There is very little, I have found, that one can learn from a simple "About Me" page. However, it is infinitely easier than answering endless emails and pesky late night phone calls.

This being said, I love to write fiction. Not the made-up-characters-in-modern-day fiction; more like the type that will send you, for even a moment, to somewhere other than your favorite reading nook. To escape from reality is a wondrous thing, but there rarely seems enough time in the day to wander through ancient alien ruins, speak with orange pygmies, or dance to the sound of a satyr's pan-pipe.

I have to note that, while I do not lean to non-fantasy fiction writing, I most certainly enjoy any and every type of fiction possible. I can devour a good novel in hours, and I love thoughtful fan-fiction. There are those moments, however when one comes across the ever present reviewer who feels it is their job to destroy a meaningful work with harsh, misplaced words. Constructive criticism is muchly appreciated, but mindless attacking helps no one. Such reviewers, and you know who you are, beware.

Anywho, as stuck in the past as I may be, there are a few modern stories I adore, the first being the beautiful Final Fantasy 7. I know, gaming nerd...let's move on, shall we? Next we have Vampire Hunter D, Last Exile, Blue Gender, and Karas, followed up with Jyu-Oh-Sei and a healthy dose of The Dresden Files and Meredith Gentry. Throw in some Marry Poppins, Hedwig, and Shortbus, a gallon or so of Firefly, add a touch of Renaissance, a dash of ridiculous B-movies and you have my favorite recipe for happiness.

There is also a stand alone novel named The Redemption of Althalus, co-authored by David and Leigh Eddings, I have fallen in love with and that you should go out right now and purchase with all due haste. And of course, there is the ever present Tolkien mixed into my influences, along with Kafka, Rice, and the occasional Wittig.

As a side note, there will always be a place in my heart for these rather random things: The Cloud of Unknowing, Olympic Sport Fencing, competitive horseback riding, house/trance/techno music, table-top gaming a.k.a Dungeons and Dragons, late night Sonic feasts, sleeping in other people's beds, Avebury (if you don't know where that is, you should look it up), IHOP, and Yoshitaka Amano art.

Now I guess you would like to know a little more about my writing, as that is the whole reason you are one this page, correct? Well, I am up for just about anything when I write; willing to try anything once, I have a tendency to aim higher than time allows. So please forgive me if I do not update on the regular. My writing style may give many a hard time; I am very much accustomed to reading Old and Middle English, therefore I have a tendency to write in that manner as well. The difference between what we read today and what was 'read' then (and please do not take this to be the sole difference between our two languages, as there are many) is that we now read internally to ourselves. We do not, unless on rare occasion, speak aloud when we read. In order for some of my work to make more sense, it needs to be sounded out loud. I am sorry if this inconveniences those of you who speed read. I am guilty of that as well.

All in all, I am fairly flexible in what I write, and I gladly take any instructions on how to improve, especially when it comes to the actions of characters I did not create. An out-of-character moment rubs me the wrong way, and I am in the hopes that if I am caught preforming such a transgression, I will be flogged mercilessly with a rusty wooden spork.

Eat your heart out, Douglas Adams

Side note: If you have not realized just yet that I am supremely sarcastic, then here is your warning: I am supremely sarcastic.

And for all you of you stat-obsessed:

Age: 23

Gender: Female

Residence: A crummy apartment in an 8-story madhouse that I would not trade for anything.

Status: Long live the king, the king is dead

Favorite Cookie: Haystacks

Favorite Random Character: Second of the Ocher Ring

If you wish to contact me elsewhere: cswiney@utk.edu or orisoun@gmail.com

By the by, if you can guess where my status updates come from, I will reward you. Don't ask me with what...I have not yet figured that part out.

Of the Vampire Hunter D, I have only this to say:

And Arthur rowed across and took it, rich
With jewels, elfin urim in the hilt,
Bewildering heart and eye - the blade so bright,
That men are blinded by it - on one side,
Graven in the oldest tongue of all the world,
"Take Me", but turn the blade and ye shall see,
"Cast Me Away". And sad was Arthur...
-Tennyson, "The Passing of Arthur"

Beowulf, son of Ecgtheow, spoke:
'Wise sir, do not grieve. It is always better
to avenge dear ones than to indulge in mourning.
For every one of us, living in the world
means waiting for our end. Let whoever can
win glory before death. When a warrior is gone,
that will be the best of his bulwark.
So arise, my lord, and let us immediately
set forth on the trail of this troll-dam.
I guarantee you: she will not get away,
not to dens under the ground nor upland groves
nor the ocean floor. She'll have nowhere to flee to.
Endure your troubles to-day. Bear up
and be the man I expect you to be.'
-Beowulf, translated by Seamus Heaney