Disclaimer: If I owned anything, I would probably be retired by now. Well, I own this pen. And that sock. Just nothing of value, like a Nintendo franchise. Or money.

Project 1: Epic Ocarina/Twilight crossover

Yeeeeah, my free time has practically evaporated. Survivor is not officially on hold, but don't anticipate updates soon.

Project 2: Epic C2 archive--help needed

One reason I don't really read fanfiction anymore is that like so many other people, I hate wasting my time searching endlessly for a great story to read. So I'm starting a C2 of the best Zelda fanfiction out there. Things like pairing, genre, length, or universe don't matter; all that matters is that the stories are awesome, well-written, and engaging. Know of a story that you think is one of the best? PM me and let me know. I'm also looking for some staff to help me out with this; responsibilities would involve reading stories to determine if they're good enough, and then adding them to the C2.

Advice for budding authors

I don't beta anymore (no exceptions, sorry), but I'm fine offering general advice. I've narrowed it down to a few pieces that I think are the most helpful:

1) Spelling and grammar do matter. Everyone's got typos and formatting errors (me, too), and that's forgivable. But if your story is rife with mistakes, people won't want to read it, or won't be able to. At the very least, use spellcheck. Or find a beta. Or both.

2) The more you read, the better you'll write. That's not to say that you should plagiarize other people's works. It means that the more you read, the more your own style morphs and matures. The higher the quality of the literature you consume, the better. You know those "classics" that your teachers would always try to get you to read in school? Read stuff like that.

3) Consider postponing chapter updates. It's tempting to post a chapter as soon as it's done, but nothing is more annoying than getting to chapter six and realizing that you now have a gaping plot hole in chapter three. Get at least two or three chapters ahead of yourself; that way, you'll have a better idea of where your story is going, and you can go back a bit and make changes. That's easier than trying to fill in the plot holes, which is usually a difficult and messy task.

The best way to spread the word

It's no secret that the number of reviews a story has doesn't actually indicate anything about its quality. But the more reviews a story has, and the more favorite/C2 lists it appears on, the more new readers it'll get. So if you like one of my stories, the best way to let me know you've liked it is to review it, and/or add it to a favorite/C2 list. I do appreciate constructive criticism, so if you didn't like something in my stories, you can let me know that as well. I read every review I get, and I will reply to all reviews that are left by people who are signed into their accounts, or leave email addresses.

Not gonna lie: reviews totally make my day more than +favs. Mostly because I really enjoy replying to reviews.

Awesome things

Psych, cell biology, Rear Window, ginger ale, the Goo Goo Dolls, anything by John Irving, The Princess Bride (book and movie), (team removed until opening day because I am pretending baseball doesn't exist until then), P!nk, Bones, Sherlock Holmes (the original stories, Jeremy Brett, and the new BBC series), anything by Haruki Murakami, Portal/2, Trader Joe's, Modcloth, running, feminist blogs, Earthsea, anything by Robin McKinley, tiny parakeets, OneRepublic, Castle, hard cider, True Grit, and anything by Michael Kimmel. Also, that time I got into grad school. That was pretty awesome.