I have a deep-seated penchant for distant-future science fiction. The tenets of my literary code of honor dictate that I be punctilious in keeping my stories grammatically and syntactically correct and free of profanity and sex; though the latter two are implied occasionally for the sake of realism (nothing explicit). I am intransigent in my proclivity to utilizing "school words," at least on occasion. I strive to keep a healthy amount of realism in my literature, so most of it displays action, violence, suspense, mortality, et cetera. The TV series 24 has influenced my work, as well as Star Wars writer Michael A. Stackpole. I do hope you enjoy my stories!

Twenty-four years old, nondenominational Christian, Texan.

My current major project is completing the Totality trilogy, the latter half of my Hover saga. It will not, however, likely be the final installation of the Hover saga. These stories are based in the Sonic universe but deviate quite far from the original storyline and structure. They center around the harrowing adventures of an adult Tails and his wife, my original character Kaolin.

Action, suspense, and grit. Give'em a read!

Hover Above (will be rewritten)
Hover Beside (will be rewritten)
Hover Beside: The Mercia Incident [minor story] (will be rewritten)
Hover Beyond (will be rewritten)
Hover Totality: Dawn (will be rewritten)
Hover Totality: Escalation
Hover Totality: Termination

I would like to advise caution when reading some of my earlier stories, such as the ones based on Super Mario and the crossovers. They are some of my first literary works and are thus poorly written, so please do not mistake them as being the pinnacle of my writing abilities. They are mostly here for archival purposes and may be removed and/or rewritten later.

I will be revising (or completely rewriting) the first three or four Hover stories (or five if Mercia Incident is included) for the sake of quality and coherence, as I now consider them to be rather poorly written. Updates will be posted as they come.

Table of Contents:
Profile Updates
Nuke's Bulletin
Upcoming Stories
Other Fanfic Projects
Extended Bio
Illustrations
Cookout's Life in Hyperbole
Extended Story Summaries
Copypasta Stuff
Credits

"Isn't sanity really just a one-trick pony anyway? I mean all you get is one trick, rational thinking, but when you're good and crazy, oooh, oooh, oooh, the sky is the limit!" - The Tick

Profile Updates
(updated semi-regularly)

1-10-12
Bulletin update

12-30-11
Bulletin update

12-13-11
Bulletin update [major]

12-12-11
Bulletin update

12-5-11
Bulletin update

--==={ Nuke's Bulletin }===--

1-10-12
I decided to delete three of my earliest stories due to embarrassingly poor diction (some Sonic/Mario stuff). As for Chapter Two of HT:Termination, it's been slow due to my current focus being on developing my upcoming original series, as well as various other distractions. I am planning to release ch2 around the 13th, and hopefully I'll have each subsequent chapter out every 1-2 weeks.

12-30-11
I've been working quite a lot on various other writing projects alongside HT:T, but the second chapter should be finished in early January.

12-13-11
The first chapter of Hover Totality: Termination is now up! Give it a read and tell me what you think!

12-12-11
As much as I dislike setting a timetable for the completion of a story, due to my track record of failing to meet said timetables like clockwork, I am fully confident that the first chapter of Hover 6 will see the light of day in the latter half of this month. My methods of story plotting and writing have been revised, and I'm liking the results.

12-5-11
It's just as well that development of Hover 6 has been dragging; some things in my life needed sorting. Now that the storm has passed, I have gotten back into intensive development of Hover 6.

Upcoming Stories

A Hover-based story dealing with the nation of Vasyugan; title withheld

Some originals that I may post on fictionpress.

Other Fanfic Projects

Rewrites of Hover 1-3

Collaborative Star Fox project with CapnNerdy

EXTENDED BIO

Nuke's name

It started back when I joined Gamespot in late '05. I was contemplating on an epic sobriquet, when I dug around in a comic I had drawn a good while beforehand. One of the enemies' e-mail addresses included "nuclearcookout", so I went with it. It worked so well since I enjoy nuclear explosions with a joyous passion.

Physical stats

Nuke is 6', weighs between 100 and 200,000lbs, and can fire high-intensity lasers from his eyebrows.

Personality

Nuke could best describe himself as delightfully friendly, unendingly comical, and chokingly optimistic.

Home planet

Texas.

Home continent

Texas - the greatest, most resplendent and scintillating place in the history of human civilization. It only appears to be its current size due to a warp in space-time, and is actually 11 times larger than Alaska.

Bio

I am a 24y/o staunch Christian conservative, and primarily enjoy writing and drawing. Interests (besides writing) include art, geology, astronomy, meteorology, comics, model kits, carpentry, swords, Sonic, Mario, Star Fox, etc. I've been a Mario fan for a long time. Only recently (around 2008) did I become a rather avid fan of StH. When I decided to add him and Tails to my story, The Uprising of the Red Führer (which is a VERY poorly written story, but I command you to read it anyway), it kindled mild fandom. Writing a spinoff of that story, Tails the Mercenary, only added to the problem, and it grew even more when I started drawing depictions of Tails as a battle-hardened mercenary. Uncovering a few issues of the comic in Photobucket got me hooked. I believe evolution is completely flawed, and have found evidence (small sample) thoroughly disproving it.

I believe Global Warming might be happening due to the Sun (other planets are warming), but certainly not human-caused (I hear that the ice in Antarctica is growing). Quoting Aeolian Mode, "...there is very little if any evidence towards a massive global warming. Actually, nature contributes 193 billion tons more C02s and greenhouse gasses then mandoes! (With man contributing 7 billion, and nature 200 billion). And, most supporters of global warming base their proclamations on theory alone- almost all scientific evidence points to little or no global warming. In fact, some of the controversy was created by politicians. They have used this issue to raise their federal/international government control of private property. They've also used it to promote global authority at the expense of national sovereignty!"

Nuke is nice man with happy feelings...all of the time!

Illustrations

NEW PIC OF KAOLIN. I deviated from the Sonic style and gave her a more genuine anthro look.

Click here to see an illustration of Kaolin with a gun! I put a lot of work into this one.

A sketch-to-Photoshop illustration of Kaolin and Tails can be found here.

Did a drawing of Fiona as described in Tails the Mercenary 2 and Shattered Equanimity. LOOK!

A SonicxNICOLE COMIC (non-story-related) I drew.

An illustration of my Sonic fancharacter Kaolin the Fox can be found here on my dA.

Cookout's life in hyperbole

24 years ago, upon a shimmering mountaintop in Texas, a Grand Leader was born. The people were enthralled by his birth, as he had been born with all military knowledge and prowess. Following shortly thereafter was a golden age of prosperity and victory which saw the entirety of Earth absorbed into the Grand Leader's Empire of Texas.

Extended summaries of my stories (reviews are encouraged and appreciated):

Needs updating. Might do it sometime this century.

Animal Crossing: The Scandal - This story entails the harrowing quest of a young boy named Tater to overthrow an oppressive mafia presence within his humble town. REMOVED.

The Uprising of the Red Fuhrer - This follows Star Fox and friends on a quest to depose Super Mario's totalitarian regime. REMOVED.

Tails the Mercenary - This is a spinoff of The Uprising of the Red Fuhrer. It follows Tails' adventures as a battle-hardened mercenary, and features battles with units of Mario's former army, and a couple of old enemies. Post-apocalyptic and action-packed. Rated T for violence, mild grittiness, canon-character death, and minor alcohol use.

Tails the Mercenary 2 - Grittier than the first. After Cream mysteriously contracts an accelerated form of leukemia, Tails must retrieve the very rare herb that can cure it. The problem is, the last remaining specimens are being held by a small army and an old enemy. Rated T for blood, strong violence, and minor alcohol use.

Vintovka - A pleasant little first-person war story told from the perspective of a Koopa sniper. REMOVED.

Mario's Enchanted Day of Enchantment - After Bowser sends his armies to slay Mario at his home, Mario unleashes his unbridled, pent-up fury. the single most violent story I have ever written. Rated T for blood, mild gore, and ridiculously strong violence. Profanity-free (like all of my stories).

That's What Psychopaths Do - As Krystal's life hangs in the balance after Wolf takes her hostage, Fox has a morality debate with Wolf. Told from Fox's perspective. Very short. Rated T for violence, canon-character death, and some blood.

An Inharmonious Morning - A chain of vexing mishaps occurs during one insipid Mushroom Kingdom morning, and this makes Mario into a less-than-savory fellow. Can the red plumber handle it, or will he snap and mutilate everything in his path? Rated T for mild violence.

The Quest of the Two Plumbers - One vituperatively rainy morning, Mario and Luigi make their way to the grocery store. However, a certain someone intends to hinder their quest, and it isn't Bowser. Rated T for violence, alcohol reference, and fungi.

My Dearest Mina - This is a romantic letter that Tails wrote concerning his girlfriend Mina, preceding the events of Tails the Mercenary 1. He is heartbroken that he still cannot find her, but hasn't let go. Rated R for sappyness (not really). Very short.

Tails the Mercenary 3 - Sally Acorn has been shot by a sniper, and Tails has taken it upon himself to find and eliminate whoever did it. What awaits him at the end might be more than he can handle. Rated T for strong violence, blood, an interrogation scene, and canon-character death. Reviews are encouraged and appreciated.

The Night of Difficulty - Luigi awakens one night with a powerful hunger, and Murphy's Law goes into overdrive to prevent him from getting back to sleep. Rated T for some violence and blood.

Shattered Equanimity - Life was good after Tails quit his job as a mercenary and married Mina, but things were turned upside-down after he saw his best friend murdered in front of his eyes. Following the event, he went over the edge, and began a hunt for the killer, fueled by pure, relentless vengeance. Rated T for strong violence and blood.

Hover Above - As Tails collected his thoughts one day, following an incident between Sonic and Shadow, he bumped into another two-tailed fox. Though initially showing hostility, her feelings for him grew. Rated T for mild violence and action. Contains lulz. Robotnik would scowl if he read this.

COPYPASTA STUFF

Toast. There is no explanation for what I just said. If you believe this, copy this to your profile.

If you think those stupid kids should just give that rabbit some Trix, copy this to your profile.

If you think that those kids should just let Lucky have his cereal back, copy this to your profile.

If you think Slippy should die in every Star Fox fanfic like Kenny McCormick, copy this to your profile.

If you firmly believe in Jesus Christ and believe that He saved you with His blood, and aren't afraid to say it, copy this to your profile.

If you've ever cracked a joke that no one understood, and yet you thought it was hilarious, copy this to your profile.

If you are senselessly random, lolroflbbqmountain, and believe Wilford Brimley when he says that diabeetus testin' supplies can be found at Liberdy Medeecul, copy this to your pr0phile.

If you believe the medical industries are deliberately hiding сures, simply to profit off the rampant sickness that is plaguing America today, copy this to your profile.

There is nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. When you argue with yourself and LOSE it is weird. If you agree, copy this to your profile.

If you're not confused when I say the Mario brother's brother is Mario, and the Mario brother's brother's brother's rival is Waluigi, copy this to your profile.

If you think yiff (lewdness/porn featuring furries) is sick, copy this to your profile.

If you think profanity is a linguistic blemish that should never be used, copy this to your profile.

If you try to expand your vocabulary on a regular basis, copy this to your profile.

If you despise socialism/communism, copy this to your profile.

If you HATE rap more than any word in any human tongue can effectively describe, copy this to your profile. (lulz, hyperbole again)

If you do not have an addiction to caffeine, and think energy drinks are bad for you, copy this to your profile.

If you're not confused when I sing the song "I was looking back to see if you were looking back to see if I was looking back to see if you were looking back at me," copy this to your profile.

If you think double-negatives (and beyond double negatives) are entertainingly confusing, do not not anti-un-copy this into your profile.

If you drink tea, and find it to be vastly superior to soda, copy this in your profile.

If you are a night owl, get up late and go to bed even later every day, copy this in your profile.

Just because we eat animals doesn't mean we can cut them up for clothing...or does it? I think so, after all, God certainly doesn't forbid it. If you are just fine with fur coats, clothing, boots, etc., copy this to your profile.

If you think Tails is superior to Sonic, copy this to your profile.

If you like "The Office", copy this to your profile.

If you like soundtrack music, copy this to your profile.

If you look forward to serving NuclearCookout in his New World Order, copy this to your profile.

If you like techno, classical, jazz, and some weird foreign music, copy this to your profile.

If you like looking up things and finding out stuff from Wikipedia, copy this to your profile.

If u HAET Mudkips, copy this into your profile

If those stupid Soviet Russia jokes amuse you, copy this into your profile

If you are eagerly anticipating the declassification of futuristic aircraft and other technology, copy this into your profile

If you've ever copied something to your profile, copy this to your profile.

If you're bored and wish to subject others into wasting 5 seconds of their time, copy this to your profile.

If you've ever forgotten what you were going to say right before you said it, copy this to your profile.

If you think that StarFox is the BEST player in SSBM of all-time and pawns all other characters, copy this to your profile.

If you believe yourself destined to rule the planet with an iron fist, copy this into your profile. (I personally plan to rule with a platinum fist)

92 percent of the teenage population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said that it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. Put this into your profile if you're part of the 8 percent who would be garnering amusement from the ordeal.

If you think that girl's dad in the Eggo Waffle commercial needs psychiatric help for trying to take her waffles, copy and paste this into your profile.

I don't write slash, incest, or pedophile. If you don't either, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you know our society is moving in the wrong direction, copy this into your profile.

If u belive that grammer nd speling are imprtent, than copy this nd paest it onto ur profiel

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are bored and like to write stuff, copy and paste this into your profile.

65 percent of teenagers spend more time watching TV rather than reading. If you are part of the 35 percent who read more than watch TV, then copypasta this into your profile.

98 of teens have been drunk or high. Paste this into your profile if you like bagels.

If you support the freedom to homeschool, paste this into your profile.

CREDITS

Screenplay: NuclearCookout, Director: NuclearCookout, Executive Producer: NuclearCookout, Music score: NuclearCookout
Based on the best-selling novel by NuclearCookout
Starring: NuclearCookout, with NuclearCookout, NuclearCookout, NuclearCookout, and NuclearCookout Cameo by NuclearCookout

Bacon.

(will be rewritten)