and smell. Gay men can also have it but straight men don't." 'I definitely have breast envy. When teenage girls were saying 'I wish I had breasts', I was thinking the same thing.' "I can go from blokey to girlie in 15 minutes and then I'm out the door. But that's the fastest I can do it. Becoming a woman takes work." Favorite Quotes from Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest: Jack: You know... Lizzy... I am... captain of a ship. And being captain of a ship, I could in fact perform a... marr-i-age. Right here. Right on this deck. Right...now! Jack: I want my jar of dirt. Elizabeth: (About the thump-thump in the chest) It's real! Elizabeth: This is bar-baric! This is no way for grown men to settle - ! (Seeing she is being ignored:) Oh! Fine! Let's just - pull out our swords and start banging away at each other! This will solve everything! I've had it! I've had enough of wobbly-legged, rum-soaked... PIRATES! Pintel: (About everyone yelling and fighting each other on the beach:) How'd this go all screwy? Quotes from stories I have written in my Notebooks: "And what did we learn from the War of the Orcs?" "You see, Aldrea, your mother is called moose because of her stubbornness and the noises she makes while sleeping." Other quotes...from somewhere beyond time and memory... "There's a nickel in there?" -- Ben "Megan, that hole should be just for you." "Whats the word for go?" "Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes." -- I forgot "Megan, I made a new story. It's called the Hunchback-- -makes the shape of a butt- --of Notre DAMN!" -- Santi "We're smarter than your average chicken, you know." -- Me during English when our teacher started reading spelling words the SUPERINTENDENT gave her. Examples: I, a, can, but, which. (I am totally serious) Arwen: One is queen, after all. -pause- Not as big a queen as you, of course. Sam: This IS wrong. So very, very wrong. "Nothing’s wrong, I just wanted to ask you something, in private." "Mormon this!" -- Cameron (Don't ask) "My shoulder itches. I think I have herpes." -- Benji Madden at the Good Charlotte concert I went to in 2003. "It's illegal in all 54 states!" -- My brother-in-law Alex while I was staying with him and Melanie before Christmas 2003. "The big 1-5 Nikki!" -- Me as I hold up one finger from each hand that emphasizes I am saying eleven, not fifteen. "We're gonna be ok! We have a Summer Sausage!" -- My brother Erick when we were stuck in a four foot snowdrift on New Years' day 2004 in his car along with four other vehicles down the same stretch of road. "Everyone hates me cuz I'm paranoid!" -- Cameron "'I can tell by the way you draw you love to act.' What the heck, Lisa?!" -- Me, reading one of Lisa's stories. "I'd do the whole Fellowship and then some!" -- Um...Me. Yup... "If I wasn't an actor, I'd be a secret agent." -- Elijah Wood "OH GOD! NOT THIS BLOODY DAMN ISLAND AGAIN!" -- Jack in "Umm, run that by me again?" It's a really good Jack/You fic. Yes, I read those. GO ME! Legolas: Your friends are with you, Aragorn. "I want to wear the kilt!" -- Jake in German I when we were trying on clothes and learning their names. "How do you say cross-dresser in German?" -- Ty in German I when Jake got up in front of the class that day. "Let's tie Lisa up, put her in a sack, beat her with a stick, throw her in the river, and then send her to the Shire to be raped by Hobbits!" -- Me at lunch one day. "Where's the cream filling?" -- Me, at lunch the same day as I ate a Jell-O Cup with good whip cream on it. "Megan, you really don't have anything better do to with your time, do you?" "The extent to which this colossal number is inflated by sites dedicated to swooning appreciations of the looks and long blond hair of Orlando Bloom cannot be precisely calculated in the average life span." -- A rough guide to LOTR. "I feel less blond now and, er, smarter!" -- Keira Knightley "They're a bit like chicken fillets, really, and you can hit people with them." -- Keira Knightley, talking about her prosthetic cleavage. "Few other griefs amid the ill chances of this world have more bitterness and shame for a man's heart than to behold the love of a lady so fair and brave that cannot be returned...but in me she loves only a shadow and a thought: a hope of glory and great deeds, and lands far from the fields of Rohan" -- Aragorn "...Before I knew it, its 5:00 a.m., I'm drunk, and I'm back in the house." -- Billy Boyd talking about Oscars 2004 on the Late Late Show "Photography, painting or poetry those are just extensions of me, how I perceive things, they are my way of communicating." --Viggo Mortensen! "Oh no! One of my spikes is falling! Hair people, I need gel pronto!" -- Benji Madden! "I don't think it was a dog at all..." -- Hal Holbrook, "Mark Twain Tonight!" "I don't tap. The Music is within me." -- Emily while flutes were practicing for competition in 2004. "I think that God invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey." -- Hal Holbrook, "Mark Twain Tonight!" "The world will be ruled by roaches and spam. And styrofoam. Roaches, spam and styrofoam." -- Friend Michelle AKA Chelle "The Roaches will live in the styrofoam... but then later on will be killed off by eating the spam and the world will recreate itself and there will be fosilized spam where the new race of people will look and wonder, just what the heck the world was like before them." -- Michelle "Well, Lily, you better get going before your friend finds us and removes my penis by magic. Speak of the devil!" -- A Sirius from a Yahoo! RP Chat. I'm proud to say that he was talking about me. "...I hate you Sparrow." "Yeah, well I'm Harry Potter's girlfriend and he taught me how to use a cell phone!" -- Lisa Legolas: I swear, if you weren’t immortal and more powerful than me, I’d kick your ass. -- MST fic, www.veryverygay.com Legolas: You should really stop making fun of her, and tell her about the Elves. Lancelot: There is a large number of lonely men out there. "I just schooled you on how to catch your horse!" -- Me, after Margo gave up on getting her horse to come to her, I didn't, and I "caught" her. Wat: It's called a lance. Hello-o! -- From "A Knight's Tale." "I'm liquid AND ice!" -- Me. "Awww, he's making her a sandwich...HE'S GONNA KILL THE SANDWICH!...I'm just focused on the sandwich right now...She totally ruined the sandwich moment!" -- Me, watching The Prince and Me. "You must enjoy your peepee." Geoff: And you are? "Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be. " -- George Carlin "Biggie size me!" -- Cameron "Listen to me, little door! You are endangering my King's Wife with your stupidity. If you do not open immediately and without further discussion, I will twine myself through your lock and throw you down twisted and broken, and the goblins will put in a new door that understands its obligations." -- Charm, from The Hollow Kingdom "Es macht mich hocht!" -- Frau Bochman, nee Andersson, when she pretended to be sniffing markers. "You're eating...Leaves?" -- Jessica at lunch when I was eating spinach while on a diet. "Diet. Keyword: DIE." -- Me, discussing said diet with my mother. "...Bondage! This sounds good!...Did I just say that out loud?" -- Me, reading the description of a certain...ahem, fic. "With all rumours, they're best enjoyed with a pinch of salt and marijuana cookies. Or maybe that's just us." -- an updated page from www.kkwavefront.org" "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!" -- Dunno "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." -- Thomas Alva Edison "You're a resident. No one will care if I kill you. Now open." -- Neela from ER while examining Pratt after the river accident. "Burnt out by drought. Washed out by flood. Ate out by jack-rabbits. Sold out by the Sheriff. Still here."-- President Gordon B. Hinckley talking about his age, and how it pertained to a sign that said this. "My left hand sucks up all the water, and the other one is always dehydrated and pissed off at the other hand for sucking up all the water." -- Alex talking about how when he washes his hands, his left hand is dryer than the right. Always. "...And what did the Red Scare do to Americans?" "Somebody cares: Nobody!" -- Alex "Insanity: a perfect rational adjustment to an insane world." -- R.D. Lang "...But besides that I love drawing, reading, and writing stuff, and telling people to piss off (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!)" -- Holly, from her Yahoo! profile. "The hunger strike starts now!" -- Jorge Garcia on Leno. "I have friends who kiss me on the mouth now...The men who kiss me aren't my friends anymore...They're my bitches." -- Jorge Garcia on Leno. "See, I told you not all statues have wieners!" -- Someone on the bus trip to the Circus Circus Adventure Dome during Skills USA State 2005. They were commenting on statues outside a gentlman's club. I wanted to check in before you left on your trip... remember my heart is with you and seriously...stay away from those European Men! (The rumors are true, kiddo... they're unscrupulous horn-dogs!) -- My sis Lana in an offline message before I went to Europe in the summer of 2005. Me: -Strokes her cute addy book- Chelle: Boo! "Megan, there's things Alex and I do that Jesus shouldn't see!" -- Melanie, talking to me about taking a picture of Jesus Christ off of her and Alex's bedroom wall... "Man Gryffindor still doesn't have any Prefects." "Have I taught you NOTHING since the moment you bowed to me?!" "Maru doesn't like Dio either: She thinks he's an egomaniac. Where does she get these ideas?" "Dio is SUCH a pimp. He's gonna be sleeping with most of your female staff, you know that right?" "Replied! Megan's being annoying...Ahh, so it begins." Alex: Where'd you get that tortellini? "I'm just pulling your feet." -- Alex during the said stay. "TRUST THE TOAD!" -- Will Grimm, 'The Brother's Grimm.' 'After five years of studying while Meg was on a sugar high she had learned to ignore pretty much all noise...And Meg singing Willy Wonka at the top of her lungs.' -- Mo, who plays my chara Megan's best friend Nymph in my RPG. "Well, let's get out of here before he wipes us down!"-- Alex, when Margo and I helped him and Melanie move in October 2005. A diesel came into the gas station we were at at breakneck speed, almost hitting the Durango, and then the driver jumped out to grab a squeegee. "Do you know how hard it is to watch my soaps while you're ranting and raving?" -- My mom when I was talking about random things nonstop due to the temporary insanity caused by my American Government Quarter Project. "There's one good thing about staying up till one in the morning. It makes you feel more insane!" "I'm not judging you." -- Me. :D "To love another person is to see the face of God." -- Victor Hugo "My mom thinks I have ADD, but I don't think so. Oh look, a llama! I love pandas!" -- Stephanie "Sometimes I think I'm a genius. Other times, I'd rather not talk to myself." -- Stephanie "It was like all slowed down and I was like, 'Whooooah!' but I couldn't stop it." -- Stewie Griffin from Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story. "Hello, my name is Wilford Brimley and I have diabetes. It hurts me to pee and causes me to be short with my family. I can't sleep at night. The other day I stubbed my toe and took it out on the dog. Two weeks ago I ran out of vanilla ice cream and struck my wife. Then I find out that my wife died six years ago. Who the hell did I hit?" "Arrgh me maties!" "To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world." -- Unknown "RPGs are role-playing games where you sorta act out things like movies and stuff online. Like in this one, it's Star Wars and I'm C-3PO." "I feel like you're judging me. Are you judging me, Matt? Are you? Are you?!" "We're both still up - our lives are pain. That is all." -- Antony, one night when we were up in the wee hours of the morning working on quarter/school projects. "You worry me sometimes. But then I just hit my head really hard against something, and everything's right again." -- Me. "And here comes the boss while they are still in bed together. Absolutely terrible..." Antony: I am making several characters, based on people I know! Because they asked! "I'm in a dark place. -Tears- My heart is cold...Oh, there's a light switch. I'm better now." -- Melanie while her and I were talking on the phone. She also says lots of other funny things, but I laugh so hard that the oxygen leaves my head and I can't remember anything. "It's like a theme park...OF DEATH!" -- Me while my dad and I were watching House of Wax. "DEATH FROM ABOVE!" -- Chelle. "I want to be that pole." -- Holly, after sending me a picture of this guy and his tongue getting personal with a pole. "Sometimes it takes a crazy person to see the truth. If so, I'm a freaking lunatic." -- Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report Ashley (Looking in her scriptures): Where's Moses? "Remember that rash I told you about? Well, I got the test results back today. Gonorrhea. Sounds sexy." -- Me to several people on their Myspace pages. "The--the whojamaflibber." -- My beloved Grandma! "Is it Heroine or Cocaine?" Antony: You seem to be ROFLing a lot. If you keep falling off your chair onto the floor and rolling around you're going to hurt yourself. Me: Emphasize the crazy people\ Me: Argh, I must sign off... "Frodo, what the f-- are you doing?!" -- Stephanie, speaking of Elijah Wood in Sin City. "Eww, wiener germs." -- Me thinking to myself after a boy came back from peeing in the bushes on the band bus ride back from California in 2006 and he ate a tortilla chip out of a bag of tortilla chips I was eating. "Don't tell me what I'm doing; I don't want to know." -- Federico Fellini "'Ello Sue! I've got legs! (Hits them with his hands) Do you like bread? ...Well I've got a fresh loaf! (Whack!) Gotta go! (While running away, in a small voice) I love you!" -- Eddie Izzard, speaking of adolescents fancying one another, and what they actually say/do to one another about it. "Megan, you should lie to your friends, not your brother." -- Erick, my brother! My fave one at that! "You know what's awesome? Everytime I gag when I throw up, my stitches open up a bit. If I really wanted to, while I'm gagging, I can stick a finger in there and tickle Halczia! Ahh...mother-daughter bonding...isn't it wonderful?" -- Melanie. "How do you know my name?" "...the Kraggen!" "You ran over whose dog with a cemetery?" -- Karlee on my trip to Europe in 2006. "You did WHAT in the parking lot with WHO for HOW many jellybeans?" -- Something recited many, many times on the Europe trip in 2006. "DIE UNGLAUBENLITSCHEN!" -- Karlee, attempting to say 'The Incredibles' in German on said trip at a French ferry (yes, Orlando Bloom) terminal. "So, why are you a wegetarian?" -- Karlee to Markus, our Austrian Guide, who said most of his v's as w's. "Did you enjoy your wisit to the Vatican?" -- Markus "Markus said we needed to go to the bathroom." "Tomorrow I am going to decide to not eat something unless it falls out of a tree." -- Herbert, my French Homestay brother, during a conversation about veganism and people's eating habits. "You do not like McDonalds? ...Are you sure you are American?" -- Herbert. He was SO FRICKING FUNNY! "My bladder is screaming for your mercy!" -- Melanie...I'd rather not explain this one. "If I taste my own breast milk is that a form of cannibalism?" -- Melanie...ditto. "You got me sick! That is the last time I ever make out with you while you're sleeping!" -- Melanie...Do I even have to write 'ditto'? "Let's do it when she dies! I promise I won't break her or sell her on Ebay!" -- Alex speaking about stuffing Smapdi, Melanie and Alex's dog. "...as soon as you get here I'm going to break your legs and chain you to the futon." -- Melanie "I'm just a panda bear. Sezzy lil' panda bear and I'll dance for you if you gimme a quarter." -- Ben! "Cucumbers. They are green. And are home on salad. Live in the moment and always carry a fork. Llama." -- Ben! "I am NINJA! Unless there's a pineapple nearby. Then...I'm the PINEAPPLE PRINCESS! So...Yeah. Now you know." -- Ben! "I can't stop eating all these quarters! Why did I decide to buy two ten dollar rolls today and then break them open and spread them all over my bed? ...I jingle when I walk. Owww! Those quarters didn't hurt going in, but coming out was a different story!" -- Melanie! "DANTE AND MEGAN ARE GONNA GET IT ONE WHETHER TOM LEAVES OR NOT!!1111!!@@222@2@22!!1!" -- -Sigh- Me... "You smell funny! Not funny ha-ha, but funny EEEWWW!" -- Me...Once more. "If you are the Cheese Queen, then I am your Cheese King. Quick! Let us run away and elope and make cheesenips together. ...That sounded dirty." -- Chelle! "Your mom!" "Oh. I don't know if mom told you, but last week one of the lights above Halczia's changing table fell on her head and left a little bruise. She got me back today because she head butted me when we were playing." -- Melanie in an offline message to me. "Adam, the police officer says you need to drink more." -- Jamie Hyneman, MythBusters. "I reject your reality and substitute my own!" -- Adam Savage, MythBusters. Jamie: So what's in these things? Jamie: Adam doesn't know it yet but he's digging his own grave. Adam: I wouldn't say Jamie's an evil genius. -- Mythbusters Ben: You could so smuggle so much into the country in that thing. Adam: Let's PILLAGE!! (Enters the pirate obstacle course.) Adam: I think this is the strangest position I've ever been in on this show. Me: HOLY CRAO "LAY OFF ME, I'M STARVING!" -- Bill impersonating a person that I cannot disclose the name of. Me: I could totally see Professor X doing drunken Karoake at the wedding reception. Me: She's trying to be different...All "I don't like you Sparrow." Though given the chance, she'd plow that till next January Dain: I'm going to die! "WHAT THE HELL?!" Dain while we were watching Will Turner make out with Elizabeth's knee. "I like you. You're soft." -- Bill about me, while he was inebriated, the lush. "I can't help it, I wath born that way!" -- Christina, Bill, and I whenever we feel like it. "Great, now the carpet's gonna be drunk!" -- Christina after she accidentally spilled wine on her carpet. "You got to give it up to God, brah!" -- Christina, impersonating Dog Chapman! "Cracker says what?" -- Christina. :D Christina: So how do you like Hamburger Surprise? "I like Megan for her evil laugh and her general disdain for the human race." -- Bill "She can run pretty good...It must be the Mexican in her." -- Melanie, talking about my niece Halczia. "I like money." Alex speaking to a Salvation Army bell-ringer during Thanksgiving 2007. "I wear a lot of black. I'm worried I might be Emo...or Spiderman." -- Bill on his Myspace! "Here it is New Year's Eve and I could give a rat's ass. Sure, I could go party, but I hate clubs. They're just a useless excuse for people to drink and rub up against each other because people are so repressed with their sexuality that they can't do it sober because they need something to blame their true behavior and feelings on!" -- Melanie! "...there's really no point for me to make a "resolution". I think any resolution I have made for the past few years has been to kill people, so yeah." --Mennay New Year's 2008! “What ze hell is zat?” -- Harry, Chris' uncle, in The Adventures of Christiana Thomas when he first meets Pearl. "Whoo, I'm glad he suits me. There's a lot of sad truth in his hatred for Man." "And Queen Boudicca was just a...barbarian bitch." -- Professor Albritten, History 105, Freshmore Year. "You don't be showin' your ankles!" -- Professor Klemp, Theatre 100, Freshmore Year. "...And now Emperor Diocletian was just a prick. Don't write that on the exam, but he was a prick." Professor Albritten again, History 105, Freshmore Year. "Boy, I will slap the ugly off you!" -- Chelle portraying Prince Nuada in a chat-box of the Hellboy RPG "Lol, I wanted him to say something poetic. That's what came from it." -- Chelle about above quote. Me: The image of Nuada sipping coffee...XD Nuada: I gave you a chance to live demon, it will not happen again. Angel of Death: -wishes she could attend (the BPRD Christmas Party). Christmas Parties are fun xD "What would happen if you wept tears of maple syrup? Would people drag you to iHop, depress the hell out of you, and then wipe their pancakes on your face? What if you cried tears of syrup, and were also kitten-handed?" -- Platy in her LJ. "I definitely may or may not have been sprayed by a skunk." "We had asian noodles things left over from the last meal and I made some chicken broth from those hard cube things, threw in two eggs, noodles and a dash of soy sauce and heated that bitch up!" -- Chelle. XD "He just wanted the kimono back, damnit!" -- Dr. Walker in History 300 in Spring 2009 while discussing the movie Rashomon. "Dry toast isn't very good." "You should have said yes, jumped through the passenger side window, licked him and then as he peeled out of there with you hanging on, you should asked him if he liked fish and blue paint. Then when the three state chase finally ended after you guys robbed a store, you declare love to one another, hold hands and drive off a cliff only for the car to turn into Starscream and you jet outta to the moon where you fight moon zombies and aliens. But then that's when you realize, you don't really love, love Doug look-alike but still you enjoy his overall presence so you two say your goodbyes, you leave Doug look-alike to forever pine for you and you head back to earth t live your life as a wanted vigilante where boys and the occasional girl fanboy/girl quite heartily over you. "That turkey looks like it's from the fifties. Seriously. It looks worse than Stalin's mummy after Gorbachev was done eating the skin off of it. Me: I like it. Better than eating dryer lint. "There's a movie of the Brothers Karamazov, and you won't believe who plays Alyosha: William Shatner." "Shakespeare's rolling over in his grave." -- Joey (I think) in Theatre 450 Sophomore year when three girls were performing their Romeo and Juliet scene as Benvolio, Mercutio, and Romeo. "My name is Lynn L--, and I'll be playing the guy whose name starts with an 'M.'" -- Lynn in the same class, same day, and said performers. She was playing Mercutio "'please multi chara or anything jesus.' Wait ... you RP with Jesus? O_o" "You saw him hit me, so when I kill him, I can claim I was abused!" "Grow a pair, Foster." "Edward, I know I said I would reply to the Sabbath thread this weekend, but I'm a terrible person and you and my brother are locked into mortal combat with spoons. So there you go." -- Myself as Annabel (Resident superhero/overall good person) to her partner in justice Edward in Pendulum Swing. "Now you're putting words in my mouth. Just because I randomly bust into your workshop and yell "I CONQUER YOU IN THE NAME OF FISHMEN EVERYONE!" doesn't mean... uh anything." -- Chelle as Abe, directed at my tech chick Tabby. "WOman." "SHE CAN SPIT ON YOU TO HEAL YOU! NO DON'T WORRY, IT TASTES GOOD BITCH!" -- Chelle. XD "I'm debating on drawing something for each others admin pic in the sidebar. I thought about doing like a symbol/animal/thing Abe, Frankie and Evadne are associated with. I got fish for Abe, a bat for Evadne but grumpy!bitch doesn't come in animal form for Frankie." -- Chelle in her LJ. I adore her. ' “But, you see, I’m no longer married and that doesn’t essentially mean I cannot buy my ex wife jewelry, but,” he cleared his throat. “It’s a perfectly logical assumption since I do wear my ring on my left hand though tradition says I should either wear it on my right or take it off completely.” '“O-okay. Thank you ma’am.” Foster leaned forward to watch the retreating figure of the woman from where he sat on the floor. “I promise not to steal anything either!” He called after her. “Not that I actually do. I’m not that kind of a person but… okay.”' -- Foster once more. He's cooler than you. "I'm going to kill everyone in the world, take all their money, and go away." -- 'Aukai Almeida as Ubu in Nevada Rep's Fall 2009 production of Ubu the King. "Now we're in a cave." -- 'Aukai as Ubu in Ubu the King. "Canada is just America's hat." -- Drew to Candadian Mitch during rehearsals for Ubu the King. "Who watches the Watchmen? ...Batman." -- Derek in my acting lab fall of Sophior year. "There is an old Georgian proverb that an idle man takes this (referencing to a very long quilting needle) and puts it in his balls." -- Teah, my costuming professor in fall of my Sophior year. "I saw you save the boy from a spear." "I kinda just threw my hand in the air like I was fist bumping God... and it was awesome." -- Chelle "Grrr...why must guys be so idiotic? And why do girls let them walk all over them and control them like they are little children? Oh the stupidity!" "Can a Confessor confess another Confessor?" -- Me while watching Legend of the Seeker with Melissa. "Jake just confessed that bird!" -- Me while watching Avatar. "Now they're going to live together in Africa like it's some GD hippie commune." "That's a really big box." "I would plow that. And then plant seeds in him. And nine months later he would bear my children in a most fruitful harvest. "(I) just wrote Frankie punching a bull in BPRD. I repeat: Frankie. Punched a BULL. In BPRD. LAWLZ!" Me: (Showing a pic of Keira Knightley leaving the Comedy Theatre during the production of 'The Misanthrope.') Keira Knightley is SO PRETTY! "Angela: I've been thinking about what you said, and I must say. I can decipher a lot of s, I mean honestly, I work at Loomis. I can list ballistics off the top of my head no sweat. I can calculate downrange trajectory and terminal impact. But in 4 days time, I cannot figure out what the f you posted. Congratulations, you have stumped me!" -- Erick on his Facebook. "I think the amount of fun that I had tonight should be illegal. On the other hand...I might have a bruised face. And I smell like peppermint." "I've been telling you Margo's a liar for fifteen years, Mom. Thanks for finally listening to Jamie about it." -- Myself to my beloved mummy about my little sister. "I don't even feel like I have a relationship with that child, but the tumor and I are really tight." -- Mel from work in February 2009 when she was pregnant with her son. She also had a fibroid in there too. "You should know this one because you're all religious and sh-t." -- Melissa before reading me a riddle. "At least you're not nailing a stewardess..." ""Shelleen? The Mean Bean? First on the Scene? With paper compiled into a Ream? Always a valuable playah on the Team? Likes to sew up her Seam? And let off some steam? And eat ice Cream?" -- Me on my friend Shelleen's Facebook. I am so cool. Melissa: I never got in trouble for tattling. "I think that Kenneth Branagh is pretty hot, actually, when he's shirtless and covered in amniotic fluid." -- Me after watching Mary Shelley's Frankenstein for Core Humanities in Fall 2009. "I am nekkid because I DO NOT NEED YOUR APPROVAL. Also, it's payday." -- Me on Facebook. "And the Godfather says, (In a deep, gravelly voice) "I'll send Guido." And Guido goes off and your problem is solved, it's in a coffin." -- Professor Hartigan, Spring 2010, describing private jurisdiction in the middle ages. "I want Professor Snodgrass on "Return to the Secret Garden" to tell Lizzie, "There's no such thing as magic!" and then slap her." -- Me. :D "I just yelled "DOUG JONES!" and it was so intense I hurt my tear duct. I wish I was joking." -- Me on Facebook. "My new laptop + afghan of undisputed glory = most epic gift combo EVER." -- Me on my twentieth birthday. "I love you. Don't be dead. Because then you won't be living. And I don't want you to not live. 'Cause that's just not cool." -- Stephna on Facebook. "If we were physically and mentally linked like Nuada and Nuala, I'd gladly stab myself in the gut to stop you! I say that out of love. Expecto Patronads!" -- Bill on Facebook. "If my dad knew we were walking down an alley, he would kill me." "I'm single-handedly dismantling the feminist movement one statement at a time." -- Me in the office after talking to one of my bosses about how I wanted to be a housewife after I graduate from college. "I have no soul. And I'm fine with that." -- Me "Don't forget your Metamucil!" -- Meleigh, bless her. "All you missed was Alex and Arturo yelling 'Vanessa!' at the top of their lungs and embarrassing her." -- Mennay describing Graduation 2009 which I missed back home. "I'm on ur facebook, stalking you stalking..." -- Sylvia from work. "I was just informed that Erick was sleepwalking around the house nude in an adamant search for cream cheese. O_o" "I was all calling you and you did not answer, so I went into your room and thought you had died on your bed, so I just turned and left. Did not want to contaminate the crime scene." -- Melissa about me going to bed at 7:30 at night. "I have witnessed Erick and Melissa playing Wii together, and it is one of the most amusing yet profanity riddled things I have ever had the pleasure of watching." -- Me Arkins: BPRD sucks, evil is more fun! "I JUST ALMOST KILLED MYSELF WITH A BINDER CLIP I'M SO EXCITED RIGHT NOW." -- Me on Facebook to Chelle when she posted in an X-Men RPG we joined. "I like throwing some random Nuada at the board. You're welcome Mei Mei." "Barely legal and my goodness, he is a cute little boy! I want to pinch his cheeks." "Your insanity knows no limits, nor no bounds. THANK GOD." -- Antony :D "WAS HE NOT RAISED IN A HOUSE WITH COMMON MANNERS? OH WAIT, I REMEMBER, HIS PARENTS LOVED A DRUG CARTEL MORE THAN HIM AND HE'S A NATURALIZED CITIZEN OF CANADA! SILLY ME." -- Me to Chelle about a character that molested my own character. DO NOT WANT. "Her mind was her own, that's where she kept all her porn and list of childhood fears and current address." -- Chelle as her character Mac. "I WOULD GO GAY FOR YOU. YOU AND KEIRA KNIGHTLEY. YEAH." -- Me to Chelle. XD "Next time C meets NoSee, he should insist on being called "Sock Juggler", claiming it is his code name, and that he must always and at all times be called "Sock Juggler", working that phrase into conversation as often as possible." -- Someone on Bad Role Players Suck in response to a post I did about a character that insisted everyone call her by her codename. Repetitively. "I posted like someone who lays fence for a living. Bith." -- Me “You couldn’t wear shoes for this?” Norrington asked, looking at her bare feet. "I am straight as spaghetti (the following had a strike through it) till it's heated up." -- Chelle on my LJ after I told her my mom asked if she was gay because of our conversations on Facebook. XD Oh Mommy, I luff you! Me: I want to rip this apart mercilessly and mock it for some reason. :\ And by some, I mean no reason. But I won't anyway because Doug Jones told me to be a good girl, and that is now what I strive for. Chelle: I dunno, it's late so I make crappy decisions when it's late. "Yay! "I just spilled milk all over my bathroom counter. Don't ask." "I'm picturing Voldemort sobbing in a corner because Harry won't date him." -- Me "I have never spoken to a slightly sauced Lisa... until two minutes ago. What?!" -- Me "I may or may not have just been hit on. And if I wasn't... I was being pumped for information that could lead to being hit on." -- Me "I totally stubbed my toe on a gun tonight and I didn't even FLINCH. I am that hardcore." "I totally just probably broke the sink." -- Me "I'm kind of concerned that there is a rake, a shovel, and sledgehammer in the ladies bathroom at work." -- Me "Wow. Your sister has some SERIOUS issues... Like being a total retard." -- Stephanie, after she was informed that Margo made my mom take her to the ER one hour away late at night because her boogers tasted like pork. Not even kidding. "I am currently prone to fits of giggling due to a two hour insomnia jam session with Chelle that occurred between midnight and two a.m. last night. Feels good man. Feels good. IMMA WEREWOLF WITH GUNZ!" -- Me "I just got WAAAAAAY too excited when she saw that Chelle posted for Angel and then Foster. Seriously, Melissa asked if I was ok." -- Me "The folical equivalent of Chuck Norris was just killed." -- Matt in the Tudors RPG the day that JDuds' shaved his beard. Me: I just got this in my head, "I like a little snausage every now and then too, but sometimes you just gotta go for the taco." "Never thought I'd be reading about horrible X-Men RP and then suddenly getting a gun boner. The internet is a weird place." -- The player of a mutant dubbed Jetson-son of aforementioned X-Men RPG. "I just sent you three hammers, twenty-three drills, fourteen paint buckets, and eleven bricks. You're welcome." "I am from the the American southeast, where men are burly and strong and women frequently faint on account of the vapors." -- Someone in a post on customers_suck on LiveJournal. "Perks are actually one of the only reasons I still bother to turn up for work. While my co-workers are in meetings discussing why the business is going bankrupt, I put office supplies in the boot of my car." -- David Thorne on 27bslash6.com "I'm sitting in the waiting room waiting for Jared to get his wisdom teeth yanked." "If I were Lady Macbeth things would have gone down way differently. For one Sam would be too busy being raped to be killing people." -- Melissa on FB commenting on my status about us watching Macbeth with Sam Worthington playing the title character. "My dad is MIA. To make up for the lack of a father figure, I have ordered nachos." -- Me while waiting for a good long while with Erick and Melissa at a bar for my dad. “I'm a supporter of gay rights. And not a closet supporter either. From the time I was a kid, I have never been able to understand attacks upon the gay community. There are so many qualities that make up a human being... by the time I get through with all the things that I really admire about people, what they do with their private parts is probably so low on the list that it is irrelevant.” -- Paul Newman "WHOOOAH -- Five minutes to places." "You shroompf ze zing -- You shroompf it." -- Dutchy in Is He Dead? Baron O'Shaugnessy --" "Ten yards if Belgian lace and a wedding dress never hurt a man." -- Millet, Is He Dead? "I couldn't possibly buy a painting from a painter that hadn't passed on. It's a problem of value, you see." Chelle: BRB, I need to hit my brother real fast. "You'd be surprised how many e-mails I get a week that start with, 'Yo prof, did we have some reading this week?' and I'm like, 'YO! CHECK THE SYLLABUS!'" -- Professor Schoolman in Spring Semester 2011 Medieval Mediterranean History. "I just saw a guy with strong calves and my skirt got shorter." -- Me to Lanie, making fun of the fact the Tudors thought strong calves were uber sexy. "You get half your junk from your mom and half your junk from your dad and it fuses together and makes you." -- Professor Schoolman discussing genetics. "I should be in bed, but instead I'm here. ...That's actually how most of my life can be summed up." -- Me "Yeah, I am pretty smoove. Don't worry, though. I'll only give you my charm at like, 50%. I don't want you going all star-struck on me like Bella staring at Eddie in full sunlight. And I promise I won't sneer like him either. As if sparkling is something horrible. Bish, please. Five year olds would worship you." -- Vic, an RPing buddy. "Terry Goodkind opened his own store and I want to buy a shirt but I can't figure out which one!" "...And she has to go to night school, and she's really intrigued by the teacher, and I think he's gonna turn out to be a werewolf or something." -- My mom describing the plot of the book she's reading. XD Wills: OH GOD ISABEL VS TMORE. Can't you two just %^$o)%# SHARE?! Why do you put me through this! Tea: I WAS CORRUPTED 10 SECONDS INTO MY FKAC MEMBERSHIP. Patrick: Why Superman isn't Batman: 1: Unlike the Dark Knight, Supes is a symbol for others, a light in the darkness to inspire others to greatness. 2: Superman is the Big Blue Boy Scout - he has an unyielding set of morals, uncompromising faith, and never backs down. 3: For all his superhuman abilities, Superman's greatest ability is to protect others - something we can all emulate. Batman, for all his humanity, sulks in the shadows. And finally #4: Superman has Lois Lane. 'Nuff said. "What makes a super hero "super?" The Oxford American dictionary defines super as "especially, particularly." We can then surmise that a "super" hero is one that is especially heroic. Now we ask ourselves "what makes a person heroic?" The Oxford American dictionary defines heroic as "Having the characteristics of a hero or heroine; very brave." Therefore, based on these two definitions, we ascertain that a super hero must be "especially brave." What makes a person brave? The definition of brave is "Ready to face and endure danger or pain; showing courage." Superman is, for all intents and purposes, nearly indestructible. Conventional weapons, most villains, and even high explosive missiles barely phase the guy. His only weakness is kryptonite. If a bad guy doesnt have extreme strength, Superman's only fear is that green rock. Therefore, Superman only shows true bravery in such cases that the Villains are armed with Kryptonite or are gods. Batman, on the other hand, CAN be damaged by, well... anything. Bullets, knives, high explosive missiles. When he enters combat with Villains who have any of these, he is in serious risk of dying. And Batman is equally susceptible (arguably more so) to the gods that Superman fights. Therefore, Batman is more ready to face and endure danger and pain than Superman, making him moreso "especially brave" therefore making far more "super heroic" than Supes, therefore making him the greatest fictional character of all time. Boom." -- Mitch Bottoset on the subject of Batman vs Superman. Boom indeed. "I may be a minor, but I am a 58 year old online male predator at heart." -- Mona on FKAC. "It's an acquired taste. Like life." -- Erick Me (As we leave for dinner in the middle of Children of the Corn): Now I'll never know how it ends!" "I have got to tell you, when you hit Calvin in the face instead of just gently tapping him like he expected, it was one of the funniest things I've seen in my life." "What that guy doesn't know is that I only have two modes: sleep and kill...and I ain't sleepin'." -- JJ "This is like a twenty-person cast of Waiting for Godot." -- David Fenimore when upwards of twenty people were waiting for Ben Crystal to arrive at his surprise party -- and he was late. XD "In eating a small crumb of rum cake, I think I just effectually punched God in the face." -- Me "My Maori is a little rusty... but I believe it means 'Hello, welcome,' and 'Don't fuck with us.'" -- Dr. B, History of Theatre I Spring 2012 explaining the haka. Latest News -- You can find my LJ at megansleevwillo.livejournal.com I'd just like to say that no matter what people say or think about my country, or who the president is for that matter, I am proud to be an American, and always will be. I am living in Reno and attending university. ~Megan~ | |||||||
1. The Adventures of Christiana Thomas » reviewsChristiana Thomas, Chris for short, is the Quartermaster of the Black Pearl. Being the quartermaster of that certain ship also includes many adventures that would send sane people screaming for their mothers. Set after "He's a Pirate." AUPirates of the Caribbean - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 28 - Words: 225,863 - Reviews: 120 - Updated: 5-22-10 - Published: 6-25-04 - Complete2. The Lost Sister » reviewsA young woman shows up on the O'Connels' doorstep saying that she is Rick's sister. Is she for real? Please read and review, and remember, I appreciate constructive criticism, not flames.Mummy - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Family - Chapters: 10 - Words: 22,549 - Reviews: 32 - Updated: 4-30-08 - Published: 2-23-08 - Complete3. Behind Blue Eyes reviewsA slightly random thing I thought up while working a boring eight hour shift and I needed something to entertain me. Songfic featuring Lord Cutler Beckett!Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,318 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 1-3-07 - Complete4. I Pray For You reviewsA Songfic using Big and Rich's I Pray For You. Carth has problems dealing with Revan's absence, and uses something his wife did when she needed comfort.Star Wars - Rated: K - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,965 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 10-10-06 - Carth O. & Revan - Complete5. What would CJS Do For a Klondike Bar? reviewsIndeed, what would he do for a Klondike Bar?Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,406 - Reviews: 12 - Published: 6-21-056. Relations reviewsRemember what Charlie had said about, "Having relations with a woman he didn't know, then having relations with another, and then watching them have relations?" This is an elaboration.Lost - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 288 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 3-2-057. He's a Pirate » reviewsAU after the Curse of the Black Pearl. Will and Elizabeth married and had a daughter named Ali, but pirates stormed Port Royale and took both Liz and Ali from Will. It doesn't look like he'll ever see them again, but then a certain captain shows up...Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Family - Chapters: 12 - Words: 27,485 - Reviews: 50 - Updated: 6-25-04 - Published: 9-1-03 - Complete8. What Would Lord Voldemort Do for a Klondike Bar? reviewsWhat happens when the Dark Lord needs a Klondike Bar and can't get one?Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 749 - Reviews: 25 - Published: 6-15-049. The Bronze Eyed Girl reviewsBasically, a fairytale/fantasy. not much, just a one shot, one chapter story.Misc. Books - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,918 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 8-15-03 - Complete10. Until the End Of Time! » reviewsAfter 2 years, Christian rescues a girl who is Satines' little sister and- Guess what!- Satine is still alive! PG for the naughty words. Finished!Moulin Rouge - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 10 - Words: 9,277 - Reviews: 43 - Updated: 8-6-03 - Published: 6-19-0311. ANDALITES? » reviewsMegan and Toby investigate some Green smoke. What they find is A Mr. T in the form of an Andalite and LOTS of other Andalites too.Animorphs - Rated: K - English - Adventure - Chapters: 4 - Words: 1,951 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 6-21-03 - Published: 6-2-0312. ALL YOU NEED IS DRUGS! Uh, Love, yeah thats it reviewsOk, I made this up when I was sick and the only thing that made me better was medicine...drugs, not the illegal kind. I made it up and I think its funny.Moulin Rouge - Rated: K+ - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 277 - Reviews: 17 - Published: 6-17-0313. Ear Infestation » reviewsTHE Kiss Sequel I promised. Megan finds out about a plan to infest everyone in the school, and if the Animorphs don't stop it, they're history...Animorphs - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,106 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 6-2-03 - Published: 5-16-03
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