| TWH |
Author has written 32 stories for Legend of Zelda, Rurouni Kenshin, Tenchi Muyo, Valkyrie Profile, Evangelion, Teknoman, Final Fantasy I-VI, Oh My Goddess!, Soul Calibur, Castlevania, Serial Experiments Lain, Warcraft, Guilty Gear, Sailor Moon, Twelve Kingdoms, Shadow Hearts, Naruto, Mai HiME, Fire Emblem, and Mass Effect. A writer that may not know how to write good stories, but he sure knows a bad story when he sees one. Nearly twenty years of fanfiction and Mystery Science Theater 3000 gives you a unique perspective for writing and stories in general. Anti-Self Insertion Treatise: If you or someone you love writes Self-Insertions into your favorite fandom. Here's a word of advice: Stop! Or stop them. I'm serious. Stop. I'm talking to you. Yes, you. The one with the hair. You know whom you are. Why should you stop? Well, ask yourself the single most important question that any and all SI authors should ask themselves before the embark on this madness: What makes you, John or Jane Q. Public, more interesting than the characters in the fandom you are writing in? And be honest. Really. The answer, for all intents and purposes, is nothing. And that's not a searing indictment of your person. You, like I, am a regular person, with problems and strengths that do not, and will not, fit in a world of fiction, ever. Unless you are one of the screaming masses that runs helplessly as the giant monster attacks the city. The franchises that you insert yourself into, regardless of how little or much events are changed by your presence, would murder you dead in your sleep. And for a normal person like you or I, to insert themselves into a story, such as Mass Effect (A fandom littered with SIs), and pretend that you would have an effect on events or, Heaven Help Us, be able to romance any of these*FICTIONAL* characters is egotism and wankery of the worst kind. Again, this is not meant as a criticism of you as a person. No. This is a criticism of the *idea* that you are more interesting than Commander Shepard, or Link, or Harry Potter, or Bella-whatsername. It's ok. You can join a support group when you come to the realization of the horrible, horrible thing you did. Then, you can pick yourself up, analyze yourself, and get to writing new stories involving your favorite characters either saving the world, getting it on, or just being friends. Never give up, folks. You can do it! And if you ever feel depressed about your ability to write, just take some advice from Destructoid's own Jonathan Holmes. http://i825.photobucket.com/albums/zz172/supaklam5000/TGNAOJH1.png | |||||||
1. Ubi venenum, ibi evacua » reviews'Where there is venom, evacuate it', or so the term goes. Kelly Chambers finds the adage a bit more difficult in practice than in theory.Mass Effect - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Drama - Chapters: 22 - Words: 33,014 - Reviews: 45 - Updated: 2-15-12 - Published: 1-4-12 - Kelly C. & Shepard (F)2. Munitions or Munitions? reviewsWhen Mess Sergeant Gardner is on sick leave, a relative is called in to take over his duties for the time being. One-Shot.Mass Effect - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,223 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 2-2-12 - Complete3. One Side of the CoinKasumi invites Jacob for a bit of post-Reaper War celebrating. One-Shot. Sequel to Foundation of Trust.Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,244 - Published: 12-26-11 - Kasumi G. & Jacob T. - Complete4. A Foundation of Promise reviewsWho said nothing good ever came from Carpal Tunnel Syndrome?Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,908 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 12-7-11 - Kasumi G. & Jacob T. - Complete5. At Freedom's Expense » reviewsChapter 17: Even alone, there are those looking out for you.Guilty Gear - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 17 - Words: 99,437 - Reviews: 51 - Updated: 5-21-11 - Published: 8-24-046. Enmity Spares None reviewsMany know the consequences of revenge, yet they desire to achieve it nonetheless.Fire Emblem - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,222 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 3-29-06 - Complete7. Wake Up and Smell the Ashes reviewsOtome One shot. AU. Nagi de Artai knows what it takes if you wish to obtain that which your heart desires... Episode 17 spoilersMai HiME - Rated: T - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,991 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 2-8-06 - Complete8. Shadow's Respite » reviewsFinal Fantasy IV Chapter 6: The corruption of the best, becomes the worst.Final Fantasy I-VI - Rated: T - English - Drama/Mystery - Chapters: 6 - Words: 33,734 - Reviews: 30 - Updated: 6-1-05 - Published: 11-5-029. The Wounded » reviewsChapter 9 - It's quite often you find the oddest of allies at the least expected times.Soul Calibur - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 9 - Words: 44,355 - Reviews: 27 - Updated: 4-6-05 - Published: 9-16-0310. Family Portrait reviewsWhen you think you know someone well enough, they have a nasty tendancy to surprise you.Soul Calibur - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,425 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 3-7-0511. Hues of Belligerance reviewsChapter 1: The love of Belldandy can qualm the rage and hatred of all those around her - except for one.Oh My Goddess! - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,033 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 2-5-0512. Cousins reviewsHate between families is not an easy thing to overcome, but not impossible.Naruto - Rated: K - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,609 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 1-25-0513. For But A Moment reviewsIn the First War to End all Wars, Karin Koenig comes to learn the meaning of 'peace'.Shadow Hearts - Rated: K+ - English - Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,986 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 12-22-0414. Monster in the Mirror reviewsFriedrich Nietzsche once said, "Be wary when you hunt monsters, lest you become one yourself."Twelve Kingdoms - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,445 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 7-4-0415. Overkill reviewsCrossover spamfic With great power comes greater responsibility... so who's bright idea was it to give that kind of power to a ditzy middle-school student?Sailor Moon - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,847 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 6-22-0416. Quadrivium reviewsPrologue Those who move in light must be wary of those that lurk in the shadows.Teknoman - Rated: K - English - Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,137 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 6-22-0417. Silent Severing reviewsSilence is the only thing they can give as the Dragon and the Fox seperate.Rurouni Kenshin - Rated: K - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,411 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 5-22-04 - Kenshin & Megumi18. Becoming Human reviewsIt's amazing just how much Seishino Baiken can miss when she is blinded by her own hate.Guilty Gear - Rated: K+ - English - Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,761 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 5-5-0419. Inner Vision's Perspective reviewsHeroes, regardless of size and shape, know that the greatest battle lies within the self. Jaina Proudmoore is no exception to this rule.Warcraft - Rated: K+ - English - Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,855 - Reviews: 14 - Published: 3-6-0420. Of Presence and Existence reviewsIn reality, Lain was a shy and timid girl. Deleted from existence, Lain was no one. In truth, Lain is remembered. CrossoverSerial Experiments Lain - Rated: K - English - Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,505 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 2-27-0421. The Extent of Ardor reviewsCotM Though gone largely unknown, Sypha Belnades was more than Trevor Belmont's wife or a demon hunter.Castlevania - Rated: T - English - Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,789 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 1-14-0422. The Force of One » reviewsChapter 5 Uploaded and Chapter 2,3, and 4 updated. Though little changes on the outside at Link's departure for the east, much more goes on than he realizes.Legend of Zelda - Rated: K - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 5 - Words: 42,063 - Reviews: 25 - Updated: 7-17-03 - Published: 6-16-0123. Shades of Malice reviewsNo matter how brilliant a source of light may be, there is always a shadow lurking beneath the surface.Oh My Goddess! - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,216 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 7-5-0324. Patience reviewsZelda and Link, amist a drought and during merciless summer night, find the company of each other is the only thing that can help keep their patience and sanity...Legend of Zelda - Rated: K - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,656 - Reviews: 9 - Published: 4-16-0325. Fox's Prey reviewsKenshin and everyone else has left for Kyoto and Megumi is left behind to take care of the Dojo, only to find someone waiting there...Rurouni Kenshin - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,607 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 5-1-0226. Contempt reviewsA short introspective look at Megumi Takani as she visits the Kamiya dojo to bring Kaoru to her senses...Rurouni Kenshin - Rated: K - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,111 - Reviews: 10 - Published: 3-8-0227. False Martyr reviewsWithin a moment of silence, Darkon finds temporary solace in the snow...Teknoman - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,912 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 2-28-0228. Returning In Exile reviewsThe short span of a life Shinji knew before his father summoned him to Tokyo-3 in a few pages...Evangelion - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,264 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 2-12-0229. Innocent Corruption reviewsVersion 2.0 Final At the end of Ocarina of Time, Ganon has been defeated and all is well... or is it?Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,517 - Reviews: 11 - Published: 1-20-0230. Destiny, What Art Thou? reviewsWhether 'tis nobler for Belenus to bear the arrows and spears of life, or give it, so that another may live... 'tis DestinyValkyrie Profile - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,687 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 12-18-0131. Shinkou No Michi reviewsAnji, the Miyou Oh, has returned to where he had lost his way in hopes of finding the right path.Rurouni Kenshin - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,003 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 10-29-0132. Define Happiness reviewsThe definition of happiness for Kiyone Makibi? Whatever it may be, it's out of her reach.Tenchi Muyo - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,601 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 10-29-01