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mobile edition| Voldie on Varsity Track |
Author has written 53 stories for Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, Titanic, Lost, Shakespeare, and Braveheart. I am: twenty years old, as of late 2009; legally named Christie, nicknamed Voldie; from southwest Wales, which is not a part of England, thank you very much; a university graduate; perpetually reading; multilingual; a Jew by choice; prone to laughing at things other people hardly find amusing at all; an aspiring novelist and poet; obsessed with mediaeval and early modern English history; addicted to fanfiction only when I should be revising; fond of not going to bed, art history, making irritating sound effects, and traditional tea rooms. I have far too many favourite books and authors, so to put it quickly, I am in love with Elizabethan through Restoration literature, as well as just about anything Victorian. I would kill to meet Hardy, Swinburne, and Tennyson, and I am nerdy enough to want to get my M.A. in Shakespeare studies. As you may have noticed, I’ve been on this site for nearly seven years, since I was a wee girl of thirteen. My early stories are utter rubbish, but anything after 2006 shouldn’t be too bad, provided it’s not crackfic. I have an all-encompassing love for crackfic and it’s essentially all I write these days. There are some serious pieces on here if that’s your kind of thing; they’re just sucky because I wrote them when I was fifteen. There are also various inconsistencies with my languages, both English and Spanish. My Spanish has improved somewhat since I last wrote (mangled) Spanish fanfic. I lived in America when I was young, and still visit New York on occasion, and had Americanisms drilled into my head, many of which are probably evident in my writing from that time. I’m back home now and have hopefully been cured of the disease, but an Americanism might slip in here and there. I apologise for any inconsistencies. I come on here mainly to read fanfic, not necessarily to write it, so my updates are generally sporadic. Let me know if you want a critical review, general pointers on writing, or for me to be your beta. Time permitting, I'll likely oblige you. Feel free to send me a PM just to chat, too. I don't bite. :) -Voldie | |||||||||
1. 14 Things that Always Happen to Faramir and Eowyn » reviewsTired of the old Farawyn cliches in fanfiction? Tired of songfics to idiotic songs, watching Eowyn sleep, and Denethor abusing Faramir for no reason? Behold as Voldie on Varsity Track single-handedly mocks them all. :DLord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 8,033 - Reviews: 58 - Updated: 10-21-09 - Published: 4-15-08 - Faramir & Eowyn2. There and Never Back Again reviewsA reasonable Mary Sue fic. Nicola, an English teenager, finds herself in Middle Earth after a tragic accident but, more surprisingly, finds that it is an entirely different experience than she'd become acquainted with via unrealistic fanfictions.Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,418 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 7-23-093. The Cat, the Love, the Agony » reviewsHarry desperately wishes to be with Draco, but fortune won't have it so. HarryDraco. WARNING: SLASH!Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Parody - Chapters: 4 - Words: 8,690 - Reviews: 9 - Updated: 7-5-09 - Published: 2-23-08 - Draco M. & Harry P.4. A Love Deeper Than the Sea reviewsRose remembers her one true love. Will melt your heart!Titanic - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,181 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 12-27-08 - Rose D. & Jack D. - Complete5. Sea Weary reviewsFinduilas/Denethor double drabble. Rather angsty.Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 219 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 2-27-08 - Denethor - Complete6. Love at Philippi reviewsAn idiotic and rather homosexual meeting between ghost!Caesar and Brutus. Written May of 2005.Shakespeare - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 991 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 2-23-08 - Complete7. For the Love of a Sedimentary Rock Formation reviewsWilliam Wallace has an affair with a sedimentary rock formation. Don't ask.Braveheart - Rated: M - English - Romance/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 540 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 12-14-07 - Complete8. You Don't Know What You Do to Me reviewsTis your typical Houses of Healing drama written by an unskilled Farawyn fangirl who has not read the books. Parody, of course... if I actually wrote like this, I'd have to stick my hand in a meat grinder. Written March of 2006.Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Parody/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,106 - Reviews: 12 - Published: 11-26-07 - Faramir & Eowyn - Complete9. Into Darkness » reviewsThe Quest has failed, and Faramir sends Éowyn away into darkness in hopes to save her life. But little do they know that none can save them now, not even themselves, and that their efforts have been in vain...Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Angst - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,758 - Reviews: 16 - Updated: 6-17-07 - Published: 10-14-05 - Faramir & Eowyn10. The Shell of a Soul reviewsIn which death takes the place of their dreams. FaramirEowyn, exceedingly depressing.Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,550 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 4-15-07 - Faramir & Eowyn - Complete11. The Downfall of Miss Mary Sue » reviewsBecause we all knew she had to suffer sometime... MUAHAHAHA! Join Mary Sue as she becomes ugly, is forgotten by Legolas, nearly dies in childbirth, and undergoes many wrong, yet very right, forms of torture. Last chapter up again after uploading issues!Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 11,978 - Reviews: 64 - Updated: 4-6-07 - Published: 6-5-05 - Legolas - Complete12. I Would reviewsI had to post another drabble, as Faramir and Eowyn are just too cute and darn, I wish I owned Faramir. Unfortunately, that'll never happen, so I must live vicariously through fanfic.Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 162 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 1-7-07 - Eowyn & Faramir - Complete13. Rendering reviewsHe laughs again, quietly, as if to the stars that shine about them in the beautiful rendering of what never could have been a dream. I got bored and wrote another Farawyn fic, basically.Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Romance/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,461 - Reviews: 9 - Published: 8-16-06 - Eowyn & Faramir - Complete14. Because of You reviewsA semisweet Farawyn doubledrabble I pulled out of my arse for lack of better things to do at three in the morning.Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 230 - Reviews: 9 - Published: 6-28-06 - Faramir & Eowyn - Complete15. Mi Autalë reviewsShe waits for no one, not even herself. He wishes she would. Just a FaramirÉowyn thing I came up with for Rynne's birthday.Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 617 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 3-3-06 - Faramir & Eowyn - Complete16. Love reviewsÉowyn, Faramir, and a discussion about love... yet another fluffy drabble by yours truly!Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 141 - Reviews: 16 - Published: 1-4-06 - Eowyn & Faramir - Complete17. Sweet Misery reviewsTo forget this was all he had ever wanted, and to hold her was all he had ever needed...Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,735 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 12-31-05 - Meriadoc B. & Eowyn - Complete18. Yours reviewsA sweet Farawyn drabble for Heather... actually kind of cute.Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 139 - Reviews: 11 - Published: 12-25-05 - Faramir & Eowyn - Complete19. Algo Diferente reviewsUn FaramirÉowyn drabble para mi amiga Alice en su cumpleaños. ENGLISH TRANSLATION PROVIDED!Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - Spanish - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 310 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 11-11-05 - Faramir & Eowyn - Complete20. Someday reviewsWith their dreams as broken as their bodies and time running out to find hope, Faramir wishes he could save Eowyn someday. But someday, he will come to realise, it never existed for either of them. Bad summary, very angsty fic.Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,057 - Reviews: 11 - Published: 10-31-05 - Faramir & Eowyn - Complete21. A Haryalwë Fairië reviewsA sappy yet tragic love poem from Faramir to Éowyn. It's in Quenya, but an English translation is provided.Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 330 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 10-22-05 - Faramir & Eowyn - Complete22. Coirëa reviewsIn life they despair and wait for hope, and in death they live. FaramirÉowyn multidrabble.Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 543 - Reviews: 12 - Published: 9-18-05 - Faramir & Eowyn - Complete23. Glimmer of Hope reviewsMerry finds Éowyn weeping in the middle of the night, and their conversation reveals more about Éowyn's despair, and even more about himself. MÉ, complete.Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,247 - Reviews: 9 - Published: 9-11-05 - Eowyn & Meriadoc B. - Complete24. Desire » reviewsShortly after the War of the Ring, Eowyn finds herself pregnant and alone. Fifteen years later, she finds herself desiring all she rejected years ago: the love of her child's father, Merry. Criticism is welcomed.Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 5 - Words: 18,309 - Reviews: 45 - Updated: 8-17-05 - Published: 4-1-05 - Eowyn & Meriadoc B.25. Waiting » reviewsFaramir and Éowyn in the Halls of Mandos: their pasts and their futures unfold while they must endure with patience the hours of waiting...Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,335 - Reviews: 19 - Updated: 8-9-05 - Published: 6-21-05 - Faramir & Eowyn26. Un Corazón de Hielo reviewsÉowyn tiene un corazón de hielo, y Faramir puede cambiar eso. Un drabble en español y también en ingles. English translation provided!Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - Spanish - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 271 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 6-28-05 - Eowyn & Faramir - Complete27. Longshanks reviewsA very immature fic exploring Longshanks' last moments, including a tutu, a fascist monster, and a turd that looks like William Wallace's head. I apologise it's not my fault that stupidity isn't a category.Braveheart - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 334 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 6-11-05 - Complete28. Redemption reviewsJust a short, angsty thing about Brutus I had to write for English class. Yeah. That's about it.Shakespeare - Rated: T - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 232 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 6-11-05 - Complete29. The Last Dance reviewsAragorn and Arwen share a romantic moment that Arwen must remember before she too dies... a birthday present for Evanescent Dawn.Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 818 - Reviews: 14 - Published: 6-9-05 - Aragorn & Arwen U. - Complete30. A Memory is Worth Everything reviewsTwo boys stumble upon a longforgotten room, and in it they discover a seemingly worthless portrait of Faramir and Éowyn. But what they do not know, as Faramir teaches them, even the most distant memories of love are worth everything. AU, COMPLETE.Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,184 - Reviews: 15 - Published: 5-12-05 - Faramir & Eowyn - Complete31. Truly Lost reviewsSayid remembers Shannon. SayidShannon, written way before Abandoned.Lost - Rated: T - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 825 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 5-8-05 - Sayid & Shannon - Complete32. Step Away from the Cake! reviewsHarry, in a rush to prepare for his guests' arrival, made a terrible mistake: he left the cake he prepared within the reach of his pregnant wife, Luna. Fluffy goodness! :Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,316 - Reviews: 20 - Published: 5-6-05 - Harry P. & Luna L.33. Bastante reviewsFaramir y Éowyn hablan y Faramir descubre que tres palabras son bastantes para cambiar su vida. El español no es mi idioma primero deben ustedes ser simpaticos.Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - Spanish - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 143 - Reviews: 10 - Published: 5-6-05 - Faramir & Eowyn - Complete34. My Only One reviewsFaramir thinks of Éowyn and his love for her. A FaramirÉowyn drabble written for LarirenShadow.Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 100 - Reviews: 10 - Published: 4-22-05 - Faramir & Eowyn - Complete35. Middle School Faculty in Drag » reviewsWhat happens when you mix more cliched stories with random humour? The result is this odd collection of parodies, all utterly insane and written for your sporking pleasure. Chapter 10 is up!Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 8,314 - Reviews: 42 - Updated: 4-20-05 - Published: 9-24-04 - Legolas & Treebeard - Complete36. Freedom reviewsÉowyn meets his gaze and kisses him lightly, grateful for the joy that she has found. And she has found freedom indeed. FaramirÉowyn drabble.Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 100 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 4-16-05 - Eowyn & Faramir - Complete37. Life Goes On reviewsClaire and Walt learn life lessons on the beach. My first Lost fic please be nice.Lost - Rated: K+ - English - Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 743 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 4-14-05 - Walt & Claire - Complete38. The Sweetest Dream reviewsBut now, as they lay side by side, Faramir cannot help but wonder if he still dreams. FaramirEowyn drabble.Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 100 - Reviews: 15 - Published: 3-28-05 - Faramir & Eowyn - Complete39. Betrayed By Fate reviewsThe Quest has failed, and Faramir and Éowyn are trapped in Minas Tirith and forced to await the unescapable end. Will they find a love that knows no bounds, or will they watch the onslaught and let fate betray them?Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,324 - Reviews: 17 - Published: 1-26-05 - Faramir & Eowyn - Complete40. Haunted » reviewsJust when Eowyn is prepared to move on and start a new life with Faramir, someone from her past would rather bring her down instead...Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Angst/Supernatural - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,881 - Reviews: 43 - Updated: 1-7-05 - Published: 10-8-04 - Eowyn & Grima W.41. Operation Eskimo Butt reviewsGandalf is power hungry, so he teams up with his slightly loopy mates, Faramir and Eowyn, to overthrow Queen Elessar and King Arwen. Can anyone say incoherent randomness?Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,244 - Reviews: 22 - Updated: 12-24-04 - Published: 5-22-04 - Eowyn & Faramir42. I Metta Ilquava reviewsFrodo, after sailing to Valinor, has regrets about leaving Sam in a world not completely free of evil. Does time really heal all wounds, and will death separate him those he loves the most? COMPLETE.Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,129 - Reviews: 10 - Published: 12-3-04 - Frodo B. & Samwise G. - Complete43. Lovely Raisin Nights reviewsFaramir and Eowyn spend a lovely night together. Nothing but fluff and randomness.Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,169 - Reviews: 21 - Published: 9-14-04 - Faramir & Eowyn - Complete44. Angst Therapy With Gandalf » reviewsSo, you're tired of the same old Arwen is miserable because Arry died and Faramir was beaten by Denethor fics? In this abnormal parody, Gandalf tries to help the tormented characters. Can he do it? Of course not. It only leads to trouble.:Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,760 - Reviews: 31 - Updated: 9-6-04 - Published: 8-28-04 - Gandalf & Faramir - Complete45. High School Faculty in Drag » reviewsWhat happens when you mix cliched stories with random humour and twentythree men named LaQuanda? The result is this weird fic. This is certainly not the average story. Warning: extremely twisted. Sequel now posted!Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 19 - Words: 11,986 - Reviews: 134 - Updated: 8-26-04 - Published: 6-1-04 - Legolas & Eowyn - Complete46. I Hate Your Guts reviewsWhoever says that Celeborn loves Galadriel is wrong. This is how the poor Elf really feels...Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 330 - Reviews: 28 - Published: 7-31-04 - Elboron & Bilbo B. - Complete47. Mercury, Venus, Earth and Mars reviewsI saw the movie Titanic on the shelf and thought, why not write a pointless thing about a movie I haven't seen in years?Titanic - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 605 - Reviews: 15 - Published: 6-26-04 - Complete48. Eowyn and Gollum: A Match Made in Heaven reviewsDon't ask. I wanted to try something different, considering that no one has written EowynGollum stuff.Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 352 - Reviews: 40 - Published: 6-18-04 - Eowyn & Gollum - Complete49. Kinkles the Jaguar reviewsThis is the sad result of my hatred of Cate Blanchett, too much sugar, a boring car ride and a challenge from my kid brother. Read if you dare.Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 250 - Reviews: 9 - Published: 6-5-04 - Erestor & Sauron - Complete50. Randomly Weird Lord of the Rings Poems » reviewsPointless, random and stupid poems about the stupidest things in Lord of the Rings! Don't be scared, sweetie pie, I'm a granny and I have one eye. Rated for squicky stuff and language.Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 2,033 - Reviews: 30 - Updated: 6-4-04 - Published: 5-9-04 - Glorfindel & Treebeard - Complete51. Freaky Friars from France » reviewsThe weirdest FaramirEowyn romance you'll ever read along with the craziest parody of the battle of Pelennor Fields. Flames will barbeque Elrond keep them coming!Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Romance/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,290 - Reviews: 26 - Updated: 6-3-04 - Published: 5-21-04 - Faramir & Eowyn - Complete52. Trothplighted reviewsDraco Malfoy, a seventh year at Hogwarts, is being forced to marry. But what happens when he has to marry the person you'd least expect? This is a PARODY of DH cliche stories.Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Parody/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 478 - Reviews: 51 - Published: 5-21-04 - Draco M. & Lucius M. - Complete53. Who's In My Bed? reviewsThis is a really weird oneshot fic that I wrote in maths. Could you please read and review it?Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 264 - Reviews: 38 - Published: 2-20-04 - Faramir & Boromir - Complete
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